All language subtitles for I Live My Life - Hayatımı Yaşıyorum (1935)

[Theme music]

[Music continues]

* Sailing sailing over
the bounding main *

* There's many a...**

There's many-there's many...

What's all the quiet about?
What's happened?

The motors have stopped,
Mr. Bentley.

Motors have stopped?
What for? Pirates?

No, sir.
We've entered another port.

Naxos, a Greek island.

Oh, another port.
Good.

We'll have
a real day of bridge.

Instead of bouncing up
and down on the waves

So you can't see your cards.

The Greek islands
are very interesting, sir.

Why should I go
ashore today?

You haven't been
ashore any day, sir.

You forget, Grove.
I'm on this trip for my health.

Running up and down
a Greek island in the hot sun.

Besides, I'm 27,000
points behind.

I've heard you'd
finessed the doctor's

Queen of hearts
last night, sir.

Oh, you...

- Good morning, G.P.
- 'Good morning, good morning.'

(Mr. Bentley)
'Who is it?'

- 'The doctor, sir.'
- 'Oh, oh. Good morning.'

Radiogram came for you,
a little while ago.

I took the liberty
of opening it.

Yeah.

I see you've
committed yourself

Of $400,000 in that
McGranel's project.

You know, you said
you'd talk to me

Before you did
anything definite.

Oh, well, you're
so conservative.

You would've investigated
and hemmed and hawed.

And the first thing you know,
it'd been too late.

But supposing
you lose a 400,000.

What would
your mother-in-law say?

My... mother-in-law?

(Male #1)
'Yes, you remember her,
don't you? Mrs. Gage.'

Well, what do I care,
what she says?

I am, what I am.
The head of "Bentley and Gage."

She can't go on running
my life for me.

I wouldn't talk like that
in front of her picture.

Well...

Well, she can't hear me.
Can she?

$400,000, is a lot of money
to raise... if you lose it.

You'll have to go
and ask her for it.

Well, I won't lose it.

And keep that soap
out of my mouth.

You bit my finger, sir.

You know what'll happen,
don't you?

If you did have to go
and ask her for it.

She'd pay up, to save the honor
of "Bentley and Gage."

Then she'll send you
off to be

The head of the office
in Finland or some place.

Finland? What's Finland got
to do with the McGranel's deal?

Nobody's going to Finland.

Those phenomenal cards
you've been holding lately

Must have gone
to your head.

Go on out and start
a bridge game.

- I'll be out in a minute.
- Alright.

Soon as Grove decides
to finish shaving me.

I pass.

Two diamonds.

Two spades.

Two, no trump.

Pass.

Three, no trump.

Four spades.

(Male #2)
'Four, no trump.'

- I pass.
- Pass.

Five spades.

Double.

- I pass.
- Pass.

Re-double.

Pass.

- I pass.
- Pass.

What do you think, Grove?

With the greatest
of luck, sir.

You should go down six.

- Oh, you...
- Tea is served, Mr. Bentley.

Yes, but we don't want any tea.

Get outta here.

Yes, sir.

Where did you ever learn,
how to play bridge?

All I did was pass.

Yes, well, you haven't got
enough in your hand to pass.

- Good morning, everyone.
- Hello, Kay.

Good morning, father.

How did you sleep?

[Chuckles]
Oh, like a baby.

After that horrible bridge
last night.

You must have no more
conscience than a baby.

- Aw...
- Good morning, darling.

Morning.
You feel any better?

Oh, I feel fine.

Best part of these trips,
is when the boat stops.

Well, remember, I want you
to take care of yourself.

That is till after
we are married.

You mean, till after
we get that

Marriage settlement
from grandma.

Well, if you wanna make
a cad out of me, yes!

Don't you sometimes wonder
whether it is worth it.

For three million dollars,
I'd marry Grove.

Yes, I can understand that.

After all,
I'm marrying you.

[Laughing]

Wanna play one, Kay?

No, thanks.

I'm going out
to smell the harbor.

And if smells anything
like the other harbors

We've been to,
I'll be right back.

* Anchors away my lads...**

(Female #1)
'Oh, Miss Kay.
Miss Kay'

- What?
- Your shoes?

Would you have some bouillon,
Miss Kay?

Well, you know, Grove,
I was just thinking

I might establish history
by being

The first one on board
to go ashore.

After all I want my friends
to know I've been to Greece.

Your father's never been
ashore, Miss Kay.

But I'm sure all his friends
will know he's been in Greece.

Say, maybe I could bring back
a bag of Greek dirt.

I shall be very happy
to purchase some dirt

For you when I go
shopping, Miss Kay.

Are you're going
shopping, Grove?

I bought supplies of practically
all the Greek islands, Miss Kay.

Fun?

A bit uncomfortable, Miss Kay.

You see, donkeys
are the usual means

Of transportation
in the island.

Donkeys!

Oh, I haven't been
on one for years.

When do we start?

The Pinnacle says
that the island

Is pretty well stocked
with brigands, Miss Kay.

Oh, brigands, huh?

Yes, Miss Kay.

Well, brigands are men,
aren't they?

To the best of my knowledge,
Miss Kay.

Then I can handle.

Now you go and get your
nice, sensible hat and coat.

Oh, but I've got to
serve the bouillon, Miss Kay.

[Splash]

We're going to ride donkeys,
Grove.

Yes, Miss Kay.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

[Speaking in foreign language]

Oil, huh?

(Terence)
'Hey, throw me a sponge.'

'I want to wipe off her face.'

Oh, an accident.

Somebody buried alive?

Yes.

Really?

Hey, what's the matter
with you idiots? Why ain't...

- 'Max.'
- Yes, boss.

No visitors allowed,
you do know that.

She's not a visitor.
She just sorta walked in.

Mm, tell her to just
walk out again.

Then you better
get going, lady.

And what if I don't?

Well, I... just have to throw
you out, I guess.

Don't you put your
dirty hands on me.

As if anybody wanted
to stay here.

[Screaming]

Are you hurt?

[Giggling]
No.

I was just leaving.

You were sliding
the wrong way.

[Chuckles]

- Is she alright?
- 'Yes, boss. She alright'

- 'Wipe that dirt off her face.'
- 'Alright, boss.'

- 'Oh, is that a Greek statue?'
- Yes.

By Praxiteles I hope.

Uh... well.

That's the path out of the pit
and down to the village.

Oh, well, I think,
I'll stay here a little bit

If you don't mind.

Well, I'm afraid, I do mind.

- Oh, you do?
- Yes.

Didn't you pass a big sign

As you came into the camp?

Yes, but I'm not smoking.

It said, "Keep out of here,
no visitors allowed."

But...

Well, I'm not really a visitor.

Oh, a native, perhaps?

No, wrong again.

I'm from that yacht over there.

Oh... oh, well,
I beg your pardon.

Of course, being off a yacht
immediately entitles

You to the keys of the city.

Young lady, it makes no
difference to me, I assure you.

Whether you're off a yacht
or a canoe.

As a matter of fact,
I prefer a canoe.

There's only one thing
I dislike more than yachts.

And what's that?

Well, quite frankly

People off yachts.

Now, uh, would you mind
leaving my camp, please?

You're not that hospitable,
are you?

Well, this is not
an amusement park, you know?

Well, you might at least
show me the care and anxiety

You've shown that Greek
totem pole down there.

That totem pole has been down
there for about 2,000 years.

And I've spent the last
two years of my life

Studying, planning
and searching for it.

So if you don't mind by showing
it a little care and anxiety

I'll return to my work.

Max, get the young lady's mule.

- What mule?
- The young lady is leaving.

'What, uh...

Young lady's mule?

She ain't got one, boss.

Oh, but I must have.

Where did you tie your mule?

I didn't tie him.

I thought he'll just
hang around.

A mule doesn't
just hang around?

Alright, then what does he do?

I don't know.
I'm not a mule.

Certainly had me fooled.

Uh, we have
an extra one in camp.

No, sir boss,
we fresh out a mule.

Well, it looks
as if you'll return

To the village without
the benefit of mule.

[Chuckling]
But how?

Well, there's the path.

Max will show you the trail.

Oh, I walk, huh?

Thank you.

Well, show her the trail.
It'll save her half a mile walk.

Here, are you sure
you haven't got too much

'Weight on the base
down there?'

'Take it easy now.
Steady.'

Oh! Oo!

- Boss.
- Mmm?

She's down again.

[Kay groaning]

What's the matter now?

Hey, you steady?

- Steady.
- Oo!

I must have done something

To my ankle when I fell.

But you didn't land
on your ankle.

Oh, well, don't bother
about me. I'll manage... somehow.

Mmm, we'll have to get
you carried down somehow.

Max!

A bit undersized.
I'll tell one of the Greeks.

- Oh, no!
- 'Why? Anti Greek?'

(Kay)
'No, it's just these
particular men.'

They're-they're-they're dirty.

See, they might have
the same complaint about you.

You know, the trouble with you
is you're class conscious.

No, I'm not really, but...

No, please, I'd be scared.

Young lady, do you realize
I'm having more trouble

In getting rid of you,
than I had

In locating and digging up
that statue?

I'm so sorry.

Come on.

Don't touch anything
till I get back.

- Are you English?
- Irish.

- Where in Ireland?
- Belfast.

What happened
to your brogue?

I never had one.

I don't smoke a clay pipe.

And I don't sing tenor.

You're a fake Irishman.

Uh-huh. I think we'll rest
a while. I'm tired.

Sissy.

Sissy?

Oh, wait a minute now!
Hey!

Hey, put me down,
take it easy.

I was only kidding,
Oh, please!

Hey, listen,
please be careful, please.

You needn't take me
seriously, come on.

Sissy!

Alright, I'm a sissy.
But let's sit down.

[Laughing]

Oh!

You can put me down
on the grass if you want?

Uh, you don't bother me.

Well, I wouldn't mind
being down there.

Uh, sit still.
You're easier to lift that way.

- Oh!
- Oh!

[Chuckles]

Well! We better be getting on.

Ouch!

It's a mighty powerful grip
you've got there.

