Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,267 --> 00:00:17,733
♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪
2
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:23,400
♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪
3
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,933
♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪
4
00:00:25,967 --> 00:00:28,733
♪ on the night we kissed
5
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:33,967
♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪
6
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,133
♪ what would we do, baby
7
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:39,833
♪ without us?
8
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:42,500
♪ what would we do, baby
9
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:45,167
♪ without us?
10
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,833
♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪
11
00:00:47,867 --> 00:00:49,833
♪ we can't love
each other through ♪
12
00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:51,300
♪ ooh-hoo
13
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:54,167
♪ what would we do, baby
14
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,033
♪ without us?
15
00:00:57,067 --> 00:01:00,567
♪ sha-la-la-la.
16
00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:07,067
Mallory, that is two!
17
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:10,800
Break another, and we're
down to service for one.
18
00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:12,567
I don't know
what's wrong with me tonight.
19
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,200
I seem so nervous.
20
00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,267
Would the fact that
it's parents night at school
21
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,800
have anything to do with it?
22
00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:21,933
It's parents night? At school?
23
00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,267
Already?
24
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,733
Yes, yes, it is, Mallory.
25
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:27,933
Your night of nights.
26
00:01:27,967 --> 00:01:30,067
A chance for your parents
and your teachers
27
00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:32,767
to get together,
review your grades,
28
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,767
and have a good laugh.
29
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,267
You're so smug, Alex.
30
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,267
You just love parents night,
don't you?
31
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,533
Oh, you bet.
32
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:43,700
I put it right up there
with Christmas Eve.
33
00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:45,967
How are you coming
with the dishes?
34
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,200
Um, there's one or two left.
35
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,467
All right.
We should be back by 9:30.
36
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,767
Look, I know it's gonna be
very hectic there tonight,
37
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,100
so if you have to skip
seeing my algebra teacher,
38
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:57,400
I'll understand.
39
00:01:57,433 --> 00:01:58,700
In fact,
40
00:01:58,733 --> 00:02:00,067
as of yesterday,
41
00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:03,400
Mrs. Stigney...
She took a vow of silence.
42
00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:05,567
We'll pass notes to each other.
43
00:02:06,667 --> 00:02:09,567
What about you, Alex?
Anyone you want us to avoid?
44
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,633
Au contraire!
45
00:02:12,667 --> 00:02:14,333
You go anywhere you want to go.
46
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,500
I just hope
you can contain your joy.
47
00:02:17,533 --> 00:02:20,300
Oh, remember,
make sure and see Mr. Tedesco.
48
00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,267
You've reminded us every hour.
49
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,900
I don't mean to be
a pest about this,
50
00:02:23,933 --> 00:02:25,367
but it's really important.
51
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,800
His cousin is on the faculty
at Dartmouth.
52
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:30,200
If he writes me a letter
of recommendation, I'm in.
53
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,767
Okay, Alex.
54
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,700
Uh, s-so you'll see him?
You'll, uh, butter him up?
55
00:02:34,733 --> 00:02:36,200
Consider him buttered.
56
00:02:36,233 --> 00:02:38,633
Okay, Elyse,
you go to Alex's classes,
57
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,000
and I'll go to Mallory's.
58
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,267
Mr. Tedesco.
59
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,633
Good guess.
60
00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:51,667
Who are you?
61
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:53,767
Elyse Keaton, Alex's mother.
62
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,267
Alex Keaton...
Good man.
63
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,267
Thank you.
64
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:57,800
You must be very proud.
65
00:02:57,833 --> 00:03:00,167
Alex is the best student
in this class.
66
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,667
Of course,
that's not saying much.
67
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,667
Half of them think
"the hunchback of Notre Dame"
68
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,567
was a football player.
69
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,633
Well, this is
one of his favorite classes.
70
00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,267
He talks about you all the time.
71
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:11,300
No need to butter me up.
72
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,267
I wasn't buttering you up.
That was the truth.
73
00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:15,267
My husband and I were
very anxious to meet you,
74
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:18,267
but he had to go to my daughter
Mallory's algebra class.
