Original subtitles

I can't believe we're going to miss our plane to London

because of Mallory.

We're not going to miss the plane.

We're 10 minutes away from the airport,

the flight leaves in 10 minutes.

Well, I hate waiting around airports.

It's not Mallory's fault, Alex, we're late.

We had to wait 45 minutes for you to comb your hair.

Hey, Jennifer, do you mind?

I want to make a good first impression on Europe.

Well, you might as well try them,

it's too late for America.

Flight 316 to Rome is now boarding at Gate 4.

All passengers should now be onboard.

Great, thank you.

Thank you.

All right. Will do. Bye-bye.

Now boarding at Gate 9.

A little further. Here we go. All right...

You want to take the window? Go ahead.

Jen, can you put this up there?

Oh, my God, wait, we can't go to London.

The plane can't take off.

Why? What's the matter?

I forgot to pack my blue dress.

Oh, we can't go.

We can't go. Mom, you tell the pilot,

I'll break it to the other passengers.

Yeah, excuse me, ma'am, I have some bad news...

No, Alex...

Never mind, sorry.

You think you're so hot, Alex,

just 'cause you got one little study scholarship to Ox-blood.

It's not "Ox-blood," Mallory, it's Oxford.

It's one of the most prestigious institutes of higher learning

in the entire world.

Says you.

Shame on you, Steven,

baby pictures out already? We haven't even taken off.

I'm sorry.

Couldn't we have taken him, Elyse?

Honey, he had a cold.

Andrew can't travel with a cold.

It was either leave him at home with my mom,

or cancel the whole trip.

I know, I-I know.

But couldn't we have taken him, Elyse?

Oh, honey, It was just a little cold.

Now, I know you're going miss him,

but it'd be foolish for us

to spend the whole time worrying about him

and pining over him and...

Gee, isn't that a cute one there, huh?

Yeah, with his sled.

You are late.

I'm sorry...

I don't want excuses.

Do you have the film?

You have made this journey very dangerous for me now.

Got my pillow, got my book, got my honey.

I'm all set.

Okay. Just sit back and read.

I won't talk to you. You're on vacation.

I'll... I'll just talk to the person

who sits next to me.

No.

Well, why not?

Because, Elyse, whenever we fly,

you always talk to the person sitting next to you,

and then we wind up spending the entire flight

listening to some boring guy

telling us his whole boring life story.

Hi.

Hello.

What line of work are you in?

On Behalf of British Caledonian Airways,

we would like to welcome you onboard our nonstop flight

to London Airport Gatwick.

We ask you please

to give your attention to the cabin attendants.

I don't know. Who will now demonstrate

the safety features of this aircraft.

The exits are now being pointed out by the cabin crew.

As we are flying over the Atlantic Ocean,

we are required to demonstrate the use of your life jacket,

which is situated under your seat.

Oxygen masks will be presented from the overhead panel

or the seatback in front of you.

So then when Alex won his scholarship to Oxford

we just thought we'd make it a whole big family vacation...

Excuse me, but you can't possibly have a son

old enough to be attending Oxford.

Oh, I, uh, I do.

I don't believe it.

Well, I, uh, I do. It's true.

It can't be.

Well, it is.

That's remarkable.

I got married at a very early age.

I was 11-and-a-half.

Oh, allow me, please.

Is this yours?

Yes, the beige one. Thank you.

I'll get my stuff here.

It's been a lovely journey.

I've enjoyed having you as a seatmate.

The pleasure's been all mine, Mr. Markham, thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Honey, you know, that charming Mr. Markham is so nice,

why don't we ask him to join us in our hotel for dinner?

Oh, Mr. Markham, my wife and I were wondering if you'd like

to drop by our hotel this evening and join us for dinner.

Maybe some other time.

Talking to that guy on the plane.

Flight 461 nonstop to Paris is now arriving at Gate 7.

Well, I guess dinner's out.

All arriving passengers must pass through customs

before boarding connected flights.

I can't wait until we get out and really see London.

Everyone said we'd feel jet-lagged for a few days,

but I feel great. Don't you, Steven?

Ste...

Steven!

He's with me. Honey.

Good morning, honey.

Sir, madam.

Come on, let's go.

Elyse, I love you dearly,

but I resent the fact you don't get jet lag.

Other than that it's a perfect marriage.

It's time for breakfast.

How can we be having breakfast?

It's only 2 in the morning.

Two in the morning in America. We're in England.

It's 8 in the morning here.

You'd think the two countries

would get together on this one simple thing.

What are you having for breakfast, Mal?

I don't know. What are "kippers"?

Cured herring.

What have they been cured of?

Nothing.

Then I don't want any.

Do they have toast in England?

Yeah, I think a boatload just came in this morning.

Alex, you don't have to be so sarcastic, okay?

We're in a foreign country.

We do not know for sure if they have toast here.

Mallory, the United States

was started by people from England,

they had toast before we did.

Oh, yeah? Who invented it.

Alfred Toast.

Okay.

Doesn't seem as though they suspect anything.

We shall have no trouble retrieving the brush from them.

They seem like nice people.

Whether they are nice people or not is irrelevant.

They have what we want and that makes them the enemy.

"Enemy."

Such a strong word, Frederick.

I'm not saying we should go to the theater with them,

but really they're... They're not our enemies.

Why did you become a spy, Luther?

My parents pressured me into it.

I wanted to be an orthodontist.

Okey-dokey, I got the whole day planned out.

Now, I have to be at Oxford at 2:00,

but we can still see all of London's

major tourist attractions

between now and then.

If we follow my carefully constructed plan.

This ought to be good for a laugh.

Okay, now, right now we are here.

No, we're not, Alex, we're here. Yeah.

She's right, honey. We're over there.

Yeah, Alex.

Well, that kinda throws a wrench into the works.

Looks like they're getting ready to leave.

We should make our move.

Right.

What is our move?

To get the brush.

Of course.

How?

Just stay here.

Excuse me, madam.

Would you happen to have a hair brush I could borrow?

A hair brush?

This must be an old English custom, Elyse.

We don't want to offend him.

Lend him your brush.

Of course.

I'm sure I have one. I know I packed an extra one.

Oh, yes, an extra one.

That's my favorite kind.

Yeah, well...

This one must be yours, Mallory, I've never seen it before.

I'm sorry, I-I-I can't find it.

I have a comb.

No, no, it must be a brush.

An extra brush.

I understand.

I'm sorry.

Thank you anyway.

Cheerio.

She claimed she couldn't find it.

I say we stay with them.

You know, I like your hair that way.

Reverse, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, well, that seems simple enough.