Ah, soft!

Like all people
with too much money.

You become mentally
and physically soft.

Thank you for carrying
me this far.

I think I can manage
by myself.

Ooh!

[Laughing]

(Kay)
'Which way is thewall
from here?'

Around that corner to the right
and straight ahead.

"Around that corner to the right
and straight ahead."

What do you say
we rest a minute?

Then make one final drive.

We rest?

- Thank you.
- Ha!

- You alright?
- Fine.

You know, it's really been sweet
of you to carry me this far.

I've enjoyed it very much.

You talk as if I weren't

Gonna carry you any further.

Well, as a matter of fact.

I think I can make it
nicely now by myself.

Thank you so much.

Bye.

[Laughing]

Ooh!

Ah, let me go.

[Chuckles]
Let me go!

Ah!

Let me go.

I was only joking.

Please, will you please
let me go.

Ah!

Here!

Now, there's the trail
and here you are

Back where you started from.

Now... walk!

[Bell dings]

[Waves gushing]

[Anchor chain screeching]

Captain...

Couldn't we, uh, head
for Greek island tomorrow?

But, we've been
to all of them.

Well, we can go to Naxos.

But... we're just leaving Naxos.

Look, I've just got to be
in Naxos tomorrow morning.

Couldn't we, uh, sort of, um...

Sail around all night
and then head back

For Naxos in the morning.

Now, you know
Mr. Bentley's orders, I can't...

Mr. Bentley doesn't know Naxos

From Jersey City,
really he doesn't.

I've just got to
be there, please.

You don't know,
how much I'd appreciate it.

- Oh, please.
- Miss Bentley.

- I can't...
- I knew you would.

Thank you so much.

No, but I...

Here we are in Naxos, Grove.

I find these Greek islands
very much alike, Miss Kay.

Oh, no-no-no, not Naxos.

See Naxos and die.

As one who has
no right to speak, Miss Kay.

I wouldn't go ashore.

Wouldn't you, Grove?

You see, your father's

In a highly
excitable condition.

So am I, Grove.
So am I.

[Speaking in foreign language]

How much?

[Speaking in foreign language]

I don't wanna buy him.

I ain't gonna sell him.

Skip it.

[Instrumental music]

Do you know that if I hadn't
seen you come in here

I would have had to go
all the way up that mountain.

- Why?
- To see you again.

If you wanted to cause trouble,
you're too late.

We've got the statue out.

No, I wanted
to apologize for acting

So childishly yesterday.

It was very silly of me.

Yes, it was.

Was I really so unforgivable?

You wouldn't understand,
being off a yacht.

Oh, but I'm not really.

Well, you didn't rise out
of the sea did you?

Like Aphrodite.

Well, in a way
I'm off the yacht.

You see,
I'm the owner's secretary.

Oh!

His, uh... his secretary?

Mmm-mm.

You're an uncommonly elegant
secretary.

Well, thank you.
Now, may I sit down?

Oh, yes.
Yes, please.

Here, you...
Wait a minute!

Oh.

Oh, I'm-I'm-I'm really
terribly sorry. I-I-I...

Oh, yeah.
That's alright, alright.

Here.
Here, sit on mine.

Go on, please.

Well... if you wish it.

But you did it.

Well, you wanted me to,
didn't you?

Yes.

- My name's Terrence O'Neill.
- Mine's Ann Morrison.

Well, let's have lunch together.

Waiter!

'Waiter.'

You shouldn't startle
the man that way.

- What does he want?
- He's the waiter.

But who waits on him?

Anybody who isn't busy
at the moment.

Um, well, do you've
any particular craving?

No, you order.
Something nice and Grecian.

Two roast beef.

Roast beef.

Since when is roast beef
a native dish?

Roast beef is a general term
on this island.

It might mean roast beef
or it might mean fish

Or vegetable plate or dog.

You'll tell me if it's dog,
won't you?

If I can, they'll fool
you sometimes.

Tell me something else,
will ya?

What?

Why should a man
want to become

An archeologist of all things?

No reason.
Digging is born in a man.

My mother wanted me to wear
a stiff collar and be a broker.

[Giggles]

Well, you're a long way

From where ever
the Irish Wall Street is.

I know.

Have you ever worked in an
office and worn stiff collar.

[Chuckles]
No.

Well, I've worked
in an office of course.

Well, I used to walk up and down
14 flights of stairs everyday.

Why? No elevator?

Or did walking give you
a sense of freedom?

That's right, I can't breathe
in an elevator.

Well, there I'd sit
in my office.

And there were four walls
around me

And one above and one below.

Well, I should hope so,
14 flights up.

And there I'd sit and my collar
would get tighter and tighter.

And the walls
were closing in on me.

And I'd sit and I'd sit
and sit and sit

Until one day I just
couldn't stand it anymore.

'And you know what I did?'

You stood up?

I screamed.

I yelled as loud
as I possibly could.

They tried to stop me
and I wouldn't.

So then they fired me.

'They thought I was
hopelessly batty.'

So do I?

And so do I?

But crazy or not.
Here I am and I'm happy.

I can go where I like,
do what I like

And what's more important

I can think what I like.

- Roast beef.
- Ah-ha!

Kinda stringy for roast beef,
isn't it?

Oh, I like mine that way.

Medium stringy.

[Radio static]

You know I've just
found out something.

What is it?

I'm the only sane person
on this whole island.

[Speaking in foreign language]

More roast beef?

He means he's got
another station.

Oh, hurray!

Let's dance?

Oh, no, thanks.

Why not?

Well, I'd rather not.

Do I revoke you?

Oh, no-no, it's alright.

I can't dance.

[Chuckles]
Oh, no. Really?

No, really?

But that sounds impossible.

Haven't you ever?

Well, when I was a kid
I used to do

A creditable highland fling

And I used to dance waltzes
with little girls.

This is a waltz.

I know.

Ah, come on.

Oh, well.
Alright.

Good.

[Instrumental music]

I'm afraid I'm stepping
all over you.

No, you're not, this is
a very bad dance floor

And the music
isn't much good.

In addition to which,
I have very big feet.

I've always had 'em.

Oh, one usually does.
But you're very graceful.

Thank you.

You know, I think
I like archeology.

Do you know anything about it?

I can learn.

[Laughing]

[Opera music]

[Kay sighs]

What a night?

I've known worse days, too.

Oh, much worse.

I was just thinking...

What about?

Centuries ago, there was
a man standing here

Who felt exactly
the same as I do.

His name was Pygmalion.

(Kay)
'Again?'

Pygmalion. He was
the bachelor God.

He hated mortal women.

He was afraid of them
and mistrusted them.

Hi, Pyg.

Hello.

You see, Pyg was a sculptor.

And it was pretty lonely
for him at times

Just sculpting
with nobody to love him.

I've known a lot of sculptors

And they didn't seem
to have so much trouble.

Well, he did.

One day he just couldn't
stand it any longer.

So he decided to create
the woman of his dreams.

Like all lonely men,
he used to dream a lot.

- And women.
- And women.

So he created the statue
of his perfect woman.

And he called her "Galatea."

Alright, so what? He only had
a lot of stone in his hands.

Yes, that was a drawback.

You see, she had no soul.

So she couldn't
ever love Pygmalion.

Aw, poor Pyg.

But one day he happened
to run into Venus.

The Goddess of Love.

And he told Venus
all his troubles.

And Venus told him to go home
and leave everything to her.

Ha, good ol' Venus.

So he went home
and when he got in

There was Galatia standing
exactly as he'd left her.

As she was looking at her...

Suddenly he thought
he saw one eye move.

Then the other.

And her lips moved.

And she smiled at him.

Then what happened?

She lived.
His dream came true.

Ann. I love you, Ann.

Do you, Terry?

Oh, I-I know
it sounds impossible

And insane and things
don't happen

That way but... I do.

Why, you're the nicest
archaeologist I've ever met.

I'm the happiest archaeologist
that ever lived.

- You know what?
- No what?

I love you.

I'm kinda happy tonight, too.

And tomorrow.

And every tomorrow to come.

I won't be here tomorrow.

Oh, but you can't leave me now.

You can stay in the village.

- No-no, I can't.
- I'll go with you to your boat.

I'll explain
to your employer.

I'll tell him, he can't have
Ann Morrison anymore.

- She's mine.
- Oh, I couldn't leave him.

Well, then, when and where
will I see you?

Well, if-if you could
come to New York.

Where in New York?

At the office at
Bentley and Gage.

Well, just, uh,
"Bentley and Gage, New York?"

[Chuckles]
Yes.

I really should be going.

Oh, you'll be a fine Galatea.

To run away just
when you've come to life.

(Grove)
'Miss Kay.'

'Oh, Miss Kay.'

What is it, Grove?
What's the matter?

I've been searching for you,
most desperately.

The yacht is leaving
at once for Naples.

We are hurrying to New York.

Is anything wrong with my...
With Mr. Bentley?

Mr. Bentley has received
a radiogram from Mrs. Gage.

She says his health
has improved sufficiently.

And he's to come home at once.

Alright.

I've got to go now.

Yes, I'll...

I'll go with you to your boat.

Mr. Piper and the doctor

Are also ashore
looking for you.

Thank you, Grove.

Now you better not.
It's easier this way.

You know, suddenly.

I suppose, and...

[Chuckles]

I'll see you in New York then.

What?
Oh, yes. Of course.

So long, Ann.

Goodbye, Terry.

[Clears throat]
If you pardon me
for saying so, Miss Kay.

Brigands are apparently not the
only danger in the Greek hills.

There's no real danger, Grove.

He seemed to be very
intense young man.

You don't suppose
he might follow you?

I hope he knows
better than that.

Anyhow, he couldn't find me.

I gave him the wrong name.

[Engine revving]

[Speaking in Greek]

- 'Hello, folks.'
- Terence.

- Terry!
- Hi.

- Hello, Betty. How are you?
- What brings you here?

Well, the boat brought me here,
and I brought the statue.

But I thought
that Max will...

No, I couldn't
trust Max

To take that statue
all the way to New York.

New York! Are you
going to New York?