75
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:19,933
Mallory?
76
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,367
I had a student
named Mallory Keaton last year.
77
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,800
She's the one.
78
00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:24,833
Really?
79
00:03:24,867 --> 00:03:27,600
Which one of your children
is adopted?
80
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:38,300
All right, everybody.
Attention, please.
81
00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:42,100
I'm... Ruben Tedesco.
82
00:03:42,133 --> 00:03:45,300
Your children call me
Mr. Tedesco.
83
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,133
I think you should, too.
84
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,433
I teach European literature.
85
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,767
If you don't belong
in this classroom, don't worry.
86
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,933
Neither do
most of your children.
87
00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:59,667
I'd like to make this
an open forum.
88
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,867
I'll answer any intelligent
questions you may have.
89
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,067
Well, I was wondering
I wanted to...
90
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,067
Hands, please.
91
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,267
Yes, the lady in the front row.
92
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:08,267
Mr. Tedesco...
93
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,367
Not you.
94
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,000
The one next to you,
the old bag.
95
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:18,500
Why do you give out
so much homework?
96
00:04:18,533 --> 00:04:21,733
I said intelligent questions.
Next.
97
00:04:21,767 --> 00:04:23,000
Yes. You.
98
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:25,767
My son, he says you pick on him.
99
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,333
You call him names.
100
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:28,267
Who's your son?
101
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,833
Larry Morgan.
102
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:31,633
Larry the Loser?
103
00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:36,867
Madam, your son is
an insipid, pimple-faced liar!
104
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,267
Anyone else?
105
00:04:40,300 --> 00:04:42,500
Please identify yourself.
106
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,367
I'm Mrs. Binney.
107
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,733
My daughter mindy so enjoyed
reading "The Little Prince."
108
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:52,333
Is there anything else
you'd recommend for her?
109
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,000
Yes. I'd recommend
she lose 40 pounds.
110
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,100
You could lose 30 yourself.
Next.
111
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:04,833
My, my.
Such an inquisitive bunch.
112
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:06,467
I have something to say.
113
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,467
Mr. Tedesco, I-i think
you owe Mrs. Binney
114
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,500
and everyone else in here
an apology.
115
00:05:11,533 --> 00:05:12,833
All: Yes!
116
00:05:12,867 --> 00:05:15,867
Y-you've been terribly rude
and insulting to us all.
117
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,233
Mrs. Keaton,
it's clear that your son
118
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:21,733
does not get his intelligence
from you.
119
00:05:21,767 --> 00:05:24,233
If you feel
I'm being insulting, fine.
120
00:05:24,267 --> 00:05:26,233
I won't insult anyone anymore.
121
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:29,667
This little get-together
is over. I'm leaving.
122
00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:35,400
Sorry. The game is over.
Let me through.
123
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:37,067
Don't push me!
124
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,633
Move it, grandma.
125
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,933
You can't do that!
126
00:05:40,967 --> 00:05:42,700
Who's gonna stop me?
127
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:51,700
All right.
128
00:05:51,733 --> 00:05:54,600
Mallory, you hold the plate,
Jennifer, you hold that piece,
129
00:05:54,633 --> 00:05:57,433
and I'll fit them together.
130
00:05:57,467 --> 00:05:59,100
Okay, great, great.
131
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,700
We've just got to hold it
like this for two minutes,
132
00:06:01,733 --> 00:06:04,300
and it'll last for 2,000 years.
133
00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:08,267
Hey, it says so
right on the bottle.
134
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,433
What should we do?
135
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,467
All right, all right.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
136
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,267
Hello?
137
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:32,767
Yeah, just a second.
138
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,767
It's for you...
Linda.
139
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,567
Oh, thanks.
140
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,500
Uh, Linda?
141
00:06:42,533 --> 00:06:44,533
I'm gonna take it
in the other room.
142
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,400
Sorry about that.
143
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,333
Mom, dad. You're home early.
What happened?
144
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,067
I-it's a long story.
145
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,900
You talked to Mrs. Stigney,
didn't you?!
