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♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪
♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪
♪ on the night we kissed
♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
♪ we can't love each other through ♪
♪ ooh-hoo
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ sha-la-la-la
Oh, hey, Jennifer.
What are you doing?
I have to do an oral report for Social Studies class.
- What about? - How a bill becomes a law.
Oh, all right. Uh...
Why don't you read me what you have so far?
Okay.
"How a bill becomes a law."
I like it a lot.
It's peppy and interesting.
It's zippy, yet informative.
Let me hear it again.
Oh, hey, Skippy!
How's the report going, Jen?
Oh, she's good, Mr. Keaton. Go ahead.
Read him what you just read me.
Dad, I need some help. Do you have a minute?
I can't now, Jen. Your mom and I have to take Andrew
to his play group. Maybe later?
Oh, Elyse! The Boswells are here!
All set.
Oh, Steven, try not to get into an argument
with these people again, okay?
Look, I don't start these arguments. They do.
They're so competitive about their son's accomplishments.
"Our Timmy can stand up."
"Our Timmy can talk."
"Our Timmy can read."
I can do most of those things.
You guys ready? We're waiting.
Oh, hi, Ralph.
Yeah. We're all set.
You see Timmy there in the car?
Oh, yeah. Isn't he cute?
He drove us here.
Goodbye, honey. Be back in a couple of hours.
Bye, Skip.
Hi, Jen.
Hi. Oh.
Mallory, Alex isn't home right now.
Can you help me with my Social Studies project?
Oh, I can't, Jen. I'm late as it is for work.
I got to go upstairs and change my clothes.
Uh, Mallory? Do you need any help?
Okay. Yes, Skippy.
I'd like you to come upstairs
and help me change my clothes.
He'll be back.
Alex, you're home!
Thanks, Jen.
For a second there I didn't know where I was.
Alex, I have to do an oral report
for Social Studies class on Wednesday.
I really, really need your help.
I appeal to you, as my brother,
to act out of compassion and love,
to reach out to your younger sister
and help her in her hour of need.
What's in it for me?
Alex, please. I'm desperate.
Jennifer, I don't get it.
I mean, you get good grades.
You're good in school.
How come you're so desperate for my help all of a sudden?
I saw some projects the other kids were working on.
They were really good.
I want mine to be just as good.
I want mine to be better. I want mine to be the best.
Well, Jennifer,
I respect your goals of conquest and domination.
I'd like to think I inspired them.
But if I help you with this,
we're gonna do it my way, start to finish,
every step, my way. You got it?
Got it.
All right. What's your topic?
How a bill becomes a law.
And what are you using for your resource material?
This.
What is this, a seventh-grade textbook?
Yes. I'm in seventh grade, and that's my textbook.
Well, if you want me to be involved with this,
you're gonna have to abandon this childish,
simplistic approach to the subject.
But that's the book we use.
That's the book they use.
And they'll do their little oral reports,
and they'll get their little grades,
and they'll live their little lives.
But you want to know something, Keaton?
You're better than they are.
And we're going to the library,
and we're gonna prove it.
Now, you want to prove it, don't you?
- I do... - I can't hear you.
I do!
Alex, how much more of this stuff do I have to read?
Let's see.
You still have, uh...
Ah, Martin Carruthers' "Inside the U.S. Legislature."
Uh, Beatrice P. Duvall's
"Lawmaking in Western Society,"
And... Ooh, ooh...
Bunson and Sheitz's
"Jurisprudence in the Common Law."
Tonight?
Want to know something, Jen?
I like the way this is shaping up.
You play your cards right, I think you've got a shot
at the Thomas Dewey Award this year.
Are you crazy, Alex?
I don't have a chance to win that.
The Dewey Award goes out
to the best academic presentation of the year.
They always give it to some Pesky, Dorky, genius type.
I won it three years in a row.
Jen, are you still up? Honey, it's after 10:00.
You're working awfully hard, honey.
Hey, Jen, I got some time now.
