Original subtitles

♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Okay, Andy.

Let's go over this again.

This is a gift catalog.

I'll turn the pages. That's right.

And you point to the things you like best.

He doesn't know what you're talking about, Mallory.

Jennifer, I mastered mail order by the time I was his age.

I remember. That's how we got our good china.

What's going on?

Oh, we're buying Andy a gift,

and he's pointing out the things he'd like to wear.

So far, he's picked out a bath mat and a wrench.

Just make sure he doesn't wear them together.

Good news, everybody.

You're looking at the newly elected chairman

of the Leland College Parent/ Student Weekend Committee.

Yes, sir.

I was singled out for this honor,

Unanimously chosen by my peers,

handpicked from a pool of over 50 qualified candidates.

They pulled his name out of a hat.

Congratulations.

We really excited for you.

Yeah, we'd like to hear all about it.

- Well... - Yeah.

Just what does the job involve?

Mom, I'm in charge of the entire event.

I have here a computer printout with the name and phone number

of every Leland student and parent.

For this one weekend,

I'm in complete control of their lives.

Well, that is frightening.

Oh, well, but it's nice.

We'll finally get a chance to meet Ellen's father.

Actually, I don't know if he'll be able to make it.

Oh, that's a shame.

Well, it's partially my fault.

I didn't invite him.

You didn't invite him?

Ellen, this is parents' weekend.

You're legally obligated to invite him.

Alex, there wouldn't have been any point in calling him.

He doesn't like these things, and he wouldn't have come.

I was just saving us both the trouble.

Um, Ellen, look, just let us know

if we can help you in any way.

Thanks.

- Okay. - Bye.

Well, I got to go. I got to get back and study.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, Ellen.

Uh, I can't really say I'm happy about this.

It's parents' weekend and your dad's not coming?

Alex, I told you, it's not his kind of thing.

Even when my mom was alive,

she always came to these things by herself.

Yeah, well, how do you know unless you call him?

Believe me, I know.

Just give him a call, will you?

No, Alex.

All right. All right.

You can use our phone.

Alex, that's it.

I'm not calling him. Get off it.

Ellen, I'm just worried about you being alone

for parent/student weekend.

I'll be okay.

Everybody else is gonna be having fun.

There's gonna be potato-sack races, an egg toss.

Who are you gonna toss your egg to?

It's not a major worry in my life.

You're gonna be lonely.

I'll be okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Well, what do you think?

Well, it's an awfully full schedule, honey.

10:00, parents' welcome.

10:15, written exam on that welcome.

That's right. They don't pass, they go home.

Alex, how come there are so many pictures of you

on this pamphlet?

The printer insisted.

Alex, all these events you've planned seem pretty boring.

Boring? Jennifer, look at the bottom of the page.

"Parent/student rodeo."

And?

"Parent/student wet t-shirt contest."

And?

"Parent/student full-contact kickboxing."

I don't know if we're in good enough shape for this weekend.

Well, you can start training

by helping me carry all this stuff out to the car.

All right, all right, you can carry it as far as the porch.

I'll take it from there.

Ellen.

Alex, I just got this message from my father.

It says he's coming here for parents' weekend.

It says that the chairman of parents' weekend invited him.

It says that the chairman called him personally

to ensure that he was coming.

Let me see that.

You had absolutely no right.

This is a personal matter, and you shouldn't have interfered.

I-i did not interfere in a personal matter.

It was... It was a very official call.

I said the same thing to your father

that I said to all the other parents I called.

Oh, really? You said to all the other parents,

"Ellen really wants you to come"?

Yes, I did.

And they're all coming

and they're very anxious to meet you.

Alex, I am very angry about this.

I don't want to see my father.

Well, Ellen, he wants to see you.

He said he was real excited about coming.

That's really strange.

What's so strange about it?

My father and I don't get along at all.

We've hardly said a word to each other in the last five years,

and when we do speak, it usually turns into a fight

within the first two minutes.

I guess I shouldn't have called him, then, huh?

The man has no respect for the way I live my life,

for the things that are important to me.

All he cares about is business, profits, making money.

I'm shocked.

He can be so unfeeling.

And the last time we spoke, he called me from his car phone

and put me on hold for 15 minutes.

C-car phone?

What, uh... What kind of car does he have?

It was probably the limo.

Limo.

He was on his way to the stables.

Okay.

Car phone, limo, stables.

I'm starting to get a warm glow inside.

This guy sounds rich.

This guy's your father.

Ellen, you're rich.

I love you.

Alex, calm down.

Whoa, whoa! I can't believe this.

I've fallen in love with a girl who I think has no money,

and she turns out to be rich.

My instincts are incredible.

Ellen, when do we get married?

Alex, he's rich, not me.

I don't want anything to do with his money.

Oh, I understand. I'll handle it.

Stop it!

Look, come on. You know I'm kidding.

Look, I'm... I'm sorry

that I got you into such a difficult situation.