146
00:07:04,933 --> 00:07:07,133
Y-yes, but that's not...
147
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,700
Oh, I knew it. Listen, I promise
I'll work harder from now on.
148
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:10,800
Mallory, it's...
149
00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:12,567
I'll do my homework
every night, I swear.
150
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,767
Well, maybe not every night,
but every other night...
151
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,967
Mallory!
152
00:07:17,533 --> 00:07:20,400
We have other,
more serious problems right now.
153
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:21,433
Thank god.
154
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,767
Hey. Mom and dad. How'd it go?
155
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,033
Alex, maybe
you'd better sit down.
156
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,074
I can't sit down.
I'm too excited.
157
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,830
Listen, did you see Mr. Tedesco?
158
00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:33,822
Did you, uh,
make an impression on him?
159
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:39,000
Very definitely.
160
00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:41,160
Great. Tell me every detail.
161
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,360
I don't know
exactly how to put this.
162
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,160
I punched Mr. Tedesco
in the mouth.
163
00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:53,500
What did you say?
164
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:55,530
I punched him.
165
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,760
Um... W-when you say "punched,"
166
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,900
d-do you mean an affectionate
little tap, like, uh,
167
00:08:00,930 --> 00:08:03,260
"way to go, Mr. Tedesco"?
168
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,400
I decked him.
169
00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:10,560
Wow! Wow!
170
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,260
Any particular reason?
171
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:15,360
He shoved an elderly lady!
172
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,600
That's it?! How old?
173
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:24,700
Alex, your Mr. Tedesco is
a rude, crass, vile human being!
174
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:26,030
I could have told you that!
175
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:28,300
What did you
have to hit him for?!
176
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:30,700
He was being so rude
and insulting that...
177
00:08:30,730 --> 00:08:33,460
That hitting him was
an automatic reflexive response!
178
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:36,530
I was seized
by an uncontrollable impulse!
179
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,130
Can't you understand?!
180
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,460
No!
181
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,960
It was just...
182
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:44,860
one of those things.
183
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:49,360
Now, I-i-I'm sure
we can all understand it.
184
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,100
Could you explain it to me
one more time, Elyse?
185
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:54,130
Maybe if you showed us
how it happened, mom.
186
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,860
Alex, you be Mr. tedes...
187
00:08:57,430 --> 00:09:00,360
Steven,
I'm so ashamed of myself...
188
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,360
Striking another human being.
189
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,900
Well, look, Elyse, I'm sure that
this can all be cleared up...
190
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,760
cleared up very easily.
191
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,630
Now, why don't you just
call him up and apologize?
192
00:09:15,660 --> 00:09:17,600
Good idea, good idea.
I'll get the number.
193
00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:19,430
Everything is going to be fine.
194
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:21,430
You just had a bad night,
that's all.
195
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:22,430
Yeah.
196
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,960
Champ.
197
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,100
That's right, mom.
198
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,130
And anyways,
Mr. Tedesco's been asking for it
199
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,200
for a long time now.
200
00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:31,330
It's time
somebody put him in his place.
201
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,100
Mallory, I don't want you
to interpret this in any way
202
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:36,230
as meaning
that I condone violence.
203
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,660
I don't.
It was a freak occurrence.
204
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:39,660
Mmm.
205
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,430
Okay, mom.
206
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:42,430
Here you go.
207
00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:44,930
Say anything you have to say.
208
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,430
But get me that recommendation.
209
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:50,430
Don't worry, Alex. I think
I know how to handle this.
210
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:52,030
Hello. Mr. Tedesco?
211
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,130
Hi. This is Elyse Keaton.
212
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,630
Please, please! Hear me out!
213
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:59,460
Mr. Tedesco, I-i feel terribly
about what happened,
214
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,860
and... and I want to apologize.
215
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,830
Now, see here!
216
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,200
What? Where do you live?
217
00:10:07,230 --> 00:10:08,530
W-w...
218
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,930
Uh, m-m-Mr. Tedesco?
219
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,900
Uh, yeah,
pay no attention to her.
