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♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
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00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:23,450
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,980
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:28,780
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,810 --> 00:00:34,010
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:37,180
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,880
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,550
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,580 --> 00:00:45,210
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,880
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47,910 --> 00:00:49,880
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49,910 --> 00:00:51,350
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:54,210
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:57,080
♪ without us?
15
00:00:57,110 --> 00:01:00,610
♪ sha-la-la-la
16
00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,750
Well, dad, you can breathe easy.
17
00:01:08,780 --> 00:01:11,010
Your worries are over.
18
00:01:11,050 --> 00:01:12,680
Great.
19
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:16,780
Uh, you are looking
at a young man
20
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,580
on the verge of becoming
independently wealthy
21
00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:19,750
at the age of 18.
22
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:21,480
Congratulations!
23
00:01:24,410 --> 00:01:25,710
Come on, dad,
24
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:27,590
aren't you gonna ask me
what this is all about?
25
00:01:27,610 --> 00:01:29,550
All right. What's it all about?
26
00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,750
Guess.
27
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,610
Alex...
28
00:01:34,650 --> 00:01:37,180
Dad, the student council
has granted me
29
00:01:37,210 --> 00:01:39,950
the exclusive right to sell
senior class souvenirs.
30
00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:42,410
Class rings? T-shirts?
That kind of thing?
31
00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:44,210
Oh, sure, sure.
32
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,710
Another man might settle
for selling that kind of stuff,
33
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:50,210
but I'm planning to expand this
into a major enterprise.
34
00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:53,710
A full line of Harding High
class of '84 products.
35
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,910
Coffee mugs. Bookmarks.
Frisbees...
36
00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,180
That's just the start!
37
00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:03,080
Let me know
when I can quit my job.
38
00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:04,250
I will.
39
00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:06,780
Uh, dad,
there's just one other thing.
40
00:02:06,810 --> 00:02:08,110
In order to get started in this,
41
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,410
I have make an initial
investment of $100.
42
00:02:11,450 --> 00:02:13,480
Where are you
gonna get the $100?
43
00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:18,050
From my partner.
44
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,610
Who's your partner?
45
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:22,750
Well, dad,
let's put it this way...
46
00:02:22,780 --> 00:02:26,110
You're wearing his shirt...
47
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:27,150
Partner.
48
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:30,080
No, thanks, Alex.
49
00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,680
Aw, come on, dad. No.
50
00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:33,010
Think about it!
51
00:02:33,050 --> 00:02:37,050
"Keaton and Son...
The Souvenir People."
52
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,680
It's the American dream, dad.
53
00:02:40,710 --> 00:02:44,380
If you say no to this,
you're saying no to America.
54
00:02:44,410 --> 00:02:46,280
What you're saying
is you'll put up 50 bucks,
55
00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,980
and I'll put up 50 bucks,
is that it?
56
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:50,780
Dad, if you're gonna take
a hard line on this,
57
00:02:50,810 --> 00:02:53,310
we might as well...
58
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:55,950
Just dissolve the partnership
right now.
59
00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:58,550
Oh, so... so I'm supposed
to put up the whole $100?
60
00:02:58,580 --> 00:03:00,610
It's a deal.
61
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:07,350
Steven, how can you eat
at a time like this?
62
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:10,450
I don't know.
I just go on instinct.
63
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,980
My mother's gonna
be here any minute.
64
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:13,080
Aren't you nervous?
65
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,110
I'm covering.
66
00:03:15,150 --> 00:03:16,950
A little tense this morning,
aren't we, mom?
67
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:19,980
Okay, I-i may be
a little anxious,
68
00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,910
but it's the first time
my mom's come to stay
69
00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,880
since she and dad got s-s...
Se... s... s...
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00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:26,210
Separated.
71
00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,810
Thank you.
72
00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:29,510
Come on, Elyse, relax.
73
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,010
I know it's a difficult thing
74
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,250
to watch your parents'
marriage break up.
75
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,050
Their marriage didn't break up.
They're only s-s-s... se...
76
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,450
Separated.
