All language subtitles for Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness (2011aa) - S03E17 - Apacalypse Yao (1080p WEB-DL x265 RCVR)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:04,805 - WA-CHA! HIYAH! 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,574 male announcer: AND NOW 3 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:10,211 DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS. 4 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,246 - [grunts] [gong rings] 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,083 * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA * 6 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:18,352 [scatting] 7 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,154 * RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP 8 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,123 * NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME * 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,357 * HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP 10 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,259 * AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME * 11 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,727 OOH! AHH! YAH! 12 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,429 * KUNG FU PANDA 13 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,066 [scatting] 14 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,735 * MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM * 15 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:38,206 * AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME * 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,740 * KUNG FU PANDA 17 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:43,144 [scatting] 18 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:45,113 * HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS * 19 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,680 * WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE 20 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,082 * PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING * 21 00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:49,683 * SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE 22 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,185 OOH! AHH! UH! 23 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:54,355 * KUNG FU PANDA 24 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,224 * LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS 25 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,158 SWEET! 26 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,139 - [panting] 27 00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,474 OH! I'M TOO LATE! NO! 28 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,476 NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! [crowd cheering] 29 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,683 WAIT! 30 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,821 WAIT! - GAH! 31 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,394 - MASTER YAO! [chuckles] 32 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,596 OH! OH, THANK GOODNESS. 33 00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:38,232 YOU ALMOST LEFT BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO SAY GOOD-BYE. 34 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,272 GOOD-BYE. 35 00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,740 - BYE, FUZZY! STAY OUT OF TROUBLE! 36 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:49,810 - MASTER YAO, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT I CAN'T-- 37 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,580 - YES, SHIFU. I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND. 38 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,184 PO ALONE WILL ACCOMPANY ME TO MEET WITH THE OTHER MASTER. 39 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,821 - [sighs] YES, MASTER YAO. 40 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:03,857 - OH, DON'T SULK, FUZZY. WE'RE STILL BUDDIES! 41 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,827 HOOF BUMP! 42 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,264 - BESTIES. - I SAID BUDDIES, NOT BESTIES. 43 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,200 - YES, MASTER YAO. 44 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,435 AT LEAST STAY IN YOUR BOX FOR THE ENTIRE JOURNEY. 45 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,937 YOU HAVE THE GREATEST KUNG FU MIND IN HISTORY, 46 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,207 HOLDING THE MOST POWERFUL SECRETS OF THE SHAOLIN. 47 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,209 WE CAN'T RISK LOSING THEM. 48 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:23,211 - YOU ARE RIGHT, OF COURSE, SHIFU, 49 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:26,480 THOUGH I ASSURE YOU NO ILL SHALL BEFALL ME. 50 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:28,882 - OW! 51 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,785 [sighs] BYE, BESTY. 52 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,289 - BUDDY! 53 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,362 - MASTER YAO, I'M SUPER STOKED ABOUT THIS TRIP. 54 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,897 I MEAN, HANGING WITH THE GUY WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING? 55 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,466 AWESOME! 56 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,236 - AND I AM SUPER STOKED TO HANG WITH YOU AS WELL. 57 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,703 JUST LOOK AT ME. 58 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:52,906 I CAN'T STOP SMILING! 59 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,343 - YEAH. - WHOO! 60 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,645 I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET WITH THE OTHER MASTER. 