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Narrator: In a fast-food
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restaurant...
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Kiss it! Kiss it!
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Oh!
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Narrator: In a public
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park...
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We're looking to get
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signatures for a good cause.
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It's just for "adult virgins not
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by choice."
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[ Laughter ]
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Narrator: And in a
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warehouse store.
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The next woman behind you,
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when you turn around, yell "milf
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alert!"
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[ Groans ]
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[ Hysterical laughter ]
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[ Horns honk ]
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Leaping lizards!
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We are at white castle, where
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we're gonna be working the
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registers, and we're gonna be
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trying to get tips, but it's not
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gonna be easy...
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Because the rest of us will
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be downstairs telling you what
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you got to say and do.
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We're gonna be the worst workers
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of all time, and if you don't
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get a tip... You lose.
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[ Record scratches ]
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Okay. I got somebody.
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This is it.
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Get ready.
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How are you?
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Okay.
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Scream the order back to him.
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So, that's one double
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white castle, four white castle
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burgers, and a small drink!
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[ Laughter ]
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Staying in?
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Staying!
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[ Laughter ]
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Waiting for card authorization.
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Approved!
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Approved!
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Ba-boom! Ba-boom! Ba-boom!
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Don't look at the guy.
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How many cheeseburgers?
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Four double cheeseburgers.
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And what's your name?
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Gary. Gary?
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Yes.
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Okay. And a beverage?
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Uh...
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[ Laughter ]
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Bottle of water.
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Just one bottle of water?
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You driving back to Brooklyn
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tonight?
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There's gonna be a lot of
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traffic on the sunrise highway.
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He just got a tip!
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Thank you for the tip, Gary.
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I appreciate it.
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Thank you, sir.
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Record scratches ]
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Hey. How you doing, ma'am?
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I'm great.
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Rhyme everything they ask
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for.
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Are you kidding me?
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Seven shmeeseburgers?
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An order of funion schmings.
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[ Laughter ]
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So that's seven beesvurgers,
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one... one funion dings... And
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one five-piece bleeze blicks?
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[ Laughter ]
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We do accept blips if you like
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the service.
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Blip... blip cup there.
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[ Groaning ]
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[ Laughter ]
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Murray, woman in. Woman in.
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Tell her, "my girlfriend thinks
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it's appropriate I work here."
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I got to tell you, my
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girlfriend loves that I work
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here...
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"'Cause I'm hung like a
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slider."
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Oh, my god.
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[ Laughter ]
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because she says I'm hung
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like a slider.
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Murr, flirt with this woman.
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Are you okay?
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Did you hurt your arm?
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Yeah.
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Seems like you... let me see.
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What'd you bang it on... over
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here?
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Let me see. Oh, my god.
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You actually have a bruise from
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it.
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Kiss it! Kiss it!
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[ Smooch! ]
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Anything else?
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Okay. So, let me read that back
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to you.
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"Six cheeseburgers for my
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sugar mama."
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Six cheeseburgers for my
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sugar mama.
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Three cheese-ring sandwiches...
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"For my boo-boo bear."
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for my boo-boo bear.
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Say, "I can give you an extra
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pickle with your order."
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I can give you an extra
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pickle with the order, if you
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want.
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Wink!
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[ Ting! ]
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I will tell you, there is a tip
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jar there if you feel you've had
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exceptional service.
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[ Groans ]
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Oh!
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Ohhh!
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You are a sweetheart. Mwah!
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You're a sweetheart. Thank you.
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[ Ding! ]
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$8.82, dork.
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Freeze! dork.
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Tag!
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Hold it!
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Stay!
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[ Laughter ]
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Don't move a muscle.
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[ Laughter ]
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This guy... he doesn't know what
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to do!
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[ Laughs ]
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What is he thinking?
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That's amazing.
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What is he thinking?
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[ Laughter ]E thinking?
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Oh, my god.
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This is epic!
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This is a total stalemate!
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Don't move!
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He hasn't broken yet.
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Don't laugh! Don't laugh!
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[ Laughs ]
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He just keeps looking back,
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left, and right at no one.
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He's not saying anything!
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[ Laughter ]Saying anything!
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This guy... he ain't winning
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this [bleep]
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Hold!
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Hold!
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This guy is not [bleep]
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Talking!
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He's not saying a word!
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[ Laughter, clapping ]
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Okay. Go.
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Thank you.
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Oh, my god.
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[ Laughter ]
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Here you go. Here you go.
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Old English. Old English. Yeah!
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Good morrow, sir, and welcome
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to the castle of white!
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What's thou craving?
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Bring it to me, and I shall slay
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it!
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Two burgers of ham!
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Two burgers of cheese!
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Your wit, sir, is legendary!
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[ Beeping ]
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'Tis confusion!
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[ Laughter ]
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Squire!
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[ Beep ]
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Sir?
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There's 53 cents.
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Oh!
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The most generous lord in all
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the land!
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Laughter ]
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You know when you're amongst
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losers and they have hats on and
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you just want to go, "you lost"?
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We do accept blips if you
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like the service.
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[ Groaning ]
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I didn't get a tip, but let
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me give you a tip.
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Do not underestimate me and
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think I will not come back.
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Narrator: Sal talks a pretty
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mean game... for a guy in an
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apron.
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But he better man up and do it
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quick.
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These days, it seems like
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everybody's got a cause.
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Save these trees.
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Sign here and I'll give this
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kid a shoe.
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So, today we are trying to
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get signatures for our fake
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causes.
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But the catch is that we do
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not know what the causes are.
