Original subtitles

Go on, Citizen Fouch�

That cannonfire shaking the walls of the Jacobin Club...

... should shake our hearts !

It's the roar of the people's cannons aimed at the Tuileries...

... by the avenging wrath of patriots !

Citizen President, the Swiss have fired on the people...

... and the aristocrats have charged them in the Jardin du Carrousel

Impossible ! What about the sections ?

They ran like scared rabbits, with the Swiss at their heels !

We should negotiate with these mercenaries

Yeah, go make them a speech ! They'll give you an answer

Go fetch the cannons and guns from the Pont-Neuf

Deschauds, Glosier, Ramelle - all of you take this mission

And let a member of the Jacobins go to fetch General Santerre

I second the motion

He's sitting in the Assembly

Who then ?

Why you, Citizen Fouch�

Me ?

There's not a moment to lose

But am I worthy of this honor ?

Won't I be accused of ambition and personal calculations ?

Everyone knows your devotion to the public good, Citizen Fouch�

Very well, I'll go.

Take this. It'll ensure that all good patriots can recognize you.

And the aristos can beat you up.

I'll see to it that they respect it

Quick, my linen

Still at the laundry. Shall I get it ?

- Rue St-Anne ? - Yes, at Catherine's

I'll go myself

- Think you'll get far like that ? - No, just to start

What about the patriots ?

I stand with them !

In spirit.

Do you hear that ? They're in the next street !

I'm so scared !

- They're coming straight this way - Rue St-Anne ? What'll we do ?

Are they coming from the Tuileries ?

We'll remember '92, alright !

Cannons always make me nervous

Stop ! That's lye !

What did I do with that shirt ?

- Citizeness Catherine isn't here ? - No, she's gone to the Caroussel

- The Tuileries ? It's a a battle zone ! - She knows, she's after the aristos

There's no sense looking for trouble

- You know what she's like - I've come for my laundry

- It's not ready - I'll take it as it is, I'm in a hurry

Go get Citizen Fouch�'s laundry - it's outside

Hurry !

Oh, girls, what a ruckus !

Getting hot out there ?

Getting hot ? Get me a glass of water

So you're back ?

Am I back ?

- What's going on out there ? - Oh, you wouldn't believe it

The aristos are bolting as if the Devil were after them

Frankly, the Swiss have buggered off

Are you sure ?

I had a front-row seat !

Amazing !

Back to work, girls

Just cause there's a revolution on it's no excuse to do nothing

What are doing with this ?

It's mine

You can't take it like that ! I'll give it a quick iron

You can wait a few minutes, eh ?

I've plenty of time now

Did you see an aristo come this way ?

No, I haven't seen anyone

He can't have gotten away !

He had a few bullets in him

He's hiding somewhere nearby

- Search every house - we'll find him - Then we should split up

You 3 go that way, you others come with me

Tell me something, Fouch�; there's one thing that bugs me

What's that ?

What are you doing here ?

I'm waiting

For what ?

For them to take the Tuileries

You spend all your time yelling "Down with tyranny ! Rise up, patriots !"

And when the patriots risk their necks, you go and hide behind your chair

It's the job of soldiers to do the fighting

A politician's job is to patch things up again

Have you no blood in your veins ?

As much as I need ; I've no intention of splashing it around

Unlike a hero

They do it for heroism. It's the building block of glory

I've don't aspire to glory

What do you aspire to ?

To rebuild a new world on the ruins of the old

With your sour face, you're likely to become a minister

Why not ?

Go on - you'll be a minister when I'm a duchess !

So what about the Palace ?

The Palace ? Oh boy, haven't you heard yet ?

People are singing, dancing, celebrating

So if I hear you clearly, it's all over ?

An hour ago !

I'm glad to hear it from the lips of a conqueror !

We mustn't allow general rejoicing to keep me from carrying out my duty

Oh, I'd love to go see the fun !

Can we go ?

You want to ? Then run along !

If you see the Garde Fran�ais, give them a kiss !

The soldiers, mind, not the sergeant !

- What are you doing here ? - Please don't scream

I'll scream if I want

They've lost my trail. I happened to slip in here

- I'm the Count de Neipperg - I didn't take you for a sans-culotte !

I've escaped from the Tuileries

That's nothing to be proud of

I'm in your hands---

You're wounded ! This is no time for speeches

Come on

How could he have gotten away ? The road is guarded at each end

Oh, I'll get him in the end !

The way he's dressed, someone will spot him

Hey, Citizen, have you see a man come by in a fancy brown coat - an aristo ?

No, I'd have noticed that

That sort don't come running the streets

They do today !

It's broad but not deep. But I'll have to rip your shirt

That doesn't matter

I hate spoiling good linen

Alcohol is excellent to stop the bleeding

And this isn't the cheap stuff

It's a very old kirsch

On the outside, it stops bleeding

On the inside it gets you going

Bottoms up !

Anyone there ?

He's gone

Well, I don't know where he could have gotten to

It's rough to have lost him in broad daylight

Fortunately, Catherine's kirsch will perk us up

We'll tell her the news

Your bird has flown the coop !

She must be there

She's out

I don't like kirsch anyway

Don't go, I'm coming

You locked the door !

I sure did ! What with your revolution, your riots, your national emergencies

Only friends are allowed in these days

I thought you were always open

Is that all you came here for ?

Hey Sarge, why make a fuss; she's here now

It's because he's jealous !

Like a mad dog !

He's that way everywhere

He even searches rooms for rent !

The guys don't want to hear about that !

And I have to tell you we didn't happen to drop in

You didn't come just to see me ?

First of all, we came hunting aristos

And second, we're dying of thirst

Well, I can believe that. It isn't every day you seize the Tuileries !

What a day !

You can say that again !

Well, we gave them a licking

Especially those who fired on us from the roof of the palace

Well, the Swiss were just doing their job

But the others, spying on us from the shadows like traitors

If I had that guy who disappeared...

Hey, that's no way for winner to talk

I'll catch them

What a mad dog !

Not that - your kirsch ! And you'll see if it's got a smack

The kirsch ? It's all gone

What do you mean ?