61 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,315 I'M GOING TO SHARE WITH HIM THE FIVE MOST POWERFUL, 62 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:04,585 MOST ASTONISHING, MOST MIND-BOGGLING 63 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,687 MYSTIC KUNG FU SECRETS EVER! 64 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,556 [laughs] LOVE IT! 65 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,924 - WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU THINK HE'LL SHARE WITH YOU? 66 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,294 - I'M HOPING FOR A GOOD RICE PUDDING RECIPE. 67 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:15,329 - [chuckles] I LIKE YOU, MASTER YAO. 68 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,765 YOU'RE SUPER SMART AND SUPER WEIRD. 69 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,667 - THAT'S ME, BABY! 70 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,371 SO, PO, SINCE WE HAVE SOME TIME... 71 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:25,373 ARE THERE ANY OF LIFE'S MYSTERIES 72 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:27,275 THAT YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED THE ANSWER TO? 73 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:30,378 - YEAH. WHO SEWS MANTIS' CLOTHES? 74 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,281 I MEAN, YOU'D NEED A TEENY, TINY LITTLE NEEDLE, AND-- 75 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:35,716 - I WAS THINKING MORE BIG PICTURE. 76 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,886 - OKAY, I GOT ONE. 77 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,522 WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE? 78 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,292 - TO STRIVE TOWARD A WORTHWHILE GOAL. 79 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,295 - AHA! I KNEW IT WAS SOMETHING WITH STRIVING. 80 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,430 - WHAT GOAL ARE YOU STRIVING FOR, PO? 81 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,598 - OH! [chuckles] 82 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:54,368 I, UH... HUH. 83 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,804 WOW. I DON'T KNOW. 84 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,339 THIS IS TERRIBLE. 85 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,642 I SHOULD KNOW MY LIFE'S PURPOSE, SHOULDN'T I? 86 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,944 MASTER YAO? 87 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,713 MASTER YAO! - WHOO! 88 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,316 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUT I LOVE IT! 89 00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:10,384 - [panting] 90 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,386 [grunts] 91 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,054 AH! 92 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,923 WATCH OUT! GET OUT OF THE WAY! 93 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:19,327 KUNG FU MASTER COMING THROUGH! 94 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,395 - STILL NO! 95 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,996 [whimpering] HUH? 96 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,066 [grunts] 97 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,468 AAH! 98 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,804 [strained grunts] 99 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,341 [sighs] 100 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:37,445 [thuds echoing] 101 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,347 [crash] OW! 102 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,849 [groans] 103 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,751 - PERHAPS YOU AND I CAN DISCOVER 104 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,454 YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE TOGETHER, PO. 105 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,456 - REALLY? THAT'D BE AWESOME. 106 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:54,462 - BEHOLD! 107 00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,398 - YEAH, I GOT SOME STUFF TO DO. 108 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,636 SO CLOSE. 109 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,405 - BEHOLD! 110 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:08,509 I HAVE PERFECTED THE BRONZE LOTUS. 111 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,444 WHAT DOES IT DO, YOU ASK? - NO. 112 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,680 - IT CAN STEAL KNOWLEDGE RIGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD. 113 00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,648 AND ONLY I KNOW HOW TO OPERATE IT. 114 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,384 PRETTY COOL, HUH? 115 00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,985 - I THINK WE'VE ESTABLISHED ME NOT CARING. 116 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,753 [scoffs] 117 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:37,004 [electricity crackles] - [screams] 118 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,939 UGH! 119 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,680 THERE. EAT THE COOKIE. 120 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,550 - WHAT KIND OF-- - EAT THE COOKIE! 121 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,785 - [sighs] 122 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:56,757 AHH! 123 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,560 WHOA. I... 124 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,529 I TOTALLY KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THAT MACHINE. 125 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,930 - AND I DON'T. 126 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,466 YOU SEE, IT SUCKED THE KNOWLEDGE OF HOW THE CONTROLS WORK 127 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,702 FROM MY HEAD AND TURNED IT INTO A COOKIE. 128 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:12,540 YOU ATE THE COOKIE AND NOW YOU HAVE THAT KNOWLEDGE. 129 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,476 - NOT LAME. - I KNOW, RIGHT? 130 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,578 - WE CAN MAKE A FORTUNE WITH THIS THING! 