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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
2
00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:23,050
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:25,980
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,780
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:34,010
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:37,180
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,750
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:42,380
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:45,010
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,650
♪ and there
ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,650
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,110
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,980
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:56,850
♪ without us?
15
00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,380
♪ sha-la-la-la
16
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,000
How do I look?
17
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,030
Oh...
18
00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:09,330
You look great.
19
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,330
Well...
20
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,900
It's important, mom.
21
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,730
You look fine.
I promise.
22
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:15,860
Yeah.
23
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,700
You look, uh...
24
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,200
Keep in touch!
25
00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:23,800
Don't take it personally,
honey.
26
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:26,500
Jennifer is turning
into a teenage girl.
27
00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:29,060
You know, an exciting,
wonderful being...
28
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,400
from another planet.
29
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,000
Elyse, this isn't the first time
she's walked into a room
30
00:01:34,030 --> 00:01:35,530
and acted like
I wasn't there.
31
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,330
We just don't seem
to connect anymore.
32
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,200
We used to have
so much in common.
33
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:41,200
Well, you still have
a lot of things in common.
34
00:01:41,230 --> 00:01:43,960
She's just not interested
in them anymore.
35
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,260
All right, Mallory.
36
00:01:46,300 --> 00:01:48,830
I am never, ever getting
in a car with you again.
37
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:52,330
All I did was tell
The truth, Alex.
38
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:53,830
You did not
tell the truth.
39
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:56,960
I came to a complete stop,
a complete and total stop.
40
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,360
Yeah, you stopped.
41
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:01,810
What happened?
42
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,380
I'll tell you
what happened.
43
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,650
My so-called sister and I
are driving downtown
44
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:06,880
on South High Street.
45
00:02:06,910 --> 00:02:08,650
Right in front
of Lazarus, there.
46
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,950
And for some crazy reason,
I don't know why,
47
00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:13,380
a police officer,
one of Columbus' finest
48
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:15,980
and least sighted,
pulls me over.
49
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,880
He says I did not come
to a complete stop.
50
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:22,950
"Officer," I said,
"I did come to a complete stop."
51
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:25,250
And Mallory says,
52
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:30,680
"Don't lie, Alex."
53
00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:32,050
Can you believe it?
54
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,410
Can you possibly comprehend it?
"Don't lie, Alex"?
55
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:39,310
I felt it was my duty
as a citizen of Columbus.
56
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:43,710
You're gonna
be a citizen of Saturn.
57
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,610
Ah!
58
00:02:45,650 --> 00:02:47,050
I'm gonna fight this.
I don't care.
59
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,010
I'm gonna see
that I am vindicated.
60
00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:51,350
I believe
in our judicial system.
61
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,780
I'll bribe someone
if I have to.
62
00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:56,850
Does this scarf
make it work?
63
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,650
Oh, I like it.
64
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,110
Mom?
65
00:03:00,150 --> 00:03:02,350
I think it's great.
Very nice.
66
00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:04,550
Uh, say, Jen, I was thinking
maybe you and I could go over
67
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:06,950
to Darby Creek Park later,
shoot some baskets.
68
00:03:06,980 --> 00:03:08,380
Oh, no,
I can't today, dad.
69
00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:09,810
Chuck's coming over,
and I promised
70
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,510
we'd spend
the afternoon together.
71
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:13,050
Oh. Chuck.
72
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,110
Well, that's okay.
I understand.
73
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:18,580
Can I talk to you?
Chuck will be here any minute.
74
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:20,250
Oh, sure, honey.
Yeah, what is it?
75
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:24,480
Oh.
76
00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:25,510
I'm sorry.
77
00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:29,250
Mom, can you...?
78
00:03:32,410 --> 00:03:33,850
Thank you.
79
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,710
Uh, maybe, uh, tonight we'll
shoot some baskets. Or tomorrow!
80
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,480
Hey, you don't have
to let me know now!
81
00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,150
Think it over!
82
00:03:42,650 --> 00:03:44,580
Don't feel bad, honey.
She's been looking forward
83
00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:46,450
to being with Chuckie
all week.
84
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,750
I don't feel bad about it.
don't be silly.