Everything's backward,

but that should be easy to get used to.

Okay, just be careful.

Elyse, please, driving a car is driving car.

I think I know what I'm doing.

"Westminster Abbey has been much enlarged

and altered over the centuries. Some additions..."

Alex, are you going to read us the whole history of England?

Somebody has to.

Mom, make him stop.

Oh, kids.

Hey, look.

My God, how much can these people see in one day?

My feet are killing me.

Stop complaining, I'm having a nice time.

You know, you and I, we should do more sightseeing.

You see, Elyse? I knew we'd eventually

get the hang of driving in England.

Of course she can do it, Dad.

This is the side she usually drives on.

Alex. Mallory.

You're driving too fast. Why are you driving so fast?

"During the 12th century

"Oxford became a meeting place for scholars.

"Some theories claim that it was founded by English students

"who had been expelled from the University of Paris in 1167,

while other that it is an..."

Alex. Yeah.

We're here.

Whoa.

All right, now, we're going to find a place to park,

and we'll meet you at your room.

Okay, Mal and I will go with Alex.

No, no-no-no. No.

Why not?

Because, Mal...

Look, my roommate is nobility.

He's a direct descendant of an aristocratic family.

If I make a bad impression on this guy,

he could have be beheaded.

Well, make sure we get invited to it.

Well, you girls stay with us then.

Listen, Mom, uh,

I'm about to meet William Clive-Hopkins,

Lord Cureton.

How do I act in front of a guy like that?

You just be yourself.

My lord.

My lord, I beseech you welcome me,

your humble roommate.

Don't you knock?

Ah, yes.

Forgive me, your lordship.

Lord, it's nice to meet you.

I mean, it's... It's nice to meet you, lord.

I mean, my lord, it's nice to meet you, my lord.

William is my name.

Lord is my title.

Alex is my name.

Keaton is my name, also.

I'm Alex Keaton, the guy from America.

So we're, uh, gonna be roomies, for the next couple weeks, huh?

I suppose the answer to that is, unfortunately, yes.

My bed?

Yes, that's your bed, that's your wardrobe

and that's your desk.

And I guess we share the window.

No, the window's mine.

Fair enough.

Ah, there you are, Alex.

Uh, hi. I'm Elyse Keaton.

Ah, how do you do, Mrs. Keaton.

William Clive-Hopkins.

I'm Steven Keaton, and, uh, this is our daughter, Jennifer.

How do you do. Nice to meet you.

Well, listen, William, uh, we were just going to take Alex

out for a sort of farewell dinner.

Want to join us?

Oh, well, that's very kind of you, but I...

Sorry, Dad, I fell kind of...

behind.

I'd... I'd love to.

I don't know.

I don't feel comfortable eating something called

"blood pudding."

Oh, come on, Jen.

We're in Oxford now.

Get into the culture.

Just think of the the centuries of man's thought, knowledge...

Man's yearning that resides in this city.

It's awe-inspiring.

Yeah.

Someday I'm going to own this town.

That's the spirit.

I ask you for the last time.

What is your real name?

Clifford Markham.

We know for a fact that your name

is neither Clifford nor Cliff.

You are a Communist spy with some ghastly,

unpronounceable, Eastern European moniker.

Isn't that the truth?

I know nothing. Nothing?

Really, perhaps a few facts will refresh your memory.

The Battle of Hastings was fought in 1066.

An atom of hydrogen has one proton and one electron.

Seventy percent of all women enjoy...

Inspector.

All right.

I-I-I know what I'm doing,

I'm just trying to keep him off balance.

Nicely done, sir.

You were recently in the United States.

What were you doing?

I was at a wedding.

Not true.

We know for a fact that you were taking photographs

of sensitive military installations

with this ingenious spy camera.

Oh.

Borrow your hanky.

So are you planning to follow your father's footsteps

and go into the television business, Mallory?

Um, probably not. Maybe fashion design.

Fashion design.

Well, I'm sure you'll be splendid at whatever you do.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Uh, you're welcome too. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Um, so are you going to go into the lord business, or...

Oh, that sounded really silly. I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no. I'm the one who should be sorry.

I didn't mean to laugh.

Forgive me.

To answer your question: yes.

I am going into the lord business.

It's a growth industry.

You see, I really don't have much choice.

My father expects me to follow in his footsteps precisely.

Oxford, the foreign office, House of Lords.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I had to go to Camp Tioga

because that's where my Mom and Dad went.

We know that you had the microfilm

when you boarded the plane.

You didn't have it when you got off the plane.

We've searched the plane and it's not there.

Well, I'm stumped.

Sir.

We've located the plane's seating chart.

Jolly good.

Jolly goo...

Well, now you're beginning to perspire heavily, aren't you?

You realize that you're not dealing with fools.

Do you mind if I...

Please. Thank you very much.

'Cause we know Harding's number one.

And then you just go:

Go-o-o-o Harding.

Well, that is... That's remarkable.

I've never seen anybody do anything like that before.

Really? Really.

Really?

No, never.

And I've never seen anyone quite as beautiful as you,

if I may say so.

You may.

In fact, you may say it again if you want.

Honey, I'm sorry.

Oh, come on, here, let me trade with you.

Bring it all down to me.

I'll wash it and get it back to you.

I'll get the laundry taken care of.

Steven, come on. Okay, well...

Such nice people.

I hate to do this.

Now, you have our number if you need anything.

Call any time day or night.

Mom, please.

A-Actually, Alex, just call during the day.

It's getting awfully cold.

Are you sure you've got enough blankets?

All right, Dad, can you stop her, please?

Come on, darling. Leave Alex alone.

You're embarrassing him in front of his peers.

Well, actually, in this case, his lords.

I am going to miss you so much. I'm going to miss you too, Mom.

You too, lord. Oh, thank you, Mrs. Keaton.

Mom, please, look, thanks for the ride up,

and I'm going to be fine. Okay?

So don't worry about a thing.

I'll try to control my anxiety.

Okay, now, don't forget

what I taught you.

I won't.

'Cause we know Harding, you're number one.

Go-o-o-o-o Harding.

Uh, congratulations, Mal.

You just set Oxford back 500 years.

Go, go, go.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

He stopped sneezing, Ma?

Oh, that's great.

Andrew stopped sneezing.

No problems whatsoever.

Aw, terrific.

He's a fabulous kid, isn't he, Ma?

I... No, I think you can answer that objectively.

I... Listen, uh, what time is it back there?

Four in the morning?

Gee, I hope I didn't wake you.

Oh, all right.

All right. Our love to you too.

Bye.

