All language subtitles for Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness (2011aa) - S03E05 - A Thousand and Twenty Questions (1080p WEB-DL x265 RCVR)_track3_[eng]
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1
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- WA-CHA!
HI-YAAH!
2
00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,806
male announcer:
AND NOW
3
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,677
DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA:
LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.
4
00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,579
- [grunts]
[gong rings]
5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,049
* HEAR THE LEGENDS
OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *
6
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,751
[scatting]
7
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,653
* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP
8
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,389
* NEVER SEEKING
GLORY OR FAME *
9
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,723
* HE CLIMBED
THE MOUNTAINTOP *
10
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,059
* AND EARNED
THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *
11
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,227
OOH! AHH! YAH!
12
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,196
* KUNG FU PANDA
13
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,132
[scatting]
14
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,135
* MASTER SHIFU
SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *
15
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,605
* AND MASTER THE SKILLS
OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *
16
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,173
* KUNG FU PANDA
17
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,243
[scatting]
18
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,378
* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS
AND HE FIGHTS *
19
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,180
* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE
20
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,681
* PROTECT THE VALLEY,
SOMETHING, SOMETHING *
21
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,183
* SOMETHING,
SOMETHING ALIVE *
22
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,618
OOH! AHH! UH!
23
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,155
* KUNG FU PANDA
24
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,623
* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS
25
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,790
SWEET!
26
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,731
[exotic flute music]
27
00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:10,238
*
28
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,307
- [panting]
29
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,443
[footsteps approaching]
30
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,245
[panting]
31
00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,712
- [slurps]
32
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,650
- [panting]
MESSAGE FOR MASTER SHIFU!
33
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:27,155
[gasping]
34
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,158
- WHOA, WHOA, BIG BREATHS.
- [gasping]
35
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,327
- JUST A MESSAGE,
NO NEED TO RUSH.
36
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,296
- WHAT IF IT'S
AN URGENT MESSAGE?
37
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,730
- OH, MY GOSH,
SHE'S TOTALLY RIGHT!
38
00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,166
IS IT?
39
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,333
OKAY, UM, BREATHE ONCE
FOR NOT URGENT,
40
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,901
TWICE FOR URGENT.
41
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,304
- [gasps]
- WHEW!
42
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,405
- [gasps]
- URGENT!
43
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,739
- [gasping]
44
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,275
- YEAH, NOW YOU'RE
JUST CONFUSING EVERYBODY.
45
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,178
- [panting]
FROM MASTER YAO.
46
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,779
- YAO? YOU MEAN---?
47
00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,182
- THE SUPER SMART, AWESOMELY
POWERFUL KUNG FU MASTER
48
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,450
WHO SPENDS ALL HIS TIME
IN A MEDITATION BOX?
49
00:01:56,484 --> 00:02:00,588
- I WAS GONNA SAY
"SHIFU'S MAN-CRUSH," BUT YEAH.
50
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,291
- MASTER YAO?
DID HE WRITE MY NAME HIMSELF?
51
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,326
BECAUSE THAT WOULD REALLY
BE SOMETHING FOR MY SCRAPBOOK--
52
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,596
I MEAN, PERSONAL ARCHIVES.
[gasps]
53
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,199
- WHAT IS IT?
54
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,435
- HE'S--HE'S COMING BACK, HERE.
TO THE JADE PALACE.
55
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,703
- WHO?
- YAO.
56
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,305
- NO!
- YES.
57
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,439
- YAO?
- YAO.
58
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,540
- WHEN?
- TODAY.
59
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,708
- NO!
- YES.
60
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,276
- NO!
- [flatly] YES.
61
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,811
- NO!
62
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,214
- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
63
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,249
[door creaking]
64
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:37,791
BUT THIS IS SO SUDDEN!
WE HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO PREPARE!
65
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,362
- MASTER YAO REQUIRES ONLY
A SMALL RECEIVING AREA
66
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:45,633
FOR TOMORROW'S
WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE.