I saw it yesterday - the bottle was half full

That's too bad I told you, it's all gone

- You're teasing me. I'll see for myself - It's no use

- Why's it locked ? - Because I was going out

Funny you'd lock this door too

Are you going to keep on bugging me about that ?

- And why did you take the key ? - Because I wanted to

Are you through ?

What if I want to go in ?

You'll go in when we're married. And this isn't the way to do it

It was up until now

I want to go in there

Oh, I beg your pardon ! The king said "WE want"

Maybe you've lost interest in me

- The key ! - No

So that's why you didn't come at first

- There's someone in there ! - Who ?

A lover !

You must have got a crack on the head

You think you'll get away with this ? By Heaven !

- I won't let you ! - I'll get it !

Let me go !

Leave me alone !

Ow, that hurts !

If you go in there, it's all over between us

For you too - I'll kill him

So what's in there ?

You want to know the truth... There's no one there

- No one ? - No one at all

- A big scene over nothing ! - What a to-do !

You've made a nice mess of things

- You'll have to make it up to her - I'll try

Let's let them get to it then ; it's probably gotten them all worked up

Goodbye Sergeant ; goodbye Citizeness

Why didn't you say you had a dead man up there ?

- He's dead ? - Yes

- You're sure ? - He had a bullet in his side

Poor fellow ! I hope we don't get in trouble

We'll have to get him out of here ; call your men back

- Don't you know him ? - How should I ?

He said he was the Count de Neipperg - that's all I know

- Why are you staring at me ? - To see if you're lying

He took shelter here ; he could still be your lover

An aristo - my lover ?

Quiet - he might hear

He's dead now

Actually, he isn't

- You mean it ? - Of course !

But it's true

Jealousy makes men do funny things

You're not going to hurt him, are you ?

I don't kill wounded men

I'm trying to think of a way to get him out of here safely

When I say safely, I'm thinking of us

You have a good heart, and I love you

I have an idea - take care of him and I'll come back tonight

Get out the big laundry basket

- But what if---? - Leave it to me

You're not still mad at me ?

Mad at you ? I'm mad about you !

"Citizeness, I still can't pay you

Please don't be angry that I've taken my laundry

I'll pay you in full as soon as I have my pay. Bonaparte"

Poor boy ! I hope nothing bad happens to him

The Emperor of Russia wishes for war ; very well, he'll have it

If necessary, we'll send a million men over the Nemen

But use all diplomatic means available

He wishes to have Sweden as an ally against me

This morning's dispatches confirm it

Sweden's neutrality is necessary to my military plans

You follow me, gentlemen ?

The Duke de Viborg arrives today at St-Cloud

The diplomatic accords we're negotiating are extremely important

The Duke must be received with the highest attention

The receptions in his honor must be of the greatest elegance

Tonight's reception is at the home of the Mar�chal Lefebvre, isn't it ?

Yes, Sire

- Where is Lefebvre ? - He is on duty at the palace at 10:00

Good, I'll see him then

I remind you gentlemen, tomorrow we will be hunting with the Duke de Viborg

I expect to be back at the palace by noon

Have the orders been given ?

Not yet, Sire ; you haven't set the departure time

We'll leave the palace at 7:30

The ladies need not get up so early

That's all for now

Be quick, Minister of Police

The following information is quite important

A protest took place yesterday in the rue St-Honor�

- Why ? - I don't know yet, Sire

Look into it quickly ; it indicates dissension

At the theater, Talma received enthusiastic applause for Cinna

The ovation lasted 2 minutes

Talma surpassed himself--

I'm not interested in your drama reviews, Savary

Concerning Monsieur de Neipperg...

... we have not discovered anything suspicious about him

And his correspondence ?

He has sent no letters for a month

I am delighted for Monsieur de Neipperg

Is that all ?

I have here the translation of an article in the Times

The passage marked in blue concerns Your Majesty's sisters

I will read it

I must also inform Your Majesty of an incident yesterday...

... at the home of His Highness the Prince of Compas-Serez

The wife of the Mar�chal Lefebvre made certain remarks...

... concerning Your Majesty's sisters

Out with it !

The lady alluded to the... lack of clothes...

... that characterized the Bonaparte family before--

Thank you, sir !

This isn't the first time I've heard reports of the lady's remarks

What are her origins ?

The Mar�chale Lefebvre was formerly a shopkeeper

She once ran a shop in the quartier St-Honor�

The Mar�chal married her when he was a sergeant

She's had time to learn better manners !

- Is that all ? - Yes, Sire

Thank you

You see, dummy ? Press down the pleats with your nail

Iron it in place

And there you go

If I worked like you as an apprentice they'd have tossed me out

- Please, Duchess, let me finish - No, let me

The Mar�chal doesn't like pleats that curl up

- Your Grace - What is it ?

- The Empress's dressmaker is here - Send him in

There, take it to Jasmin

Don't crease it !

Duchess, I've brought your riding habit

Oh, these receptions are such a bore !

If it's not the flowers, it's the food. If it's not the food it's the duds

Is that you, Jasmin ? Come in !

My respects, Monsieur le Mar�chal

Come back here ! Give me my shirt !

Both arms in the same sleeve ?

- Do I have to do everything myself ? - Excuse me, sir

Haven't you ever seen a man's chest before ?

What's with the look of disgust ?

What's so revolting - my skin ? It's good enough for what's inside

My scars ? They go with the job

My tattoos ? They're my beliefs - you don't share them perhaps ?

I've never let myself read them, Your Grace

Why ?

I thought it would be a liberty, Your Grace

Read them, once and for all

Then you can at least look me in the eye when you're giving me my shirt

If Your Grace insists

"Sans-G�ne forever"

- That's the Duchess - I'm sure it is

- "Death to the tyrant" - The tyrant is Louis Capet

I'm sure it doesn't refer to the Emperor

It's not your job to be witty ! Out !

A riding costume with beautiful lines !

I know but it's this godawful tail

- Look how long it is ! - It's so you can drape it !

Draping is essential for a woman ! And on horseback--

Yeah, nice dress for the horse

As for your Grace's waistcoat, it's delightful - minuscule

Yeah, too big at one end and too small at the other

A court gown already feels like a cement girdle...