Everything's good.

Andy's fine.

Your mom sounds a little cranky, though.

I wonder why.

Mom, I can't find my brush.

Oh, I think I have it.

Yeah, here it is.

That's not my brush.

It's not mine.

It's not mine either.

I can hardly lift it. Dad?

I left my brush back home.

I'm having some bristles replaced.

Well, maybe it's Alex's.

I mean, it's just about big enough for his head.

Oh, well, maybe we should

just go down to Oxford and, uh, drop it off.

Elyse, it's only been a day.

He's barely had a chance to get his hair mussed up.

I know, but I miss him.

He's never really been away from home before.

Yeah. We've noticed.

Elyse, I know how you feel,

but, uh, Alex is only 60 miles away.

We can call him every day.

He'll be fine.

Okay. You're right.

I'm sorry.

Just my maternal instinct.

Probably has a whole new group of friends already.

Ah, lads. I don't believe you've met my new roommate,

Alex Keaton.

Alex, I'd like you to meet Michael Avery,

Viscount Withers, and Jonathan Bushing,

the lord of Nevitt. Hi. How are you?

I'm the Alex of Keaton.

I mean, I'm Alex the Keaton.

I mean, how are you doing, fellows?

Oh, hello, sir.

How do you do? Hello, sir.

Keaton is a little nervous.

Oh, no-no-no. No.

It's, uh... This is nothing.

I'm always like this at the start of school.

My first day at college,

I was so nervous I forgot to bring my crayons.

My crayons.

There's really nothing to be nervous about, Keaton.

You're not the first outsider

to come to this institution and have absolutely no hope

of understanding our rules or traditions.

Good.

Good.

Keaton, I believe you will really enjoy this class.

I'm sure I will.

History is one of my strong subjects.

Really? That's splendid.

Professor Hardy is one of great scholars at Oxford,

but there are a few things you should know about him.

Like what?

Well, he's quite deaf,

so when you speak make certain it's loud.

Otherwise, he won't hear a word. Oh.

And if you want to stay on the old man's good side,

sit right at the front of the class.

Most important, ask as many questions as possible.

Hardy admires inquisitive minds.

Uh, thanks very much.

I will.

Think nothing of it.

Today we're discussing

the rebellion of the American colonies.

Uh, don't you mean the American Revolution, sir?

Who are you?

I'm Alex Keaton.

What are you doing here?

Well, I'm a... I'm a visiting student.

Where are you visiting from?

From America.

Why are you screaming at me?

Well, b-because...

Are you Mallory Keaton?

Yeah.

Well, I hope you're not allergic to flowers.

Thanks.

Wow.

I can't believe it.

I wonder who they're from.

They might be from the person who signed the card.

It's from William.

"Night falls on dusk's hopeful moments.

"Open and smiling like a flower.

"Warmth be my companion.

"A tear like morning dew.

Adieu."

I'll be in the bathroom throwing up if you need me.

That's beautiful, Mallory.

What does it mean?

I have no idea.

It's useless.

This brush is empty.

That was my brush.

Sorry, Frederick.

You idiot.

That's the brush we stole from the American girl.

This brush is empty too.

What do we do now?

Now we get serious.

So soon?

Leave it alone.

I can't bear it. It itches.

We need the disguise.

My idea was better.

To dress as bunnies?

Room check?

Towel check?

Take it easy, please.

People are living here.

We're trying to find the brush, Luther.

We're ransacking the room.

We can do it neatly.

Where did you learn to ransack, in a barn?

Hi.

"Dear family, Oxford is great fun and certainly everything

"I dreamed it would be.

"I'll have to play rugby for the first time today.

"They say it's a lot like football,

only there's a greater chance of personal injury."

Well, are you ready, Keaton?

Oh, yes.

Yeah I sure am.

I was, uh, just wondering where the rest of my equipment was.

What equipment?

Well, my equipment.

You know, my shoulder pads,

knee pads, elbow pads. Protection.

Protection? Don't be silly.

We're just going out to play a light spot of rugby.

What could you possibly need protection from?

Man, I'm going to crush you Sunday night.

I got it!

Whoa! Whoa, uh, hold on a minute.

Uh, now... Now, let's just discuss my options here, okay?

Now, when I get the ball...

Whoa!

My goodness.

There's so many different things to see in London.

There is. You know, I'd love to do a documentary of London.

Why don't you do a documentary about a girl, an American girl,

who comes here on vacation,

she never gets to shop in any of the famous stores

she's always dreamed of.

She winds up coming home with just a few sweaters

bought off the rack.

Because it would be too sad.

Come on, Dad. We're not using our time here.

All we've been doing is...

Is visiting museums and castles and places of interest.

You know, we're not having any fun.

We happen to be having a lot of fun.

No, we're not.

Yes, we are.

We're having great fun.

Elyse?

We're having a lot of fun. Yeah-h-h.

Jen, are we having fun? No.

Hey, come on, we're having fun. - See what I mean?

All right, all right.

May... Maybe we should go our separate ways this afternoon.

I mean, we... We do have different priorities.

Well, I think it would be a learning experience for us.

Be back at the hotel by 5:30.

Are you sure you're comfortable with this?

Jennifer.

All right, look, I'll tell you what, girls, if we...

We were having fun.

I was having fun.

We'd better separate.

You stick with the kids.

I'll follow the parents.

Go.

Well?

Do we have to?

I like it when we work as a team.

Okay, okay.

I'm going.

Maybe we could meet for coffee later, huh?

Anything wrong?

No, just...

I have a strange feeling that we're being followed.

Oh, honey, you're just tense. You haven't gotten over

that jet lag yet.

Maybe so.

Think the girls are doing okay?

Oh, I'm sure they're doing fine.

I guess it was a good idea that we separated.

Let 'em see London their own way.

Yeah.

I don't know why people think that English food is not good.

This pizza's great.

I guess they just don't know how to order.

You know, Mallory, I've been thinking.

If you marry Lord William, do I become a princess?

Well, I think you're rushing things a little bit.

Well, Mallory, he really likes you.

I could see it in his royal blue eyes.

I like him too.

He's cute.

So why don't you get married?

'Cause I'm in high school, for one thing.

What happens to Alex if you marry royalty?

Well, he's a twit now.

I suppose he'll become a royal twit.

"Everything is going great.

"The rugby game was so much fun, I thought it would never end.

"Right now I'm eating dinner.

"And I've got plenty of elbow room.

I just hope nobody yells out, 'food fight.'"

Hello.

Hello.

Uh, none of these seats are taken.

Uh, have you finished with the, uh, salt?

