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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:02,170 - WA-CHA! HIYAH! 2 00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:06,607 - AND NOW DREAMWORKS' KUNG FU PANDA: 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,176 LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS. 4 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,810 [gong rings] 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,580 - * HEAR THE LEGENDS OF THE KUNG FU PANDA * 6 00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:17,085 [scatting] 7 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,486 * RAISED IN A NOODLE SHOP * 8 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,488 * NEVER SEEKING GLORY OR FAME * 9 00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:22,056 * HE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAINTOP * 10 00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:23,824 * AND EARNED THE DRAGON WARRIOR NAME * 11 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,293 OOH! AHH! YAH! 12 00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:27,195 * KUNG FU PANDA 13 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,064 [scatting] 14 00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:33,067 * MASTER SHIFU SAW THE WARRIOR BLOSSOM * 15 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,203 * AND MASTER THE SKILLS 16 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,637 * OF BODACIOUS AND AWESOME 17 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,306 * KUNG FU PANDA 18 00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,475 [scatting] 19 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:43,644 * HE LIVES AND HE TRAINS AND HE FIGHTS * 20 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,213 * WITH THE FURIOUS FIVE 21 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,647 * PROTECT THE VALLEY SOMETHING SOMETHING * 22 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,382 * SOMETHING SOMETHING ALIVE * 23 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:49,650 OOH! AH! 24 00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:53,087 * KUNG FU PANDA 25 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:54,822 * LEGENDS OF AWESOMENESS 26 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:55,523 SWEET! 27 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,363 [koto music] 28 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:07,301 * 29 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,672 - I HEAR YOU'VE GOT SKILLS. 30 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:15,776 WELL, LET'S SEE HOW YOU DO WITH A GOOSE WITH AN ATTITUDE. 31 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:19,647 HIYAH! 32 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,149 - BEST KNIVES ON THE MARKET. 33 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,516 ONLY TEN YUAN. 34 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,185 - WELL-- TEN YUAN? 35 00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,487 TEN YUAN! ROBBERY! 36 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,821 CALL THE MAGISTERY! 37 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,158 I'M BEING ROBBED HERE! ROBBER! 38 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:32,593 - USED KNIVES FOR SALE! 39 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:33,794 GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE CHEAP! 40 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,497 THREE YUAN! 41 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,833 - WHOO! ONLY THREE YUAN? 42 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:41,469 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. 43 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:43,304 - OW! - TAOTIE. 44 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,207 - YOU FELL RIGHT INTO MY TRAP, DRAGON WARRIOR. 45 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:47,541 [laughs victoriously] 46 00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:53,214 THE ROTATING SHARP THINGS OF DOOM, ACTIVATE! 47 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:56,384 all: [screaming] 48 00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:59,187 - [grunts] 49 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,356 - [giggles] 50 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:05,193 - [prolonged grunt] 51 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,860 - [laughs victoriously] 52 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,833 - [grunts] 53 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,235 [prolonged grunt] 54 00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:17,338 - AT LAST, THE MOMENT I'VE DREAMT OF. 55 00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:20,208 [laughs victoriously] 56 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:24,278 - [grunts] [motor rumbles] 57 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,217 - WHAT? 58 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,885 [groans, whines] 59 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,593 OH, POO. 60 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:42,263 - [grunts] WA-TA! 61 00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,898 - [grunts] 62 00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:48,836 NO, NO, NO! 63 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,939 [groans] 64 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:55,243 I WAS SO CLOSE! SO MIND-BOGGLINGLY CLOSE! 65 00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,845 MIND-BOGGLINGLY! 66 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,913 I ALWAYS LOSE. 67 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:03,351 YOU BEAT MY IRON CLAWS OF DOOM. 68 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:07,921 YOU BEAT MY FLYING BAMBOO BIRD OF INCALCULABLE RETRIBUTION. 