All language subtitles for Kung Fu Panda Legends of Awesomeness (2011aa) - S03E05 - A Thousand and Twenty Questions (1080p WEB-DL x265 RCVR)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,738 - WA-CHA! HI-YAAH! 2 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,806 male announcer: AND NOW 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,677 DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS. 4 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,579 - [grunts] [gong rings] 5 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,049 * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA * 6 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:17,751 [scatting] 7 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,653 * RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP 8 00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,389 * NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME * 9 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,723 * HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP * 10 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,059 * AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME * 11 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,227 OOH! AHH! YAH! 12 00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,196 * KUNG FU PANDA 13 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:31,132 [scatting] 14 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,135 * MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM * 15 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:37,605 * AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME * 16 00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:39,173 * KUNG FU PANDA 17 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:42,243 [scatting] 18 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:44,378 * HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS * 19 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,180 * WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE 20 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,681 * PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING * 21 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,183 * SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE * 22 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,618 OOH! AHH! UH! 23 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:54,155 * KUNG FU PANDA 24 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,623 * LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS 25 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:56,790 SWEET! 26 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,731 [exotic flute music] 27 00:01:03,764 --> 00:01:10,238 * 28 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,307 - [panting] 29 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,443 [footsteps approaching] 30 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:17,245 [panting] 31 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,712 - [slurps] 32 00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:22,650 - [panting] MESSAGE FOR MASTER SHIFU! 33 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:27,155 [gasping] 34 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,158 - WHOA, WHOA, BIG BREATHS. - [gasping] 35 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:33,327 - JUST A MESSAGE, NO NEED TO RUSH. 36 00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:35,296 - WHAT IF IT'S AN URGENT MESSAGE? 37 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,730 - OH, MY GOSH, SHE'S TOTALLY RIGHT! 38 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,166 IS IT? 39 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:39,333 OKAY, UM, BREATHE ONCE FOR NOT URGENT, 40 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,901 TWICE FOR URGENT. 41 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,304 - [gasps] - WHEW! 42 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,405 - [gasps] - URGENT! 43 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,739 - [gasping] 44 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,275 - YEAH, NOW YOU'RE JUST CONFUSING EVERYBODY. 45 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,178 - [panting] FROM MASTER YAO. 46 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,779 - YAO? YOU MEAN---? 47 00:01:51,812 --> 00:01:54,182 - THE SUPER SMART, AWESOMELY POWERFUL KUNG FU MASTER 48 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,450 WHO SPENDS ALL HIS TIME IN A MEDITATION BOX? 49 00:01:56,484 --> 00:02:00,588 - I WAS GONNA SAY "SHIFU'S MAN-CRUSH," BUT YEAH. 50 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,291 - MASTER YAO? DID HE WRITE MY NAME HIMSELF? 51 00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,326 BECAUSE THAT WOULD REALLY BE SOMETHING FOR MY SCRAPBOOK-- 52 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,596 I MEAN, PERSONAL ARCHIVES. [gasps] 53 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,199 - WHAT IS IT? 54 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,435 - HE'S--HE'S COMING BACK, HERE. TO THE JADE PALACE. 55 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,703 - WHO? - YAO. 56 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:17,305 - NO! - YES. 57 00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,439 - YAO? - YAO. 58 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,540 - WHEN? - TODAY. 