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1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:07,298
"What are some of your
greatest contributions
to the CIA?"
2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,425
Pass.
3
00:00:08,426 --> 00:00:10,260
- "Long-term goals?"
- Pass.
4
00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,095
- "Biggest strengths."
- Pass.
5
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,848
- "Greatest weakness."
- Oh, man. Where to begin?
6
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:18,101
I don't know how to
turn on my computer, for one.
Actually, pass.
7
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:21,688
I don't think you're gonna
be able to pass on every
single question.
8
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,274
Well, how many passes
do you get in a
performance review?
9
00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:27,444
I don't know.
I want to say, like, 12.
10
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,451
Explain me this.
11
00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:37,454
How is it that I absolutely
plaster this town with flyers,
12
00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:39,956
but still not a single person
shows up to see
13
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:44,127
my Cherry Poppin' Daddies
tribute band,
The Hymen Bustin' Fathers?
14
00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:47,464
Roger, please.
I'm practicing for my
performance review at work,
15
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,799
and I really need to...
16
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,343
Why do you need to practice
for a performance review?
17
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:53,803
I'm not great off the cuff.
18
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,139
I get all nervous and go blank
when I'm not prepared.
19
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,891
Not me. I'm good on my feet.
20
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,726
And even better
on my knees.
21
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,978
I am so sick of that joke.
22
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,688
Anyway, say no more, Stan.
23
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:07,025
Really, say no more,
because all he ever does
is complain.
24
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,151
Don't involve me in this.
25
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,320
- Okay, let's--
- Can't chat now anyway.
26
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:14,657
Got to work on my tap-dancing
for my big community
theater audition.
27
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,367
Please,
if I could have some quiet...
28
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:18,244
I got these fat little
kangaroo legs.
29
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,163
Not ideal for funk tap.
30
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:23,500
I'm all knee.
Not like you, Stan.
You've got dancer's legs.
31
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:26,836
- Big muscular tree trunks.
Mighty oaks.
- Shut up!
32
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,838
Why do you always
have to be such a nuisance?
33
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:31,174
You're not exactly
perfect yourself, Stan.
34
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:34,010
You put my zoot suit
in the dryer,
shrunk the hell out of it.
35
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,054
- I look ridiculous.
- That's my zoot suit.
36
00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:38,181
Well, it fits me better.
37
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,893
Ugh. Come on, Francine.
Let's go somewhere
Roger can't bother us.
38
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:45,605
Why didn't you come see
my Cherry Poppin' Daddies
tribute band,
39
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,525
- The Hymen Bustin' Fathers?
- Please stop saying that.
40
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,905
What's that sound?
41
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:57,701
Check it out, Rogu.
I think these shoes are even
louder than my old ones.
42
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,207
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
43
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,876
I'm good on my feet,
but even better on my knees.
44
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:17,971
He's so annoying
and he's always around.
45
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,682
- It's like...
- Hold that thought.
46
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,727
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
47
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,062
Okay, you were saying?
48
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,772
It's like I can't even
remember anymore
49
00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,732
why we ever became friends
in the first place.
50
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:35,071
Well, when you first met
all those years ago at
Area 51, he saved...
51
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,906
No, no need for that.
52
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,908
He saved my life at Area 51,
53
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,828
so we escaped together
in a laundry truck,
drove back to Virginia
54
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,581
in a stolen PT Cruiser,
and I let him live with us.
55
00:02:44,582 --> 00:02:47,417
Eventually repaid
my life debt by saving his.
56
00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,460
Yada, yada, yada.
Because we were
really friends.
57
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,589
But why, Franny, my baby?
Why are we friends?
58
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,425
That's what I just
can't remember after all
these years together.
59
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,677
Everything he does
gets on my nerves these days.
60
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,972
The way he eats,
the way he walks.
Scratch that. Waddles.
61
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,807
Oh, my God, that voice.
62
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:05,351
Wow. This is
devastating stuff.
63
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,813
He's rude, he's selfish,
he's clumsy
and he's always snooping.
64
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,440
Okay. Those last two
are not--
65
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,530
You can't remember
why we're friends anymore?
66
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,116
- Well, same here.
- Are we even friends?
67
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,784
Friends do things
for each other.
68
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,828
What do you ever do for me
besides annoy me?
69
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,371
What do you ever do for me?
70
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,625
Maybe what you two need
is some time alone together
71
00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:31,044
to rediscover
why you're friends.
72
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,171
A desert island situation.
73
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:36,466
Please don't take offense
at this, but, Francine,
you absolute fool.
74
00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,051
More time together?
75
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:40,637
What I need is to get him
as far away from me
as possible.