69 00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:09,457 - DON'T FORGET WHEN YOU TURNED THE TRAINING HALL 70 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,425 INTO A KILLING MACHINE. 71 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:14,528 - YEAH, BEAT YOU THEN TOO. 72 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,998 - AND NOW I'VE FAILED YET AGAIN. 73 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,801 OH, NO, NO. 74 00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:23,904 WHAT COULD POSSIBLY TOP THE SOUL-CRUSHING SHAME 75 00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:26,707 OF YET ANOTHER SOUL-CRUSHING DEFEAT? 76 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,609 [cloth tears] 77 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,945 [all gasp] 78 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,547 - OOPSIE. 79 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,916 - YEP. THAT WOULD DO IT. 80 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,785 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO, UH-- [chuckles] 81 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:43,624 [all gasp, laugh] 82 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,742 - NO! 83 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,777 [cries] 84 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,913 - DAD? DAD. 85 00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,617 - [sobs] 86 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,319 - UH, IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT, FOLKS. 87 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:12,085 HE'S ALL RIGHT. 88 00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,322 NOTHING APPROPRIATE TO SEE HERE. 89 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:17,325 - [giggles] 90 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,926 [stops giggling] 91 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,361 - * HEY NONNY NONNY NO 92 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,596 * HEY NONNY NO 93 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,365 * HEY NONNY NONNY NO - UH, IS HE OKAY? 94 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:27,067 - * HEY NONNY NO - YOU BROKE MY DAD. 95 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,002 - BUT I DIDN'T-- 96 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,704 * HEY NONNY NONNY NO - WAIT, PLEASE! PLEASE! 97 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,706 JUST LET ME TAKE HIM HOME. 98 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,608 IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO. 99 00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,877 - WHAT? I CAN'T HELP A BAD GUY. 100 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,012 THAT'D MAKE ME A BAD GUY TOO. - [laughs wildly] 101 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:42,516 * THERE ONCE WAS A GOAT FROM CHENGDU * 102 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,519 * WHOSE TUSHY GOT STUCK IN SOME GLUE * 103 00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:49,690 [laughs wildly] 104 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,863 - UH, FINE. JUST, JUST, JUST TAKE HIM HOME. 105 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,365 - * THERE ONCE WAS A GOAT * 106 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,866 - BUT DON'T LET HIM DO ANYTHING, YOU KNOW, EVIL. 107 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,968 - * WHOSE TUSHY GOT STUCK IN SOME GLUE * 108 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,371 [laughs wildly] 109 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,872 - OH, YEAH. 110 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,974 YOU REALLY MESSED HIM UP GOOD. 111 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:10,878 - * 'TWAS A FAIR YOUNG LASS ERE I CAME A CLOGGING * 112 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:13,046 * WA HOO 113 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,984 - [kung fu shouts] 114 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,051 OW! 115 00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:20,120 STUPID NUNCHUCKS. 116 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,856 AAH! - PANDA. 117 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,425 I HEARD YOU RAN INTO TAOTIE THIS MORNING. 118 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,760 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 119 00:05:26,794 --> 00:05:29,730 - UH, TAOTIE? UH, 'CAUSE HE ESCAPED. 120 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:34,101 IN A HOVERING FLYING HOVERING THING. 121 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:35,503 - WE'LL HAVE TO GO AFTER HIM AT ONCE. 122 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,705 AND BIAN ZAO AS WELL. 123 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,073 YOU CAN ALL BEGIN YOUR SEARCH HERE, 124 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,509 THEN MAKE YOUR WAY OUT 125 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,843 TO THE SURROUNDING AREAS. [hinge creaks] 126 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:43,577 THEY COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY GOTTEN VERY FAR. 127 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,045 - BIAN ZAO? 128 00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,047 - CRANE, MONKEY, COVER THE ROAD OUT OF TOWN. 129 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,549 THE REST, COVER THE NORTH. 130 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,421 - [softly] WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 131 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:54,955 IF SHIFU FINDS OUT-- 132 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,924 - IT'S MY DAD. HE'S IN REAL BAD SHAPE. 133 00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,592 YOU HAVE TO HELP HIM. 134 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,428 - ME? 135 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,629 ARE YOU CRAZY? 