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1
00:00:02,184 --> 00:00:03,552
If you want to knowwhat I'm up to,
2
00:00:03,552 --> 00:00:05,220
all you have to do is lookat my feed, and you'll see.
3
00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:06,488
My man, my mani,
4
00:00:06,488 --> 00:00:08,157
my mini,which is actually a fiat,
5
00:00:08,157 --> 00:00:10,059
#lessbasicbitch.
6
00:00:10,059 --> 00:00:12,394
Henry, on the other hand,wasn't on instagram.
7
00:00:12,394 --> 00:00:14,063
So if you want to knowwhat the hell he's doing,
8
00:00:14,063 --> 00:00:16,065
you have to stop by his office.
9
00:00:16,065 --> 00:00:17,399
What the hell
are you doing?
10
00:00:17,399 --> 00:00:21,470
This soothing balm is causing me
a great deal of discomfort.
11
00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:24,607
Our diaper cream sales
have been...Well, stinky.
12
00:00:26,175 --> 00:00:29,111
We should sell it
as an eye cream.
What?
13
00:00:29,111 --> 00:00:30,000
I read on some beauty blog
that's what j-albs does.
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,147
I read on some beauty blog
that's what j-albs does.
15
00:00:32,147 --> 00:00:33,616
Or j-lo.
16
00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,584
One of the j's.
17
00:00:35,584 --> 00:00:38,821
Look.
18
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:41,156
I must admit,
your under-eye region...
19
00:00:41,156 --> 00:00:42,658
Does look luminous.
20
00:00:42,658 --> 00:00:45,194
Mm-hmm.
I call it "butt eyes."
21
00:00:45,194 --> 00:00:47,296
No. No, you don't.
That is a terrible name.
22
00:00:47,296 --> 00:00:49,298
But it is a solid idea.
23
00:00:49,298 --> 00:00:52,101
We market our diaper cream
for an unexpected use.
24
00:00:52,101 --> 00:00:54,536
We target new moms
who aren't getting enough sleep
25
00:00:54,536 --> 00:00:56,171
and could
desperately use --
26
00:00:56,171 --> 00:00:58,173
butt eyes!
Please stop saying that.
27
00:00:58,173 --> 00:00:59,775
I promise I can come up
with a better name.
28
00:00:59,775 --> 00:01:00,000
A little bit of you,
a little bit of me, right?
29
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,177
A little bit of you,
a little bit of me, right?
30
00:01:02,177 --> 00:01:04,546
Right.
In the meantime,
31
00:01:04,546 --> 00:01:07,082
go pitch this to saperstein!
He's gonna love it!
32
00:01:07,082 --> 00:01:08,183
Yeah.
33
00:01:08,183 --> 00:01:09,485
I'm more of
a "have the idea" person.
34
00:01:09,485 --> 00:01:12,788
I'm not really, like, a "bring
the idea to saperstein" person.
35
00:01:12,788 --> 00:01:13,822
It's --
Liza, this is a good idea,
36
00:01:13,822 --> 00:01:15,324
and I want him to know
that it's yours.
37
00:01:15,324 --> 00:01:17,393
Here's another one I had --
the blorkel.
38
00:01:17,393 --> 00:01:19,395
It's a blanket
with a built-in snorkel
39
00:01:19,395 --> 00:01:21,196
so --
mm, yeah.
40
00:01:21,196 --> 00:01:24,333
You have a strong,
viable idea for this company
41
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:27,202
whose value far exceeds
that of an aquatic blanket.
42
00:01:27,202 --> 00:01:28,470
So go to saperstein.
43
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:30,000
Pitch him your diaper-cream
concept this very instant!
44
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,340
Pitch him your diaper-cream
concept this very instant!
45
00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:32,508
"Srsly"?
46
00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:34,076
Seriously.
47
00:01:34,076 --> 00:01:37,479
It's so you can breathe
under the covers, right?
48
00:01:37,479 --> 00:01:39,248
What?
The blorkel.
49
00:01:39,248 --> 00:01:41,383
Oh!
Yeah. Exactly.
50
00:01:41,383 --> 00:01:44,086
If I were you,
I'd "shark tank" that one.
51
00:01:44,086 --> 00:01:45,421
Maybe I will.
52
00:01:45,421 --> 00:01:48,791
I'll give you $100
for 90% of your company!
53
00:01:48,791 --> 00:01:51,293
♪ I'm looking at me ♪
54
00:01:51,293 --> 00:01:53,729
♪ hey, look, it's me ♪
55
00:01:53,729 --> 00:01:56,065
♪ not to make it all me ♪
56
00:01:56,065 --> 00:01:58,567
♪ funny thing about me ♪
57
00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:00,000
♪ is while I'm looking
at me-e-e-e-e ♪
58
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,305
♪ is while I'm looking
at me-e-e-e-e ♪
59
00:02:03,305 --> 00:02:09,311
♪ I'm hoping to find you ♪
60
00:02:09,311 --> 00:02:11,613
Thank you.