59 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,708 - NO! - YES. 60 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,276 - NO! - [flatly] YES. 61 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,811 - NO! 62 00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:26,214 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 63 00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,249 [door creaking] 64 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:37,791 BUT THIS IS SO SUDDEN! WE HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO PREPARE! 65 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,362 - MASTER YAO REQUIRES ONLY A SMALL RECEIVING AREA 66 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:45,633 FOR TOMORROW'S WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE. 67 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,236 - MASTER YAO HAS GRACIOUSLY OFFERED TO SHARE THE KNOWLEDGE 68 00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,704 HIS YEARS OF MEDITATION HAVE GIVEN HIM. 69 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,574 - TOMORROW, FROM SUNRISE TO SUNSET, 70 00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:57,345 ANYONE WHO BRINGS THE MASTER A NEW WONDER TO EXPERIENCE-- 71 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,381 SOME UNIQUE SIGHT, SOUND, SMELL, OR TASTE-- 72 00:03:00,414 --> 00:03:03,351 WILL BE PERMITTED TO ASK A SINGLE QUESTION 73 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,253 OF HIS VAST WISDOM. 74 00:03:05,253 --> 00:03:08,422 - WAIT. SO WE BRING MASTER YAO SOMETHING SMELLY OR WHATEVER, 75 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:10,991 AND WE CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING? 76 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,260 - YES. - YAO? 77 00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:13,494 - YES. - NO! 78 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,829 - STOP THAT! - WHO? 79 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,266 - THIS IS AWESOME! 80 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,534 I'VE GOT, LIKE, A BILLION QUESTIONS TO ASK! 81 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:24,004 WHERE DO I EVEN START? SEE? THAT'S ANOTHER ONE! 82 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,308 - FORGET IT, PO, THIS EVENT IS GOING TO BE A MADHOUSE. 83 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,777 - C'MON, ALL YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ANSWERED? 84 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,379 HOW GREAT IS THAT? 85 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:35,549 - I DON'T HAVE BURNING QUESTIONS. 86 00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,518 MASTER SHIFU, I REALLY DON'T THINK-- 87 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,387 - "MASTER YAO, WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A BESTIE?" 88 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:40,888 NO, TOO AGGRESSIVE. 89 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,757 "IN A KUNG FU COMPANION?" BETTER. 90 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,526 - THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! - I KNOW. 91 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,462 - MM-HMM. 92 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:54,402 [clanging] 93 00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:58,706 - DAD! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP! CAN'T YOU FAIL QUIETER? 94 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,709 - THAT'S THE SOUND OF IMPENDING VENGEANCE, SON. 95 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,912 BEHOLD, THE SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY ACC-- 96 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:08,982 - [groans] 97 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,651 - ARE YOU DONE WITH--? 98 00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:14,922 - [long groan] 99 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:22,596 [groan continues] 100 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,466 - SO IT'S MY TURN TO TALK AGAI-- 101 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,334 - [groans] 102 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,735 - THE SPHERE OF-- - [sharp groan] 103 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,504 - CAN I AT LEAST FINISH THE NAME? 104 00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:32,606 - I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DAD. 105 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,375 YOU'VE BEEN MESSING WITH THE SAME 106 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:36,610 LAME ULTIMATE WEAPON FOR YEARS. 107 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,945 IT NEVER WORKS. 108 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,613 - ONE TWEAK AWAY, MY BOY. 109 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,350 ONE TWEAK FROM MECHANIZED PERFECTION. 110 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,485 ONE TWEAK FROM THE FURIOUS FIVE'S 111 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:47,921 TOTAL HUMILIATION AND RUIN! 112 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,392 [rumbling] 113 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:52,426 UNH! 114 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,362 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHICH TWEAK. 115 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,796 OW! OW! OW! 116 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,498 OW! 117 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,033 - AND MASTER YAO WILL REALLY ANSWER ANY QUESTION? 