Original subtitles

Uh.

Huh.

Fuck.

Jesus Christ.

Ah! Ah!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Dude?

Are you good, dude?

Holy shit, fuck.

Help! Somebody help!

I need help! Somebody help!

I need help!

A man once jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge.

Well, a lot have, but this guy, he lived.

It's a 245-foot drop before you smack

into the freezing cold bay below.

Just a little over four seconds of falling.

The man said he regretted it the moment his last finger

departed from the rail.

But I think a sea lion saved his life or something.

It's a really good story, but I don't know.

Everyone keeps telling me there's a reason

I'm still here and all.

I wanna regret it. I really do.

But it's just the only thing I truly regret

is not using a gun.

Fuck, man. You scared me.

Sorry.

Do you know how they died?

How the fuck should I know?

Yo, man, you kill this bitch or something?

- What? - Great work today, bud.

Thanks.

- Couple new plots? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're dropping like flies out there.

But hey, good for business.

You sure I can't bring you home?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm sure. - Oh, come on.

You must be exhausted from pushing that thing around.

It's hot as Satan himself out there.

I'll stop in and say hey to your folks.

No, really. Ah, I'm sure...

I don't mind running. It's my doctor.

Um, well, therapist.

Um, she thinks is good for me.

All right. Oh, hey, I got you something.

Go ahead.

Ah, you didn't have to get me anything.

Just open it.

Hey, bud, did I wake you?

Ah, perfect fit.

- Thank you. - Hey, everything okay?

Yeah. (chuckles) No, everything's good.

- I'm good. - Okay, good.

You know I'm always here for you, bud.

I know.

Um, hey.

You got it?

Yeah.

- This is too much, bro. - What do you mean?

I mean, it's fucking too much.

Oh, okay. I, I, I'm sorry.

I wasn't sure if you took gratuity or not.

Listen, you ain't gonna shoot up

no fucking school or nothing, are you?

What? No, ah, no.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday, dear Will ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Yay. - Mm-hmm.

Sorry, I didn't get you anything.

I never know what to get you.

It's okay. I don't need anything.

It really is okay.

I wouldn't want them wasting their money.

Excited for your first day tomorrow?

- I guess. - It'll be nice.

A fresh start, right?

Dr. Saretha called the house.

She said you haven't been picking up her check-ins.

- Yeah. - Because you can tell us

if you're not.

Your father and I are always here for you.

I know. I'm okay.

Isn't that right, John?

Yeah, yeah, it's great.

What the fuck's wrong with the cake?

Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself,

"Is this person worth saving today?"

The answer is usually "no."

Anyone who would've known me graduated already.

It's nice being able to just blend in for now.

No fucking way, dude. The boy who lived.

Yeah.

Spanky, nice to meet you, man. I'm a huge fan.

- I'm Will. - No shit.

If we weren't in fucking swim class right now,

I'd take a selfie with you.

You're Tattle famous, brother.

What's, ah, Tattle famous?

Dude, you don't what Tattle is?

What, were you in a medically induced coma or something?

I was.

Oh, dude, dude, you, you smell like shit.

You, (sniffing) you smell like a wet,

like a wet fucking hoagie or something.

Anyways, ah, I guess it's like this blog thing

where you can anonymously say whatever you want

about the people in your area, and it's actually

how I found out that fucking David over here

eats peanut butter out of his girlfriend's stinky vag!

Fuck you, L.J.

Why are you even taking first period swim?

- Aren't you a senior? - Calm down, Skippy.

Sheesh, brother.

Someone's having a bad day.

But very good question.

You see, I heard through the grapevine

that little Miss Robin Young was assigned

this period's swim aide, and your boy here could use

a lesson or two in the breast stroke, baby.

That was weak as hell. Wait, why are you here?

You're obviously not one of these cute little Sophies.

I like to swim.

Oh, that's fucking weird.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, dude! Here she comes!

Here she comes!

- Yeah, Robin. - I feel bad for her,

but for some reason I can't help but stare with the others.

Dude, you fucking see that?

- What? - What?

She looked right at me, dude.

She basically just said with her eyes,

"Spank, daddy, me, you, locker room."

Welcome to the first day

- Do you know her? - Of swim class.

Dude, she's the girl's team captain.

She's fucking crazy, both mentally and athletically.

- Might win states this year. - At what?

- At what, what? - States.

What is she gonna win states for?

- XC. - Our legs will glide us

- through the water. - XC?

Jesus Christ, dude. Cross country.

Our team is mother-effing god-sent!

Hey, hey, L.J.

Come on, man. What, what's this guy doing here?

- Sorry, Mr. S. - All right

- Looking hella fit though. - Thanks, buddy.

Ah, (sniffs) started working out.

Appreciate you noticing that.

I'd bang Mr. Straus 1,000%.

I need to pair you up. One, two, one, two, one, two.

You get it. Okay.

Oh, remember, when you breathe...

I wish I could make people laugh.

Strokes, so stroke, stroke, breathe.

Let me hear you say that. Stroke, stroke, breath.

It is hotter than Satan's wallet in here.

Glenda, turn on the air!

- All right, let's hit the pool. - Woo!

You mind if I share this one, Skip?

Fuck.

You got a tight little core there.