67
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,236
- MASTER YAO HAS GRACIOUSLY
OFFERED TO SHARE THE KNOWLEDGE
68
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,704
HIS YEARS OF MEDITATION
HAVE GIVEN HIM.
69
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,574
- TOMORROW,
FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET,
70
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:57,345
ANYONE WHO BRINGS THE MASTER
A NEW WONDER TO EXPERIENCE--
71
00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,381
SOME UNIQUE SIGHT,
SOUND, SMELL, OR TASTE--
72
00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,351
WILL BE PERMITTED
TO ASK A SINGLE QUESTION
73
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,253
OF HIS VAST WISDOM.
74
00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,422
- WAIT. SO WE BRING MASTER YAO
SOMETHING SMELLY OR WHATEVER,
75
00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,991
AND WE CAN
ASK HIM ANYTHING?
76
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,260
- YES.
- YAO?
77
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,494
- YES.
- NO!
78
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,829
- STOP THAT!
- WHO?
79
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,266
- THIS IS AWESOME!
80
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,534
I'VE GOT, LIKE,
A BILLION QUESTIONS TO ASK!
81
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:24,004
WHERE DO I EVEN START?
SEE? THAT'S ANOTHER ONE!
82
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,308
- FORGET IT, PO, THIS EVENT
IS GOING TO BE A MADHOUSE.
83
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,777
- C'MON, ALL YOUR
BURNING QUESTIONS ANSWERED?
84
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,379
HOW GREAT IS THAT?
85
00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:35,549
- I DON'T HAVE
BURNING QUESTIONS.
86
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,518
MASTER SHIFU,
I REALLY DON'T THINK--
87
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,387
- "MASTER YAO, WHAT DO YOU
LOOK FOR IN A BESTIE?"
88
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,888
NO, TOO AGGRESSIVE.
89
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,757
"IN A KUNG FU COMPANION?"
BETTER.
90
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,526
- THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!
- I KNOW.
91
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,462
- MM-HMM.
92
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:54,402
[clanging]
93
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:58,706
- DAD! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
CAN'T YOU FAIL QUIETER?
94
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,709
- THAT'S THE SOUND
OF IMPENDING VENGEANCE, SON.
95
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,912
BEHOLD, THE SPHERE
OF UNERRINGLY ACC--
96
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:08,982
- [groans]
97
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,651
- ARE YOU DONE WITH--?
98
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,922
- [long groan]
99
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:22,596
[groan continues]
100
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,466
- SO IT'S MY TURN
TO TALK AGAI--
101
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,334
- [groans]
102
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,735
- THE SPHERE OF--
- [sharp groan]
103
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,504
- CAN I AT LEAST
FINISH THE NAME?
104
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,606
- I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DAD.
105
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,375
YOU'VE BEEN MESSING
WITH THE SAME
106
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,610
LAME ULTIMATE WEAPON
FOR YEARS.
107
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,945
IT NEVER WORKS.
108
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,613
- ONE TWEAK AWAY, MY BOY.
109
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,350
ONE TWEAK FROM
MECHANIZED PERFECTION.
110
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,485
ONE TWEAK FROM
THE FURIOUS FIVE'S
111
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,921
TOTAL HUMILIATION AND RUIN!
112
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,392
[rumbling]
113
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,426
UNH!
114
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,362
I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHICH TWEAK.
115
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,796
OW! OW! OW!
116
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,498
OW!
117
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,033
- AND MASTER YAO WILL REALLY
ANSWER ANY QUESTION?
118
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,102
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT
THE POSTER SAYS.
119
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,104
I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T BELIEVE
IN POSTERS ANY MORE,
120
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,674
WHAT CAN YOU BELIEVE IN?
121
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,514
- "WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE,"
HUH?
122
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:18,486
THIS COULD BE QUITE OPPORTUNE.
QUITE OPPORTUNE, INDEED.
123
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,621
OPPORTUNE, DO YOU HEAR?
