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♪ I bet we've been together for a million years ♪
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more ♪
♪ oh, it's like I started breathing ♪
♪ on the night we kissed
♪ and I can't remember what I ever did before ♪
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
♪ we can't love each other through ♪
♪ ooh-hoo
♪ what would we do, baby
♪ without us?
♪ sha-la-la-la
- Mom, can I talk to you? - In a minute, honey.
I gotta finish my résumé, and then I'm off to the interview.
Uh, why don't you talk to your father?
He can't help me. It's about boys.
Yeah, how would I know about them?
You know my philosophy, Mallory.
If a boy makes you start asking questions,
cut him loose.
Hey, how's the résumé coming, mom?
Finished. I fudged a little bit, but basically it's me.
Did you, uh,
- put in those things I told you? - Some.
I left out the part about me designing the Eiffel Tower.
Come on, ma, they never check that stuff.
Yeah, well, I hope not.
I did take some of your advice, and I put all my attributes
on page one, right at the top and the center.
And then I hid the fact
that I haven't worked in an office for 12 years
on page two, under the staple.
I also changed 12 years to 144 months.
I don't know why I'm going on this interview anyway.
They probably don't want me.
They probably want someone more up to date,
someone younger.
Elyse, grandma Moses didn't start painting
until she was 80.
Yeah.
That still gives you a couple years.
Just trying to relax you.
Mom, all you've been talking about the past two weeks
is how much you want this job.
Yeah. I thought you wanted to expand your horizons.
I thought you wanted more challenging work.
I thought you wanted to make more money.
I do want all those things, but I'm scared.
You've got first-day jitters, mom.
I get the same thing every fall when I go back to school.
Really?
I worry about my new teacher,
my new classroom, new kids... everything.
But the first day always works out for me.
And it will for you, too.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Of course, sometimes I throw up around lunchtime.
Wha... what are you worrying about?
You're a terrific catch for any architectural firm.
You know what you're doing, you're experienced,
you're reliable.
Yeah, mom, let's go over
your assets and your liabilities.
Can't we just go over my assets?
May I?
Okay. Elyse Keaton.
Now, that's a nice name. That should count as an asset.
Oh, it's a fine name, mom, but, uh, let's face it.
It's not gonna get you the job.
Your, uh, references seem to be in order.
Alex, enough.
We don't have to add up your assets and liabilities.
When they meet you and read this résumé,
they're gonna be very impressed.
Thank you. You've all been very supportive.
I don't want to be late. Any last-minute advice?
Ask about vacation.
Find out if there's a gum ball machine.
Be yourself.
Don't tell 'em you're a woman.
Sorry. I-I'm... I'm waiting here for Karen Banks.
You're lookin' at her.
Just kidding. Actually, I'm Karen Dugan.
Kidding again.
Bill Channing.
Really?
Would I kid you?
Elyse Keaton.
So you're here for the new job, huh?
Uh-huh.
I'm an architect myself.
You are?
You are.
Elyse, I'm Karen Banks.
Oh, hi.
No kidding. She is.
I'm sorry we have to meet here in Bill's office.
The conference room is tied up.
Bill, I would like to conduct an interview in here.
Okay, I got a couple extra minutes.
What would you like to know?
I would like to know when you're leaving.
Out of here.
Bye.
He is actually a very fine architect.
I could tell.
May I see your résumé, please?
Ah, yes. Uh, I have nothing to hide.
Well, I see you haven't worked in an office for 12 years.
Has it been that long?
It didn't seem more than 144 months.
A-anything else that needs clarification?
Everything seems to be in order.
Ah, no one really checks up on those résumés anyway, huh?
We do.
Tell me why you would like to take a full-time job again.
Well, uh, I, um...
I am an architect.
And...
now that my, uh, kids can take care of themselves,
I-I thought I'd go back to, uh, to work,
uh, for what I'm trained to do, in a...
- In a more meaningful way. - I see.
Uh, but more than anything, I'm tired of working
out of my kitchen.
Do you know how hard it is working when...
When you know that you're just inches away from fudge brownies?
Well, you won't have that problem here.
There's one question I've been asking all the applicants.
Yeah.
What do you feel should be
the role of the architect in the 1980s?
And what did they say?
I think, uh...
I-I think we should take advantage of the new technology,
but, uh, to build and not destroy.
Uh, take for example the old Morgan House.