Uh, the salt.

Yes, the salt.

Uh, no-no. No. No.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

"A good friend of mine

"just stopped by to borrow some salt.

"We're very close. Well, gotta go.

"The guys insist on buying me a beer,

or, as you say here at Brandstone College, a pint."

Hah. "Cheerio, your son, Alex P. Keaton, Esquire."

Well, I guess I was worried about nothing.

Alex is having a good time.

We're having a good time.

What could be better?

Hey, Viscount.

Hey, Duke. How are you doing?

Say, Keaton, it's almost 2:00.

You're going to be late for Hardy's class.

Hey, don't worry.

I'll be there.

Everything all right, fellow?

Oh, couldn't be better, sir.

Once again the Colonials stormed the fortress at Saratoga

and his Majesty's...

Go ahead, come on. Laugh.

Laugh! This is funny.

You guys think you're a riot.

I'll tell you what you are, you're a bunch of jerks.

You know, I came to Oxford,

because I thought it was going to be someplace special.

A place to learn, a place to grow.

I thought, uh, I was going to be part

of a great intellectual community.

Tradition.

Well, if this is the great tradition,

then I don't want to be a part of it,

because I have pride in myself.

I am a good person.

You people would not know a good person

if he came up and bit you on the nose,

which I am going to do.

In fact, I challenge all of you to a duel.

Not you, sir.

Whoa!

Hey, fellow. Hey, fellow.

Go long.

Sorry.

Keaton.

How's it going?

Well, let's see.

In the past week, I have, uh, almost been run over,

got attacked by a dog, thrown out of a pub,

came within an inch of my life playing rugby,

and, uh, I think I just hospitalized a duck.

It's about average.

You know, it's not as difficult as it all seems.

What are you referring to? Rugby? Classes? Duck?

All of it. Fitting in.

It's really not that difficult.

Well, that's easy for you to say.

See, you're a lord.

I mean, people have to accept you

or they get in trouble with the queen.

I must say, you're standing up very well under the strain.

Your rugby performance the other day,

was especially unique.

Think so?

Absolutely.

I'd never seen a team attack one of its own players before.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had a feeling that was kind of special.

The important thing is you stuck in there.

I admire that.

And I admire what you said before in Hardy's class

wearing only the towel.

Yeah, well, I had a lot more to say,

but it was just getting kind of cold.

I think what I'm trying to say is,

Keaton, I admire you.

You stand up for yourself and, well, you've got a lot of nerve.

You're all right.

Thanks.

I'd like to help if I can. Try and help you to fit in.

What are you going to do, have me knighted?

We've got our big race coming up and we're short a man at crew.

Well, it's summer session.

It's a devil of a job finding someone to fill in.

Why don't you give it a go?

Hey, uh, I don't know that much about crewing.

Then we'd better start work immediately.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

Good rowing today, Keaton.

With hours of practice, years of hard work,

you might just become mediocre one day.

Uh, Lord knows I'm trying, lord.

No, I actually think I may be able to walk again

in about a month.

Really, though, you were very good out there.

You're a natural athlete.

Yeah, I'm... I'm a regular Willie Mays.

Who?

Willie...

Willie Mays. He he was one of the...

One of the greatest baseball players of all time.

At one point every father in America

wanted his son to grow up and be Willie Mays.

Did yours?

Uh, yeah, I think so.

Until, uh, my third year in Little League.

The coach tried to trade me to another team in, uh,

in Japan and he realized it wasn't going to happen.

Was your father very disappointed?

No.

No. See, my dad's not like that.

He... He just enjoyed watching me play.

I mean, I still have the glove he gave me with Willie Mays'

signature on the inside.

You're very close to your father, aren't you.

I envy you that.

Yeah.

That, uh... That was from the fath...

Father-and-son picnic, sophomore year in high school.

Dad was the executive vice chairman

of the Fathers Committee.

Ah.

Which really means he got stuck making hamburgers and hot dogs

for 200 kids.

Two hundred kids. Didn't he mind?

No. No, you see, you've gotta...

Gotta know my dad.

He loves that stuff.

He makes a game out of it.

He used to say he had a secret recipe

and then he'd bring the food out

surrounded by all the other fathers dressed as armed guards.

Can't imagine my dad doing anything like that.

Chef's hat, father-and-son picnic,

or even laughing with me the way your father's

laughing with you here.

I'd just saved his life too.

This is a beautiful spot, isn't it.

Very beautiful, yes.

I can't believe we're sitting here having tea by the Thames.

You know, just 500 years ago they were chopping off heads

a few yards away at the Tower of London.

Afterwards, they probably came down here to unwind.

Mm-hm.

They're good eaters.

I'm getting hungry watching them.

Shut up.

Keep your eyes peeled for the brush.

Well, so far, this vacation has been everything

we could have hoped for.

Elyse, I don't mean to put

a damper on your spirit or anything,

but do you ever get a strange sort of feeling about this trip?

I don't follow. Do you mean about Alex?

No, not about him.

It sounds like he's doing fine.

It's just that there have been a couple of odd,

unexplainable events that have been on my mind.

Like what?

Well, like that man you were talking to on the plane.

The one that attracted half the police in England

when we landed.

Oh, well, we talked about that.

Now I-I admit that was unusual, but...

But we don't know for sure what was going on there.

What could it have been?

He had an overdue library book?

I think we can assume that man was involved in some sort

of serious trouble.

Well, why should we assume it had anything to do with us?

This feeling I've had we're being followed.

Oh, honey, nothing strange is going on.

You're just a little fatigued, a little tired.

Call it jet lag, call it what you will.

So you think I've been imagining these things?

Very likely.

You're a very creative kind of guy.

Nothing strange going on?

No.

Sure?

I'm sure.

Okay.

- Waiter, the check. - Yes, sir.

All right, that was strange.

Thanks very much.

Elyse, we have to face certain facts.

Somehow, some way,

for some reason completely unknown to us,

we have become involved in some bizarre intrigue.

Some weird mystery surrounds us.

I don't like this.

I've never been in a weird mystery before.

And I have?

Sorry.

Something crazy's going on here, Elyse.

No one is to be trusted.

No one is to be believed.

We must check and double check everything and everyone

that comes into our life.

Elyse, I'd like to see some identification, please.

Oh, Steven.

You know, I think the other guys are starting to warm up to me?

Really?

Yeah, yesterday, uh, Jonathan was walking by me and he said,

"Keaton, get out of the way. Move."

Well, it wasn't so much what he said,

it was the way he said it, you know?

Something to build on.

They're actually very nice when you get to know them.

