Original subtitles

- WA-CHA! HIYAH!

male announcer: AND NOW

DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS.

- [grunts] [gong rings]

* HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA *

[scatting]

* RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP *

* NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME *

* HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP *

* AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME *

OOH! AHH! YAH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM *

* AND MASTER THE SKILLS OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME *

* KUNG FU PANDA

[scatting]

* HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS *

* WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE

* PROTECT THE VALLEY, SOMETHING, SOMETHING *

* SOMETHING, SOMETHING ALIVE *

OOH! AHH! UH!

* KUNG FU PANDA

* LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS

SWEET!

- YOU READY TO DO THIS?

- OH, I WAS BORN READ--AH! HOLD ON.

AHH!

JUST A SEC.

OKAY. I'M...GOOD.

both: STILT FU!

- [yelps]

OOF!

[yells]

- UNGUARDED MOMENT!

- OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

- HIYA-- [quivers]

- I CALL THAT PILLARS OF THE OUCH.

- [quivering] GOOD NAME.

- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HEY, YOU TWO!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STILT-WALKING ADS FOR MY SHOP.

I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO MESS AROUND.

- YOU'RE NOT PAYING US AT ALL.

- GOOD THING TOO.

- STILL NOT SURE HOW GUYS ON STILTS

HELP ADVERTISE NOODLES.

- IT'S HOW THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS WORKS.

NOW STILT-WALK, YOU MONKEY.

- [grunts]

[strains]

WELL, I MAY BE STUCK HERE, BUT AT LEAST I'VE GOT A NICE VIEW.

THERE'S THE JADE PALACE...

AND THE BAMBOO FOREST...

AND A CUTE GIRL, AN OLD DUDE, SOME BANDITS.

both: BANDITS!

- [kung fu shout]

- SHAKABOO-- AHH!

- OH, PLEASE, WE HAVE NO VALUABLES.

- YEAH? WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?

- DON'T TOUCH THAT.

- YOU HEARD THE LADY.

HA! - YAH!

- WOW, SHE'S EVEN CUTER CLOSE UP.

- [growls]

YAH!

- UHH! - HIYAH!

- WAH! - AGH!

[both growling]

- HA!

- WHOA. FLYING GOAT SURPRISE.

- CUTE AND KNOWS KUNG FU?

- A LITTLE.

DON'T MESS WITH THE GOAT GIRL.

SERIOUSLY, DON'T!

- WHOA, WHOA, I'M NOT A BAND--

- I'M JUST KIDDING.

NO, I'M NOT!

- OOF!

- MESS WITH THE GOAT, YOU GET THE HOOVES.

[romantic music]

*

- YOU ALL RIGHT?

- UH...

MY PALMS ARE SWEATING,

MY HEART IS RACING, AND I'M TINGLY ALL OVER.

I THINK SHE GOT ME

WITH THE CLOVEN-HOOVED, EXPLODING HEAD TECHNIQUE.

- UH, CLOVEN-HOOVED, EXPLODING HEAD TECHNIQUE

ACTUALLY EXPLODES YOUR HEAD.

I THINK MAYBE YOU'RE IN LOVE.

- LOVE? PFFT.

[chuckles] NO WAY.

NOT THIS PA--

DID MY HEAD JUST EXPLODE?

I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE.

OH, WAIT, THERE IT IS, ON MY FACE.

- MY DAUGHTER AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH

FOR HELPING US IN OUR TIME OF NEED.

LU-SHI IS TO BE MARRIED TOMORROW.

- MARR--I SEE. [chuckles]

LUCKY GUY. ANYONE I KNOW?

- WELL, I NEVER EVEN MET HIM.

- AH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE ARRANGED DEALIOS.

- YEAH, PRETTY STOKED ABOUT IT.

HE'S CALLED "THE DRAGON WARRIOR."

[explosion]

HEAD DEFINITELY EXPLODED.

- WE ARRANGED THE MARRIAGE YEARS AGO, PO.

YOU AND LU-SHI WERE JUST BABIES.

- KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING A GUY TELLS HIS SON.

- WELL, BACK THEN, MONEY WAS TIGHT,

AND DISHES WERE VERY EXPENSIVE.

I COULDN'T AFFORD TO KEEP REPLACING THEM.

- MU-SHI THE POTTER OFFERED TO KEEP ME FAT WITH DISHWARE

IF I AGREED THAT ONE DAY YOU WOULD MARRY HIS DAUGHTER.

[humming happily]

- SO YOU TRADED HIM FOR PLATES?

- AND BOWLS.

THAT'S HOW THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS WORKS.

- LU-SHI, GIVE POE HIS PRESENT.

- YES, SIR.

PO, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU LIKE ACTION FIGURES.

- [chuckles] YEAH, WELL, I DID.

WHEN I WAS A KID A LONG TIME AGO.

NOT REALLY NO-- [squeals]

- I COLLECT THEM TOO.

- IS THAT A MASTER SHIFU?

- THE MONO-BROW VARIANT!

- THAT'S THE RAREST ONE THERE IS!

- I KNOW! IT'S YOURS NOW.

OR OURS IF YOU WANNA GO THROUGH WITH THE--

WITH THE WHOLE MARRIAGE THING.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR, YOU'RE PRETTY, FUNNY,

GOOD AT KUNG FU, YOU LOVE DUMPLINGS,

AND YOU COLLECT ACTION FIGURES?

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

- WHAT? OW!

- YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

- MEET THE FUTURE MRS. DRAGON WARRIOR.

- HEY, THERE, FURIOUS FIVE.

WORSHIP YOU.

TOTALLY TRYING NOT TO SPAZ.

- I KNOW IT'S KINDA SUDDEN.

- EXCEPT FOR THE "IT WAS ARRANGED

FROM WHEN WE WERE BABIES" PART.

[chuckles]

[nervous sigh]

OKAY, NOW I'M SPAZZING.

IS IT WRONG TO ASK YOU TO SIGN MY BELLY?

- IS THIS A JOKE? - NO JOKE.

- WELL, LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY GETS TO PLAN A WEDDING.

CAN IT BE ME? PLEASE SAY YES!

- GO CRAZY.

OH, LU-SHI, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET--

- MASTER TIGRESS.

OH, MY--OH, M--OH, MY GOSH. [nervous laugh]

I'M KIND OF A MEGA FAN. NO, A LOT.

SERIOUSLY, IT'S, LIKE, SUCH AN HONOR.

- HANG ON, YOU WANNA MARRY HIM?

- UH-HUH.

- REALLY?

- WHOA, TIGRESS.

NEVER PEGGED YOU FOR THE JEALOUS TYPE.

- JEALOUS?

YOU MUST BE KID-- - PO.

A WORD?

- I'LL BE WATCHING YOU.

- OKAY. I'LL TR--I'LL TRY NOT TO LOOK ALL...

OOH! AH, OOH.

ODD. I'LL TRY NOT TO LOOK ODD.

- MARRIAGE IS A BIG STEP, PO, AND YOU JUST MET THIS GIRL.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY?

- WELL, WE ARE COMBINING OUR ACTION FIGURE COLLECTIONS,

SO THERE'S THAT.

- PO, IF LU-SHI IS THE WIFE OF THE DRAGON WARRIOR,

SHE WILL BE A KIDNAP TARGET

OF EVERY VILLAIN AND SCOUNDREL IN THE LAND.

- WOW, I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.

- YOU'LL BE PUTTING HER IN GRAVE DANGER.

THAT'S WHY THE RULES

OF THE SACRED ONYX SHAOLIN ARE SO SPECIFIC.

- SPECIFIC HOW, SPECIFICALLY?

- YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW, DO YOU?

YOU'LL HAVE TO STEP DOWN AS THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- [gasps]

- WHAT?

GIVE UP BEING THE DRAGON WARRIOR OR GIVE UP LU-SHI?

I CAN'T DO THAT.

- WHICH ONE? - EITHER!