85
00:03:47,780 --> 00:03:49,410
If she'd rather be with a boy
her own age
86
00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:51,510
than with her dad,
that's fine.
87
00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:53,650
Seems a little unnatural to me.
88
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:57,210
Just relax, Steven.
89
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:59,110
I'm relaxed.
90
00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:00,950
What were you two
whispering about?
91
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:02,350
Oh, nothing really.
92
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:04,250
Just, there are some times
a girl feels more comfortable
93
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,650
talking to her mom,
that's all.
94
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,010
What were you whispering
about? Please. Tell me.
95
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:09,410
I don't want to tell you.
96
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,410
Why not?
97
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,010
Because last time
this happened,
98
00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:13,650
you didn't react
normally.
99
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,810
Now I have to know.
Come on, tell me.
100
00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,810
I can't stand it.
Please, tell me.
101
00:04:18,850 --> 00:04:20,980
Okay.
102
00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:24,350
Today, Jennifer is wearing
a bra for the first time.
103
00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,950
Why do you tell me
these things?
104
00:04:29,110 --> 00:04:31,610
No, dad, listen to me.
I know policemen.
105
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,850
This guy was not gonna
give me that ticket.
106
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,880
I could feel it.
I could see it in his eyes.
107
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,010
I could see it
through his glasses.
108
00:04:39,050 --> 00:04:42,010
His thick, thick glasses.
109
00:04:42,050 --> 00:04:44,750
Then why did he stop you
in the first place?
110
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,980
He wanted
to get to know me.
111
00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,310
I don't know.
112
00:04:48,350 --> 00:04:50,180
I do know
that he believed me
113
00:04:50,210 --> 00:04:51,680
when I said I came
to a complete stop.
114
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,810
He believed me.
115
00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:56,880
Until Mallory said,
"Don't lie, Alex."
116
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:59,080
Oh, and, dad,
listen to this.
117
00:04:59,110 --> 00:05:00,980
When he took out
his notebook
118
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:03,480
to write me the ticket,
his pen...
119
00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:04,810
You're not gonna
believe this.
120
00:05:04,850 --> 00:05:06,880
His pen is dry.
121
00:05:06,910 --> 00:05:08,650
He can't write the ticket.
122
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:12,180
I mean, he's laughing.
He is gonna let me go.
123
00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,450
Mallory lent him her pen.
124
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:20,110
Then I helped him
spell your name right.
125
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,080
What have you
got there?
126
00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:33,080
Oh, some old father's day cards
from Jennifer,
127
00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:34,710
when I was still her father.
128
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:38,350
I just don't get it, Elyse.
129
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,850
Steven, really,
you know, you're acting like
130
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,510
this is the first time one
of our children has grown up.
131
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,250
Jen and I have always had
something special.
132
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,750
I mean, Mallory -
Mallory was shopping by herself
133
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,780
by the time she was
6 months old.
134
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,450
And Alex...
135
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:55,480
Well, you can only
get so close to Alex
136
00:05:55,510 --> 00:05:58,150
in a non-financial
relationship.
137
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,010
But...
138
00:06:01,050 --> 00:06:04,080
Jennifer...
139
00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,410
Jennifer
used to come to me.
140
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,510
I remember she used
to call you her buddy.
141
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:10,010
Yeah. I used to
call her my buddy.
142
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:12,150
I'd say, "Hi, buddy,"
and she'd say, "Hi, buddy.
143
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:15,850
Sometimes we'd get confused.
We wouldn't know who was who.
144
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:18,910
I'm being ridiculous,
aren't I?
145
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:20,450
No, you're not
being ridiculous.
146
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,850
You're being a daddy.
147
00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:23,850
Sometimes the two
are identical twins.
148
00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:28,480
Hi.
Oh, hey, guys.
149
00:06:28,510 --> 00:06:30,610
How was your walk?
It was very nice, dad.
150
00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:33,850
Sorry we're late. We, uh,
stopped and shot some baskets.
151
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,280
Really?
I hardly know this boy.
152
00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:38,650
How about a snack?
153
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,280
Oh, no, thanks, mom.
We're going upstairs.
154
00:06:40,310 --> 00:06:42,180
I want to show Chuckie
something.