They are, how do you Americans say,

"groovy guys."

No, we Americans don't say "groovy," William.

Only people from California say "groovy,"

and I think they stopped saying it about 10 years ago.

Now only my parents say it.

I've never been to California.

I'd like to see it.

Well, California's a very strange place.

You know, I think it's 'cause the the sun

is shining all the time.

The people are too mellow.

They're too laid back.

It's for people like my sister,

for whom getting a good tan is a religious experience.

You don't like your sister, do you?

No, I like my sister.

I love my sister.

She's a very sweet person.

She's got a good heart.

We just have different goals.

You know, I-I want to be a captain of industry

and she wants to be captain of the pep squad.

I like her too. A lot.

I noticed.

Has she said anything to you about me?

No, but, uh, she likes you.

She does?

Sure.

Well, what makes you think so?

The other day she came up to me an-and asked me if America

was ever going to be a British colony again.

What a strange question.

You must have been surprised.

Yeah.

I didn't know she knew it had been.

May I help you, sir?

Yes, do you have a...?

Oh, I'm sorry. You were here first.

Oh, no, really...

No. No, please. Please, go ahead. I insist.

Ha-ha-have you got any messages for me?

What's your name, sir?

Uh, I'm, uh, Flynn-Davies.

Mr. Flynn-Davies.

I'm sorry, sir.

We don't seem to have you registered as a guest here.

Oh, really?

Very well. Thank you.

What's the matter?

Don't turn around.

Wish you hadn't said that, it makes me want to turn around.

I think we're being followed by that man

that was just here at the desk.

Can I look now?

Okay, you can look now.

Slowly. Ha-ha, don't be obvious.

Just, uh, man over by the fern,

reading the brochure upside-down.

Well?

I'm dizzy.

You see him? Yes.

Did you ever see him before?

No. Neither have I.

Okay, let's try something,

let's just casually stroll over to the door see if he follows.

Sounds like a good idea.

Okay, ready? On your mark, get set, stroll.

Okay, it's official.

We're being followed.

Okay, now, wh-what are we going to do?

Make a break for the elevator.

Well, it works.

Leads right up here. All the steps in place.

Well done.

What?

That's ridiculous.

Uh... Microfilm?

Spies?

I-I don't believe a word of this.

You've got to believe me, Mrs. Keaton.

Somehow, in some way,

Clifford Markham has managed to place

that microfilm in your possession.

How can you be so sure that it's Elyse?

It has got to be her, Mr. Keaton.

I checked all the other passengers. Nothing.

Also, one of my men planted on the plane

reported that Markham was engaged

in animated conversation with an attractive

blonde woman about 25 years old.

Well, that couldn't be... Uh, that sounds like you, dear.

More towels?

Courtesy of the management, sir.

Well, put them in the bathroom, I guess, if you can find room.

Uh, look.

I-I don't mean to be rude, and this is awfully nice,

but even if we were to shower continuously

for the next 10 days,

I don't see how we can use all these towels.

Take some of them home with you, sir.

I can't believe this is happening to us.

I'm afraid it is, Mrs. Keaton.

Somewhere in this room,

somewhere in your possession is the microfilm.

I can sense it.

Would you like me to take that out

and have it cleaned for you, sir?

I beg your pardon?

The brush, shall I have it cleaned for you?

It's a free service of the hotel.

That's my son Alex's brush.

He's up at Oxford.

Oxford?

You're in luck.

That's on the brush delivery route.

What?

Look, guys, I'm sorry,

but I'm going to have to put my foot down here.

No more towels.

You stupid fool!

Well, if you don't like California, Alex,

where do you think you'll end up living?

Ah, a little city in America called New York.

Ah, New York.

Yes, I've heard of it.

Actually, it was named after my uncle.

See, New York. That's... That's my kind of town, you know:

power, action, finance.

They say, walking along Wall Street

on a warm spring day,

if the wind is blowing just right,

you can actually smell

the fragrance of money in the air.

Money is very important to you, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I put money in the same level of importance as oxygen

and a well-balanced diet.

It's one of the few things in life

that's not good in moderation.

Well, what about art and literature,

dance and theatre?

Yeah, I enjoy a good dance as much as the next guy,

but it's a matter of priorities, William.

See, you've already got your title and your money.

So you can relax, you can go to the museum, you can buy art.

I'm going to buy culture too, after I've made my fortune.

I'm sorry to be the one to have to break this to you, Alex,

but I don't think your future lies in finance.

What do you mean?

You have the face of a poet.

Shh, don't say that.

Poets make very little money.

You're going to turn out to be a poet,

I have a very strong feeling about it.

Are you a psychic or something?

No.

Phew.

I was wondering if you and your family would care to join me

this weekend at Randall Hall, our place in the country.

Wow, that sounds, uh, bloody lovely.

Smashing.

Pip pip.

Is that a yes?

You bet.

Your folks can watch you in the big race

and I can watch Mallory.

Well, wait a minute.

You sure there's going to be room for all of us?

Oh, yes. We can probably squeeze you in.

Welcome to Randall Hall.

I'm so glad you could come.

You grace our simple lodgings with your beauty.

- Alex, you look so wonderful. - Thank you.

I don't think he means you, Dad.

Oh.

How do you do. How do you do, sir.

Go-o-o-o-o Harding.

Ooh! Ooh, honey, I didn't mean to startle you.

Honey, you're going to have to try and relax.

You know, ever since you found out that we might be carrying

some sensitive spy photographs you... You've been so tense.

Call me old-fashioned,

but that's the kind of news that happens to tense me up a little.

Oh, Steven.

Elyse, this is not the vacation we signed up for.

Six days, five nights London. Countryside.

A case of foreign intrigue.

Honey, we're here for the whole weekend.

Just try and relax.

Throw that nasty spy stuff out of your pretty little head.

Have a wonderful time

just the two of us.

Surprise.

What are you doing here?

Why are you dressed like that?

What do you mean, "What am I doing here?"

I needed some extra money.

I'm protecting you.

What do you think I was doing here?

Do you really think there's any danger here?

We can't take any chances.

Criminals don't take the weekend off, Mr. Keaton.

Well, I suppose they might sometimes,

if they had tickets for the opera or the ballet,

but as a general rule, crime has no Sabbath.

I was just hoping we could enjoy ourselves this weekend.

This is just a precaution.

My men and I are here in disguise,

ready to act if they should strike again.

If they do, we are ready.

If they don't...

Well, we've had a weekend in the country, haven't we?

You're doing very well.

Hit it that way.

Okay.

Good.

Oh, thanks.

Thank you.

You know, I could get used to this life.

Yeah, it's not hard, is it?

I've completely forgotten about our other life.

I mean, who are we anyway?

I can't believe we're here.

It's like being in a fairy tale.

Hey, Mallory, you could be Cinderella.

What if...? What if William asked you to try on a glass slipper?

Ladies, ladies, please, a little decorum.

You're not in America now.

Sorry, Alex.

Sorry, Alex.

He's the wicked stepmother.

Give me strength, Lord.

Don't give up.

You're doing very well. Oh, I am?

Yes. You have a natural instinct for the game.

Uh, the court's in that direction.

Oh.

Mallory,

you're a complete revelation to me.

Oh, sorry, I don't mean to be.

No, it's wonderful.

You see, everything in my life has been so planned out:

my schooling, my career, even my friends.

And then you came along.

You're the first real surprise I've ever had.

I love surprises.

For the first time in my life, being with you,

I don't feel like Lord Cureton.

I feel like William Clive-Hopkins.

Billy Clive-Hopkins.

Billy's a good name.

I've never been kissed by a prince before.

Frightened I'll turn into a frog?

Ribbit.

Every male member of the Cureton family

has gone to Oxford since 1237.

Yeah, I go to Harding High.

It's eight years old.

Uh, Alex went there and Jen will go there too.

Tradition.

Yeah.

Wow, what are all these?

The names of Oxford men who've died in battle.

They were so young.

Oh, don't be sad, please.

I didn't bring you here to make you sad.

This chapel has always been a very special place for me.

Ever since I was a little boy,

whenever I had a problem or I was depressed,

I'd come here. Sometimes for hours.

Yeah, when I'm depressed I go shopping.

I'd just sit here and I could feel

the history of England in the room.

It would somehow make me feel a part of...

Well, a part of something bigger.

Made my problems seem very small and manageable.

It's nice to have a special place to go.

Do you?

Um, my room, I guess.

I go there when I want to be alone,

or get away from Alex, or just think.

But it doesn't look anything like this, but it's me.

Well, that's why I wanted you to see this,

because in a way, it's me.

I wanted you to like it.

To like me.

I think I'm falling in love with you, Mallory.

How can that be?

I mean, you're Lord Cureton

and I'm Mallory Keaton of Columbus, Ohio.

Maybe that's why.

Earl.

Yes, Alex.

I'd... I'd like to mention one word to you, sir,

if I... If I may.

And what is that?

"Condominium."

I beg your pardon?

You could bulldoze this place down

and put up condominiums, make a killing.

Tear down Randall Hall?

It's been in our family for 400 years.

Well, it's time to move on then, isn't it, sir?

Now, we're talking 600 first class units.

Hot tubs, no kids, no pets.

Ah, this is good.

Ah.

Whoa, Steven!

What happened?

Get... Get the oar.

Can you grab it?

Hey, Mal.

Oh, hi.

Hi. Uh, what can I do for you?

I wanted to take a picture.

You got it.

Where do you want me to stand?

In the hall.

Uh, Mal...

Well, I-I... See, I didn't want to get one of you,

I wanted to get one of the room.

Well, you see, you do it my way, you get me and the room.

It just enhances the picture, that's all.

Well, I'll just come back later.

No. No-no-no. No, uh, go ahead, take your picture.

I'll, uh, get out of the way.

All right, Alex, you win, you can be in the picture.

Kind of a nothing shot without me, huh?

Okay, uh, what kind of speed film are you using there,

what filter have you got on?

Alex, I said you can be in the picture,

you can't boss me around and tell me how to shoot it.

All right, you got it.

You just tell me where to stand.

I'm a pawn in your photograph.

Well, the table's fine.

No, the table's terrible, Mal. Alex.

Alex.

Okay, uh, here we go.

Um, can you be a little bit more natural?

What, more natural than this?

Well, you look like a stuffed walrus.

Mal...

Gotcha. Thanks.

You know what?

What?

I miss you.

I'll bet. No, I do.

I mean, I'm as surprised as you are.

You're my sister.

You're in a foreign country.

I'm worried about you.

Ever think of that?

No.

Sit down.

How's your vacation going?

It's been great.

Yeah?

How are things between you and, uh, William?

Alex...

Well, come on, I don't mean to pry,

but you're my sister, he's my roommate.

Legally I'm entitled to know if you two are getting serious.

William and I are fine.

All right, well, you just let me know

if you need me for anything.

Okay.

Well, how's Oxford?

I mean, is it everything you hoped?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oxford. Oxford is great.

It couldn't be better.

I feel like I was born there.

Like I-I got tea running through my veins.

Well, good. I'm glad you're so comfortable there.

Did William say I wasn't comfortable?

No, he didn't say anything.

He didn't, uh, say anything about me at all?

About me, oh, uh, not fitting in?

Having problems?

No. You sure?

Alex, you may find it hard to believe,

but we do find other things to talk about besides you.

Uh, because the fact is, uh,

it's been kind of tough for me fitting in.

I'm sorry.

I mean, except for William,

the other guys pretty much ignore me.

Well, hang in there.

Things will work out.

You know, for a while there, I actually thought it was me.

You know?

I mean, I don't know if you notice this,

but sometimes I can get a little pushy.

Uh, I hadn't noticed.

Yeah, well, you look up to me.

See, you're blind to my flaws.

Oh, yeah, I guess that's it.

Yeah, you're different that way anyway.

I mean, you get along with people.

You... You're yourself.

You know, people like you right away.

Well, people like you too, Alex.

Not right away.

Well, no, not right away, but they learn to like you.

Yeah, after... After a little while.

Well, not... Not always after a little while.

After... After a long while.

Well, I don't know...

How long till people like me, Mal?

Till they have lived with you for 18 years.

Thanks.

Don't forget lads,

you'll be rowing for the glory of Minerva Hall today,

a tradition of excellence and spirit of competition

that goes back for seven centuries.

Pretty impressive, huh, Mom?

Don't forget to dress warm.

Mom, I'm going to be wearing a uniform.

A T-shirt, shorts.

Carry a jacket.

Don't worry.

Well, we'd better be off.

The race doesn't actually start for another two hours.

Well, we're going to have another cup of tea, pack,

and meet you there.

Splendid.

Good luck, Alex.

Thanks, Dad.

Well, what about it, father?

What about a hug?

Most certainly not.

We have servants to do that.

Thank you, Cummings.

Okey-dokey.

Goodbye. Bye.

Cheerio... Whoa!

Goodbye. Good luck.

Buh-bye!

See you!

This is so frustrating.

We've searched through everything and haven't come up

with that blasted brush.

