Original subtitles

♪ We're Three Caballeros Three brave caballeros ♪

♪ They say we are birds of a feather ♪

♪ We're happy amigos No matter where he goes ♪

♪ The one, two, and three goes We're always together ♪

♪ Aye! ♪

♪ The Three Caballeros! ♪

(thrilling music)

Any last words before I send you to Hades?

How about a last request?

Or a last meal?

I'd settle for a last appetizer.

Caballeros, is that you?

I think you are mistaking us for someone...

Yep. We're The Three Caballeros.

Now, if you will excuse us, we will just walk away slowly,

and pretend this never happened.

-Wait a minute. -(José, Panchito, and Donald gulps)

Why are you wearing those strange clothes?

My good woman, this is cashmere.

And this is burlap.

And this is goodbye.

Bye-bye!

Aha! You cannot fool me, impostors!

For I am Xandra, Goddess of Adventure.

Prepare to die.

-(all scream) -(gasps)

Hmm. Headband, bracelet, sandals...

Aha!

Judging by your ensemble, you hail from Greece?

Yeah?

Allow me to introduce myself.

I am José Carioca.

And you, my goddess, are a vision.

Or as the Greeks say... (speaking Greek)

I smell like feta cheese? (growls)

(gasps, thuds)

Mi amiga, yo soy Panchito.

Look what I can do.

Hey.

(humming, yodeling)

(jabbering)

-(growls) -Uh-oh.

I'm Donald Duck, and it's my birthday.

-It is? -Yeah.

You wouldn't hurt a guy on his birthday, would you?

I suppose not.

Well, then!

(guitar music playing)

♪ Happy birthday to me ♪

(groans)

♪ Happy birthday to... ♪

-(growls) -(explosion)

(Donald screams)

♪ ...to me ♪

(groans, thuds)

(coughs)

That was a warning.

Now, tell me the truth.

Where are the real Three Caballeros?

My dear, the truth is, we just do not know.

Yeah. We just got here!

You see, Donald's great-grandfather left us this place

and all the cool stuff in it.

Which, if you're done raining wrath upon us,

we are going to sell.

For a cool million!

You wouldn't dare!

(Xandra grunts)

all: Huh?

Huh?

What are you do...

All right, let's be reasonable...

Please...

stop...

doing...

that!

Okay, okay. Now, let's talk about this.

-I... -(Panchito laughing)

(humming)

-(gasps) -Looking good.

(gasps) May?

-Mm-hm. -Cool. Magic mirror!

Stop messing around and go help that customer.

-Help you find anything, sir? -(gasps)

(stammers) Oh, no.

Just browsing the wares. (clears throat)

Interested in this ring, sir?

(gasps) Actually, I already own it.

Mmm-hm.

Do you have a receipt?

Uh, well, not yet, but, uh...

Fine, I'll give you five dollars for it.

-I'll give you ten. -I'll give you twenty.

Twenty-dollar bid, now looking for double...

-Fifty! -Fifty, fifty...

-One hundred! -Two hundred!

-Four hundred! -Five hundred!

-(whimpers) -...it is now five hundred.

Feeling like we're gonna go get a winner now.

-April: Six hundred! -June: Six-fifty!

-April: Seven hundred -One thousand!

Sold! For $1000 to the gentleman with the creepy mustache.

(laughs) That's good.

Ah, give me the ring.

Pleasure doing business with you.

You, too. (laughing)

Here's your receipt.

Sheldgoose: "So long sucker"? With his tongue out?

Oh! (grunting)

Oh. It doesn't matter.

Something tells me this purchase will pay off.

(Sheldgoose laughing)

-(Xandra grunting) -(Panchito and José laughing)

You know, I would not have thought the 500th time would be funny,

but it still is.

It totally holds up!

Ha, you said it!

-What? -(José, Panchito, and Donald gasp)

(Xandra growling)

If you are who you say you are,

why do you look just like the Three Caballeros?

Ma'am, I have no idea.

Hey, didn't that sleazy lawyer say something about us

being direct descendants?

Yes. Yes!

And we inherited your book from Donald's great-grandfather,

Clinton Coot.

Which, I guess, makes us great grand-friends.

Huh?

(gasping)

How long has my book been closed?

-I don't know. -(José and Panchito grunts)

(gasps) Zeus's torn toga.

-(horn honking) -(gasps)

-(electronic beeping) -(gasps)

-Ooh. -(shutter clicks)

(gasps)

(barks)

(sighs) It's worse than I thought.

All right.

Let me explain from the beginning.

all: Ooh!

Across the globe and beyond, are a multitude of mystic points,

upon which myths and legends are born.

This atlas is a map to them all,

but only I can harness its power.

all: Ah!