155
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:44,050
Well, there's nothing
you can show him upstairs
156
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,880
that you can't
show him down here.
157
00:06:46,910 --> 00:06:49,750
I want to show him
the upstairs.
158
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,780
Wait, Jen. If going upstairs
makes your dad uptight,
159
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:53,380
what's the point?
Why put him through it?
160
00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:55,650
What would you like to do,
Mr. Keaton?
161
00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:00,450
Well, I don't know.
162
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,480
We could, uh,
set up the ping-pong table
163
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,280
downstairs
in the basement,
164
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:06,180
uh, play a couple of games.
Hey, that sounds good.
165
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:07,450
Well, listen.
166
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,210
Ping-pong's
really a two-person game,
167
00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:13,180
so, uh,
catch you later, Chuck.
168
00:07:13,210 --> 00:07:14,510
Dad!
169
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,910
Yeah.
170
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,710
I'll call you back on
the other phone, okay, Debbie?
171
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,140
Bye.
172
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:21,710
Hi, dad.
173
00:07:21,750 --> 00:07:24,150
Uh, Jen, could we, uh,
talk for a minute?
174
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:26,950
I've got to call Debbie
right back. It's crucial.
175
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,550
Maybe it could wait
for just a second.
176
00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,380
We, uh, we haven't really done
much talking lately.
177
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:35,240
I miss you.
178
00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:37,250
I miss you, too, dad.
179
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:44,450
Can I call
Debbie back now?
180
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,980
Come on, let's sit down.
sit down.
181
00:07:47,010 --> 00:07:48,450
Let's talk,
buddy to buddy.
182
00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,080
Okay.
183
00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:54,350
You know, you used to call me
buddy all the time.
184
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:55,910
You never call me
buddy anymore.
185
00:07:55,950 --> 00:07:58,780
Buddy is so babyish, dad.
186
00:07:58,810 --> 00:08:00,980
You didn't think that
when you were 3.
187
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,980
What are you reading there?
Seventeen.
188
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:09,080
Uh, you're only 13.
You shouldn't be reading that.
189
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,510
You shouldn't be reading that
for another four years, Jen.
190
00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:20,180
Well, let's see.
What have we got here? Ah.
191
00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:24,180
"Twelve ways to shape up
in time for the prom."
192
00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:27,110
Too late for me now, huh?
193
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,610
- Why don't you go and call Debbie back?
- I'll go and call Debbie back.
194
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,010
Hey, dad.
195
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,980
Where are you off to?
196
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,410
Going downtown.
197
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:42,150
Take some photographs
of the scene of the crime.
198
00:08:42,180 --> 00:08:44,150
Gonna need some visual evidence
so I'll have proof
199
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:47,210
of my innocence
for my day in court.
200
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,350
I like your thinking.
201
00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:52,480
You know, dad,
did I tell you that, uh,
202
00:08:52,510 --> 00:08:55,410
after that cop
gave me the ticket,
203
00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:59,850
Mallory gave him a donation
for the policeman's ball?
204
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:02,210
Try to forget
all that, Alex.
205
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,860
Put your faith
in the legal system.
206
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:07,550
She should be in jail, dad.
207
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,250
Mom, can you go with me
208
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,810
to the Sunflower girls
troop meeting
209
00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,410
after school on Thursday?
210
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,050
On Thursday?
Oh, honey, I can't.
211
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,510
I've got a meeting
at the office.
212
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:19,180
The Kramers want me to go over
the plans for their new house.
213
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,010
Can't you make that
for another day?
214
00:09:21,050 --> 00:09:22,810
Honey, I've already
canceled it twice.
215
00:09:22,850 --> 00:09:24,980
And if I don't get started
on their plans for their home,
216
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:27,210
they're gonna want
to move in here with us.
217
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,510
All right.
218
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,980
All right,
I'll reschedule it.
219
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:33,150
Thanks, mom.
220
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:42,280
Hm.
221
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,710
"Sunflower girls tea.
222
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,410
"Come one, come all.
Come join the fun.
223
00:09:47,450 --> 00:09:49,950
Tea. Talk. Treats."
224
00:09:51,610 --> 00:09:54,780
No, Steven. It's not for you.
It's for girls.
225
00:09:54,810 --> 00:09:58,180
Not so fast.
