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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,971
Old habits die hard.
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:05,706
don't tweet it.
Eat it.
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,007
♪ I love you like peaches ♪
4
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,279
♪ you're as sweet as can be ♪
5
00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:14,448
It is not
an "outfit of the day."
6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,350
It is just an outfit.
♪ I love you like peaches ♪
7
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:17,518
My followers want to know
what I'm wearing.
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,152
Perhaps they can redirect
their attention
9
00:00:19,152 --> 00:00:20,387
to something
more important,
10
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,056
like fracking
or ronan farrow.
11
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:26,193
I'm pretty sure my followers
hate both of those things.
12
00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:29,062
Henry was trying to help mebecome a better person.
13
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:30,000
And even thoughi appreciated his help...
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,031
And even thoughi appreciated his help...
15
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,700
"For your prompt
and professional service,
16
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,003
"I offer
my sincere thanks.
17
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,171
Kind regards.
Eliza dooley."
18
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:40,507
...I also kind ofwanted him die.
19
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,142
By the timethe weekend rolled around,
20
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:45,145
i just wanted to order a latteand not say "thanks."
21
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:47,648
Thanks.
22
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:52,019
Any big plans
this weekend?
23
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,320
Yeah, I'm gonna try to
bump into some celebrities,
24
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,322
maybe hit a gifting suite,
kick it with karrueche,
25
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:58,025
yacht-hop, pitbull, binge-drink
till I'm white-girl wasted.
That sounds...
26
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,493
Pop by this pop-up party,
get my grind on,
27
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,000
swing by in-n-out,
kiss a hamburger
28
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,228
swing by in-n-out,
kiss a hamburger
29
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,597
full makeup, no filter,
David guetta.
W-what? W-why?
30
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,165
Why would you do
any of those things?
31
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,100
My friend brit is
only 17 followhores away
32
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:07,968
from catching up to me.
33
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,236
"Followhores."
34
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,971
So I need to cop a like spike,
score a regram,
35
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,072
and basically, you know,
36
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,473
remind brit
that she's a worthless skank.
37
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,309
I can say that.
38
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:16,310
She's my best friend.
39
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,644
Morning.
Morning.
40
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,513
Morning.
Morning.
Oh, morning.
41
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,451
Not to diminish the importance
of smiting your friends,
42
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:27,287
but could I also convince you to
try something more meaningful,
43
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,156
something
more constructive,
44
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,000
like, dare I say,
to help others?
45
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,158
Like, dare I say,
to help others?
46
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:32,626
Help...Others?
47
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:35,329
B-but it's the weekend.
And?
48
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,664
Weekends are
supposed to be productive.
49
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,132
Haven't you ever heard the song
"working for the weekend"?
50
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,602
No.
No?
51
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:44,137
It's an extremely catchy
pop anthem about people
52
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:47,107
who opt to spend
the weekend working.
53
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:51,411
♪ Everybody's working
for the weekend ♪
54
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:58,318
♪ everybody needs
a second chance ♪
55
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,000
♪ everybody's working
for the weekend ♪
56
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,222
♪ everybody's working
for the weekend ♪
57
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,726
That song's not about
working for the weekend.
58
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,728
Beg your pardon?
59
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:11,064
I love that song, but it's not
about working for the weekend.
60
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,100
It's about working
for the weekend.
61
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,167
That's what I said.
62
00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:17,037
No, it's about working in
anticipation of the weekend.
63
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,138
Oh, I see.
64
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,041
So the sole purpose of working
is to enjoy the weekend.
65
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:22,709
That's exactly right.
Yes! Thank you!
66
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,478
Well, that was certainly
not my interpretation.
67
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,712
As you can imagine,
68
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,081
I will now be removing that jam
from my playlist.
69
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,282
Okay, how about this?
70
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,000
I promise to work for the
weekend if you promise not to.
71
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,120
I promise to work for the
weekend if you promise not to.
