Original subtitles

- WA-CHA! HIYAH!

male announcer: AND NOW,

DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

- [grunts] [gong rings]

* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AHH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *

* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE

* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *

* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *

OOH! AHH! UH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET!

[somber music]

- [stomach rumbles]

- [sighs]

[stomachs rumbling]

[loud rumbling]

- [groans]

FIVE GRAINS OF RICE?

FIVE?

THAT'S WORSE THAN NONE.

- AS LONG AS THE VILLAGE GOES HUNGRY,

WE WILL GO HUNGRY AS WELL.

- YEAH, BUT WHEN I AGREED TO THAT,

I THOUGHT IT MEANT "HUNGRY" NOT "HUNGRY!"

- SORRY, PO, BUT UNTIL WE CATCH THE FOOD BANDITS

AND END THIS FAMINE,

FIVE GRAINS IS ALL THE RICE YOU--

- [drooling]

- YOU'RE SEEING ME AS A GIANT NOODLE AGAIN,

AREN'T YOU?

- SORRY, VIPER.

IT'S JUST THAT I-I NEED FOOD!

- WE ALL DO.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL COMPLAINING ABOUT.

I AM STUFFED.

WHOO!

WHAT? RICE IN MY TEETH?

- [growls]

- PO!

COME WITH ME.

THIS FAMINE IS REACHING A CRITICAL POINT.

I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH LONGER THE VILLAGERS CAN HOLD ON.

- ANY LUCK ON FIGURING OUT

WHO'S STEALING THE FOOD, MASTER SHIFU?

- UNFORTUNATELY NOT.

BUT WE DO HAVE A SHORT-TERM SOLUTION

TO THE VALLEY'S...

- [drooling, sniffing] - TROUBLES.

- YOU'RE SEEING ME AS A GIANT RICE BALL AGAIN, AREN'T YOU?

- AHH...

A DEVILISHLY HANDSOME GIANT RICE BALL.

- A NEWCOMER, MADAME ZHOU,

HAS DONATED A SHIPMENT OF RICE TO THE VILLAGE.

I'M SENDING YOU TO PROTECT THAT RICE.

- BY EATING IT?

'CAUSE THEN IT'LL BE IN OUR STOMACHS

AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO--

I'M OPEN TO OTHER SUGGESTIONS.

- COME ON, PO.

IF YOU KEEP STOPPING TO LICK ROCKS,

WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET THERE.

- IT'S THE NEXT BEST THING TO EATING.

SOME OF THESE ROCKS TASTE PRETTY GOOD.

[satisfied groaning]

AGH!

AND THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE ROCKS.

WHOA!

MADAME ZHOU MUST BE RICHER

THAN LYCHEE NUT PUDDING IN A BROWN SUGAR DEMIGLACE.

- WE GET IT. YOU'RE HUNGRY.

- [knocks]

- OOH! COMPANY'S HERE.

WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME.

IT'S SO NICE TO SEE NEW FACES.

I DO GET SO LONELY OUT HERE ON MY OWN.

I'M MADAME ZHOU.

- OOF!

- OH, AND YOU'RE THE MIGHTY DRAGON WARRIOR,

SOLE PROTECTOR OF THE VALLEY OF PEACE.

- WELL, I MEAN, I--

HA, NOT REALLY THE SOLE PROTECTOR.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN

AND SEE SOME PORTRAITS OF MY GRANDCHILDREN?

- UH, SOUNDS GREAT, REALLY,

BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET THAT RICE BACK TO THE VILLAGE.

- OH, DON'T GO YET.

HAVE YOU EATEN?

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF PREPARING A SMALL LUNCH.

[laughs]

- [gasps]

UNTIL NOW, I DIDN'T KNOW MY EYES WERE HUNGRY TOO.

- PO, HONOR DEMANDS THAT WE NOT EAT

WHILE THE VILLAGE STARVES.

- HONOR DEMANDS THAT I NOT STARVE

WHILE MY STOMACH EATS.

- THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

- YOU'RE RIGHT. I MUST BE DELIRIOUS.

SHOULD PROBABLY EAT SOMETHING.

[groans]

- RATS. - I KNOW, I WAS SO CLOSE!

- NO, PO, RATS!

- [shudders]

- OOH, JADE PALACE WARRIORS.

HOW VERY WHIMSICAL.

[squeaks]

WHY SO SAD?

IS THE CHUNKY PANDA HUNGRY?

- HEY, BUDDY, I'VE LOST ALMOST TWO POUNDS

SINCE THIS FAMINE BEGAN.