61
00:02:11,613 --> 00:02:12,614
Oopsies!
Ooh.
62
00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:14,349
Yes, my oopsies,
as well.
63
00:02:14,349 --> 00:02:17,119
Oh. You are eliza dooley's
acquaintances, are you not?
64
00:02:17,119 --> 00:02:19,054
Wren and...Prue?
65
00:02:19,054 --> 00:02:21,557
He got it right.
Wow.
66
00:02:21,557 --> 00:02:23,525
We're delivering
hand-crafted sandwiches
67
00:02:23,525 --> 00:02:26,662
for bryn's artisanal farm-to-
conference-table food concept.
68
00:02:26,662 --> 00:02:29,798
Ah, yes. I hear they've amassed
quite a following upstairs.
69
00:02:29,798 --> 00:02:30,000
Wren must be enjoying
a healthy profit.
70
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,567
Wren must be enjoying
a healthy profit.
71
00:02:31,567 --> 00:02:34,103
Um, actually, since we all
make the sandwiches,
72
00:02:34,103 --> 00:02:36,138
we're all
enjoying profit.
73
00:02:36,138 --> 00:02:38,440
We've bucked the traditional
corporate structure
74
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,576
in favor of
a shared equity model, so...
75
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:43,145
Well, good luck with that.
Yeah.
76
00:02:43,145 --> 00:02:45,147
Dig the shoes.
Pardon?
77
00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:49,118
I said, "dig the shoes."
78
00:02:49,118 --> 00:02:51,186
Thank you. Nice...
79
00:02:51,186 --> 00:02:54,723
Leather-bound early edition copy
of "little women."
80
00:02:54,723 --> 00:02:56,725
Yeah, I wrote an analysis
of that novel
81
00:02:56,725 --> 00:02:58,527
for my women's studies
thesis.
82
00:02:58,527 --> 00:03:00,000
I see. And in your thesis,
what exactly did you "thees"?
83
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,131
I see. And in your thesis,
what exactly did you "thees"?
84
00:03:02,131 --> 00:03:04,433
I argued that
a Jo and Laurie marriage
85
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:06,769
would have made a superior
ending due to their obvious --
86
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,637
sexual tension?
87
00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,105
I couldn't agree more.
88
00:03:10,105 --> 00:03:13,142
Okay, speaking of sexual
tension, you guys...
89
00:03:14,610 --> 00:03:18,147
...or is this
just regular tension?
90
00:03:18,147 --> 00:03:21,283
I'm gonna head back.
91
00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:23,285
You should come by
our book club, Henry.
92
00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:25,621
It should be fun to have,
like, a male perspective.
93
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:28,457
Yeah, I-I'll think about it.
Yeah.
94
00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:29,792
Aah!
95
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:30,000
Prue, take it down
six notches.
96
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,294
Prue, take it down
six notches.
97
00:03:32,294 --> 00:03:34,496
Ahh.
98
00:03:34,496 --> 00:03:35,497
Well?
99
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:37,232
OMG, h-dog,
100
00:03:37,232 --> 00:03:39,701
I am pumped like some
re-released reeboks.
101
00:03:39,701 --> 00:03:41,370
Tell me!
I just bid on and won
102
00:03:41,370 --> 00:03:43,539
a pair of limited edish
Marc Jacobs jellies!
103
00:03:43,539 --> 00:03:45,073
Shopshifter user
babyfuzz
104
00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:47,242
can straight up suck it
in some havianas.
105
00:03:47,242 --> 00:03:49,278
I'm sorry.
I-I am confused.
106
00:03:49,278 --> 00:03:50,646
She's the ratchet
I was bidding against.
107
00:03:50,646 --> 00:03:54,082
And havianas are, like,
the every flip-flop.
108
00:03:54,082 --> 00:03:56,118
No. Eliza, what happened
with Sam saperstein
109
00:03:56,118 --> 00:03:58,487
when you told him your idea?
Oh, that.
110
00:03:58,487 --> 00:04:00,000
Okay, so, I was on my way
to saperstein's office,
111
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:00,556
okay, so, I was on my way
to saperstein's office,
112
00:04:00,556 --> 00:04:04,193
and I started think about how
"sapers" sounds like zappos...
113
00:04:04,193 --> 00:04:08,096
No, it doesn't.
...Which in turn reminded me
that I needed a good water shoe.
114
00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:09,832
A water sh-- why does anyone
need a good water --
115
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,667
and I'd been fiending
for those m.J.'S,
116
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,102
and then it was like,
"seize the day."
117
00:04:14,102 --> 00:04:15,137
You know?
118
00:04:15,137 --> 00:04:16,338
No, I don't know.