118 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,102 - WELL, THAT'S WHAT THE POSTER SAYS. 119 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,104 I MEAN, IF YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IN POSTERS ANY MORE, 120 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,674 WHAT CAN YOU BELIEVE IN? 121 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,514 - "WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE," HUH? 122 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:18,486 THIS COULD BE QUITE OPPORTUNE. QUITE OPPORTUNE, INDEED. 123 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,621 OPPORTUNE, DO YOU HEAR? 124 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:24,558 [evil laughter] 125 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,972 - WE ARE READY TO BEGIN THE WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE, 126 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:42,543 MASTER YAO. 127 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,012 - WHOO-HOO! I FEEL TINGLY WITH ANTICIPATION! 128 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,414 HOW WONDERFUL! 129 00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,850 HAS ANYONE COME SEEKING ANSWERS YET? 130 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,421 [indistinct chatter] 131 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:58,559 - [grunting excitedly] 132 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:01,562 - MASTER YAO-- - HEY! NO CUTSIES! 133 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:04,665 - AH! OF COURSE. MASTER TIGRESS. 134 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,434 - I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION, I JUST-- 135 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,436 MASTER, PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS. 136 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,438 THERE'S TOO BIG A CROWD. IT'S NOT SAFE. 137 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,572 I'M JUST SCARED THAT-- 138 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:13,073 - OH, I DON'T THINK ASKING QUESTIONS 139 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,476 IS ANYTHING TO BE AFRAID OF. 140 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,544 DO YOU? 141 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,512 - WHAT? NO. I JUST--- 142 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:19,680 - UNH! - [groans] 143 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,848 - MASTER YAO, AWESOME TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 144 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,915 HUGE FAN OF... 145 00:06:21,949 --> 00:06:23,717 MEDITATION AND... 146 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,519 KNOWING STUFF. 147 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:30,524 - SPLENDID! HAVE YOU BROUGHT A NEW WONDER TO SHARE WITH ME? 148 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,693 - SNIFF A WHIFF, MY FRIEND. 149 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,763 FRESHLY. GRATED. GINGER. BOOM. 150 00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:36,930 - [sniffs loudly] 151 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,100 DELIGHTFUL! VERY GOOD. NOW YOUR QUESTION? 152 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,036 - OKAY. SO, SAY AN ICE DEMON MARRIES A FIRE DEMON 153 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,572 AND THEY HAVE A BABY. 154 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,874 WOULD IT BE, LIKE, JUST AN ORDINARY WATER DEMON 155 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,910 OR SOME KIND OF STEAM DEMON? 156 00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:54,047 - [sighs] 157 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,517 - DID YOU WANT US TO SAVE YOU A SPOT IN LINE, TIGRESS? 158 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,587 - I TOLD YOU, I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION FOR MASTER YAO. 159 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,789 BESIDES, SOMEBODY HAS TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THREATS. 160 00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,591 - AN ALL-KNOWING MASTER CAN HARDLY BE 161 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,225 TAKEN BY SURPRISE, TIGRESS. 162 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,359 WHAT'S REALLY TROUBLING YOU? 163 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,597 - [giggling] EXCUSE ME. LOT OF QUESTIONS. MAKE A HOLE. 164 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:13,100 - NOTHING. I'M JUST DOING OUR JOB. 165 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:16,169 - COME, COME, WHO IS NEXT? 166 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,639 - I BRING YOU STEAMED APPLES WITH HONEY. 167 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:22,776 - I COLLECT PIECES OF BAMBOO THAT LOOK LIKE FAMOUS PEOPLE. 168 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,512 THIS ONE IS MANTIS. 169 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:25,345 - HEY! 170 00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:29,116 - THE SOUND OF ONE HAND CLAPPING, HUH? 171 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,552 - UH, DO BUTTERFLIES REMEMBER 172 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,621 WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE A CATERPILLAR? 173 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,689 - WILL I EVER KNOW LOVE? 174 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,626 - DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED? 175 00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,529 - [whimpers] 176 00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,996 - BEHOLD, THE WONDER OF-- 177 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,933 - A VILLAINOUS INVENTOR IN A CHEAP NOVELTY DISGUISE! 