Centuries ago, a dark wizard named Lord Felldrake

gained possession of the atlas and bound me to the book,

forcing me to take him to these fantastic worlds.

-(all gasp) -No.

Xandra: While there,

Felldrake disrupted the balance of mystical forces,

bending them to his evil will,

and built an army to take over the universe.

-(crying) -No way!

Xandra: Felldrake's victory seemed certain until they appeared...

The Three Caballeros!

all: Yay!

The Caballeros stormed Felldrake's stronghold,

and using the power of three magic amulets,

they trapped Felldrake in his own staff for all eternity.

Xandra: I swore to be their guide and ally.

Together, we adventured to many magical realms,

undoing the evil of Felldrake

while searching for a way to free me from this book.

During one of our most dangerous adventures...

(all yelling)

...my book was closed...

and hasn't been opened, until now.

Wow. These stories got everything!

Action, adventure, romance!

-Romance? -I have a crush on her.

(chuckles)

-all: Hmm? -Bookmark.

Lets me close the book without the hilarious disappearing act.

Well, many thanks for the history lesson,

but there is a gentleman outside who wants to buy this whole place.

Wait, what?

After all that, are you not even interested

in what happened to your ancestors?

Nope. I'm interested in cash.

Cha-ching! (laughs)

Unfortunately, given the current state of my finances,

(inhales) I am in the same boat.

Well, I don't need the money, but, you know, peer pressure.

(chuckles)

Wait!

But I can take you anywhere on Earth.

Magical places no one has ever gone.

You can protect the innocent, vanquish evil, be heroes!

(all grunt)

And there's treasure.

-(José and Panchito gasp) -Well, why didn't you say so?

You had me at "treasure"!

You had me at "and."

all: Ooh!

(all burbling) Ah!

all: Wow!

all: Whoa... Huh?

Welcome to the Island of Crete!

(echoing) Crete!

But where are all the Cretins?

And the treasure?

Ah, the real treasure is in there.

Panchito: On the wall?

-Ooh! -What?

(all grunt)

(buttons beeping)

Oh, no. You guys go ahead.

I'm staying right here.

Xandra: You are walking in the footsteps of your ancestors...

Literally.

If you were half the hero your ancestor was,

you'd have your treasure by now.

Oh, yeah?

I'll show you!

Come on, boys.

My dear, are you sure you would not like to accompany us?

What, with your physical prowess,

magic bow, and your general competence?

Alas, I cannot pass through the mystic barrier.

Panchito: I don't see a mystic barrier.

It's mystic.

Uh, that makes sense. Wait up, Donald!

Well, we are birds of a feather.

Hey, wait for me too, amigos!

This will take a miracle.

Coconut me.

(slurping)

(calm music)

(eerie music)

all: Wow!

Yeah. Who'd wanna live here?

What a magnificent place.

Look at the craftsmanship.

José: Are those columns ionic?

Panchito and Donald: Hmm?

I am not ashamed of my passions.

How about if we make like a bad joke and knock, knock?

(knocking on door)

(door creaks)

(creature growls)

(all gasp)

(door creaks)

(growls)

(moos)

Hello, my good cow man.

(mooing)

José and Donald: Huh?

Hmm.

Horn. Horn. Chocolate milk.

Aha!

I will handle this.

I am a master of every language known to man or beast.

(clears throat, mooing)

(snorting)

(José and Minotaur mooing)

(laughs, mooing)

(moos)

(sucks teeth) Ooh...

What did you say to him?

I may have called his mother a cheeseburger.

(moos)

(all yelp)

(mooing)

(growls)

(all screaming)

(Minotaur roaring)

(grunts)

(all shouting)

(Minotaur growling)

(Donald yelling)

(José screams) Get him away. Get him away!

(yelping)

What do I do? What do I do?

Split up. He can't follow us all.

And while he's distracted with those two chumps,

you can get out of here.

Good idea, handsome.

Thanks, fellas.

(all laughing)

Split up. He can't follow us all.

(Minotaur growls)

Aw, come on.

You're on your own, buddy.

So long, sucker!

(all screaming)

-(Minotaur growls) -(all yelling)

Hey guys, look!

(Minotaur panting)

(moos, grunts)

(sneezes)

-(growls) -(screams)

-(grunting) -Whoa.

(Donald and José gasp)

(José, Panchito, and Donald shrieking)

all: Whoa!

(Minotaur grunting)

(Donald panting)

-Panchito: Whoa! -Donald: Huh?

-(José grunting) -(Minotaur whimpers)

(mooing, grunts)

-(mooing) -(José and Panchito yells)

(Panchito laughs) This is fun.

It's like the running of the bulls.

What?

I've got an idea.

Call his mother a double cheeseburger.

(both mooing)

(roars)

(yelps)

Panchito, ride him, cowboy.