If you want, I can help you with that thing of yours.
Um...
"How a bill grows up"?
Mallory, I'm helping her.
For Jennifer to go from my help to your help
would require a decompression chamber.
Jennifer, it's great
that you're motivated to work this hard.
Oh, well, you know me, dad.
I can't get enough of this stuff.
You know, Elyse, I'm beginning to wonder
if we've been too easy on Andrew.
What do you mean?
Well, you know, little Timmy Boswell
is the same age as Andrew,
And he does seem more advanced.
Did you see him at that play group today?
Yeah, I did. If you want my opinion,
his parents are pushing him too hard.
He should have been playing with Andy
and the other 1-year-olds at blocks.
Why? What was little Timmy doing?
Playing backgammon.
He wasn't really playing, Steven.
He beat me two out of three games.
Good night, sweetheart. Try not to stay up too late, okay?
Don't worry, mom. I'll make sure she gets to bed nice and early.
- All right. - Okay? Nighty-night.
Good night.
Hey.
...and so the electoral college meets in December
and casts its 538 votes.
And that's how our president is elected.
Thank you, Brenda. Very nice.
We have time for one more report this morning.
Jennifer, you ready?
Uh, yes, ma'am.
But it'll take me a couple minutes to set up.
Very well. We'll take a short break.
Class, you may talk quietly among yourselves.
It's about time that Brenda finished.
I thought she'd babble forever.
She's a good friend of mine, Alex.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'll blow her out of the water.
Mrs. Pedroza,
I'd like you to meet my brother Alex.
He gave me a ride today.
Oh, how nice.
Uh, Alex, did you help Jennifer with her presentation?
Uh, me?
Uh...uh, no. No.
Uh, no, I don't... I don't know nothing
about this government mumbo-jumbo.
I just, uh...
You know, I just carry the stuff Jennifer tells me to.
Alex, I'm nervous.
Listen, you'll be all right.
Just speak clearly and don't rush your presentation.
These simpletons are lucky to be here for it.
Great.
Can you stay and watch, Alex?
Oh, gee, I guess so.
I don't have to be back at the quarry for an hour.
Class, we're ready to begin again.
Jennifer will enlighten us on how a bill becomes a law.
Jennifer?
Uh, friends, classmates, citizens,
lend me your ears.
If the revised bill is approved
by both the House and the Senate,
it is sent to the enrolling clerk
to be printed on parchment.
It is this enrolled bill
that is signed by the speaker of the House
and the president of the Senate.
Then the document is transported up Pennsylvania Avenue
to the White House,
home of the president of the United States.
The president has 10 days,
not counting Sundays,
to sign or veto the bill.
If he signs it, the bill becomes a law.
If he vetoes it...
it takes a 2/3 vote
of both houses of Congress to override his veto.
Let me assure you, this rarely happens.
We have reached the end of our long journey.
Once the president signs our bill,
it becomes law of the land,
a shining example of democracy,
a beacon to freedom-loving people everywhere!
Thank you.
...and the music built to a crescendo,
and there she was, draped in the stars and stripes,
radiant in the spotlight.
I'm telling you, it was spectacular.
Kids were crying in their lunchboxes.
Alex is exaggerating a little.
Ah, Jen, you're just a chip off the old block.
You know, you're right.
When I was about 12,
I had to do this cookie-bake demonstration
for the Girl Scouts Jamboree,
and there were about 20 people there.
- And I had to make up. - Uh, dear...
When I said she was a chip off the old block,
that's not exactly what I was referring to.
Actually, I was thinking of the time
when I was 12 and, uh,
I gave a speech at the annual potluck dinner
of the young bowlers of America.
Oh, please, go on.
Allow me to say I bowled them over.
That's a wonderful story, dear.
I'll get it.
Jen, that is great that you impressed Mrs. Pedroza.
She's tough. I had her in seventh grade.
She didn't like my history presentation at all.
What was it?
It was a revolutionary war.
They wore red coats,
We dressed casually.