77
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,680
Thank you.
78
00:03:39,710 --> 00:03:41,910
Isn't grandma here yet?
79
00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:43,250
Steven: Not yet.
80
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,980
I like when grandma visits.
81
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,950
She really knows
how to spoil someone.
82
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:50,150
Oh, she's here!
83
00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:51,410
Ah, oh, okay. Oh, oh, oh.
Now, kids,
84
00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:53,880
I want you to take it a little
easy on grandma this time.
85
00:03:53,910 --> 00:03:55,417
Why? What do you mean, mom?
86
00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:59,680
Well, you know, grandma and
grandpa are s-s-s... se...
87
00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:01,010
Separated. Separated.Separated.
88
00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:03,110
Thank you.
89
00:04:03,150 --> 00:04:06,211
And I think we need to pitch in
and help boost up her spirit.
90
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,885
She's likely to be a little
more depressed and unhappy
91
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,280
than you're used to seeing her.
92
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,950
Hello, hello, hello!
93
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,650
Hi, grandma!
94
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:15,710
Oh, Alex, hello.
95
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,880
Well, uh,
we've got to get going.
96
00:04:17,910 --> 00:04:19,210
Kate, I'll see you
later tonight.
97
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:20,550
I've got to get the kids
to school.
98
00:04:20,580 --> 00:04:21,910
Come on. Bye, babes.
99
00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:22,910
Jennifer: Bye.
100
00:04:22,950 --> 00:04:24,480
Steven: Don't forget your coats.
101
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,950
Bye-bye, Kate. Honey.
102
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:29,680
Elyse.
103
00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:31,580
Oh.
104
00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,880
How you feelin', mom?
105
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:35,280
Great. How are you feeling?
106
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,680
Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine.
107
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:40,750
I was just asking 'cause
you and dad are s-s-s... se...
108
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,080
Separated?
109
00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:43,510
Thank you.
110
00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:46,080
That's a real difficult word
for me to say.
111
00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:47,910
How are you on the word
"divorced"?
112
00:04:47,950 --> 00:04:48,950
Mom!
113
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:51,180
It's almost final.
114
00:04:51,210 --> 00:04:52,650
"Almost" is not final.
115
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,480
Let's not close the door
completely.
116
00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:56,150
I mean,
you and dad might reconcile,
117
00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,510
move back into the house.
118
00:04:57,550 --> 00:04:58,950
We sold the house.
119
00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:00,580
You sold the house?!
120
00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:02,710
My room, too?
121
00:05:08,710 --> 00:05:09,980
Hello?
122
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:13,750
Uh, yeah, she is. Just a minute.
123
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:15,280
It's for you.
124
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,510
It's a man.
125
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,480
I gave some friends this number.
I hope it's all right.
126
00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:21,850
Sure.
127
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,480
Hello?
128
00:05:23,510 --> 00:05:24,510
Oh, hi, Phillip.
129
00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:26,810
"Phillip"?
130
00:05:26,850 --> 00:05:30,110
Lunch today?
Ooh, that would be lovely.
131
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,680
Well, I'll see you later, honey.
132
00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,210
"Honey"?
133
00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,480
Phillip,
you shouldn't say such things.
134
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:45,280
Dad... dad!
135
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:46,680
I just got back
from the wholesalers
136
00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:48,010
with some prototypes.
137
00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:49,180
I'm telling you,
138
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:51,850
these things
are surefire bestsellers.
139
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,650
Okay? First we have
140
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,410
the official Harding High
class of '84...
141
00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:58,380
Duck caller.
142
00:06:01,580 --> 00:06:03,410
We better shut the door.
143
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,050
We do not want
any ducks in here.
144
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,380
Look at this.
145
00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,650
Class of '84...
Windshield wiper.
146
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:17,380
Dad, I am gonna sell
class of '84 pasta makers,
147
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:20,610
class of '84 glow-in-the-dark
shoe trees.
148
00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:24,580
Class of '84
charcoal briquettes!
149
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:27,910
Well, what do you think?
150
00:06:27,950 --> 00:06:30,350
I-I like the briquettes...