Alex, I don't know how

I'm gonna get through this weekend with him.

Well, look, he... He's coming all this way, right?

And he did say he wanted to see you.

Give him a chance.

Okay.

Hi, Alex.

Hi.

Hey, what do you two have there?

Oh, we decided instead of getting Andy a gift

from a catalog, we're gonna make him a ski sweater.

I didn't know you two knew how to knit.

We don't, but Andy doesn't know how to ski.

Uh, excuse me. I'm Franklin Reed.

I'm looking for an Alex Keaton.

Well, I just happen to be one.

Please come in.

Uh, let me take your coat.

Ellen told me to meet her at her dorm room,

but, uh, she wasn't there,

so her roommate said I might find her here.

Yeah, well, I'm sure she'll be here any minute.

Uh, in the meantime, please, uh, sit down,

make yourself comfortable.

Thank you.

So, Ellen tells me you're rich.

Uh, that is... That is, uh,

richly deserving of many compliments.

So, you're Ellen's boyfriend.

Uh, yes, I am.

What are you?

Poet? Dancer?

Communist?

Ab-absolutely not, sir.

Uh, no, I'm against all those things.

Oh?

Well, that's refreshing.

I assumed you'd be another one of those

bohemian-punk-hippie-parasite types.

No, sir, no.

I stand before you as a representative

of all that is good and decent in this country.

And, I may add,

I'm very sympathetic to the upper classes.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise.

Thank you.

Uh, getting back to your wealth...

Ellen... Ellen, tells me you're a corporate lawyer.

That's right. We deal in...

Acquisitions, antitrust matters,

takeovers, statutory mergers.

Are you interested in the law?

Oh, yes, sir, as it pertains to money.

Alex, I think I like you.

Well, thank you, sir. I know I like you.

Uh, excuse me.

Alex, I don't know what happened to my father.

He never showed up.

He's here, Ellen.

Uh, she's here.

Ellen, where were you?

I've been waiting for you at the airport.

You said meet you at your dorm room.

Why would I say that?

Well, I don't know, Ellen, but that's what you said.

I did not say that.

I'm not making this up, Ellen.

You know, you two look alike.

Well, anyway, hello, dad.

It's nice to see you.

Hello.

Ellen, I have to admit it - I'm surprised.

Alex here impresses me.

He's a straight thinker,

he's got his priorities in line,

and he's not a communist.

I expected him to be another one of your modern-art boobs.

Dad, art happens to mean a lot to me,

although I know you don't appreciate it.

Alex, what do you think about this modern-art nonsense?

Me?

W-what do I think about this modern-art nonsense?

I love it.

Sometimes.

Ow.

Can I help you, Alex?

No. I'm... I'm fine.

Thank you very much.

What happened?

Uh, there was a little mishap

during the parent/student football game.

A-a little mishap?

I'll tell you what happened. Ow. I, uh...

I took a hand-off.

20-yard line, faked out a few parents

uh, drew Bob Lemkowski's mother into a block.

I had the whole field ahead of me.

I'm running along. All of a sudden,

I'm hit from behind by some crazy parent

with a bone-crunching illegal tackle.

Aah.

How many times do I have to apologize, Alex?

Alex, she didn't hit you that hard.

Oh, no? The football coach offered her a scholarship.

Oh, come off it, Alex. It was a clean hit.

Don't be such a mama's boy.

Let's go give Andy his sweater.

Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

Wait... Wait a minute, Mal.

Where'd you get this, the octopus shack?

It's not for you, Alex. It's for Andy.

This is not a one-person sweater, Mal.

I am aware of that.

I made it for him to wear with a friend.

You should have played, Ellen.

Dad, I told you, I'm not very good at football.

Yeah, well, maybe you can get some pointers

from Elyse "Hacksaw" Keaton.

Actually, Ellen is a great athlete.

Did you know that, Alex?

Oh, dad, please.

Oh, no, no, no.

Ellen was good at everything.

Swimming, ice skating,

baseball, horseback riding.

Do you ride, Alex?

Uh, me?

Uh, no. Used to. Used to.

Uh, had to give it up. Had a bit of a mishap.

I, uh, got thrown.

Actually, it was off a merry-go-round.

But, uh...

But the point is, I got right back on.

Well, Ellen didn't fall off much.

If she had kept riding, she could have been really good.

She could have made it to the Olympics.

But she stopped.

She didn't have that killer instinct

like your mother does, Alex.

Dad, all I wanted to do was ride a horse.

You were the one who wanted me to come home

with a ribbon or win a prize.

And what is wrong with winning,

with showing you're the best at what you do?

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with it.

I got to go.

I've got some things I got to get done back on campus.

Uh, do you want a lift back to your hotel?

All right.

Well, I guess I'll see you tonight at the big dance.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, looking forward to spending some more time with you, sir.

I'll save the last dance for you, Alex.

Well, this is a wonderful party.

I'm very impressed.

Alex has fine organizational qualities.