See what happens when people don't come to me for help?
Well, I knew you could pull it off, kiddo.
You were fabulous.
I'm glad it's over.
I was really scared.
I was up there saying a bunch of words.
I had no idea what they meant.
So?
Mallory does that every day of her life!
Someone here to see you, Jen.
Mrs. Pedroza.
Hello, Jennifer.
Hi, uh, you remember my brother Alex.
Of course. How are things at the quarry?
Uh, busy, busy.
We're having a sale.
You want to buy a couple tons of granite?
Ah-ha! Ha.
Mrs. Pedroza has something very exciting to tell you.
Jennifer, I was so impressed with your presentation
that I would like for you to be one of the contestants
for the Thomas Dewey Award this Friday.
Me?
And you deserve it. Will you be there?
Well, uh, my parents don't like me to stay up late.
We'd be happy to make an exception in this case.
- Swell. - Well, that's wonderful.
It should be quite a night.
Well, please sit down, Mrs. Pedroza.
No, no, I've got to run. I just wanted to come by
and congratulate Jennifer in person, give her the news.
Oh, it was nice of you to come.
Did you understand...
...what I told your sister?
She is doing very well.
Ah.
Come on, Mrs. Pedroza, we'll walk you to your car.
Way to go, Jen! You're up for the Dewey!
It's about time another Keaton's name was engraved in gold.
We had a long dry spell there during the Mallory years.
I don't think I can go through with it, Alex.
I'm gonna go tell Mrs. Pedroza that you helped me,
and I don't deserve to get this Dewey Award.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
That's not a Keaton talking, Jennifer.
A Keaton never backs down from a challenge.
Now, I know you're afraid, but don't worry.
I'm gonna be by your side every step of the way.
That's what I'm afraid of, Alex.
In 1982, a group of British scientists
fabricated a piece of genetic material
that was 514 paired nucleotides in length.
Can you believe that guy, Alex?
- I can't do that. - Hey.
You're never gonna win with that attitude, Jennifer.
Alex, you've loaded me down with so much information
I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.
All right, look, just, uh, relax, okay?
When you get up there, it'll all come back to you.
Now, immune or gamma interferon completes this list.
- That was excellent, Walter. - Thank you.
Our next contestant
for this year's Thomas Dewey Award
is Jennifer Keaton,
who will discuss how a bill becomes a law.
Jennifer?
Smile, honey, here come the Boswells.
Oh, Ralph. Betty.
Excuse me.
- So glad you could make it. - Uh-huh.
Sorry we're late.
Have trouble getting a sitter?
No!
Truth is, sitters flock to our door.
They all love taking care of Timmy.
Who wouldn't?
Tonight Timmy sang for the first time.
"Aida."
Ladies and gentlemen.
Friends, parents, citizens,
lend me your ears.
My subject tonight - How a bill, uh, grows up.
I mean, how a bill becomes a law.
I guess I'm just a little nervous right now.
Anyway, um, it's a very interesting process,
and I wish I could tell you about it, but I can't.
I've got to go right now.
Thank you. You've been a great audience. Bye.
Hey, hey, hey. What are you doing?
What are you doing? Get back there!
I can't, Alex. I don't know what I'm saying.
Show them the Capitol building.
I worked for 18 hours painting that thing.
Excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen, before I go,
I thought you'd like to see the Capitol building.
Pass it around, but please, no smoking inside of it.
Jennifer, that's not what we planned for you to say.
I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
Have them ask you some questions.
You can handle that.
Questions.
Are there any questions on how a bill becomes a law?
Any questions at all?
- Miss Keaton. - Yes, sir.
Ralph Boswell, attorney at law.
I'd like to ask a two-part question
concerning the Supreme Court ruling
in Marbury vs. Madison in 1803.
- Objection. - Overruled.
Did you agree with chief justice Marshall's assertion
of judicial review over acts of Congress?
And secondly,
do you think this ruling had a chilling effect
on legislative process during the Jeffersonian era?