151
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,850
But, uh, some of these items
152
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,050
strike me as being
a little impractical.
153
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,680
Aw, dad, dad, trust me.
154
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,480
I have got my finger
on the pulse
155
00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:39,780
of the contemporary
American teenager.
156
00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,780
Oh. I almost forgot.
157
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:44,450
Class of '84 monocles.
158
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:47,710
We are going to sell
159
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,010
boatloads of these babies!
160
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:52,080
In any case,
I think I'll resist the urge
161
00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,250
to put a down payment
on a summer house.
162
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,810
Where's Mallory?
163
00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,510
She's supposed to do
the dinner dishes.
164
00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,050
She said she'll do them later.
165
00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,450
She's upstairs helping grandma
get ready for her date.
166
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,550
Grandma's going out again?
167
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:07,420
That's the third time this week
she's gone out.
168
00:07:07,450 --> 00:07:09,610
Yeah, isn't that something?
169
00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:13,150
Over 40 and still active.
170
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,410
A real miracle.
171
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,780
You know, Steven, I don't think
I like the idea of...
172
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:20,950
Elyse. Ely...
173
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:24,550
I said I wasn't gonna
interfere, and I won't.
174
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,010
Now, are you sure you don't mind
175
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,350
my borrowing your necklace,
Mallory?
176
00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:30,480
Of course not, grandma.
I think it looks great on you.
177
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:32,580
You wouldn't lie to an old lady,
would you?
178
00:07:32,610 --> 00:07:35,180
I don't know any old ladies.
179
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:36,710
Grandma, you look so pretty.
180
00:07:36,750 --> 00:07:38,010
Thank you.
181
00:07:38,050 --> 00:07:40,010
Mom, if you think I'm gonna
let you leave the house
182
00:07:40,050 --> 00:07:42,310
looking like that,
you are sadly mistaken.
183
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,850
Well, what's wrong
with the way I look?
184
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,180
Nothing. You look great!
185
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,380
Thank you.
186
00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:50,380
Mom, don't you think that dress
187
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:51,380
is just a little too...
188
00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:52,510
Too...
189
00:07:52,550 --> 00:07:54,050
Too what?
190
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,010
Too red?
191
00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,810
No, I think it's just
the right amount of red.
192
00:07:58,850 --> 00:08:00,250
Ooh.
193
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:01,510
That's Phillip.
194
00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:02,650
How do I look?
195
00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:04,250
Never mind!
196
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:05,880
I'll get it, grandma.
197
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,310
Hi, how are you doing?
198
00:08:09,350 --> 00:08:10,810
You must be
my grandmother's date.
199
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,350
You mean to tell me
that ravishing woman
200
00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:13,610
is a grandmother?
201
00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:15,610
I can't believe it.
202
00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:16,810
Well, uh,
I call her "grandmother."
203
00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:18,550
It's just a term of affection.
204
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:23,650
Actually, she's my niece.
205
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,580
Come on in here
and meet everyone.
206
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,280
Now, don't tell me.
207
00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,710
This fine young man is Alex,
208
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,750
and these beautiful creatures
209
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,980
must be Mallory, Jennifer,
and Steven.
210
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,080
How do you do?
211
00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:41,680
And this is...
212
00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:42,780
My wife, Elyse.
213
00:08:42,810 --> 00:08:44,150
Elyse!
214
00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:46,210
I've been looking forward
to meeting you
215
00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,010
for a long time.
216
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:49,380
How long?
217
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,280
Oh, I see.
You want to know how long
218
00:08:51,310 --> 00:08:52,750
I've been seeing your mother?
219
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:54,710
The question did cross my mind.
220
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,780
Didn't she tell you?
In February it'll be 20 years.
221
00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:00,150
20 years?! Behind daddy's back?!
222
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,750
Phillip's my dentist, honey.
223
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:04,910
Dr. Morgan?
224
00:09:04,950 --> 00:09:06,580
That's right.
225
00:09:06,610 --> 00:09:09,410
Kate's spoken very highly
of your root canal.