It says, "Come one, come all."
226
00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:03,080
Honey, I know how much
you want a shared experience
227
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,150
with Jennifer,
but this is not it.
228
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:06,410
You won't fit in.
229
00:10:06,450 --> 00:10:07,950
Oh, really?
Well, what do they do there?
230
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:09,880
What's so special
about the Sunflowers girls tea
231
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,910
that I can't be a part of it?
What goes on there, Elyse.
232
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:13,310
What do they do?
233
00:10:13,350 --> 00:10:15,250
They sing songs.
234
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,410
Are you implying
that I can't sing songs?
235
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:18,880
What songs?
What songs do they sing?
236
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,010
"I've got a mule,
and her name is Sal."
237
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,580
♪ I've got a mule,
And her name is Sal ♪
238
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,780
♪ 15 miles
on the Erie Canal ♪
239
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,950
What else do they do?
240
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:28,280
They talk about things.
241
00:10:28,310 --> 00:10:29,280
What kind of things?
242
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:30,710
Well, things, Steven.
243
00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:34,280
Uh, hobbies, school,
current events.
244
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:36,110
Things that go on
in their life.
245
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,350
Girls' talk!
246
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:40,310
And then they eat cookies.
247
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:41,980
Are you implying
that I can't...?
248
00:10:42,010 --> 00:10:44,410
Steven, it's a girls' club.
It's not for you.
249
00:10:44,450 --> 00:10:46,210
You'd be putting yourself
in a place
250
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,180
where you have no place.
251
00:10:48,210 --> 00:10:50,380
What place do I have
in her life now, Elyse?
252
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:52,450
I'm the invisible man!
253
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,810
At least
this gives me a shot.
254
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:56,180
This gives me an identity.
255
00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:58,780
I'm a Sunflower girl.
256
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:08,350
I don't want dad to take me.
I just don't want him to.
257
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:09,650
Come on, Jen.
Keep it down.
258
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:11,180
You don't want dad to hear,
do you?
259
00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:12,280
Maybe I do.
260
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:13,580
You've got to let him go, Jen.
261
00:11:13,610 --> 00:11:15,380
It's part of growing up female
in this house.
262
00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:17,680
He came to Sunflower girls
with you, too?
263
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,750
No. He came on a date
with me.
264
00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:23,150
I was, uh, 13 1/2,
265
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:26,410
and Brian Madigan
took me to the movies.
266
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:30,550
Brian sat on one side of me
and, well, dad sat on the other.
267
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:31,810
When Brian put his arm
around me,
268
00:11:31,850 --> 00:11:33,650
dad put his arm
around me, too,
269
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:37,550
and, uh...
well, they shook hands.
270
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:40,080
Good morning, everybody.
271
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,380
Except Mallory.
272
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:42,910
Where are you going?
273
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,380
I'm going down
to traffic court.
274
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,150
Good luck.
275
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,780
Wouldn't need luck
if it weren't for you, Mal.
276
00:11:48,810 --> 00:11:50,250
You would not be
going to court, Alex,
277
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,380
if you had just allowed me
to keep driving.
278
00:11:52,410 --> 00:11:54,450
Is that it, Mallory?
279
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,180
That is it.
That's it isn't it?
280
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:57,310
That's right.
281
00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:00,980
The reason that I wouldn't
let you drive anymore
282
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:06,110
is that my life was in sudden
and immediate peril.
283
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,250
I mean, you're driving,
284
00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,910
and people are leaping off
the street into the bushes.
285
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:18,080
You drive like
you're playing tag.
286
00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:21,650
Don't lie, Alex.
287
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:25,380
No.
288
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:28,010
No, violence
has no place here.
289
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,180
I put my faith
in our system of jurisprudence,
290
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:33,180
and it shall vindicate me.
291
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,410
I have photographs
of the intersection,
292
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:39,880
of the stop sign,
and I have photographs of you.
293
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,480
As well...
294
00:12:48,110 --> 00:12:50,680
...as a report card...
295
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:53,510
And a recent I.Q. test.
296
00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:01,210
I think the judge
will understand.
297
00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:05,250
No. He won't.
298
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,950
Because I'm gonna call him up
and tell him you're lying.