76
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:43,348
Well, for once, I actually
agree with this piece of shit.
77
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:44,974
You're the piece of shit.
78
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,143
So, how about I go ahead
and check myself
into a hotel, then?
79
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,355
- Perfect. I'll even
drive you there.
- Well, thank you so very much.
80
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,315
We should swing by
Arby's on the way.
81
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:55,319
Great idea.
I think it's five for five
Beef 'n Cheddars.
82
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,572
I feel like I should
do something funny.
83
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,076
Is this it?
84
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:11,000
Maybe all I really can do
is just give it some time.
85
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,002
Hey, thanks for
listening, Klaus.
86
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:18,049
Steve, are you talking
to the paper-mache
sculpture of me
87
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:21,177
Jurgen made for his
court-mandated
art therapy class?
88
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,262
Sculpture?
89
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:24,555
Wow.
90
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,432
I guess I was just
so preoccupied with...
91
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,892
Oh, something weighing on you?
92
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,728
You know I'm this family's
sounding board.
93
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:34,607
- Lay it on me, bro.
- Well, I could use
a sympathetic ear.
94
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,025
So, there's this girl.
95
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,027
Oh...
96
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,989
Nice. Pound it.
97
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,784
And I'm confused
about where we...
98
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,411
- What's her name?
- Kelsey.
99
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:48,037
Oh...
100
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,540
- Does she have big ones?
- You know,
maybe I should talk to...
101
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:53,209
So here's what we do.
Fake mugging.
102
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,545
Then you swoop in
and be the hero.
103
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:57,880
Worked like a charm
for my boy Squirts.
104
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,799
I mean, he actually
went to jail for a while,
105
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,927
but there's all these
crazy chicks who write
to inmates and stuff.
106
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,637
Crazy hot chicks.
107
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,391
I'll reach out to Squirts
and see if he has
any pointers.
108
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:13,479
God, you drive so bad.
You drive so stupid.
109
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,398
I cannot wait
to be rid of you.
110
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:17,400
Everything about you,
just yuck.
111
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,152
All your stupid
little characters.
112
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,779
"Francine, I realize now
I was wrong."
113
00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,741
Stupido McDumbass,
Douche Inspector.
114
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:26,409
That's actually not a bad
character idea.
115
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,244
Ugh. You're the
absolute worst.
116
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:31,247
You are so loathsome.
How I loathe you.
117
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,582
I despise you.
118
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,084
Your name should be
Lindsay Loathe-han.
119
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,629
If you were a movie,
your name should be
Despise Like Us.
120
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,339
That is so dumb,
121
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,259
which is why it just makes
so much sense
that you would say it.
122
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:47,346
- Oh, sweet.
- Ugh. I'm so sick
of this song.
123
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:51,517
"Two Princes"
by the Spin Doctors?
You have the worst taste.
124
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,853
"Little Miss Can't Be Wrong"
by the Spin Doctors.
125
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,814
- Now that's music.
- My car, my song.
126
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,283
♪ Princes who adore you... ♪
127
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,826
♪ Little Miss,
Little Miss... ♪
128
00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,453
Aargh! I can't stand you!
129
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,969
Wow. Not a scratch on us.
130
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:36,229
Is Roger okay?
131
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,397
- Kind of.
- Shit.
132
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,193
Those asshats
at the regular hospital
pronounced you both dead,
133
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,653
so I brought you here.
134
00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,197
Now, I did have to employ
135
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:49,158
some unorthodox measures,
136
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:52,328
but it was the only way
I could save you.
137
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:53,955
Mirror.
138
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,874
Just know that it may
take some time
for you to adjust to.
139
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:57,960
Mirror.
140
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,006
Oh, I look fine.
And you gave me a haircut.
141
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,926
- Nice.
- Down here, Stan.
142
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,603
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
143
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,523
Oh, God. Aah!
I thought it was all
just a nightmare.
144
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:22,943
No.
145
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,278
Aah!
146
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,780
Watch it. You splashed me,
you brute.
147
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,907
Hey, can't quite reach
my Acqua Di Gio.
148
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,200
You already put some on.
149
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,828
Yeah, but I like to use a lot.
150
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,204
I'm happy right here.
151
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,045
No bacon. I'm a pescatarian.
152
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,299
Plus, I just can't have you
putting that kind of garbage
in our body, Stan.
153
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,384
Oh, my God.
I can't live like...
154
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,637
What the hell are you doing?
155
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,390
You think this is a
walk in the park for me?
I'm taking the edge off.
156
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,474
Damn it, Roger.
157
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,268
I've got my
performance review today.