220
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:17,060
S-she's been on medication
lately, and...
221
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,500
Hello?
222
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,500
Hello?
223
00:10:27,550 --> 00:10:28,980
Uh, Mr. Tedesco?
224
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,180
What is it?
225
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,550
May I have a word with you?
226
00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:33,480
You've already had seven.
227
00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,610
I'm Steven Keaton,
Alex's father.
228
00:10:35,650 --> 00:10:37,380
Huh?
229
00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:40,650
One of the dueling keatons.
230
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,750
No, I-i don't...
231
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:44,410
Don't come any closer.
232
00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:49,680
Mr. Tedesco, I came to apologize
for my wife's behavior.
233
00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:52,180
She feels terrible
about the whole thing.
234
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:55,980
She's really sorry. We both are.
235
00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:57,680
I could sue, you know.
236
00:10:57,710 --> 00:11:01,050
Look, uh, look,
l-l-let's... let's try to gain
237
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,050
some perspective
on the situation here.
238
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,610
Uh, haven't you ever done
something without thinking...
239
00:11:07,650 --> 00:11:09,550
Something you regretted later?
240
00:11:09,580 --> 00:11:12,010
Yes. I showed up
for parents night.
241
00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:13,480
Look, look, I know you're upset,
242
00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:14,880
and you have every right to be,
243
00:11:14,910 --> 00:11:18,950
but you're obviously a very
intelligent, civilized person
244
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:22,250
who can recognize this incident
for what it is.
245
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:26,780
An aberration.
246
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:30,210
And, uh, I hope
you'll forgive and forget.
247
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,280
Fortunately, Mr. Keaton,
248
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:35,450
your son inherited
your rational temperament.
249
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,080
For his sake,
I will allow myself
250
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:40,310
to be appeased by your words.
251
00:11:40,350 --> 00:11:42,950
I am nothing if not civilized.
252
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,380
Well...
253
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,150
I can see that.
254
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,780
Your wife, however,
is an Amazon.
255
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:53,850
Part Irish, part French.
No Amazon.
256
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,350
You know what I mean, Keaton.
257
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:59,080
She's primal!
258
00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:00,680
Not fully evolved.
259
00:12:00,710 --> 00:12:04,050
You must have a tough time
keeping her in line.
260
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,110
Tell me...
261
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:08,010
Do whips ever enter the picture?
262
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,650
I think I'll be going now.
263
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,310
No, I'm curious...
What's it like
264
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:22,880
to live with that kind
of unbridled she-devil?
265
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:25,510
Goodbye, Mr. Tedesco.
266
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,450
No, wait.
Just one more question.
267
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,650
Does she ever, uh...?
268
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,050
Why, you...
269
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,080
You're in a good mood, Alex.
270
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,950
Hey, why shouldn't I
be in a good mood?
271
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:48,780
Right now, dad and Mr. Tedesco
are probably shaking hands.
272
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,050
They're probably deciding
273
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,110
whether or not
to go out for a beer.
274
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,110
My problems are over.
275
00:12:54,150 --> 00:12:55,510
Hey, mom,
276
00:12:55,550 --> 00:12:57,880
want to go for a few rounds,
just for old times' sake?
277
00:12:57,910 --> 00:12:58,980
Alex!
278
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:01,180
Float like a butterfly,
sting like a bee?
279
00:13:01,210 --> 00:13:02,550
Alex, I'm getting angry!
280
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:05,080
Whoa! Kids, she's mad!
Hit the deck!
281
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:06,550
Aah!
282
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,950
Will you stop it?!
283
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:09,580
Just get the table
set for dinner.
284
00:13:09,610 --> 00:13:12,480
Ah, come on, mom. It's over now.
We can laugh about it.
285
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:16,250
Can't we?
286
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,510
She's not laughing, Alex.
287
00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:19,810
Okay, okay.
288
00:13:21,610 --> 00:13:23,210
What's this?
289
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,650
It's a plate.
290
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,510
It use to be a plate.
Now it's art.