... now I'm going to be squished on horseback

Really, though, how does it look ?

Perfect ! The drop is balanced, the lines are noble

Yeah, stiff as as board !

No education

Monsieur Jasmin !

Monsieur Despr�aux

- You remember me ?

Of course. I remember you from the old days

When I was First Footman for the Duke de Penthi�vre

You were dancing master at the Op�ra before becoming an etiquette teacher

I wonder what is the reason for my summons here ?

No doubt Madame wishes to consult you regarding tonight's festivities

- A ball ? - Oh no, just a reception

A good thing too, because the Duchess can't do much more than square dance

And as for her deportment--

I will announce you

And my dress for tonight ?

A fur trim on ermine cuffs

Fur ? Again ?

Etiquette demands it, because of the Emperor's 2 sisters

If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be dressing up like a performing dog

Madame, Monsieur Despr�aux is in the salon

Just in the nick of time !

Goodbye, prince of tailors

Who the hell had the bright idea---

Hello Monsieur Despr�aux, how's it going ?

Very well, thank you

Are you the one who taught La Guimard ?

Did Your Grace know her ?

I sure as hell did ! She had nice clothes, that one

Hey, find out if that bloody shoemaker has turned up yet

I venture to suggest, Your Grace, that it would be highly surprising right now

"Venture to suggest"! Be careful not to trip on your tongue

- To find him-- - You'll have to shake a leg !

Get going !

Venture to move your ass

He's just a misery, that one

Well, Monsieur Despr�aux, let's get cracking

I'm receiving a bunch of ladyships and highnesses and gracesses...

... and You-Know-Who's 2 sisters

I've to to say hi to them without looking like I'm sucking a lemon

And I have to do curtsies and bows and bustles

So I says "Despr�aux is the go-to guy for all that stuff"

I'm honored !

- Your Grace, Monsieur Cop is here - The shoemaker ? Have him come in

And any others who might be out there !

At ease ! No more bowing and scraping

- You've got my shoes ? - Yes, Madame

- Let's see them - Here ?

Why not ? As good a place as any

And let's watch out for Monsieur Despr�aux's faces

- Faces ? - Don't be mad ; it's just an expression

Hope they're not ridiculous like the last ones

Oh, Madame, just walk in them a little !

What do you think I'd do ? Crash around like a bull in a china shop ?

No Madame - you'll glide across the floor, like a goddess !

That's me, a goddess

I just wish my feet were-- Too bad

Come on, Mr. Manners - let's do the curtsey

In that gown ?

Yes indeed, train and all

As you wish, Your Grace

Curtsey first

Not bad ! But more flowing. Watch me

Left leg forward, step back, and sink down gently

Down... down...

With all this sinking I'm going to end up flat on my ass !

No, no, it's perfect !

But when I'm wearing a court gown--

It works just the same way

The steps are very simple

1 - 2 - 3 and turn

Perfectly natural

It would be without a skirt

Give me your hand and do just what I do

Left foot--

Perfect Your Grace ! As if you've been doing it all your life

Really ? I don't look dumb ?

- I appeal to Monsieur Cop - Excellent !

Once more ?

Just a minute

Nice and smooth

Never mind that. A little glass of cognac and it'll be smooth as silk

Ready ?

Start with the left

Put a pole up my ass and round I go !

I'd like to speak to you

Hey, guys ! Think of me at 8:00, going down for their Highnesses !

You call that an outfit ?

What outfit ?

That !

- It's just out of the way - You've got it all hiked up

And your language ! "Put a pole up my ass and round I go !"

What kind of a duchess are you ? Can't you learn how they talk at court ?

As if you talk the way they do at court !

I'm a soldier.

And in public I keep my mouth shut and watch my words

- What about me ? - You ?

Yesterday, did you have to say those things about the Emperor's sisters ?

Oh, them ! Two sourpusses no one can stand !

Two peacocks who'd be living on bread and water if it weren't for the Emperor

Quiet !

- You know what they told the Emperor ? - What ?

That he'd made a duchess out of someone who ironed shirts for a living

So I said, "Not for that bunch ! They didn't even own one back then !"

- You didn't ! - Isn't it true ?

I don't like snobs

They're as much queens as I'm a duchess

But you are a duchess, because I'm a duke !

Why can't you get that through your head ?

The Mar�chal's carriage is ready

I'm coming

Watch yourself - make an effort. Everything has to go smoothly tonight

You can count on me. The Bonaparte sisters will be knocked out by it

You don't have to go that far. I'll see you later

I'll treat them properly

But they'd better not hold a knife to my throat !

Catherine !

What a surprise, Excellency !

It's a long time since we've had the pleasure of seeing you at St-Cloud

I've requested an audience with the Emperor

- Nothing unpleasant, I hope ? - Quite the contrary

Lefebvre, every time I see you I remember you're wife's prediction :

"You'll be a minister when I'm a duchess"

She's a duchess, and I'm no longer a minister

- You will be again - Who knows ?

Will Your Majesty and Your Highness be seated for a moment

His Majesty's sisters are up early today

No doubt some urgent debts to deal with

It's difficult to balance the budget with a queen like Caroline

No easier with a princess like Elisa

They'll be describing their domestic problems to their brother

You think so ?

He's always marrying and unmarrying people against their will

He couldn't succeed in his own family so far ; he's even divorced himself

Setting an example by taking a new wife and getting rid of the first

He married the second time against your advice

The new Empress has never forgiven my objections

It cost you your portfolio

We'll talk about my portfolio; maybe sooner than you think

My sisters here at this hour ? What does this mean ?

Sire, we've come to ask a favor

What ?

Allow us to miss the Mar�chal Lefebvre's soir�e tonight

- Why ? - It's not prestigious enough for us

Indeed ?

This laundress you made Duchess of Danzig is impossible to associate with

Her comments on our laundry were a vulgarity

It's an insult to Your Majesty to treat us in such a way

How can the Emperor can expect--

You'll be quiet

And it's not your place to remind me of the respect due to you

I'm more aware of it than you yourselves

Tell the Duke of Danzig I wish him to breakfast with me

The Mar�chale Lefebvre is not the only one who treats you disrespectfully

You do a fine job attracting such comments

This is a translation of an article about you

An article from the Times

It concerns your public quarrels, wastefulness and escapades

How can we escape the calumnies even Your Majesty must endure ?