158
00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:59,645
- I can't show up
to work drunk.
- Whatever.
159
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,398
- That's it.
I'm cutting you out.
- Stan, stop.
160
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,735
Listen. Maybe this is
just what you two need.
161
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:07,987
Your desert island situation.
162
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,657
A chance to rediscover
why you're friends.
163
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,577
I guess maybe I could feed you
some good answers
164
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,495
at your performance review.
165
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,832
And then we could use
those big, burly legs of yours
to nail my audition.
166
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,586
I suppose we have, at times,
made a pretty good team
in the past.
167
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,172
Maybe this could all be
for the best?
168
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,757
Best friends?
169
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,301
- The best of friends?
- The very best.
170
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:31,844
- Are we doing this?
- I think so.
171
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,513
- Are we [bleep] doing this?
- Hell, yeah, we're doing this.
172
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,182
Oi, oi, oi, oi!
173
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,600
Whoo!
174
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:40,436
Hey, look what I can do.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
175
00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,023
Stop.
176
00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,692
Okay, Steve,
small kink in your plan
177
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,946
to have my boy Squirts
help you get that girl
with the big ones.
178
00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,782
He apparently died
seven years ago.
179
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,368
- What do you have
behind your back?
- Nothing.
180
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:59,372
Telescoping-driving-cane-
with-articulating-
grabber-attachment.
181
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:01,791
Whoa! Were you talking
to that thing?
182
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:06,671
I'm sorry, but honestly,
it's kind of a better
listener than you.
183
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:12,635
You just always butt in
or miss the point
or make that sound.
184
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,972
- What sound?
- If anyone even
mentions a woman...
185
00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,807
Oh...
186
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:20,559
- Hey, Steve, you done
with Good Klaus?
- Good Klaus?
187
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,229
Ooh, it's Bad Klaus.
188
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,897
Well, cat's out of the bag,
I guess.
189
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,149
I... What?
You talk to it too?
190
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,485
Yeah, and I really need
to vent right now.
191
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,821
Jeff's home sick today,
and he's driving me crazy.
192
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,322
Home sick from what?
193
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,366
You know,
following that turtle
around the neighborhood.
194
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,159
I got dibs after Hayley.
195
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:41,163
And, guys, please don't leave
Good Klaus just lying around.
196
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:44,333
I found Rogu being
inappropriate with it.
197
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,545
And we don't want it
to end up like that old
teddy bear of his.
198
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:50,172
He literally tore that thing
a new A-hole.
199
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,091
Okay. I'll put him
in his room when I'm done.
200
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,592
His room?
201
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,053
Yeah, we kinda gave him
the spare guest room.
202
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:58,264
Shares a Jack-and-Jill bath
with Dad's office.
203
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,100
What? There's a...
Okay, never mind that.
204
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,562
Just talk to me, though,
not that thing.
205
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:06,522
I'm this family's
sounding board.
206
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:09,026
Talk to me!
207
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,320
Now, where were we?
208
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,700
- How you feeling, bud?
- Feeling good.
209
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,368
Feeling good 'cause
you're here, buddy.
210
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:22,204
I got you, pal.
I know how to chop it up
with Bullock.
211
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:25,416
- Smith.
- Go time.
212
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:28,085
My records indicate
that you missed
213
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,047
112 days of work last year.
214
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:33,924
- Where were you all that time?
- Mostly with your mom.
215
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,760
Mostly with your mom. What?
216
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:38,721
- What?
- Your mambo teacher.
217
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,931
Mostly with your
mambo teacher.
218
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:45,978
My mambo teacher is a saint.
How dare you?
219
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:50,066
Now,
what do you consider
your biggest strength?
220
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:53,069
Say,
"I'm good on my feet,
but even better on my knees."
221
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,403
What? No.
222
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,821
- Say it.
He'll think it's funny.
- No.
223
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,783
- No what?
- No one's better than me at--
224
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,994
Excuse me.
225
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,747
- Be quiet in there.
- Why are you ignoring
my suggestions?
226
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,457
Because your suggestions suck.
227
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,251
- You suck.
- I what?
228
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:12,588
Nothing. How about I tell you
some of my greatest
weaknesses?
229
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,760
A little liquid lunch.
230
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,429
Just like
in the old days, huh?
231
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:23,140
Are you offering me a beer?
232
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:24,433
- Yes.
- No.
233
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,602
One moment, please.
234
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,193
You can have a pumpkin ale.
235
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:37,947
Get the hell out of my office,
you bastard!
236
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:40,366
- You totally
screwed me in there.
- Oh, relax.
237
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,660
I'll help you
smooth things over
after my audition.