It was beautiful.
200 years old, and they tore it down
and put up a parking lot.
Now, that's the kind of thing that makes me crazy.
That was one of our jobs.
Are you sure this dress is gonna be ready
- for Chrissy's party? - Positive.
- It's a very simple pattern. - You'll see, Jennifer.
I'm gonna pick up this sewing stuff really quickly.
Uh, remember, Mallory,
the thread goes through the needle.
You'll be surprised, Alex.
I know how important it is for a woman to learn how to sew.
Mallory, you're a real woman of the '80s.
Thanks.
So how did the interview go?
Hi.
Not very well. She didn't like me.
She was very, very cold.
Now, it's not that I expected a big banner saying,
"welcome back to architecture, Elyse Keaton."
But I thought, well, at least, you know, a cake.
I'm sure you made a good first impression, Elyse.
You always do.
From the moment I laid eyes on you,
I knew you were the only architect for me.
Maybe I'm better off if I don't get the job.
I mean, what do I need a job for?
T-the commuting, having a boss.
I mean, I-I'm doing okay working here at home.
I know exactly what you mean, mom.
I mean, I could take geometry next semester.
There's a chance I could handle it,
but then there's a chance I couldn't handle it.
So why bother, right?
I-I don't think it's the same thing, Mallory.
Elyse, it's okay to admit you're scared about a new job.
I'm not scared.
Don't answer that!
M-maybe I'm a little scared.
Hello.
Yes, she is. One moment, please.
Mom.
Hello?
Hi. Yes. Speaking.
Hi, Karen.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Well, thanks for letting me know.
I'm sorry.
I got the job!
Oh!
They liked the fact that... that I was older.
And that I-i had more experience,
and they appreciated my honesty at the interview.
Go figure.
- Hi, Bill. - Oh, hi, roomie.
Hey, congratulations on getting the job.
- Thanks. - Whoa. That's my table.
Uh, where's mine?
Right here.
Just breaking it in for you.
Well, nice to see you. How's everything?
Actually, I'm having kind of a rough week.
I can't get my girlfriend
to give me her new phone number.
Oh, why don't you just look it up in the book?
You know her last name?
Enough about me.
You know, I think you're really gonna like it here.
Why don't you let me introduce you to the machines.
Yo, machines, come on over here and meet Elyse.
All right, have it your own way.
We've got the Runnymede 1800K word processor,
the Merriwell CAD system.
Boy, these machines are unbelievable.
Yes, they are.
Well, Elyse, I see you're making yourself at home. -Yes.
We were just talking about the machines. -Ah.
I assume you're familiar with
the Merriwell computer-aided design and drafting system.
Well, I-I've never actually used the Merriwell, but, uh,
how different can it be from any other appliance?
Right.
Well, it could be helpful
with the Manhattan Corporation project.
We're bidding on a combination office building/health club.
Bill is designing the office building part of the project.
- You'll be working on the health club. - Oh, sounds exciting.
We have tentatively scheduled
a presentation with Mr. Halifax...
He's head of Manhattan... For two weeks from tomorrow.
Two weeks?
Isn't that enough time?
I-it's more than enough.
Okay. Good. Here you go.
Site plan. Budget. Specifications. Good luck.
Thank you. Thanks for everything.
So let's get to know each other.
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Family? Kids?
- I... but i... - I don't have any myself.
Though I was married once.
Well, twice if you count my cousin.
So, what kind of stuff you been working on lately?
Oh, well, the last thing...
You know, for my senior project,
I worked on an entire city of the future.
Large enough for a half a million people.
It was quite a challenge.
Maximizing geometric aesthetics
while maintaining a restrained functionalism.
What did you say you did last?
I-I just finished a remodel on the Wilsons' ranch house.
We... we totally redid the kitchen,
which involved putting up a new beam to support the roof.
Wow.
A beam.
So, guess you're pretty anxious
to get your hands on those little babies, huh?
No, I-i can wait my turn.
Bill, I need to go over these design plans with you.
There is nothing here that I wanted.
It's the opposite of what we discussed.
She wants me.
Can't be much different than a typewriter.
"The quick brown fox."
Oh.
Bing.
Uh-oh.
Uh, stop.
Stop! Stop!
Stop!
Elyse, I can't believe you're still working.
Why don't you take a break?
The presentation is tomorrow.
I'll take a break the day after.
What do you think?