226
00:09:11,380 --> 00:09:13,910
I try to brush after every meal
227
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:16,450
and avoid between-meal treats.
228
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,810
And when she doesn't,
I remind her.
229
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,210
I'm a bit of a floss man,
myself.
230
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:25,680
Well, tell us a little
about yourself, Phillip.
231
00:09:25,710 --> 00:09:26,950
Any children? Three.
232
00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:28,550
Wife? Divorced.
233
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:29,880
Health? Knock wood.
234
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,480
Plans for the future.
235
00:09:32,510 --> 00:09:35,010
Well, I'm retired,
I have plenty of money...
236
00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:38,510
I guess I'll just hang around
until I die.
237
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,710
When do you think that'll be?
238
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,080
Gin.
239
00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,110
Hmm?
240
00:09:54,150 --> 00:09:55,180
I said, "Gin."
241
00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:56,610
Oh, did I win?
242
00:09:58,550 --> 00:09:59,850
I won.
243
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,550
Oh.
244
00:10:01,580 --> 00:10:03,150
What time is it, Steven?
245
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:05,210
Elyse,
I'm sure your mother's fine.
246
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,480
My mother?!
247
00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:08,880
You think I'm staying up
because of my mother?
248
00:10:08,910 --> 00:10:11,610
I happen to love this game.
That's why I'm staying up.
249
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:14,910
So just shut up and play poker.
250
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:17,480
Want to talk about her?
251
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:19,910
No. I do not
want to talk about her.
252
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:21,880
All right.
253
00:10:21,910 --> 00:10:24,880
I cannot believe
she is out on a date.
254
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,980
Phillip looked like
a perfect gentleman.
255
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:31,610
Oh, Steven, you are so naive.
256
00:10:31,650 --> 00:10:35,550
I have read articles about sex
and older people.
257
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:39,550
They retire to these little
communities of condominiums.
258
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,880
They...
They take folk dancing.
259
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,880
They eat the early-bird special.
260
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,380
Then they all go home
to their hot tubs.
261
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,350
There are a lot
of grandmas and grandpas
262
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:51,050
in hot water right now!
263
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,010
Elyse, your mother
is a grown woman.
264
00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:55,510
I'm sure she can
take care of herself.
265
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:57,180
She may be a grown woman,
Steven,
266
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:59,180
but she cannot
take care of herself.
267
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,650
My father's always
protected her!
268
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,310
She's been married for 40 years.
269
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:05,410
What could she know about sex?
270
00:11:09,150 --> 00:11:10,680
You know what I mean. Yeah.
271
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:14,210
I-I-i am sure she is fine.
272
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,910
It's after midnight.
Why hasn't she come home?
273
00:11:22,950 --> 00:11:24,550
I think we should go to bed.
274
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:28,050
I can't.
I'm too keyed up to sleep.
275
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,780
Well, maybe, just maybe,
276
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:32,780
we could think of something else
277
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:34,950
to, uh...
278
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:38,110
Pass the time up there.
279
00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:39,750
Hmm?
280
00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:42,550
What, you mean now?!
With my mother out?!
281
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,110
We'll tell her about it.
282
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,880
I'm... I'm sorry, Steven.
283
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,750
This whole business
with my mother
284
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:54,980
is really getting to me.
285
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,450
Now, look, Elyse, she
is practically a divorced woman.
286
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,650
You have got to accept it.
287
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,310
I could accept it a lot easier
288
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:04,110
if I didn't have to watch
mom go gallivanting off
289
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:07,380
with the man who told her
to rinse and spit for 20 years.
290
00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,910
I'll get it.
291
00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:14,880
Hello.
292
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,980
Oh, hi.
293
00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:21,150
Uh, a-all right. Fine.
294
00:12:21,180 --> 00:12:23,650
Uh, oh, I will. Y-you too.
295
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,350
Yeah. Bye.
296
00:12:25,380 --> 00:12:26,580
Who was that?
297
00:12:26,610 --> 00:12:28,380
Uh, that was your mother.