Oh, yes, yes.

We've been aware of it ever since he was in diapers

and he organized that parent/baby weekend.

Mm, it was a cruise.

Well, Alex is a fine boy.

You should be very proud of him.

We are, and you should be proud of Ellen, too.

She's a wonderful girl.

She's been a great influence on Alex.

Yeah, Alex is almost to the point

where he can say, "feminist" without laughing.

Feminist.

Did somebody say, "feminist"?

Dad, where have you been? I was waiting downstairs.

Ellen, you said we were gonna meet up here.

No, I said we'd wait downstairs in the lobby.

Well, the important thing is we're all together.

Excuse me.

May I have this dance? Thought you'd never ask.

Excuse us.

Would you like to dance?

Oh, no, thank you.

I don't really enjoy dancing.

Ellen, it's your major.

Well, you always thought dancing was a waste of time.

Well, maybe I changed my mind.

People do that, you know. Even fathers.

Whatever you say.

I don't really enjoy being treated like a stranger, Ellen.

Well, I'm sorry, but who are we kidding?

We are strangers.

I am not a stranger.

I am your father, and I deserve some respect.

Smile.

Look, dad, do we have to get into this?

I don't expect anything from you now.

I don't want you to try to apologize

or make up for lost time.

Just don't expect me to suddenly pretend

that everything is fine between us.

All my life...

You've either been ignoring me or criticizing me.

My grades were never good enough.

My friends weren't good enough.

Nothing I ever did was good enough for you.

And nothing i ever did was good enough for you.

You were always rebelling against everything.

If I said, "yes," you said, "no"

just for the hell of disagreeing with me.

Enjoying yourselves?

- Yes. - No.

Okay!

Do you know why I always disagreed with you?

No.

Do you have any idea

why I argued with you about everything,

Why I stopped competing in those horse shows,

Or why I ran away from home?

Because I wanted you to notice me.

I know I didn't spend enough time with you,

and I regret that.

But we can't change the past, Ellen.

I know I made mistakes with you,

but I want to make a new start.

But now I can make it on my own.

I have my artwork and I have my friends

and I have Alex, who is just the opposite of you.

He knows that there's more to life than making money.

I'm sorry, dad.

Some things just happen too late.

Honey, you can't blame yourself

for everything that happened tonight.

Come on, mom. I brought this all on myself.

I called Mr. Reed without asking Ellen.

I-I forced them to spend time together,

and as a result, I-i helped break up

an already shaky parent/child relationship.

And I lost a potential father-in-law.

Well, tomorrow's a new day.

If you want to talk, honey, we're here for you.

Okay?

Sorry it's been a rough night.

Yeah, thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

- Hi. - Hi.

How you feeling?

Okay, I guess.

Where's your dad?

He's on his way back to the airport.

Yeah.

Listen, Ellen, I'm sorry about all this.

I mean, if it wasn't for my calling your father

and pressuring you to see him,

none of this would have happened.

It would have happened eventually.

You just kind of sped the whole thing up.

It's because I couldn't accept it.

When you said you didn't want your father

to come up for parents' weekend,

I mean, it didn't seem right to me.

I couldn't believe it.

I mean, sure, I-i argue with my parents.

We have our share of fights, but that's all they are -

arguments and fights.

We have it out, they see where they were wrong...

...and it's over.

We never stop caring about each other.

Alex, what you have with your family is very special.

If I had lived here, I never would have run away.

Don't be so sure, Ellen.

I never told you this,

but I had a fight with my parents one time,

and I ran away.

Why? What happened?

Well, I was, uh... I was 6 years old.

It was 1972.

They voted for McGovern.

I couldn't stay.

So, I got all my important papers together,

tied my briefcase to the end of a stick,

and set out.

Where did you go?

I wanted to go to Washington,

you know, to, uh, live with the Nixons.

But I-i got as far as Skippy's house,

and after 10 minutes there, I was ready to come home.

Good.

I like happy endings.

I'm sorry about what happened this weekend.

I'm sorry for you.

I'm sorry for your dad.

I mean, I actually liked the guy.

I guess maybe deep down inside I like him, too.

I don't know. I feel like trying to reach out,

but we just don't know how.

Mr. Reed.

Hello, Alex.

Ellen.

I just came to say a proper goodbye.

We may not be seeing each other for a while.

I guess not.

And I-I wanted to give you this.

What is it?

It's a picture from tonight.

Despite the circumstances, I think it came out all right.

But I'm not smiling. I'm sort of smirking.

Sometimes you take what you can get.

Ellen, I know I'm not the easiest man in the world

to get along with...

But I'm trying.

You have to believe that. I really am trying.

I know it.

Ellen...

...I love you.

And I don't want to lose you.

Maybe we can try again.

I'd like that...very much.

Well...

Daddy...

...have a good trip back.

I will.

Goodbye, Alex.

Bye, Mr. Reed.

Well...

What do you want to do next weekend?