291
00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:37,610
There's lots more art
in the cupboard, mom.
292
00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:42,450
Well, dad, how'd it go?
293
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:44,550
Will he write me
the recommendation?
294
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:47,380
Well, we didn't exactly
discuss the recommendation.
295
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,710
Well, what did you talk about?
296
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:51,410
Well, um...
297
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,010
First, I introduced myself.
298
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:55,950
Then, I-i told him
how sorry we were.
299
00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:59,010
I convinced him
to forgive and forget.
300
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:04,750
Then we made a little bit
of small talk, idle chatter.
301
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,780
Then I punched him in the face.
302
00:14:11,610 --> 00:14:16,110
I'm sorry, Alex.
The man is slime.
303
00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,710
Elyse, if you'd heard
the things he'd said...
304
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:20,250
I can't believe this!
305
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,980
I can't let you two
out of the house!
306
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:27,350
Alex, that man would have
made a killer out of Gandhi.
307
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,750
That man held the key
to my future in his hands.
308
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:38,750
That... that letter
of recommendation
309
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,450
w-was my passport
to the Ivy league,
310
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,750
t-to penny loafers,
raccoon coats...
311
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,680
Girls named Muffy.
312
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:51,380
Alex, there's always
trade school.
313
00:14:51,410 --> 00:14:52,710
Ohh!
314
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,160
How did all this happen, Elyse?
315
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,360
For all these years,
316
00:14:56,400 --> 00:15:00,060
we've lived
by the doctrine of non-violence,
317
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:03,460
of sympathy and love
towards our fellow man,
318
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,060
peace and harmony.
319
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,300
The man is a rodent.
320
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:13,280
Listen, my geography teacher
has been wising off lately.
321
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:15,080
Could one of you
rough her up a bit?
322
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,050
We've got to put a stop to this.
323
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,710
Steven, I know
this may sound crazy,
324
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,710
but I think
we ought to invite Mr. Tedesco
325
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,580
to dinner tomorrow night.
326
00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:28,250
What for? To finish him off?
327
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,010
I don't want that man
in my home, Elyse.
328
00:15:33,050 --> 00:15:34,510
Neither do I, Steven,
329
00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:37,410
but until we can sit down
in peace with him,
330
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:40,310
we'll never be able to sit down
in peace with ourselves.
331
00:15:40,350 --> 00:15:42,910
You're right.
332
00:15:42,950 --> 00:15:46,680
And I think we owe it to Alex
to smooth this thing over.
333
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:50,110
Well... Now
you're talking some sense.
334
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,850
It's settled. We'll invite him
for dinner tomorrow night.
335
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:57,280
Girls, you got to
help me out tonight.
336
00:15:57,310 --> 00:15:58,850
We got to keep things
in an up mood
337
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,310
when Mr. Tedesco comes...
Happiness, gaiety.
338
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:05,080
Laugh and giggle
as much as possible.
339
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,310
In fact, let's practice, okay?
340
00:16:07,350 --> 00:16:08,810
Go ahead... laugh.
341
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,450
Heh.
342
00:16:12,650 --> 00:16:14,610
That's not bad, not bad,
343
00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:17,150
but try it with
a little more enthusiasm.
344
00:16:18,850 --> 00:16:21,310
Hee hee hee hee hee.
Hee hee hee hee hee.
345
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:23,010
Better.
346
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,350
Okay, look, uh...
347
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,510
If he starts getting into it
with mom and dad,
348
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,110
talk about something else, okay?
349
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:29,680
Like...
Like the weather.
350
00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:32,810
Okay, Alex, now,
the chicken's in the oven,
351
00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:34,680
and the table is set.
352
00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,250
Uh, chicken? Chicken?
353
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,480
Is that the best
you could do, mom?
354
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:39,980
What's wrong with chicken?
355
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:42,610
You do not appease a man
with poultry.
356
00:16:44,010 --> 00:16:46,480
Beef! We need beef!
357
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:48,480
We're having chicken, Alex.
358
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:50,480
Okay, look,
I've given some thought
359
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,350
a-as to what you might say
to Mr. Tedesco.