BEING DRAGON WARRIOR IS THE GREATEST.

I'D NEVER GIVE THAT UP.

UNLESS, WHAT IF LU-SHI IS MY ONE SHOT AT HAPPINESS?

I DON'T WANNA WIND UP OLD, SAD, AND ALONE

LIKE MY DAD OR YO-- UH...

IT'S JUST, UH, WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING THIS AWESOME LIFE

IF I'VE GOT NO ONE TO SHARE IT WITH?

- [sighs] IT'S YOUR DECISION, PO.

NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE IT FOR YOU.

- ARE YOU SURE? 'CAUSE I'D REALLY RATHER

YOU JUST TOLD ME WHAT TO DO, AND I'D GO ALONG WITH IT.

- THE DRAGON WARRIOR FOLLOWS HIS HEART.

THE DRAGON WARRIOR DOES NOT LET OTHERS MAKE UP HIS MIND.

- GAH!

- [kung fu shouts]

CRANE WANTS TO MEET WITH US LATER

TO GO OVER THE SEATING CHART AND--

PO, ARE YOU OKAY?

- HUH?

OH, UH, YEAH, YEAH.

SORRY.

- HIYAH!

[gasps] YOU'RE HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS.

- WHAT? NO WAY. KIND OF.

I MEAN, LOOK, MEETING YOU WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING

THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME SINCE--

SINCE I BECAME THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, PO.

DON'T LET ME SWAY YOU.

- OOF!

BUT IT'S ALL HAPPENING SO FAST.

- AS DRAGON WARRIOR, YOU SACRIFICE SO MUCH

TO PROTECT THE VALLEY OF PEACE, PO.

BUT TO RUN FROM TRUE LOVE

WOULD BE LIKE RUNNING FROM A GREAT BATTLE.

WE'D ALWAYS WONDER, WHAT IF?

- HUH.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

- HMM.

- WE'LL PUT THE BRIDE'S GUESTS OVER HERE,

BUT IF IT'S LOPSIDED, WE CAN SPREAD THE FIGHT DUMMIES AROUND.

- SO HE'S GOING THROUGH WITH THE WEDDING FOR SURE?

- NOT FOR SURE, BUT DON'T TELL CRANE,

OR YOU'LL CRUSH HIS DREAMS--

- NO, NO, NO!

YOU'RE USING TOO MANY FLOWERS IN ONE SPOT!

SPREAD THE BLOSSOMS, AND SPREAD THE...

[all shout]

JOY.

- YOU MIGHT WANNA REINFORCE THAT LATTICE.

- HUH. - JUST SAYING.

- I DON'T WANNA SPEND MY LIFE WONDERING, WHAT IF?

SO I'M GONNA MARRY LU-SHI

AND GIVE UP BEING THE DRAGON WARRIOR

OR NOT DO THAT.

- [sighs] PO.

- I KNOW, RIGHT?

OKAY, I'VE DECIDED.

I'M...GETTING MARRIED.

UNLESS YOU THINK-- - CONGRATULATIONS, PANDA.

I'M PROUD OF YOU,

AND I WISH YOU ALL THE HAPPINESS

IN THE WORLD.

- PO MUST REALLY LOVE YOU TO GIVE UP BEING DRAGON WARRIOR.

- TIGRESS.

- I GUESS YOU MUST REALLY LOVE HIM TOO.

- I...CARE FOR PO.

- CARE FOR HIM?

OR USING HIM?

HIYAH!

WHO IS THIS?

- I-IT'S NOT WHAT YOU-- - OOF!

- WALK AWAY, LADY.

TOTALLY FACING OFF WITH MASTER TIGRESS.

SO COOL!

TIGRESS, I DON'T WANNA HURT YOU.

- TRUST ME, YOU WON'T.

[kung fu shouts]

- TIGRESS, STOP!

- STAY OUT OF THIS, PANDA.

THIS IS HOW GIRLS DISCUSS THINGS.