238
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,329
I'm not leaving work now
to go to your stupid audition.
239
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,539
But you promised.
240
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,624
What are you gonna do
about it, belly boy?
241
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:52,879
Uh-oh.
242
00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:00,970
Well, would you look at this?
I can control Stan's legs now.
243
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:04,266
And would you look at this?
Bicentennial quarter.
244
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,647
Look at you. So smug.
245
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,649
You may think
you've replaced me,
246
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,903
but I'm gonna make it
so the family will
talk to me again.
247
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,657
Wow. You really are
a good listener.
248
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,668
And now we wait.
249
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,422
Okay.
250
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,508
And you're sure
you want to go ahead
with the audition like this,
251
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:42,178
with your son in tow?
252
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,598
Oh, yeah. Little guy's
all tuckered out.
Couldn't find a sitter.
253
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,016
Won't slow me down a bit.
254
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,560
Now, I've prepared a little
tap-dance number for you.
255
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,688
These are auditions
for The Vagina Monologues.
256
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,274
Well, a little razzle-dazzle
couldn't hurt, right?
257
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,026
Certainly not.
258
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:22,760
Psst.
259
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:25,804
Old man, you seen
a baseball bat around here?
260
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,641
Baseball bat's been
sent out for cleaning.
261
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:32,102
- What?
- Uh, Roger, where...
262
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:34,647
You knocked me out
and left work to come here?
263
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,482
Stan, if you'll please
just let me
264
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,651
- hit you in the face
with a hammer.
- Ow!
265
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:41,237
You promised we'd come here,
you selfish piece of--
266
00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,905
- Ow!
- ,
267
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:47,160
Me, selfish? I knew
being stuck with you
would be a disaster.
268
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,664
Ow!
269
00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,674
Aah!
270
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,927
Crotch punch.
271
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,184
Oh.
272
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,523
Good news.
273
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:20,943
You survived your latest
train accident intact,
274
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,987
and I gave you a faux-hawk.
275
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:25,948
- Thanks, Doc. But listen.
- Is there any way...
276
00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,534
...that you could separate us?
277
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:32,788
To be honest,
he didn't actually need
278
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,207
to fuse you two together
in the first place.
279
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,542
Then why did you?
280
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,128
She told me you needed
a desert island situation.
281
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:44,008
So I gave you a body buddy
to rekindle your relationship.
282
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:47,052
It's worked wonders
for me and Billy.
283
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:50,806
No, it hasn't.
I hate you more than ever.
284
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,474
Quiet, Body-Billy.
285
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:56,812
So, yes, I can separate you.
But why would you want me to?
286
00:14:56,813 --> 00:15:00,691
Because, well, we've had
our desert island situation.
287
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:03,402
And we still can't seem
to remember why we're friends.
288
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,321
What we even do
for each other.
289
00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,905
So maybe...
290
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,241
Maybe we're not friends.
291
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,369
Then I suppose
what is needed is...
292
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,082
...a best-friend-ectomy.
293
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:22,254
Okay. Maybe I should
have thought this through
a little better.
294
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,673
No one's come
to talk to me yet.
295
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,593
Getting pretty hungry.
296
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,348
Good Klaus, we need to talk.
297
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:37,019
Ooh, here we go.
Gentleman, singular,
start your listening.
298
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,773
- It's about Bad Klaus.
- Real Klaus.
299
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:43,108
As much of an improvement
as you are over him
300
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,277
and as much as we like you...
301
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:48,364
- So much more than Bad Klaus.
- Much, much more than him.
302
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,699
Okay, not loving this.
303
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,493
He's still family.
304
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:56,455
And we decided
that keeping you around
is just too hurtful to him.
305
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,539
Oh, hell, yeah.
306
00:15:57,540 --> 00:16:00,084
Okay, we'd better
destroy this thing.
307
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:02,711
Otherwise it'll be too
tempting to go back to it.
308
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,213
- What now?
- Right.
309
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:07,257
Let's just toss it to Rogu.
He'll make short work of it.
310
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:10,219
No, wait.
It's me, Bad Klaus.
311
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:14,307
Can't even grunt.
Swallowed too much glue.
312
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,143
Wait! Help!
313
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,478
Oh, God.
314
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,105
Ooh!
315
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,649
Orangey, orangey.
316
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,401
No, no!
317
00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:29,321
No!
318
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:32,825
Okay, then.
Best of luck to you.
Have a nice eternity.
319
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,743
You too.
320
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,746
And tell the family,
I don't know, goodbye forever
from me, or whatever.
321
00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:38,832
It's been real.