299
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:10,110
Mom!
300
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:11,180
Mom!
301
00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:12,380
Hey!
302
00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:13,750
I'm ready for the meeting,
buddy.
303
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:14,880
Great, dad.
304
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:18,480
And I've been practicing
the Sunflower salute.
305
00:13:18,510 --> 00:13:19,750
Dad, I told you...
306
00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:29,480
Dad, I told you,
we don't do that salute anymore.
307
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,650
It's in the handbook,
Jennifer.
308
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,680
We just shake hands now.
309
00:13:33,710 --> 00:13:34,710
Okay.
310
00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:36,880
Look, I'll be, uh,
311
00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:38,550
back downstairs
in about 15 minutes
312
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,850
to take you
to the meeting.
313
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,350
That's fine, dad,
but just don't do the...
314
00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:43,250
Sunflower goodbye?
315
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:52,950
I think dad
needs to be watered.
316
00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:56,350
I'm in big trouble here, Alex.
Help me out.
317
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:58,010
Well, I could tell you
what I'd do if I were you.
318
00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,350
What?
319
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,950
Well, dad wants to spend time
with you, right?
320
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,310
Right.
321
00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:06,010
And time is money, right?
322
00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:07,680
Right.
323
00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:09,310
So, if dad wants to
spend time with you
324
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:10,880
and time is money,
325
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:14,410
then he'll spend money
to be with you.
326
00:14:14,450 --> 00:14:15,750
See?
327
00:14:15,780 --> 00:14:18,150
So what you do
is you charge him by the hour.
328
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:21,750
Like, uh...
329
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:26,310
...five bucks
for a walk in the park,
330
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:29,380
eight bucks
for a game of basketball.
331
00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:31,310
Now, be a sport
and give him half off
332
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:34,210
on father's day.
333
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:37,680
That's a beautiful thought,
Alex,
334
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,310
but no, thanks.
335
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:40,950
Well, you can do
what you want, buddy.
336
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:42,950
I got to go down
to court.
337
00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:52,650
Girls:
♪ low bridge, everybody down
338
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,350
♪ low bridge
for we're comin' to a town ♪
339
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:57,150
♪ and you'll always know
your neighbor ♪
340
00:14:57,180 --> 00:14:58,550
♪ you'll always know your pal
341
00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:01,950
♪ if you've ever navigated
on the Erie Canal ♪
342
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:03,910
Woman: All right!
343
00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:10,910
Well, what do you say, dad?
Do you want to go now?
344
00:15:10,950 --> 00:15:13,110
We've been here
three minutes, Jennifer.
345
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:15,380
All right. That was
very nice singing, girls.
346
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:17,680
And now on to the new business.
347
00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,650
I would like to welcome
all the moms
348
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,010
and...the dad.
349
00:15:24,210 --> 00:15:25,950
Mr. Keaton, nice that
you could come, sir.
350
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,950
Thank you, Mrs. Carpenter.
I feel very much at home.
351
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,410
In fact, I'd like to, uh,
352
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,750
give you all
a warm Sunflower...
353
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:31,950
Dad!
354
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:36,280
Well, now it's time
355
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,510
for the roundtable.
356
00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:38,910
Oh, what's that?
357
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,150
Well, once a month, we discuss
some topic of interest
358
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:42,280
to the Sunflower girls.
359
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:45,210
Oh, great. I'm all ready.
Camping? Boating? Hiking?
360
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,810
Today we're gonna talk
about sex.
361
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:48,710
I'm your guy.
362
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,410
Did you say "sex"?
363
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,780
Mm-hmm.
364
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:54,110
Dad, maybe you should go.
Really.
365
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:57,080
Nonsense, Jennifer.
I'm a Sunflower dad.
366
00:15:57,110 --> 00:15:58,750
I think I can handle
367
00:15:58,780 --> 00:16:01,950
a mature discussion
about, uh, what she said.
368
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:06,080
Now, we're going
to discuss our bodies
369
00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,350
as they blossom
into womanhood,
370
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:12,380
and about boys and their bodies
as they burst into manhood.
371
00:16:17,980 --> 00:16:19,610
I know that some of you
have already gone out
372
00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:20,850
on dates with boys,
373
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,610
and I want to talk
about first experiences.