- TIGRESS, I KNOW YOU'VE CRIED YOUR LITTLE EYES OUT

THAT YOU AND I AREN'T TOGETHER. - WHAT?

- DON'T BE A HERO.

SEE, THERE'S A TEAR RIGHT TH--NO.

WOW, DO YOU EVER BLINK? - [growls]

- LOOK, WHAT YOU AND I HAD

WAS JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION.

- HAD?

- PAST TENSE.

IT'S A GRAMMAR THING. LOOK IT UP.

LU-SHI, ARE YOU HURT?

- BUT, PO, SHE IS--

- TIGRESS, STOP EMBARRASSING YOURSELF

WITH YOUR JEALOUSY JEALOUS BEHAVIOR.

THIS IS MY LIFE, AND I NEED TO START LIVING IT FOR ME.

- GREAT JOB FIXING THE LATTICE, CRANE.

- REINFORCED AND READY FOR ACTION.

YAH! NO TOUCHIES.

- CRANE, EVER THINK OF A SECOND CAREER AS A WEDDING PLANNER?

- NO, NO, NO. [chuckles]

WHY, YOU THINKING OF TYING THE KNOT?

- [inhales deeply]

- PO, I-- - DON'T MAKE A SCENE, TIGRESS.

I'VE MADE MY DECISION, KIND OF.

AND IT'S THE RIGHT ONE. POSSIBLY.

- I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY.

YOU WERE RIGHT.

- YOU ARE JEALOUS.

- Y--NO!

NO, YOU--I--

IT IS YOUR LIFE, PO,

AND I WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST, FRIEND.

- PLACES, PEOPLE!

THE SUN IS CASTING DAPPLED LIGHT ON THE ALTAR.

DAPPLED LIGHT!

MOVE IT!

AH-- MM-HMM.

[plays cheerful tune]

*

- [cries]

- DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

TO JOIN PO AND LU-SHI, WHO PRETTY MUCH JUST MET,

IN THE SACRED BONDS OF MATRIMONY.

LU-SHI, DO YOU TAKE PO AS YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE RULES

GOVERNING THIS QUICKIE MARRIAGE CEREMONY?

- I DO.

- UH-HUH.

AND PO, DO YOU, FLOOBITY DOOBITY DOO,

LU-SHI AND RENOUNCE BEING THE DRAGON WARRIOR?

- PO?

- WUH-OH.

- WE'RE LOSING THE DAPPLED LIGHT!

- PO?

- UH, WELL...

- PO?

- UH, IT'S NOT-- IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO,

BUT--BUT--BUT MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT AND--

- WAIT? WE CAN'T WAIT.

IF WE DON'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW, HE'LL--HE'LL--

- HE'LL WHAT? TO WHO?

WHO'S "HE"?

- OH, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. GET ON WITH IT!

MARRY MY DAUGHTER AND STEP DOWN AS DRAGON WARRIOR, YOU NINNY!

- BUT I-- - ENOUGH!

- BUT I-- - GO ON!

- I'M JUST NOT--

- WELL, IT-- WELL, IT JUST--THAT--WELL--

[laughs] HER SAFETY IS INVOLVED,

AND--AND HER WELL-BEING AND--AND--

OH, BOO.

- JUNJIE!

[all gasp]

- OH... [gasps] YOURSELVES.

WITH THE DRAGON WARRIOR GONE,

I HAD INTENDED TO FINALLY SEIZE THE JADE PALACE FOR MYSELF.

THERE, HAPPY?

- NOT REALLY.

- WHAT? WAIT.

LU-SHI, YOU-- YOU BETRAYED ME?

- PO, I--

- YOU'RE GOING DOWN, JUNJIE.

- NO, NOT JUST YET.

THE HAPPY COUPLE HAVEN'T OPENED THEIR PRESENTS.

- [whimpers]

- IT WAS ALL A LIE?

- YES.

BUT, PO, I HAD TO, YOU SEE--

- YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH, GIRL.

AND NOW TO PAY THE PRICE FOR YOUR FAILURE.

- HA!

NONE OF YOU ARE GOING ANYWHERE.