Now, that makes sense.

Why the sudden change, Terry.

I thought New York
made you dizzy.

I won't mind being dizzy
this time

I'm going to New York
to get married.

Married? To whom?

- A girl of the yachts.
- What girl of what yacht?

Well, her name
is Ann Morrison.

She's secretary to Mr...
Who's this? Who owns it.

- The-the yacht I mean.
- Of course.

Uh, you've known
her for sometime, uh...

You know all about her?

I've known her for two days.

- Two days?
- Yeah.

I see. Very well,
you run get your ticket...

Alright.

Uh, Terry. You don't
have to get any tickets.

- You can use mine.
- What about you?

Well, there is no reason
of our both going.

Well, that's a waste of money.

Uh, don't you think
I'm going to New York

To take care of statues
and deliver lectures

And shake hands with
a board of trustees.

I'll be busy
getting married.

- Oh, I see no reason...
- I-I-I think he's right, Betty.

- You-you run along, Terry.
- Alright.

- Now, what deck you're in?
- Well, I'm...

- B deck, cabin 147.
- "B deck, cabin 147."

I'll tell you all about it
on the way across.

You'll be crazy about her!

Hmm, I'm sure I will.
"Crazy" is the word.

You will have to take care
of him, Betty.

What he doesn't know about women

Will fill the archeological
files of the British Museum.

Yes, I guess so.

[Foghorn blaring]

- Sixty three.
- Excuse me, please. Excuse me.

- Oh!
- Beg your pardon.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

Going up.

[Clears throat]

Hello. I'd like to see
Miss Morrison.

I can't hear you.
What did you say?

[Clears throat]
Miss-Miss Ann Morrison.
I'd like to see her, please.

She's in with Mr. Bentley.

- Oh, in there.
- One minute please.

Take your seat.
She'll be out soon.

Oh... thanks.

Ah, you have a nice collection
of factory pictures.

They are all Gage and Bentley's
subsidiaries.

Is she another subsidiary?

(Male #3)
'She's Mr. Bentley's
mother in law.'

'Mrs. O.H.B. Gage.
She controls everything.'

Everything? Ha!
She looks it. Doesn't she?

This gentleman has been
looking for you.

- Do you want to speak to me?
- Uh, no, ma'am.

Didn't you say you want to
speak to Miss Morrison?

That's right.
That's what I said.

Well...

- Well...
- This is Miss Morrison.

[Chuckles]
I'm sorry, but it's not.

I'm Miss Morrison.

I mean Miss Ann Morrison.

I am Miss Ann Morrison.

Well, I'm very sorry.

But you see, I know
Miss Ann Morrison.

Wait a minute.

Is your name... Pyg?

Well, yes, uh...

And you're the one whose been
sending me all these wires?

Well...

I send them, yes.
But-but not to you!

Well, maybe you thought were
sending them for somebody else.

Well, I did, I...

Look, wha-wha...

When Mr. Bentley went out
on this trip

Was there a young lady with him?

Yes, his daughter
was with him.

Oh, I see.

I can give you Miss Bentley's
home address.

No-no thank you.
Miss Bentley could've done that.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

(Mr. Bentley)
'You can never know
the beauty that is Greece'

Unless, uh,
of course you've been there.

It was my privilege
to spend sometime

On the island of Na-Na-Naxos

At the very time that
this statue was discovered.

I can only say that
it wasn't easy work

It was very hard.

But if the discovery
of this statue

Should bring one moments
happiness to anyone

One added shred of prestige to
The United States Of America

Then our efforts shall not
have been in vein.

[Crowd applauding]

Just a flash.
Just a moment. Just hold on.

How about one shaking hands
with the statue, Mr. Bentley?

- Why, sure.
- Oh, pardon me.

May I suggest Mr. O'Neill
be in the picture?

Oh, who? O'Brian?
Who's O'Brian?

Mr. O'Neill. He's the young man
who found the statue.

Oh! He found... by all means.
Where is he?

(Male #4)
'Uh, Terry, will you
step here a moment please?'

Mr. Bentley,
this is Terence O'Neill.

Oh, how do you do, young man?

Well, we, we certainly dug up
a good one, didn't we?

Oh, we certainly did.

Hey, tell me, do you prefer
a stratum of crystal

In limestone to one of nice?

Uh...

Oh... that depends.

Oh, on what?

Well... uh...

You see... I don't even know
what you're talking about.

Being on the museum board
of directors isn't my idea.

I married the job.

I don't know one statue
from an other

Except that some of them
have arms and some haven't.

I thought you didn't.

Well, I thought
you thought I didn't.

Despite Mr. O'Neill's
Praxiteles theory

There is a chance that the
statue even may be by Phidias.

Bi-phidias? You mean
am-phidias, don't you?

Phidias was the name
of a great Greek sculptor.

Phidias who?

I-I, I beg your pardon.
I don't even know her last name.

The name is
undoubtedly Popocopulous.

- Papa what?
- You're expected at home, G.P.

Oh, why do I
have to go home now?

I'm very interested in this
young man. I wanna talk to him.

You come along with us,
Mr. O'Malley.

And let's have some cocktails.

Oh, thanks very much.
But, uh, I don't like cocktails.

Oh, he doesn't like cocktails.

Well, I wanna know you better.

You come along and tell me

All about this Phidias,
Papa, whatever it is

And why you think
she built this statue.

And what about the young lady?

Oh, I'm Betty Collins.

I'm Mr. O'Malley's associate.

I do like cocktails. But I have
to stay here with the statue.

- There's work to be done.
- We both have work to do.

And what's one man's work
is another man's pleasure.

Oh, it is? Well, I...

Well, Mr. Terry has work to do.
Perhaps some other time?

Oh, no. No, no.

Never put off
to some other time

What you can do this time.

Or something like that.
Come along, Mr. O'Toole.

Tell me. Do you really like
spading around? Come on.

Hey, come on up here.
There we are.

- Oh, hello.
- Oh, how do you do?

You two know each other?

Whilst making purchases at
Naxos, sir

I took the liberty of visiting
the archeological expedition.

Well, I wish
I had known that, Grove.

You could've made my speech
for me at the museum.

Is the, uh,
is the party still on?

Oh, there's still
a few guests left, sir.

Yeah. Yes, well, ask Miss Kay
to come into the library.

I want her to meet Mr. O'Toole.

Y-y-you want her
to meet Mr. O'Neill, sir...

That's what I said.
Stop making me repeat myself.

Grove's getting old,
you know.

Been in the family for almost,
I mean, too long.

This, uh, this is my library.

I've made
quite a collection of, uh...

Ha, you've a lot of books here.

Oh, yes. 4,000 volumes.

(Terry)
'You specialize in
any particular subject?'

(Mr. Bentley)
'Uh, oh...
I, do I specialize?'

(Male #1)
'Yes. There are
2,800 detective stories.'

'The rest are uncut.'

(Mr. Bentley)
'Oh, yes. I'm must get around to
cutting them one of these days.'

Oh, Kay. I want you to meet
a very important young man.

This is Mr. O'Toole.

Who discovered a statue that may
turn out to be by Phidipopolous.

This is my daughter, Kay.
She was with us at Naxos.

- How do you do, Miss Bentley?
- Hello.

This is the kind of fellow you
wanna know who'd do you good.

I mean, meet a fella
who does something.

Take him into your party and let
him meet some of your friends.

Oh! Yeah, my mistake. His name
is O'Neill. Terence O'Neill.

Oh, thank you.

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, there you are, Kay. Goodbye.
And we've had a lovely time.

Goodbye, Loris.
Thank you so much for coming.

- Mr. O'Neill, Loris.
- How do you do?

Mr. O'Neill is a
very well known archeologist.

Mr. O'Neill,
the arch-cheologist.

Why his name's in the papers.

You found one of those new
Egyptian tombs or something.

- Didn't you?
- Oh, no. It was a statue.

- And I found it in Greece.
- Of course. How silly of me.

But how amazing of you.
Don't you think so?

Oh, yes. Amazing.

How do you ever find these
statues?

You don't just dig at random,
do you?

Oh, no. There's very little
guess work about it.

Before any digging can be done,
there must be months and perhaps

Years of historical
and geographical research.

Oh, then there are all sorts of
elements to consider.

The season of the year
and the geological strat...

Oh, how terribly fascinating.
But interesting.

- Goodbye, Kay.
- Goodbye, darling.

And thanks, Mr. O'Neill,
it's been lovely

Learning all about archeology.

Come, Jimmy.
We're going to be late.

- Goodbye, Kay.
- Goodbye.

- 'Hello darling.'
- Hello.

Well, here's old medicine man,
Gene.

With his Doctor Piper's
Indian remedy for man and beast.

Gene, this is Mr. O'Neill.
Mr. O'Neill, Mr. Piper.

- Have a drink?
- Oh, no. Thanks.

- Just had your tonsils out?
- No, thanks. I don't want one.

Mr. O'Neill is an archeologist.
Father met him at the museum.

Oh, really? That's fine.

Kay, dear. I'm afraid
we'll have to be leaving.

Mr. O'Neill, may I present
Miss Wilcox, Mr. Ashum, Miss Lee

Miss Ellis, Mr. Waterbay Junior
and Mrs. Waterbay Junior.

Gracious.
What strong hands the man has.

Yes. Hasn't he?

- Polo?
- I beg your pardon.

He means you get those hands
from handling a polo mallet.

Oh, no.
I got it from handling a shovel.

A shovel? Does the man
think he's a farmer.

- What man?
- Why, you of course.

Oh, I see.
You kept referring to a man.

I didn't quite know
who you meant.

It's just a way
of talking, Mr. O'Neill.

I see.
A peculiar way of talking.

When you get right down to it,
life itself is most peculiar.

- Come, Junior.
- I'll see you.

Nice crowd.

Uh, yes. Lot of people here.

Oh, not many, uh,
most of them have left.

- Oh, is that so?
- Yes, sir.

- Most of them have gone home.
- Huh...

Still a lot left though.

And not many are they.

Uh, pardon me.