119
00:04:16,338 --> 00:04:18,674
In fact, I'm fairly certain
the "carpe diem" philosophy
120
00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:20,742
does not apply
to online shoe shopping.
121
00:04:20,742 --> 00:04:23,111
Aah!
122
00:04:23,111 --> 00:04:26,081
All right, this is not longer
an ask. This is a demand.
123
00:04:26,081 --> 00:04:28,517
Follow through
on your great idea.
124
00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:30,000
I am personally walking you
over to saperstein's office.
125
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:30,752
I am personally walking you
over to saperstein's office.
126
00:04:30,752 --> 00:04:32,454
Right now.
Out of your chair. Let's go.
127
00:04:32,454 --> 00:04:35,257
Um, I can walk by myself,
thank you very much.
128
00:04:35,257 --> 00:04:36,592
All right.
Okay?
129
00:04:36,592 --> 00:04:38,594
Oh!
130
00:04:38,594 --> 00:04:41,196
Starting now.
131
00:04:41,196 --> 00:04:42,831
And so, you'll notice
my under-eye region
132
00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:45,334
is as smooth and supple
as a baby's back door.
133
00:04:45,334 --> 00:04:48,203
The end.
That's remarkable.
134
00:04:48,203 --> 00:04:50,505
And I love how I knew
your presentation had finished.
135
00:04:52,174 --> 00:04:54,776
Mm-hmm.
136
00:04:54,776 --> 00:04:58,547
No, don't look at me, sir.
This is all her.
137
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:00,000
Miss dooley,
if I had my druthers,
138
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,082
miss dooley,
if I had my druthers,
139
00:05:00,082 --> 00:05:01,316
we'd squirt diaper cream
on the face
140
00:05:01,316 --> 00:05:03,485
of every woman in this country,
whether she liked it or not.
141
00:05:03,485 --> 00:05:04,653
Yikes.
142
00:05:04,653 --> 00:05:06,321
The only...Problem
143
00:05:06,321 --> 00:05:08,657
is that we can't legally
advertise a product
144
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:10,626
for something other than
its intended use.
145
00:05:10,626 --> 00:05:12,261
Oh, well.
No. Not "oh, well."
146
00:05:12,261 --> 00:05:13,795
Never "oh, well."
Okay.
147
00:05:13,795 --> 00:05:16,465
We need an unofficial way
to get the word out.
148
00:05:16,465 --> 00:05:17,599
Well,
what about Twitter?
149
00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:19,268
I have hundreds of thousands
of followers
150
00:05:19,268 --> 00:05:20,769
on Twitter and instagram
151
00:05:20,769 --> 00:05:23,438
and dozens of contacts waiting
to connect with me on linkedin.
152
00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:25,240
I can get the word out...
Unofficially.
153
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,844
By all means,
tweet, gram, uh, link in.
154
00:05:28,844 --> 00:05:30,000
Okay.
You know what's happening
right now?
155
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,846
Okay.
You know what's happening
right now?
156
00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,281
A brainstorming sesh.
157
00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:34,650
We're riffing.
It's a riff.
158
00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:36,652
We're like
a corporate jazz trio
159
00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:38,820
trying to figure out
a profit tune.
160
00:05:43,158 --> 00:05:44,259
Henry on the hi-hat.
161
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:47,462
Eliza dooley
on the French horn.
162
00:05:47,462 --> 00:05:49,131
Uh, I don't know
what we're doing here.
163
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,065
Solo.
It's your solo.
164
00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:57,139
♪ don't really know
what a French horn sounds like ♪
165
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:59,141
Mr. saperstein,
there's a --
166
00:06:01,376 --> 00:06:04,379
I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you were riffing.
167
00:06:04,379 --> 00:06:06,315
I will let the board know
you're in a jazz meeting.
168
00:06:06,315 --> 00:06:09,117
Thank you, Joan.
169
00:06:14,556 --> 00:06:16,525
That night,for the first time ever,
170
00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:18,126
i took my work home with me
171
00:06:18,126 --> 00:06:20,062
and tried to come upwith a hashtag
172
00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:22,230
to make butt eyes go viral.
173
00:06:23,565 --> 00:06:25,567
Why do people favorite
when they can re-tweet?
174
00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,236
Nut up, dude!
175
00:06:28,236 --> 00:06:30,000
My mom's such a coward.
176
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,374
My mom's such a coward.
177
00:06:32,374 --> 00:06:34,509
Hey, do you
want to meet my mom?
178
00:06:34,509 --> 00:06:36,545
They're in town this week.
Hmm? Who's in town?
179
00:06:36,545 --> 00:06:37,546
My parents.
180
00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:39,848
Oh, you want me
to meet the parents?
181
00:06:39,848 --> 00:06:43,151
Like in that movie,
uh, "meet the parents"?