322
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,087
♪ If you want to
buy me flowers ♪
323
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,007
♪ Just go ahead now
And if you... ♪
324
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,011
♪ And that's some bread now
This one... ♪
325
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,782
All clear.
You can come out now.
Sit up front if you want.
326
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,950
I'm good back here.
327
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,202
So you're really gonna
let me live with you?
328
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,122
I'm a man of my word.
We've got a bomb shelter
out back.
329
00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:22,332
I can leave groceries for you
once a month.
330
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,793
Cool, cool.
331
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,716
So, what's space like?
332
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,801
It's all right.
A lot of hydrogen.
333
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:36,138
And what kind of things
do you like to get up to
out there?
334
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,143
Glorxnars. I like glorxnars.
335
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:43,979
We don't have to do this,
you know.
336
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:48,066
I appreciate you
putting me up and all,
but silence is fine too.
337
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,693
Well, excuse me, baldy.
338
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:53,572
Whoa. Easy there, buckaroo.
You're wound
pretty tight, huh?
339
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:57,701
Sorry. I just...
Yes, I tend to be
a somewhat rigid person.
340
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,037
Is that your finger
poking around my anus?
341
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:03,707
Oh, you ain't lying, brother.
You are as tight
as a pencil sharpener.
342
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:07,002
Okay. If we're gonna
do this, though,
none of this inane small talk.
343
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,504
All right.
Tell me something real.
344
00:18:08,505 --> 00:18:10,339
Tell me, like,
a deep, dark secret.
345
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,049
But my rigidity...
346
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:13,884
- Come on, come on.
- No, not happening.
347
00:18:13,885 --> 00:18:16,512
Well, I guess
there is something, but...
348
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:20,224
- No, I can't. You'll laugh.
- Probably.
Okay, I'll go first.
349
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:22,851
Something personal
about me? No genitals.
350
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,770
Check it out. Smooth.
351
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:28,857
There is a complicated
system of cartilage that
can pop out in a way, but...
352
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:32,821
Okay, one thing
I've never told anyone is...
353
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,825
that I... I...
354
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,830
I've always wanted to try
growing a chinstrap beard.
355
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,873
- You should do it.
- Really?
356
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,458
Yeah, you got the chin for it.
357
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,211
Yeah, I'm picturing it,
and it looks awesome.
358
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,921
Yeah?
359
00:18:50,922 --> 00:18:53,382
Also, I saw my grandfather
kill a man with an axe
when I was nine.
360
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,927
And here I'd always heard
that it never hurts to axe.
361
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,597
You're funny. Did you
just come up with that?
362
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,559
I'm good on my feet,
but even better on my knees.
363
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,977
Oh!
364
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:09,147
- Can you even say that?
- You're adorable.
365
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,607
♪ Princes who adore you... ♪
366
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,068
- Oh, I love this song.
- Oh, me too.
367
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,778
♪ This one got a pepper
in his pockets ♪
368
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,238
♪ He's gonna buy you flowers ♪
369
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:17,698
- ♪ That's all red now ♪
- ♪ Go ahead ♪
370
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,157
♪ This one gotta rock
and gonna rock it ♪
371
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,742
♪ Said he's gonna
try a pocket ♪
372
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,244
- ♪ Go to bed now ♪
- ♪ Is what it said ♪
373
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,583
Well, this is it.
374
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,751
All right. Well,
guess I'll go get
375
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,670
set up in the bomb shelter.
376
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:35,257
You know, we do also
have some space in the attic,
377
00:19:35,258 --> 00:19:38,511
if you'd, I don't know,
rather stay in the house.
378
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:44,183
That happens sometimes
when I'm happy.
379
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:58,655
- Stan?
- Roger?
380
00:19:58,656 --> 00:20:01,700
Oh, thank God. Listen,
I remembered something.
381
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:05,120
Our friendship, it's not about
anything we do for each other,
382
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,289
it's about how it feels
when we're together.
383
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,626
Sounds like somebody
had a flashback
to our first road trip.
384
00:20:10,627 --> 00:20:12,169
I did.
385
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,130
I'm sorry I'd lost sight
of how special
our friendship is.
386
00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:19,468
It was only because
I'd gotten really, really,
really, really sick of you.
387
00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:21,638
Oh, Stan, me too.
388
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,140
I'm glad you got off
that bus, Roger.
389
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,808
I had to, Stan.
390
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,771
The bus driver caught me
jerking off under a blanket.
391
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,315
Come on, pal. Let's go home.
392
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:46,161
I'm afraid this time
I actually did have to
fuse you together.
393
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:49,665
Oh, well. There's no one else
I'd rather be stuck with.
394
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,166
Uh, Stan?
29290
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