Would you like to meet
some more of my friends?

I'd enjoy that tremendously.
Thank you.

I was afraid of that.

Now that, was in the fourth.

So here we were
in the fifth chucker.

Only the fifth, mind you.
And I had run out of ponies.

I felt an awful beggar.
Asking Leibowitz for one of his.

Polo's getting to be
almost like golf.

The first thing you know, there
will be public playing fields.

Oh, it's getting so,
anyone with eight or ten ponies

Can play the game now.

Don't you think so, Mr. O'Neill?

Oh, I don't think you need fear
of a crowding, Miss Bentley.

There are millions of people
in this country

Who if they had one pony,
they'd eat it.

I-I-I beg your pardon.

Oh, that's alright.

Some people over here
you haven't met.

Did he say e-eat a pony?

(Female #2)
'Hey, Vy.'

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, it's already getting late.

- You coming my way, O'Neill?
- No, thank you.

My car's outside. I'd be glad
to give you a lift...

No, thank you.

Well, good afternoon.

[Off-key piano music]

Been in New York long?

- Since yesterday.
- Staying on?

No. Going back on the same boat.
The day after tomorrow.

Nice on the ocean
this time of the year.

Yes.

I don't know anything
quite as sad looking

As an old piece of Caviar.

Why did you lie to me in Naxos?

Have I been properly sworn in?

Why did you lie to me?

I don't know.

Maybe because I was lonely...

It was a terrific moon
or something like that.

Something like that is a...
pretty cheap reason, isn't it?

Well, that fits right in
with what you think

Of all of us, doesn't it?

People with too much money
for their own good.

- Yes, it does.
- Yes, I know it does.

You took great pain as to
remind me of it on that island.

Alright, I'll remind you
about it now.

I kissed you because... well,
because I wanted to kiss you.

Maybe it was on account
of the moon and...

Maybe it was for love.
So I don't know. I've forgotten.

There it was I kissed you.

But I didn't kiss you with a
marriage license in my pocket.

I told you I was Ann Morrison
because I...

Well I thought
it was a cute idea.

But I didn't say
it was till death do us apart.

That was your own idea.
So you work it out.

- And that's all there is?
- There isn't anymore.

It's been nice seeing you.

Tell me. Have you ever been
punched right in the nose?

- No.
- Sit down.

- Did you ring, Miss Kay?
- I certainly did...

- Sit down! No one rang.
- Thank you, sir.

I came all the way
from Greece to see you.

I was an idiot. Frankly you're
not worth walking from here to...

Then why don't you
walk right out of here...

Sit down!

You know, you're probably
not an unusual type.

I just saw a whole room full
of people like you

And I guess there must be
thousands more in the world.

Selfish, thoughtless,
spoiled, worthless people

Without a thought
to the world around them...

I will not sit here
an other moment.

And whatever happens
to interest them at the moment.

Well, I guess there must be
thousands of people

Like me in the world too.

Ordinary people.
Without much wit.

Silly enough to be
honest with each other.

They might feel sorry
of having done what you've done.

They might even apologize.

Oh, but you think you're right.

That's why it's silly
for me to talk.

I'm not angry,
I'm very thankful

It happened this way
and this quickly.

It's alright.
I can show myself out.

[Door closes]

Grove!

Yes, Miss Kay.

Has Mr. O'Neill left?

Yes, Miss Kay.

He came all the way
from Greece just to see me.

So I imagined, Miss Kay.

He's a very nice young man,
isn't he?

Exceedingly nice, Miss Kay.

And I'm an exceedingly
nasty young woman.

Go ahead.
Say it out loud, Grove.

(Grove)
'Yes, Miss Kay.'

We'll be closin' in a few
minutes, miss.

Oh, but I've come to hear
the lecture by Mr. O'Neill.

It must be nearly over.

Good. Then I'll hear the finale.

Shhh, shhh.

I'm sorry, miss,
but nobody's allowed to go in

While the lecture's on.

But I must see Mr. O'Neill.

Orders are orders.

I'm Miss Kay Bentley.

Oh, are ya?
Well, I'm Patrick Oshe.

And nevertheless nobody's
allowed to go

In there while the lecture's on.

My father is G.P. Bentley.
He's a trustee of this museum.

Oh, is he now?
Your father is...

Well, let me tell you somethin'
about my father. My father's a...

Oh, a trustee
did you say he was?

- I did.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

Wait a minute, please.

[Indistinct chatter]

Miss Bentley, here.

- Miss Bentley?
- Yes.

- I'll watch the door, Mr. Oshe.
- Yes, madam.

I'm Betty Collins.
Mr. O'Neill's associate.

Mr. O'Neill's
in the middle of his lecture.

I'd like to go in.

Well, come in.
Please be as quiet as possible.

That we can be definite
about Praxiteles.

And it is
gratifying historically.

To realize how much is due
to Praxiteles in determining

The tone and character of all
Athenian art in the 4th century.

[Applause]

[Indistinct chatter]

Have you found any evidence
of a possible theatre?

Uh, not so far. I think
we're a little early for that.

Our temple seems to predate
Aeschylus but...

Aeschylus by, um... by-by
several hundred years.

Where will you be able to
address my seminar class

Next Friday, Mr. O'Neill?

I'm very sorry,
Professor Douglas.

I'm leaving for Greece tomorrow.

Oh, that's too bad.
Won't you reconsider that?

I'm having a archeological
symposium next week

And I'd rather
counted on your being with us.

I'm sorry. Thank you. But I'm
afraid I have to get back.

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, Betty. Wait a minute.
I'll see you home.

No. Thanks very much but
I'm leaving with Doctor Hess.

I've some work to do.
Good day.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Well...

Even worthless people turn dull
enough to apologize sometimes.

I've come to say I'm sorry.

For what?

Well, for the way I've acted.

For the way I've talked
and for the way I am.

I can't help any of them.

Please don't think I'm being
melodramatic. I'm not.

Everything I say makes sense.

You see,
ever since I was six weeks old

I've had what I wanted.

(Kay)
'The only creative work
I've ever done is'

To think up things to want.

And now I want something
I can't have.

I wanna know what it feels like
to come all the way

'From Greece
just to see someone.'

But I won't.

Maybe it's because I'm not
worth walking to the corner

'For myself.'

And when you get back to Naxos...

Just don't remember me.

That's all.

I believe you meant
what you just said.

(Kay)
'I do.'

Then why not
do something about it.

- I can't.
- What do you mean you can't?

I just can't.
That's the way I am.

Oh, stop talking like that.
It's so weak.

I know I'm a spoiled little brat
but can't do anything about it.

You mean you won't?

Alright, then.
Maybe that is what I mean.

But you just said you wanted to.

I said nothing of the kind.
I merely told you what I am.

Well, stop being what you are.

All those pretty words
don't mean anything.

All this stuff about

"I am what I am and
I can't do anything about it"

Doesn't fool me for a minute.

I assure you I am not
trying to fool you for a minute.

And I haven't the slightest
desire to make you think

Better or worse of me.

Then why did you come here?

Must have been something
I ate for supper last night.

- No doubt. Goodbye.
- Goodbye!

- For the last time I hope.
- You can count on that!

- I intend to!
- Good!

A fine mess
you turned out to be.

Just a big lump of rock.

This is terribly embarrassing.

I'm locked in.
I-I can't find my way out.

They leave a side door open.

If you'll, uh... if you'll
follow me, I'll take you to it.

I suppose you're hurt.

I am not. Not a bit.

You love me, Kay.

- Stop being silly.
- I have stopped.

And it's about time
you stopped too.

Terry, the mere factor we're
male and female isn't enough.

We're not a couple of stray
animals. We're different breeds.

(Kay)
'Think differently.
Act differently.'

'There isn't anything
we have in common. '

That's the way
it would always be.

One of us would be wrong
all the time.

But all that is no reason.

Well, uh, there is no reason.

I can't give you a reason
why one of these mummies

Won't toe dance...

Only it just can't happen and...

I don't love you simply because
I don't love you, that's all.

I was very nasty too you
and I've just apologized now...

How can you possibly gather
from that that I love you?

Very easily.

Listen. You're tall and handsome
and have a very nice smile.

You dance pretty badly and
your clothes barely cover you.

And you're an archeologist.

Alright, we could talk about
archeology for one night and...

And we could play two handed
bridge for a while, but...

But you don't like
my friends.

Y-you don't speak their language
and you don't do

What ever it is they do and...

[Gasps]

I've told you over
and over again.

I-it's no use.
I just... don't love you.

And you were tellin' me
it was the mummies

Doin' all the talkin'. Huh.

Well, it's all settled.

I saw your grandmother
and she was wonderful.

When the clan gathers
at the house in Connecticut

For Christmas
the news of the marriage

Will be announced
to an anxious world.

Holy matrimony to follow
shortly thereafter.

How short is shortly thereafter?

Or are you giving me
a surprise wedding?

We'll give you time to get your
hair done and maybe a facial.

That's mighty decent
of both you and grandma.

How 'bout Grove?
Have you checked with him?

He might have an idea
on whether the living room

Should be done
in black or white.

Oh, Kay.
Say, what is this?

Are you taking the entire
junior league to the Opera ball?

No. Terry O'Neill's
going with us.

Terry O'Neill?

Oh, the big,
the big statue man from Ireland.

Yeah, but, Kay,
we're going to the Opera ball.

They allow Irish men
in the opera house.

Probably start digging up
the orchestra pit.

- 'Hi. Hello.'
- 'Hello, Betty. Where's Terry?'

He's out by the full length
mirror in the hall.

He fascinates himself.

Betty Collins, Gene Piper.

- How do you do?
- How do you do?

(Terry)
'Ahem!'

And just then, in walked with
the best dress, men should wear.

Your lapels are too long.

Where did you
have that suit made?

My London tailor made this.

Oh, and where were you
at the time?

Uh, also your trousers
are not supposed to

Break over the in-step.

How would you know?

Your American tailor told me.

He also said that it was
a pleasure to make trousers

For the man
who didn't have any hips.

How do you do it? Diet?