131 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,580 - YOU THINK? - HELLO! 132 00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,582 THE PARADE? MASTER YAO? 133 00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:23,083 THE FIVE GREAT MYSTIC SECRETS? 134 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,618 THERE WERE POSTERS EVERYWHERE. 135 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,554 - I DON'T GET OUT MUCH. 136 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,689 - WE'LL STEAL HIS SECRETS AND AUCTION THEM OFF 137 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,891 TO YOUR LAME SUPER-VILLAIN FRIENDS. 138 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:34,094 - I'D PREFER TO THINK OF THEM AS COLLEAGUES IN EVIL. 139 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,796 - FINE, LET'S JUST FIRE UP YOUR LATEST 140 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,966 LAME BATTLE MACHINE AND GET GOING. 141 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,469 - IT'S NICE THAT YOU'RE FINALLY TAKING AN INTEREST 142 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,471 IN MY WORK, SON. 143 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,506 - WHATEVER. 144 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,476 - * 46 POTS OF TEA ON THE WALL * 145 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:50,077 * 46 POTS OF TEA 146 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,881 - PO, REMEMBER WHEN I ASKED YOU WHAT YOUR GOAL IN LIFE IS? 147 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,917 - UM, STILL THINKING ON THAT... A LOT. 148 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,487 - I MAY BE ABLE TO SUGGEST ONE TO YOU. 149 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,889 YOU SEE, THERE'S A REASON I ASKED FOR YOU ALONE 150 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,591 TO ACCOMPANY ME. 151 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,594 - SHIFU FINALLY CREEPING YOU OUT? 152 00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,597 - I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'D CONSIDER BEING... 153 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,599 MY SUCCESSOR. 154 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:12,500 - AH! 155 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,134 WHAT? 156 00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,936 - I CAN'T LIVE FOREVER. 157 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,771 SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO LEARN MY SECRETS 158 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,741 AND REMEMBER THEM FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS. 159 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,511 - YOU REALLY THINK THAT I COULD DO THAT? 160 00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,678 - OF COURSE! [chuckles] 161 00:07:24,712 --> 00:07:26,747 AND SINCE YOUR HEAD ISN'T CLUTTERED 162 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,750 WITH LOTS OF THOUGHT, YOU'VE GOT PLENTY OF ROOM IN THERE. 163 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,185 [gasps] SO MUCH ROOM! 164 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:36,524 - WOW, THIS IS JUST... WOW. 165 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,559 - YOU WOULD KNOW ALL THE GREAT SECRETS, 166 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:43,531 BUT YOU WOULD HAVE TO MEDITATE ON THEM IN SOLITUDE. 167 00:07:43,531 --> 00:07:46,534 - SO I'D KNOW THEM ALL, BUT I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO USE THEM? 168 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,035 - PRECISELY. 169 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,670 I KNOW IT'S A BIG DECISION. 170 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,240 - YEAH, IT IS. 171 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,812 MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET BACK IN YOUR BOX WHILE I THINK IT OVER. 172 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,280 REMEMBER WHAT SHIFU SAID. 173 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,682 - TRUST ME, PO. 174 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,284 NOTHING TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN, 175 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,687 EXCEPT MAYBE THAT ANGRY WARTHOG 176 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,223 THAT'S ABOUT TO ARRIVE IN A GIANT METAL OCTOPUS. 177 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:14,695 - AH! 178 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:17,565 - [laughs] 179 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,640 - AAH! 180 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:30,711 - [laughs] 181 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:35,082 - [grunts] 182 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,586 [groans] 183 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,588 - OOH! A FIGHT! I LOVE IT! 184 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,633 - WHOA! - [screams] 185 00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,602 - YOU MISSED HIM! - I MISSED HIM? 186 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,336 DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING? 187 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,739 - I'M TRYING, BUT THE PANDA WON'T LET ME. 188 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:02,710 - SURE, BLAME HIM FOR YOUR LAMENESS. 189 00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,877 - HMM-HMM. - [grunts] 190 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,780 - WHOA! - [humming] 191 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,683 - AH! - HOLD IT STEADY. 192 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:12,285 - ONE MAN'S STEADY IS ANOTHER MAN'S FREAKING OUT. 193 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,621 - I'M TRYING. 