72
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,522
And just to clarify, 'cause
there has been some confusion --
73
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,991
I will accept Henry's assignment
and do something to help others
74
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,026
if, in return,
75
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,061
he will spend his weekend
doing anything but working.
76
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,196
He needs to let loose
and have some fun.
77
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:44,631
Oh, I intend to.
78
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:48,035
We're talking weekends, right?
Mine's gonna be huge.
79
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:51,004
Got my high-school reunion
tomorrow night!
80
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,372
And the one that got away
81
00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:55,976
will be in attendance --
Mitchell mcmoney.
82
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,978
Now, I truly believe,
in my heart of hearts,
83
00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:00,000
that the only reason why
I am still single is because
84
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,248
that the only reason why
I am still single is because
85
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:04,584
I'm destined
to be Mrs. mcmoney.
86
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:10,290
The year was 1994.
87
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:12,059
Yeah, I got a meeting
that starts --
shh!
88
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,362
♪ I'll make love to you ♪
just as we were
about to exit the friend zone
89
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,365
and get our grind on,
someone paged me.
♪ like you want me to ♪
90
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:20,367
♪ and I'll hold you tight ♪
the 411 was a 911,
91
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,503
meaning I had to outie 5000.
♪ baby, all through the night ♪
92
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,038
The next thing you know,
93
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,041
he was on tour making
oversized blazers for jodeci,
94
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,000
and I was at Yale.
You went to Yale?
95
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,043
And I was at Yale.
You went to Yale?
96
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,545
This weekend,
I'm finally gonna get my chance
97
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,679
to rekindle things.
98
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:33,680
Charmonique?
Hmm?
99
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,148
I always look good.
100
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:37,284
I could come over tomorrow night
and help you get ready,
101
00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:40,387
if you think that would be
selfless and thoughtful of me.
102
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,223
You know what? That would be
selfless and thoughtful of you.
103
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,691
Thanks!
Yeah!
104
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,093
Your turn.
105
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,496
♪ I'm looking at me ♪
106
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,998
♪ hey, look, it's me ♪
107
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,267
♪ not to make it all me ♪
108
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,603
♪ funny thing about me ♪
109
00:03:56,603 --> 00:04:00,000
♪ is while I'm looking
at me-e-e-e-e ♪
110
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,341
♪ is while I'm looking
at me-e-e-e-e ♪
111
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:06,012
♪ I'm hoping to find you ♪
112
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,514
Hey, Henry.
113
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,515
Friday night, huh?
114
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,683
That's correct.
115
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:11,151
About to get turnt!
116
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,486
Myself, as well.
117
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,755
Really?
What have you got planned?
118
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,089
Well, I was planning
on going home
119
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,525
to not think about work
for a little while.
120
00:04:18,525 --> 00:04:21,061
And I thought I'd make
and enjoy a big salad.
121
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,264
Might throw in some chicken
I grilled two nights ago.
122
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,432
Henry.
123
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,400
Maybe a handful
of tortilla strips
124
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,568
for added crunch.
125
00:04:28,568 --> 00:04:30,000
Added crunch.
You heard.
126
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:30,403
Added crunch.
You heard.
127
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:32,172
Henry, that's
the most depressing thing
128
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,406
I've ever heard.
129
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,575
Well, you must be blissfully
unaware of the sound
130
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:38,745
a mother whale makes when
mourning the loss of her pup.
131
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,081
She basically barks
across the whole ocean.
132
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,017
Well, I hope saperstein
doesn't bark across the ocean
133
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,585
when we kill the children's
vitamin line on Monday.
134
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:46,987
What?
Has that been confirmed?
135
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,989
Oh, it's confirmed.
It's going bye-bye.
136
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:49,990
Oh, come on, Henry.
137
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,125
That chewable hasn't been
profitable for years now.
138
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,994
We're actually losing money
producing it.
139
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,029
That chewable put our company
on the map!
140
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,166
The year was
several years ago.
141
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,000
The assignment was to make kids
excited about minerals.
142
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,369
The assignment was to make kids
excited about minerals.
143
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:04,037
Until then,
our kids chewable
144
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,206
had been a blue oval
that tasted like dirt.
145
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,108
But I supposed children
would prefer
146
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,710
a vibrant orange elephant
that tasted like tangerine.
147
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:11,711
And, damn it, they did!
148
00:05:11,711 --> 00:05:14,247
Our chewable
flew off the shelves,
149
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,415
and kinderkare pharmaceuticals
150
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,584
won the prestigious
brandmar award.
151
00:05:17,584 --> 00:05:19,719
That little orange elephant
is a rock star,
152
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,488
and my first big rebrand.
153
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,024
It's a relic,
and it can't keep up
154
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,159
with its younger, hipper,
gummier counterparts.
155
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,260
Look, I know it sucks,
156
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,029
but sometimes you got to
cut down the old trees
157
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,000
to let
the new ones grow.
158
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:30,330
To let
the new ones grow.
159
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,498
Am I right,
father time?
160
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:34,034
Who's father time?
I'm father time?
161
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,302
I'm not the one
planning my weekend
162
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:36,469
around a bowl
of roughage.
163
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,471
I said with grilled chicken!
Oh, wow.
164
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,673
Sir.
165
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,576
Grilled chicken
could be fun.
166
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,511
I thought so.
167
00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,454
Our chewable's history,
isn't it?
168
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,356
I don't know --
169
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,659
don't flimflam me, son.
Give it to me straight.
170
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,000
Sir, I'm gonna think
of something.
171
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,095
Sir, I'm gonna think
of something.
172
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,730
I'm gonna work
through the weekend --
there's no point.
173
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,098
It's already gone.
174
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,100
Its chalky soul left
the building hours ago.
175
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,101
I can feel it.
176
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:11,605
And if I know that fruity rascal
like I think I do,
177
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,607
it would want us
to carry on.
178
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:17,110
Have a great weekend.
179
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:25,986
So...Carry on
and have a...Great weekend.
180
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:30,000
The next night, I showed upat charmonique's place.
181
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:30,590
The next night, I showed upat charmonique's place.
182
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,127
I would do my good deed,then get the hell out of dodge.
183
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:39,666
No, thank you.
184
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,002
Move.
185
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,203
Mom!
186
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,039
Now, he remembers me
with the Mary j. Blige,
187
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,208
but a part of me
wants to flip the script
188
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,310
and hit him
with some erykah badu.
189
00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,979
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
I understand that instinct.
Okay.
190
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,981
But when you completely
reinvent your look,
191
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:56,349
you run the risk of
192
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,451
people not knowing
who the hell you are...
Oh.
193
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,000
...I.E. Renée zellweger,
who still looks good...
194
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,021
...I.E. Renée zellweger,
who still looks good...
195
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,391
But doesn't look a damn thing
like miss Renée zellweger.
196
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:06,059
Mm-hmm.
I see what you mean.
197
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,694
Mm. Exactly.
198
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:10,230
Whoo! Okay.
So, let's try the t-boz.
199
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:13,333
Okay. Thank you.
200
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:16,536
Oh, I love it.
201
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,407
♪ No, I don't want no scrubs ♪
202
00:07:20,407 --> 00:07:23,043
♪ a scrub is a guy
that can't get no love from me ♪
203
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:26,379
♪ hanging on the passenger side
of his best friend's ride ♪
204
00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:27,714
♪ try-- ♪
oh, no.
205
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,149
Oh, hell, no.
206
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,000
Please, no, no.
This can't be happening.
207
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,284
Please, no, no.
This can't be happening.
208
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,153
What's wrong?
She's sick.
209
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,988
My sitter's sick!
She's sick?!
210
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,557
Yeah, she says she had
bad Mexican food at the mall
211
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:38,625
and she can't
stop vomiting.
212
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,060
Did you tell her
she can vomit here?
213
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,395
Oh.
214
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:47,701
"You...Can...
Vomit...Here."
215
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,035
What did she say?
216
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:52,072
She says
she isn't coming.
217
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:56,009
My psychic said an unknown force
would keep me from true love.
218
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:57,010
But I didn't think
219
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,000
it was gonna be a $5 burrito
from the food court.
220
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,113
It was gonna be a $5 burrito
from the food court.
221
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,982
I'm really sorry.
222
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,417
And no one's gonna be able
to come on such short notice.
223
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,119
Mm. Probably not, no.
224
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,154
So that's it.
225
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,689
I'm gonna miss my reunion
226
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:12,158
and my chance
to find true love.
227
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,295
It sure sounds
that way.
228
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,397
Yeah.
229
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:21,067
I can't think of
one single solution
230
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:24,104
in this whole,
entire universe
231
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:28,308
that would allow me
to go to my event tonight.
232
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,342
Can you?
233
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,153
No.
234
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,058
Now, he only eats nuggets,
so just nuggets for dinner,
235
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,559
maybe one or two nuggets
before bed,
236
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,395
and, if I'm not home
by morning,
237
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,296
a bowl of nuggets
with some o.J.
238
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:54,968
Um, okay, here is my number
if you need to reach me.
239
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,103
Oh, I would like to
request that
240
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,272
you keep the door to
my wig colosseum closed
241
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,141
because, if I did not
make it clear,
242
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:04,144
this whole situation
is on climate control
243
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,346
and has an estimated value
of 60 grand.
244
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,114
$60,000?
245
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:09,182
Okay, Kevin,
I'm leaving.
246
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,250
Get it.
247
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,021
I will, baby.
248
00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:11,451
I will, baby.
249
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,153
Mwah!
250
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,287
I'm gonna call you soon,
okay?
251
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:16,656
Oh, and, eliza,
thank you for this.
252
00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:18,158
Ah, ah!
253
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,659
I owe you one.
254
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,161
Get it!
255
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,496
I'm not gonna let you die.
256
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,564
I can't.
257
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,635
Hello?
258
00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:29,669
Thanks a lot, Henry.
259
00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:31,237
That one nice thing
you made me do
260
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,672
turned into
another nice thing.
261
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,008
That's wonderful.
No, it's not wonderful!
262
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,643
Now I'm actually
working for the weekend,
263
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,678
which you'd better not be,
because that was our deal.
264
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,013
What do you think --
I'm over here hanging out
265
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,021
with a bottle of vitamins?
No.
266
00:09:41,021 --> 00:09:42,048
With a bottle of vitamins?
No.
267
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:45,018
I promise you --
I am full of salad,
268
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,154
and I'm about to get...
Turnt.
269
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,490
Well,
that makes one of us.
270
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,463
Want to dress up
like power rangers?
271
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,364
No.
272
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:01,101
What's wrong?
You don't like kids?
273
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,036
They're okay.
Then what?
274
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,038
You wouldn't understand.
275
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,005
Try me.
276
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,108
It's just
my friend brit and I have
277
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,276
this highly competitive
relationship.
278
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:11,021
She a Virgo?
279
00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:12,112
She a Virgo?
280
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,514
Continue.
281
00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:17,183
We're constantly battling
over who's more famous,
282
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,252
and, duh,
it's always me.
283
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,421
But last weekend,
brit almost broke instagram
284
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,755
when she got
iced-out grills,
285
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,257
made out
with Courtney love,
286
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,127
and stepped up her corn nut game
by posting those picante limons.
287
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:31,464
Hold up. When did corn nuts
drop picante limons?
288
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,667
I was gonna go so hard tonight
to defend my crown,
289
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,103
but now I'm stuck here
with you.
290
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,171
Are you?
291
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,572
I'm pretty sure I am,
yeah.
292
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,021
The Internet is
all about illusions, girl.
293
00:10:41,021 --> 00:10:43,409
The Internet is
all about illusions, girl.
294
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,611
You know that.
295
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,080
I do know that.
296
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,150
Charmonique,
you look amazing!
297
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,451
Thanks, Jeanette.
You, too.
298
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,052
Did you hear about
Joe miner?
299
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:54,988
His wife left him,
and he got hair plugs.
300
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,123
Okay. That's nice.
Listen.
301
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:58,625
Hey. Hey.
Bring it down.
302
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,693
Now, I don't mean
no disrespect,
303
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,596
but I did not come here to talk
smack with you thirsty ratchets.
304
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:07,233
I came here for one reason
and one reason only.
305
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,002
Charmonique?
Mitchell.
306
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,170
♪ Close your eyes ♪
307
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,021
Hi, Mitchell.
Hi, Mitchell.
♪ make a wish ♪
308
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:11,671
Hi, Mitchell.
Hi, Mitchell.
♪ make a wish ♪
309
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,707
Jeanette, chantaal,
please break the hell out.
310
00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,376
♪ And blow out the candlelight ♪
311
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,045
I was afraid
I'd never see you again.
312
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:21,714
I would never let that happen.
You have to know that
313
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:24,217
I've waited a long time for
this opportunity, charmonique.
314
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,251
Me, too.
315
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,320
♪ All through the night ♪
316
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,022
When I heard that
you were a mother,
317
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:33,026
well, there were no words
to describe the way I felt.
318
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,494
But when I found out
you weren't married
319
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,062
or even with the father --
shh.
320
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:37,530
Mitchell, no, no. Wait.
321
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,732
Let's not do this here.
322
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:41,021
Let's get rid of our coats
and find a quiet place to talk.
323
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,302
Let's get rid of our coats
and find a quiet place to talk.
324
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,237
Wonderful.
That's a great idea.
325
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,072
♪ I will do anything ♪
okay.
326
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,074
♪ Girl, you need only ask ♪
327
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:49,209
♪ I'll make love to you ♪
328
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,211
Looks like
you, sir boysenberry,
329
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,713
shall reign
until the first of the month.
330
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:58,084
Whereas your days, lord key lime
of custard, are numbered.
331
00:11:58,084 --> 00:11:59,219
You, there!
332
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,621
You sneaky Greek bastard.
333
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,123
Expired.
334
00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:06,259
You'll hang for your crime!
335
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:11,021
I have to get out of the house.
336
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:11,364
I have to get out of the house.
337
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,271
♪ Oh, ha ♪
338
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,006
♪ look ♪
339
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,141
♪ we all got targets,many they never hit ♪
340
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,277
♪ few of us bull's-eye,jordon that higher living ♪
341
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,145
♪ believing that they can fly,"space jam" the mission ♪
342
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:28,448
♪ if the limit was the sky,why am I star-wishing? ♪
343
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,250
♪ Trying to shinein the darkness ♪
344
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,985
♪ be like a cliff climbwith no -- ♪
345
00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:33,386
Popo shut us down?
346
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,158
Eliza, you cannot have
a child at --
347
00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:41,021
this isn't a wild party.
348
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:41,327
This isn't a wild party.
349
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:44,564
Nope! But it 'grammed
like one, right?
350
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:47,400
It really did. You two really
appeared to be having a blast.
351
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:50,403
Oh, we were...
Until you got here.
352
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,139
Okay, deejay pre-k.
353
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,274
But it's almost midnight,
354
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,242
and I'm guessing
it's way past your bedtime.
355
00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:59,045
This one goes out
to my man.
356
00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:00,980
♪ Together, one,pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa ♪
357
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,048
Oh, I get it.
358
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,717
You think 'cause I'm Korean
I automatically like k-pop.
359
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,052
♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa ♪
360
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,700
♪ everybody ♪
361
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,003
♪ one, two, three ♪
362
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:26,105
♪ yeah ♪
363
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,141
I certainly
don't mean to lecture you.
364
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,176
But when you engage
in immoral sex,
365
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,345
it's not just an oops
upside your head.
366
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,213
It's also an oops
upside the head of
367
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:36,549
our lord and creator,
Christ almighty.
368
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,051
Oh, Mitchell, come on.
369
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:40,053
You were
on tour with jodeci.
370
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,021
Which is
why I had to repent --
371
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,355
which is
why I had to repent --
372
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,023
specifically for providing
the leatherwear
373
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,525
in their
"freek'n you" video.
374
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,694
When I think about all
the fornication I fostered...
375
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:51,364
I can't believe
I flat-ironed my mjb for this.
376
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,033
Excuse me, Mitchell.
I have to check in on my son.
377
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,168
Uh, while you're at it,
378
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,170
could you also check in
on the son of god?
379
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,072
He's been waiting
to hear from you.
380
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:02,575
I've never put a child
to bed before.
381
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,144
I'm sure
it'll be fine.
382
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:08,548
Good night, Kevin.
383
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,983
And to you.
384
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:11,021
I'm going to
turn the light off now.
385
00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:13,286
I'm going to
turn the light off now.
386
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,154
I understand.
387
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:17,190
You do
what you got to do.
388
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,192
Mm-hmm.
389
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,065
What was that?
390
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:27,533
I'm not sure.
391
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,202
Oh, my god, it sounded
like Eddie Murphy.
392
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,138
Is that him?
I-is he choking?
393
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,407
I want my mom!
394
00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,408
He wants his mom!
What are we gonna do?!
395
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,576
His mom's not here!
E-e-eliza!
396
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,745
We got to remain calm
and be of comfort to Kevin.
397
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,021
The lights went out, and he's
like a totally different person.
398
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:41,414
The lights went out, and he's
like a totally different person.
399
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,249
Bedtime can be
really stressful for kids.
400
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:46,352
Let's try and soothe him,
shall we? Yeah.
401
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:50,523
Kevin,
is there something soothing
402
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,392
that your mother does
for you at bedtime?
403
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,128
She fills
my humidifier...
404
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,264
Humidif--
...Puts on
my air purifier,
405
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,133
turns off
my closet light...
406
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,134
You get the closet!
Okay.
407
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,068
...turns on
my bathroom light,
408
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,036
finds my stuffed lion...
Here!
409
00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:05,037
Okay, I got it!
I got it!
410
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:07,006
...gives him to me...
Rawr!
411
00:15:07,006 --> 00:15:10,676
...takes away one pillow,
adds one extra blanket...
412
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:11,021
Get the blanket!
I got the blanket!
413
00:15:11,021 --> 00:15:12,111
Get the blanket!
I got the blanket!
414
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,414
...sprays three pumps
of lavender mist...
415
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,748
Lavender!
416
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,983
Yeah.
417
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:19,051
...cracks the window
and closes the door.
418
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:21,254
You get the door.
419
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:24,624
All right.
420
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:27,293
Then she sings
"ease on down the road"
421
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,294
from "the wiz."
422
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,163
I never saw "the wiz"!
423
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:35,635
There, there.
424
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,004
don't...
Make that noise.
425
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:40,640
As I watched Henry patKevin's afro,
426
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:41,021
i realized I wasn'tgoing clubbing tonight.
427
00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,276
I realized I wasn'tgoing clubbing tonight.
428
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,282
Come on, Kevin.
429
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,452
No super-cool deejays cry
for their mommies!
430
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:57,990
Hello.
431
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,525
Eliza,
is everything okay?
432
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:03,029
Everything's great.
Uh-oh, I hear Eddie Murphy.
433
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,398
Kevin is just a little anxious.
Maybe about going to bed.
434
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,033
Well, did you give him
his bedtime nuggets?
435
00:16:07,033 --> 00:16:08,334
His what?
His bedtime nuggets.
436
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,436
I told you -- he needs
two or three of those
437
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,004
before
he can go to sleep.
438
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,073
His bedtime nuggets, of course.
I completely forgot.
439
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:14,235
Hey, Kevin, would you like
some bedtime nuggets?
440
00:16:14,235 --> 00:16:16,075
Hey, Kevin, would you like
some bedtime nuggets?
441
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,544
You know what?
I would.
442
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:20,580
Oh! Oh!
443
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,114
Thanks, charmonique.
444
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:24,116
Somehow, you called at
the exact right time
445
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,985
and knew exactly what to do.
446
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,420
You're the best mom ever.
447
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,525
You know what? I am.
Hmm.
448
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,027
Everything good?
Everything's great.
449
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:36,596
You know,
I don't know if
450
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,765
you were trying to make me feel
bad about my life choices.
451
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:42,401
But I'm sorry,
father mcmoney -- I don't.
452
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,235
And I'm glad that
you found higher love.
453
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:45,738
And I'm glad that
you found higher love.
454
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,241
♪ We made it through the storm ♪
455
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:53,246
But I have self-love,
and that's real love.
456
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,581
So now
if you'll excuse me,
457
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,049
they're playing my jam.
458
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,085
♪ Won't you be my inspiration? ♪
459
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:01,454
Sometimes,when the grind window closes,
460
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,990
the door to enlightenmentopens.
461
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,093
♪ Real love ♪
462
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:11,097
♪ I'm searching
for a real love ♪
463
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,766
♪ someone to set my heart free ♪
464
00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:14,235
♪ real love ♪
465
00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:15,268
♪ real love ♪
466
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,603
♪ oh, oh ♪
eliza?
467
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,272
Yes, Kevin?
468
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,374
Did we get
a like spike?
469
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,043
We sure did, buddy.
We sure did.
470
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:27,313
You did?
471
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,148
Absolutely not.
472
00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:30,449
I actually lost followers
473
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,051
by posting those pics
of Kevin.
474
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,052
Brit crushed me.
475
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,720
What up, doolio?
476
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,722
It's your girl fit brit.
477
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:41,060
Check your stats, hon,'cause I just smoked your ass.
478
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,562
Well, I'm really proud
of you.
479
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,196
You did a really good job
tonight.
480
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:44,235
Brit may havekilled the instagame,
481
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:47,033
brit may havekilled the instagame,
482
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,002
but I had earnedHenry's respect
483
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,038
and kept a small child alive.
484
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:56,542
Damn.
485
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,210
Is there anything
in the world kids love
486
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,079
more than
chicken nuggets?
487
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,013
Maybe not.
488
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,650
Hey. Maybe not.
489
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,322
Vita-nuggets --
490
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:12,058
chicken nuggets with
vitamin-infused breading.
491
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,235
It's their dinner and their
daily allowance, all in one!
492
00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:14,327
It's their dinner and their
daily allowance, all in one!
493
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,128
Look how excited
you are.
494
00:18:18,464 --> 00:18:20,166
With vita-nuggets,
495
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:23,302
we move from the pharmacy
to the frozen-foods aisle.
496
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:25,738
What happens
if they want seconds?
497
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,540
Which got us thinking.
498
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,375
With vitamins disguising
themselves as
499
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:32,178
gum balls and sour worms
and Teddy bears
500
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,347
and even, in theory,
chicken nuggets,
501
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:37,383
how many calls must
poison control receive annually
502
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:42,054
from parents whose children
have unintentionally overdosed?
503
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,556
The answer is...
504
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,235
An ass-load.
505
00:18:44,235 --> 00:18:45,324
An ass-load.
506
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:46,993
Eliza, the data,
please.
507
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,027
"Eliza, the data, please."
508
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:52,198
Um an estimated
50,000 calls a year --
509
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:54,033
so two ass-loads.
510
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,702
Wow. Two ass-loads.
511
00:18:56,702 --> 00:19:00,072
Sir, there are people in
this room who will tell you that
512
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,442
our vitamin needs to be cooler,
hipper, gummier,
513
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:05,711
that it needs to pretend to be
something it is not.
514
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:09,181
Like Jessica Simpson
when she dated John Mayer.
515
00:19:09,181 --> 00:19:10,149
Who did she think
she was kidding?
516
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,417
I know, right?
517
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:13,753
But I maintain,
518
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:14,235
for this vitamin
to be a success,
519
00:19:14,235 --> 00:19:15,721
for this vitamin
to be a success,
520
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:20,726
all it needs to do is
keep being a vitamin...
521
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:27,533
...with a pleasant but
not delicious orangey taste.
522
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:31,037
Mm. No one's eating
a bottle of these bad boys.
523
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:35,041
That's what
makes them safe.
524
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,742
That's
what we tell parents
525
00:19:36,742 --> 00:19:40,680
because what parent doesn't want
their child to be safe?
526
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,235
So we take down our competitors
by exposing a strength
527
00:19:44,235 --> 00:19:44,684
so we take down our competitors
by exposing a strength
528
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,118
which is
actually a weakness?
529
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,420
Yes.
530
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:50,122
It's nothing short
of brilliant!
531
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,258
Oh! How about that?!
532
00:19:52,258 --> 00:19:55,094
Our elephant
shall ride again!
533
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,062
Come here, you.
534
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,097
Oh, o-okay.
535
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,433
I could dip you.
536
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:01,767
Oh! Actually, sir,
it was eliza's revelation.
537
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,035
Eliza.
538
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,073
Aah!
539
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,274
That's
magnificent work.
540
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:09,975
Thank you.
No, thank you.
541
00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,235
You two really are
quite the power couple.
542
00:20:14,235 --> 00:20:15,047
You two really are
quite the power couple.
543
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,015
Oh, no, sir.
We're just --
544
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:18,050
perfect together.
You really are.
545
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,586
I mean, can you imagine
how exquisite the offspring?
546
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,089
Oh, I imagine
they'd be quite ugly, sir.
547
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:26,058
Red-headed Koreans --
it's not a good look.
548
00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:31,664
Typically.
549
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,068
Okay, so, what is "everyone wang
chung tonight" about?
550
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,070
That I don't know,
but I can tell you that
551
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,406
"sussudio" is the name
of Phil Collins' horse
552
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,742
and that "yah mo b there"
is actually an allegory.
553
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,244
Okay. What is
"private dancer" about?
554
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,579
I think that one's
pretty self-explanatory.
555
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,080
Oh, Henry, can I talk
to you for a sec?
556
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,049
What's up?
557
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,351
Well, you know how I did exactly
what you instructed me to do,
558
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,620
and I spent the whole weekend
helping others, including you?
Yes.
559
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,021
And you know how you were
560
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:57,389
supposed to have fun
and not work,
561
00:20:57,389 --> 00:20:59,258
but you did the opposite,
so you lose and I win?
Okay.
562
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,026
I was thinking that maybe I
should get some kind of reward.
563
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:02,523
Reward?
What did you have in mind?
564
00:21:02,523 --> 00:21:02,661
Reward?
What did you have in mind?
565
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,263
$60,000.
566
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,600
I accidentally left
charmonique's wig closet open.
567
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,235
I have bad news for you,
eliza.
568
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,403
I actually had fun
this weekend.
569
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,439
You did not!
I had a freaking blast.
570
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,608
No! No! You're a liar!
571
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,577
Fine, then just $30,000,
made out to charmonique!
572
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:21,113
Henry!
40334
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