You should stop drinking so much coffee, Frederick.

It makes you edgy.

You clown.

You think this is all a silly game, don't you?

He's edgy.

Obviously, they have no idea

where the microfilm is being hidden.

We must keep them at the table until they realize the film

is in the brush, and then follow them as they lead us to it.

Yeah.

Oh, no, no. No more, please.

We're stuffed.

But you must.

Your host will be offended. Yeah.

Well, now... Now, these are nice,

the watercress sandwiches with no crusts.

What do you do with all those crusts?

We serve a high tea for pigeons, ma'am.

Well, let's go over it once again, shall we?

Recount, if you will, the series of events

that happened after you arrived here. Anything that happened

that you think is out of the ordinary.

Well, nothing specific. Just this curious sensation

that we're constantly being watched.

Yes, but what else? Any strange event

that you haven't told me about?

W... Now, you know, there was that strange man

that first morning at the hotel.

You know, he came up to me and he wanted to borrow

something.

Yes, yes, t-that's right.

Now, what was it he wanted to borrow, Elyse?

Uh, it was, um...

Brush.

Excuse me.

Brush.

Wait a minute.

I think it was a hairbrush that he wanted to borrow.

Right, right.

Right over there. Put the cart right over there.

You know, t-that's right. That was so odd.

He wanted to borrow my... My hairbrush.

I see.

And then we found that strange-looking brush.

And then Mallory couldn't find her brush.

Then that guy on the motor scooter tried to grab my brush.

If only we could detect some common theme.

A thread to tie it all together.

The brush! The brush!

Sorry, I...

I-I don't follow.

The microfilm must be hidden in the brush.

Gosh, what will they think of next?

Markham must have slipped it into my bag

before he was arrested.

Well, then, here's the ten-pound question:

Where is the brush?

Why is it so quiet in here?

Is this a hospital zone?

Jennifer, where is that brush with the strange-looking handle?

I gave it to Alex.

Alex? Alex?

I thought it was his. I stuck it in his bag.

He took it with him to Oxford for the race.

- Oxford? - Oxford?

It must be quitting time.

Steven! Oh, no!

Hurry!

Come on, Honey!

Quick.

Everybody in.

Come on, now.

Dad, will you slow down? I don't know what you're talking about.

I mean, I... I don't know that brush.

Alex, please, the one with the carved handle.

Find it now.

All right.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it.

You got it? Good.

This is an incredibly ugly brush, by the way.

See if the handle slides.

Hey. It slides. I'm sliding.

Yeah, there's something in here, Dad. It's tiny.

It's film.

It's tiny film.

It's microfilm.

Now... Now, Alex, listen carefully.

Some guys, dressed as footmen,

are on their way right now to get the brush.

D... Dad, have you been at the brandy?

Alex, listen. These men

must not get it.

Do you hear me?

Now, take the brush, go to the police immediately.

We'll meet you there.

Dad. Yeah.

I'm gonna have to come up with another plan.

Our friends the footmen are here.

Hello.

Ah! Don't shoot!

Ah. Ah, don't...

"Don't shoot" is an American expression.

Uh, it's very similar in meaning to, uh, "Hello, how are you?"

Hey, Alex. Hey, Mal. Don't shoot.

Alex, we've only got 15 minutes to get down there.

Father, I'm so sorry you can't stay for the race.

Well, I wish I could, but I've got to get back

for a session at the House of Lords. Good luck.

Oh, get off, William.

Now, this is all your influence, young man.

Good luck. Uh...

Oh.

I say.

Isn't that a beauty.

Never seen one quite like it.

Consider it a gift. What?

Uh, the brush. Take it.

Oh... No, no, no, I insist.

Uh, take it as a token of...

Of Anglo, uh, American friendship.

Uh, take it... Take it to London.

Take it to the House of Lords. Just... Just take it and go.

Come on.

Which way?

You oaf!

This way.

Here's my car. In you go.

Jump!

Whoo! Come on.

Come on!

Come on.

Over there.

All right, keep your hands together.

Row!

Dig deeper!

Dig.

Keep the pace.

Keep the pace.

Hi!

Hi!

Psst, sonny.

Sonny, may we have a word with you?

Come on, hold up. Keep it straight, man.

I can't row... Just get...

Get rowing!

That's it.

Steady.

Alex! Alex! Alex!

The brush! You've got the brush!

The hairbrush! The brush!

The brush! Where is it?

Alex! Come on.

Please, be a good boy.

Give us a minute.

No.

We have to get the brush with the microfilm!

Psst. Sonny!

We'll meet you over there!

Alex! Alex!

Where's the brush! Where's the hair brush?

Hair.

Where's the brush, Alex? Alex, come on!

Luther, row faster.

Hopeless, hopeless. We'll never get the brush.

Keep it coming!

Pull!

Keep it coming!

Deeper!

That's it!

Keep coming! All together! Keep the pace. Pull.

Stroke! Stroke!

Nice going, Alex.

We've won.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Bravo.

Wait a minute, Alex.

Hey, Alex, that was great.

All right, boy, enough fun and games.

Where's the brush? What brush?

I don't what brush you're talking about.

I don't know anything. Brush.

What brush?

The brush with the funny handle.

Mallory. None of your business, okay?

She doesn't know anything about any brush.

Wait, yes, I do, Alex. I know which one you mean.

No, Mallory! She doesn't! She doesn't!

They're talking about a different brush.

They don't... No, Mallory, don't s...

The one you gave to the Earl of Cureton.

Don't say...

The one he took to the House of Lords.

Anything. Get the boy!

G... Mallory.

Way to go, Mal.

Alex!

Mallory!

They're not in there.

Well, where are they, Steven? I mean, where could they be?

I don't know. We'll just have to keep looking.

Alex! STEVEN: Alex!

Alex!

All right, all right. Look, buddy.

We are American citizens.

Now, I demand you stop this car right now and let us out.

No.

Okay. I got a date with a member of the royal family tonight.

And you are not allowing that to take place.

I'm sure that's some sort of crime in this country, isn't it?

Whoa.

Got 'em on the run now, Mal.

Preventing Royal Dating.

It's just a matter of minutes before they surrender to us.

Nothing.

I've checked the dorm. There's no one there.

He checked the dorm. There's no one there.

Psst. Psst.

Hey.

Mr. and Mrs. Keaton.

Excuse me for screaming. I'm over-excited.

Can I help you? No, no.

But I can help you.

I-I wouldn't normally do this.

I mean, it is technically treason,

and I could be shot for it.

But you're such nice people.

I hate to see you aggravated.