It's very flattering.
Have you alerted Women's Wear Daily?
Mom, you've got to show Mallory
how to do the other sleeve.
Honey, I'm sorry. I forgot we were sewing tonight.
I think I did a pretty good job. Don't you?
She'll grow into it.
I won't grow into it by Saturday.
Mom, I need to wear it for Chrissy's party.
Honey, I'm sorry. I can't help you tonight.
That's what you've said for the past five nights.
Okay, look, I'll tell you what.
A-after you kids go to bed, I'll finish it.
But the whole idea was for me to learn how to do it.
Well, honey, you can't have everything.
I am doing the best I can!
Girls, girls, your mother's really busy.
I think we should let her work, huh?
Well, if you're too busy for us...
Mom, I sympathize with what you're going through.
I mean, today's woman is in a very difficult position.
Tradition and certainly biology have put her in the home.
Now there are these ridiculous new feminist pressures
for her to do things outside the home,
like developing a career.
Your anxiety is natural, mom.
You can't fool with mother nature.
Say good night, Alex.
Good night, Alex.
Elyse, um...
I've done a lot of presentations.
Sometimes a little joke can get you off on the right foot.
Maybe, uh... Maybe something like this...
Um...
A guy and his, uh, dog go into a bar.
Steven, that's ridiculous.
I-I'm just trying to help.
A-aren't you supposed to come up with just one design,
just one health club?
Thank you, Steven. I think I know what I'm doing.
Look, once I've laid out all the options,
I-I'm going to synthesize them
into a single, coherent proposal.
Elyse...
I can handle it! I can handle it!
Look, Elyse, it's after 10:00.
You promised to sew Jennifer's dress.
You're gonna be up all night.
You're obviously overworked.
Now, why don't you talk to Karen about that?
I can't!
I can't... I can't let her know I'm having problems already.
But you are.
You're pretending you know how to use the computer.
You're working at a pace that's much faster
than what you're used to.
You're not used to their system there,
and you're afraid to ask questions.
Why don't you just say I'm failing on the job?
All... all I'm saying is that maybe you should ask
for a little help at work.
Yeah, well, I could use a little help around here, too.
Well, I'll be glad to help.
That is exactly what I don't want!
What are you talking about?
You know what I'm talking about.
For the past two weeks,
you've been doing more cooking than usual.
You've been spending more time with the kids.
You have been sweeter, kinder, more understanding
than you have ever been in your life, and I am sick of it!
I am trying to be supportive.
I'm trying to help.
Well, Steven, all sorts of women
have families and full-time jobs without your help.
That's because I'm not married to them.
But you're telling me you'd like it if you were?
Look, Elyse...
I know you're under a lot of pressure right now.
Evidently you've got to let off a little steam,
so go ahead.
Nothing you can say will make me mad.
And you call yourself supportive!
So in conclusion, Mr. Halifax,
my goal here was to design an office
that was more impressive than the offices of the heads
of General Motors, IBM, AT&T,
for, in my opinion,
you are a more impressive executive than any of those men.
I understand.
Well, that's the, uh, that's the office in a nutshell.
Uh, it was a pleasure to design.
And if I may be so bold as to say,
you were an inspiration.
Thank you.
Thank you, Bill. That was very good.
Uh, what do you think, Mr. Halifax?
It's not what I had in mind at all.
I didn't think so,
and that's why I'd be more than willing to work on this
until I get it exactly right.
It's not what I had in mind, but I thought it was brilliant.
Well, you have a keen eye.
Sure you never studied architecture yourself?
Positive. Never been to college.
Self-made man.
I didn't want to go to college either.
My parents made me.
Well, Mr. Halifax, I'm glad you're so pleased
with the office building.
Now Elyse will show us
what the health club's going to be like.
Warmed him up for you, Elyse. Go get him.
I'm real excited about this project, Mr. Halifax,
as I'm sure you are, too.
Before I start the presentation,
I'm reminded of a little story.
This man and his dog go into a bar...
Elyse.
Oh, don't stop her. This sounds good.
What kind of a dog was it?
Bill. Elyse, please continue.
And the bartender says, "hey..."
Elyse.
The presentation.
Okay. Um, here is the one-story plan.
Here is the multi-story plan.
And here we have a special one...
The underground gymnasium plan.
Now, uh, within each plan there are several subplans,
and we can go over the aspects of each,
and you can decide which you like best.