178 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:46,934 I LOVE IT! 179 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:51,138 VERY GOOD. NOW, YOUR QUESTION. 180 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,140 - I WAS GOING TO SHOW YOU...MY... 181 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:55,643 [nervous laugh] YEAH, OKAY, OKAY. GREAT. 182 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,646 SO I HAVE THIS SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE-- 183 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,714 - I AM AWARE OF YOUR ULTIMATE WEAPON. 184 00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,585 YOU WISH TO KNOW WHY IT IS NOT YET WORKING? 185 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,187 - OH, NO, NO. I-I CAN HANDLE IT MYSELF. 186 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:11,191 I JUST, UM-- IT'S THE ROD CALIBRATION, RIGHT? 187 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,192 - NO. 188 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,627 - [smacks forehead] 189 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:14,995 - THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING 190 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,565 IN THE WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE! 191 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,299 HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY! 192 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,571 - WHAT? NO! ONE MORE GUESS! THE PRESSURE REGULATOR? 193 00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,073 THE POKE-JAB MATRIX? - [groans] 194 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,909 CAN'T YOU JUST TELL HIM SO HE STOPS EMBARRASSING ALL OF US? 195 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,878 - RULES, YOUNG BIAN ZAO. 196 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,713 IF YOU WOULD HAVE AN ANSWER, 197 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,649 YOU MUST PRESENT A NEW WONDER. 198 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,219 - BEHOLD, THE STENCH OF FAILURE. 199 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:42,089 - [sniffs loudly] PUNGENT! VERY GOOD. 200 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,591 [clears throat] 201 00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,593 YOU MUST CORRECT FOR THE SPHERE'S OBLONG ROTATION 202 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,895 BY ADJUSTING THE FIFTH, SIXTH, AND NINTH RODS 203 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:50,698 FROM THE BASE UNTIL THEY REACH A CONCAVITY 204 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:54,334 SIMILAR TO THE OFFSET CREATED BY YOUR CONTROL SEAT. 205 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,070 - OF COURSE! I MEAN, I WOULD'VE GOTTEN THERE EVENTUALLY. 206 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,707 TOTALLY HEADED IN THAT DIRECTION. 207 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,744 YOU'VE HUMILIATED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, FURIOUS FIVE! 208 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:07,781 TODAY, TAOTIE PROVES THAT TECHNOLOGY IS THE TRUE MASTER, 209 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,050 AND KUNG FU IS STUP-- 210 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,619 - HI-YAAH! - UNH! 211 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:15,355 - HUNH! - OW! OH! AAH! 212 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,925 - BEES. SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S THEIR DEAL? 213 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:19,627 - WHOA! 214 00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:20,628 - AAH! 215 00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,263 - I BROUGHT THE MASTER A CURVED PIECE OF WOOD. 216 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,297 - COOL. 217 00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,699 - AAH! WHOA! 218 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,300 UNH! 219 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,736 AAH! 220 00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,705 [fading shout] 221 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,941 - WHAT DID YOU DO? 222 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,709 - TIGRESS! WHAT'S HAPPENED? 223 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:40,347 - I DON'T KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU ASK MASTER YAO? 224 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,752 - OKAY, BUT IT'LL HAVE TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE'S QUESTION, 225 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,655 'CAUSE I ALREADY HAVE GOT A BEE THING. 226 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,127 - WHATEVER. I GUESS I'LL JUST WALK BACK 227 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,129 FROM THE JADE PALACE. 228 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,231 - AND JUST IN TIME FOR THE TEST RUN! 229 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,701 LUCKY YOU! 230 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:04,772 - [groans] WHY AM I EVEN SARCASTIC? 231 00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,139 [creaking] 232 00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,175 [whirring] 233 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,610 [hissing] 234 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,683 - HA! THE OLD FOOL WAS RIGHT! 