Polo. Hardly a day passes I
don't play my 18 holes of Polo.

You see, you don't
have to make any sense

If you don't have any hips.

Oh, this is the first girdle
I've worn since my junior prom

And it's killing me.

- Hello there, Mr. O'Toole.
- O'Neill.

Of course, O'Neill.
And Miss Collin.

- Collins.
- Yes. That's what I said.

Oh, you're joking.

Well, are we all going together?

- Yes.
- That's fine. Let's get going.

I don't believe
Betty and Terry know the doctor.

We met in the museum. In fact
we're almost old friends.

'We just missed
meeting at Naxos, didn't we?'

- 'Naxos?'
- Yes.

Mr. O'Neill and Kay
became great friends at Naxos.

Well, I never saw you
ashore in Naxos doctor.

Well, what's all this nonsense?

We only spent one day at Naxos.

Two days,
the captain became confused

'And turned back to Naxos
the day after we left it.'

Two days? I never knew
we spent two days in Naxos.

Shall we, uh?

Why, Terry and I had
two years at Naxos.

Is there anything you wanna tell
me about what happened in Naxos?

Well, if you really wanna know,
I met him the first day

And decided I wanted to see him
again, so I went back.

Then he came to
New York after me.

And is he gonna get
what he came after?

I don't know.
What do you think?

Do you love him?

Well, I must.

But how do you know
when you're really in love?

Well, the day after I met your
mother, I broke out on a rash.

Still I don't imagine
that holds good for everybody.

Have you ever noticed how
he hasn't got any hips at all?

Huh? Yes. Well, uh, what about
Gene and your grandmother?

Darling, if they
really love each other

Who am I to stand in their way?

You mean you really
feel that way about it?

Yeah, but suppose the old lady
says nothing doing...

I mean, no O'Toole's
in the family. What then?

I don't know.

He hasn't got a thing
to his name but that statue.

Yeah.
That doesn't belong to him.

I know it doesn't.

I suppose
if I really loved him I...

I'd donate all of my money
to the relief of the

Frostbitten second baseman and...

Spend the rest of my life
in a tent cleaning arrowheads.

Well, suppose you make up your
mind whether you love him.

And if you do,
you oughta have him.

And as far as the money is
concerned, I can help.

I mean, maybe a little hat
at Eastertime and...

And an electric toaster to
keep you away from the stove.

Oh, you're a sweet soul.

Yes, well, it took you
over 20 years

To find out
what I've known all my life.

[Orchestra music]

Kidnapping is now
a federal offense.

I don't like your attitude, Kay.

- Alright.
- Alright what?

Alright,
you don't like my attitude.

I didn't intend
starting a vaudeville routine.

I merely meant to suggest a
lil' more consideration for me.

After all, Gene,
this is no place

To discuss our immortal souls.

[Knock on door]
Come in.

Miss Bentley and Mr. Piper.

We're ready for you
to start the ball now.

- Will you come down?
- Yes. In just a moment.

So that's how you
feel about it, huh?

Roughly, yes.

I suppose you know that
you and that gravedigger

Are making us
both look kind of silly.

- To whom?
- Well, to everybody.

How would I look
getting the go by for a guy

With no hips and baggy pants?

If you mean the man with
the non breaking trousers

And the correct lapels.

Say you might look kinda...

Well, suppose you take
those correct lapels

And open the ball with him.

Gene, you've had your
idea for the week.

- Terry?
- Hello.

Come on. You and I
are gonna open the ball.

Fine. What do we do?
Press a button?

No silly. We dance.

Oh-ho! You oughta know
better than that.

But it's a waltz.

Well, why didn't you
say so before?

Well, that's something.

I thought you and Kay
were opening the ball.

Well, we, uh,
we changed our minds.

Hmm. You're doing just fine.
I can see that.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Well, you scared?
- Kind of.

It'd be a lot easier if say

Five more couples would start
this dance with us.

Oh, now, darling.
Don't go upsetting tradition.

I'm going to upset
plenty of tradition

When I fall right on my rear.
Look at this dance.

You'll be the
talk of the evening.

That's what I'm afraid of.

[Orchestra music]

Well, hang on. Here we go.

- I-I'm gonna get fancy.
- Oh, Terry.

I never saw a handsome
looking couple in my life.

They've got
everything on the floor beaten.

They're dancing,
I should say

Could stand
a little more practice.

Well, they'll get
plenty of time to practice.

- Can you keep a secret?
- I think I know it.

About how she might marry him?

- What do you think?
- You really wanna know?

Of course I wanna know
what you think about anything.

I suppose you read the financial
page in tonight's paper.

No, I didn't see it.
What's that about the...

That McGranel's deal...

Which you were so sure off
on the boat fell through.

They're gonna want
that $400,000 very very soon.

Oh...

My mother-in-law...

She's a cinch to send me to

Finland or Iceland or somewhere.

Can't you do something?

Well, I did have a plan,
it depended on

Kay marrying Gene Piper.

They tell me
it gets pretty cold in Finland.

I think maybe I'll go to Spain.

You know, don't you, that you
could probably persuade

Kay to marry Gene Piper?

Yes, I know.

I'll go to Spain.

G.P., there are moment when I
think I've underestimated you.

Yeah?

G.P., leap out of that chair
and come and dance with me.

There won't be
another waltz for half an hour.

I just left Terry
with three dowagers.

He's telling them how he
got such nice strong hands.

I expect the rash at any moment
now. Come on. Let's dance.

No, no.
No dancing for me tonight.

- I'm over the age limit.
- Oh, but you promised me.

Yes, I know, but, I-I, don't
feel like dancing tonight.

Darling, don't you feel well?

Oh, I've never felt better
in my life.

- Maybe later, huh?
- Yes. Maybe later.

What's it all about?

Kay, do you think you're being
quite fair to Gene?

That has nothing to do with my
father. What's wrong with him?

O'Neill, after all,
hasn't a penny.

Dad will help.

Enough say for
a townhouse and a country house

And, uh, two, three cars?

Probably. But you're still
not answering my question.

Your father
can't help you a bit.

He's in very serious
financial trouble.

But that's impossible.

To say Bentley and Gage
is in trouble

Is like saying
the Rock of Gibraltar is afloat.

Unfortunately this has nothing
to do with Bentley and Gage.

He's been speculating privately.

And has lost
a tremendous amount of money.

You understand of course
that he can't borrow it openly.

And you must also realize
what the attitude

Of your grandmother would be.

Well, I-isn't there
anything we can do?

I could think of
only one way out.

I thought that if you could, uh,
announce your engagement to Gene

At your grandmother's house.
On Christmas Day...

We could appropriate enough of

Your marriage settlement
in time.

Gene without knowing
why he was happy

To make any
financial arrangement.

[Orchestra music]

You know, I've been thinking...

You're getting to look
more like your mother everyday.

Why aren't you dancing?

See, dad,
do you remember tonight

Before we left to the Opera ball

We talked about Terry.

Yes. Of course I do.

You said if I loved him
and wanted him to marry him that

You thought it was a swell idea
and that you'd help

Financially, I mean.

Oh, yes.
I know but I mean, I...

I'm afraid
I won't be able to help much.

I'm in a rather
tight spot myself just now.

You'll have to make up your mind
whether you want him

Money or no money.

Well, that's just it.
I... I don't know really.

When I dance with him, nothing
else seems to matter, but...

Well, a girl can't be dancing
all the time, can she?

No.

I don't think
grandma'll have to worry about

Having an O'Neill in the family.

Hmm-mm.

[Mellow music]

He doesn't have
a twin brother, has he?

Kay, some people
have all the luck.

- Hello, Kay.
- Congratulations, Kay.

[Indistinct chatter]

(Female #3)
'Mr. O'Neill is
an archeologist.'

Aren't you Mr. O'Neill.
Of course you are.

I met him at Kay's party.

- E-excuse me, I-I think I...
- What...

Oh, quick.
Get me away from here.

They're after me.

You know, I was just thinking
I'm a great fool

To been travelling in big world
world hunting for fossils.

There are more fine specimens
in this opera house tonight

Than there are
in all of Egypt.

- Oh! We must go dancing often.
- Yes.

You might tackle a rumba
while I'm gone.

- Gone?
- Didn't I tell you?

I'm leaving for Connecticut
tomorrow night.

- Be there for Christmas.
- Connecticut?

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yes, yes. I heard.

Your grandmothers house
or somethin', isn't it?

Yes.

My engagement to Gene is being
announced on Christmas Day.

[Chuckles]

I wish I were going to be there.

What?

To see your grandmothers face,
when you don't.

But I am.

If you are joking,
you're not being very funny.

I'm not joking.

I don't see what all
the fuss is about.

You knew all along
that Gene and I were engaged.

We've had a lot of fun together

But that's about
all that amounted too.

- You know that I love you.
- I asked you not to.

- But you told me you love me.
- Oh, no. I didn't.

Oh, what do you want?
An acquittal on a technicality.

Of course you love me.
You gave me every indication.

Listen, this is a dance floor.
Not Madison Square Garden.

I told you in that museum

Exactly the way
matter stood between us.

The way they had to stand.

I wanted to quit,
but you wouldn't let me.

See, what kick you've got.

You've done alright by yourself.

You've met the right people
in the right places.

Your lapels are sensation.

Even your hips got
honorable mention.

Well...

Haven't you have
anything to say?

Uh... nothing
you would understand.

Pardon me.

* Silent night *

* Holy night *

* All is calm *

* All is bright *

* Round yon virgin...*

Mrs. Gage says
"You're late," sir.

Oh, yes.
Well, the blizzard. We...

Wash out on the way.
I had take a detour.

Mrs. Gage says,
"So did everyone else," sir.

Mrs. Gage says,
"That's no excuse at all," sir.

Oh, well, I'm sorry. I...

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace *

* Silent night *

* Holy night *

* All is calm *

* All is bright *

* Holy infant *

* So tender and mild *

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace *

* Sleep in *

* Heavenly *

* Peace **

[Indistinct chatter]

Very good, G.P.,
you're voice is getting lower.