TAKE THEM!

- WEDDING BRAWL! AWESOME!

[all shout]

[guests scream]

- NO, THAT'S A RENTAL!

[grunting]

- YAH!

- NOT THE CENTERPIECE! HEY!

[grunting and shouting]

- I SO LOVE SEEING YOU WITH EGG ON YOUR FACE, SHIFU.

- WAH!

- OH, MY CAKE! - OOH!

[groans]

- WELL, AT LEAST THE LATTICE IS STILL--

UGH!

[all groan]

[strained grunting]

- WE'D LOVE TO STAY FOR THE RECEPTION,

BUT WE HAVE SOMEPLACE TO BE.

- I'M SORRY, PO. I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU.

- WHAT'S THIS? - JUNJIE'S HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE.

THAT'S WHY I DID ALL OF THIS.

- WHAT?

- UH, PO, DON'T.

THERE'S NO POINT NOW AND--

- IS THIS LU-SHI'S... BOYFRIEND?

SHE HAS A-A BOYFRIEND?

THERE'S A BOYFRIEND! - PANDA, SNAP OUT OF IT.

LU-SHI NEEDS YOU.

IF YOU'RE NOT MARRIED, YOU ARE THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- YES.

YES, I AM.

AND THE DRAGON WARRIOR DOESN'T LET A BROKEN HEART

GET IN THE WAY OF HELPING THOSE IN NEED.

- WE, ACTUALLY, ARE IN NEED.

- [grunts]

- NO, PLEASE, JUNJIE.

LET HIM GO!

- I PLAN TO.

RIGHT INTO THE FIRE.

- YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HIM IF I DID WHAT YOU WANTED.

- YES, BUT YOU FAILED.

I MAY BE WILY AND DISHONEST, BUT I DO KEEP A PROMISE.

- HA!

- PO!

- JUNJIE, LET LU-SHI'S...FRIEND GO.

- FINE.

- [gasps]

- NO!

- HA! WA-TA!

[whimpers]

[yelps]

I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS.

- NO, NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.

I WON A MEDAL IN STILT FIGHTING YEARS AGO.

- HA! WHOA!

- OOH!

[yelps]

- OW! OOH!

[yelps]

- [screams]

- HA!

- WA-TA!

[yelps]

HUH?

[screams]

OOF! [sizzles]

[screams]

- [gasps]

- [strained grunts]

AHH!

- [groans]

- PILLARS OF THE OUCH.

- [quivering] GOOD N-N-NAME.

OOF.

- PO, SAVE SHAO!

- [gasps and screams] - GOTCHA!

- [whimpering]

- WOW.

THOSE MUSCLES ARE VERY DEFINED.

- THANKS. I DON'T EVEN WORK OUT.

- FIGURES.

WHOA!

- [grunts]

- [screams]

TIGRESS!

- I WAS ABLE TO GET FREE, JUST IN TIME, BY THE LOOKS OF IT.

- YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GIVE UP ON US, ARE YOU?

OOF!

- IN YOUR DREAMS, PANDA.

- SHAO, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

- [sighs]

- PO, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING MY BROTHER.

- YOUR BROTHER?

YOUR BROTHER?

I THOUGHT HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND.

- GROSS, BUD. - [laughs]

- OOF!

[chuckles]

- OH, PO.

MAYBE NOW THAT THIS IS ALL OVER...

- [sighs] I CAN'T MARRY YOU, LU-SHI.

SO LONG AS THERE ARE EVILDOERS

LIKE JUNJIE THREATENING THE VALLEY OF PEACE,

I HAVE TO REMAIN THE DRAGON WARRIOR.

- MARRY ME? YOU DORK.

WE BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER.

I WAS THINKING MAYBE WE COULD JUST HANG OUT SOMETIME.

- OW! OH, YEAH, THAT'D BE COOL.

BUT I GOTTA WARN YOU,

SOMEBODY MIGHT BE A LITTLE JEALOUS, SO, UH--OW!

THERE SHE IS NOW.