235 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:20,187 - THEN HOW IS HE A FOOL? DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF? 236 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:23,290 - PREPARE FOR YOUR ULTIMATE RUIN, FURIOUS FIVE! 237 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,325 FOR TODAY, YOU FACE... 238 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:29,362 THE SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE! 239 00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,364 [laughs] 240 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:34,301 [creaking] 241 00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:38,371 [evil laughter] 242 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,116 - AGAIN, PO? 243 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,284 I'VE ONLY ASKED SEVENTEEN OF MY QUESTIONS! 244 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,820 HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED THE SUBSECTION 245 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,688 ON ACTION FIGURE MAINTENANCE. 246 00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,823 - YOU'D BETTER HURRY. 247 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,825 IT'S STARTING TO GET UGLY UP THERE. 248 00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:00,127 - DID THOSE TWO JUST SHOW MASTER YAO A PEONY BLOSSOM? 249 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:00,994 - THAT'S COMPLETELY UNFAIR! 250 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,295 - THAT WAS GOING TO BE MY WONDER! 251 00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:06,734 [overlapping argument] 252 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,369 - I GOT IT! 253 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,772 MASTER YAO, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIT IN THE FACE 254 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:12,973 WITH A WAR HAMMER? 255 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,007 - OOH! 256 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,408 [everyone talking at once] 257 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,879 - OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE. 258 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,248 [hollow thud] 259 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,752 HAH! - HOW THRILLING! 260 00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,319 [crowd yelling] 261 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,988 WOO-HOO-HOO! 262 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,157 - MASTER YAO? IS IT SUNDOWN ALREADY? 263 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,759 UNH! 264 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:35,328 - [laughs] THIS RESCUE IS MARVELOUS! 265 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,831 WOO-HOO-HOO! 266 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,400 - [panting] WHOA! 267 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,770 - I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GOING NOWHERE! 268 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,905 [panicked screams] 269 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,240 EXCEPT ON A VERY SHORT JOURNEY 270 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:50,210 TO THE LAND OF DEFEAT AND SHAME! 271 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,412 - WE'RE GETTING NEIGHBORS? 272 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:55,816 - WE ARE ROLLING TO THE VALLEY OF VICTORY, 273 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,386 ON BOARD THE SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE! 274 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:04,391 - YOU MADE A RIDING MASSAGE BALL? 275 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,093 - IT'S NOT A MASSAGE BALL! 276 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,796 IT'S A WEAPON OF UNSPEAKABLE TERROR! 277 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,463 - HEY, SEND SOME UNSPEAKABLE TERROR 278 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,132 TO MY LOWER LUMBAR REGION. 279 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,801 I GOT A KNOT LIKE NOBODY'S-- 280 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:14,968 AAH! HUH? 281 00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:16,937 UNH! 282 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:17,938 WHAT? OW! 283 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,072 [repeated slapping] 284 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,441 OW! STOP--OW! HITTING--OW!--ME! 285 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,276 AAH! 286 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,277 - OOH! 287 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:25,278 - [gasps] 288 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:26,279 - [grunts] 289 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:28,816 - [grunting] 290 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,852 [all grunting] 291 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,087 - [laughs] 292 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,455 - ENOUGH! 293 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,958 - WHOA! 294 00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:40,460 - HI-YAAH! 295 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:43,396 - I'VE SPENT YEARS MAKING DETAILED PRESSURE POINT CHARTS 296 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,232 ON EACH ONE OF YOU! 297 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,968 WITH ONE STRIKE FROM MY UNERRINGLY ACCURATE 298 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,237 ACUPRESSURE RODS, I CAN FORCE MANTIS 299 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,840 TO SPIN LIKE A CHILD'S TOY! 300 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:56,176 - WHOOOAA! 