Original subtitles

(snickers)

You all lose!

(whooshing)

-(screaming) -(gasps)

Death: And the penalty is death.

(zaps)

(Caballeros screaming)

all: Huh?

Where are we?

Panchito: Hmm, it looks like the DMV.

-Felldrake: It's worse. -(all gasp)

We've been sentenced to the underworld.

This is all your fault. (grunts)

My fault? (grunts)

Stop fooling around, you idiots, and get in line!

Well, I suppose we should take a number.

(paper rips)

Excuse me, good sir. Are we in the correct line?

-(groans) -(gasps)

Um, thank you. And, um...

(groans) ...to you, too.

I got our number, but I do not know how long we have to wait.

Woman on PA: Now serving number...

-(dings) -...four.

This may take a while.

Nonsense. A Sheldgoose never waits.

Huh?

Well, neither does a Duck.

Felldrake: Sheldgoose, where are you taking me?

To the manager, of course.

Felldrake: Now listen here,

-you low-level bureaucratic paper-pusher-- -(chair scrapes)

Ooh, you appear to be a person of fine breeding and distinction.

(giggles) Why thank you.

♪ We're Three Caballeros Three brave caballeros ♪

♪ They say we are birds of a feather ♪

♪ We're happy amigos No matter where he goes ♪

♪ The one, two, and three goes We're always together ♪

♪ Aye! ♪

♪ The Three Caballeros ♪

(clangs)

-Whoa! -(whooshes)

-Whoa! -(whooshing)

-(all scream) -(whooshes)

-Whoa. -Whoa.

Panchito: Here comes another!

Oh, boy, ice cream!

(giggles)

Mmm, score. (slurps)

(ghoulish groan)

(shrieks)

-José: Quickly, my friends. Oh! -(whooshes)

Let us hide in there.

(foreboding music)

-(wind whooshes) -(door slams)

-(panting) -José: Huh?

Are we safe?

Let's ask him.

Good day, sir.

We are strangers in your fine, but very odd, Metropolis, and--

-(clanks) -(gulp)

(ominous music)

What was that?

Wait a minute.

Well, honk my horseshoes, it's the Three Caballeros.

all: You've heard of us?

Well, of course, I have. My name is Clinton Coot.

-(both gasp) -Who?

Clinton Coot, your biggest fan.

It's a great honor to finally meet my ancestor,

the great Don Doogo.

I'm not Don Doogo. I'm Donald Duck.

Oh, you're Donald! Oh, you're Donald. That's too bad.

-He gets that a lot. -What's that supposed to mean?

Donald, this is your great-grandfather.

He left us the Cabana in his will.

I thought only dead people left stuff in wills.

You must be the smart one.

Well, I don't like to brag, but--

Wait a minute. But if we are here talking to you,

then that must mean we are...

Dead!

Bingo! So how you like the Cabana? Pretty nice, huh?

How's my incredibly delicate collection of frontiersmen figurines?

Uh...

(shatters)

(munch) Mmm.

Nothing's broken!

Wait a minute. I'm dead!

Mr. Coot, how did you know that we were the direct descendants of the caballeros?

Good question, José Carioca.

Let me show you. (snorts, spits)

Sit down and have a cup of my memories.

-(squeaks) -(moans)

Clinton: Down the hatch.

(gulping)

Clinton: The knowledge that I was a descendant

of the legendary adventurer Don Doogo set me

on the journey of a lifetime.

I became a globetrotting archaeologist

devoted to Don Doogo's band of brothers,

the Three Caballeros.

There was no library I would not go to.

No matter where it was, what its lending policies were,

or whether or not it was open on weekends,

I learned all that could be learned about the brave heroes

and the mysterious goddess who helped them.

One of these books led me to the discovery of the Three Caballeros'

underground treasure chamber.

Though I was unable to gain access to the chamber,

I built my cabana on top and established the New Quackmore Institute

with my partner, Baroness von Sheldgoose.

(all gasp)

Clinton: But I was betrayed by the baroness.

At the first chance that presented itself,

she seized total control of the New Quackmore Institute.

My only consolation came from a trip to the deepest reaches of the Amazon,

where I discovered the curious Aracuan bird.