136 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,432 - NO! HE IS. BECAUSE OF YOU. 137 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,434 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO HUMILIATE HIM LIKE THAT 138 00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,035 AND STUFF. 139 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:09,437 PLEASE, PO. 140 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,872 AS LAME AS IT IS, 141 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,608 HE'S ALL I HAVE. 142 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,778 - BUT I--OH. 143 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,448 FINE. 144 00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,982 BUT NONE OF HIS TRICKETY-TRICKS, 145 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,885 OR I'LL BE FORCED TO-- WHA-HA! 146 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,588 - NO TRICKS. JUST TALK TO HIM. 147 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,660 OW! OW! 148 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,996 [gasping] 149 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,632 - PANDA? 150 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:43,737 - DAD? I'M HOME. 151 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,939 - OH, THAT'S NICE. 152 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,207 [crash] 153 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:52,212 * OH, SWEET CHIN LEE LA LA LA * 154 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,915 - UM, WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 155 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:59,520 - NOTHING. JUST DESTROYING MY LIFE'S WORK. 156 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:02,122 INVENTIONS, HOPES, 157 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,624 YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING. 158 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,494 OH, SO POINTLESS. 159 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,861 [shards clinking] 160 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,930 - UH, YEAH. [clinking, banging] 161 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,165 ABOUT MAKING FUN OF YOU BEFORE... 162 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:15,135 THAT WASN'T COOL. AND... 163 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,104 I'M SORRY. 164 00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:19,673 - NONSENSE! YOU FINALLY MADE ME SEE THE TRUTH-- 165 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,175 WHAT AN UTTER FAILURE I AM AS A VILLAIN. 166 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,111 THANKS, PO. 167 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,779 - YOU'RE WELCOME? 168 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:29,717 - PLUS, YOU'VE ALSO STRIPPED ME OF ALL PURPOSE IN LIFE! 169 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:33,721 SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA SOB! 170 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:37,290 UNCONTROLLABLY. 171 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:45,966 [sobbing wildly] 172 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,868 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU GOT TO FIX HIM. 173 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,538 - I APOLOGIZED. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? 174 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,239 - FIGURE SOMETHING OUT! 175 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:54,074 OR ELSE! 176 00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,143 - HEY, HEY, CAREFUL. THAT'S NOT A TOY. 177 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,277 IS IT A TOY? 178 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,079 [smack] [groans] 179 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,249 NOT A TOY. 180 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,552 - [sobbing] - YOU FIX MY DAD. 181 00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,920 LOOK, B.Z., BACK OFF BEFORE I-- 182 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:07,921 [grunting] 183 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,557 OW! 184 00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,291 STUPID, DEFECTIVE NUNCHUCKS. 185 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,593 [clang] 186 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:16,764 - THEY ARE NOT DEFECTIVE. 187 00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,232 THE ERGONOMICS ARE DISPROPORTIONATE 188 00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:24,237 TO YOUR BODY DYNAMIC. 189 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:28,208 - ERGO-WHO, NOW? 190 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,710 - I COULD CREATE A WEAPON 191 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,079 IDEALLY SUITED TO YOUR BODY TYPE. 192 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:33,681 PERFECT! 193 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,584 THIS CONTAINS ALL THE INFORMATION I NEED 194 00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:39,587 TO DESIGN THE PERFECT WEAPON FOR YOU. 195 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,589 - BUT WHY WOULD YOU-- 196 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:42,890 - GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING, PO, 197 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,325 YOU'RE PROBABLY THE CLOSEST THING I HAVE 198 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:50,297 TO--TO AN ACTUAL FRIEND. 199 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,132 - HANG ON, HANG ON. 200 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,867 WE REALLY CAN BE FRIENDS. 