- Yes! Well, I'm a year older.
- Yeah.

[Laughing]

Ahem!

Mrs. Gage says, "You're all
to go into dinner now."

Quietly!

'And the breakfast
will be served'

'From 7:00 to 7:30
in the morning.'

Mrs. Gage says,
"Goodnight to you all."

You go ahead, Gene,
I don't want any dinner.

- Aren't you feeling well?
- Not very.

I think you oughta
eat something.

But I don't want anything.

Do you think, I mean,
does she look alright to you?

I wouldn't worry.

There are symptoms
to impending marriage

Just as there are
to any other disease.

Oh, just nervous then.
That's what you think?

That's all.
By the way, G.P.

Your nerves must be
pretty good these days.

Now, this marriage clears things
up so beautifully.

Well, oh, yes.
Sure. Fine.

Say, you go into dinner.
I'll be in a minute.

Alright.

(Kay)
'Who is it?'

It's only me.
Your old father.

'Oh, come in.'

- 'Hello.'
- Hello.

'I noticed you didn't
go into dinner'

And I thought perhaps you might
not be feeling so good.

Me? I feels swell.
Nothing ever happens to me.

[Chuckles]
A little nervous about the
engagement business tomorrow.

- Is that it?
- I guess so.

You see, it's the first time
I'm ever being engaged

Right out in public
and everything.

Yeah, all in all though

You feel pretty happy
about tomorrow, don't you?

- Certainly.
- It's what you want, isn't it?

Of course it is.

[Chuckles]

You know, you asked me once how
to tell whether you were in love

And I told you that
"I broke out in a rash."

Your complexion
looks okay to me.

Well, I don't think it works
with me that way. It, uh...

I just kind of feeling
numb all over.

[Laughing]
I've heard of that too.

Tell me... how did you happen
to give that Irishman the air?

What?

The Irishman, O'Tolle.

Oh, you mean Terence O'Neill.

[Chuckles]
Yes.

Well, perhaps, he was
just another Irishman.

After all I had my life,
and he had his

And I just couldn't see any way
of combining the two of them.

And I think too,
he probably bored me a bit.

Well, I figured
something like that.

[Sighs]

He's a nice kid, though.

But he hasn't got
what Gene's got.

'Nothing like it.'

Not half?

'Less than that.'

[Chuckles]
Sure.

Well, I guess, I'll be
going down to dinner.

You're sure you're happy
about the way things are now?

Of course I am.

[Chuckles]

Thenl guess everybody is happy.

I've got something to be

Specially happy
about today, too.

Have you really? What?

I just managed to clear up
a terrific debt

That I had this afternoon.

'I was $400,000 in a hole'

'And I didn't know
where it was coming from.'

This afternoon,
I cleared it up just like that.

- Well, goodnight, kid.
- Wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.

You've got rid
of a $400,000 debt.

[Chuckles]
Got rid of it for good.

The only $400,000 debt you had.

Say... how many debts like that
do you think a man can have?

Oh, darling.

[Laughing]

Oh, well.
What brought this on?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

But isn't it wonderful not to
have a care in the world.

[Chuckles]
Isn't it?

Oh!

[Dialing phone]

Operator, I want to speak
to New York City

Mr. Terence O'Neill,
at Atwater 90186.

Yes, I'll wait.

[Telephone ringing]

Merry Christmas.

[Ringing continues]

Hello.

Yes, this is Terry.
Who's calling?

This is Kay.

I-I just called...

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.

Terry, can you forgive me
for the other night.

- You want to be forgiven?
- Oh, so much.

I forgive you.

Can you forget it?

- No.
- But I didn't mean it.

Well, that makes everything
just fine, doesn't it?

[Sighs]
Well, I-I did mean it

But there is nothing else
I could do.

I can't explain
over the telephone

But... please try to forget
what I did and what I said.

I love you, Terry,
and I'll always love you.

- Please, believe me.
- Kay, where are you?

Never mind where I am.
You stay where you are

I'll be in tomorrow.
Please, don't run away.

- 'Can you make it tonight?'
- No, I can't make it tonight.

Goodbye, darling.
I love you.

'Kay...

Kay. Hello, hello.
Hello, Kay. Kay?

[Bell ringing]

[Knock on door]

- Is this the Gage home?
- Yes.

- I told you this was it.
- Well, it had to be.

We tried every other house
in Connecticut.

I'm gonna punch that Grove
right in that nose

When I get back to New York.
Some directions he gave us.

But are you sure
you have the right house?

Nobody, but the family...

That's what we've come after.

Not the whole family,
but one of 'em.

My name is Terence O'Neill.
This is Miss Collins.

Hmm, I'd like to be left alone
with a hot water bottle

For about three weeks.

- I'm Brumbaugh.
- Oh, a phony name I've ever...

I come here for
Miss Kay Bentley. Is she up?

Miss Bentley is not up.
Mrs. Gage said...

Well, we'll wait until
she gets up.

- But Mrs. Gage...
- I didn't come here after her.

I came here after Miss Bentley.

Won't you sit down?

What are you doing
answering doors?

Remember, Brumbaugh,
I'm the butler here.

Well, here is your
chance to buttle.

There are two strange people
in the living room.

Impossible. I swept out
only half an hour ago.

Well, they swept in
about two minutes ago.

They've come for Miss Kay.

Mrs. Gage says
you're to throw them out.

Didn't you tell them
that Mrs. Gage

Receives no one,
but the family on Christmas Day?

I tried my best.

Well, don't they know
who Mrs. Gage is?

Well, it's conceivable
that somewhere in this world

There are people who know
who she is and don't care.

[Scoffs]
We shall say about that.

Mm.

- Who are you?
- My name is Gallup, sir.

People have
the funniest names

In Connecticut.

I've come for
Miss Kay Bentley.

Miss Bentley
is not at home, sir.

Oh, then I'll wait
until she is.

Mrs. Gage doesn't receive guests
on Christmas Day, sir.

Mrs. Gage does not receive
guests on Christmas Day, sir.

My name is O'Neill.
I've come for Miss Kay Bentley.

I've already met one woman
with a funny name

Who tried to put me out.

Now I meet you,
and you've got a funny name

And you try to put me out.

I will not be
put out of here

Until I go out
with Miss Kay Bentley.

We'll see, sir.

Oh, it's the
noisiest living room

'I ever tried to sleep in.'

[Kids panting]

Oh!

Uh, here. "You will leave this
house immediately!"

Those are
Mrs. Gage's instructions.

Oh, we're very glad
to leave with Kay.

Terry, what you doing here?

- Who's this, O'Malley?
- It's Mr. Bentley.

- Hi, you, G.P.
- Oh, it's you.

Kay had phoned me last night.
That's why I'm here.

- Where is she?
- That's impossible.

Oh, no, it isn't.
I'll get her for you.

G.P., are you
loosing your mind?

Yes, well I might
as well loose that too.

It never did me any good.

[Chuckles]

Mrs. Gage says,
she wishes to see you

Immediately in her room, sir.

Oh, me? Eh!

Well, what does she
wanna see me for?

She didn't say, sir.

She merely said,
you were to come right up.

Oh, dear.

Mrs. Gage said
"Immediately," sir.

Oh, she said I...

Oh, you're-you're not thinking

Of going into my mother-in-law
with me, are you?

I didn't come here after her.
Tell me where Kay is?

Her room is just...

Oh, dear, can't think
of a thing. Well, it's down...

Her room is over on the...
I don't know.

(Mrs. Gage)
'Gregoricus.
Where is that idiot?'

There she is.
Coming, mother.

Alright,
you better stay. I'll...

[Chuckles]
Well...

Good morning, mother.

Who are those lunatics
that won't leave my house?

Friends of yours?

Oh, no. I never saw them
before in my life.

Ever since I can remember,
Gregoricus.

You've been a worst liar
I ever knew.

- Oh, I...
- Of course you know them.

Don't you think I know
what's been going downstairs?

Who are they?

Well, they're
friends of Kay.

Oh, speak up.
I can't hear you.

I'm not gonna eat you.
Who are they?

I said they're...
"Friends of Kay's."

Ah! And you call
yourself a man.

- You buck-passer, you.
- Oh!

Heaven help you all if I die.

- Which isn't likely.
- No...

Eighty three descendants,
and all of them women

Except, some wear pants.
Am I right?

Well...
Yes, mother...

[Imitating Mr. Bentley]
Yes, mother. Yes, Mrs. Gage.

- Brumbaugh? Where is Brumbaugh?
- 'Yes, Mrs. Gage?'

Oh, why aren't you over here
when I want you?

Get Kay.

- Bring her here at once.
- Yes, Mrs. Gage.

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Gage.
Yes, mother."

[Woman screaming]

- 'Don't you dare come in here.'
- I beg your pardon.

Who is that man?

Which is Miss Bentley's room?

- 'Who's there?'
- It's I, Miss Kay.

It's Terence O'Neill.

- Terry!
- Oh!

Darling. Oh.

Oh, darling,
you shouldn't have come here.

Why? Aren't you
glad to see me?

Yes, of course I am,
but I was coming into you.

- Oh, I couldn't wait.
- But Connecticut...

I'd have come to Zanzibar.

My grandmother, Terry, uh,
she has very funny ideas.

Yes, well, we haven't time
to listen to it now.

You've been rescued
from the dragon

And we are on our way back
to our castle in Spain...

- Terry, my dress.
- 'Miss, Kay?'

Mrs. Gage would like
to see you right away.

There. You see.

No, I don't see. You were
going away anyway, weren't you?

Oh, but that was different.
She knows you're here now.

And If I run away with you,
she'll never forgive me.

- Ah, can we depend on that!
- 'She said right away, Kay.'

- Oh, Terry, we need her.
- For what?

To frighten our children.

Well, I suppose father
could help us some...

Oh! Are we going through that
all over again?

Oh, Kay, Kay darling.
Now, Listen.

Once and for all.
Do you love me?

Will you please listen to me?
We want to be happy, don't we?

- Do you love me?
- Of course I do.

Very well,
then we'll be happy.