301 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,980 - PRETZEL-IZE VIPER. - UNH! 302 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,583 - DANCE THE MONKEY. - DI, DI, DOO! 303 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,353 - BLADDER CONTROL! 304 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:10,090 IN SHORT, I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT WEAPON TO DEFEAT YOU. 305 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,026 YOU! 306 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,130 - [laughs] 307 00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,269 I HAVE NEVER HIDDEN OUT FROM AN ANGRY MOB BEFORE! 308 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:25,939 WHAT A WONDROUS NEW EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME! 309 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:29,309 VERY GOOD. NOW, YOUR QUESTION? 310 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,312 - WHAT? I DIDN'T COME TO YOU FOR A QUESTION. 311 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,548 - YES. MASTER SHIFU, THE DRAGON WARRIOR, 312 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:39,286 AND THE REST OF THE FURIOUS FIVE ALL TOOK ME UP ON MY OFFER, 313 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,221 YET YOU DID NOT. 314 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,156 WHY IS THIS, I WONDER? 315 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:47,160 - I KEEP TELLING EVERYONE, I DON'T HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. 316 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:52,165 - OF COURSE YOU DO. "IS MASTER SHIFU PROUD OF ME?" 317 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:56,236 "AM I PERFORMING THE DIPPING PHOENIX TWIST KICK CORRECTLY?" 318 00:13:56,269 --> 00:14:01,208 "WHY AM I SO ANGRY SO OFTEN?" 319 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,912 AAH! I HAVE SURPRISED YOU. 320 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,580 THEN PERHAPS YOU WILL ANSWER ME A QUESTION. 321 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,518 WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO ASK WHAT YOU WISH TO KNOW? 322 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,987 - I...I... 323 00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:14,988 - [shrieks] 324 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,523 - PO? 325 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:20,093 - AH! THAT IMPETUOUS SCOUNDREL TAOTIE HAS TAKEN THE JADE PALACE 326 00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,229 WITH HIS MIGHTY NEW WEAPON. 327 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,032 - YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS? - I KNOW EVERYTHING. 328 00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,099 - STAY OUT OF SIGHT! 329 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,500 I'LL BE BACK AFTER I'VE RESCUED THEM! 330 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,271 - THIS WOULD BE MOST UNWISE, AND ENTIRELY UNSUCCESSFUL. 331 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,940 - WHAT? 332 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:36,977 - THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY FOR YOU TO DEFEAT TAOTIE'S MACHINE. 333 00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,079 - AND THAT WOULD BE--? 334 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,181 - I WILL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION. 335 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,952 AS SOON AS YOU BRING ME A NEW WONDER TO EXPERIENCE. 336 00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,955 - WHAT? I-- [growls] 337 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:48,956 HERE! 338 00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,591 - I HAVE SEEN ROCKS BEFORE. 339 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,961 - THIS ONE'S...GRAY? 340 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,962 - OOH! GOOD! 341 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:59,266 BUT, I'VE SEEN THAT, TOO. 342 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,102 - [evil laugh] 343 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,972 all: AAH! OW! OW! 344 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,307 - [growls] - HI-YAAH! 345 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:10,277 - UNH! 346 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,546 - [quickly] PRETTY DINGO PONY BACON WANNA RIDE THE CHOO-CHOO! 347 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,647 - WHOA. 348 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,449 THERE'S A PRESSURE POINT FOR THAT, TOO? 349 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,019 - THE MAGIC OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE, 350 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,287 MY DEAR FLABBY FOOL! 351 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,990 I CAN MAKE YOU DO ANYTHING! 352 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:26,326 - AND YET YOU STILL CAN'T MAKE ME RESPECT YOU. 353 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:29,429 - RELEASE US, TAOTIE. YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN. 354 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:33,300 - SURE. I'VE HAD FUN, BUT WHO AM I TO BE SELFISH? 