124
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:24,558
[evil laughter]
125
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,972
- WE ARE READY TO BEGIN
THE WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE,
126
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:42,543
MASTER YAO.
127
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,012
- WHOO-HOO! I FEEL TINGLY
WITH ANTICIPATION!
128
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,414
HOW WONDERFUL!
129
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,850
HAS ANYONE COME
SEEKING ANSWERS YET?
130
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,421
[indistinct chatter]
131
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:58,559
- [grunting excitedly]
132
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,562
- MASTER YAO--
- HEY! NO CUTSIES!
133
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,665
- AH! OF COURSE.
MASTER TIGRESS.
134
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,434
- I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION,
I JUST--
135
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,436
MASTER,
PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS.
136
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,438
THERE'S TOO BIG A CROWD.
IT'S NOT SAFE.
137
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,572
I'M JUST SCARED THAT--
138
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,073
- OH, I DON'T THINK
ASKING QUESTIONS
139
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,476
IS ANYTHING
TO BE AFRAID OF.
140
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,544
DO YOU?
141
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,512
- WHAT? NO. I JUST---
142
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:19,680
- UNH!
- [groans]
143
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,848
- MASTER YAO,
AWESOME TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
144
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,915
HUGE FAN OF...
145
00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,717
MEDITATION AND...
146
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,519
KNOWING STUFF.
147
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:30,524
- SPLENDID! HAVE YOU BROUGHT
A NEW WONDER TO SHARE WITH ME?
148
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,693
- SNIFF A WHIFF, MY FRIEND.
149
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,763
FRESHLY. GRATED. GINGER.
BOOM.
150
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,930
- [sniffs loudly]
151
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,100
DELIGHTFUL! VERY GOOD.
NOW YOUR QUESTION?
152
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,036
- OKAY. SO, SAY AN ICE DEMON
MARRIES A FIRE DEMON
153
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,572
AND THEY HAVE A BABY.
154
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,874
WOULD IT BE, LIKE,
JUST AN ORDINARY WATER DEMON
155
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,910
OR SOME KIND OF
STEAM DEMON?
156
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:54,047
- [sighs]
157
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,517
- DID YOU WANT US TO SAVE YOU
A SPOT IN LINE, TIGRESS?
158
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,587
- I TOLD YOU, I DON'T HAVE
A QUESTION FOR MASTER YAO.
159
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,789
BESIDES, SOMEBODY HAS TO KEEP
AN EYE OUT FOR THREATS.
160
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,591
- AN ALL-KNOWING MASTER
CAN HARDLY BE
161
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,225
TAKEN BY SURPRISE,
TIGRESS.
162
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,359
WHAT'S REALLY TROUBLING YOU?
163
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,597
- [giggling] EXCUSE ME.
LOT OF QUESTIONS. MAKE A HOLE.
164
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:13,100
- NOTHING.
I'M JUST DOING OUR JOB.
165
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,169
- COME, COME, WHO IS NEXT?
166
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,639
- I BRING YOU STEAMED APPLES
WITH HONEY.
167
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:22,776
- I COLLECT PIECES OF BAMBOO
THAT LOOK LIKE FAMOUS PEOPLE.
168
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,512
THIS ONE IS MANTIS.
169
00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,345
- HEY!
170
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:29,116
- THE SOUND OF ONE HAND
CLAPPING, HUH?
171
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,552
- UH, DO BUTTERFLIES REMEMBER
172
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,621
WHAT IT WAS LIKE
TO BE A CATERPILLAR?
173
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,689
- WILL I EVER KNOW LOVE?
174
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,626
- DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED?
175
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,529
- [whimpers]
176
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,996
- BEHOLD, THE WONDER OF--
177
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933
- A VILLAINOUS INVENTOR
IN A CHEAP NOVELTY DISGUISE!
178
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:46,934
I LOVE IT!
179
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,138
VERY GOOD.
NOW, YOUR QUESTION.