Every day, the simplest incidents are exaggerated

They even misinterpret the presence of Monsieur de Neipperg at court

What do you mean ? Who would dare ?

I wouldn't know their names

They say that the Emperor tolerates the presence of a man...

... whom the Archduchess Marie-Louise had honored with her intimate friendship

And you're stupid enough to repeat this tittle-tattle to me ?

These rumors are idiotic

I have work to do

I have something else to ask, Sire

What ? If it's new debts--

It's not about debts

Sire, I'm humiliated at official receptions

My title of Princess places me below my sister

I am a queen !

A queen ! You're Madame Murat !

And Queen of Naples, too !

I'm older than you !

In 10 years you won't be bragging about that !

Enough !

Your arguments about birth and precedence are farcical

It's not as if our father were a king

Be satisfied and grateful for what you have, thanks to me

That's just what mother says

Mother is a sensible woman

Even though she disagrees sometimes

And even as the empire thrives she keeps on saying "Provided it lasts !"

Mother is wrong on that point

She's right when she says "If Elisa were the moon, she'd want to be the sun !"

Don't start again !

- Your Majesty's breakfast is ready - I'm coming

Good day, ladies

And be at the Mar�chal Lefebvre's reception tonight

That's an order

Yes, Sire

Send in Lefebvre

You will dine with me. Sit down

Lefebvre, I have to speak to you about your wife

Her undisciplined behavior and talk is creating scandal

Not one day goes by without fresh reports of her insolence

You're a good man, and you've been with me from the beginning

You deserve my favor ; but you have obligations

Towards the Empress, and my family

Sire, my wife is a good woman, and loyal to Your Majesty

That's not the question ; her behavior is impossible

Sire, the Duke d'Otranto requests an audience

- This is not the time nor the place - He has an urgent message

Since Fouch�'s departure, Savary has replaced him as Minister of Police

Who knows what he wants ?

Have him wait in my office

You married too young, my friend

If you want to be a Marshal of France, one mustn't marry as a sergeant

I couldn't know that at the time

I don't blame you. But a Marshal can't ignore the damage to his reputation

My reputation has nothing to do with my wife

Your reputation reflects on me and my court

- I understand, but-- - There's no "but"

You need a wife worthy of you and your rank

That's why you'll marry the Princess Pogrovia

- That big fat lump ? - That big fat lump wears a crown

But Sire, I love my wife

We'll find a perfect situation for Madame Lefebvre

She'll keep the estate, and have a magnificent settlement

I can't eat

Think about it

Talk to your wife, and we'll settle it all in a fortnight

A fortnight ?

Forgive me Sire, I didn't mean to interrupt your breakfast

Speak

Here is a document which happened to fall into my hands

As it concerns Your Majesty, I thought you should see it

I don't like riddles

It's not a riddle ; it's a tracing

Of a letter from the Duke de Neipperg to his brother

Why just a tracing ?

Because the actual letter, after a brief stopover in my office...

... is on its way to its addressee

May I ?

"Dear brother, I am sending this letter by a trusted messenger

My mail is constantly intercepted and read by the Emperor's spies

Even the Empress's letters go through the Secret Service

I lead a miserable life in this court of upstarts and parvenus...

... excepting the charming Empress, who I have the happiness to meet in private"

Has anyone but you seen that letter ?

Your Majesty knows he can rely on me

Thank you, Duke

I will remember this

Whatever may be my place, near Your Majesty or away, my devotion is assured

What a charming melody !

You'll have a great success tomorrow at the Empress's concert

It reminds me of Mozart

Dear Mozart ! You remember "The Marriage of Figaro" in the gardens at Schonbrunn ?

You were so happy there, they called you the Chevalier Sans-Souci

What a memory you have, Madame ! You were just a little girl !

Yes but I was so proud ; the ribbon in my hair made me feel very grownup

Ah, these childhood memories !

Sir, pray go to see the Duke de Rovigo

My Minister of Police has a message for you

- An official message, Sire ? - Very official

If your Majesty would excuse me

I regret that official duties must interrupt the charms of friendship

Until later Monsieur de Neipperg

I would like to have a word with you, Madame

I'm sorry to have interrupted your enjoyable conversation

We were talking about Schonbrunn with your friend Neipperg

Monsieur de Neipperg is not my friend

He's an enemy of the state, and an ally to all my opponents

I prefer to believe that you were unaware of that

I know nothing of politics, Sire but you're wrong about the Count de Neipperg

His acts speak against him, Madame

And whether he is acting officially...

... whether by sword or pen, I see his hand in all the plots against me

I can't believe that, Sire

Since I was 10, he's demonstrated such a sincere devotion and respect

I know, Madame. Monsieur de Neipperg is your childhood friend

It is distressing that he would use that friendship for political ends

So I am recommending he be dismissed as a diplomat to France...

... which I permitted out of deference to the Austrian emperor

But I am sick of seeing him in every corner of the palace

Even the Empress's salon

Sire ! Don't you realize that your words could offend me ?

Can't you see in my eyes that they hurt me ?

Forgive me, my dear

And don't read more into my severity than my tender attachment to you

Love can sometimes be unjust but it is never indifferent

Forgive me if, to protect my happiness...

... I must take irreversible steps against Monsieur de Neipperg

"Expulsion"? My dear Count, that is a very harsh term

No ; only advice to leave France

Imperative advice

Let's not mince words. When must I leave ?

His Majesty commands - desires - you to leave within the hour

I'll go tomorrow morning

His Majesty specified "Within the hour"

I can't say goodbye to my friends ? The Empress ?

Alas, Count

Very well. Thank you.

Goodbye, Count

A melon, Madame ? Try this one

I can find a better one. Let me pick my own

As usual

This one would make your eyes water - it's green !

How about this one ?

OK, this one's good. You hide the best ones in the back, eh ?