194 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,756 - THERE IS NO TRY, THERE IS ONLY-- 195 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,958 both: CAN IT! 196 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,627 [electricity crackles] - WHOO! [laughs] 197 00:09:22,329 --> 00:09:24,632 - ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR-- I GOT ALL FIVE. 198 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,033 LET'S GO! - [grunts] 199 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,668 JUST A MINUTE. 200 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,069 - OH! WHOA! 201 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,871 OOMPH! 202 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,373 [Taotie laughs] 203 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,643 Bian Zao: UGH, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN LAUGHING AT ANYWAY? 204 00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,145 [branch cracking] - HUH? 205 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,114 WHOA! OW! 206 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,382 - HMM. 207 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,918 - YOU KNOW SUCH AMAZING SECRET KUNG FU STUFF. 208 00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,754 WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING? 209 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:50,658 - I WAS TRYING TO DECIDE IF THIS PEBBLE IS INTERESTING. 210 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:52,760 - WELL? - MEH. 211 00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,729 - THEN COULD, YOU KNOW, YOU STOP THEM? 212 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:59,132 USE THAT, UH, BRAINY-THINKY "SPLEEN PUNCH" THING, MAYBE? 213 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,303 - OH, ALL RIGHT. 214 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:10,010 HMM. 215 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,345 I-I-I CAN'T REMEMBER IT! 216 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,347 THE YANGTZE SPLEEN PUNCH! 217 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,084 I-I CAN'T REMEMBER THE SECRET UP HERE. 218 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,687 [gasps] THE FIVE MYSTIC SECRETS! 219 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:20,921 I'VE FORGOTTEN THEM ALL! 220 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,723 I DON'T LOVE IT! 221 00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,324 - WHOA...SETTLE DOWN. 222 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,961 - FOR 65 YEARS, MY WHOLE REASON FOR EXISTING 223 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,732 HAS BEEN TO SIT AND PONDER THE WORLD'S GREATEST SECRETS! 224 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,102 AND NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN THE FIVE MOST POWERFUL ONES! 225 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,005 DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS? 226 00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:41,141 [gasps] I HAVE NO PURPOSE! 227 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:46,379 [sobs] 228 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:50,017 - WAIT, BIAN ZAO SAID, "I GOT ALL FIVE." 229 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,053 [gasps] THEY STOLE YOUR SECRETS! 230 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,355 - WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW WE'RE GONNA PRICE THESE BABIES. 231 00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:59,326 OKAY, THE FIVE GREAT MYSTIC SECRETS ARE... 232 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,461 THE IRON HEART, 233 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:05,265 WHICH MULTIPLIES YOUR STRENGTH A THOUSANDFOLD. 234 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,137 THE CLAP OF STILLNESS WILL FREEZE 235 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,841 EVERY NEARBY OBJECT IN PLACE. 236 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:17,845 JIN TIAN'S TEMPEST ENABLES YOU TO SHOOT LIGHTNING BOLTS. 237 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,748 THE YANGTZE SPLEEN PUNCH... 238 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,416 LET'S YOU KNOCK OUT ANYONE WITHIN A HUNDRED-YARD RADIUS 239 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,385 WITH YOUR MIND. 240 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,056 AND THE WINGS OF LIGHT GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO FLY. 241 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,262 THESE SECRETS ARE INCREDIBLE! 242 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:38,031 ONCE WE AUCTION THEM OFF, YOU KNOW HOW RICH WE'RE GONNA BE? 243 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,800 - UH, FILTHY? 244 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:43,837 - MOST DEFINITELY. 245 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:46,907 - STOP RIGHT THERE! 246 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,041 - NOW? 247 00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,877 BUT WE WERE ACTUALLY CONNECTING. 248 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,344 - UH, SORRY? 249 00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,881 - EH, FORGET IT. THE MOMENT'S PASSED. 250 00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,215 [lever clicks] 251 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,118 - AH! 252 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,987 [grunts] 253 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,891 AH! AH! 254 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:04,925 MASTER YAO! 255 00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,960 I COULD USE SOME HELP! 256 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:09,797 - [sighs] WHY BOTHER? 257 00:12:09,797 --> 00:12:11,832 - WHOO! AH! 258 00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,902 AH! 259 00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,804 MAYBE YOU FORGOT A FEW SECRETS, 260 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,471 BUT YOU'RE STILL A KUNG FU MASTER! 261 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,809 NOW COME ON! 262 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:30,951 - NO. TOO DEPRESSED. 