- You work out? - Ah, thanks.

No, um, I run and do, landscape.

Hey, let me get some of those suds.

So why don't they call you Spanky?

Guys on the cross country team give all the freshman

nicknames after the first practice.

They said I used to look like a little girl in my tights

- like I was wearing Spanx. - Oh.

Dude, you should come out for XC.

Ah, the squad's swaggy as hell. You'd love 'em.

I, um, work after school.

- Why? - 'Cause I need money.

Dude, what? Fuck the money.

Life's too short. Ah, sell your jizz online or something.

- How do you do that? - What?

You know, you know, I don't fucking know. I'm just saying.

You know, it's your last of year childhood.

And you gotta take it in. Come out.

Guarantee you'll love it.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybes are for squares, bitch.

Oh, shit!

Seniors, don't forget look your best

for Senior Portrait Day next Friday.

Speaking of Friday, Friyay, am I right?

Tomorrow night, we'll be the taking on the Stars

in the big game in our home stadium.

Don't forget to cheer them on. Go Knights!

Hi, my name is Brianna, but you can call me Bri.

My fun fact.

Okay, so I got to intern at the White House

this past summer.

- Wait, did you get to meet - Yeah.

- Obama? - Did you see the gardens?

- I didn't. - What's so fun about that?

Okay, all right. Let's settle down.

Thank you. Will.

Um, (clears throat) I'm, ah, Will.

Which is short for William, I guess.

And your fun fact, Will?

Ah, fun fact, um, I guess

I've never been to a concert.

That's not fun.

Okay. Francesca.

Hi, my name is Francesca, and my fun fact is that my uncle

was on the Phillies team when they won the World Series.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- That's sick. - Sometimes when things

are already bad, little shit like this

can really put you over the edge.

Thanks for your patience, brochacho.

So how may I help you today, my good sir?

- I need to borrow a camera. - Ooh, nice.

Would this be a photo or video venture for you?

- Video. - Perfect, yes.

Gotta capture that content, baby.

Hey, can you do me a quick favor and hang tight?

I'll be right back.

- Marco. - What?

Say "Polo."

So what are these again?

- Polo. - Hey.

I'm just busted your balls, Zambroni.

Okay.

A Panasonic H.264AVC, fully high Definition

handycam at your service.

Now, what will this be used for exactly?

Hey.

I, um, fuck.

Hello everyone. Um...

Jesus.

Ooh.

Mom, Dad, um,

I just want you to know,

um, I've just been really fucking, freaking, sorry.

It's just been really hard, you know?

And, um, and it's not your fault or anything.

You didn't do anything wrong.

All the help's been really nice

and makes sense and everything.

It's just, um...

I think I know what I need to do to get better.

I do. Um...

I don't know, I look around and I look at me.

It just doesn't feel

like it's worth trying to get better anymore.

I, um, I just...

I think I'm sick, you know?

Um...

I hope you can forgive me.

I'm sorry. I love you.

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck, fuck.

Fuck.

Hey, I'm leaving.

Holy shit. Dad!

Jesus Christ.

You scared the shit out of me.

- I'm going to school. - What?

I couldn't hear a word you were saying.

These things are out of this world.

You gotta try 'em, Robin, come over here.

I can't. I gotta go, Dad.

Oh, relax. You got like a 4.0.

You can afford to be late. Come here.

Now get there. All right.

No.

And remember, don't be tardy.

How are you today?

M-Me?

Yes.

I'm, um, I'm Will.

Nice to meet you, Will,

but I asked you how you were doing today.

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm having a good day.

Where you going, Will?

I should go to class.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes, please.

♪ Ooh, na, noo ♪

♪ Do, do, ooh ♪

Keep 'em closed. ♪ Ooh, na, noo ♪

♪ The very first time that I saw your brown eyes ♪

♪ Your lips said "Hello" and I said Hi ♪

♪ I knew right then you were the one ♪

♪ But I was caught up ♪ ♪ Ah ♪

♪ In physical attraction ♪

♪ But to my satisfaction ♪

♪ Baby, you were more than just a phrase ♪

♪ And if I ever fall in love again ♪

♪ I will be sure that the lady is a friend ♪

I hear you like to run.

Yeah, I do, um,

My doctor,

well, she's my therapist.

She runs. She said it might help me with some stuff.

Smart lady.

See you at practice.

The Slim Reaper himself.

You made it.

You gonna get ready?

I am ready.

The fuck you are. You can't wear jeans out there.

Holy hell, man. Tell me the honest to god truth right now.

Exactly how many people have you fucking murdered?

Just give me a roundabout number five, six, seven, maybe?

Jesus, dude, my nuts are screaming

thinking about you jogging around in fucking denim.

Yo.

Put these bad boys on.

See your cute ass out there, player.

Be careful. It's all wet.

Wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.

Fellas, I'd like to introduce you

to our newest teammate, Will.

This is Toad.

- Welcome to team, bro. - Sauce.

Boots.

Welcome to the team.

Simple Jack.

Hey.

Bear Jew.

- Mm-hmm. - What's up, man?

- Come on, guys! - Bumper.

- What's up bro? - And Jizz.

Hi.

Dude, I'd literally give both nuts

to stick my nose up in there and just (sniffing), woo!