You got it. I love steering steers.

(Panchito laughs)

-(grunts) -Whoa.

-(screaming) -(groans)

Panchito: Whoo.

Whoa. Whoa! Easy, girl.

Aha!

Donald, why are you stealing that poor statue's loincloth?

Panchito, this way!

(grunting, squeals)

(Minotaur strains)

Ah, I see.

Toro, olé!

(grunts, growling)

Coming in red hot!

Jump!

(growling)

all: Huh?

Minotaur: Hmm?

Oh, moo.

(rumbling)

(gasps) My friends, look.

all: Ooh!

-(all gasp) -(rumbling)

-Wow! - Fantastico!

Holy mariachi!

-You did it! -José, Panchito, and Donald: Huh?

I have to admit,

I thought I'd be going home with nothing but a handful of feathers.

Well, it was Donald's quick thinking that saved our skins.

Did you see Panchito ride?

And what about José's ability

to make people mad just by talking to them.

Yes...

Uh, what?

We showed that stinky Minotaur who's boss.

Excuse moo?

-(growls) -(Donald chuckles)

Did I say stinky?

I meant fragrant.

(laughing)

I haven't had that much fun since the first Olympics.

Nice work, Larry.

Moo to you too, girl.

My work here is done.

Geroni-moo!

-Excuse me, but... -(Minotaur thuds)

what the heck is going on?

A test.

all: What?

One of you alone could not have defeated the Minotaur.

You had to work as a team.

The Caballeros themselves left the amulets here,

so they could be found only by those who are worthy.

Which you know, I guess you are.

But how are you here?

What about that mystic barrier back there?

(laughing)

Oh, there wasn't a mystic barrier, don't be ridiculous!

And now, I will teleport us home using this magic book.

-Wow. - Ay, caramba!

Amazing.

And look, it is almost as if no time has passed.

Donald: Well, what do you know.

Amigos, I think our amulets are trying to tell us something.

Caballeros: Whoa!

Huh? Oh...

(heroic music)

Caballeros: Whoa.

José: This was under our beaks the whole time?

Caballeros: Whoa!

Well, boys, I did promise you treasure.

Whoa.

Ooh!

Oh, boy!

Very heroic!

And stylish!

Check it out!

Well, I guess these guys could be the new Three Caballeros

with a little help.

-(giggles) -Or a lot.

April: Donald, I... Huh?

-(grunts) -What are you doing?

We are posing.

Heroically.

Okay...

And who's she?

I am Xandra, Goddess of Adventure!

Right.

So there a guy outside who says he has a check for you.

Oh, yeah.

Why, hello!

Sheldgoose: Nice helmetry.

So I believe we agreed on one million for the cabana,

and all of its contents.

Donald: Oh, boy.

Oh...

(Donald groans) What do I do? What do I do?

-What do I... -José: My friends,

can we really put a price tag on our destiny?

Well, of course not!

Destiny is an abstract concept.

I'm sorry, my good man.

(gasps)

You don't know who you're messing with!

I am Baron von Sheldgoose,

president of the New Quackmore Institute.

And I'll be watching you very closely, Donald Duck!

Microscopically close.

Subatomically close.

Sheldgoose: Uncomfortably close!

One slip up, and I vow, on my great ancestors,

to tear your little shack to the ground.

Good day!

I said, good day!

And I say good riddance!

(whimpers) My nose.

Why you... (grunting)

(gasps)

What in the... (screaming)

(grunting)

(grunting continues)

(yelping)

(groaning)

Ahh, ow, ow!

(rumbling)

(gasps)

(chair clattering)

disembodied voice: Sheldgoose.

Sheldgoose.

Sheldgoose.

(Felldrake laughing)

It is I, Lord Felldrake the Terrible!

You mean, Felldrake Sheldgoose, my ancestor?

Felldrake: Of course I am, you moron!

We have unfinished business.

We do?

Felldrake: Yes! I just said that, didn't I?

Join me.

Yes.

My power now flows through you.

Sheldgoose: Yes. I can feel it!

Felldrake: Now, we must summon an old friend.

Awaken, my pet.

Awaken!

Has anyone seen Ari?

(whistling)

Come on, you. Hop to it.

(screams)

-(Donald and June gasp) -Hello!

-(grunts) -Yeah.

-Yahoo. -You guys make a pretty good team.

You're more like your ancestors than I thought.

Many thanks for your vote of confidence.

Yeah. I would have given up on us way earlier.

You know, this birthday wasn't so bad.

April, May and June: Um, Donald?

(growls)

(shrieking)

(screaming)

(growls)

-(screaming) -(all gasp)

-Oh, no. -(screaming)

-(monster screeches) -(grunting)

(closing theme music)