Why, Neipperg !

Out for a stroll in your old neighborhood ?

Yes, I like to come back sometimes. What are you doing here ?

Taking care of some last-minute business

Frankly, I'm forced to leave France

Forced ?

The Duke de Rovigo tells me it's the Emperor's express wish

Tell me the whole story ; do you have a carriage ?

- Over there - Leave it. I'll drop you at home

The Emperor has decided - that's enough

You're too sad for there not to be a woman involved

Yes

I'm not trying to pry. But I don't want you to do something stupid

Like what ?

- You're really going ? - In an hour

The carriage is already ordered

And you're going just like that, without seeing her ?

I'm an old friend, you can't fool me

- Well, no, I'm not leaving - I would have bet on it

But this is just between us

This isn't just a casual romance, but the sad story of my whole life

This is the second time I've lost her

I knew her when we were children, and we both hoped we'd be together

Unitl the day our dream was cruelly shattered

- By her marriage with another - Yes

Whom she followed to France

- Anne de Metternich - What an idea !

Madame Esterhazy ?

Dora Doreska !

And you didn't want to know her name !

It's true. But I wouldn't be a woman if I weren't curious

I was able to arrange a last meeting with her tonight

A loyal friend who's served her for years will lead me to her rooms

If the Emperor finds out, there'll be hell to pay

How can I miss this meeting ? I adore her

Spoken as a gentleman !

But a gentleman has the right to jeopardize himself, not her

It's not right - take my advice and just leave

Absence is the best cure for love

As Napoleon said when he was just plain Bonaparte :

"It's the only victory won through retreat"

I see you're worried, my friend ; I must reassure you

And promise to give up this foolishness as you call it

If you promise it's as good as done. Agreed ?

Agreed

Who knows when we'll meet again, Catherine ?

You'll come back

But for now, we must say goodbye

- May I ? - Of course

You're home ? I thought you were at the palace

- What's that ? - A melon

Doing your own grocery shopping now ?

Take this to the kitchen

What's bugging you ?

I've just had breakfast with the Emperor

And that's why you're mad ? Weren't you hungry ?

It's not that. He invited me to talk about you

What an honor ! What did he say ?

He said "Your wife can't behave herself. She's too much trouble

Fortunately, there's a solution : divorce"

He wants it all settled in a fortnight

- He said it just like that ? - Yes, just like that

- What did you say ? - He didn't give me time to say anything

And he's found a replacement for you

- Who ? - Princess Pogravia

I see you've already lost your heart to her

Here's what I have to say about that

I don't care about your chateau or your money

I have my Lefebvre and I'm keeping him

When you've loved a man all the way from youth

Slaved and suffered with him through the years

Risked your life beside him, wept over his wounds

You don't leave him just like that. We've been through thick and thin

I'm going to hang onto you with both hands, for life

Hear me, you rascal - for life !

Stop, you're choking me !

Say you love your Sans-G�ne, quick !

Say you love me as I am, with all my bad manners

- Even in my corset and petticoat ! - Even without

OK, then I forgive you

I don't give a damn about princesses

Make sure you stick it on good

You watch, I'll lose my balance when I'm bowing

Crazy idea, wearing the sun on your shoulders

The Duke wishes to inform the Duchess that the guests are arriving

Tell him I'm putting the finishing touches to my rig

I don't see the Duchess

She's still dressing

I must inform you of a dirty plot

- Against whom ? - Against your wife

This way

What's this all about ?

The Emperor's sisters are determined to make her pay for yesterday's remarks

About their clothes

They're only here tonight to make fun of her...

... and get her to say something unfortunate

She must above all beware of certain anecdotes...

... that they might try to make her relate

Especially concerning a groper who stole a diamond and hid it in his clothing

They'd dare to do that in my own house ?

They'll dare anything to stay on the Emperor's good side

Thank you. I'll warn the Mar�chale

Ah, there you are !

- And my letters ? - I have them

- All of them ? - All of them

You're an angel !

- Neipperg ? - He's gone

Watch for him to come back

He had no choice but to leave at once

- Monsieur de Neipperg ? - Yes, Countess

Do you know why he left ?

It's very serious

He didn't want to say

- Tell us - you know everything. - I wouldn't dare

Tell us !

Do you promise to forget as soon as I tell you ?

- Yes ! - Word of honor ?

Then pretend I've told you and you've just forgotten

Good evening, Duke

Some advice : your carriage is often at the entrance...

... to the Queen of Naples' apartments

Switch to her livery. People will think it's her carriage and won't talk as much

Yes indeed ; excellent advice !

You're being watched day and night

What do you mean ?

All�e des Veuves, Number 12

Oh yes... thank you

Her Majesty the Queen of Naples

Her Imperial Highness the Princess of Lucque and Piombino

Where is the Duchess of Danzig ?

Pray excuse the Duchess, she's a little unwell

I'm sorry to hear that

Just a momentary faintness.

The Duchess humbly begs your Majesty's and Your Highness's pardon

This second-rate duchess can't even fulfill her basic duty to receive us

An additional impertinence !

Couldn't you have gotten here 2 minutes earlier ?

Don't gripe at me - it's the dress !

Come along and apologize

We were eagerly await you, Duchess

I beg Your Majesty's pardon, but I had to climb into fancy getup first

And I'm all in a lather, too !

But let's offer these ladies some refreshments

Is your butler hard of hearing ?

Yeah, Highness, deaf as a post

- Now a round of drinks - At the bar

Canouville ! You're back ! I thought you were in Spain !

After the palace, my first visit is to you, Madame

You're a good egg !

Your health !

- She's going to drink ! - And she calls him "tu"!

To the health of your good self, my dear Count

She's unbelievable !

Unrefined perhaps, but generous

Did I say something stupid ?

Not at all. But watch me all evening

And if I take a pinch, shut up

How can we persuade her to tell the story of the diamond ?

Nothing easier. Your Highness need only refer to the theft of her ring

And the story will pop out

Excuse me, Duchess

Your Highness ?

Remember what I said

I'd so much like to see your famous diamond

Why, how dazzling, ladies !

It was a present from Lefebvre

Is it true that it was stolen once ?