Right?

I can't wait for L.J. to graduate.

Who's that new kid?

Pretty sure he is taking my swim class.

I'm like 98% positive that's the kid that tried

to kill himself last year in the B-Pod bathroom.

Ew. What the fuck is wrong with him?

Why would anybody try to kill themselves?

So why'd you try to kill yourself?

Dude, what the hell kind of question is that?

Well, sorry, Sauce.

Ah, hey, Will, what's your favorite animal, man?

No, no, wait. Let me guess.

Is it by chance that giant fucking elephant

just chilling in the room?

No, um, (clears throat) it's okay.

- See, let the man speak. - Set!

Hit it! Hit it!

- Well, I... - Got addicted

to his mom's sleeping pills and OD'd or something.

- Ew, what the fuck? - Yeah.

He must be like seriously fucked up.

I can't believe he's allowed to go to school here still.

This place is going to shit.

Damn, dude. That's heavy.

Did it hurt?

Well, I...

Shit his pants seizing on the ground.

So gross.

Apparently, the smell was so morbid

the teacher threw up in his mouth trying to give him CPR.

Ew.

- That's crazy, man. - Yeah, guess.

What'd your parents do?

- My parents... - Found him trying

to hang himself from his bedroom ceiling fan

- a few weeks later. - Such a selfish thing to do,

leaving your family to deal with that.

Right?

How would a ceiling fan even support his weight?

- It wouldn't. - You're good though now,

- right? - Yeah, we're not gonna

find you in the locker room floating in a pool

of your own blood, are we?

Nah, I don't think so.

- I hate blood. - How do you know, Robin?

Have you tried it?

You're so fucking funny, Emma.

You're just regurgitating all that shit on that stupid blog.

Blog? It's not 2006.

I hate you.

Robin thinks the new kid is hot.

She's always had a thing for the strange ones.

Oh yeah, because Sauce is so fucking cool

and popular, Becca.

You good, man?

Yeah, yeah, I think so.

You got this, dude. Only four and a quarter miles left.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Oh. Ooh.

Hop in.

You're gonna be all right.

Take it, I must fix this.

Robi, my queen.

Survive in a relationship, often

- What happened? - They identify a prob...

Oh, baby bird. What happened?

I'm fine.

It's stupid.

What? What's stupid?

Oh, you know, just fucking everyone

and everything ever.

Well, you're not totally wrong there,

but I do know one thing that's not stupid.

I don't know. Say it

Friday Fucking Fro-Yo.

So, you thinking sub 17:15 tomorrow?

Yeah, judging by how I felt like a giant shit today,

- I doubt it. - Why'd you feel

like a giant shit today?

Your left foot again?

No, my foot's fine.

I guess I just feel heavy.

Over training?

I don't know.

It's probably all just (raspberrying).

Probably.

Tomorrow's low pressure, right?

So just try to have fun with it.

Besides, I'll be there either way.

What do you way we get the fuck outta here

before I crap my pants on the way home?

Dad, I'm telling you, you have a lactose problem.

What? It's not ice cream.

Yeah, and it's not dairy-free for the billionth time.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

- Welcome to the... - Woo!

Good luck.

Oh, God.

Uh.

Um, you can't use this one.

Why?

Did you take a huge sloppy shit or something?

What? No, I, I, that wasn't me. I just peed, I swear.

I trust you. These things are hell on earth.

- I'm Will, by the way. - I'm Robin.

Yeah, I know. I, I mean, I don't know.

Okay.

I, ah, I really gotta pee.

Right, yeah, um, well, ah, good luck

in, in the race.

Not the porta potty.

- West what? - West Penn!

Let's go, Robi!

- Runners set. - Woo, woo!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Woo-hoo! - Woo, woo!

Pills, Pills.

You see that Neshaminy kid try to put his elbow

in my chest at the start line?

Oh no. I couldn't see from where I was standing.

Dude, kid put his elbow here on my sternum,

then I swim moved his ass like this.

Boom, took right off.

Had him kissing the back of my sack

- the last 1600. - Yeah, man.

Oh, it's my bad, big dog.

- What was that? - What?

What was what?

Rob, just eye banged you.

- Eye banged? - Yeah, hard.

What the fuck was her deal today?

- What do you mean? - She almost fucking lost.

Yeah, but she won. She passed a bunch of girls at the end.

It was awesome.

I've seen the Robin Young race for the last eight years.

Never once seen her have to come from behind.

Maybe she was having an off day.

Ah, yeah. You think?

She needs to get her shit together.

She looked hot still at least.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm.

I'm def barfing

everywhere tonight.

You're gonna see little bits of spare ribs caked

all over the track on Monday.

Aw dude, do you remember when Slim shit himself

on the back stretch?

- Fucking Slim. - Dude, fuck Slim.

- Yeah. - What's going on tonight?

We got the beer mile relays at the stadium

once we get back.

You want in on our squad or what?

- Ah, yeah, definitely. - Mm!

- Yeah, dude. - Yeah.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. First meet today.

Nice start to the season. Little rust buster.

Times aren't quite where we want them to be,

but thankfully the season's still young.

Either way, first meet under our belt

and let's not do anything dumb tonight, please.

All right? Let's get on the bus.