But if she likes you and gives
us the marriage settlement

We can be even happier.

No, we won't. I don't wanna be
paid for marrying you.

Terry, it's customary.

She was going to make
Gene vice president

Of Bentley and Gage and,
well, now, I thought maybe...

She won't make me
vice president. I assure you.

If you think I'm gonna
be a vice president

And live like that bunch
downstairs, you're wrong.

I wouldn't kowtow
to that old witch

For one bent penny!

No... you go and tell her
that Miss Kay is too busy.

- Oh, no...
- Too busy!

But Miss Kay said...

Miss Kay said,
she was too busy.

- But-but...
- 'Terry, listen...

[Door closes]

(Mrs. Gage)
'Well, where is she?'

- Well...
- Oh, no wells about it.

Now, she is either here or
for some reason why she isn't.

Speak up, woman.
Where is she?

She-she just won't come.

Won't come?

Why not?

Well... there's a man
in her room. A strange man.

He said to tell you
she was busy.

Ah! Busy, aye?

He said it, Mrs. Gage.
I didn't.

Busy!

- Well, I said...
- Sit down! Hand me that robe.

Busy, aye? Busy.

- Yes, but, listen, mother...
- Shut up!

- Oh... well. Alright.
- 'I suppose your grandmother...

- Yes, but, mother, I wish...
- Will you shut up?

(Kay)
'No, it's nothing
to do with it.'

(Terence)
'Your grandmother has something
to do with everything.'

'She's the most meddlesome
bigoted old tyrant'

'That ever forgot
to mind her own business.'

(Kay)
'Why, Terry. After all
she-she is my grandmother.'

(Terence)
'Now, let's get this
one thing straight'

'About that old battle-axe.'

'As far as her money
and her orders are concerned'

I don't want
any part of either...

Ooh!

I want that man
out of here.

I want him out of here
in exactly two minutes

Or I'll call
the police.

And if the police can't do it,
I'll do it myself. That's all.

That's not all.

I'll be very happy to leave this
house in less than two minutes

But Kay goes with me.

- What's his name?
- My name is...

Shut up!

- What's his name?
- Terence O'Neill.

- Where is he from?
- I'm from...

Shut up!

- Where's he from?
- Belfast. Ireland

Oh, far enough.

Whose his parents?

I imagine they were
Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill.

Oh, I don't mean that.
What do they do?

- I'll tell you what they do?
- I don't wanna know.

How do you know
they're not lunatics?

What do your parents do?

My father was a swindler.

My grandfather
was a horse thief

And my great grandfather
was hunt for piracy.

Mmm. Good stock.

(Female #4)
'I beg you pardon,
Mr. O'Neill.'

Huh? What do you want?

Will you sign this requisition,
Mr. O'Neill?

Why?

Every vice president
signs them.

But I-I don't know
what they're about.

It's not necessary. They've been
okayed by Mr. Siegalbauer.

Oh, Mr. Siegalbauer, yes.

Do you want anything else,
Mr. O'Neill.

I'm the eleventh button here.

I beg your pardon.
The twelfth button, Miss Bogden.

Eleventh, I'm sure.
The twelfth locks all the doors.

(Male #5)
'No, Miss Bogden.'

'The eleventh from the bottom.
But the twelfth from the top.'

(Bogden)
'Then I have to check it with
the installation department.'

- Good morning.
- Good morning

I offer you
my congratulations

Upon acquiring
this important position

And the vast amount of money
that goes with it.

- What's that?
- Here. Sign this please.

But I-I-I've already signed it.

You signed the one
for Southern Indiana

These are the papers
for Northern Indiana.

Oh, I see it.

You must've had a great deal of
experience at this type of work

To have gotten
the vice presidency.

Oh, no, no.
Just a trip to Connecticut.

A trip? Thank you.

Uh, you have to sign these,
Mr. O'Neill.

Oh, don't you wanna know
what they are?

I do know.

They're either for the
southern part of North Dakota

Or for the northern part
of South Dakota.

Oh, no, not really...

Well! Good morning,
good morning.

Oh, I see.
You've got one of those too.

- Huh.
- But you're better...

I have to keep
looking at mine.

Well, is everything
in shipshape?

Oh, everything's
wonderful.

[Chuckles]
Oh, that's fine.

And I've got a little
office warming present for you.

* As auld acquaintance
be forgot **

There's your Gelatina.

And don't think that
it's just a gadget.

No, it's a-it's a non-tippable
practical... ashtray.

[Chuckles]

A practical
non-tippable ashtray.

- Yes.
- And how can I ever thank you?

Oh, don't mention it.
And don't work too hard.

Remember you've got to save
your strength

To get married tomorrow.

[Chuckles]
Well, I'll see you in church.

[Engine revving]

[Intercom buzzing]

Oh, what do you want?

- May I come in?
- Kay, Kay, darling.

I had to come, darling. I had
to take one last look at you.

I understand that men
age as much as 20 years

The night
before they're married.

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

I've got to fix it
so that we're locked in.

Oh!

How did you get in here?

(Female #5)
'You rang for us, Mr. O'Neill.'

Well, I-I made a mistake.

My nerves are going, I never
know what I'm going to get

When I press
one of these buttons.

[Laughs]
It's rather fun.

It's like necking in
Grand Central Station.

Ah, very fancy, Mr. O'Neill.

Yes, it couldn't be fancier.

- But, darling, it's no use.
- Oh, now, Terry...

Oh, I know, I know I promised
I'd give it a fair try

And I have, Kay,
believe me, I have.

I wanted to run out
of here a dozen times.

I got here
at 8:30 this morning.

And at 8:35, I was out
walking around the block

Trying to talk myself
into coming back.

Darling, in time,
you'll get so that you can wait

Until 9 o'clock before
you walk round the block.

Then ten, then 11.

And who knows
in five or six years

You may be able
to come here every morning

And spend the entire day without
once walking around the block.

It's not a thing to treat
lightly, I'm serious.

[Laughs]
Of course, you are, darling.

And I'm not
treating it lightly.

Oh, dear, 11:05, I must run.

- Where are you going?
- Shopping.

Buying a trousseau
is the nearest thing

To perpetual motion
yet discovered.

Oh, take me with you.

To buy my trousseau?
Why, Mr. O'Neill?

Just for a little while.

I think maybe if
I could get away from here

For just a little while...

Ah, now, darling,
you promised to stick it out.

Please try
just a little longer.

Please.

You didn't like spinach the
first time you ate it, did you?

But I still
don't like spinach.

Oh, but it's
so good for you.

[Intercom buzzing]

[Buzzing continues]

I'm sorry I buzzed.

Terry!

Terry, my boy!

My boat docked this morning.

Betty told
me where I could find you.

I...I've come to offer
my congratulations.

Thanks.

My future
father-in-law gave me that.

It's a practical
non-tippable ashtray.

Very utilitarian.

All of these buttons
are for something different.

Some of them
open doors and some close doors.

Some of them call
men secretaries

And some women secretaries.

And this is a dictograph.

'By flipping
these levers, I can talk'

To practically
anybody I want to talk to.

I couldn't think of that many
that I'd want to talk about.

But it's wonderful.

Ooh, wonderful isn't the word.

You've certainly
come a long way

From being
a archaeologist, Terry.

I certainly have.

You see that room?

That's my private bathroom.

If I want to take
a bath at any time of the day

All I have to do
is just go in there and take it.

In Naxos, you stood
under a tub with holes in it

While Max poured water.

That was good enough
for me in Greece.

I was only a scientist then.

But now I'm a vice president.

A vice president of
Bentley and Gage Incorporated.

Digging up lost civilizations
is not important.

The important thing to do is to
incorporate Southern Indiana.

It's no fun to stand
on a hilltop at night

And look at the moon,
and count the stars.

You don't know what fun is
until you've sat behind a desk.

With a stiff collar on and felt
the walls closing in on you.

And what right
have you to come here?

We have nothing in common.

I am not
an archaeologist anymore.

I'm a business man, I'm
a magnate, I'm a tycoon.

I don't know
anything about archaeology.

But I'll have my secretary write
you a check for a $100,000.

All I have to do
is to press a button.

And very soon I'll get so that
I press a button for my food.

And one for my drink,
and one for my wife

And one for my children.
Look how easy it is.

Name it, professor,
name anything you want.

And I'll get it for you
by simply pressing a button.

Button, button, has anybody
got Bentley and Gage?

Has anybody got a match?

You see, professor, see what you
can get by pushing a button!

Bentley and Gage forever!

I've got a hunch Terry doesn't
like working in the office.

Oh, but,
darling, I know he doesn't.

But he'll get used
to it in time.

Well, I don't know.

Maybe we've been
a bit too sudden.

Don't you think
we ought to taper him off?

[Laughs]
You mean make him discover
smaller statues all the time

Till-till
finally he discovers none.

No, it's not
that but I-I have an idea

He hasn't got
a flair for business.

He likes archaeology too much.

Now, listen, he didn't want to
be a vice president either.

- Did he?
- No.

Didn't I make
him see the light?

- Yes.
- I can keep him that way.

[Laughs]

[Knocking on door]

(Kay)
'Come in.'

Mr. O'Neill
is downstairs, Miss Kay.

And he wishes to speak to you.

Oh, Terry! Bring him right up.

Oh, dear, no. No, no, no.

He can't see
me in my wedding dress.

Uh... tell him I've gone to bed.

I did tell him that, Miss Kay

And he called me, ahem, well,
he seemed to doubt my word

And he insisted
upon seeing you.

Yes, well,
maybe something's happened.

- This maybe be important.
- Oh, nonsense, darling.

- You better tell him...
- Nothing's happened.

Sooner or later, Mr. O'Neill
has got to be realize

There are such things
as conventions.

They may not
make sense all the time.

That's probably why
people have them.

We might just as well start
housebreaking him right now.

Grove, please
tell him I'm asleep.

Yes, Miss Kay.

Yes, well, look, uh

The rules
don't say anything about

The bride's father not being
able to see the bridegroom

On the night
before the wedding, do they?