201 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:57,270 AND YOU CAN HAVE AN ENTIRELY NEW PURPOSE IN LIFE! 202 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,272 ONE THAT'S EVEN PURPOSE-IER! [crash] 203 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,141 - HOW'S THAT? 204 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,343 - YOU CAN BECOME A GOOD GUY! 205 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,145 YOU'LL BUILD YOUR GADGETS, 206 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,782 BUT THEY'LL BE CRIME-FIGHTING GADGETS! 207 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,918 - WHA-- WHAT'S THE CATCH? 208 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,920 - NO CATCH. IT'S JUST-- 209 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:16,223 WELL, I FEEL REALLY BAD ABOUT, YOU KNOW. 210 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,759 - CAUSING MY UTTER MENTAL BREAKDOWN? 211 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,795 - YEAH. THAT AND... 212 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,263 I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. 213 00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:27,668 I BELIEVE IN YOU. 214 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,003 - MEET ME IN TOWN AT NOON TOMORROW. 215 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,273 I'LL HAVE YOUR NEW NUNCHUCKS ALL READY. 216 00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,342 AND THANKS, PAL. 217 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,652 - YOU GONNA BUY AN APPLE, OR WHAT? 218 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,654 - HUH? OH, NO, SORRY. 219 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:48,789 I'M JUST KILLING TIME UNTIL-- - PO. 220 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,991 - AAH! 221 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,292 - PLEASE TELL ME YOU WEREN'T JUST BUYING APPLES 222 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,027 WHILE WE SEARCHED FOR TAOTIE? 223 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:55,262 - AAH! 224 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:58,331 - I WISH. 225 00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,000 - * LASS ERE I CAME A CLOGGING * 226 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,669 PO! 227 00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,337 I'M-- 228 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,374 - GOOD JOB, PO. GET HIM! 229 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,642 - GUYS, STOP! 230 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,945 all: [grunt] 231 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,313 - YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. 232 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:17,150 - YEAH, ACTUALLY WE DO. A LOT. 233 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:20,320 - IN THAT CASE, YOU ALL LEAVE ME WITH NO CHOICE. 234 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,324 [laughs wildly] 235 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,660 TAOTIE, DON'T! NO! 236 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,230 - AS I SAID, YOU ALL LEAVE ME WITH NO CHOICE! HA! 237 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,666 [clank] 238 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:36,269 NO CHOICE BUT TO SHOW OFF THESE NEW NUNCHUCKS. 239 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,305 THE CARRYING CASE IS HAND-STITCHED SOY. 240 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,073 - WHOA! 241 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,075 [clink] 242 00:10:42,109 --> 00:10:43,877 - WOW, THEY-- THEY FEEL GREAT. 243 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,212 - THEY SHOULD. 244 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:49,049 I DESIGNED THEM TO FIT YOU LIKE A GLOVE. 245 00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,118 - [grunts] 246 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,357 - WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE? 247 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,693 - WHY IS TAOTIE GIVING PO PRESENTS? 248 00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,862 - UH, DIDN'T THAT WALL BELONG TO SOMEONE? 249 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,430 - GUYS, LISTEN. 250 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,965 TAOTIE'S CHANGED. 251 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,266 HE'S GONE STRAIGHT. 252 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,401 - YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THAT. HE'S A VILLAIN! 253 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,270 - PLEASE, STOP. 254 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,239 HE'S MY FRIEND. 255 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:17,044 AND THAT MEANS MORE TO ME THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY KNOW. 256 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:18,879 WHEN I WAS A LAD, 257 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,281 THE ONLY COMPANION I HAD WAS A YOUNG GOAT. 258 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,950 I CALLED HIM GOATIE. 259 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,885 WE WERE INSEPARABLE. 260 00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,755 I EVEN SHOWED HIM MY VERY FIRST INVENTION-- 261 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,757 THE MAGNIFICENT MAGNIFIER. 262 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,291 I WAS SO PROUD. 263 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:34,294 BUT GOATIE WAS JEALOUS OF MY TALENT. 264 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,764 HE STOLE THE MAGNIFICENT MAGNIFIER 265 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,398 AND MOCKED ME. 266 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:41,935 GOATIE'S BETRAYAL WOUNDED ME DEEPLY. 