THESE ARE MY SKINNY PANTS.

- YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEEN STEALING THE VILLAGE'S FOOD.

- AND YOU'RE THE ONES WHO ARE GOING TO TRY AND STOP ME.

WELL, HERE WE ALL ARE. TRY AND STOP ME.

- [horrified gasp]

NO ONE HURTS FOOD ON MY WATCH!

[groans]

- [gasps]

- [grunting]

- DUMPLING?

- [drooling]

MMM.

- HIYA!

YOU SHOULD LEARN SOME SELF CONTROL.

YOU MIGHT LIVE LONGER.

LEAVE THE RICE TO US OR MY BROTHERS AND I

WILL MAKE THINGS UNPLEASANT FOR YOU.

- LOOK AROUND, RAT BOY,

YOUR BROTHERS HAVE ALREADY GIVEN UP.

- TRUE.

GOOD THING I HAVE SISTERS.

[laughs]

[laughs maniacally]

- UH, LOVELY FAMILY. - [humming]

- [laughs maniacally]

- [groans]

[all grunting]

- YAH! - [screams]

HELP! SOMEONE HELP!

- [grunts]

YOU WIN THIS ONE, PANDA.

BUT WHAT WILL YOU EAT AFTER WE STEAL

THE REST OF THE VALLEY'S FOOD,

YOUR MONKEY FRIEND WITH MUSTARD SAUCE?

[laughs]

MUSTARD SAUCE!

- RELAX, MONKEY. YOU'RE MY BUDDY.

[under breath] MY DELICIOUS, TASTY BUDDY.

- YOU SAVED ME FROM THAT AWFUL RAT.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

- YOU REALLY ARE LONELY, AREN'T YOU?

- THEY TOOK THE RICE.

- OH, THIS IS JUST DREADFUL.

I'M SO VERY SORRY.

I'LL SEND TO ANOTHER PROVINCE FOR MORE AT ONCE.

- MANY THANKS, MADAME ZHOU.

- COME ON, WE NEED TO TELL MASTER SHIFU

ABOUT THOSE RATS.

- YOU SHOULD STOP BY FOR A SNACK ANYTIME YOU LIKE.

- REALLY?

[sighs] I WOULD, BUT--

- IT'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.

- PO, LET'S GO.

- COMING!

- THE RATS YOU FACED ARE CALLED THE LAO SHU.

[all gasp]

- HOW COME EVERYONE BUT ME ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT STUFF MEANS?

- THE LAO SHU ARE A BAND OF RENEGADES

THAT NUMBER IN THE HUNDREDS, PERHAPS THE THOUSANDS.

THEIR LEADER, JU-LONG,

IS AS DEADLY AS HE IS UNBALANCED.

[coins jingling]

MONEY MEANS NOTHING TO HIM.

HE INFLICTS SUFFERING AND CHAOS

JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT.

[boom]

- [screaming]

- HE'S USUALLY SUCCESSFUL AT CAUSING BOTH.

THESE VILLAINS ARE UNLIKE ANY YOU HAVE FACED.

GET SOME REST. TOMORROW, WE TRAIN.

- [stomach rumbling]

[groans]

AGH!

THIS IS WRONG, THIS IS WRONG, THIS IS WRONG!

[stomach growls]

THIS IS WRONGISH, THIS IS WRONGISH,

THIS IS WRONGISH.

[stomach growls]

- YOU MADE IT.

- YOU KNOW, FOR AN OLDER LADY, YOU'RE PRETTY SPRY.

- I JUST GET EXCITED TO SEE ANYBODY,

AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.

HA, I FEEL...SPECIAL.

- YOU LIKE?

- [drooling]

- I WAS SO AFRAID YOU WOULDN'T COME,

WHAT WITH THE VILLAGERS STARVING AND ALL.

- [drooling]

AH, THIS WAS A MISTAKE. I SHOULDN'T BE--

- STUFFED FIG?

[dreamy music]

*

- [humming]

YEAH, I CAN STAY FOR A BIT.

[weak groaning]

- MORE RICE WAS STOLEN LAST NIGHT.

FIGHT THROUGH THE HUNGER.

THE LAO SHU WON'T CARE YOU HAVEN'T EATEN.

NEITHER SHOULD...

- [grunting powerfully]

- YOU.

- [laughs maniacally]

- [gulping]

MMM.

[gulping]

[rice grains clink]

- THIS ONE IS A DUMPLING STUFFED INSIDE ANOTHER DUMPLING.

- OOH, A DUH-DUMPLING.

OH, YEAH.

- [sighs]

I'VE LOCATED THE LAST RICE STOREHOUSE

IN THE VALLEY OF PEACE.

- [scatting cheerfully] - NO DOUBT JU-LONG WILL--

PANDA!

- [scatting]

- STAKE OUT THAT STOREHOUSE

AND CATCH THE LAO SHU IN THE ACT.

MEET UP AT 7:00.

- UH, 7:00? TONIGHT? REALLY?

- DO YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BE?

- [scoffs] NO, OF COURSE NOT.

I JUST WANNA BE PROMPT.

"PROMPT PO," THAT'S-- THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL ME.

- NO ONE CALLS YOU THAT.

- MAYBE THEY SHOULD. - UGH.

- IT SEEMS YOU'RE GETTING BETTER AT DEALING WITH YOUR HUNGER.

- UH, YEAH.

I TOOK IT TO A WHOLE NEW, YOU KNOW, BRAIN LEVEL.

IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY ANYMORE.

- I'M PROUD OF YOU, PANDA.

YOU'VE FINALLY MASTERED YOUR IMPULSES

INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM MASTER YOU.

WELL DONE.

- [nervous chuckle]

[sighs]

MADAME ZHOU!

SORRY I'M EARLY, BUT--

- [groans] - YOU OKAY?

- I AM NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE.

I PREPARED SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU.

- UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN'T STAY.

WE'RE STAKING OUT THE STOREHOUSE

TO KEEP JU-LONG FROM STEALING THE RICE.

AND IT'S NOT JUST THAT.

I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE COMING HERE AT ALL,

WHICH IS-- WHAT IS THAT?

- I CALL IT "CAVALCADE OF DUMPLINGS."

- [squeals]

- [whispering] 8:00, AND NO SIGN OF JU-LONG.

- OR PROMPT PO.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'D LET THE VILLAGERS DOWN LIKE THIS.

- HE'LL BE HERE.

HE'S PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

- FORGET ABOUT PO. JUST STAY ALERT.

WE CAN'T LET JU-LONG GET THE DROP ON US.

- OOPSY DAISY!

TOO LATE.

BUT HEY, AT LEAST WE GOT TO SPEND

SOME QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.

[laughs maniacally]

[all groaning]

- GUYS, WHAT HAPPENED?

- WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?

- ME?

OH, I MUST HAVE GOTTEN MY STOREHOUSES MIXED UP,

AND I--

[slurping]

OKAY, I WENT TO MADAME ZHOU'S,

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

SHE'S ALL ALONE OUT THERE,

AND I WENT TO KEEP HER COMPANY.

- OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF YOUR HEART?

- YES?

- AND NOT TO STUFF YOUR FACE WITH FOOD?

- UH, DID I EAT?

I'M NOT SURE IF FOOD ACTUALLY TOUCHED MY--

- PLUM SAUCE ON YOUR ELBOW,

BEAN PASTE ON YOUR CHIN,

A DUMPLING BETWEEN YOUR TOES.

- DUDE, SERIOUSLY, YOU EAT LIKE A BEAR.

- SO YOU ATE WHILE THE VALLEY STARVES

AND YOUR FRIENDS WERE ATTACKED.

- DID YOU AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY

TO BRING BACK SOME FOOD WITH YOU?

- YES!

FOOT DUMPLING?

- DUDE.

- MONKEY! GUYS!

MASTER!

- EVERY TIME YOU GO MISSING,

THE LAO SHU RAID OUR RICE STORES.

- BUT MASTER SHIFU, I--

- BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISHNESS,

LAST NIGHT, JU-LONG STOLE THE LAST OF THE FOOD.

HUNGER IS THE NEW MASTER OF THE VALLEY OF PEACE.

- MMM. [chewing]

- YOU'RE STILL A PRISONER OF YOUR IMPULSES, PO.

UNTIL YOU KNOW AND ACCEPT YOUR WEAKNESSES,

SELFISHNESS WILL REMAIN YOUR MASTER.

- [swallows]

MADAME ZHOU?

IT'S PO.

HUH.

MADAME ZHOU, ARE YOU HERE?

WE HAVE TO TAKE YOUR DUMPLINGS AND FIGS

AND EVERYTHING TO THE VILLAGE.

IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO-- [crunch]

RICE?

[knocks]

I'M COMING IN!

THE DOOR WAS OPEN.

HUH, THE TRAIL JUST STOPS.

[mechanical crank]

[machinery rumbling]

[gasps]

THE RICE!

JU-LONG'S BEEN HERE.

MADAME ZHOU! MADAME--OOF!

- OOH!

- OH, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE OKAY.

YOU'RE IN DANGER.

JU-LONG HID THE STOLEN RICE HERE.

- WELL, OF COURSE HE DID.

HE DID STEAL IT FOR ME, AFTER ALL.

STUFFED FIG?

- [drooling]

HOW'S THAT NOW?

- NOW I CAN SELL THE RICE FOR A TIDY PROFIT.

HOW ABOUT SOME PUDDING?

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

I JUST SAW JU-LONG ATTACKING YOU.

- OH, THAT WAS HIS IDEA.

SOMETHING ABOUT DIVERTING SUSPICION OFF OF ME.

LET ME SEE ABOUT THAT PUDDING.

- ENOUGH WITH THE PUDDING.

JUST SO I'M CLEAR, YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS.

- UH-HUH.

- AND YOU'VE BEEN FEEDING ME

SO I'D COME AND SPEND MY TIME WITH YOU.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

- AND YOU'RE WILLING TO LET INNOCENT VILLAGERS STARVE

JUST SO YOU CAN MAKE SOME MONEY?

- EXACTLY.

WE'RE NOT THAT DIFFERENT, PO.

I LOVE MONEY AND YOU LOVE FOOD.

HERE, HAVE ANOTHER DUMPLING.

- MADAME ZHOU, YOU ARE NOT NICE.

- OH, NOT EVEN A LITTLE.

I'M SURPRISED IT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

- BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

COME ON, I HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO JAIL.

- OH, PO, I'M AFRAID THAT'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM.

- COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

- I AM OUT.

- OH, REALLY? HOW'S THE VIEW?

- [groans]

- AFTER YOU GET RID OF HIM, WE'LL HAVE ALMOND CAKE.

BYE, PO.

- STILL THINKING ABOUT FOOD AT A TIME LIKE THIS?

AND THEY CALL ME CRAZY.

BOYS!

[humming]

- [groaning]

- WHAT A GREAT FIGHT.

AND THESE SEATS, WOW!

I CAN HARDLY WAIT FOR THE BIG FINALE.

- BIG FINALE?

- [groans] - [laughs]

- [grunting]

- STICK AND MOVE. HA HA!

- OW!

AHH!

[groaning]

- WOW.

- OW.

[grunting]

[straining]

[rice shifting]

- IMPRESSIVE!

YOU DESERVE A PRESENT.

HOW ABOUT A PANDA SKIN RUG?

HA HA!

- WAH!

[groans]

- A WISE MAN ONCE SAID, "AAH, RATS!"

[laughs]

[echoing clang]

- THANKS FOR YOUR HELP JU-LONG,

BUT YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED.

OH, AND TRY NOT TO DIE ALL OVER THE RICE.

LOWERS THE VALUE.

TA!

[lock clicks]

- [grunts]

- [laughs]

- WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

SHE JUST DOUBLE-CROSSED YOU.

- NO, I DOUBLE-CROSSED HER.

SHE'S NOT GONNA MAKE A DIME ON THIS RICE

BECAUSE I RIGGED IT ALL TO EXPLODE.

[laughs maniacally]

- [laughs]

NO WAY.

SHE'LL NEVER SEE THAT COMING.

OH, MAN!

WHEN'S IT GONNA BLOW UP?

- ANY TIME NOW.

[laughs]

[both laugh]

both: UH...

[both screaming]

- ONE...

TWO...

AND NOW!

[crackling]

[explosion]

- YOU BOYS ARE RESILIENT.

HEY, DID YOU KNOW I WAS ONCE KNOWN

AS MASTER OF THE IRON WHIP?

HIYA!

[grunting]

- AH, WHOA.

- OH!

DUMPLING?

- SORRY, LADY.

FOOD ISN'T MY MASTER ANYMORE.

I AM.

- OH, DARN.

- WOW, YOU HAVE SUCH BLUE EYES.

[all eating noisily]

- HEY, GUYS.

LOOK, I KNOW I MESSED UP.

I LET YOU AND THE VALLEY DOWN

ALL FOR SOME STUFFED FIGS AND DUMPLINGS,

WHICH, IN MY DEFENSE, WERE DELICIOUS.

NOT THAT THAT MATTERS.

ANYWAY, I'M SORRY.

GUESS I'M GONNA GO.

- PANDA, WHY DON'T YOU JOIN US?

- REALLY? AWESOME!

[sniffs, gags]

FOOT DUMPLINGS?

- MADE THEM MYSELF.

[laughter]

- MMM. [all groan in disgust]