263 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,120 - BUT, MASTER--AH! 264 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:36,824 [grunting] 265 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,826 WATCH OUT! 266 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,328 [both shouting] - OW! 267 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,897 - [grunts] 268 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:49,102 - YOU SAVED ME. NEAT. 269 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:52,239 - DON'T GET SO EXCITED ABOUT-- AAH! 270 00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:55,943 HEY! YOU ALMOST CRUSHED MY LUCKY HEAD. 271 00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,945 IT'S ON. 272 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:07,020 [slow motion yell] 273 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,891 - NO! OOH! 274 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,360 [screaming] 275 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,865 [both grunt] 276 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,002 [gulps] 277 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,207 - ALL RIGHT, TAOTIE-- 278 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,043 [screams] 279 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,112 AAH! HE'S ALL STRONG. 280 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,882 THE SECRETS ARE IN THE COOKIES! 281 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,917 - [chomping, gulps] 282 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,519 I ACCIDENTALLY ATE THE MYSTIC SECRET OF THE IRON HEART. 283 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,921 BLEGH! 284 00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,223 IT TASTED ALL...KUNG FU-EY. 285 00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:45,926 - THAT WAS AWESOME. 286 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,294 - NO, IT WASN'T. 287 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,628 HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING TO ME? 288 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,897 - OF COURSE NOT. 289 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,464 - I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE 290 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,901 TO PROVING THAT MACHINES ARE BETTER THAN MUSCLES. 291 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,237 BEING THIS STRONG IS JUST DISTASTEFUL! 292 00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,039 [grunts] YAH! 293 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,008 [screaming] 294 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,243 OF COURSE, I'M NOTHING IF NOT ADAPTABLE. 295 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,079 [grunts] 296 00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:09,316 LET'S GET TO THAT AUCTION. 297 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,018 - HMM. 298 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,655 - [sighs] WELL, THAT'S IT. 299 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,589 WE FAILED. 300 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,960 NOTHING TO DO NOW BUT PLUMMET TO OUR DOOM. 301 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:23,931 - YEAH...NOT SO MUCH INTO THE PLUMMETING. 302 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,433 - [sighs] YOU'RE SO CLOSED-MINDED. 303 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,602 - I'M GONNA GET YOUR SECRETS BACK, MASTER YAO, 304 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,571 SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PURPOSEY LIFE. 305 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,174 BUT FIRST, WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THIS MESS. 306 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,575 WHAT DO YOU SAY? 307 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,345 - [sighs] SURE. HOW? 308 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,579 - I DON'T KNOW! 309 00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,381 I WAS COUNTING ON YOU TO THINK OF SOMETHING. 310 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,516 AAH! KIND OF SOON. 311 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,053 - I HAVE AN IDEA THAT MAY OR MAY NOT WORK, 312 00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,055 BUT YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE IT. 313 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,622 - SORT OF OUT OF OTHER OPTIONS HERE. 314 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,959 - OKAY. 315 00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,094 HUNAN BUTT KICK. 316 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:58,465 - [screams] 317 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,100 [thud] 318 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,301 SEE? YOU WERE RIGHT. 319 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,635 I DIDN'T LIKE IT. 320 00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:05,138 - WOOP-DE-DINGLE-DOO. 321 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,310 - GET THIS MYSTIC SECRET OUT OF--OH! 322 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,545 [grunts] 323 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:15,315 UGH. 324 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,984 - THAT WAS AWESOME. 325 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,485 - HOW WELL MY DEVICE WORKS? 326 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,153 - HOW MUCH IT HURTS YOU. 327 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,989 OKAY, WE'RE ALL SET FOR THE AUCTION. 328 00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:24,024 - STOP RIGHT THERE. - [sighs] 329 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,093 YOU, LIKE, JUST SAID THAT. 330 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:29,997 - HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE FOUND US? 331 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,598 [bamboo squeaks, snaps] 332 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,166 OH. 333 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,602 - I WOULD LIKE MY SECRETS BACK NOW. 334 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,104 - YOU HEARD THE MASTER. 