(screeches)

If I hadn't have crossed his path,

I would never have discovered my most remarkable antiquity,

a golden atlas of wonder.

But it was locked.

And I spent the rest of my life

trying to open its secrets. (gulping)

Ah, we opened that.

(spits)

You did? What was in it?

Not what. Who.

Xandra: I let the Cabs down!

-(thuds) -Oh.

And now they're in the underworld. (grunts)

How am I gonna find them?

Maybe we can have a seance.

Great idea, June-dini.

Xandra, why can't you just zap us there with the atlas?

No, the only path to the underworld is across...

-(bell rings) -...the river Styx!

Girls: Huh?

The river Styx separates this world from the underworld.

Xandra: On its shore lies an ancient horn that can summon Charon, the ferryman.

A gruesome specter, who for the cost of one gold coin will carry any soul

to the great beyond on his ghostly vessel.

He's my only chance.

Welp, she can try her way.

We'll try ours.

Anyhow, after that fell on me,

I wound up here in Ghost City and opened my cafe.

How do we get out of here? I want to go home.

Can you do this at home?

(Caballeros gasp)

(squeaking)

Right?

Huh, that could come in handy.

I must agree with Donald.

We are restless spirits and have much unfinished business.

Well, then, you'd better get moving.

You'll be stuck here forever once the moon goes down.

(foreboding music)

And, uh, when might that be?

-(bell tolls) -(Caballeros gasp)

Whoa, ha, time flies when you're dead.

All right, just outside the underworld is a heavily-guarded border.

Clint: If you can get past that,

and make it through the gateway of the Living,

you'll find yourself smack-dab at the base of Mt. Fuji in good ol' Japan.

Okay, crystal ball, check.

April: Necronomoduck, check.

Ari dressed as fortune teller...

(chanting)

...check.

Wait, that's not in the book.

(jabbering)

June: "Summoning lost spirits.

Lost spirits return from the underworld

because they have unfinished business."

We need something the Cabs haven't finished.

(jabbering) Omm!

How about this? Somebody didn't finish their pizza.

April and June: That's great!

Okay, everyone, Sacred Pizza Circle.

Now concentrate.

(all humming)

Clinton: So this here is Underworld City.

Over there is where the Bronze Age hangs out.

And over there is your Samurai Spa.

And that is my second cousin, Clara Calhoun.

-Hey, Clara! -Hey, kids!

(gasps) Hold up!

Don't take that alley.

Bunch of Yokai down there.

-(Yokai trilling) -(all gasp)

(laughing)

Yokai aren't ghosts. They are vicious monsters.

And if you think ghosts can't die, think again.

I don't want to think again.

I just want to get out of here.

It's all right, Donald. You're almost home.

No, no, no.

Well, you can stay, if you want.

-girls: Panchito! -(whimpering)

Panchito, are you all right, my friend?

My head, it's haunted.

girls: Speak to us, Panchito.

How do you know my name?

-And why are you in my head? -(clanging)

(steady beeping)

We got a signal, but it's too weak.

Find something here to strengthen the connection.

Did the pizza come with garlic knots?

(zaps)

What the--

A tuba?

What happened to the summoning horn?

-(plays tuba) -(ship horn blaring)

-Huh? -(party music playing)

(ghosts cheering)

(party music playing)

Ahoy, Xandra! You need a ride?

-Charon? -Ooh, Cap'n Charon now.

Now they normally cost a gold coin, but fellow immortals ride for free.

Get over here.

Hey, everybody!

We got Xandra, the Goddess of adventure. Yes!

(crowd cheering)

Xandra: What is all this, Charon?

You used to be the grimmest guy around.

Well, the old scary ferryman gig

wasn't bringing in the cash. (chuckles)

But now, business is booming,

thanks to Cap'n Charon's Happy Time Barge.

Are you headed to the underworld?

Do you want to have fun doing it?

Then climb aboard, we've got food, entertainment.

And who knows?

You just might find the love...

(menacingly) ...of your death.

(both moaning)

Ooh-kay.

Charon: To the underworld!

Clinton: Here we are, Caballeros.

The Gateway to the Land of the Living is just past the Underworld City border.

If you can slip through, you're home-free.

But be careful, the no-man's land in between

is guarded by the meanest Yokai you ever lied eyes on

-the Karasu Tengu. -(screeching)

Clinton: A samurai falcon that can control the weather.