360
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:58,010
"Never has so cruel an attack
been perpetrated
361
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,150
on so innocent a victim."
362
00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:06,480
"Would that I could reverse
the hands of time, I would.
363
00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:09,980
I beg your forgiveness
with all my heart and soul"?
364
00:17:13,010 --> 00:17:15,180
Alex, we're not
gonna say these things.
365
00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,780
We had no right to hit him.
We know that.
366
00:17:17,810 --> 00:17:19,810
But we're not going to
beg his forgiveness.
367
00:17:19,850 --> 00:17:21,910
Begging's out?
368
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,180
Afraid so.
369
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:25,250
We're not gonna grovel, either.
370
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,280
No groveling, either?
371
00:17:26,310 --> 00:17:29,210
Why are we having the guy over?
372
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,010
I'll get it.
373
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,510
Mr. Tedesco.
374
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:37,510
Hello, Alex.
375
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:39,150
Come on in.
376
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:43,050
Please... sit down.
377
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,210
Thank you.
378
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,980
Hee hee hee hee hee!
Hee hee hee hee hee!
379
00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:57,510
I'm glad you could accept
our invitation, Mr. Tedesco.
380
00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:00,010
Well, of course
he accepted, mom.
381
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,910
He's a very forgiving man.
382
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,910
Before you sits a human being
383
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,880
who thinks and acts
on the highest plane imaginable.
384
00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:09,210
I came for the free dinner.
385
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:17,650
Hee hee. Hee hee.
386
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,950
Mr. Tedesco, why don't we start
with a clean slate here?
387
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:29,150
Now, we're all reasonable,
intelligent human beings
388
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:32,010
who have just behaved poorly
over the past few days.
389
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:35,580
Now, I know my husband and I
are sorry for hitting you,
390
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:39,110
and I'm sure that you're sorry
for saying the things you said.
391
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,850
What's for dinner?
392
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,210
Chicken. But before we eat,
I was hoping that...
393
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,010
I had chicken for lunch.
394
00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:48,950
Mom, there's got to be
something else in the fridge.
395
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,250
Maybe we can go out and eat.
396
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,350
Uh, no, Alex.
We are staying here.
397
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:55,810
And we're eating chicken.
398
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:59,610
I said I had chicken for lunch.
399
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,450
Um...
400
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,550
They say it might rain.
401
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:07,180
Yeah.
402
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,810
Rain's good.
403
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:14,580
Now, that's
the Mallory I remember.
404
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:16,080
Mr. Tedesco...
405
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:17,780
Steven!
406
00:19:17,810 --> 00:19:20,580
I-I think I need some help
in the kitchen...
407
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:22,050
With the chicken.
408
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,750
We'll help too, mom.
409
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:25,810
Good! It's a big chicken.
410
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,180
Sorry about that, Mr. Tedesco.
411
00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:35,210
It's about what I expected.
412
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:38,810
Look, uh... There's no point
413
00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:41,050
in going on with this charade
any longer.
414
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,180
You're not gonna write
that letter of recommendation
415
00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:44,380
for me, are you?
416
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:50,180
Uh... Are you?
417
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,310
You know, Keaton...
418
00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:56,510
This is one of those moments
when I prize being a teacher...
419
00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:58,510
When I can
watch a student squirm
420
00:19:58,550 --> 00:20:02,010
because I hold his fate
in my hands.
421
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,610
You like that, huh?
422
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:07,280
I do. I do.
423
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:11,980
There's something very appealing
about... Playing god.
424
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:15,480
That's how we think of you.
425
00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:18,080
I love having power.
426
00:20:18,110 --> 00:20:22,380
And it's inspiring to see
that you don't abuse it.
427
00:20:22,410 --> 00:20:24,710
Uh, look...
428
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:26,780
I really need
that recommendation.
429
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,410
I know.
430
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:31,410
Okay, okay, okay!
431
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,810
You've suffered long enough.
432
00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:36,450
You got the recommendation.
433
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,280
Uh... I-i do?