335 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,505 NOW HAND THEM OVER BEFORE-- 336 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:41,108 OH! - HEY! 337 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,611 - TEMUTAI! HUNDUN! FUNG! 338 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,014 AND, UH... 339 00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,116 - [sighs] GAH-RI. 340 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,117 - SORRY. [chuckles] 341 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,751 IT'S BEEN A DAY. 342 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,254 - WELL, I'M AFRAID THERE AREN'T ENOUGH COOKIES FOR EVERY-- 343 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,255 - [grunts] 344 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,191 WE GET TO BID ON THE FIVE GREAT MYSTIC SECRETS 345 00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:02,029 AND SMASH THE DRAGON WARRIOR AND MASTER YAO TO FURRY PULPS? 346 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,031 IT IS GOOD TO BE ALIVE! 347 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,038 - READY TO FIGHT OUR WAY OUT OF THIS? 348 00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,472 - YOU GO AHEAD. 349 00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:16,309 WITHOUT MY SECRETS, I'M USELESS. 350 00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,345 - YAH! RAH! 351 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,149 DRAGON WARRIOR! 352 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,551 I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH THE SMASHING CRUSH 353 00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,287 OF A THOUSAND PAINFUL SMASH-PAINS! 354 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,056 - "SMASH-PAINS"? 355 00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:30,557 YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING ANYMORE. 356 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,359 - MMM. RAH! 357 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,261 - SCREAMING PHOENIX FLIP! - UGH! 358 00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:40,267 - [grunts] 359 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,172 - WHAAA! 360 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:49,509 YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD FOR AN OLD GOAT WHO LIVES IN A BOX. 361 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:52,512 - I AM UNWORTHY OF THE GIFT OF EXISTENCE. 362 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,781 - WHOA! YOU'RE KIND OF A BUMMER, GUY. 363 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,086 - HIYAH! 364 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,353 - [grunts] 365 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,522 - MASTER YAO! - [grunts] 366 00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:09,529 - [groans] 367 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,231 [gasps] 368 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,200 [strained grunts] 369 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:16,836 - THIS FIRST COOKIE CONTAINS THE WINGS OF LIGHT. 370 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,740 HOW MUCH WILL YOU BID FOR THE ABILITY TO FLY LIKE A BIRD 371 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:23,343 BUT WITHOUT THOSE TEDIOUS HOLLOW BONES? 372 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,212 - 3 YUAN. - 5,000 YUAN! 373 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,847 - 6,000 YUAN! 374 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,183 - 4 YUAN. 375 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:32,852 OR IS IT--WAIT. HOW DOES THIS WORK AGAIN? 376 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,854 - MASTER YAO, ARE YOU OKAY? 377 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,556 - [sighs] AS OKAY AS ANYONE 378 00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,626 WHO HAS SPECTACULARLY FAILED AT THEIR LIFE'S WORK. 379 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,261 - YOU HAVEN'T FAILED. 380 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:42,262 YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP. 381 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,697 - FROM WHO? WHO WILL HELP ME? 382 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,699 - ME. IF THERE'S TWO THINGS I KNOW, 383 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,536 IT'S HOW TO HELP FOLKS AND HOW TO GET COOKIES. 384 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,471 - WE'RE CHAINED TO THESE POLES. 385 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:55,408 HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY REACH THEM? 386 00:17:57,777 --> 00:18:00,147 HUNAN BUTT KICK! - WHOA-HO! 387 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:01,648 - 20,000 YUAN! 388 00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:02,815 both: HMM. 389 00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:03,750 - [grunts] 390 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:07,154 - CAN I JUST BUY, LIKE, A BITE OF COOKIE? 391 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,289 YOU KNOW, NOT LIKE, YOU KNOW-- 392 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,491 I DON'T NEED TO FLY AROUND OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 393 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,493 I JUST WANNA JUMP GOOD. 394 00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,728 - [gasps] 395 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,164 - AAH! 396 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:20,433 [grunts] 397 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:24,171 [all grunting] 398 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,309 AH-AH-AH-AH! 399 00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,411 [strained grunts] 400 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,679 YAAH! 401 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,381 HA! 402 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,454 - NO! PO! 403 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,256 THE SECRETS ARE TOO POWERFUL! 