Original subtitles

Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful.

Push it back.

Push it back more, this side.

Push this side back more, it's stuck.

Push it.

Stop, stop, stop.

Step away, step away.

Come on.

Seriozh, take everything to the suite.

-Let's go. -Holy shit! Holy shit!

What the hell is going on?

All right.

I asked for champagne.

All I want to do is drink!

Girls…

Why are you making faces? You can cuddle at night.

Whoever draws the short stick

sleeps on a cot.

Damn, I can't even fit on that!

Pick one.

Dear Russians,

today,

on the last day

of the outgoing century,

I am retiring.

I have made a decision.

Today, I am addressing you

for the last time as Russian president.

Is your TV working?

What the heck?

May I turn it on?

Help yourself.

Can't get porn in your room?

In accordance with the constitution,

as I'm retiring,

I have signed a decree

entrusting the duties of the president of Russia

to Prime Minister

Vladimir Vladimirovic Putin.

For the next three months

he will be the head of state.

Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon

we could sell it as shark fin.

Now we're babysitting a penguin.

These wealthy people...

They'll lose everything at midnight.

What a golden opportunity!

You don't understand, you can't.

You can't comprehend the pain of having a suffering dog.

You understand nothing.

Money is no object with love.

Look, he's shaking all over.

A doctor should examine him immediately, every second counts.

He adores dogs.

He has two Saint Bernards, he showed me pictures.

Dr. Lima takes care of his wife so generously.

Alzheimer's in a family is a terrible tragedy.

- Yes, of course. - I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby.

I need to speak to Dr. Lima.

Good morning, Marquise.

Not at all, happy to hear from you.

Forgive me,

I've been exclusively treating humans.

No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look.

Dear Russians,

dear fellow citizens,

I have been asked to become the head of state.

There will be no interruption of power

not even for a minute in this country.

Freedom of expression, freedom of speech,

freedom of conscience...

Yelstin was drunk.

He will wake up tomorrow and think he's still president.

The armed forces…

…are working the same as before.

Our State is intact and will remain intact,

and continues working for the safety of each citizen.

When deciding to step down...

What is his problem exactly?

He won't do it in the snow.

He made that painfully obvious to me.

He's never acted like this before.

I guess there's no other way to put it…

He crapped on my bed, voilà.

-I see. -Does he sense something?

What would he sense?

Y2K.

The end of the world, of course.

Animals have an instinct

often stronger than ours, an insight.

Marquise…

You can't really believe in this twaddle.

I feel we're on the edge of a precipice,

with all my heart.

You see,

Y2K, the end of the world,

what else?

I have to examine his stool.

Yes.

Oh, my God!

Thanks.

Something to eat?

Soup?

What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima?

I beg you, be absolutely honest, I'm ready for anything.

I'm not a veterinarian,

but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms.

No!

-Is that bad? -Don't worry.

It's common among dogs, mine had them too.

I will prescribe medicine for the parasites

to give Mr. Toby right away.

-But he's not going to die? -Of course not.

Thank God!

However, there's a little problem.

I'm afraid you may share…

this affliction.

I have worms?

Maybe, yes.

Worms inside my body?

I'll be sure when I've seen...

your stool sample.

My what?

Your stool.

Dad.

A penguin! A penguin! A penguin!

Put it down!

Come with me, darling.

Let's have a rest.

Mommy, it's me Vaclav!

We're in the same hotel as daddy!

He sends his greetings.

He remembers the Chevrolet keychain.

He looks just like me.

Only he's orange, because of the sun

in California.

He may come to Budejovice.

Wouldn't that be great?

I'll call you back

when I'm with him again.

Bye bye, kisses.

Thank you.

Thanks so much, professor.

Trying to broadcast my presence to the entire world?

Sit down and shut up.

-All in order? -Absolutely.

-No problems? -None.

-Got everything? -Yes.

Where?

In the safe.

Where is it?

Downstairs.

The key?

Let's have a look.

I'll leave my wife here and you leave your friends.

Just you and me.

Behave!

Take good care of Mrs. Belova.

Irina Anatolievna, a drink?

This I understand!

Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna!

To your mother!

-And your grandmother! -To your dog!

-To your father! -And your grandfather!

To the whole family!

Mr. Ambassador, assuming you're still Ambassador,

the situation in Russia has changed.

A new president means new possibilities.

I'd like to revise our agreement.

We all took risks, so let's be fair.

You might not like my line of thought.

Look at it like this…

There are three of us, plus three bodyguards.

With all due respect to your wife, you are alone.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm pretty damn sure.

I want to re-negotiate.

I'm listening.

Fifty-fifty.

Here is my offer.

You take one,

while I'm still in a good mood.

Sooner or later, we will slice up the Russian cake,

as usual.

And if one day we want to find you,

we will find you, even on the tiniest

Hawaiian island.

-Two? -Don't push it, my boy.

Don't push it, my patience has limits.

I was only joking.

Joking? The key.

Very good.

Okay, as soon as you're finished…

How are you?

Welcome back.

What did you scarf down?

My friends, let's toast our new leader,

who will take care of us

for many, many years to come!

Gimme a drag.

Look at that poor baby, he's waiting for his mommy.

I bet he needs help.

Hi, I'm your mommy.

-Help yourself. -Go ahead!

Marijuana!

Mommy gives you permission.

How cute!

I'm the woman of your dreams.

Look!

He's fixed them so much, he can't tell them apart.

Dad!

Will Grandpa go to heaven?

Or to hell?

I don't know, girls.

Help yourself.

Just one.

Listen, don't drink it all at once.

Same to you, Happy New Year!

Close that fucking door! What are you doing?

Shit!