355 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568 NO, NO, NO. 356 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,139 WE'RE TAKING THIS ACUPRESSURE PUPPET SHOW TO TOWN! 357 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,275 LET THE ENTIRE VALLEY SEE HOW MY AWESOME MACHINE 358 00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:45,312 CRUSHES YOUR PATHETIC KUNG FU! 359 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:48,081 [evil laugh] 360 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:52,319 I SHOULD POINT OUT YOU WILL ALSO BE PERSONALLY CRUSHED. 361 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,125 - UNH! 362 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,327 - WHOA! 363 00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,131 - [evil laugh] 364 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,633 - YOU'RE GONNA BREAK YOUR STUPID PUPPET SHOW. 365 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,537 - ART IS SUFFERING, SON. THEIR SUFFERING. 366 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:13,506 - YOU CAN'T REALLY EXPECT US TO KEEP THIS UP FOREVER. 367 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:18,145 - NO. JUST UNTIL YOUR BODIES GIVE OUT AND YOU DIE. 368 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,480 [lever cranks] 369 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:29,389 - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! - HUH? 370 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,060 - TAOTIE AND SON ENTERTAINMENT... 371 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,195 - DON'T INCLUDE ME. 372 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,464 - PROUDLY PRESENTS... 373 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,066 THESE IDIOTS! 374 00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:43,503 [kung fu grunts] 375 00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,174 - ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN? 376 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,142 - IT IS NOT FOR ME TO INTERFERE. 377 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:51,744 I WAS SHOWN A NEW WONDER AND ANSWERED A QUESTION. 378 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,647 WHERE IS YOUR WONDER? 379 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,815 - UGH! 380 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,350 - AAH! 381 00:16:57,384 --> 00:16:59,186 - OOH! 382 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,089 - WHOA! 383 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,327 - MA'AM, I NEED YOU TO FIND TIGRESS OR MASTER YAO 384 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,162 AND TELL THEM THAT WE--UGH! 385 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:13,333 [loud kissing] 386 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,168 GAH! 387 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,438 - THAT'S MY WIFE! 388 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,108 - UH, THAT TOTALLY WASN'T--OW! 389 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:25,678 - THIS ROOF TILE. - I HAVE SEEN ROOF TILES. 390 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:29,282 - THE SKY. - YES, BEAUTIFUL! SEEN IT. 391 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:33,220 - THIS OTHER ROOF TILE. - THAT IS THE SAME ROOF TILE. 392 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,621 - HUNH! 393 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,123 - OOH. HARD STYLE. 394 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,227 EXCELLENT FOR KUNG FU, NOT SO GOOD FOR PEOPLE. 395 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,695 - [pained grunts] 396 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,865 - THIS PARADE IS CONFUSING AND DISTURBING. 397 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,368 - YOU'RE RIGHT, THE SHOW'S RAMBLING A BIT IN THE MIDDLE. 398 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,238 LET'S CUT STRAIGHT TO THE POINTS. 399 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,473 - OW! 400 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,751 - I DO NOT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 401 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,719 - IS THERE A POINT TO THIS, AND IF SO, CAN YOU MAKE IT 402 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,155 A LITTLE QUICKER? 403 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,789 - FORGIVE MY FASCINATION. 404 00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:12,592 THEY SAY THAT CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT, 405 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:17,297 SO HOW STRANGE TO SEE A CAT WHO'S KILLED HER CURIOSITY. 406 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:21,268 WHAT DID POOR CURIOSITY EVER DO TO YOU? 407 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,436 - WHY IS THE SKY BLUE? 408 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,438 - WOW, THAT WAS A VERY STUPID QUESTION. 409 00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:27,474 [jeering laughter] 410 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:30,310 - HOW CAN SOUP BE SWEET AND SOUR? 411 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,646 - AW, WHAT AN ADORABLY STUPID QUESTION. 412 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:38,651 [jeering laughter] 413 00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:41,821 - [panting] 414 00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,461 I... 415 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,298 [sighs] 416 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,504 - THE STOIC MASTER TIGRESS 417 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:01,808 DISPLAYING TOTAL AND UTTER VULNERABILITY. 418 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,544 A RARE AND PRECIOUS WONDER INDEED! 419 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,814 VERY GOOD. NOW, YOUR QUESTION? 420 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,454 - HOW DO I BEAT TAOTIE'S MACHINE? 421 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:19,226 - A SPLENDID QUESTION! FIRST, YOU WILL NEED...A BOX. 422 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:26,866 [kung fu grunts] 423 00:19:38,245 --> 00:19:39,579 - [chuckles] 424 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,249 - I'M SORRY! MY BODY'S JUST NATURALLY AWESOME 425 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,383 AT THROWING STUFF! 426 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,919 MONKEY, LOOK OUT! - WHA--? 427 00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,589 - UNH! HUNH! 428 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:53,360 - WHAT? 429 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,561 - SHOW'S OVER. 430 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,897 - FINALLY! I WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LAST ACU-PUPPET. 431 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:01,534 - CAREFUL, TIGRESS! HIS THING DOES...THINGS! 432 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,238 I'LL BE HONEST, I'VE BEEN IFFY 433 00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:06,939 ON THE SCIENCE THIS WHOLE TIME. 434 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,810 - I'LL BITE. WHAT'S IN THE BOX? 435 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,782 - HELLO, THAT'S MASTER YAO'S BOX. 436 00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,718 HE'S TOTALLY GONNA COME OUT AND KUNG FU YOU SO HARD YOU'LL-- 437 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,353 [creaking] 438 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,761 OKAY, TRUTH BOMB? I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. 439 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:33,866 - YES, HIDE IN COWARDICE! 440 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,269 FOR ALL WILL LEARN TO FEAR AND RESPECT 441 00:20:36,303 --> 00:20:37,404 TAOTIE AND HIS MIGHTY-- 442 00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,305 - [battle cry] 443 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:41,240 - [screaming] 444 00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,046 WHAT ARE YOU--? 445 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,617 [kung fu grunts] 446 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:57,790 - AAH! 447 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,633 [laughs] 448 00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:11,338 [wild laughter] 449 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:14,807 - HI-YAAH! - [whimpers] 450 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,647 STOP THAT! - HUNH! 451 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:24,951 - [gasps] 452 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:27,387 - [yawns] 453 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:38,365 - WHAT? 454 00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:40,367 - HI-YAAH! - OOH! 455 00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,837 WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 456 00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:53,380 STOP THAT! I ACUPRESSURE COMMAND YOU! 457 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,382 - HI-YAAH! - OOH! 458 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:57,384 - [battle cry] 459 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,421 [shattering] 460 00:22:01,454 --> 00:22:02,689 - [screaming] 461 00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:08,795 MY SPHERE OF UNERRINGLY ACCURATE ACUPRESSURE! 462 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:09,996 IT'S RUINED! 463 00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,033 COMPLETELY RUINED! 464 00:22:14,066 --> 00:22:16,068 EXCEPT THE ONE THAT WRECKS YOUR BLADDER CONTROL. 465 00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:17,537 UNH! 466 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:21,508 [water trickling] AND THERE IT GOES AGAIN. 467 00:22:24,611 --> 00:22:26,579 - WELL DONE, TIGRESS! 468 00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:30,049 - THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME-- WHAT WAS THAT, BOX-FU? 469 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,519 KUNG-TAINER? 470 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,757 ANYWAY, WHATEVER, YOU CAN COME OUT OF YOUR BOX NOW. 471 00:22:37,790 --> 00:22:40,427 - YEAH. I KNOW I CAN. 472 00:22:40,427 --> 00:22:43,095 - ABJECT HUMILIATION! HA! I LOVE IT! 473 00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,163 [water trickling] 474 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,433 - GREAT! THEN CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO STOP THIS? 475 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:51,538 - CERTAINLY I CAN! YOU MUST-- OH, ALAS, IT IS SUNDOWN. 476 00:22:51,571 --> 00:22:53,773 OUR WONDER AND WISDOM EXCHANGE IS OVER. 477 00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:55,908 BYE-BYE! 478 00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:59,446 - DO YOU NEED A BEST FRIEND AND CAN IT BE ME? 479 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:02,449 - HEY, NEVER HURTS TO ASK. 32793

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