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We haven't seen these, because
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we've written our causes for
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each other.
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I've written some horrific
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ones for you, my friend.
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And the goal is get as many
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signatures as you can.
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Whoever gets the least amount of
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signatures loses.
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I'm going.
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This is gonna be good.
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Excuse me, guys.
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We're looking to get signatures
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for a good cause.
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He has no clue what crazy
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causes we've written for him.
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Excuse me.
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Do you have a second for a
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signature?
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Excuse me.
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We're looking to get signatures
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for a good cause.
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It's, uh... it's just for "adult
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virgins not by choice."
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[ Laughter ]
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So, basically, um, I'm a
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virgin and not by choice,
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'cause I'd like to do something
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with a woman, so...
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Is she signing?
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She's signing!
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So bad, I want to, uh, you
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know, not be a virgin.
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[ Laughter ]
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We're looking to get signatures
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for a good cause today.
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Uh, it's to stop discrimination
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against men with micro penis
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like myself.
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Uh, yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.
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Yeah. That would be great.
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Thank you, man.
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He's signing it.
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No, you wouldn't believe it
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with us guys.
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[ Laughter ]
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I'll do what I can with what I
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have.
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[ Laughter ]
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Excuse me, sir?
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You're blowing your nose.
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I want nothing to do with you.
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This is a petition against that
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bitch Irene.
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[ Laughter ]
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Uh, you just... um, she's a
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bitch.
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Just trust me.
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[ Laughing ] She's signing
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it!
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Irene!
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Siren wails in distance ]
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Excuse me, ladies.
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Do you have one second?
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He does, like, a creepy
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approach.
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What is he doing?
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[ Mockingly ] Excuse me,
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ladies.
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Do you have one second?
294
00:07:47,389 --> 00:07:48,553
We're complaining about, you
295
00:07:48,554 --> 00:07:49,720
know... it's... it's enough with
296
00:07:49,721 --> 00:07:50,488
this rain, already.
297
00:07:50,488 --> 00:07:51,354
I mean, 'cause it's been
298
00:07:51,355 --> 00:07:54,320
raining, like, nonstop.
299
00:07:54,321 --> 00:07:55,687
Right? Yeah!
300
00:07:55,688 --> 00:07:59,653
Just enough with it, really.
301
00:07:59,654 --> 00:08:01,053
Just enough with it already.
302
00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:02,387
It's a little bit over the top
303
00:08:02,388 --> 00:08:04,387
at this point.
304
00:08:04,388 --> 00:08:04,821
Ha.
305
00:08:04,822 --> 00:08:06,187
He's not getting anything,
306
00:08:06,188 --> 00:08:06,554
man.
307
00:08:06,555 --> 00:08:07,987
Uh, we're getting signatures
308
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,253
today, um... For people that want
309
00:08:11,254 --> 00:08:12,454
to have sex with a person of
310
00:08:12,488 --> 00:08:13,787
your choosing on your birthday.
311
00:08:13,788 --> 00:08:15,120
So, you know, on your birthday,
312
00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:16,487
you know how you would prefer to
313
00:08:16,488 --> 00:08:17,753
have sex with somebody... no?
314
00:08:17,754 --> 00:08:19,587
Fail.
315
00:08:19,588 --> 00:08:20,887
It's unbelievable how many
316
00:08:20,888 --> 00:08:21,920
people signed for you.
317
00:08:21,921 --> 00:08:22,721
You seem real
318
00:08:22,721 --> 00:08:23,521
non-threatening.
319
00:08:23,522 --> 00:08:24,553
Murray doesn't seem
320
00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:25,221
threatening.
321
00:08:25,222 --> 00:08:26,453
I don't seem threatening.
322
00:08:26,454 --> 00:08:27,820
You want him moving in next
323
00:08:27,821 --> 00:08:28,454
door to you?
324
00:08:28,454 --> 00:08:28,888
No.
325
00:08:28,889 --> 00:08:29,920
Well, there you go.
326
00:08:29,921 --> 00:08:31,320
Hi. Do you have a few moments
327
00:08:31,321 --> 00:08:32,587
for me to talk to you about a
328
00:08:32,588 --> 00:08:33,421
cause real quick?
329
00:08:33,422 --> 00:08:34,653
Look how high-pitched his
330
00:08:34,654 --> 00:08:35,154
voice is.
331
00:08:35,155 --> 00:08:36,520
The more polite he gets, the
332
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:37,521
higher his voice goes.
333
00:08:37,521 --> 00:08:38,188
Hi. How are you?
334
00:08:38,188 --> 00:08:38,921
Hey. How are you?
335
00:08:38,921 --> 00:08:39,588
Hi. How are you?
336
00:08:39,588 --> 00:08:40,521
Can I talk to you about a
337
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:41,354
good cause for a moment?
338
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:41,954
Hi. How are you?
339
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:42,821
Hi. How are you?
340
00:08:42,821 --> 00:08:43,688
Hi. How are you?
341
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,920
Got a couple seconds to give
342
00:08:44,921 --> 00:08:46,153
me a signature just for a quick
343
00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:47,687
cause?
344
00:08:47,688 --> 00:08:48,953
It's to allow whites in
345
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:49,788
the military.
346
00:08:49,789 --> 00:08:51,353
[ Laughter ]
347
00:08:51,354 --> 00:08:53,787
Whites in the military, yeah.
348
00:08:53,788 --> 00:08:56,720
In the military.
349
00:08:56,721 --> 00:08:58,887
In al legs of the military...