[Chuckles]
No, darling, you go on down
and give that big shamrock

My love, and tell him
that from tomorrow on

There'll be
no problem in seeing me.

The problem, if any,
will be getting rid of me.

[Indistinct chattering]

- Oh...
- Oh, boy.

(Terry)
'Read up about
the Ubangi savages.'

The groom meets the bride
for the wedding breakfast.

Hey, where's Kay?
I want to speak to Kay.

'Now, Terry,
you know you're not supposed'

'To see me
in my wedding dress.'

Oh, I didn't come to see
you in your wedding dress.

But I've got to talk to you.

Yes, well,
perhaps, I better go down

And cut a couple
of books in the library.

No, you stay here, Mr. Bentley.

What I have to say
will interest you too.

Oh, that's delightful.

Uh, Grove, uh, just go down
and get me a whiskey and then...

Just the whiskey.

Well, in
the first place, I resign

As vice president
of Bentley and Gage.

You can give the job
to Gene Piper. He wants it.

Oh, no, no, nonsense.
Terry, my boy, don't be hasty.

After all,
Rome wasn't burnt in a day.

(Kay)
We're not burning Rome, dad.

'What exactly
brings this on, Terry?'

Nothing brings it on. I'm not
a vice president that's all.

I'm an archaeologist.

(Kay)
'Oh, if so, then what?'

Well, after we're married,
we're going back to Naxos.

Well, oh...

Well, if it's digging you want

Who knows
we maybe able to fix it

So you can dig
in Central Park.

I don't want
to dig in Central Park.

I want to go back to Greece.

Alright, darling,
anything you say.

But let's discuss
it after the honeymoon.

Uh, so I'm sorry
that won't work anymore.

Oh, you handled me
beautifully in Connecticut

But not this time.

- We're going back to Naxos.
- Well, Terry, of course.

I mean,
it's in the itinerary.

Two whole days in Naxos.

But I don't want
two whole days in Naxos.

I want to finish
my work there.

It may take a month,
it may take a year

And it may take five years.

- And I want to finish it.
- And then?

Well, maybe
we'll go to Mexico

And do so some Aztec work.

The point
is are you coming with me?

That's quite a point.

I don't know,
maybe I'm wrong

But I think it's about
as selfish a point as

I've ever come across.

You're saying to me, in effect

Give up
everything you've ever had.

Everything you're used to.

All your friends.

Everything you'll
ever want and come with me

To a squalid,
fly infested village

And watch me dig up statues.

But sitting behind a desk

And staring
at walls stifles me.

It gives me claustrophobia.

Will you please let me finish?

Simply because I have
the terrific gall to force

You into a three million
dollar settlement

And a vice presidency
of Bentley and Gage.

Simply because I put you into
a position where you could sit

At a desk and play
archaeologist with more money

Than you've ever dreamed
of, you're being stifled.

Then you put on an act about
people living your life for you.

Maybe that's what should have
happened to you a long time ago.

Then maybe you'd be
a little more normal.

You haven't got claustrophobia,
Terry. You're just plain nuts.

- Alright, I'm nuts.
- Somebody's at the door.

Crazy, wacky, loony,
whatever you like.

(Terry)
'I tried
to tell myself what I could do'

'With three million dollars,
but it won't work.'

I can't do
a thing with all that money.

I-I can have things done for
me, but that's not what I want.

I want to do things myself.

I don't care whether
I have $3 or three million.

I cannot sit behind a desk and
worry about Southern Indiana

When I just want to be
in Naxos just plain digging.

But I don't want to be
in Naxos just plain digging.

What am I supposed to do?

Scrape your shovels for you?

Or make necklaces out of rocks

So you can sell
them to the tourists?

- Now, you're just being unfair.
- Why?

Because I ask
you to compromise to the extent

Of wearing clean shirts
and walking on pavements?

Oh, walking on pavements?

So that's
your idea of progress, is it?

Breaking your arches on cement

And breathing
gasoline instead of air.

Is it?

Oh, stop rubbing
poisonous polish

Into your nails
and answer me, is it?

I happen
to like my nails like that.

Long and clean
and polished, any objections?

No! None whatever.

The care and feeding
of the fingernails

Is a highly cultural pursuit.

How much more
important than finding out

Who we are
and where we come from?

Do you realize what
could be done with all

The money that
you waste on manicures?

Hundreds of dollars a year.

What you mean hundreds?

Thousands!

Eighty three
thousand dollars a nail.

And my eyebrows, aah!

That runs into real money.

Hand plucked
every Thursday and what of it?

It's my money and I can
spend it on shoe buckles

Peanuts or
baseball bats if I like.

And it's my life.

And I'll live it
the way I want.

Upside down, catty-corner
or slidin' down a pole.

Ha ha, you wouldn't
slide down a pole.

Think of what
your friends will say?

Oh, wouldn't I? You just try me.

Well, isn't it pretty late to
go looking for a pole tonight?

And those friends,
drunks, polo players

Piano players and archers.

How do you talk to them?
What do you talk to them about?

Liquor, polo,
piano playing and archery.

- Any other questions?
- No!

You're asking me
as your husband

To give up every interest
I have in the world

And to lead a life
that's stupid

Dull and loathsome to me.

Well, I can't do it.

- I won't do it.
- Alright!

If everything I stand for
is stupid and dull

And loathsome to you

For Pete's sake,
don't marry me.

Alright. I won't.

Oh, yes, you will.

You're not going
to jilt me and make me

The laughing stock
of the world.

There'll be no
jilting about it.

We just won't
show up at the church.

But everything's
been arranged.

It's too late
to keep the people from coming.

- The church will be full.
- But he wants them to come.

He won't be here
but I will.

I'll have to answer
questions and face people

And deny that Mr. O'Neill
changed his mind.

And who'll believe me?

The laughter was heard around
the world, that's what he wants.

- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.

Don't you tell me what I want.

I'll tell
you what you're gonna get.

You're not going to jilt me,
make me the laughing stock

Of all times
just because you want to go

Dig ditches in Greece.

Archaeology is
not digging ditches.

- And anyway who's asking?
- You are. But I'm not going to.

If both of us don't show up at
the church, I'll still have

To explain because
you won't be here.

And if there's any
jilting to be done

I'm the one
that's going to do it.

- Well?
- Well?

You show up
at the church and I won't.

That way I can just say
I didn't want to marry you.

Oh, I see and then
I can be the laughing stock.

Oh, you won't mind
that much in Naxos.

I wouldn't mind it much on

The corner of
Fifth Avenue on 42nd Street.

The opinion
of what you call the world

Doesn't mean a thing to me.

- No matter where I am.
- So it seems.

- Well, you've got a bargain.
- Alright!

Alright!

- Alright!
- Alright.

[Crying]

Darlin', what are you doing?

This is for Galatea.

- Oh!
- And for Pygmalion.

- Oh, but can you...
- And for nuts.

Oh, darling!

And we must have
one for Greece.

- Ah, yes! Greece!
- Oh, no, you...

That'll do for Greece.

- There!
- Oh!

- Greece!
- 'Huh.'

And archaeology!

- Year old archae.
- Oh!

Uh, darling,
what're you doing?

You had, uh...

Well, look what we have here.

Aren't you the beautiful thing?

All full of sweetness
and life, aren't you?

Just a big brave symbol.

Two hearts that beat as one.

Two souls
that have called to each other

Out of
the darkness that is life.

Well, do
you know what I think you are?

I think you're just about
20 yards of satin with a lot

Of lacey doohickey
spread all over.

You're like
a coating on a pill.

And you can take yourself
and fly yourself a kite.

Oh!

Go stick it under your pillow
and dream on it

Wish on it, cry on it,
jump up and down on it.

[Instrumental music]

Not too far down.
I don't want to miss anything.

Here. Okay, this will do.

- But we have a place...
- I know, young man, I know.

Go and tell that organist to
play old "Promise Me" again.

Well, he's just
finished playing...

I know he has
but I want to hear it again.

Don't debate with me.
Go do as I tell you.

[Instrumental music]

[Sighs]

Isn't this
a wonderful occasion, Brumbaugh?

Wonderful.

Ah, tears of joy.

To think my Ms. Kay's
is being married today.

Sentimental twaddle.

Gallup, it'll give me the
greatest possible pleasure

To smack your kisser.

[Instrumental music]

[Indistinct chatter]

There appears
to be a slight delay.

- Yes, slight.
- How long go you wait?

I mean, uh, how long
does this usually take?

[Chuckles]
I understand exactly
how you feel, young man.

Oh, he didn't understand.

I'm within about 20 minutes
of being a free man.

[Instrumental
"Here Comes The Bride"]

[No audio]

[Music continues]

[Instrumental
"Here Comes The Bride"]

You sure
she's not going to show up?

You don't seem to believe me.

Oh, well,
I do believe you but...

- You just wait.
- But I just, uh.

You-you-you just turn around.

Hmm?

[Music continues]

"Dearly beloved

"We are gathered together
here in the sight of God

'"and in the face
of his company'

'"to join together this man'

'"and this woman
in holy matrimony.'

'"Which is a honorable estate'

'"instituted of God'

'"signifying onto us
the mystical union'

'"that is
betwixt Christ and his church.'

'"Into this holy estate
these two persons'

"Present come now to be joined.

"If any man can show just cause
why they may not lawfully

"Be joined together,
let him now speak

Or else hereafter
forever hold his peace."

- I can show just cause.
- What?

(Terry)
'I said I can show just cause
for not marrying her.'

Terry, listen, he doesn't
know he's talking about.

- No, you made a bargain.
- Terry. Won't you please...

Now you're trying to double
cross me. I can do that too.

But I want
to tell you something.

I don't want to hear it.

Terry, my boy. Listen to her.
What are you going to do?

I'm going to show just cause
why I shouldn't marry her.

Listen, Terry, I'm going to tell
you that I know

What it feels like now
to want to go all the way

To Greece after somebody.

What new trick is this?

Our tickets to Naxos
are in this, you idiot.

- Naxos?
- Yes.

What's going on here?
What is all this?

Oh, shut up!

[No audio]

[Instrumental music]