By a groper !

And you'll never guess where he hid it !

Well ?

Well...

It was in his mouth. Like a wad of tobacco

That was a close shave !

I'd heard a spicier version

People say the nastiest things, as Your Highness knows

Would Your Majesty care to taste these tiny little appetizers ?

No thank you. I don't care to have anything in my mouth

- Your Highness ? - Nor do I

Don't you think the Mar�chale has an original way of expressing herself ?

The gentlemen at the Academy call it "naive speech"

Borrowed from garbage sweepers...

... and only used now by oyster-sellers at the Palais-Royal

Oh, that's a shot across the bow ! When I'm poked I scratch back !

Stay calm

Duchess, wasn't that the neighborhood where, they say...

... you saved Monsieur de Neipperg by hiding him in your bed that night ?

I'll handle this

Your Majesty knows that he was wounded and it was broad daylight

Better places than mine would have turned him down

Monsieur de Neipperg was wise to take refuge in--

In my shop, yes

Because back then, you were--

A laundress, yes Princess

And I don't hide it

I talk like the common people because I'm one of them, like lots of others

Like Mass�na, the oil-seller, Bessi�res, the wigmaker...

... Ney, barrel-maker, Lannes, dyer

And good old Murat your husband, who was a valet in his father's inn

They call him Majesty now but back then they'd yell "Hey boy, bring me seconds !"

How dare you...

Put away your tobacco !

There's no shame in that

It's to their credit that they've risen so high through service to their country

In the palace there are cowards who deny their roots and blush over their past

Some duchesses can't forget their past and still talk like fishwives

And are Mar�chale of France with the manners of a vivandiere

I was that too, if you please

Your education in the shops was polished by drinking in the camps among soldiers

And sleeping on straw among them

Like they still do

But Your Highnesses have no right to look down on that

I'll say it out loud : I slept in the field among the soldiers

I came by my language honestly

I slogged through rain, snow and bullets

Tended the wounded, comforted the dying. Closed the eyes of the dead

It was good enough for our soldiers, who won a kingdom

I've as much right to a crown as you, who got it through their blood !

One more word, and you'll regret it !

I haven't so far !

We'll see. The Emperor will hear of this at once

It's like a stall at Les Halles !

Nice job

I can't help it. I was ready to burst

It doesn't matter. Let me give you a kiss

This will cost you dearly

I told you they'd be knocked out by it

Bravo, Madame !

- So what's happening ? - Neipperg is back in Paris

Go to the palace. As soon as he shows himself, alert the officer of the watch

- Then report to me - It will be done, Excellency

The Emperor wished to see me ?

Yes, your Grace. Despite the hour, His Majesty wished to see you at once

I expected it. My guests wasted no time

I will announce you

Sire, the Duchess of Danzig is here

Send her in

Be seated, Madame

Well it seems you've even gone further this time

You had to commit another one of your escapades tonight

When I made your husband a duke and Marshall of the Empire...

... I didn't know his wife would make him the butt of ridicule

It's gone on too long, and it must end

Taking away the titles would punish Lefebvre

It's you who have to be dealt with

You're no fool, it seems

Well, here's your chance to prove it

I've made my decision

Lefebvre no doubt told you

He said you wanted him to divorce me

So that's clear. What did you say ?

Me ? I laughed my head off !

Indeed ! And him ?

He didn't laugh ; he just said he didn't want to leave me

And what about my wishes ? Did that come up ?

Oh, Sire, your word is law !

You can send half a million men over the Vistula just to prove you can

But there's one thing with all your genius you can't do

That's to make me not love Lefebvre and Lefebvre not love me

And if Your Majesty wages that battle, he's sure to lose

You are very bold, Madame

Lefebvre will obey !

Marry your princess ?

A miller's son, a soldier of fortune and a parvenu ?

For glory, Madame

A parvenu all the same ; the sort of glory we had in the ancien regime

Your Majesty knows it

The moment you came out on top they were all bowing and scraping

Because you were the strongest

But they're not the people who love you

It's the common people who love you, like I love Lefebvre

And when you find that kind of love, from a people or a woman...

... you hang onto it cause it won't come around again

But... what you say is not without sense

It's just annoying that your hasty language has once again caused a scandal

- That's the word - You admit it ?

Yes, when Your Majesty's sisters insult the Army

The Army ?

Yes, as its representative - because I also served under the flag

- You ? - I marched with them

- Vivandiere ? -That's what their Highnesses mocked

- Well, that was stupid ! - I'm not the one who said so

Vivandiere - where ? When ? How ?

With Lefebvre, 5th Light Infantry

Army of the Vosges, Army of the Moselle, Army of the Rhine

36 months on campaign, 12 battles

Man�ve, Frimot, Fleurus

You were at Fleurus ?

Where I spent 6 months

I was even given a citation before the entire regiment !

A citation on the field, too !

Very good !

Not to mention a bayonet thrust in the arm

Wounded too ! Even better

How come Lefebvre never mentioned this ?

He assumed Your Majesty knew

Not at all

We'll make peace then

You'll keep the lover you won so valiantly

And you'll remain Mar�chale Lefebvre and Duchess of Danzig

Only... you'll stay away from Court...

... as you must feel awkward and out of place there

That's no big loss to me !

It's no fun at Court ; so starchy, everything stiff as a board

They all stand around in their collars like they'd swallowed a poker

Naturally, it's not as much fun as a country ball

I haven't had such a rough time since I worked as a laundress !

I know !

You've had all sorts of jobs

- Only two - One too many !

Vivandiere, yes. The flag ennobles everything

But laundress ! Where ? When ?

Paris, around 1791-92

I chucked it because I had so many deadbeat customers

What if I told you that there's an officer in this very palace...

... who's done very well for himself, and still owes me about 60 francs

And I've never dared to ask for it !

I think you should

He even said I could give you his bill

You think the Emperor is going to settle a laundry bill ?

When Your Majesty knows his name...

You're mad !

It's after midnight, time to finish up

Let's hope everyone isn't like your customer...