374
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,510
And I want the younger girls
to benefit from you older girls,
375
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,080
so we're gonna go
around the room,
376
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:30,450
starting with you, Shelley.
377
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:33,250
Well, on my first date,
378
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,780
I went out
with a guy in my class.
379
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,150
I'm not gonna
name names...
380
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:37,750
Was it Larry Parker?
381
00:16:37,780 --> 00:16:39,410
That's right.
382
00:16:41,850 --> 00:16:44,050
Anyway,
I went out with Larry,
383
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,850
and all he wanted
to do was fool around.
384
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,410
What do you mean
by "fool around?"
385
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:50,280
I mean, he wanted
to touch my body
386
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,180
as it blossomed
into womanhood.
387
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:01,580
Boys are only interested
in one thing - sex.
388
00:17:01,610 --> 00:17:03,510
Right, Mr. Keaton?
389
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:10,310
Well...well, uh...
What's your name?
390
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,310
Alice.
391
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:12,910
Well, Alice,
392
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:14,910
some boys are
very interested in sex.
393
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,150
Were you?
394
00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:19,250
Well, uh,
when I was a boy,
395
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,480
I was interested
in a lot of things.
396
00:17:21,510 --> 00:17:23,280
Was sex one of them?
397
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,180
Well, I was interested in, uh,
baseball, basketball, football.
398
00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:31,010
You're not answering
the question.
399
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,980
Get off my back,
will you?
400
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:39,250
I don't want to lie to you,
uh, Alice.
401
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:44,510
I admit,
there were some girls, uh...
402
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:46,480
That...
403
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:48,050
I remember
Marjorie McCracken.
404
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,750
Boy, she had a body
on her.
405
00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:55,850
Dad, I can't believe you're
talking about this stuff.
406
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,210
What can I do?
She was hounding me.
407
00:17:58,250 --> 00:17:59,680
Dad, you're really
embarrassing me.
408
00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:01,180
This is not the place
for you to be.
409
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,550
Why do you say that?
410
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:03,650
Look around you, dad!
411
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,850
Do you see anyone else
here who shaves?
412
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,850
Jennifer, I just want to spend
some time with you.
413
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,680
I'm sorry, dad,
but this isn't the right place.
414
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:12,880
If you don't leave,
I will.
415
00:18:27,310 --> 00:18:30,780
Would anyone like to know
how I did in court today?
416
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,480
Well, let's see.
Not good?
417
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,550
I won.
418
00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:42,380
The judge loved me.
419
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,780
Commended me
on my thoroughness,
420
00:18:44,810 --> 00:18:47,380
commiserated with me
about Mallory.
421
00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:52,750
He has a sister...
422
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,610
Not quite as aggravating,
but close.
423
00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,010
Anyway, I won.
Tore up the ticket.
424
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,810
That's not good news?
425
00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:04,410
When I went out to the car...
426
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:10,180
...I found a parking ticket.
427
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,050
When I went inside
to complain,
428
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,310
I got a jaywalking ticket.
429
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:24,480
Don't you just
love justice?
430
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,050
It's so fair.
431
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,510
Aah!
432
00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:30,750
Mom!
433
00:19:35,450 --> 00:19:37,980
It wasn't a good idea.
434
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,910
You tried to stop me,
but I wouldn't listen.
435
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,410
I was wrong.
Wrong again.
436
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,350
I'm always wrong.
437
00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:46,480
Want to tell me
what happened?
438
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,880
Maybe in
a couple of years.
439
00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:51,210
Oh...
440
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:52,550
It was really something.
441
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:57,950
I was talking about my sex life
to the Sunflower girls.
442
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,450
I'm sorry I missed that.
443
00:20:04,850 --> 00:20:06,110
Jennifer was
so embarrassed.
444
00:20:06,150 --> 00:20:08,650
She must think I'm the most
ridiculous excuse
445
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,680
for a father
in the world.
446
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,010
Oh. Do you know
what Mark Twain said?
447
00:20:13,050 --> 00:20:15,880
Was he a Sunflower dad?
448
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,110
No.