180
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,140
- I WAS GOING
TO SHOW YOU...MY...
181
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,643
[nervous laugh]
YEAH, OKAY, OKAY. GREAT.
182
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,646
SO I HAVE THIS SPHERE
OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE--
183
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,714
- I AM AWARE
OF YOUR ULTIMATE WEAPON.
184
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,585
YOU WISH TO KNOW
WHY IT IS NOT YET WORKING?
185
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,187
- OH, NO, NO.
I-I CAN HANDLE IT MYSELF.
186
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:11,191
I JUST, UM--
IT'S THE ROD CALIBRATION, RIGHT?
187
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,192
- NO.
188
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,627
- [smacks forehead]
189
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,995
- THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING
190
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,565
IN THE WONDER
AND WISDOM EXCHANGE!
191
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,299
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!
192
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,571
- WHAT? NO! ONE MORE GUESS!
THE PRESSURE REGULATOR?
193
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,073
THE POKE-JAB MATRIX?
- [groans]
194
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,909
CAN'T YOU JUST TELL HIM SO HE
STOPS EMBARRASSING ALL OF US?
195
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,878
- RULES, YOUNG BIAN ZAO.
196
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,713
IF YOU WOULD
HAVE AN ANSWER,
197
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,649
YOU MUST PRESENT
A NEW WONDER.
198
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,219
- BEHOLD,
THE STENCH OF FAILURE.
199
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,089
- [sniffs loudly]
PUNGENT! VERY GOOD.
200
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,591
[clears throat]
201
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,593
YOU MUST CORRECT
FOR THE SPHERE'S OBLONG ROTATION
202
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,895
BY ADJUSTING THE FIFTH,
SIXTH, AND NINTH RODS
203
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,698
FROM THE BASE
UNTIL THEY REACH A CONCAVITY
204
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:54,334
SIMILAR TO THE OFFSET
CREATED BY YOUR CONTROL SEAT.
205
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,070
- OF COURSE! I MEAN, I WOULD'VE
GOTTEN THERE EVENTUALLY.
206
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,707
TOTALLY HEADED
IN THAT DIRECTION.
207
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,744
YOU'VE HUMILIATED ME
FOR THE LAST TIME, FURIOUS FIVE!
208
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:07,781
TODAY, TAOTIE PROVES THAT
TECHNOLOGY IS THE TRUE MASTER,
209
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,050
AND KUNG FU IS STUP--
210
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,619
- HI-YAAH!
- UNH!
211
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,355
- HUNH!
- OW! OH! AAH!
212
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,925
- BEES.
SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S THEIR DEAL?
213
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,627
- WHOA!
214
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,628
- AAH!
215
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,263
- I BROUGHT THE MASTER
A CURVED PIECE OF WOOD.
216
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,297
- COOL.
217
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,699
- AAH! WHOA!
218
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,300
UNH!
219
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,736
AAH!
220
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,705
[fading shout]
221
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,941
- WHAT DID YOU DO?
222
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,709
- TIGRESS!
WHAT'S HAPPENED?
223
00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:40,347
- I DON'T KNOW,
WHY DON'T YOU ASK MASTER YAO?
224
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,752
- OKAY, BUT IT'LL HAVE TO BE
SOMEBODY ELSE'S QUESTION,
225
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,655
'CAUSE I ALREADY
HAVE GOT A BEE THING.
226
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,127
- WHATEVER.
I GUESS I'LL JUST WALK BACK
227
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,129
FROM THE JADE PALACE.
228
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,231
- AND JUST IN TIME
FOR THE TEST RUN!
229
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,701
LUCKY YOU!
230
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,772
- [groans]
WHY AM I EVEN SARCASTIC?
231
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,139
[creaking]
232
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,175
[whirring]
233
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,610
[hissing]
234
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,683
- HA!
THE OLD FOOL WAS RIGHT!
235
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,187
- THEN HOW IS HE A FOOL?
DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF?