350
00:08:58,888 --> 00:09:03,187
Air force, marines, coast guard.
351
00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:09,220
I got the pen right here.
352
00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:10,653
Well, I want to just get more
353
00:09:10,654 --> 00:09:11,621
white dicks.
354
00:09:11,654 --> 00:09:15,653
[ Laughter ]
355
00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:17,020
Hi. Would you like to sign a
356
00:09:17,021 --> 00:09:17,621
petition?
357
00:09:17,622 --> 00:09:18,787
It's a really good cause.
358
00:09:18,788 --> 00:09:20,320
Now, you look like somebody that
359
00:09:20,321 --> 00:09:21,420
wants to help me out.
360
00:09:21,421 --> 00:09:22,121
[ Laughter ]
361
00:09:22,122 --> 00:09:23,487
I must have mistaken you for
362
00:09:23,488 --> 00:09:24,288
somebody else.
363
00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:25,453
He's not getting anyone.
364
00:09:25,454 --> 00:09:26,720
This is a swing and a miss.
365
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:27,920
You guys help me out real
366
00:09:27,921 --> 00:09:28,988
quick... sign a petition?
367
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:30,588
It's, uh, to ban camel-toe.
368
00:09:30,621 --> 00:09:32,087
[ Laughter ] Ban camel-toe.
369
00:09:32,088 --> 00:09:32,854
There you go. See?
370
00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:33,987
We need more women behind the
371
00:09:33,988 --> 00:09:34,354
cause.
372
00:09:34,354 --> 00:09:35,088
I appreciate that.
373
00:09:35,089 --> 00:09:36,287
Keep the camel toes in the zoo.
374
00:09:36,288 --> 00:09:37,288
You know what I'm saying?
375
00:09:37,289 --> 00:09:39,221
Keep it in the zoo?
376
00:09:41,754 --> 00:09:43,120
I'm gathering signatures to
377
00:09:43,121 --> 00:09:44,121
support a good cause.
378
00:09:44,122 --> 00:09:45,154
It's not even a cause.
379
00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:46,320
I just need a signature.
380
00:09:46,321 --> 00:09:47,621
I just need a quick signature,
381
00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:48,021
man!
382
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,220
Q does not want to talk to
383
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:50,521
anyone, and no one wants to talk
384
00:09:50,554 --> 00:09:50,988
to him.
385
00:09:50,989 --> 00:09:52,020
It's just a signature.
386
00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:52,554
Hey, honey.
387
00:09:52,555 --> 00:09:53,820
Can I get you to sign a petition
388
00:09:53,821 --> 00:09:54,621
for a second, hon?
389
00:09:54,622 --> 00:09:56,287
Hey. Give me your signature.
390
00:09:56,288 --> 00:09:57,953
You're just gonna ignore me?
391
00:09:57,954 --> 00:09:59,453
I'm a man. I have emotions.
392
00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:00,820
He's getting blown by.
393
00:10:00,821 --> 00:10:02,087
He's just abrasive.
394
00:10:02,088 --> 00:10:03,620
It's a really good cause.
395
00:10:03,621 --> 00:10:05,287
Let me just get this out here.
396
00:10:05,288 --> 00:10:06,820
It's to allow people to date
397
00:10:06,821 --> 00:10:07,987
their first cousins.
398
00:10:07,988 --> 00:10:08,788
[ Laughter ]
399
00:10:08,789 --> 00:10:10,320
Uh, right now it's illegal.
400
00:10:10,321 --> 00:10:11,987
You got to see my first cousin.
401
00:10:11,988 --> 00:10:13,587
Like you never wanted to bone
402
00:10:13,588 --> 00:10:14,388
your cousin.
403
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:16,053
It's just a petition... just a
404
00:10:16,054 --> 00:10:16,754
signature.
405
00:10:16,755 --> 00:10:18,353
Nothing to it... nothing big.
406
00:10:18,354 --> 00:10:19,920
It's for the, uh... oh, boy.
407
00:10:19,921 --> 00:10:21,420
The public restroom mas...
408
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,654
the public restroom
409
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,420
masturbation act.
410
00:10:25,421 --> 00:10:29,920
I don't blame you, sir.
411
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,453
[ Clipboard clatters ]
412
00:10:31,454 --> 00:10:33,520
[ Indistinct talking ]
413
00:10:33,521 --> 00:10:35,221
He's giving up!
414
00:10:35,254 --> 00:10:36,553
[ Laughter ]
415
00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,753
So, not one but two losers...
416
00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:39,721
Murray and q couldn't get a
417
00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:40,388
single signature.
418
00:10:40,388 --> 00:10:41,188
How do you like that?
419
00:10:41,189 --> 00:10:42,220
It's enough with this rain
420
00:10:42,221 --> 00:10:43,720
already.
421
00:10:43,721 --> 00:10:44,421
Hey, honey.
422
00:10:44,422 --> 00:10:45,753
Can I get you to sign a petition
423
00:10:45,754 --> 00:10:46,588
for a second, hon?
424
00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:48,153
I tried.
425
00:10:48,154 --> 00:10:49,253
And you failed.
426
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:50,987
Narrator: Q and murr join sal
427
00:10:50,988 --> 00:10:52,754
in loserville, with the toughest
428
00:10:52,788 --> 00:10:54,853
tests yet to come.
429
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:55,654
Coming up...
430
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,353
The guys dare each other to get
431
00:10:57,354 --> 00:10:58,820
a little too friendly with
432
00:10:58,821 --> 00:10:59,521
strangers.