-He's very dangerous. -(thunder rumbling)

And if you think it's bad losing your life,

try losing your afterlife.

Don't worry, we'll be careful.

Yeah, we always are, especially in your cabana,

where nothing's broken.

Donald, we gots to talk.

Listen, I spent my life idolizing the Three Caballeros,

but it wasn't for the heroics.

It was for their friendship and camaraderie.

Just remember, it's not about where you're going,

but who you're going with.

(quacks) Whoa.

While I usually love these tender moments,

-we should really get going. -Just five more minutes.

-(grunts) -Mmm.

Sorry, can't cross the border without paperwork.

Um... (chuckles)

Wouldn't you know, we left our identification back in life?

I'll take care of this guy.

I demand to speak to the manager.

But of course.

How may I not help you?

Donald: What?

How did you become the manager?

A Sheldgoose always knows higher-ups, even in lower places.

(laughs)

And now that I'm in charge... (snaps fingers)

...I've created enough meaningless paperwork...

-(grunts) -...to trap you here forever.

Um, may we borrow a pencil?

Eh, thank you.

And even if you finish your eternal paperwork,

you'll need a manager's signature.

(gasps) Oh, wait, that's me.

(chuckles)

Paperwork's for suckers! Ha!

-I am inclined to agree. -(swooshes)

Yeah. Later!

(alarm blaring)

Oh, you're incompetent, even in death.

-(grunts) -(thud)

-Unsatisfying. -I've got this.

Release the Tengu!

Charon: Hey, party people, are you ready for the first day

of the end of your life? Let me hear it!

-(crowd cheering) -Woot, woot, woot!

Yeah, let's keep this party going!

Charon, why aren't we heading to shore?

Oh, Xandra, newly deads demand fun.

Hey, I've got to give them their coins worth. Whoo!

(grunts)

All right, I'm taking this tub over.

Uh, what?

(Charon in deep voice) Whosoever takes the wheel

becomes captain for all eternity.

As for me...

(normal voice) ...I'm going to party!

-(blows whistle) -(crowd cheering)

Fine, but now it's a rescue party.

(screaming)

-(crash) -(thuds)

-(sniffing) -(scraping)

(April grunting)

Okay, this Tesla coil should give us all the power we need.

This was labeled "physic amplifier," probably useful?

Dry ice machine...

makes everything spookier.

Great idea. Now connect the pizza.

(jabbering)

Ooh.

Super-seance in three, two...

-(clangs) -(electricity crackling)

(whirring)

all: Panchito, Panchito, come to us now, Panchito.

(panting)

-We are almost to the gateway! -Keep running, Caballeros!

This is easier than I thought it would be.

-(screeching) -(thuds)

(sword rasps, crackles)

(screeches)

And that's how hard I thought it would be.

(loud chirping)

I have a plan. Donald, you will run to the right.

Me, I will run to the left.

Panchito, you are the key-- Huh?

Where'd he go?

(electricity crackling)

-Let's do this! -(gasps)

-Huh? -We did it!

Welcome back!

Huh? What have you done?

We rescued you from the underworld.

We're amazing.

-Aren't you happy? -No.

I have to get back. Donald and José need me.

I don't want to be..."that" guy.

-(thunder rumbling) -(loud chirping)

-(whirring) -(ground rumbling)

(both groan)

-(groaning) -Tengu: Ya!

Ah!

(loud chirping) Ya!

(yelp)

Whoa! (snickers)

(both screaming)

-(sword whirring) -(both groaning)

José: Panchito, you are being "that" guy!

(crowd screaming)

-(screeching) -(thuds)

You are killing my five-star rating!

No one's going to ever want to ride the Happy Time Barge again.

Huh?

Xandra: Donald?

Donald!

You're not Donald.

Well, of course I'm not. But I can help you find him.

Turn off the machine.

-(jabbering) -(machine powering down)

Okay, great, now send me back!

Uh, kind of thought that would do it.

What about a reverse seance?

Uh, that's somebody from the underworld trying to contact us.

Maybe if we turn it off and turn it back on--

-(overlapping conversation) -(slurping)

all: Okay, let's do it.

Okay, Panchito, we have an idea.