... who forgot his debt and your old friendship

I'll just refresh my memory ; in this letter he asks me for credit

"Citizeness, I still can't pay you

Please don't be angry that I've taken my laundry

I'll you in full as soon as I have my pay."

Bonaparte !

My deadbeat customer !

- Rue St-Anne ! - At the corner of the Rue des Orties

Yes, I remember !

I'm trying to remember your name

- Catherine Hubscher - No, the other one - a nickname

"Madame Sans-G�ne"

- That fine, jolly girl ? - That's me !

My neighbor !

This little paper - what memories it brings back

I see my 4th floor apartment again

- Fifth ! - No, 4th

No, the 5th, under the roof !

Why, you're right ! What a memory !

The past lives on in the present

Now about this bill

Forty francs ; can't we arrange something ?

That's not reasonable ; my laundry wasn't that bad !

It was worse !

Well, we won't haggle. How much did Bonaparte owe you ?

Three Napoleons

Out of luck again ; I don't have it on me

I guess I can extend you credit another 24 hours

Stop !

Your name, Monsieur ?

You're a schemer, Madame Sans-G�ne

And you have a very pretty ear

And a lovely face

Your Majesty took a long time to notice

I can tell you, now that it's all in the past...

... but if I hadn't met Lefebvre, I could have gone for you

The others thought you were ugly, but not me

One morning, around 11:00, I came over to bring you your laundry

I was decked out in my nicest things...

... and you ignored me as if I weren't even there !

So you were a little fond of me ?

You conquerors are all the same

Where was that wound on the arm ?

- There - May I ?

Respect for battle scars - always

Don't go looking, there aren't any others

Since I'm paying off the lieutenants debts--

The Emperor has settled the score

You're right, Duchess. Lefebvre must be getting impatient

- What is it ? - Sire... may I speak ?

Go ahead !

Monsieur Lauriston has caught the Count de Neipperg in the Empress's music room

Neipperg ? He dared to come back ?

Forgive me, Madame ; ask Monsieur de Bricquot to see you home

Follow me !

You ! Here ! At this hour !

Explain your presence in this salon !

I didn't wish to go without saying goodbye to the Empress

Really ! At midnight ?

Your Majesty left me no choice of when I could receive my sovereign's orders

What orders could you receive from the Empress ?

No one else has the right to give them

I am not a subject of Your Majesty

I am an officer in the service of the Emperor of Austria

By that allegiance I owe my devotion to the Archduchess Marie-Louise

And assume the right to sneak into her apartments at such an hour

You were surprised at her door

We'll treat you like a thief caught in the act

- You have no right ! - We'll see

Lauriston, take this gentleman into custody

At least treat me like a soldier !

If you're determined to murder me, have me shot like the Duke d'Enghien

It's too honorable for a wretch who dishonors his rank by insulting me...

... and who deserves to be stripped of his decorations

Typical Corsican ! Where's your knife ?

I should strangle you with this, but out of respect for your master I won't

I order he be shot as soon as it is light

No, Sire, don't do it !

This is not your place, Madame

It's your honor I'm defending. Out of pity for those who love you

Enough !

Take him away !

He's been locked up in the guards quarters at the palace

Poor Neipperg - always unlucky

- Does Savary know ? - The Emperor has summoned him

He's unlucky too

Who could that be at this hour ?

Go back to the palace and keep me informed

Who's there ?

Me, the Mar�chale Lefebvre !

Open up, quick !

You here at this hour ?

Forgive me for waking you in the middle of the night

I was up

- Something bad has happened to Neipperg - I know

You know ?

I know that his situation is desperate

I've come to you to save him

Me ? What business is it of mine ?

He's not my friend ; I don't much care what happens to him

The Empress hates me ; I'm indifferent to her honor

The Emperor punished me for predicting his marriage would end badly

It's ending badly - I have my revenge

An intelligent man like you, talking of revenge ?

- Why not ? - Revenge is a dish for fools

The clever won't touch it

I'm not pigheaded.

Demonstrate what's in it for me to help him, and you have a deal

You'll win if you save Neipperg and prove the Empress is pure as the driven snow

Simple, right ?

The Empress will be grateful for saying it, and the Emperor for believing it

At one stroke you'll have the gratitude of one...

... the trust of the other, and Savary's job

And it won't cost you a red cent

That's what's in it for you

A very fine piece of reasoning

So, we'll save Neipperg together ?

Agreed ? Then take me back to the palace

Agreed. Just give me a moment

First of all, we must at all costs prevent the execution

Yes, but how ?

Instead of executing Neipperg at night, like a lover caught in the act...

... we'll have him shot in broad daylight as a conspirator

- Shot ? - I'll explain it on the way

If Neipperg is part of a conspiracy, he must have accomplices

So we must postpone the execution and lock up Neipperg at Vincennes

The Empress defends herself, Metternich intervenes...

... the Emperor calms down, pardons him, and it's all over

But there is no conspiracy !

There's always a conspiracy

A respectable policeman always has one or two in his desk

I have a few all ready to go

So you'll grab some innocent guys--

A few subalterns, just for the look of it

I'll let them go in 24 hours for lack of proof

Unless I find some - wouldn't that be a twist !

But in any case, Neipperg is saved

- Mighty clever. - You disapprove ?

No. And you're saving the Emperor from committing a crime

Let's say rather a blunder

Sire, I'm no politician, I speak as a soldier

What will the Austrian emperor think when he hears...

... you've summarily executed his diplomat ?

The Tsar is looking for allies against you

He'll exploit this to get the Emperor on his side

That's my concern

Yours is to obey

Who is it ?

Sire, the Duke d'Otranto insists on an audience

I have no time

Apparently it concerns a plot

Fouch� always has a conspiracy on hand to make himself useful

Tell him to go away

- I need Savary. Is he here yet ?

Not yet, Sire

Why have I been summoned - do you know ?

How should I know, if the Minister of Police doesn't ?

I've heard some vague talk about Neipperg

Oh, that's ancient history ! He's gone !

Really ? Tell that to the Emperor, he'll be happy to hear it

- He doesn't believe it ? - Perhaps

If that's all, I'll set his mind at ease

I wish I could be there

The Emperor is very upset

I'll calm him down

His Majesty thanks you but unfortunately has no time to see you

I have to tell you everything !