236
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,290
- PREPARE FOR YOUR
ULTIMATE RUIN, FURIOUS FIVE!
237
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,325
FOR TODAY, YOU FACE...
238
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:29,362
THE SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY
ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE!
239
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,364
[laughs]
240
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,301
[creaking]
241
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,371
[evil laughter]
242
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,116
- AGAIN, PO?
243
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,284
I'VE ONLY ASKED SEVENTEEN
OF MY QUESTIONS!
244
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,820
HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED
THE SUBSECTION
245
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,688
ON ACTION FIGURE
MAINTENANCE.
246
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,823
- YOU'D BETTER HURRY.
247
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,825
IT'S STARTING
TO GET UGLY UP THERE.
248
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,127
- DID THOSE TWO JUST SHOW
MASTER YAO A PEONY BLOSSOM?
249
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:00,994
- THAT'S COMPLETELY UNFAIR!
250
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,295
- THAT WAS GOING TO BE
MY WONDER!
251
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:06,734
[overlapping argument]
252
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,369
- I GOT IT!
253
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,772
MASTER YAO, HAVE YOU
EVER BEEN HIT IN THE FACE
254
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:12,973
WITH A WAR HAMMER?
255
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,007
- OOH!
256
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,408
[everyone talking at once]
257
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,879
- OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE.
258
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,248
[hollow thud]
259
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,752
HAH!
- HOW THRILLING!
260
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,319
[crowd yelling]
261
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,988
WOO-HOO-HOO!
262
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,157
- MASTER YAO?
IS IT SUNDOWN ALREADY?
263
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,759
UNH!
264
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,328
- [laughs]
THIS RESCUE IS MARVELOUS!
265
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,831
WOO-HOO-HOO!
266
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,400
- [panting]
WHOA!
267
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,770
- I'M AFRAID
YOU'RE GOING NOWHERE!
268
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,905
[panicked screams]
269
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,240
EXCEPT ON A VERY
SHORT JOURNEY
270
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,210
TO THE LAND
OF DEFEAT AND SHAME!
271
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,412
- WE'RE GETTING NEIGHBORS?
272
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,816
- WE ARE ROLLING
TO THE VALLEY OF VICTORY,
273
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,386
ON BOARD THE SPHERE OF
UNERRINGLY ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE!
274
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,391
- YOU MADE
A RIDING MASSAGE BALL?
275
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,093
- IT'S NOT A MASSAGE BALL!
276
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,796
IT'S A WEAPON
OF UNSPEAKABLE TERROR!
277
00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,463
- HEY, SEND SOME
UNSPEAKABLE TERROR
278
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,132
TO MY LOWER LUMBAR REGION.
279
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,801
I GOT A KNOT
LIKE NOBODY'S--
280
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:14,968
AAH! HUH?
281
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,937
UNH!
282
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:17,938
WHAT? OW!
283
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,072
[repeated slapping]
284
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,441
OW! STOP--OW!
HITTING--OW!--ME!
285
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,276
AAH!
286
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,277
- OOH!
287
00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,278
- [gasps]
288
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,279
- [grunts]
289
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,816
- [grunting]
290
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,852
[all grunting]
291
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,087
- [laughs]
292
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,455
- ENOUGH!
293
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,958
- WHOA!
294
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,460
- HI-YAAH!
295
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,396
- I'VE SPENT YEARS MAKING
DETAILED PRESSURE POINT CHARTS
296
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,232
ON EACH ONE OF YOU!
297
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,968
WITH ONE STRIKE
FROM MY UNERRINGLY ACCURATE
298
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,237
ACUPRESSURE RODS,
I CAN FORCE MANTIS
299
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,840
TO SPIN LIKE
A CHILD'S TOY!
300
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:56,176
- WHOOOAA!
301
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,980
- PRETZEL-IZE VIPER.
- UNH!
302
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,583
- DANCE THE MONKEY.
- DI, DI, DOO!
303
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,353
- BLADDER CONTROL!