449
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,980
He said
that when he was 14,
450
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:22,680
his father
was so ignorant,
451
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,880
he couldn't stand
to have him around.
452
00:20:24,910 --> 00:20:26,810
But by the time
he turned 21,
453
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:28,750
he was astonished
at how much the old man
454
00:20:28,780 --> 00:20:30,720
had learned
in just seven years.
455
00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:31,980
Hmm.
456
00:20:33,610 --> 00:20:35,050
She'll come back to you,
Steven.
457
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,480
It may take seven years,
but she'll come back.
458
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:50,880
I heard it didn't
go so well.
459
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,780
Let's just say
that most of the Sunflower girls
460
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:54,450
are still in shock.
461
00:20:56,010 --> 00:20:57,780
Honey...
462
00:20:57,810 --> 00:21:01,880
He only went because
he cares so much about you.
463
00:21:01,910 --> 00:21:03,780
That's hard to believe.
464
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:05,950
Well, it's true.
465
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:09,310
And the day will come when
you'll look back on this fondly,
466
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,910
and...
and you'll realize
467
00:21:11,950 --> 00:21:14,180
what a wonderful father
you have.
468
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,180
I guess you don't want to see
the Sunflower salute, huh?
469
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:27,810
Not at the moment, no.
470
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,510
I made a mistake, Jen.
471
00:21:29,550 --> 00:21:32,680
I tried to force myself
in somewhere where I, uh...
472
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:34,880
I didn't belong.
473
00:21:34,910 --> 00:21:36,680
But I only did it
because I missed you.
474
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:38,380
I...
475
00:21:38,410 --> 00:21:40,680
I miss talking to you,
walking in the park with you,
476
00:21:40,710 --> 00:21:43,310
throwing the ball
back and forth.
477
00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:45,750
You mean, if I would have gone
to the park with you,
478
00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:47,080
none of this
would have happened?
479
00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,910
Well, it's not as simple
as that, Jen.
480
00:21:50,580 --> 00:21:52,880
You know, when you were born,
when I picked you up
481
00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:54,280
for the first time
and our eyes met,
482
00:21:54,310 --> 00:21:56,650
right then,
I signed on for life.
483
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,280
I knew that I would...
484
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:01,180
I would care for you,
protect you,
485
00:22:01,210 --> 00:22:03,080
teach you...
486
00:22:03,110 --> 00:22:04,610
Love you.
487
00:22:04,650 --> 00:22:06,710
And you've done
all those things.
488
00:22:06,750 --> 00:22:08,610
All of a sudden, it seemed
like you didn't need me anymore.
489
00:22:08,650 --> 00:22:11,150
You didn't want
to be with me.
490
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:13,210
Well, it hurt.
491
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:15,480
I didn't mean
to hurt you, dad.
492
00:22:15,510 --> 00:22:18,410
It's just that I've changed.
I can't help it.
493
00:22:19,550 --> 00:22:21,380
Look at me, dad.
494
00:22:21,410 --> 00:22:26,210
I'm 13 years old now.
I'm not a little girl anymore.
495
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:27,980
I know that.
I'm just trying to find ways
496
00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:30,080
that I can still
fit into your life.
497
00:22:30,110 --> 00:22:32,480
Well, it's not
as a Sunflower girl.
498
00:22:34,510 --> 00:22:37,210
I learned that
the hard way.
499
00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:39,210
Look, dad,
this is a hard time for me.
500
00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:44,080
So much is changing at school
and with my friends.
501
00:22:44,110 --> 00:22:46,910
It's just so hard
to keep up with everything.
502
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:50,550
Well, I only wish I was able
to help you through this.
503
00:22:50,580 --> 00:22:52,550
I think the easiest thing
for you to do
504
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:54,610
is to not push too hard.
505
00:22:54,650 --> 00:22:57,650
Not a little girl anymore.
506
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,250
I guess I'd better
get used to that, huh?
507
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,980
You've got no choice.
508
00:23:03,010 --> 00:23:06,050
I can't help it.
I just keep growing.
509
00:23:12,210 --> 00:23:14,350
I'm really gonna miss
the old times.
510
00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:16,650
It's not gonna be like
that anymore, huh?
511
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,250
Maybe it'll be better...
512
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,350
Buddy.
34178
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