267 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,405 LATER ON, SHIFU WOULD ALSO TURN AGAINST ME. 268 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:49,176 AS DID MY MOTHER, MY FATHER, 269 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,443 AND MY UNCLE-- [flies buzz] 270 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,780 WHO I NEVER REALLY LIKED ANYWAY. 271 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,983 AND THEN THERE'S THE CLERK AT THAT CART WASH I GO TO. 272 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:57,785 - I'LL JUST JUMP IN HERE. 273 00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:01,421 [titters] TAOTIE JUST NEEDS A FRIEND TO BELIEVE IN HIM. 274 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:04,457 I WANT TO BE THAT FRIEND. 275 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,795 JUST--JUST GIVE ME A FEW DAYS TO CONVINCE YOU. 276 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:11,098 PLEASE? 277 00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,866 - OKAY, OKAY, PO. 278 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,303 BUT IF WE'RE NOT CONVINCED, WE'LL BE COMING FOR TAOTIE. 279 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:26,847 - AND MY GUESS IS SHIFU WILL BE COMING FOR YOU. 280 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,217 - WELL, THAT WENT WELL. 281 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:34,822 [sobbing, sniffling] 282 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:42,129 - SO HOW'D IT GO? 283 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,397 - TAOTIE, WAIT UP! 284 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,199 IT CAN STILL WORK. 285 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,035 WE JUST HAVE TO PERSUADE THE FIVE 286 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,436 THAT YOU'RE ON THE LEVEL. 287 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,840 [nunchucks whir] - HOW? 288 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,408 - WELL... 289 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,445 YOU CAN DESIGN COOL WEAPONS FOR THEM LIKE YOU DID FOR ME. 290 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:03,550 - THAT IDEA ISN'T ENTIRELY LAME. 291 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,518 - IT MIGHT WORK. 292 00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,220 BUT OF COURSE, 293 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,489 I'D NEED THEIR EXACT MEASUREMENTS. 294 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:13,360 - HMM. JUST LEAVE IT TO THE PO MAN. 295 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,995 - REALLY? 296 00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:18,365 OH, PO. YOU'RE THE BEST PAL EVER. 297 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,267 - [grunts] AND YOU'RE GONNA BE 298 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:24,872 THE BEST CRIME-FIGHTING ASSISTANT EVER. 299 00:13:24,872 --> 00:13:27,574 - ASSISTANT? 300 00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:34,147 - [yawns] 301 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,891 [squeak] 302 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,233 [creak] 303 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:03,443 [grunts] 304 00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,245 HA. 305 00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:08,581 [bang, crash] AAH! [grunts] 306 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,318 - THERE. PERFECT. 307 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:14,554 - UH, HERE ARE ALL THE MEASUREMENTS. 308 00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,456 NOT QUITE AS EASY TO GET AS I'D HOPED. 309 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,997 - DON'T WORRY. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEED. 310 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:27,567 THE FURIOUS FIVE WILL GET THE SURPRISE OF THEIR LIVES. 311 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,601 - THIS IS GREAT! 312 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,337 I'M TELLING YOU, TAOTIE, 313 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,005 YOU REALLY ARE GONNA BE THE BEST-- 314 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,407 - ASSISTANT EVER. 315 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,177 YES! SO YOU KEEP SAYING. 316 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:41,181 - BEST CRIME-FIGHTING ASSISTANT, HIGH FIVE. 317 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:44,584 - HEY, PO. THANKS FOR HELPING MY DAD. 318 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,019 - NO WORRIES, B.Z. 319 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:48,455 BEST CRIME-FIGHTING ASSISTANT'S SON, HIGH FIVE. 320 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,623 [grunts] 321 00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:53,326 YEAH. LAME. 322 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,963 GOT IT. 323 00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,630 - HOW ABOUT THAT PO? 324 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:01,501 AFTER ALL THE TIMES I TRIED TO DESTROY HIM, 325 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:06,139 HE STILL REACHES OUT TO ME WITH KINDNESS AND UNDERSTANDING. 326 00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,975 THE FOOL! 327 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:11,511 [maniacal laugh] 328 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,346 PERFECT! 329 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,283 THOSE MEASUREMENTS GAVE ME ALL THE INFORMATION I NEED 330 00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:19,519 TO DESTROY PO AND THE FURIOUS FIVE, 331 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,654 ONCE AND FOR ALL. 332 00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:27,227 - BUT ISN'T PO YOUR NEW BEST LAME FRIEND? 