Sire, how could I suspect--

Suspect ! It's your job to suspect !

Or your supposed job

Suspect things, suspect people, suspect the future !

But you don't even suspect the past

- Sire, next time I'll-- - Enough

Leave us, Lefebvre

The squad is at the Chappelle Gate ?

You have no imagination, sir

But perhaps you have a memory

Memorize the orders Lefebvre will give you

But what has the Emperor decided ?

That there will be neither military tribunal or verdict

Savary's coach will take him to the execution squad

I'm to form it. In an hour it'll be over

Great - it all falls on me

Couldn't you talk to the Emperor ?

He wouldn't listen ! He cut me off at once

And the Empress ? She's sleeping while a man is to be shot because of her

Hang on, I'll go tell her

- You're crazy ! - Crazy or not, I'm going to tell her

There's no other way to save him

What'll you say ?

Move your ass a bit, if you want to save your old friend !

What if the Emperor finds out ?

I don't think he'll shoot me. But anyway, I'm off

Let her go

There still might be a way

How ?

Escape

Don't say any more

If outside my custody the prisoner escapes...

... it's your business, his and Savary's

But once he's turned over to my men, I'll do my duty as a soldier to the end

If you can prevent this I'll be as happy as you

But until then, don't tell me anything

I don't want to know

Do you know who the policemen guarding him are ?

Barbier, Cognard, Batigny and Labouche

- Is the driver one of ours ? - No

Take care of it - whatever it takes

I can believe everything ; I'm sure of nothing

Everything suspicious, nothing sure

Monsieur de Neipperg is very bold

He never would have dared enter the Empress's rooms without permission

Sire, Monsieur de Neipperg is leaving tomorrow for Schonbrunn

I suppose he must have thought--

Don't try to scheme your way out with evasions, Madame !

I want the truth, no matter what !

The whole truth - I demand it !

- Sire-- - Speak, Madame !

Monsieur de Neipperg was to carry a letter to Schonbrunn

A letter the Empress wished to give him herself

A letter ! A pretty story !

I swear it !

And what sort of letter ?

Her Majesty did not tell me

You're lying Madame. And lying badly

The Empress knows nothing of what has happened

If this letter really exists, it should be easy to prove it

Candles

We will see

Lead us to the music room

Follow Rouston, Madame

And keep silent

Keep the candles out of sight

Go

We'll return to the moment Monsieur de Neipperg was arrested

You will go to the Empress

The order she gives you will reveal all that has been hidden

I will not let you out of my sight

Not a false word or sign

Go !

Madame, Monsieur de Neipperg is here, awaiting Your Majesty's orders

Give him this

Return to your room

For her father ?

"By order of the Emperor, the Count must leave France today

Besides the political reasons for this decision...

... there is a more serious private one

Based on our friendly relations at Schonbrunn...

... Monsieur de Neipperg has paid me attentions that have offended the Emperor

I ask you to see that the Count remain in Vienna

It is in his interest as well as mine that he never return to France

This will be a great service to your obedient daughter, Marie-Louise"

Now, you see ?

You're here, Madame ?

I'm sorry I blurted it out, but I'm so happy !

And why ?

Because I bet my eye teeth nothing was going on !

- Sire, the Duke de Rovigo - Send him in at once

Sire, I've carried out your orders - it is done

Your Majesty is avenged

What have you done ?

The man is innocent !

- I didn't know-- - You never know anything !

But Sire, you gave orders ; I energetically carried them out

Too energetically ! You were in too much of a hurry

- But what I did-- - Was stupid !

You're either a day too late or too early !

Just like with the Duke d'Enghien

It's not the mistakes you make, it's the ones you don't make !

I suppose at night you dream about the mistakes you'll make the next day

You are no longer Minister of Police

As you wish, Your Majesty

- You here, Excellency ? - What's going on ?

You look very perturbed

The Emperor has just fired me !

Good Lord ! Why ?

I can't figure it out

He ordered me to have Neipperg executed

And when I told him it was done--

Dear me... he'd changed his mind ?

Exactly !

As our dear colleague Talleyrand said :

"Only fools never change their mind"

No doubt. But what's one to do with such orders ?

Well, there are 2 kinds of orders : those you must obey...

... and those it's better to interpret

That's easy to say

I'd like to see you in my place

Really ? Well, in that case--

Would you please tell the Emperor that I request an audience

Tell him I have certain details about the execution of Monsieur de Neipperg

The execution of--

You'll excuse me if I reserve the news for His Majesty

State secrets, my dear Duke. You know how it is

What can you tell me that I don't know ?

Sire, I know that though quick and just in anger...

... Your Majesty is also merciful

Well ?

When I saw the Count in Monsieur de Savary's coach...

... I thought I'd whisper a few words, to spare Your Majesty a deep regret

- His Majesty is merciful - Yes, just the word that was needed !

But what right did I have, Sire ?

Monsieur de Rovigo is Minister of Police

He was sir, but no longer

And Your Majesty will forgive my presumption ?

Absolutely

- Then everything is fine, Sire - What do you mean ?

Monsieur is on his way to Soissons in Monsieur de Savary's coach

How did you happen to be there ?

I needn't remind you that Monsieur de Rovigo's agents all used to work for me

My dear Fouch�, that's a handy piece of work !

That's what I call a clever man !

Quickly, after Monsieur de Neipperg's coach

Give him this letter for the Austrian Emperor

- Resealed ? - Of course

Sire, is this a one-time assignment ?

No, it's a permanent assignment

I don't want to deprive our loyal police of such a capable chief

You took a big risk ; what if I hadn't decided on clemency ?

I had it covered. He'd have been caught at Soissons

You think of everything

It's my job

Until tomorrow, Minister

It's time to send you home to Lefebvre, Madame

He sticks to his wife, and he's right

Now I understand

Bring lights

Be sure to be at the coach early

I want to demonstrate my esteem and friendship for you...

... so that those who speak against you will be convinced

Majesty

Goodnight, Duchess

His Majesty invites the Duchess of Danzig to sit beside him