433
00:10:59,522 --> 00:11:00,920
From north Carolina?
434
00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:02,553
I got a handy there once.
435
00:11:02,554 --> 00:11:03,321
I got...
436
00:11:03,321 --> 00:11:04,021
[ Laughs ]
437
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:05,753
Narrator: And later, the wuss
438
00:11:05,754 --> 00:11:07,320
with the most fails pays the
439
00:11:07,321 --> 00:11:09,721
price.
440
00:11:14,321 --> 00:11:15,820
[ Record scratches ]
441
00:11:15,821 --> 00:11:17,020
We're in Times Square, and
442
00:11:17,021 --> 00:11:18,287
today we're going to be Manning
443
00:11:18,288 --> 00:11:19,453
a tourist-information booth.
444
00:11:19,454 --> 00:11:20,720
We'll be wearing these nifty
445
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:21,321
red jackets.
446
00:11:21,322 --> 00:11:22,420
Yeah, and we'll have an
447
00:11:22,421 --> 00:11:23,487
earpiece in, too, and the
448
00:11:23,488 --> 00:11:24,753
challenge is you have to say or
449
00:11:24,754 --> 00:11:26,020
do whatever the other guys tell
450
00:11:26,021 --> 00:11:26,354
you.
451
00:11:26,355 --> 00:11:28,288
And if you refuse, you lose.
452
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,253
Hey. How you doing?
453
00:11:33,254 --> 00:11:36,987
You guys have any questions?
454
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,020
Central park from here?
455
00:11:38,021 --> 00:11:39,121
Now, do you guys want to
456
00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:40,453
catch a titty while you're here?
457
00:11:40,454 --> 00:11:41,753
Listen, if you want to catch?
458
00:11:41,754 --> 00:11:44,053
A, uh... like, a titty...
459
00:11:44,054 --> 00:11:45,220
That's a couple blocks up.
460
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:46,487
That's a block up that way
461
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:47,221
and to the left.
462
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:48,253
You know what I'm saying?
463
00:11:48,254 --> 00:11:49,920
You know what I mean?
464
00:11:49,921 --> 00:11:51,787
Oh! Oh! Ohh, I'm sorry.
465
00:11:51,788 --> 00:11:53,820
Are you guys married?
466
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:54,754
Soon. Okay.
467
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,487
Have you hit that yet?
468
00:11:56,488 --> 00:11:58,620
Okay. Right. Yeah. All right.
469
00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:00,153
Have you hit it yet?
470
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:02,088
I don't know. I'm not asking.
471
00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:07,887
Uh, yeah. Do you have a pen?
472
00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:08,920
All right.
473
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:11,120
I'll write that down for you.
474
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,121
Launch the pen.
475
00:12:12,121 --> 00:12:12,654
And?
476
00:12:12,655 --> 00:12:13,987
Tom Brady that [bleep]
477
00:12:13,988 --> 00:12:20,187
[ Laughter ]
478
00:12:20,188 --> 00:12:21,453
Hey, you want me to take the
479
00:12:21,454 --> 00:12:21,921
picture?
480
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:22,554
Walk away.
481
00:12:22,555 --> 00:12:23,620
Walk away with the camera.
482
00:12:23,621 --> 00:12:24,787
Look at him. Look at him!
483
00:12:24,788 --> 00:12:26,153
Hello?
484
00:12:26,154 --> 00:12:27,054
Yes.
485
00:12:27,054 --> 00:12:27,821
No.
486
00:12:27,822 --> 00:12:28,887
No.
487
00:12:28,888 --> 00:12:31,153
No! No! No! No!
488
00:12:31,154 --> 00:12:32,320
Oh, hi.
489
00:12:32,321 --> 00:12:33,653
You're welcome.
490
00:12:33,654 --> 00:12:35,553
[ Ding! ]
491
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,453
Can I help anyone? Questions?
492
00:12:37,454 --> 00:12:38,953
Hi. Where you guys from?
493
00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:40,153
North Carolina.
494
00:12:40,154 --> 00:12:41,787
I got a handy there once.
495
00:12:41,788 --> 00:12:43,120
I got...
496
00:12:43,121 --> 00:12:44,353
[ Laughs ]
497
00:12:44,354 --> 00:12:45,753
[ Laughter ]
498
00:12:45,754 --> 00:12:47,720
Oh. North Carolina?
499
00:12:47,721 --> 00:12:50,387
I got a hand job there once.
500
00:12:50,388 --> 00:12:51,853
[ Laughter ]
501
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:52,920
Yeah!
502
00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:54,920
[ Ding! ]
503
00:12:54,921 --> 00:12:55,987
Hi. How are you?
504
00:12:55,988 --> 00:12:57,253
Kiss them. Kiss them.
505
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,720
Welcome to New York, sir.
506
00:12:58,721 --> 00:12:59,421
Mwah! Mwah!
507
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:00,787
Thank you. Thank you.
508
00:13:00,788 --> 00:13:01,820
Welcome, ma'am.
509
00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:02,521
Mwah! Mwah!
510
00:13:02,521 --> 00:13:03,488
Keep doing it!
511
00:13:03,489 --> 00:13:04,520
Keep going.
512
00:13:04,521 --> 00:13:05,753
Mwah! Welcome.
513
00:13:05,754 --> 00:13:06,787
Mwah! Welcome.
514
00:13:06,788 --> 00:13:08,353
He's ridiculous!
515
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,753
Mwah! Mwah!
516
00:13:09,754 --> 00:13:11,887
Ha ha! Mwah! Mwah!