-Great. -(munching)

That was easy.

(burps)

You ate Panchito's pizza!

Thereby finishing his unfinished business.

You're a paranormal genius.

-(blabbering) -(clang)

(screaming)

(snickering)

-Hey, guys. -Panchito!

Nice of you to join us. Could you lend us a hand?

Panchito: I'll do better than that.

I'll lend you a tummy.

(foreboding music)

Hey, why didn't I think of that?

Yeah, why didn't you think of that?

(screeches)

(growls)

Who is afraid of an itty-bitty Yokai?

(screeches)

(Tengu groans)

Oh, squawk.

-(crackles) -(Yokai screeches)

We did it!

We got to go.

-(all panting) -(whirring)

What is that?

-(explosion) -(Caballeros groan)

Felldrake: Leaving so soon?

But you haven't even met my family.

Ooga-booga, fools!

Prepare to be vanquished, peasants!

E Pluribus Morons!

(grunting)

Sheldgoose: Looks like you're surrounded.

Yar, ya idiots.

That's okay. We can take these guys.

(inhales deeply, blows air)

Felldrake: Oh, dear, someone's been going to ghost school.

We just need a good old-fashioned family reunion.

(blabbering)

all: Huh?

And I'll make the head!

(inhales deeply, blows air)

(laughs)

Well, there's something you don't see every day.

(grunts, laughs)

Nice to meet you, nincompoops.

-(grunts) -(thuds)

(spits, snickers)

Lend me your faces!

(grunts)

Ooh!

Aye, yi, yi, yi!

(growls)

(groans)

(air hisses)

(Donald screaming)

(grunts)

(all screaming)

-(thuds) -(Caballeros groaning)

-(squeaking) -(all groaning)

That was the most unpleasant thing that has ever happened to me.

-The moon! -Not again!

No, the real moon!

Sheldgoose: Who's going to save you now?

(air horn blaring)

(crowd cheering)

Sheldgoose, party's over!

ghosts: Aww.

That party, not this one.

(crowd cheering)

(party music playing)

(grunts)

(gasps)

-(explosion) -(all screaming)

Give me back the wheel, Xandra.

I don't think my business can take any more of your captaining.

(grunts)

-(clanging) -(grunts)

Caballeros!

(clangs)

Let me give you boys a hand.

-Thanks, Great-Grandpa. -Much obliged.

Come help us kick some Sheldgoose.

Fighting alongside the Three Caballeros?

Oh, I'm so happy I could die... again!

(all grunts)

(growling)

(grunting)

Yeah.

(blabbering)

(grunting)

-(blabbering) -(thwacks)

-(grunting) -(clangs)

(grunts, chuckles)

(thuds)

Retreat!

Every Sheldgoose for himself!

Ooga-booga!

Wait, Sheldgooses, don't desert me!

Felldrake: Hmph, retreating with your tail between your legs

is another Sheldgoose speciality?

Retreating? Excellent idea! Leopold!

(howling)

Felldrake: It was nice seeing you in Hades, Caballeros!

-Yay! -(ghost cheering)

Well, this has been the best day of my death.

-Thanks, boys. -It has been an honor.

Your memories were delicious.

And thanks for the advice.

Oh! Ahh.

(Charon on speakers): This is your captain speaking.

It's time to party!

-(party music playing) -(cheering)

-(beeping) -(rumbling)

And time for us to go home.

So long, great-grandson!

You made your great-granddaddy proud.

(traditional Asian music playing)

We're back, Caballeros, to the world of the living.

(Caballeros gasp)

So, who wants to see Tokyo?

Caballeros: Me!

Felldrake; The moon is already set, ghost-for-brains.

Now we're stuck here!

Nonsense. I'll just get my transfer paperwork

and we'll be on our way.

You need to come with me.

The manager wants to speak with you.

Manager? Whose manager?

The big manager.

Ooh.

Satan: Sheldgoose!

You allowed three souls to escape my underworld.

And?

And you're the worst manager we've ever had.

You're fired!

-Ah... -(crackles)

What a moron.

Felldrake: Well, that worked out just fine.

-I guess so. -Oh, now what's wrong?

It's just that I've never been fired before.

-Are you serious? -(thud)

Oh, how I missed that.

(theme music)