Welcome to the 28th Annual West Penn XC Beer Mile Relays.

- Work it, right? - Hey, the rules are simple.

All right, each team has four members.

Each member must finish one full can of Prestone Light,

courtesy of Becca's older brother.

Yeah, Becca's older brother.

Sure, sure. Snap it up, snap it up.

Each member must finish their can

before the end of the exchange zone.

Once proven that the contents of your can are empty,

- you must then race 400 meters - What the fuck is this?

Around the track until you're able to tag your par...

I'm sorry, is there something more important

going on that I'm missing?

- This isn't beer. - What, what do you mean

- this isn't beer? - It's O'Douls.

It's nonalcoholic.

What the fuck is O'Douls?

Jesus, God, Becca, what the fuck?

What do you mean, what the fuck?

You had one job.

I didn't sign up for this shit.

Oh, your brother's such a dick.

- Shut the fuck up, Toad! - Don't tell him

- to shut the fuck up. - It's all my fault, right?

It's the fucking fuzz! Run!

Oh, ah, ah, ah!

We'll be good in here.

Why do you have those?

I'm a janitor.

Cool.

I'm not a fucking janitor.

Mr. Straus gave me these 'cause he likes the coffee

at Yum Yums but there's always a line.

So he gave me this to let everyone in.

Right.

Wait, so why are you in my first period swim?

I like to swim.

You're fucking weird.

- I know. - You're funny.

- Good job today. - Shut up.

You won though. It was incredible.

Can confirm, did not feel incredible.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

- Sorry. - Why?

I don't know.

- So, Pills? - Yeah.

Why did you...?

Fuck, I probably sound like every other

knuckle dragger that goes here.

No, it's okay. Ah, I know it's crazy.

Yeah, I don't blame you.

Let's talk about something else, huh?

What does William...

- Davey. - Okay.

What does William Davey like to do

other than take massive dumps in public porta potties?

Okay, I, I think I'd rather get arrested right...

Stop, sit. Okay, okay.

What does William Davey plan to do with his life

once freed from the walls of West Penn Penitentiary?

- Penitentiary? - Come on, this place

sucks balls and not in the good way.

Come on. Speak.

What do you wanna do after all this?

I don't really know.

I guess I never really thought I'd get that far.

Christ, that's intense.

Excuse me while I drown myself in the deep end.

- Okay, I'm sorry. - Stop saying that.

- What about you then? - Wildcats.

Wildcats?

- Shh! - Shh!

Villanova Wildcats. I'm running there next year.

That's awesome. Congrats.

Yeah, it was a dream.

It's not anymore?

- I think I peaked too early. - What do you mean?

I've sucked all year.

It was one race. You'll get it back.

Yeah, but maybe I never will.

Hey, you can't be in here.

Every year, somebody gets caught.

I'm not mad at you.

It just means that we're dumb and slow.

You guys are gonna hold these planks

until I get back from my meeting with the AD.

Pills, Pills, I saw a Tattle,

Robin gave you a good suck in the shallow end

the other night.

What? It wasn't me.

Hope it was worth it though, man.

- Nothing happened. - Oh, come on.

You two in love now or what?

Details, Pills. Details.

You're blue-balling everyone here.

No, we just ended up in the same spot.

It wasn't like that.

Christ, we're doing this shit for nothing?

The next time you wanna fuck the team,

at least get a finger in there first.

- I'm sorry. - Uh!

Get up, Jizz!

A little risky getting involved with that kid.

- Shut the fuck up. - Fuck!

I'm just saying.

Those fucking geese could wake the dead out here.

The geese could wake the dead out here.

- What? - The geese?

They're loud.

Yeah.

Ah, mm.

Some more dough.

Oh.

Hard practice today?

Yeah.

Did you call back that Nova guy yet?

He keeps emailing us about the incoming

freshman press release.

What? Yeah, I don't know.

Figure it out tomorrow.

Are you talking to someone on that thing or...?

No.

- How was school? - Dumb.

Well, before you know it, it'll be over.

I can't wait.

Mom used to make this better, huh?

- Dad, not right now. - I'm just saying.

Yeah, well, you don't have to bring her up every night.

I know. You're right.

Fuck, I'm sorry. I just don't feel good.

Maybe because you just inhaled that.

You all right?

Yeah. I'm just gonna go lay down.

Just not right.

I can see a good ass when I see it.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Don't lie to yourself. - Next Friday.

- Hey. - Hey.

So don't miss!

Oh, come on.

Yeah, fuck me, right?

Yeah, no worries, Pills.

I'll just go ahead and Glansburg my way to fucking E-Pod.

Thanks. (laughs) Yeah, this actually works out well for me.

Every cool kid walks by themselves.

Oh wait, they don't 'cause they're not

fucking hunters like me.

Oh, this is great. Hey, man, what's up?

Nothing much. Just going to class.

I don't think we should do this.

Do what?

- Nevermind. - Okay.

Do you need help carrying anything?

No.

Do you wanna do something tonight?

Okay.

See you in there, big boy Pills.

Dude, are you chubbed out right now?

What?

Are you chubbed out right now?

Oh, I was looking at boobes.

You were looking at boobs. What the fuck?

Yeah, um, on my phone.

What, just chilling on the hub before rinsing off

with your bros?