333 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,231 - WOULD A REAL FRIEND DENIGRATE ME TO THE ROLE OF ASSISTANT? 334 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,166 WINGMAN? FIFTH WHEEL? 335 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,069 SECOND FIDDLE? 336 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,537 [papers rustle] 337 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:38,538 NEVER! 338 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:41,141 STILL, I AM GRATEFUL TO PO 339 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:44,177 FOR REAFFIRMING MY TRUE PURPOSE IN LIFE. 340 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,679 - WHICH IS? - DESTROYING PO! 341 00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:49,249 [fizzing, bang] 342 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:55,255 MY MOMENT OF ULTIMATE TRIUMPH IS FINALLY AT HAND. 343 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,025 [boom] [chortles] 344 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,564 all: HIYAH! 345 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,666 - WE GOT HERE AS SOON AS WE COULD. STAY CALM. 346 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,203 WE'RE-- 347 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,573 - YOU GUYS WANNA BUY SOME APPLES? 348 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,743 - I DON'T SEE AN ARMY OF AX-WIELDING GORILLA WARRIORS. 349 00:16:16,776 --> 00:16:20,713 - YEAH. WHO SENT WORD THAT THE VILLAGE WAS BEING INVADED? 350 00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,549 - [chuckles] SORRY. 351 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,217 THAT WOULD BE ME. 352 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,720 HAD TO GET YOU GUYS HERE SOMEHOW. 353 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:32,625 - OH, FORGET IT. 354 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,427 - YOU WANT TO HIT HIM FIRST, OR CAN I? 355 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,629 - I'LL DO IT. - WA--WA--WAIT! 356 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,431 I CAN PROVE THAT TAOTIE'S REALLY GOING STRAIGHT. 357 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,133 TAOTIE, BUDDY! 358 00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:42,269 OKAY, I WARMED THEM UP FOR YOU. 359 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,136 READY TO WIN THEM OVER? 360 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,771 - I'LL MAKE AN IMPRESSION, ALL RIGHT. 361 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:47,440 THAT I PROMISE YOU. 362 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:48,808 - LISTEN, I GOT YOU SOMETHING. 363 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,311 YOU KNOW, TO SAY "WELCOME TO THE GOOD GUY TEAM." 364 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,813 I SENT ALL THE WAY TO THE HUNAN PROVINCE FOR IT. 365 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,083 - PO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 366 00:16:56,083 --> 00:17:01,288 IN FACT, THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE WAY YOU CAN THANK ME. 367 00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:04,791 BY BEING OBLITERATED! 368 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:07,827 - [grunts] 369 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:13,433 [mechanical whirring] 370 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,836 - [laughs victoriously] 371 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,705 [pounding footfall, clanking] 372 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,516 - TAOTIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I THOUGHT WE WERE PALS. 373 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,118 I BELIEVED IN YOU. 374 00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:33,720 - SORRY, DRAGON WARRIOR, 375 00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:38,725 BUT TAOTIE PLAYS ASSISTANT TO NO ONE. 376 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,527 NOW FEEL THE FURY 377 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,796 OF MY DEADLY, MECHANICAL, AUTO-AMBULATED ADAPTO-BOT. 378 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,498 - NEEDS A NAME THAT'S NOT LAME. 379 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,167 - QUIET, YOU. 380 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,471 - ANYTHING THE PANDA CAN DO, IT CAN DO. 381 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,507 [clank] 382 00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:58,178 [clank] 383 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,846 [clank] 384 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,814 [clank] 385 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:09,356 - COOL. [pounding footfall] 386 00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,324 TAOTIE, STOP! THIS NEVER WORKS! 387 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,526 REMEMBER THE CLAWS OF DOOM? 388 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,163 THE FLYING BAMBOO BIRD OF INCALCULABLE--AAH! 389 00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:23,170 [grunting] 390 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,609 [grunting] 391 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,211 - IT BELLY-BUTTED HIM. 392 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:34,181 THAT'S PO'S MOVE. - HAH! 393 00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,548 THE PANDA FALLS DOWN PRETTY HARD. 394 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:36,916 LET'S SEE HOW IT DOES THAT. 395 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,353 [robot growls] 396 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,255 HAH! 397 00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:47,627 - [kung fu shouts] 398 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,363 - YAH! HAH! 399 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:53,566 - [grunts] 400 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,705 both: [grunt] 401 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:02,642 both: YAH! 402 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,745 - OH! - IT'S GOT TIGRESS'S CLAWS! 