You're being cute, right?
You really just have one proposal.
I mean, you did design a health club, didn't you?
I really didn't get a chance to narrow it down
to just one.
Believe me... I wanted to,
but I ran out of time last night.
Had to make all those lunches before I went to bed,
then I lost the sleeve on Jennifer's dress.
Let's start with the underground gymnasium plan.
Now, that will give you the best of all possible worlds.
And who deserves that more than you, huh, Mr. H?
Karen, I'm a busy man.
I don't have time to look through all these things.
Now, I'm paying this architectural firm
to design my building.
If I wanted to design it myself, I would have done so.
And I bet you'd have done a heck of a job, Mr. H.
I have an idea.
Why don't you put some of these plans on the computer,
and we can see which you like best.
Right. The computer.
Well, why don't I just draw it up on pencil and paper.
The computer's so impersonal.
That's why I like it. Let's go.
Uh, well...
Forget it. I-i can't use the computer.
Why not?
I-I simply don't know how to use the machine.
I've been faking it.
Karen, what's going on here?
Is this some kind of affirmative-action thing?
Did you have to hire that person?
Now, see here, Mr. Halifax...
What is it?
See here...
I didn't hear you that well.
See?
Mr. Halifax, I-i apologize for wasting your time.
Karen, I'm... I'm... I'm sorry. I'm tired of pretending.
Pretending that I know everything
about architecture today.
Pretending that... That having a job and...
And three kids is a piece of cake.
The... the truth of the matter is it's...
It's hard to design a building under this kind of pressure.
It's... it's hard using machines
you've never even heard of before!
And it is damn hard coming back to work
after all these years.
Well, that seemed to go pretty well.
Oh, Steven, I made such a fool out of myself.
What ever made me think I could handle a job like that?
Elyse, just because this one presentation didn't work out
doesn't mean you're not qualified for the job.
How did the joke go over?
Did you go...
Like I told you?
Uh, yeah.
Oh, uh, Steven, I-it's Karen and Bill
- from the office. - Oh, of course.
Come on in.
Hi, Steven. Boy, I've heard a lot about you, big guy.
I think you'll beat that morals charge.
Elyse, ¿qué pasa?
Oh, left your purse at the office.
Thank you.
You got a lot of interesting things in there.
Uh, I'm sure the three of you
have a lot to talk about.
You're out of here.
You have a way with words, Bill.
Come and sit down.
Elyse, why didn't you just tell me you were having problems?
We all have problems at work,
and we all ask each other for help.
I-I guess I wanted you to think I could do the job.
Well, that's exactly what I do think.
Elyse, you have years of experience.
You're practical, and yet you're one of the most creative people
I've ever met.
Thank you.
I-I am really embarrassed.
I-I've been trying to do everything,
and, uh, I can't do it.
Oh, I t-thought that was what you expected of me,
and all the anger and frustration built up
and just, well, came out.
I-I'm sorry.
Actually, it was something to see.
You're quite beautiful when you're angry.
We sifted through your ideas at the office.
You came up with some good things.
What I think we should do is talk about them together.
You... you still want me to work on the project?
Yes, I do. We'll talk about it in the morning.
Oh, thank you for the second chance.
I-I was ready to come over tomorrow
and clean out my desk.
Well, you can clean out mine. I'll give you a blowtorch.
We have to be going.
We're meeting Mr. Halifax for dinner.
Oh, I sure hope it goes better than the last time.
He wouldn't let me eat until he was finished.
Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow.
I really appreciate it.
Bye.
One of your beams?
Steven!
Kids!
Yeah? What is it, hon?
I'm still a working woman.
Oh, great!
I think I owe everyone an apology.
I think that's a very noble gesture.
What did you do?
Ever since I started working,
I was taking all my irritability and nervousness out on you.
I'm sorry.
I was trying to be the perfect working woman,
the perfect mother, the perfect wife,
and, uh, that's crazy, 'cause I'm not perfect.
Ah, mom, perfection's overrated.
I know. I've been there.
It hasn't been all your fault, Elyse.
If you're going to work,
we've got to make some adjustments, too.
As a future working woman, I'm with you 100%.
That goes double for me.
Not the bit about working.
I think what we're trying to say, mom,
is we're willing to help out more.
Thank you.
So, mom... What's for dinner?
Uh, what I mean is,
what would you like us to make you for dinner?
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