304
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,090
IN SHORT, I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT
WEAPON TO DEFEAT YOU.
305
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,026
YOU!
306
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,130
- [laughs]
307
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,269
I HAVE NEVER HIDDEN OUT
FROM AN ANGRY MOB BEFORE!
308
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,939
WHAT A WONDROUS NEW EXPERIENCE
YOU HAVE GIVEN ME!
309
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,309
VERY GOOD.
NOW, YOUR QUESTION?
310
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,312
- WHAT? I DIDN'T COME TO YOU
FOR A QUESTION.
311
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,548
- YES. MASTER SHIFU,
THE DRAGON WARRIOR,
312
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:39,286
AND THE REST OF THE FURIOUS FIVE
ALL TOOK ME UP ON MY OFFER,
313
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,221
YET YOU DID NOT.
314
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,156
WHY IS THIS, I WONDER?
315
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:47,160
- I KEEP TELLING EVERYONE,
I DON'T HAVE ANY QUESTIONS.
316
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:52,165
- OF COURSE YOU DO.
"IS MASTER SHIFU PROUD OF ME?"
317
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:56,236
"AM I PERFORMING THE DIPPING
PHOENIX TWIST KICK CORRECTLY?"
318
00:13:56,269 --> 00:14:01,208
"WHY AM I SO ANGRY
SO OFTEN?"
319
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,912
AAH! I HAVE SURPRISED YOU.
320
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,580
THEN PERHAPS YOU
WILL ANSWER ME A QUESTION.
321
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,518
WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO ASK
WHAT YOU WISH TO KNOW?
322
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,987
- I...I...
323
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:14,988
- [shrieks]
324
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,523
- PO?
325
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,093
- AH! THAT IMPETUOUS SCOUNDREL
TAOTIE HAS TAKEN THE JADE PALACE
326
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,229
WITH HIS MIGHTY NEW WEAPON.
327
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,032
- YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?
- I KNOW EVERYTHING.
328
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,099
- STAY OUT OF SIGHT!
329
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,500
I'LL BE BACK
AFTER I'VE RESCUED THEM!
330
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,271
- THIS WOULD BE MOST UNWISE,
AND ENTIRELY UNSUCCESSFUL.
331
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,940
- WHAT?
332
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,977
- THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY FOR YOU
TO DEFEAT TAOTIE'S MACHINE.
333
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,079
- AND THAT WOULD BE--?
334
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,181
- I WILL BE HAPPY
TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION.
335
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,952
AS SOON AS YOU BRING ME
A NEW WONDER TO EXPERIENCE.
336
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,955
- WHAT? I--
[growls]
337
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:48,956
HERE!
338
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,591
- I HAVE SEEN ROCKS BEFORE.
339
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,961
- THIS ONE'S...GRAY?
340
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,962
- OOH! GOOD!
341
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:59,266
BUT, I'VE SEEN THAT, TOO.
342
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,102
- [evil laugh]
343
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,972
all: AAH! OW! OW!
344
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,307
- [growls]
- HI-YAAH!
345
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,277
- UNH!
346
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,546
- [quickly] PRETTY DINGO PONY
BACON WANNA RIDE THE CHOO-CHOO!
347
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,647
- WHOA.
348
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,449
THERE'S A PRESSURE POINT
FOR THAT, TOO?
349
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,019
- THE MAGIC OF UNERRINGLY
ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE,
350
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,287
MY DEAR FLABBY FOOL!
351
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,990
I CAN MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING!
352
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,326
- AND YET YOU STILL
CAN'T MAKE ME RESPECT YOU.
353
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,429
- RELEASE US, TAOTIE.
YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN.
354
00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:33,300
- SURE. I'VE HAD FUN,
BUT WHO AM I TO BE SELFISH?
355
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568
NO, NO, NO.
356
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,139
WE'RE TAKING THIS ACUPRESSURE
PUPPET SHOW TO TOWN!
357
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,275
LET THE ENTIRE VALLEY
SEE HOW MY AWESOME MACHINE
358
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,312
CRUSHES YOUR PATHETIC KUNG FU!
359
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:48,081
[evil laugh]
360
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:52,319
I SHOULD POINT OUT YOU
WILL ALSO BE PERSONALLY CRUSHED.
361
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,125
- UNH!
362
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,327
- WHOA!
363
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,131
- [evil laugh]
364
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,633
- YOU'RE GONNA BREAK
YOUR STUPID PUPPET SHOW.
365
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,537
- ART IS SUFFERING, SON.
THEIR SUFFERING.
366
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,506
- YOU CAN'T REALLY EXPECT US
TO KEEP THIS UP FOREVER.
367
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:18,145
- NO. JUST UNTIL YOUR BODIES
GIVE OUT AND YOU DIE.
368
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,480
[lever cranks]
369
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,389
- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
- HUH?
370
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,060
- TAOTIE AND SON
ENTERTAINMENT...
371
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,195
- DON'T INCLUDE ME.
372
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,464
- PROUDLY PRESENTS...
373
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,066
THESE IDIOTS!
374
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:43,503
[kung fu grunts]
375
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,174
- ARE YOU JUST GOING
TO LET THIS HAPPEN?
376
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,142
- IT IS NOT FOR ME
TO INTERFERE.
377
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,744
I WAS SHOWN A NEW WONDER
AND ANSWERED A QUESTION.
378
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,647
WHERE IS YOUR WONDER?
379
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,815
- UGH!
380
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,350
- AAH!
381
00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,186
- OOH!
382
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,089
- WHOA!
383
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,327
- MA'AM, I NEED YOU
TO FIND TIGRESS OR MASTER YAO
384
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,162
AND TELL THEM THAT WE--UGH!
385
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:13,333
[loud kissing]
386
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,168
GAH!
387
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,438
- THAT'S MY WIFE!
388
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,108
- UH, THAT TOTALLY
WASN'T--OW!
389
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:25,678
- THIS ROOF TILE.
- I HAVE SEEN ROOF TILES.
390
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,282
- THE SKY.
- YES, BEAUTIFUL! SEEN IT.
391
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:33,220
- THIS OTHER ROOF TILE.
- THAT IS THE SAME ROOF TILE.
392
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,621
- HUNH!
393
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,123
- OOH. HARD STYLE.
394
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,227
EXCELLENT FOR KUNG FU,
NOT SO GOOD FOR PEOPLE.
395
00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,695
- [pained grunts]
396
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,865
- THIS PARADE IS CONFUSING
AND DISTURBING.
397
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,368
- YOU'RE RIGHT, THE SHOW'S
RAMBLING A BIT IN THE MIDDLE.
398
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,238
LET'S CUT STRAIGHT
TO THE POINTS.
399
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,473
- OW!
400
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,751
- I DO NOT LIKE
WHERE THIS IS GOING.
401
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,719
- IS THERE A POINT TO THIS,
AND IF SO, CAN YOU MAKE IT
402
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,155
A LITTLE QUICKER?
403
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,789
- FORGIVE MY FASCINATION.
404
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,592
THEY SAY THAT CURIOSITY
KILLED THE CAT,
405
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:17,297
SO HOW STRANGE TO SEE A CAT
WHO'S KILLED HER CURIOSITY.
406
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,268
WHAT DID POOR CURIOSITY
EVER DO TO YOU?
407
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,436
- WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?
408
00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,438
- WOW, THAT WAS
A VERY STUPID QUESTION.
409
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,474
[jeering laughter]
410
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,310
- HOW CAN SOUP
BE SWEET AND SOUR?
411
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,646
- AW, WHAT AN ADORABLY
STUPID QUESTION.
412
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,651
[jeering laughter]
413
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,821
- [panting]
414
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,461
I...
415
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,298
[sighs]
416
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,504
- THE STOIC MASTER TIGRESS
417
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:01,808
DISPLAYING TOTAL
AND UTTER VULNERABILITY.
418
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,544
A RARE AND PRECIOUS
WONDER INDEED!
419
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,814
VERY GOOD.
NOW, YOUR QUESTION?
420
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,454
- HOW DO I BEAT
TAOTIE'S MACHINE?
421
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:19,226
- A SPLENDID QUESTION!
FIRST, YOU WILL NEED...A BOX.
422
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:26,866
[kung fu grunts]
423
00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,579
- [chuckles]
424
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,249
- I'M SORRY!
MY BODY'S JUST NATURALLY AWESOME
425
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,383
AT THROWING STUFF!
426
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,919
MONKEY, LOOK OUT!
- WHA--?
427
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,589
- UNH! HUNH!
428
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,360
- WHAT?
429
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,561
- SHOW'S OVER.
430
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,897
- FINALLY! I WONDERED WHAT
HAPPENED TO MY LAST ACU-PUPPET.
431
00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:01,534
- CAREFUL, TIGRESS!
HIS THING DOES...THINGS!
432
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,238
I'LL BE HONEST,
I'VE BEEN IFFY
433
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,939
ON THE SCIENCE
THIS WHOLE TIME.
434
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,810
- I'LL BITE.
WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
435
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,782
- HELLO, THAT'S
MASTER YAO'S BOX.
436
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,718
HE'S TOTALLY GONNA COME OUT
AND KUNG FU YOU SO HARD YOU'LL--
437
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,353
[creaking]
438
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,761
OKAY, TRUTH BOMB?
I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.
439
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,866
- YES, HIDE IN COWARDICE!
440
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,269
FOR ALL WILL LEARN
TO FEAR AND RESPECT
441
00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,404
TAOTIE AND HIS MIGHTY--
442
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,305
- [battle cry]
443
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,240
- [screaming]
444
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,046
WHAT ARE YOU--?
445
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,617
[kung fu grunts]
446
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,790
- AAH!
447
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,633
[laughs]
448
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:11,338
[wild laughter]
449
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,807
- HI-YAAH!
- [whimpers]
450
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,647
STOP THAT!
- HUNH!
451
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,951
- [gasps]
452
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,387
- [yawns]
453
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:38,365
- WHAT?
454
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:40,367
- HI-YAAH!
- OOH!
455
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,837
WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
456
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:53,380
STOP THAT!
I ACUPRESSURE COMMAND YOU!
457
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,382
- HI-YAAH!
- OOH!
458
00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,384
- [battle cry]
459
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,421
[shattering]
460
00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,689
- [screaming]
461
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,795
MY SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY
ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE!
462
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:09,996
IT'S RUINED!
463
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,033
COMPLETELY RUINED!
464
00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,068
EXCEPT THE ONE THAT WRECKS
YOUR BLADDER CONTROL.
465
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:17,537
UNH!
466
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:21,508
[water trickling]
AND THERE IT GOES AGAIN.
467
00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:26,579
- WELL DONE, TIGRESS!
468
00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,049
- THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME--
WHAT WAS THAT, BOX-FU?
469
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,519
KUNG-TAINER?
470
00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,757
ANYWAY, WHATEVER, YOU CAN
COME OUT OF YOUR BOX NOW.
471
00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:40,427
- YEAH. I KNOW I CAN.
472
00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,095
- ABJECT HUMILIATION!
HA! I LOVE IT!
473
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,163
[water trickling]
474
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,433
- GREAT! THEN CAN YOU TELL ME
HOW TO STOP THIS?
475
00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:51,538
- CERTAINLY I CAN! YOU MUST--
OH, ALAS, IT IS SUNDOWN.
476
00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,773
OUR WONDER AND WISDOM
EXCHANGE IS OVER.
477
00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:55,908
BYE-BYE!
478
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:59,446
- DO YOU NEED A BEST FRIEND
AND CAN IT BE ME?
479
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:02,449
- HEY, NEVER HURTS TO ASK.
32793
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