404 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,591 YOU'RE NOT READY! 405 00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,426 - READY AS I'LL EVER BE. 406 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,695 [all chomping, gulping] 407 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,438 [large belch] 408 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,273 - I COULD SMELL THAT ONE. - GET HIM! 409 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,375 - WINGS OF LIGHT! 410 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:06,313 [all grunting] 411 00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:09,716 OH, MY GOSH! THIS IS SO AWESOME! 412 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:15,222 - JIN TIAN'S TEMPEST! AAH! 413 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,823 AH! AAH! 414 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:19,826 - HMM. OH! [screams] 415 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,361 - WOW. 416 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:23,230 - GAH! GET OUT OF THE WAY, GARY! 417 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,764 I'M TRYING TO USE THE SPLEEN PUNCH. 418 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,835 - [humming, chuckles] 419 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,770 - [grunts] 420 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,675 - LIKE THE STRENGTH OF A THOUSAND RHINOS 421 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:39,346 MULTIPLYING MY STRENGTH BY A THOUSAND RHINOS! 422 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,248 [grunts] - AAH! 423 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,686 - [screams] 424 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,822 [panting] 425 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,925 - [grunts] - UGH! 426 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:55,762 [all groaning] 427 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,397 - DID YOU SEE THAT? 428 00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,400 DID YOU TOTALLY SEE THAT? 429 00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,402 THESE MYSTIC SECRETS ARE-- I-- 430 00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:04,337 I DON'T EVEN HAVE A WORD FOR IT! 431 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,406 BODACIAWESOME! 432 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:08,775 - THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME, PO. 433 00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:11,611 I THINK WE'VE DISCOVERED YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE. 434 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:15,748 TO POSSESS THE MYSTIC SECRETS AND SUCCEED ME, YES? 435 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,854 - NO, BUT BY HELPING YOU, I DID LEARN WHAT IT IS. 436 00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,457 MY LIFE'S PURPOSE IS TO HELP THOSE THAT NEED HELP 437 00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,959 AND KICK SOME BAD GUY TUSHIE IN THE PROCESS, 438 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:31,398 AND I CAN'T DO THAT FROM INSIDE A BOX. 439 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,534 - YOU ARE VERY WISE, PO. 440 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,570 AND IN THIS CASE, WISER THAN EVEN I AM. 441 00:20:37,604 --> 00:20:39,906 - OH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. [chuckles] 442 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,741 WHAT DO YOU THINK, BIAN ZAO? 443 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,378 - NOWHERE...IS WHERE I WAS GOING. 444 00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:47,480 - I NEED YOU TO USE YOUR MACHINE 445 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,782 AND GIVE MASTER YAO BACK HIS SECRETS. 446 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,951 - AND WHY SHOULD I-- [grunts] 447 00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:55,788 [screams] 448 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,590 AAH! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT! 449 00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,527 [muttering incoherently] 450 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,335 - [groans] JUST GOTTA--WHEW! 451 00:21:08,368 --> 00:21:11,338 - WE'RE HERE! 452 00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:13,473 - WAIT. WHERE'S THE OTHER MASTER? 453 00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:16,343 - I'M LOOKING AT HIM. 454 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,581 - WAIT. WHAT? 455 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,983 YOU SET THIS WHOLE THING UP JUST SO I COULD REALIZE 456 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,652 WHAT MY GOAL IN LIFE IS? 457 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,620 - WELL, LET'S JUST SAY YES. 458 00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,822 OTHERWISE I KIND OF LOOK LIKE A YUTZ. 459 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:33,393 - FAIR ENOUGH. 460 00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:36,429 - I AM VERY GRATEFUL TO YOU, PO. 461 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:39,366 WITHOUT YOU, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN 462 00:21:39,399 --> 00:21:41,368 THE FIVE GREAT MYSTIC-- 463 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:43,470 [gasps] WAIT! 464 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,438 I CAN ONLY REMEMBER FOUR OF THE SECRETS! 465 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,673 - FOUR? 466 00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,541 BUT I GAVE YOU FIVE COOKIES, DIDN'T I? 467 00:21:48,575 --> 00:21:50,943 - I DON'T KNOW! IT'S DARK IN HERE! 468 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,479 [electricity crackles] 469 00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:56,416 - DEFINITELY...NOT LAME. 31232

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