434
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:40,550
Yeah... wrote it
the day you asked me for it.
435
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:42,310
It's right here.
436
00:20:42,350 --> 00:20:45,350
I don't usually show letters
of recommendation to students,
437
00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:48,510
but this one's exceptionally
well-written, and...
438
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:49,810
Well...
439
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,410
Here you go.
440
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:54,580
Ohh!
441
00:20:54,610 --> 00:20:56,450
Oh, Mr. Tedesco.
442
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,250
Oh, this is beautiful.
This is beautiful. Thank you.
443
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,250
I admit that I thought about
not giving you a recommendation.
444
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,350
Then I realized
that wouldn't be fair.
445
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:05,710
It wasn't you that hit me.
446
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,780
Uh, no, no, no, it wasn't.
447
00:21:07,810 --> 00:21:10,880
It's not your fault your parents
are the way they are.
448
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:13,710
You know, in fact, considering
what your parents are like,
449
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,150
you're a remarkable fellow.
450
00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,280
Yeah.
451
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:17,950
Now, when they came
into the classroom,
452
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:22,850
I realized that evolution
sometimes takes a detour.
453
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:24,850
We're all descended from apes,
454
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,080
but not quite as directly
as you.
455
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:32,250
Mr. Tedesco...
456
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,810
Sorry about
flying off the handle earlier.
457
00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:37,180
My, uh, my wife and I
were talking out there,
458
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:40,150
and we reminded each other
what this evening is all about
459
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:42,880
and how much it means
to this family.
460
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,810
Yes. We're defrosting
some steaks.
461
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:46,810
Should be ready
in about 20 minutes.
462
00:21:46,850 --> 00:21:48,950
Yummy.
463
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:52,980
No, mom. No steaks tonight.
464
00:21:53,010 --> 00:21:54,250
Tonight...
465
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,610
We're having chicken.
466
00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,650
No, Alex, remember? Mr. Tedesco
had chicken for lunch.
467
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,280
Yeah, well, I don't care
what Mr. Tedesco had for lunch,
468
00:22:04,310 --> 00:22:07,680
and, uh, this is what I think
of his recommendation.
469
00:22:07,710 --> 00:22:08,780
Alex, what are you doing?!
470
00:22:08,810 --> 00:22:11,050
I'm keeping my self-respect.
471
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,080
I overrated you, Alex.
472
00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:15,510
I thought you were better
than your parents.
473
00:22:15,550 --> 00:22:16,980
I was wrong.
474
00:22:17,010 --> 00:22:18,580
Look, Mr. Tedesco,
475
00:22:18,610 --> 00:22:22,750
I-I don't feel like
I'm better than my parents.
476
00:22:22,780 --> 00:22:24,580
As a matter of fact,
477
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:26,710
if I grow up to be
as good as they are,
478
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,050
I'll be very proud.
479
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,580
How conventionally sweet.
480
00:22:31,980 --> 00:22:33,580
Ooh.
481
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,280
I think we'd all appreciate it
482
00:22:40,310 --> 00:22:43,350
if you left our house now,
Mr. Tedesco.
483
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:46,110
My pleasure.
484
00:22:49,810 --> 00:22:50,780
Whoa.
485
00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:51,780
Nice going, Alex.
486
00:22:51,810 --> 00:22:54,450
You should've punched him.
487
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,950
No, he shouldn't have.
488
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,110
I think you handled
the situation just right.
489
00:22:58,150 --> 00:23:00,610
Look, I know
it wasn't easy for you guys
490
00:23:00,650 --> 00:23:03,050
to invite him over here
for dinner tonight,
491
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,110
and I know you did it for me.
492
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:06,550
Thank you.
493
00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:08,610
The evening didn't end up
the way we thought it would,
494
00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:11,380
but at least nobody got hit.
495
00:23:11,410 --> 00:23:12,850
Alex, you're hard to figure.
496
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,680
Right when I think I know you,
you go and do something nice.
497
00:23:20,210 --> 00:23:23,680
All right.
I'll have the chicken.
32811
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof