Original subtitles

Well done.

Well done. More branding. Your luck seems to die here. Yes, it is indeed.

Give me a fair wind, Charles. Yes, I will do. Cigar?

Yes, excuse me.

I have another box in my... Your special brand, I hope.

It is my deal, isn't it, Charles? Yes, it is. Oh, boy, you go right ahead, will you?

I say, old Charles...

It was your deal, wasn't it?

Cheers, good health. Cheers.

Ever and ever and ever. Oh, where can I go now? I don't know where to go. Well,

I just thought you wanted to be a sort of 45-year-old.

How do we do it?

Well, where do you want to make that?

Right away. Ta-ta-tum-pum-pum-pum-pum-pum.

They keep popping up everywhere, Mr. Holmes.

It's just impossible to keep track. It might be easier, too,

if he's stuck to one sort of crime, but he doesn't.

This is a master criminal, Hopkins.

This is no ordinary jackanapes.

Oh, yes, I know, but... Well,

he'll crack a crib in Scotland one week and be raising

money to build an orphanage in Cornwall the next.

Murderer, thief, smasher, forger. Incredible. And he's still only a young man.

If we don't catch him soon, there's no telling where it all might end.

It will end on the gallows, Hopkins.

And you'll require my assistance in the matter.

I'd be most grateful, sir. Hmm.

I've had a turn or two in the past with Master John Clay.

The matter interests me.

There you are, Hopkins. I told you Mr. Holmes would do it.

Now, you remember when you brought the matter up last

time, I said to you at the... Oh, sir, sorry.

Now, Hopkins, tell me all you know of the fellow.

Well, I don't know very much.

He doesn't even have a recognisable pattern to his operations.

Just the trademark left every time.

Nothing one can prove.

We'll have to catch him in the act. Trademark, Holmes. What is that?

The clay pipe.

Oh.

Well, the fellow must be some sort of maniac.

A megalomaniac, Watson.

He cannot bear to see his work pass unnoticed.

He is a product of his breeding.

Why, is that remarkable? Tolerably so. His grandfather

was a royal duke. Great heavens.

He himself was at Eton and Oxford, and his brain is as cunning as his fingers.

You seem to know a great deal about him already, Mr. Holmes. Yes.

Yes, he is a worthy opponent.

I presume you've tried the ordinary priest's channels?

Well, we've tried to trace the stolen stuff, of course.

All the usual sort of outlets, you know. No, no, no, no. No, no.

No, I'm sorry, Sergeant, but I haven't set eyes on any of this.

I didn't expect you to have, Mr. Wilson, but you never know, do you?

You don't indeed, Sergeant. Mind you, I put it

down to weakness of character, you know myself.

I mean, if young folk today spend as much time trying to improve

their minds as they do in all these idle pursuits...

Yes, well, if you don't mind... Take my last assistant.

Oh, well, you've noticed, of course, you being a detective,

that I've lost my assistant. Well, now you've kind of mentioned it, Mr. Wilson.

Yes, but I can't understand it, Sergeant, I really can't.

I mean, he seemed a bright enough lad. He never complained to me about anything.

He was inclined to be a bit impertinent.

I caught him calling me Old Ginger behind me back more than once.

You must be used to that, though, with your hair.

Yes, I am, of course. He's not the first.

But here we were then, Sergeant, living together, happy as you please. One day,

and the next day, he'd gone. Disappeared, just like that.

Disappeared?

Without so much as a word. You've reported it, of course. What?

Really?

Reported it?

Oh, oh dear, oh my goodness, oh, I never thought of that.

Oh, Sergeant.

No, you, you don't think anything's happened to him,

do you? It is possible, Mr. Wilson. Oh, my goodness.

Last year we had 125 adults and 17 children disappear in London,

never to be seen or heard again. Oh, Sergeant, and I thought, oh, Sergeant,

the poor fellow. I ought to be ashamed of myself. I,

I really ought to be ashamed of myself.

Well, you reported just in case. Yes, yes, well, of course, I'll go today. Oh, no.

No, I can't do that, Sergeant. You see, I advertise the post. Oh, well,

don't you worry about it.

Now, look, since you haven't seen any of these... Oh, wait a minute, Sergeant.

Let me have another look, hmm? Just to make sure, eh?

Oh, by the way, Sergeant, would you like a cup of tea? It isn't often, you know,

these days. I have the chance of a chat with anybody intelligent.

Most people want to get in and out of here as quickly as they can.

I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but I have got a lot more course to make. Ah, now,

this set here, now, I did have one like that in,

only it wasn't offered for sale. It was a pledge.

Which one? This one, Sergeant. I see. Yes.

You wouldn't still have it, would you?

Oh, no, no, it was redeemed a couple of days ago. Oh? Yes,

they sent a lad back with the ticket. He gave me a five-pound note,

and he took all the change I could lay my hands on.

You wouldn't still have the note, I suppose?

Oh, yes, Sergeant, I would.

I put it in my pocket for safekeeping.

Wait a minute.

Ah, yes, there we are.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Wilson, but this note is a forgery.

What? What? Not worth five farthings.

Oh, dear.

My governor will want to see this.

And you say you were playing cards in the next room? That is so, Mr. Holmes.

And you heard nothing? Nothing.

Mr. Merriweather, have you any business worries? Business worries?

Mr. Holmes, I am the chairman of a most prosperous institution. Quite so.

And what of your companions?

Beyond all suspicion.

They have been my associates for many years.

This is undoubtedly the work of John Clay.

Every indication tells me so.

Well, there's nothing further to be gained here. Come, Watson. But Mr. Holmes,

what of my valuables and the papers taken from my safe?

They were highly confidential.

We shall recover those when we lay our hands on John Clay.

Good day, sir.

Good day.

All right, a shilling then, but it's not worth it, you know.

Oh, bless you, Mr. Wilson, bless you.

All right, here you are then, my dear. Now then, off you go.

Oh, bless you, Mr. Wilson. You've got a heart of gold.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning. Mr. Wilson?

Yes?

My name is Spalding, sir, Vincent Spalding,

and I have come in answer to your advertisement

for an assistant. Ah, have you? Yes, sir.

You see, I'm out of a crib at the moment, sir,

and I think I'd make a very good assistant for you, sir. Oh, you do, do you?

Yes, sir.

Have you had any experience of this trade? Oh, no, sir, I'm afraid not.

But I'm very willing to learn, sir. I'd like to learn the business anyway.

Oh, yes.

I'll come at half-rate, sir, if you like, while I'm learning.

Half-rate?

Well, of course, we'd have to see about that.

Now, have you got any references? References?

Oh!

Oh, I see you were a clerk before, were you? Yes, sir, in the counting house. Ah,

then your writing and arithmetic are all right. Oh, yes, I had a good education,

you see, sir, but a bit of bad luck, you know.

Yes.

The times are a bit hard, aren't they, sir?

Yes.

Half-rate.

Yes. Well, now, tell me, Spalding, have you had, have you got any interests?

Do you occupy your mind profitably?

Oh, yes, sir.

Now, I like a young man to occupy his mind profitably and try and improve his mind.

Now, what are your outside interests? Photography, sir.

Oh.

Oh, you mean you keep snapping away with the camera all the day? Oh,

not all the day, sir, no. I'm more interested in the processing side, actually,

developing and printing and so on in the darkroom, you know, in my spare time.

It can be a very heartistic pastime, you know.

Yes, yes, I'm quite sure it can.

Yes, half rate, eh? Yes, sir.

Live in, of course.

All right.

Done.

You've found yourself a crib, Spalding, and I hope you'll be very happy here.

Thank you, sir. Mary Jane! Mary Jane!

Oh, well, you'll find we live a very quiet life here.

There's only myself and Mary Jane who does the cooking and the cleaning.

I like a very simple life, you see.

Mr. Wilson. Ah, there you are, my dear.

Come and meet Mr. Spalding.

He's going to live with us and be my new assistant. Pleased to meet you.

And I'm very pleased to meet you.

I'm afraid there's more down than sockiness now, Mr. Wilson.

I shall have to knit you some more.

Bless you, Mary Jane. You do look after me nicely.

Thank you, Mr. Wilson.

I'm very happy to.

You look after me nicely as well.

Oh, well, it's not much, but I do what I can.

I do appreciate it, though. I mean, you didn't have to do anything.

But of course I did. Your dad was one of the few friends I ever had.

Oh, shipmates we were in the good old seafaring days.

Ah, yes, oh, sailing round the Cape across the seven seas.

Oh, dear, young men today, they don't seem to have any sense of adventure,

not anymore. I mean, look at young Spalding. Now, where is he?

Down in that cellar again.

Oh, I don't know. All right, I know I never go anywhere myself these days.

I never set foot over my own doorstep from one month to another,

but when I was his age, I couldn't...

Aha, there you are, Vincent.

Yes, Mr. Wilson, here I am.

And here you are.

Oh, what's this? What's this?

Oh, I say, Mary Jane, quickly, come here. Come here. Look.

Me. I look a real man of property there, don't I? I'll frame it for you,

and then you can hang it up in the shop.

Oh, you're trying to get me hanged now, are you?

Hmm.

Hmm.

I see the new Viceroy of India is taking his

appointment a bit more seriously than most.

It says here that he's going up to the frontier for a visit.

Well, you'll have to keep a sharp lookout for Johnny Pataan.

Believe me, I know. Oh yeah, some of those tribesmen.

What's the matter?

You seen something you don't like? I have seen nothing, Watson.

And that I do not like.

Nothing?

Our friend, John Clay.

He's been utterly silent for the best part of a month now.

After that frantic burst of activity, he seems to have gone to ground.

And that I do not like. Oh. Oh, I say, Holmes, have you seen this? Oh.

I wish to the Lord, Mr. Wilson, that I was a redhead. What on earth for? Why,

here's another vacancy in the League of the Red-Headed Men.

What? The League of the Red-Headed Men.

Look, there it is.

Worth quite a little fortune, it is, to any man who gets it.

There are more vacancies than there are men.

The trustees are at their wits' end and know what to do with the money. Money?

Yeah, if only my hair would change colour.

Here's a nice little crib for me to slip into. Now, come along now, Vincent.

What's all this about? Do you mean to tell me you've

never heard of the League of the Red-Headed Men?

Never.

Got no connection with the Masons, has it? No,

I'm surprised you've never heard of it.

You're eligible yourself for one of the positions. Oh? Oh, and what are they worth?

Oh, only a couple of hundred a year.

Only a couple. But the work is slight, you see,

and it need not interfere much with your other occupations.

For a couple of hundred a year, I could retire in luxury on that.

Fancy me never hearing about this before. Well, that's what you get, you see,

staying at home so much. You miss all the interesting news. Oh, now, now, now.

You wouldn't be having me on, would you, eh?

Look, there it is now. Read it for yourself.

No, I really can't be bothered, Vincent. You read it to me.

To the Red-Headed League.

On account of the bequest of the late Ezekiah Hopkins of Lebanon, Pennsylvania,

USA, there is now another vacancy open which entitles a member of

the League to a salary of £4 a week for purely nominal services.

All red-headed men who are sound in body and mind

and above the age of 21 years are eligible.

Apply in person today at 11 o'clock to Mr.

Duncan Ross at the offices of the League, 7 Oaks Court, Fleet Street.

There you are.

Yes, but look, Vincent, what's it all about? I mean,

do you know anything about this league?

Well, I have heard it said it was founded by this American

millionaire who was very peculiar in his ways,

you see. He was redheaded himself, and before he was rich,

people used to tease him about it.

So he had a very great sympathy for all redheads, and when he died,

he left his enormous fortune to provide easy births for men with that coloured hair.

Well, I never... Well, of course, a redhead does get ragged, as I very well know.

From all I hear, it's very splendid pay and very little to do. Oh, but no,

there must be millions who'd apply, good heavens. Oh, perhaps not. What?

He's confined to London, as you see, and to grown men.

This American started from London when he was a lad,

and he wanted to do the old town a good turn.

But it's only for men with hair of real fiery red.

None of your light or dark or copper or amber. Bright, blazing red.

Just like yours, in fact. Yes, but I know this.

I dare say you'd just walk in if you cared to apply. Ah,

but perhaps it's not worth your while to put

yourself out just for a couple of hundred.

What do you mean? Not worth my while?

No. What?

Well, what do you want me to start on this morning, Mr. Wilson?

Start?

Start, start! Never mind start. Here.

Put the shutters up, Vincent.

You can come with me to see this Mr. Ross.

Oh, now, look, Vincent, I told you there'd be millions after it. Don't despair,

sir, never despair. No, look, there's far too many here already. Oh, come on,

Vincent, we might as well go.

No, no, don't go, don't go. Look, right here, there's none with the real fiery red.

Look, they're all straw and orange and brick and liver.

Not bright flame red. This is it for bits, as you know.

I don't think really we ought... Now, come along, sir.

Excuse me. Here he comes. Thank you. Excuse me.

Mr. Ross, this is Mr. Jabez Wilson, who is willing to fill a vacancy in the league.

And he is admirably suited for it.

He has every requirement.

I cannot recall when I have seen anything so fine.

My dear sir, congratulations.

It would be an injustice to hesitate. Oh, thank you. Yes, indeed, a rank injustice.

Oh, thank you, sir, yes. But I'm sure you would

forgive me for taking an obvious precaution.

But of course. Any precaution.

Oh, sir.

Ah, there is water in your eyes. All is in order.

We do have to be so very particular.

Twice we have been deceived by wigs, and once by pitts.

I could tell you tales, sir, of cobbler's wax that would disgust you.

Disgust you with human nature, sir. Oh, dear me.

Yes, the world is full of rogues, sir.

Yes, well, I've often said the same thing myself, sir.

Now, Mr. James Wilson, are you a married man?

No, sir, I'm a widower. I see. But you have a family.

Oh, no, I'm afraid I haven't got... Oh, dear me, this is serious.

I'm sorry to hear you say that.

But why, why, sir?

This fund which our noble benefactor left was for the propagation

and spread of redheads as well as for their maintenance.

And here, this is very serious.

However, with such a head of hair, we must stretch a point.

Yes, I'm sure it will be all right. Now, when can you start?

Oh, oh, well, sir, it's a bit awkward, you see. I already have a business.

I'll look after that for you, Miss Wilson.

Yes, Vincent, I believe you've learned very fast.