Hey, man. No judgment here.

Love the energy you're bringing.

But yo, let's fucking do something fun tonight.

- No meet this weekend. - I can't.

Dude, seriously? Why?

You know, Robin.

Already whipped.

Christ, dude.

All right. Well, just be careful.

- What do you mean? - Robin's fucking crazy.

♪ So I'm just saying ♪

♪ We played through the scenes ♪

♪ Called it a remedy ♪

♪ You can take care of me ♪

♪ But you know, I know ♪

♪ We played through the scenes ♪

♪ Called it a remedy ♪

♪ You can take care of me ♪

♪ But you know nothing about me ♪

Woo, woo!

How have you never been west of Pittsburgh?

Does South Carolina count?

What? No.

- Why would that count? - I don't know.

I'm, ah, pretty sure that's more east than where we are

- Yeah, okay, okay. - Right now.

Sorry, that was a little gross.

Um, what about you then?

Um, definitely Utah.

- What's in Utah? - It's incredible though.

My, ah, parents took me there when I was 14,

and we sat under these huge rock arches

and I don't know, I guess it just made me feel

like really small and like, like the world was so big

and like there was just so much out there, you know?

Holy fucking shit.

- What, what? - Will.

We should go there.

Am I legally a genius?

We've got to plan it. Okay?

Well, aren't we excited? How was everything?

Everything was perfect. Thank you.

These plates sure speak for themselves.

And you with that tiny little figure. Sure cleared that one.

I am assuming no dessert?

Ah, I think we're okay.

Okay. I'll get youse the check.

Show me those pictures of Utah.

Here. I'm gonna run to the bathroom.

Here's my half.

Okay. Um, I'll just wait here then.

No, I did not. You let me...

All right, honey, you can pay at the register

- when you're done. - Thank you.

- That was fun. - That was not at all.

Mm.

Could I have another mint?

28.72.

Ah.

♪ Our love will never die ♪

Um.

Mm.

- Hey. - Hey.

Shit.

Nice.

Ah, are you feeling okay?

Yeah. I'm feeling a lot better.

I ate your mint.

It's okay.

Oh, okay.

♪ And so I'll be seething ♪

Can I show you something?

♪ And then there's talk of leaving ♪

This is where you work? Jesus fucking Christ.

Just come on.

I swear to God, if you fucking kill me,

I will kill you so much fucking harder.

This isn't so bad.

Like in a weird, fucked up, dark, twisted kind of way,

sort of see why you like it here.

- Ah! - Shh!

What did you do that for?

It's not like they're sleeping.

Ha!

Do you ever think about what it could have been like?

- What do you mean? - Ended up like them.

I, I guess it would've just been like nothing, maybe.

Yeah, but nothing? Try and imagine nothing.

It's literally impossible to know what nothing feels like.

See, it's literally impossible.

I don't know. I, I guess I never really thought about

what happens after.

I guess I just figured whatever happens,

maybe it's just a little bit better than this.

Do you regret it?

I don't know.

Just think you would've missed out on meeting me.

Besides, you're with me now,

which means if you hurt yourself, I'll hurt myself.

- Don't say that. - What?

It's only fair.

If you fucking kill yourself, I'll fucking kill myself.

What? No, I'm not making a fucking suicide pact with you.

Ah, fine, fine. Okay.

Then you're my boyfriend.

I've just decided, and if you leave me, I'll kill you.

Okay. Deal.

And here comes Robin Young,

coming down the final stretch!

Jessica Beecher in second.

Robin Young, she'll go on to become 5K champion!

They said you're waiting for her.

Mr. Young.

Yeah. Is she okay?

- She's okay for the moment. - Do they know what happened?

- Low blood sugar levels. - So that's good, right?

This is nothing serious.

Why don't you head up there? She'll be happy to see you.

Okay. Thank you.

Robin.

Hey, Robin.

Robin.

Robin, Rob. Fuck, ah, somebody help!

I'm sorry. That was, that was so mean.

That's not fucking funny, Robin.

- Oh, come on. - Jeez.

That was a pretty compelling performance,

if I do say so myself.

- You're insane. - Aren't we all,

William Davey?

Bet it's not even real gold.

What's wrong with you?

You scared the shit out of everyone today.

Oh, please, I bet everyone wished

I would've collapsed sooner.

- What happened? - Who knows?

I don't really remember finishing, but I still won.

The, ah, nurse said it was just low blood sugar.

So no biggie.

How long have you been here? It's, ah, getting late.

You should get home. Plus I gotta catch up on my serve.

No, it's okay. I can stay longer.

Will, come here.

My lips are crusty.

It's, um, really dry in here

Now go on boy, get!

♪ Ooh, da, do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Ooh, da, do, do, do ♪

♪ The very first time that I saw your brown eyes ♪

♪ Your lips said "Hello" and I said, Hi ♪

♪ I knew right then you were the one ♪

♪ But I was caught, ah, in physical attraction ♪

♪ But to my satisfaction ♪

♪ Baby, you were more than just a phrase ♪

♪ And if I ever fall in love again ♪

♪ I will be sure that the lady is a friend ♪

♪ And if I ever fall in love so true ♪

♪ I will be sure that the lady's just like you ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Help me, help me!

I'm not going back! I'm not going back!

I'm not going back! Help me!

Please, help me!

Help me! Help me!

Help, help me!

I'll double your pay.

Get you one of those John Deere zero-turn things.

It's just with school and cross country,

- it's just been a lot. - I know, I know.

I'm just busting your chops. No, no.

I'm, I'm happy for you. I really am.

So I guess this is it?

I won't see you till Thanksgiving?

Yeah, I guess so.

Your mom's turn to cook?

Unfortunately, yeah.

Oh, come here, bud.

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ Woo-Hoo ♪

♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

♪ You don't, you don't gotta feel good ♪

♪ Doing things I never thought I could ♪

♪ Smiling in the mirror, I look good ♪

Condition?

Dad, what the fuck?

Robin, you're not healthy right now. We need you healthy.

It's only a couple weeks. Get yourself together.

You'll be ready to go for the indoor season.

No, no, in 12 days, I'm the number one seed

- at fucking states. - Robin.

No, I'm running.

Robin, we can't let you compete right now.

Yes you can. Why can't you?

You and you should know that. I, I'm, I'm running.

Robin. It's not up to us.

Yeah, you're right. It's not up to you or you or anyone.

It's, it's my body. I, I, there's no fucking condition.

Ah, I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine.

You're fine, Robin? You're fine?

Look at yourself. Look at yourself.

Can you see yourself?

One moment you're laughing and the next

no one can talk to you.

You're not you, Robin.

And you are killing me.

And you're killing yourself, Robin.

You're really not gonna let me run?

You can't. I'm sorry.

I'll never forgive you for this.

You know, Murray, you've seen it before.

- Hi, girl! - I know I've seen it.

- $10,000. - No fucking way.

I'd even let him finish in my mouth

for another five grand.

I wouldn't even start considering

- before a million. - Oh, bullshit, Sauce.

You're telling me you wouldn't take $999,000

for a little bit of man meat in your mouth?

I definitely wouldn't do it for 10,000.

You're gonna need that money to pay for college.

We all know you're not getting any scholarships.

I'd bet Pills would give money.

Pills, yo.

- How much? - I'm with Sauce.

- Thank you, man. - Oh, fuck off.

All of you.

Kurt can fuck. Fuckers.

Jesus Christ.

Scared the shit outta me.

Can you hand me that?

- Are you okay? - Just dandy.

- Are you avoiding me? - I've been busy.

You weren't at practice again.

My left foot's been bothering me.

What's with the hundred billion questions?

- I don't how you do that. - Do what?

The ice bath. It seems so painful.

I don't know. I guess you just get used to it.

Does it work?

Can you actually take me home?

♪ Maybe you're beautiful ♪

♪ It doesn't mean that I'll stay, oh, no ♪

♪ So I'm just saying ♪

Can you come in?

Hey.

Oh, hey, Will.

It was my wife's pick. It's not really my thing.

It's really cool.

I think she hates me now.

I don't think she hates you.

Hmm.

Oh, what do I do, Will?

I know she'll come around.

Well, at least she usually does.

She's the best.

Yeah, she is.

- First meet tomorrow? - Yeah.

That's awesome. Run fast.

Thanks. I'll try.

Let me know if she needs anything.

Come, sit.

Ta-da!

I was between this and Willpower.

Please don't do that. It's embarrassing enough.

Don't say that. It's not embarrassing.

- It's a meet for scrubs. - Yeah, but you're my scrub.

That doesn't make me feel any better.

Are you nervous?

Yeah, ah, I guess I am,

but shouldn't be though.

Just means you care.

I'm happy for you.

I know what else makes you nervous.

- What? - Me.

Because you care.

Have you ever done it before?

What? Yeah.

Have you?

- No you haven't. - I know.

It's okay. I have like one time before.

- With who? - Does it matter?

Do you want to?

Okay.

Huh.

Oh, wait. I don't have a condom.

Don't worry. I haven't got my period in like eight months.

- Are you pregnant? - What the fuck?

- No. - I, I mean,

you don't, you don't look it.

Ah, just take your shit off.

Okay. Go ahead.

Hey, bud.

Did I wake you?

- Sorry. - Will?

Did I do something wrong?

What the fuck?

I'm sorry, I...

Ah. Can you just fucking leave?

Located in the rear end of the stadium.

Thank you to our friends in...

- How we feeling fellas? - Good, coach.

Good. Glad to hear it.

See how it goes today.

- Any advice, coach? - Run fast.

- Let's go, Pills! - Hey, papi!

Whoa, let's go!

Runners get set.

♪ It's on and it's on and it's on ♪

♪ Party every day, but sick of having fun ♪

♪ Party every day, but sick of having fun ♪

♪ Try to be yourself; I'll try to be myself ♪

♪ And party every day ♪

♪ Party every day, but sick of having fun ♪

♪ Party every day, but sick of having fun ♪

Yeah!

Yeah. Get it, baby boy.

Popped the ole race cherry!

- Not bad, Will. - Yeah?

46 out of 63.

Yeah, you'll be all right. Go ahead and cool it down.

- We'll see you in the van. - Yeah, I'll be right there.

Okay.

- You all right? - Ah, yeah.

I can't, um, seem to find my pants.

We've all been there. Did really great today.

- You don't have to lie to me. - Yeah, you're right.

You sucked ass.

Ah, I, I didn't know you were here.

I, ah, I was a bit late, but I had to take my dad's Jeep.

Um, I caught your finish though.

- No poster? - No poster.

Pretty sure you would've won out there today.

Yeah, probably.

Um, I am really sorry for last night.

Ah, I didn't mean to freak you out like that.

Let's go, Pills!

I gotta go. I think coach would actually leave me here.

Yeah, yeah. Probably would.

Um, can I see you tonight?

Like maybe when you're back and...?

Oh, I, um, I, I, I can't. We have P, P and P Night.

- Yeah. - I don't know.

Spanks says it's mandatory.

Yeah. No worries.

Kiss her!

I gotta go. I'll, I'll see you later.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye, Will.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Fuck, fuck!

- Fuck me! - No, no, no!

Not the little guy!

- Ah, there they are! - Oh my God!

What the fuck are we doing?

What's that, Sauce?

- What is this? - Hey, Sauce.

You wanna run fast at states next week?

What, what does this have to do with anything?

This.

This has everything to do with it.

Hey, hey, Sauce. Let me ask you something.

When you think of West Penn XC, what's the very first word

that comes into the little egghead brain of yours?

- Uh. - Uh, uh, uh, drr.

- Toad? - Motherfucking greatness!

Hey, Sauce, you know what

it takes to achieve greatness?

And I didn't think so.

Greatness starts with tradition.

This, all of this right here, fellas.

This is tradition.

This is greatness.

Pretty stupid fucking tradition.

What'd you say, Sauce?

No, I didn't say anything, man.

Get the fuck out.

- What? - Get the fuck out!

Fucking faggot.

Pills, dropping a deuce.

No, I'm, um, I'm leaving.

What?

- I'm going home. - The fuck you are.

- Sit your ass back down. - No.

Pills, sit your ass down.

No. Fuck you, L.J.

What the hell's your problem?

You're being an asshole to Sauce.

What? You're mad that I kicked out your butt buddy?

I didn't realize you were trying to hook up with Sauce.

Sorry I cock-blocked you, gay boy.

Shut up.

Ah later, gay boy.

Don't kill yourself with a huge fucking dildo tonight.

Fuck!

What the fuck is your problem?

- I'm not fucking gay! - Dude, it's all right

if you are, all right?

Wouldn't surprise anyone here.

I fucked Robin.

Oh, no, no. I, I definitely believe that one, yeah.

- I did. - Hey, okay, man.

You're just fucking jealous.

Jea, ah, yeah.

Are, are you seeing this?

The the same fucking kid who literally tried

to commit suicide is saying I'd be jealous of him.

I mean, (laughs) this fucking kid.

Yeah, Toad, toss me my phone.

Hey man, let's just try to bring it back.

Yeah, phone!

- What are you doing? - Jealous.

Hey, what are you doing? That's not funny.

Oh, I'm just calling your girl Robin.

Gonna ask her how epic the sex is with Willy Sins over here.

- Stop, hang up. - Oh, it's ringing.

- It's ringing. - Dude, fucking hang up!

We Didn't do anything. Okay?

We didn't.

Gotcha!

I knew you were lying, gay boy.

Not lying. We, we almost did.

Oh, yeah, almost did it?

What, what'd you miss the hole or something?

My brain was all over the place, and, um,

she's going through her own shit,

and, ah, (sighs) I, I don't know.

It was depressing me. I, I felt bad for her.

You went soft on her.

No fucking way! You really are gay!

- Shut the fuck up. - Hey, someone get gay boy

over here some toppings for his soft serve.

It's not funny.

Look, ladies and gents, we got the original Kohr Bro

in the house tonight.

Give him a round of applause. Come on.

Yeah.

Calculator trick, every time.

Jesus! Fuck!

What is wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Rob? Hey, Robin.

- Will. - Who is it?

Don't worry, honey. It's will Davey.

Hey, Will. What's going on, bud?

What are you doing here?

Well, what?

- Don't fucking call me that. - Whoa, whoa, Will.

Why do you have that?

Why me?

What? What, what do you mean?

Will, Will, why do you have that?

Why me?

Will, what?

You really fucked me up.

Will, what?

I was like nine.

- Fucking nine! - You're not

- thinking straight. - What did you see in me?

I mean, what was it about me?

- You're being crazy, Will. - I'm not fucking crazy.

You're fucking weird.

All this shit is so fucked because of you!

That's not fair, Will.

We, we can we can talk this out, bud.

Will, you're not gonna shoot me.

Will.

Oh my God.

It doesn't fucking work.

I tested it the other day. You know?

I was gonna use it to blow my brains out,

but it doesn't fucking work.

It doesn't fucking work!

Fuck!

Oh my God, Andrew, what was that? Was that a gun?

Are you okay? I'll call the cops.

No, no! Just, it's nothing, it's okay, it's okay.

- What, what, what happened? - Just get in the house.

Get inside.

Are you bleeding?

You're worth it. You're worth it.

You're worth it. You're worth it.

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ But I was caught up, ah, in physical attraction ♪

♪ Ooh, but to my satisfaction ♪

♪ Baby you were more than just a phrase ♪

Hey, dude.