517
00:13:11,888 --> 00:13:13,921
[ Ding! ]
518
00:13:13,954 --> 00:13:15,387
Questions?
519
00:13:15,388 --> 00:13:16,853
Any question you have.
520
00:13:16,854 --> 00:13:18,687
Take a bite of this lady's
521
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:19,621
granola bar.
522
00:13:19,621 --> 00:13:20,321
Uh...
523
00:13:20,322 --> 00:13:22,087
I didn't get a break today.
524
00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:23,653
Bite her granola bar.
525
00:13:23,654 --> 00:13:25,653
Thanks. I didn't get a break.
526
00:13:25,654 --> 00:13:26,588
[ Laughter ]
527
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,488
Oh, my god!
528
00:13:27,488 --> 00:13:28,421
Oh, my god!
529
00:13:28,422 --> 00:13:29,953
Was there already a bite
530
00:13:29,954 --> 00:13:31,053
taken out of that?
531
00:13:31,054 --> 00:13:31,954
Half-eaten.
532
00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:32,821
[ Groans ]
533
00:13:32,822 --> 00:13:34,353
Sal's throwing up in his
534
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:35,354
mouth right now.
535
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:36,354
That is gross.
536
00:13:36,355 --> 00:13:38,053
What do you got on the 'pod?
537
00:13:38,054 --> 00:13:39,720
Start dancing to it.
538
00:13:39,721 --> 00:13:41,520
Yeah.
539
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,020
Old-school, Joe-dance-floor
540
00:13:43,021 --> 00:13:43,554
[bleep]
541
00:13:43,555 --> 00:13:44,987
[ Laughter ]
542
00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:47,220
Old-school ghetto.
543
00:13:47,221 --> 00:13:53,787
[ Laughter ]
544
00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:55,220
What are you guys doing out
545
00:13:55,221 --> 00:13:55,654
here?
546
00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:57,020
Just answering questions.
547
00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:58,487
Work the word "circumcision"
548
00:13:58,488 --> 00:13:59,388
into your answer.
549
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:00,254
[ Chuckles ]
550
00:14:00,288 --> 00:14:03,153
Ah, well, there's that.
551
00:14:03,154 --> 00:14:04,887
[ Buzzer ]
552
00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:06,287
It really does surprise me
553
00:14:06,288 --> 00:14:07,453
that you lost this one.
554
00:14:07,454 --> 00:14:08,587
Explain this to me.
555
00:14:08,588 --> 00:14:10,053
You can have your ass grinding
556
00:14:10,054 --> 00:14:10,921
against a woman.
557
00:14:10,922 --> 00:14:12,287
You're right up in someone's
558
00:14:12,288 --> 00:14:13,720
grille, but you cannot say the
559
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:14,753
word "circumcision"?
560
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,053
Ah, well, there's that.
561
00:14:17,054 --> 00:14:18,253
I'm not gonna talk to a pretty
562
00:14:18,254 --> 00:14:19,387
girl about snipping the tip.
563
00:14:19,388 --> 00:14:21,453
I got standards, gentlemen.
564
00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:22,687
Narrator: Joe's ladylike
565
00:14:22,688 --> 00:14:23,688
behavior cost him the
566
00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:24,953
challenge... and a possible
567
00:14:24,954 --> 00:14:25,321
date.
568
00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:26,487
Now we've got ourselves a
569
00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:27,820
four-way tie for last, and it
570
00:14:27,821 --> 00:14:29,053
all comes down to our final
571
00:14:29,054 --> 00:14:31,120
challenge...
572
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,453
A jumbo-sized smackdown in
573
00:14:33,454 --> 00:14:34,354
costco.
574
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:38,020
I'm sorry, moustache.
575
00:14:38,021 --> 00:14:40,520
Well, don't call me "clown."
576
00:14:40,521 --> 00:14:41,653
All right, moustache.
577
00:14:41,654 --> 00:14:42,820
Don't call me "clown."
578
00:14:42,821 --> 00:14:44,453
Narrator: The guys better sac
579
00:14:44,454 --> 00:14:45,887
up, 'cause the next loser is
580
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:47,353
gonna have himself one crappy
581
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:49,521
day.
582
00:14:51,988 --> 00:14:53,453
Ourselves a barn burner thanks
583
00:14:53,454 --> 00:14:54,887
to a four-loser pileup in last
584
00:14:54,888 --> 00:14:55,953
place.
585
00:14:55,954 --> 00:14:57,853
Who's going to pay the ultimate
586
00:14:57,854 --> 00:14:58,421
price?
587
00:14:58,422 --> 00:15:00,288
It all comes down to the final
588
00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:03,953
challenge.
589
00:15:03,954 --> 00:15:05,220
So, we're at everyone's
590
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:06,687
favorite store, costco, and the
591
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,053
challenge today is we will be
592
00:15:08,054 --> 00:15:08,954
playing cashiers.
593
00:15:08,955 --> 00:15:10,620
We're wearing an earpiece, and
594
00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,120
we have to say whatever the
595
00:15:12,121 --> 00:15:13,620
other guys tell us to say.
596
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,253
We'll be saying things that
597
00:15:15,254 --> 00:15:16,753
normally get people fired.
598
00:15:16,754 --> 00:15:18,453
And if you refuse, you lose.
599
00:15:18,454 --> 00:15:20,020
We are gonna be the worst
600
00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:20,921
cashiers ever.
601
00:15:20,922 --> 00:15:22,520
[ Record scratches ]
602
00:15:22,521 --> 00:15:24,387
Whoa! Stop that!
603
00:15:24,388 --> 00:15:25,720
[ Laughter ]
604
00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:26,721
[ Clatter ]
605
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,654
[ Laughter ]
606
00:15:30,954 --> 00:15:32,320
Here we go.
607
00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:35,620
Hello. Welcome to costco.
608
00:15:35,621 --> 00:15:37,887
Jean-Luc... are you French?
609
00:15:37,888 --> 00:15:38,354
Oh.
610
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:39,853
"I hate the French."
611
00:15:39,854 --> 00:15:41,587
I-I got to be honest.
612
00:15:41,588 --> 00:15:43,753
I [bleep] hate the French.
613
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:44,920
[ Laughter ]
614
00:15:44,921 --> 00:15:46,787
Your total is $272.44.
615
00:15:46,788 --> 00:15:48,120
Make it rain.
616
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,853
Make it rain, bitch.
617
00:15:49,854 --> 00:15:50,953
[ Laughter ]
618
00:15:50,954 --> 00:15:51,454
Oh.
619
00:15:51,455 --> 00:15:52,587
Rip it up.
620
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:53,454
Great.
621
00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:55,220
Just rip it in half.
622
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:56,287
[ Laughter ]
623
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,053
Great.
624
00:15:59,054 --> 00:16:00,021
What, is this?
625
00:16:00,022 --> 00:16:01,553
"I'm sorry. That's not valid.
626
00:16:01,554 --> 00:16:02,554
That's been ripped."
627
00:16:02,554 --> 00:16:03,488
This is ripped.
628
00:16:03,488 --> 00:16:04,288
It's not valid.
629
00:16:04,288 --> 00:16:04,988
[ Laughter ]
630
00:16:04,989 --> 00:16:06,453
What's the, uh... what's the
631
00:16:06,454 --> 00:16:07,787
occasion with all this cake?
632
00:16:07,788 --> 00:16:10,087
Something good?
633
00:16:10,088 --> 00:16:11,520
Yell out... oh.
634
00:16:11,521 --> 00:16:13,420
"Who kicked the bucket?"
635
00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:14,354
Cake.
636
00:16:14,355 --> 00:16:15,420
[ Laughter ]
637
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:16,254
[ Beep ]
638
00:16:16,255 --> 00:16:17,520
[ Laughing ] Who caked the
639
00:16:17,521 --> 00:16:17,954
bucket?
640
00:16:17,955 --> 00:16:20,053
[ Laughter ]
641
00:16:20,054 --> 00:16:21,220
"Who caked the bucket?"
642
00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:22,420
"Who caked the bucket?"
643
00:16:22,421 --> 00:16:22,921
[ Beep ]
644
00:16:22,922 --> 00:16:24,320
[ Laughing ] Who... honestly,
645
00:16:24,321 --> 00:16:25,620
though, who caked the bucket?
646
00:16:25,621 --> 00:16:26,887
I cannot believe you said
647
00:16:26,888 --> 00:16:27,254
that.
648
00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:29,287
[ Ding! ]
649
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,020
The next woman behind you,
650
00:16:31,021 --> 00:16:32,820
when you turn around, yell "milf
651
00:16:32,821 --> 00:16:34,087
alert!"
652
00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:35,253
[ Groans ]
653
00:16:35,254 --> 00:16:36,353
[ Laughter ]
654
00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:37,720
Hey. Milf alert.
655
00:16:37,721 --> 00:16:38,853
[ Laughter ]
656
00:16:38,854 --> 00:16:39,688
[ Beep ]
657
00:16:39,689 --> 00:16:41,520
This is so hard to do.
658
00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:42,354
[ Beep ]
659
00:16:42,388 --> 00:16:44,020
Are you guys married?
660
00:16:44,021 --> 00:16:45,021
Shake his hand and
661
00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:46,353
congratulate him on securing
662
00:16:46,354 --> 00:16:47,387
such a piece of ass.
663
00:16:47,388 --> 00:16:48,820
That's a hell of a piece of
664
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:49,688
ass there, sir.
665
00:16:49,689 --> 00:16:51,587
[ Laughter ]
666
00:16:51,588 --> 00:16:53,220
Anyone ever tell you you look
667
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,253
like Justin bieber?
668
00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:55,021
Hey.
669
00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:56,087
[ Chuckles ]
670
00:16:56,088 --> 00:16:57,153
[ Laughter ]
671
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:57,954
[ Beep ]
672
00:16:57,955 --> 00:16:59,020
Anyone ever tell you you look
673
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,520
like Justin bieber?
674
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,454
1975 called.
675
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,153
They want their chest hair back.
676
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:05,487
[ Chuckles ]
677
00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:09,020
1975 called.
678
00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:09,721
[ Beep ]
679
00:17:09,722 --> 00:17:11,487
That's it. They just called.
680
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:12,388
[ Laughter ]
681
00:17:12,388 --> 00:17:13,088
[ Beep ]
682
00:17:13,088 --> 00:17:13,621
Okay.
683
00:17:13,622 --> 00:17:15,220
There is a megasale on
684
00:17:15,221 --> 00:17:16,520
tampons in aisle 5.
685
00:17:16,521 --> 00:17:17,754
Nope.
686
00:17:17,788 --> 00:17:19,853
[ Buzzer ]
687
00:17:19,854 --> 00:17:21,853
Q, tell her, "I see you got
688
00:17:21,854 --> 00:17:23,920
us juice for tomorrow morning."
689
00:17:23,921 --> 00:17:25,253
Ooh.
690
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,620
Oh. Mango juice.
691
00:17:26,621 --> 00:17:27,953
That was very thoughtful of you
692
00:17:27,954 --> 00:17:29,053
to get that mango juice.
693
00:17:29,054 --> 00:17:30,253
"Is that for us tomorrow
694
00:17:30,254 --> 00:17:30,754
morning?"
695
00:17:30,755 --> 00:17:32,087
'Cause there's nothing I love
696
00:17:32,088 --> 00:17:33,420
in the morning more than a cold
697
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:34,388
glass of mango juice.
698
00:17:34,389 --> 00:17:36,853
Oh! Oh!
699
00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:38,320
Oh. Hello.
700
00:17:38,321 --> 00:17:39,753
Can you just ease up on the
701
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:40,321
attitude?
702
00:17:40,321 --> 00:17:41,221
Okay, Diane.
703
00:17:41,222 --> 00:17:42,653
I'm gonna ask you to just ease
704
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,187
up on the attitude a little bit.
705
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:44,888
[ Laughter ]
706
00:17:44,889 --> 00:17:46,387
My mother... I wish she knew how
707
00:17:46,388 --> 00:17:47,354
to make lamb rack.
708
00:17:47,355 --> 00:17:48,620
It was all TV dinners and,
709
00:17:48,621 --> 00:17:49,121
like...
710
00:17:49,121 --> 00:17:50,088
"Cigarette burns."
711
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:51,220
cigarette burns.
712
00:17:51,221 --> 00:17:51,921
[ Laughter ]
713
00:17:51,922 --> 00:17:53,253
You're gonna hit the next
714
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:54,320
customer with a "hey,
715
00:17:54,321 --> 00:17:54,988
moustache."
716
00:17:54,989 --> 00:17:58,420
I'm sorry, moustache. I'm...
717
00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:01,120
Don't call you...
718
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,187
See, I couldn't even do it,
719
00:18:02,188 --> 00:18:02,688
moustache.
720
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,753
I had to...
721
00:18:04,754 --> 00:18:06,287
I wasn't speaking to you.
722
00:18:06,288 --> 00:18:08,387
I was speaking to her.
723
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,787
"Don't call me "clown.""
724
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,653
Well, don't call me "clown."
725
00:18:11,654 --> 00:18:12,654
"Don't call me 'clown, '
726
00:18:12,654 --> 00:18:13,154
moustache."
727
00:18:13,154 --> 00:18:14,121
All right, moustache.
728
00:18:14,122 --> 00:18:15,353
Don't call me "clown" is all i'm
729
00:18:15,354 --> 00:18:15,754
saying.
730
00:18:15,755 --> 00:18:17,453
[ Ding! ]
731
00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:18,787
Do I scan each one of these,
732
00:18:18,788 --> 00:18:19,388
or just one?
733
00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:20,720
Joe, tell the next lady, "is
734
00:18:20,721 --> 00:18:21,921
it me, or do I feel something
735
00:18:21,954 --> 00:18:23,520
between us?"
736
00:18:23,521 --> 00:18:25,653
Um... I'm married, so... just
737
00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:26,654
so you know.
738
00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,787
I don't want it to get awkward.
739
00:18:28,788 --> 00:18:30,753
Touch him with your nose.
740
00:18:30,754 --> 00:18:33,553
Put your nose on him.
741
00:18:33,554 --> 00:18:36,753
Do it!
742
00:18:36,754 --> 00:18:37,953
[ Laughter ]
743
00:18:37,954 --> 00:18:38,521
Thank you.
744
00:18:38,522 --> 00:18:39,953
Put your nose right on his
745
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:40,554
shoulder.
746
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,288
Go! Do it!
747
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:42,054
All right.
748
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:42,788
And Richard.
749
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:43,388
[ Ting! ]
750
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:44,188
Good. All set.
751
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,153
[ Laughter ]
752
00:18:46,154 --> 00:18:47,920
Put your nose on him.
753
00:18:47,921 --> 00:18:48,788
$20.
754
00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:49,688
[ Ting! ]
755
00:18:49,688 --> 00:18:50,421
$23.
756
00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,220
[ Laughter ]
757
00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:53,820
All right.
758
00:18:53,821 --> 00:18:55,620
[ Laughter ]
759
00:18:55,621 --> 00:18:58,287
And change.
760
00:18:58,288 --> 00:18:59,953
You can do it. You can do it.
761
00:18:59,954 --> 00:19:00,788
[ Laughter ]
762
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,553
It's tough.
763
00:19:02,554 --> 00:19:04,720
Did you...
764
00:19:04,721 --> 00:19:06,053
Let's go. There he goes.
765
00:19:06,054 --> 00:19:07,420
He's gonna get her nose!
766
00:19:07,421 --> 00:19:09,320
He noses the card!
767
00:19:09,321 --> 00:19:10,420
[ Ting! ]
768
00:19:10,421 --> 00:19:11,221
Total.
769
00:19:11,222 --> 00:19:13,053
Can you swipe there?
770
00:19:13,054 --> 00:19:14,121
[ Ting! ]
771
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,120
[ All cheering ]
772
00:19:16,121 --> 00:19:17,220
[ Ding! ]
773
00:19:17,221 --> 00:19:18,587
Nosed!
774
00:19:18,588 --> 00:19:20,087
Well, we did what we were
775
00:19:20,088 --> 00:19:21,287
told, but sal didn't.
776
00:19:21,288 --> 00:19:22,620
There is a megasale on
777
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:23,720
tampons in aisle 5.
778
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:24,288
Nope.
779
00:19:24,321 --> 00:19:25,920
[ Distorted voice ] Nope.
780
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:27,053
[ Normal voice ] I am never
781
00:19:27,054 --> 00:19:27,954
gonna be comfortable.
782
00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:29,120
I don't even really know what
783
00:19:29,121 --> 00:19:30,353
happens with women down there.
784
00:19:30,354 --> 00:19:31,553
You are such a loser, dude.
785
00:19:31,554 --> 00:19:32,587
Don't call me "loser,"
786
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:33,088
moustache.
787
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,087
[ Laughter ]
788
00:19:35,088 --> 00:19:36,953
Narrator: Shocking absolutely
789
00:19:36,954 --> 00:19:38,853
no one, sal's our loser du jour,
790
00:19:38,854 --> 00:19:40,687
and now it's time for the other
791
00:19:40,688 --> 00:19:42,353
guys to make him pay for his
792
00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:43,021
failure.
793
00:19:43,021 --> 00:19:44,021
Punishment time.
794
00:19:44,022 --> 00:19:45,553
So, little-known fact... sal
795
00:19:45,554 --> 00:19:46,221
loves dogs.
796
00:19:46,221 --> 00:19:46,954
Oh, dogs?
797
00:19:46,954 --> 00:19:47,488
Yeah.
798
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:48,620
That's not really a
799
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:49,288
punishment.
800
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:49,921
Well...
801
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:51,487
What do I have to do to dogs?
802
00:19:51,488 --> 00:19:52,221
[ Laughter ]
803
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:53,687
What do I have to do to a dog?
804
00:19:53,688 --> 00:19:54,688
You'll find out.
805
00:19:54,688 --> 00:19:55,454
I'll stay.
806
00:19:55,454 --> 00:19:55,921
No!
807
00:19:55,921 --> 00:19:56,588
Get out!
808
00:19:56,589 --> 00:19:58,521
Come on!
809
00:20:05,054 --> 00:20:06,353
When you fail at as many
810
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:07,720
challenges as sal has, you get
811
00:20:07,721 --> 00:20:08,288
punished.
812
00:20:08,289 --> 00:20:09,720
So, we've designed what we think
813
00:20:09,721 --> 00:20:11,053
is the perfect punishment for
814
00:20:11,054 --> 00:20:11,654
sal today.
815
00:20:11,654 --> 00:20:12,521
Absolutely is.
816
00:20:12,521 --> 00:20:13,454
Sal's a complete
817
00:20:13,455 --> 00:20:14,687
germophobe... clean freak.
818
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:16,553
So, we're here at the dog park.
819
00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:18,353
The punishment is he has to go
820
00:20:18,354 --> 00:20:19,487
pick up dog poop...
821
00:20:19,488 --> 00:20:21,453
And hold it for 20 seconds.
822
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,220
I can't believe I have to
823
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,220
walk over to this dog right now
824
00:20:25,221 --> 00:20:26,188
and do this.
825
00:20:26,188 --> 00:20:27,188
[ Dog barks ]
826
00:20:27,189 --> 00:20:29,253
Okay. There's three rottweilers.
827
00:20:29,254 --> 00:20:34,353
[ Dogs barking ]
828
00:20:34,354 --> 00:20:35,853
Oh, god.
829
00:20:35,854 --> 00:20:39,453
He's going in! He's going in!
830
00:20:39,454 --> 00:20:40,587
I got it.
831
00:20:40,588 --> 00:20:41,654
I got it!
832
00:20:41,688 --> 00:20:43,887
You know, pay it forward.
833
00:20:43,888 --> 00:20:45,753
I'll do you the solid.
834
00:20:45,754 --> 00:20:47,087
No, it's good.
835
00:20:47,088 --> 00:20:48,354
I'm a collector.
836
00:20:48,388 --> 00:20:50,153
[ Laughter ]
837
00:20:50,154 --> 00:20:55,153
[ Dogs bark ]
838
00:20:55,154 --> 00:20:56,154
Good-looking dog.
839
00:20:56,154 --> 00:20:56,921
[ Laughter ]
840
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,553
He's gonna walk out of there
841
00:20:58,554 --> 00:20:59,920
and throw up all over the
842
00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:00,854
[bleep] Place.
843
00:21:00,855 --> 00:21:04,353
[ Laughter ]
844
00:21:04,354 --> 00:21:05,853
Where do I go?
845
00:21:05,854 --> 00:21:08,520
[ Laughter ]
846
00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:10,620
Get away from me!
847
00:21:10,621 --> 00:21:12,120
Oh, my god!
848
00:21:12,121 --> 00:21:14,420
[ Laughter ]
849
00:21:14,421 --> 00:21:18,520
[ Groans ]
850
00:21:18,521 --> 00:21:21,153
He can't get it!
851
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,620
[ Coughing ]
852
00:21:23,621 --> 00:21:24,953
Here. I have a tissue.
853
00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:26,853
Come on. You know it's not
854
00:21:26,854 --> 00:21:28,121
gonna do anything.
855
00:21:28,154 --> 00:21:29,787
Here. Here.
856
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,853
More. Come on.
857
00:21:30,854 --> 00:21:32,453
Stop being greedy with it!
858
00:21:32,454 --> 00:21:35,420
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
859
00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:38,287
That was rottweiler [bleep] man!
860
00:21:38,288 --> 00:21:40,587
That was a 150-pound dog!
861
00:21:40,588 --> 00:21:42,521
Oh, my god!
47263
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