298
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:31,210
Uh, she said they had
a wonderful time at the concert,
299
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,180
uh, they stopped
for ice cream afterwards,
300
00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:34,910
and, uh... Oh, uh, yeah,
301
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:36,850
she's, uh, spending the night
at Phillip's.
302
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:57,880
That's her! She's home! Ow!
303
00:12:59,210 --> 00:13:01,150
Just where have you been?!
304
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,610
I was next door at the Obecks'.
305
00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:10,410
You see,
that's how the route goes...
306
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:11,850
Obecks, Keatons, Handelmans.
307
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,950
Fine, fine.
You're doing a good job.
308
00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,510
Keep up the good work.
309
00:13:15,550 --> 00:13:17,180
As long as I have you here,
Mrs. Keaton,
310
00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:20,680
could I interest you in our
new line of yogurt products?
311
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:22,510
Have a nice day!
312
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:24,580
Who was...
Who was at the door?
313
00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:26,250
The milkman. How is he?
314
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,910
Who cares?
315
00:13:29,010 --> 00:13:30,210
There she is!
316
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,410
She kissed him
right in front of us!
317
00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,750
They weren't in front of us
until you opened the door.
318
00:13:54,110 --> 00:13:57,810
Elyse, why did you open the door
just then?
319
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,680
I-I heard the key.
I thought you were the milkman.
320
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,680
You gave the milkman the key?
321
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:07,410
Mom...
322
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,210
Just where have you been?
323
00:14:09,250 --> 00:14:11,010
What?
324
00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:17,110
I said, "where have you been?"
325
00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:20,250
That's what I thought you said.
326
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,550
And the answer is,
"what business is it of yours?"
327
00:14:26,780 --> 00:14:28,750
Well, we've got a big day
ahead of us.
328
00:14:31,610 --> 00:14:33,050
Gotta get our sleep.
329
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,080
It's only 6:15.
330
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,250
You're only gonna have
45 minutes.
331
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,910
Well, that sounds
like more than enough.
332
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,380
Are you coming up?
333
00:14:40,410 --> 00:14:43,780
No, mom and I have some things
to talk about. I'll be up.
334
00:14:43,810 --> 00:14:45,280
All right, but all I'll wait
is half an hour,
335
00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,980
then I've got to get to sleep.
336
00:14:49,950 --> 00:14:52,710
I don't get my 15 minutes a day,
I'm worthless.
337
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,550
Now, do you mind telling me
what this is all about?
338
00:15:01,580 --> 00:15:03,650
I've had a very busy evening,
339
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,180
and I'd like to get some rest.
340
00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:07,910
Well, if you would come home
at a decent hour,
341
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,250
you wouldn't be so tired now.
342
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,180
If I'd come home
at a decent hour,
343
00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:15,910
I would have had to spend
the evening arguing with you
344
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,610
about the divorce.
345
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:20,310
Oh, so rather than talk
with your only daughter,
346
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,050
you'd rather soak
in some man's hot tub?!
347
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:26,410
We did not soak in any hot tub.
348
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:29,880
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
349
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:31,880
The hot tub was too crowded.
350
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,710
We went in the sauna.
351
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:39,850
Maybe we'll use the hot tub
next time.
352
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:44,110
Just what did you and this
tooth-jockey do tonight?
353
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:47,480
I am not going to subject myself
to these questions.
354
00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:50,480
I'm a mature adult capable
of taking care of my own life,
355
00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:53,080
and I'm going to do so
whether you like it or not.
356
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:54,450
Come to think of it,
357
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,150
I remember you saying
the exact same thing to me
358
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,050
about 20 years ago.
359
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,580
Wait... just tell me,
after all these years,
360
00:16:01,610 --> 00:16:05,310
how can you just go out
on dates and be with men?
361
00:16:05,350 --> 00:16:08,710
Well, to tell you the truth,
it isn't easy...
362
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,710
But it's all coming back to me.
363
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,010
Good morning.
364
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,180
Look, Steven, we have a very
serious problem on our hands
365
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:20,680
here with my mother.
366
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:22,150
I'm trying to figure
a few things out.