403 00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,314 - [chortles] 404 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,749 - [grunts] 405 00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,451 - MONKEY'S TAIL! - OH! 406 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,920 - HI-YEE! 407 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,423 MY POINTY DEALIES! 408 00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:18,725 OOH! 409 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:21,761 - [grunts] 410 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,768 [groans] 411 00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:32,772 - YAH! [hollow clang] 412 00:19:32,805 --> 00:19:36,743 [robot hisses] 413 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,311 OH! 414 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,247 - [laughs victoriously] 415 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,783 RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED TAOTIE! 416 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:44,984 RUE! 417 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,754 - [blubbers lips] HUH? 418 00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:51,758 all: [groan] 419 00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:56,996 - HANG ON, GUYS! I'M COMING. 420 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,601 [robot grunts] 421 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,237 - [grunts] 422 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,441 - WHAT'S THE MATTER, PO? 423 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,810 DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? 424 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,011 - [grunts] 425 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,613 - DAD, THIS IS LAME. 426 00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,848 WHAT KIND OF LOSER DESTROYS HIS BEST FRIEND? 427 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:19,619 - QUIET, SON. DADDY'S BUSY. 428 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:20,987 - OH! 429 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,989 - BUT HE EVEN GOT YOU A PRESENT. 430 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:25,458 UM, IT'S PROBABLY LAME, BUT STILL. 431 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:29,329 - HUH. MIGHT AS WELL TAKE A LOOK, I SUPPOSE. 432 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:33,032 [gasps] 433 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,734 - NYA-HA-HA-HO-HO! 434 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:38,405 - IT'S-- IT'S A MAGNIFICENT MAGNIFIER. 435 00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:42,909 JUST--JUST LIKE THE ONE GOATIE STOLE FROM ME. 436 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:46,045 [lyrical flute music] 437 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:50,483 * 438 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,752 WE DIDN'T EVEN DO HALF THAT STUFF, BUT-- 439 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,388 [sobs] 440 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:57,557 DOUBLE POO. 441 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,695 - [grunts] 442 00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,897 [crash] 443 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:09,602 [grunting] 444 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:16,343 [grunting] 445 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:25,885 [grinding, sizzling] HUH? 446 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,624 TAOTIE? TAOTIE! 447 00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,025 - GOT YOUR BACK, BUDDY. 448 00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:36,062 YOU HIT HIM HIGH, I'LL HIT HIM LOW. 449 00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,406 - [grunting] 450 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:49,008 [clanking] 451 00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,720 [grunting] 452 00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:01,788 WA-TA! 453 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:05,792 [bang, crash] 454 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,395 ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? 455 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:12,098 - [groans] 456 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,433 - WE'RE OKAY. 457 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,435 BUT I KIND OF HURT MY RIGHT WING. 458 00:22:15,468 --> 00:22:17,470 - YEAH, YEAH. GREAT, GREAT, GREAT. 459 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:22,942 [clink] 460 00:22:22,975 --> 00:22:26,413 - UH, TAOTIE. 461 00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,415 THANKS FOR HELPING ME OUT. 462 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,655 - WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? 463 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,156 [cell door clatters shut] 464 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,025 SOME FRIEND! 465 00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:42,429 DOES HE PUT ALL HIS FRIENDS IN PRISON? 466 00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:46,966 WELL, THEY HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF TAOTIE! 467 00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:51,471 WHAT DO YOU THINK, SON? 468 00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:54,073 - LAME. 469 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,711 [koto music] 30200

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