182
00:06:43,151 --> 00:06:47,155
Yeah. I mean,
unless you're not into it.
183
00:06:47,155 --> 00:06:48,290
Hmm?
I'm fully into it.
184
00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,192
Yeah?
Yeah! Hell yeah.
185
00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,693
Hell yeah.
Hmm.
186
00:06:51,693 --> 00:06:53,795
Great.
187
00:06:55,397 --> 00:06:58,500
Okay, you know what?Hashtags would have to wait.
188
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,000
I had a super-hot guy in my bedwho was...
189
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,535
I had a super-hot guy in my bedwho was...
190
00:07:05,407 --> 00:07:08,410
Good morning! How are you?
But keep your answer brief,
191
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:10,078
'cause I'm really just waiting
to tell you how i am.
192
00:07:10,078 --> 00:07:11,213
I'm fine! How are you?
193
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,715
I think I'm okay, but last
night, for the first time ever,
194
00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:16,752
Freddy and I slept together
without sleeping together.
195
00:07:16,752 --> 00:07:18,153
Mm-hmm.
196
00:07:18,153 --> 00:07:21,423
Meaning I didn't ride the pony
to pound town.
197
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:23,425
I got that.
198
00:07:23,425 --> 00:07:25,260
Well?
199
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:27,763
Why aren't you exploding
into a million charmoniques
200
00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:29,765
and scurrying
across the floor in shock?!
201
00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:30,000
Because I'm not shocked.
202
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,099
Because I'm not shocked.
203
00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:33,201
It sounds like your relationship
with Freddy is maturing.
204
00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:36,071
Yeah. He asked me
to meet the parents.
205
00:07:36,071 --> 00:07:38,473
Oh, you mean like in that movie
"meet the fockers"?
206
00:07:38,473 --> 00:07:40,108
Yeah, but back to us
not having sex.
207
00:07:40,108 --> 00:07:43,311
Is that what happens
in mature relationships?
208
00:07:43,311 --> 00:07:45,213
Every relationship
is different,
209
00:07:45,213 --> 00:07:47,315
but none of them
are different, yes?
210
00:07:47,315 --> 00:07:49,117
That's how you know you're on
the next level, though,
211
00:07:49,117 --> 00:07:52,154
when you think about more than
just having sex with them.
212
00:07:55,757 --> 00:07:57,692
Are you thinking about
having sex with him right now?
213
00:07:57,692 --> 00:08:00,000
No!
214
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,295
No!
215
00:08:01,196 --> 00:08:03,165
Okay,
get away from my desk.
216
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:13,809
Hi.
217
00:08:13,809 --> 00:08:15,377
God!
218
00:08:15,377 --> 00:08:18,080
God!
My heart is racing.
219
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,115
Mine, too.
Workplace rendezvous?
220
00:08:20,115 --> 00:08:22,150
This is
not a rendezvous.
221
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,518
Technically,
any meeting is a rendezvous.
222
00:08:25,187 --> 00:08:26,488
Touché.
223
00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:28,690
And additionally,
please leave.
224
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:30,000
I'm sorry?
225
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,358
I'm sorry?
226
00:08:30,358 --> 00:08:33,228
I'm sorry, wren, but I learned
in my women's studies seminar
227
00:08:33,228 --> 00:08:35,797
that no one likes to be
falsely encouraged.
228
00:08:35,797 --> 00:08:38,500
So I must respectfully express
that I am not interested
229
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:41,470
in forging
a romantic convergence.
230
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:43,138
With you.
231
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:44,639
Yeah. Got it.
232
00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:48,076
Thanks for being so frank.
233
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:52,547
Wren,
hold on a second.
234
00:08:57,519 --> 00:09:00,000
I'm not really a muffin guy,
so...
235
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,068
I'm not really a muffin guy,
so...
236
00:09:08,813 --> 00:09:10,648
Sir, Charlie said
you wanted to see me?
237
00:09:10,648 --> 00:09:12,417
Uh, yes. That's exactly
what I told him to say.
238
00:09:13,585 --> 00:09:16,054
Come in. Take a seat.
239
00:09:17,222 --> 00:09:19,090
Henry, I just
wanted to thank you
240
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:22,060
for the tremendous work
you've been doing with eliza.
Oh.
241
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:25,230
I took the liberty of ordering
us a celebratory Sammie.
242
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,664
Oh, cheers.
Very kind of you, sir.
243
00:09:28,466 --> 00:09:30,168
You know, Henry,
I don't know the difference
244
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:31,669
between a panini
and a pokémon.
245
00:09:31,669 --> 00:09:33,071
You don't?
246
00:09:33,071 --> 00:09:35,420
But I do know this little piece
of edible sunshine
247
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:36,107
but I do know this little piece
of edible sunshine
248
00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:38,042
is the highlight
of my day.
249
00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:39,144
Hmm.
250
00:09:39,144 --> 00:09:41,312
Mmm.
251
00:09:47,385 --> 00:09:49,053
Sir?
252
00:09:49,053 --> 00:09:53,057
Are you -- are you all right?
Is there something wrong?
253
00:09:54,425 --> 00:09:56,594
E-everything's wrong.
254
00:09:56,594 --> 00:09:58,263
Everything!
255
00:09:58,263 --> 00:10:02,233
The old sandwich was sweet,
salty, creamy, crisp.
256
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:05,420
She was a -- a toothsome
journey. But this? Th--
257
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:06,271
she was a -- a toothsome
journey. But this? Th--
258
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:08,306
it's --
259
00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,808
excuse me.
260
00:10:14,179 --> 00:10:16,414
Ah, yes. Hello.
261
00:10:16,414 --> 00:10:18,416
I just picked up
two of your artisan sammies,
262
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:19,617
and I'm just wondering
263
00:10:19,617 --> 00:10:21,252
if we're up against
some sort of chutney issue.
264
00:10:21,252 --> 00:10:23,388
I see.
265
00:10:23,388 --> 00:10:27,358
Right. Well, uh,
thank you for the explanation.
266
00:10:32,497 --> 00:10:34,165
Hmm.
267
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,735
What is the explanation?
268
00:10:37,735 --> 00:10:40,205
Well, Henry,
it's a tale as old as time.
269
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:43,208
Girl makes sandwich,
sandwich is delicious,
270
00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:46,177
boy breaks girl's heart,
girl makes new sandwich
271
00:10:46,177 --> 00:10:48,079
which tastes like
ground-up pigeon beak.
272
00:10:48,079 --> 00:10:50,415
And I don't think I need to
tell you how this story ends.
273
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:52,717
You actually do,
sir.
274
00:10:52,717 --> 00:10:56,221
Boy fixes sandwich,
Henry.
275
00:10:56,221 --> 00:11:00,558
Boy fixes sandwich.
276
00:11:00,558 --> 00:11:03,394
All I said was that I wasn't
interested in her romantically.
277
00:11:03,394 --> 00:11:05,420
It's not what you said.
It's how you said it.
278
00:11:05,420 --> 00:11:05,496
It's not what you said.
It's how you said it.
279
00:11:05,496 --> 00:11:07,665
Come on! What?
I'm willing to pay double
280
00:11:07,665 --> 00:11:10,268
if we can have the old,
toothsome sandwiches back.
281
00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:11,703
Our cooperative
doesn't bend
282
00:11:11,703 --> 00:11:13,571
to the pressure
of the almighty dollar.
283
00:11:13,571 --> 00:11:15,406
Fine.
284
00:11:15,406 --> 00:11:18,109
What if you tell me
the ingredients
285
00:11:18,109 --> 00:11:20,545
so I can make the sandwich
for him myself?
286
00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,113
Oh, and if I just
gave you some brushes,
287
00:11:22,113 --> 00:11:23,448
could you paint
the "Mona Lisa"?
288
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:27,452
Uh...I think
this is a little different.
289
00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:29,721
Out.
290
00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:32,757
Come on.
291
00:11:37,262 --> 00:11:40,431
All I was trying to do
was be honest about my feelings.
292
00:11:40,431 --> 00:11:42,734
It's great that you can be
so honest about your feelings,
293
00:11:42,734 --> 00:11:45,069
even if it means
hurting someone else's.
294
00:11:45,069 --> 00:11:46,404
Thank you.
295
00:11:46,404 --> 00:11:48,306
I meant that as a burn.
296
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,174
Meant mine
as a burn, too.
297
00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:52,310
"Thank you"
was your burn?!
298
00:11:53,711 --> 00:11:56,080
Per Henry's instructions,
299
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,383
i was trying to follow throughon my diaper-cream idea,
300
00:11:58,383 --> 00:12:01,653
which meant another late nightat the office.
301
00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:05,420
What are you
still doing here?
302
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:05,690
What are you
still doing here?
303
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:09,193
Okay. All my push notifications
are now diaper-face related.
304
00:12:09,193 --> 00:12:11,162
We're trending
on pinterest's life hack board.
305
00:12:11,162 --> 00:12:13,498
And I was just re-tweeted by the
gay men's chorus of los Angeles.
306
00:12:13,498 --> 00:12:14,666
Aah!
307
00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,801
Wow, look at you.
308
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:19,337
Working late. I've never seen
this side of you before.
309
00:12:19,337 --> 00:12:21,339
Hey, did you know there's
this guy that comes through
310
00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:23,675
and empties every trash
into one giant trash?
311
00:12:23,675 --> 00:12:26,077
He's like reverse Santa
of garbage.
312
00:12:26,077 --> 00:12:27,645
Yes, he's the janitor.
313
00:12:27,645 --> 00:12:29,380
So, I shouldn't leave cookies
for him?
314
00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,249
No, he sees cookies
as more work. In fact,
315
00:12:31,249 --> 00:12:33,718
cookies are just something else
that he has to throw away.
316
00:12:33,718 --> 00:12:35,386
Well, I'm just gonna
print off this report
317
00:12:35,386 --> 00:12:35,420
illustrating my progress
for saperstein
318
00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,221
illustrating my progress
for saperstein
319
00:12:37,221 --> 00:12:40,191
and then race off to dinner
with Freddy's parents.
320
00:12:40,191 --> 00:12:43,227
Freddy asked you
to meet his parents?
321
00:12:44,295 --> 00:12:46,431
Unless you think
I should cancel.
322
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:49,434
I don't want you to say
I'm not following through.
323
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:52,170
As someone who has spent
far too many nights alone
324
00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:54,238
with the reverse garbage Santa,
I can tell you
325
00:12:54,238 --> 00:12:56,307
that following through
on personal stuff
326
00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:58,643
is just as important.
327
00:12:58,643 --> 00:13:02,246
So, why are you still here
and not with Julia?
328
00:13:02,246 --> 00:13:05,420
Because Julia
is a workaholic, like me.
329
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:05,583
Because Julia
is a workaholic, like me.
330
00:13:05,583 --> 00:13:07,418
I guess that's why
we're perfect for each other
331
00:13:07,418 --> 00:13:08,619
and seldom together.
332
00:13:09,721 --> 00:13:13,424
Meeting the parents.
333
00:13:13,424 --> 00:13:15,193
Yeah.
Wow.
Things are getting "srs."
334
00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:17,261
"Srsly."
335
00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:25,136
Eliza, try to stay off
the phone tonight.
336
00:13:25,136 --> 00:13:27,672
The only thing that should be
glowing at that table is you.
337
00:13:27,672 --> 00:13:29,173
Glowing.
338
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:32,410
I hope I'm dressed okay.
339
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:35,146
I don't exactly have time
to go home and change.
340
00:13:35,146 --> 00:13:35,420
You want to borrow
my coat?
341
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,381
You want to borrow
my coat?
342
00:13:36,381 --> 00:13:38,549
Hmm. Maybe.
343
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:43,221
Here you go.
344
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:46,324
Turn around.
Right.
345
00:13:50,094 --> 00:13:51,729
Well? How do I look?
346
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,401
Wow.
347
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:58,403
Little bit of you,
little bit of me.
348
00:13:58,403 --> 00:14:01,406
That seems to be
the winning combination.
349
00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:10,782
As I droveto meet Freddy and his parents,
350
00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:13,151
i thought aboutwhat Henry had said.
351
00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:21,225
Some moments are worthputting your phone down for.
352
00:14:23,127 --> 00:14:26,597
But more and more,we forget to.
353
00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:30,067
Hi. Um,
I'm joining them.
354
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:31,736
Thank you.
355
00:14:34,672 --> 00:14:36,174
It was starting to feel like
356
00:14:36,174 --> 00:14:39,043
the world was dividedinto two groups of people --
357
00:14:39,043 --> 00:14:43,181
those on their phonesand those not on their phones.
358
00:14:43,181 --> 00:14:47,185
But suddenly, it was likethe blue haze had lifted.
359
00:14:47,185 --> 00:14:48,352
Hi!
360
00:14:48,352 --> 00:14:50,188
Oh, hey. Eliza.
Hi!
Oh, hi.
361
00:14:50,188 --> 00:14:52,356
Wow, she is even more beautiful
than on instagram.
362
00:14:52,356 --> 00:14:53,624
Oh.
363
00:14:53,624 --> 00:14:55,126
We started following you
a few weeks ago
364
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:56,727
when Freddy tagged you
in one of his pics.
365
00:14:56,727 --> 00:14:58,095
Ah!
366
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,331
#stalkers.
#guilty.
367
00:15:00,331 --> 00:15:02,800
Okay, eliza, this incredibly
Internet-savvy couple
368
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,218
happens to be my parents --
this is Brandon and maisy.
369
00:15:04,218 --> 00:15:05,536
Happens to be my parents --
this is Brandon and maisy.
370
00:15:05,536 --> 00:15:07,705
Hi.
Brandon and --
and maisy?
371
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:11,242
Uh, you do realize your
couple name is mais-'n-bran.
372
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:12,577
Oh, my god.
That is fantastic.
373
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,245
I love it.
I love it!
374
00:15:14,245 --> 00:15:16,047
Huh?
I mean, no wonder
you're together, right?
375
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:17,582
What's our couple name?
376
00:15:17,582 --> 00:15:21,052
Um, uh, fry...Za. Fryza.
377
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,220
Fryza?
378
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,055
Yeah. Yeah.
379
00:15:24,055 --> 00:15:26,557
F-fryza.
Yeah, fryza.
380
00:15:26,557 --> 00:15:29,060
Sure.
381
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,561
It wasn't justthat our couple name
382
00:15:30,561 --> 00:15:32,396
sounded likea German curse word.
383
00:15:32,396 --> 00:15:34,218
It was the fact that 90% ofthe time I spent with Freddy,
384
00:15:34,218 --> 00:15:35,366
it was the fact that 90% ofthe time I spent with Freddy,
385
00:15:35,366 --> 00:15:36,701
we were either doing this...
386
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:38,035
♪ Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi ♪
387
00:15:38,035 --> 00:15:40,238
♪ mi mi mi, only mi mi ♪
388
00:15:40,238 --> 00:15:42,039
♪ mi mi mi mi mi mi mi ♪
389
00:15:42,039 --> 00:15:44,308
...or this...
♪ mi mi mi, sexy me,
mi mi mi mi mi mi mi ♪
390
00:15:44,308 --> 00:15:46,644
...which prevented mefrom ever fully understanding
♪ mi mi mi, only mi mi ♪
391
00:15:46,644 --> 00:15:48,412
That Freddy's laughsounds like this...
♪ mi mi mi ♪
392
00:15:53,217 --> 00:15:56,053
...and that he eats his breadlike this.
393
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:58,589
Mm!
Are we ready to order?
394
00:15:58,589 --> 00:16:00,725
Madame?
395
00:16:00,725 --> 00:16:03,227
Oh, uh...
I'm not sure what I want.
396
00:16:04,562 --> 00:16:06,564
Can you come back to me?
397
00:16:06,564 --> 00:16:08,366
Honey?
Um, I'm gonna do
the salmon.
398
00:16:08,366 --> 00:16:09,700
Oh, yeah.
Salmon, please.
399
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:12,069
Make it three.
Salmon sounds great.
400
00:16:12,069 --> 00:16:14,171
You won't be disappointed.
That's what we're famous for.
401
00:16:15,439 --> 00:16:19,076
I don't know why
I'm having so much trouble
402
00:16:19,076 --> 00:16:22,580
committing to something
that sounds so...Great.
403
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:25,082
Do some people
not like the salmon?
404
00:16:25,082 --> 00:16:27,251
Oh, no.
Everyone loves the salmon.
405
00:16:27,251 --> 00:16:29,086
And, in theory,
I should, too.
406
00:16:29,086 --> 00:16:31,122
It's just that I've had
a lot of salmon recently.
407
00:16:31,122 --> 00:16:33,324
And I kind of feel
like I've gotten all I
can get out of salmon,
408
00:16:33,324 --> 00:16:34,218
and I may just have
lost my taste for...
409
00:16:34,218 --> 00:16:36,594
And I may just have
lost my taste for...
410
00:16:36,594 --> 00:16:38,262
Salmon entirely.
411
00:16:39,430 --> 00:16:41,766
I mean, look.
There are other fish in the sea.
412
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:44,802
I mean, if salmon
doesn't feel right,
413
00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:46,804
then you probably
shouldn't force it.
414
00:16:46,804 --> 00:16:49,473
It was one of the bestpieces of advice
415
00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:51,242
a waiter had ever given me.
416
00:16:51,242 --> 00:16:53,210
Liza? You okay?
417
00:16:55,813 --> 00:16:58,082
Mais-'n-bran,
I'm really sorry.
418
00:16:58,082 --> 00:17:00,818
Uh,
your son is smoking hot,
419
00:17:00,818 --> 00:17:04,218
and we have obscene sexual
chemistry. We're just not...
420
00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:04,288
And we have obscene sexual
chemistry. We're just not...
421
00:17:07,058 --> 00:17:09,060
We're not
a winning combination.
422
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:12,597
A-are you dumping me?
423
00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:17,034
I'm really sorry.
424
00:17:17,034 --> 00:17:18,603
Eliza...
425
00:17:20,471 --> 00:17:22,106
Eliza!
426
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:28,212
So, just
three salmons, then?
427
00:17:31,382 --> 00:17:32,683
Of all the people to die,
why Claire danes?
428
00:17:32,683 --> 00:17:35,186
Prue!
Prue, you can't do that!
I also read it.
429
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:37,321
I just always picture Beth
as Claire danes.
430
00:17:38,356 --> 00:17:40,157
I think it's great
that Beth died.
431
00:17:40,157 --> 00:17:42,526
I'm actually super happy
for Beth.
432
00:17:42,526 --> 00:17:44,261
I mean,
dying from Scarlet fever
433
00:17:44,261 --> 00:17:48,099
sounds better than being ignored
on match.Com every night.
434
00:17:56,307 --> 00:17:58,476
Too late
for one more?
435
00:18:02,446 --> 00:18:06,183
I'm sure you don't still want me
to join your book club, wren,
436
00:18:06,183 --> 00:18:09,754
but, um...
I re-read my thesis,
437
00:18:09,754 --> 00:18:11,355
and it is hogwash.
438
00:18:11,355 --> 00:18:15,226
Jo and Laurie
are meant to be friends,
439
00:18:15,226 --> 00:18:17,528
and Laurie
is seeing someone else.
440
00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:20,131
You see, wren?
Laurie doesn't hate Jo.
441
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:22,033
Laurie is just
in a relationship.
442
00:18:22,033 --> 00:18:26,070
And make no mistake, Laurie is
not physically attracted to Jo.
443
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:28,881
But Laurie certainly
did not need to just say that.
444
00:18:28,881 --> 00:18:30,041
But Laurie certainly
did not need to just say that.
445
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:31,075
Agreed.
446
00:18:31,075 --> 00:18:33,177
Laurie still has
some work left to do.
447
00:18:34,211 --> 00:18:36,047
I'm sorry, wren.
448
00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:38,049
And not just
in a self-serving,
449
00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:39,750
I-want-your-sandwich
kind of way.
450
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,253
I didn't mean to hurt your
feelings. I really didn't.
451
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:50,628
Apology accepted.
452
00:18:50,628 --> 00:18:52,530
Thank you.
453
00:18:54,765 --> 00:18:57,234
Oh, and, uh...
454
00:18:57,234 --> 00:18:58,881
One more thing.
Bryn?
455
00:18:58,881 --> 00:18:59,570
One more thing.
Bryn?
456
00:18:59,570 --> 00:19:01,305
Yeah?
457
00:19:01,305 --> 00:19:04,141
For someone
with such a large welcome mat,
458
00:19:04,141 --> 00:19:07,478
you aren't
very welcoming.
459
00:19:07,478 --> 00:19:09,213
Burn returned,
my dear.
460
00:19:09,213 --> 00:19:12,149
That's your burn?
461
00:19:13,451 --> 00:19:16,420
How long did it take you
to come up with that?
462
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,422
With my phone off for almost --
463
00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,758
i don't know how longbecause my phone was off --
464
00:19:20,758 --> 00:19:24,128
it was just me and this onethought that I couldn't shake.
465
00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:26,597
The only personwho I wasn't hiding from,
466
00:19:26,597 --> 00:19:28,881
the only person who had everseen me with no #filter was...
467
00:19:28,881 --> 00:19:31,102
The only person who had everseen me with no #filter was...
468
00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:37,141
Henry.
Hey.
469
00:19:37,141 --> 00:19:38,743
How did it go
with Freddy?
470
00:19:38,743 --> 00:19:43,748
It went exactly...
Like it was supposed to.
471
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:45,683
Oh, good.
472
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:50,721
Glad to hear it.
Have a great night.
473
00:19:53,691 --> 00:19:56,227
Henry. Wait.
474
00:19:59,597 --> 00:20:01,766
I want to give you
your jacket back.
475
00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:05,136
You can just
give it to me tomorrow.
476
00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:09,740
No.
477
00:20:09,740 --> 00:20:13,811
I really want to
give it to you tonight.
478
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:25,689
♪ Come, let's stroll ♪
479
00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:28,881
♪ stroll across the floor ♪
480
00:20:28,881 --> 00:20:29,360
♪ stroll across the floor ♪
481
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:36,300
You sure you want to head home
right now?
♪ come, let's stroll ♪
482
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,636
♪ stroll across the floor ♪
483
00:20:38,636 --> 00:20:40,671
No, I'm not.
484
00:20:40,671 --> 00:20:44,341
♪ Now turn around, baby ♪
485
00:20:44,341 --> 00:20:46,177
I have to
go feed my cat.
486
00:20:46,177 --> 00:20:47,578
♪ Let's stroll once more ♪
487
00:20:47,578 --> 00:20:49,713
You don't have a cat.
488
00:20:52,082 --> 00:20:56,120
I have to go purchase a cat
and then feed it generously.
♪ feel so good ♪
489
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:57,488
♪ take me by my hand ♪
490
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:02,226
I don't understand what
the point of this button is!
491
00:21:02,226 --> 00:21:05,763
♪ I feel so good ♪
492
00:21:05,763 --> 00:21:08,232
♪ take me by my hand ♪
493
00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:12,503
I wasn't discouraged.
494
00:21:12,503 --> 00:21:14,505
Henry had taught me to followthrough on my good ideas,
495
00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:17,641
and this one was even betterthan the blorkel.
496
00:21:17,641 --> 00:21:20,377
Henry and I weregoing to be together...
497
00:21:20,377 --> 00:21:23,080
Or else.
35619
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