Uh...
I-i, uh, I don't...
I'd like to field that question...
...if I might.
Uh, I think at that point in U.S. history,
it was important for the High Court to assert its parity
with the other branches of government,
vis-a-vis the process of judicial review.
Uh, or at least, uh,
I think that's what I thought I heard
Jennifer saying around the house the other day.
Excuse me, but you didn't really answer my husband's question
about Marbury vs. Madison.
Will you sit down?
Jennifer, are you okay?
No, I'm not okay.
I don't know what I'm doing here!
I'm sorry, Alex. I let you down.
What were you thinking about, Alex?
How did you expect Jennifer to learn all this?
I just wanted her presentation
to be the best that it could be.
What could possibly be wrong with that?
Alex, this isn't material for a 13-year-old.
This is something only an adult could understand.
What does this mean?
Naturally, I'm assuming a working knowledge of Latin.
Jennifer, why'd you let him do so much?
I mean, you're awfully good in Social Studies.
You guys are always helping Jennifer with her homework.
I thought this was the same thing.
It's not the same thing. We're not that much help.
Look, Jennifer, next time you need help,
just come to me.
I won't make you read any books.
We'll just go to a movie.
Look, Jen...
Alex, I don't want to talk to you ever again.
Can I just talk to Jennifer alone for a second?
I mean, I just need 10 minutes,
And I think we can straighten this thing out.
Well, that sounds reasonable.
Okay, you've got 10 minutes to work it all out,
but no hitting.
I'd never do that, mom.
I was talking to Jennifer.
Look, I'm sorry, Jen.
I didn't mean to - to push you as hard as I did.
But you knew what you were getting into
when you came to me for help.
You know that I can only do things one way.
Out of control.
I just don't understand why you didn't try and stop me.
I mean, if you were so uncomfortable,
why did you let me do it?
Because it wasn't just so easy to let your point away, Alex.
You had so much energy, it was like you were glowing.
I was.
I get really fired up when it comes to you, Jennifer.
You're my sister. I want you to do well.
I want you to excel. I want you to be all you can be,
to go the extra mile.
Alex, you're starting to glow again.
Get away from me.
Sorry.
I have to admit,
there is a part of me that liked it.
The attention, the applause, being the best.
You and I are a lot alike.
You know that, Jennifer.
Alex, please, I'm depressed enough.
What you have is special.
What I have is special.
What Mallory has is scary.
Alex, I'm not like you.
Yeah, you are, Jen.
I mean, don't... Don't try and deny it.
I'll never forget the first time that I noticed it.
You know, you were about, uh, 4 years old,
And, uh, you were playing in the sandbox
with little Brucey Dugan.
And you were trying to see
who could build the biggest sandcastle.
And, uh, Brucey built one that was, uh,
6 feet high and 5 feet wide,
and yours looked like servants' quarters to his castle.
And, uh... You knew you were beat.
And you got this look on your face,
and you walked up to Brucey and you said,
"hey, Brucey, look, the ice cream man."
Brucey turned around and...
You crushed his castle into the dust.
And I remember thinking to myself,
"she is good.
She is real good."
Alex, I apologized to Brucey later.
All right, so you weren't perfect.
Look, Jennifer, we are different than other people.
We...
You know, it's not easy for us, living with mom and dad.
You know, there's this blanket of niceness and decency that...
...hangs over this house like a black cloud.
And it's up to us to stick together and rise above it.
Alex, I'm really not like that.
And you want to know something? You're not like that, either.
What do you mean?
I saw you go back later and buy Brucey some ice cream.
Small cone.
Don't try to kid me, Alex.
Underneath that huffing and puffing,
you've got a big heart and you know it.
Jennifer, will you... Will you keep quiet?
I don't want that stuff getting out.
Look, all I'm asking...
is that you never sell yourself short.
You know, you have the potential to be anything you want to be.
Promise me you'll try.
I promise.
Come on. I'll buy you an ice cream.
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