367
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:23,810
If you don't mind,
I'd rather not
368
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,050
be diverted
by your idle chatter.
369
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:33,650
Sorry I rambled on like that.
370
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:36,580
It's okay.
371
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:41,650
Did you and your mother talk?
372
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,850
You... you always take her side,
don't you?
373
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,910
What?
374
00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:48,210
Well, admit it,
375
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:50,210
y-you've always liked my mother,
haven't you?
376
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,980
All right, I confess. I do.
377
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:56,250
Sorry, Alex,
it's just not going to work!
378
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,810
Aw, come on, Jennifer.
How do you know until you try?
379
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,080
Some things you just know.
380
00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:02,350
What's the problem?
381
00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:05,280
Alex wants me to sell
his class of '84 moustache wax
382
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,380
to the 5th grade.
383
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:10,650
Come on, Jennifer, Jennifer!
Jennifer, look.
384
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,650
I told you, I'm willing
to give you half the profits.
385
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,650
Hey, wait a minute.
386
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,850
I thought I was getting
half the profits.
387
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:25,310
Um...
388
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:28,080
The dream is dead, pop.
389
00:17:28,110 --> 00:17:30,810
Sales haven't been good?
390
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:33,380
Sales haven't been.
391
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,450
Nothing?
392
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:38,880
Well, yeah, I sold a bottle
of class of '84 suntan lotion
393
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:40,410
to Mallory's friend Carla.
394
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,150
It was, uh...
395
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:44,710
$1.30 total profit.
396
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,310
Here's your 65 cents.
397
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:52,350
This was once $100, Alex.
398
00:17:56,910 --> 00:17:59,480
Alex, Carla wants her money back
from that suntan lotion
399
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:02,050
you sold her!
It turned her skin green!
400
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:08,650
No way, Mallory.
She knew the risks.
401
00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,380
I told her
there was a possibility
402
00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:12,110
of that happening.
403
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:13,650
Dad?
404
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,210
Well, just how green
did she turn?
405
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,810
Dad!
406
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:25,110
Good morning, mom.
407
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:26,680
Morning, Elyse. Kate.
408
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:29,350
Morning, grandma. Sleep well?
409
00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:30,480
Not really, Jennifer.
410
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,550
Not at all.
411
00:18:32,580 --> 00:18:33,880
What?
412
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:35,410
Nothing.
413
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:38,210
Don't do that, Elyse.
You're being very childish.
414
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,110
Oh, I'm being childish.
415
00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:42,250
That's funny. Ha ha ha.
416
00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:46,210
So, grandma, how was your date?
417
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,680
Oh, very nice, thank you.
418
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,580
How'd the necklace go over?
Did Phillip like it?
419
00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:52,550
Yes, thank you, he did.
420
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:55,050
Oh, I must have left
the necklace at his house.
421
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,810
I'm sorry.
422
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,290
I tend to get a little
butterfingered
423
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:03,850
while I'm morally outraged.
424
00:19:07,350 --> 00:19:08,610
Excuse me. Oh, Kate.
425
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,650
Don't...
426
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,850
Goodbye, Steven.
427
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,780
Kate, what are you doing?
428
00:19:22,810 --> 00:19:24,850
I'm not going to stay here
and be insulted
429
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,610
by that woman you married.
Oh, come on.
430
00:19:26,650 --> 00:19:29,080
Come on.
431
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,510
Kate, pl...
432
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:31,910
Sit... sit down.
433
00:19:31,950 --> 00:19:33,080
Please. Please.
434
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:34,210
Sit.
435
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:35,250
Sit down.
436
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,280
Look.
437
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:40,050
Uh, I know Elyse has been, uh...
438
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,980
A little irrational lately.
439
00:19:42,010 --> 00:19:44,750
A little irrational?
440
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:48,410
All right, in some states
she'd be put away, but...
441
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,550
You've got to understand,
442
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,710
divorce is always tough
on the children.
443
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:59,050
Uh...
444
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,450
So, here we are...
445
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,050
Mother, daughter...
446
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,480
Husband, son-in-law...