You're home early.

Did you have fun with the guys?

Yeah.

That's great.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Dad!

Dad!

Dad!

Hey, you've reached a girl.

If you're part of the problem, hang up right now.

If you're part of the solution, maybe just text instead.

This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.

The mailbox is full. I cannot...

Mm.

Your daughter's life.

The fact of the matter is that hormones,

emotion and menstruation

come right alongside her day to day struggles.

- There are bound to be - Hello?

Some situations, men just don't...

- This is Robin's father. - So when you don't know

the answers to your daughter's questions,

- Uh-huh. - Look for them.

She's not there?

Like this guy's from another planet.

Hey, what is that?

No, no. You're gonna show me what you were looking at.

- It's nothing, man. - Is it Tattle?

Why were you looking at me? Is it about me?

Yeah, but, but it wasn't us though. I swear.

Dude, that's my phone.

Oh, fuck. Not again.

It's the king

- of soft-serve! - Fro-Yo Baggins.

Hey, it's gay boy.

Pills, dude! What the actual fuck is going on?

I'm sorry. I, I'm sorry.

O.J., I'm sorry. Are you okay?

I'm sorry. I, I shouldn't have done that.

You hit like a lame bitch.

How's it look?

Ah, God, you're, it's fucking broken.

Jizz, we're gonna need a tampon.

Grab my phone. I need a pic of this.

So sorry, man.

Nah, I definitely deserved that.

Fuck. Sorry about everything I said, man.

I love the shit out of you, brother.

I love you too, man.

Hey, Sauce. You want your shot now too?

No.

Dude, I would not fuck with pills.

Freaking Superman punched your ass, Spanks.

Hey, how about my iron chin, though?

- I took that shit like champ. - No way, dude.

Pills rocked your ass.

Hey, would you, um, mind deleting

that thing you wrote on Tattle?

Dude, it wasn't even me.

Uh, that's, that's my bad dude.

I'll, ah, I'll delete that when we get back.

Fuck you, Toad.

- Ooh, whoa! - Get you!

Robi?

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

Oh. You're okay.

Okay. You're gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay. Yes.

It's okay. It's okay.

Okay. Okay.

She's gonna be, be okay.

Gonna be okay.

Be okay, she's gonna be okay.

Hey, you've reached your girl.

If you're part of the problem, hang up right now.

If you're part of the solution, maybe just text instead.

This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.

Hey, you've reached your girl.

If you're part of the problem, hang up right now.

If you're part of the solution, maybe just text instead.

This isn't 2001. Okay, peace.

It's all in the neck. That's the thing about steak.

- It's not soft, it's rrr! - Hey, you've reached

your girl.

If you're part of the problem, hang up right now.

If you're part of the solution,

maybe just text instead.

This isn't 2001.

So instead of doing a traditional exam today,

I'm going to actually be doing a mock trial.

So half of you're going to be on the prosecution.

Excuse me.

Hello.

Will, right?

Have a seat from me, please.

Will, I'm Officer Rosen.

Coach Alexander tells me you were close with Robin Young.

Yes. Is she all right?

Will, um, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this,

but Robin took her own life yesterday morning.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry.

Is it okay if we ask you some questions about her?

Will? Will?

When was the last time you spoke with Robin?

Maybe we can give him a little time.

Have you had any contact with Robin

from the night before?

Will?

Hey, sit down!

Will.

- Will. - Will.

Will!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Will! - Look away!

I, I didn't shoot. She needs to know I regret it.

Ah, she needs to know!

Ah!

I'm fucking listening! Are you happy?

Okay.

♪ Oh, I can't breathe ♪

♪ There's no place in this world that is meant for me ♪

♪ I, I can't sleep. ♪

♪ But does it feel like God don't care about me ♪

♪ Does it feel like God don't care about me ♪

♪ Oh, Mom and Dad ♪

♪ Swear on my life I gave it all I had ♪

♪ Oh, still in my grieve ♪

♪ I ain't going to make it home today ♪

♪ No, I ain't gonna make it home today ♪

♪ I've got fire left in my veins ♪

♪ And part of my heart still feels things ♪

♪ Oh, with thoughts stealing my pain ♪

♪ And I'm gonna try this another day ♪

♪ I go most days, I don't understand ♪

♪ What it means to be a brother, what it means to be a man ♪

♪ Past six weeks, I spoke to my friends ♪

♪ It's probably my fault they think I'm dead ♪

♪ I lost my pride and I lost my way ♪

♪ This is all times that my father would say ♪

♪ Your life's so easy, it ain't worth a damn ♪

♪ Maybe one day I might understand ♪

♪ I've got fire left in my veins ♪

♪ Part of my heart still feels the same ♪

♪ Oh, if I feel it in my veins, yeah ♪

♪ I'm gonna try this another day ♪

♪ I met a young girl ♪

♪ Big brown eyes changed my whole world ♪

♪ Took a journey past the things we knew ♪

♪ Got us a dog and then we set our dues ♪

♪ Whispered to me, do you ever regret ♪

♪ Thinking about if we'd be better off dead ♪

♪ I was thinking the places you worried I'd see ♪

♪ But they would never be you and me ♪

♪ They would never be you and ♪