447
00:20:23,510 --> 00:20:25,280
Just the four of us.
448
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:32,750
Well, maybe, uh...
Maybe I'll be off to work now.
449
00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:34,280
I-I-if it's okay with
the two of you...
450
00:20:34,310 --> 00:20:35,310
Go.Go.
451
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:40,450
Elyse, I'm furious with you.
452
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,850
You're mad at me?
453
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,210
I'm not the one
who stayed out all night.
454
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:47,080
Why are you having a harder time
455
00:20:47,110 --> 00:20:49,580
accepting this divorce
than I am?
456
00:20:49,610 --> 00:20:51,550
It's not right!
457
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,380
It's unnatural!
458
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:56,810
There are some things in this
world that you can count on.
459
00:20:56,850 --> 00:20:58,710
The sun comes up in the morning,
460
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:01,250
it's hard to whistle
with crackers in your mouth,
461
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,250
and my mom and dad
do not get divorced!
462
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,610
Elyse, you're going
to have to get used to it.
463
00:21:06,650 --> 00:21:08,350
You had a great marriage.
464
00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:11,350
We had a great family.
Everybody said so.
465
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:12,680
Was it all a lie?
466
00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:14,980
Look, we did have
a good marriage.
467
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:17,680
We grew apart. It happens.
468
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,310
But it doesn't erase
the wonderful years
469
00:21:20,350 --> 00:21:22,210
we had together.
470
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,580
I want my family back.
471
00:21:25,610 --> 00:21:27,880
Oh, honey.
472
00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:29,750
It's so scary.
473
00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:31,750
If... if you and dad
can break up,
474
00:21:31,780 --> 00:21:34,180
that can happen to anybody.
475
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,550
It could happen to me.
476
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:38,650
No, I don't think
it'll ever happen to you.
477
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,480
Charlie and I were
husband and wife for 40 years,
478
00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:46,550
but somehow we never
became real friends.
479
00:21:48,010 --> 00:21:50,180
You and Steven are friends.
480
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,450
Don't you miss dad... A little?
481
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,310
Of course I do.
482
00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:01,310
There are a lot of things
about your father that I miss.
483
00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:02,450
Like what?
484
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,780
Oh, little things.
485
00:22:04,810 --> 00:22:07,180
Like the way he used to
wake me up in the morning.
486
00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:08,650
How?
487
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,450
He used to lean over and yell,
488
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,750
"swimmers, take your marks!"
489
00:22:12,780 --> 00:22:16,050
And then he'd shoot off
a little toy cap pistol.
490
00:22:19,250 --> 00:22:20,650
You miss that?
491
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,450
I never overslept.
492
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:27,580
You know, Elyse...
493
00:22:27,610 --> 00:22:31,050
I've always belonged
to someone else.
494
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,410
Charlie Donnelly's wife.
495
00:22:33,450 --> 00:22:34,880
Elyse's mother.
496
00:22:34,910 --> 00:22:36,780
Ned's mother.
497
00:22:36,810 --> 00:22:40,280
Never just me, Kate.
498
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:44,280
This is a very difficult time
for me.
499
00:22:45,310 --> 00:22:48,310
I guess I haven't made it
any easier for you, have I?
500
00:22:48,350 --> 00:22:51,450
I really need your support,
honey.
501
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,050
I need to feel you're behind me.
502
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,610
Oh, I am, mom.
503
00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:58,180
I'm sorry.
504
00:23:01,210 --> 00:23:02,680
Will you stay?
505
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,680
Of course I'll stay.
506
00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:10,550
You're gonna continue dating,
though, huh?
507
00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:12,010
Yep.
508
00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:15,410
Okay.
509
00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:17,610
No slow-dancing
on the first date.
510
00:23:18,950 --> 00:23:21,110
No coming in after 10:00
on school nights.
511
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,710
"School nights."
512
00:23:22,750 --> 00:23:26,150
Two feet on the ground
at all times.
513
00:23:26,180 --> 00:23:29,750
If you're out with someone who's
drunk too much, you call me.
32992
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