W-what is it? What are you talking about?

Who are you?

You don't know me, but I've brought you

a lot of towels in the last ten days,

and you're such a nice family.

It has been a pleasure tailing you.

Alex and Mallory, they're such sweet kids.

Wait. What about Alex and Mallory?

I never really wanted to be a spy, you know.

Orthodonture was always...

What about Alex and Mallory?!

They've been taken to the House of Lords

to find the Earl of Cureton, who has the brush.

Brush. The brush.

Keep in touch.

Built in the year 1275,

the House of Lords is a marvelous example

of English late-Gothic architecture of the period.

The Lords' Robing Room is,

as you might imagine,

the room where the Lords do their robing.

I'm very sorry, but this room is out of bounds for tours.

I'm terribly sorry, my lord, I had no idea.

But you see, these two young Americans

are personal friends of the Earl of Cureton,

and... CURETON: Mallory.

Alex.

That's all right, my dear old friend.

I know these people.

What in heaven's name are you doing here?

We missed you. We were in the neighborhood.

Heh, how nice. How did you do at crew?

We won.

We came in second.

And where is William?

He's coming. He's home.

He's coming. He's home.

Oh, I must go.

Why don't you watch proceedings from the stranger's gallery?

We can't. We will.

Oh.

All right. We have what we came for.

Let's get out of here.

What do we do with these two?

I don't suppose we could continue with the tour?

We'll deal with them later. Let's go.

Coppers.

Go around the back.

Come on, you guys.

Damn the luck. They're everywhere.

Stay where you are.

I'm warning you.

What do we do now?

I'll think of something.

Which way do we...?

Come on, chaps.

Find Lord Cureton's stall,

and hurry.

Honey. Out of the way, quick.

Mallory! Alex!

I beg to differ with you, my lord.

That is your lordship's privilege,

but I submit that your lordship's position

is entirely without foundation.

If we were to eliminate all heavy industry

from London proper,

the per capita tax base would fall like a stone.

And then, I ask,

where should we be?

Precisely where we are at the moment, my lord.

The middle class is leaving London in droves.

They are running, my lord.

They're running from the smokestacks of heavy industry.

I believe Lord Finch

has something to say in support of my claim.

Lord Finch.

Oh, well.

Lord Finch.

Finchie.

A moment, please.

I've lost my notes.

Our quarry, the brazen swine, are dressed up as lords.

They're all through there, sitting down... Good Lord.

Uh, my lord. Oh, hello.

How are you, your grace? Yes.

And we have reason to believe that one of them

has got the brush on his person.

Yeah, but we know what they look like,

so why don't we go in and get them?

We just can't go in there guns blazing, Alex.

This isn't one of your Western shoot-me-ups. No.

This is the House of Lords.

Air pollution is stinky and messy,

and I think I speak for all of us

when I say we do not like air pollution

and we would not have it in our homes.

Air pollution means many things

to many people.

To me it means schmutz,

or as we English say, dirt.

Dirt which is darkening our skies,

darkening our landscapes,

darkening our nights, which are already dark

except in summer.

When you or I look out of our window in the morning,

we want to see birdies, and rabbits,

and the sun, and the blue sky...

Can I have a word with you?

Oh.

Whoa! Ow!

Alex! I've got him.

Honey!

Oh, you get...

You get back!

Get him!

Get him! Get him!

Get him, get him.

Gentlemen. My lord.

As we enter the House of Lords,

I would like to tell you that the tradition of propriety

lives in this building

as nowhere else in all England.

Out of my way!

Stop that man! Stop him!

Watch out.

Sorry.

Alex!

This way, my Lord.

Inspector, come on.

Follow that truck.

This is outrageous behavior.

Mallory.

Come on, Mom. Get him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop that guy.

Whoa.

Alex.

William. ELYSE: Steven.

Wait for me.

Over there. Hey!

I got him!

Steven!

Don't let him get away.

Get away from me.

I'm okay. Go on, Alex.

Go get him. I'm fine.

Steven, are you all right?

Alex. Alex. Come on, come on.

Get him.

Hey! Watch it!

The brush!

I got him, I got him. Oh.

Ah!

Thanks.

Alex. Oh, you've got it.

Ah. Yes.

Congratulations, my lord. Congratulations to you too.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, that's my boy.

Oh. Well done, William, well done.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Old Oxford won't be the same without you, Alex.

Yeah, well, that's true of wherever I leave.

I'm planning on coming to Ohio next summer

to see you and Mallory and Willie Mays.

Uh, Willie doesn't get up there as much as you'd like.

Mallory'll be there.

It's not about lines on the map, is it, Alex?

I mean friendship.

No.

No, I think it'd be crazy to leave our personal lives

to the map makers of the world.

It's about people.

Thanks.

Keaton. Keaton. Ah, before I forget,

your crewmates have something for you.

You're not getting away that easily.

Congratulations. Here you are, William.

This is from us all. It's a blade to remind you

of your time here with us all.

This is great. Thanks.

Congratulations. Thank you.

And I have something I think I'd like you to remember me by.

It's a knight's breastplate

emblazoned with the Cureton crest.

A symbol of bravery.

Well, uh, thank you.

This is, uh...

This... This is...

This is not carry-on luggage.

So how do you feel now?

Great. Thing shave been a little crazy, but, you know,

for the first time, I think I've really begun to relax

and enjoy this vacation.

British Caledonian flight 221 to New York's Kennedy Airport

is now boarding at Gate 12. That's us.

Okay, come on. Come on.

That's us, honey.

Where's your book, honey? Right here.

Ah. Okay.

Yeah, there's five tickets.

- Go on up. - You bet.

Goodbye.

Great. All right. Thanks very much.

Sorry. Excuse me. Oh, I'm sorry, you can't...

But I...

Mallory! Mallory, it's me!

Hi. Hi.

I didn't think you'd make it.

No, certainly I'd make it. Oh.

There was a parade and it was just...

Oh, what does it matter? I got here.

This is the final call...

Oh, that's for me. I'm going to miss you, Mallory.

I'm gonna miss you too.

I don't know... Well, I've never felt about anyone

the way I feel about you. Our time together was so special.

Well, it doesn't have to end.

Well, shall I come and visit you?

Yeah, yeah, come visit me.

I will. I will.

You and Alex and Willie Mays.

Who?

I love you, Mallory.

I love you too.

Oh. Hi.

Okay. Thank you.

Great. There you go, honey.

Comfy?

Perfectly.

Well, I'm kind of glad that seat is empty. Heh.

Oh, me too.

Hello. Hello.

Well, what brings you to America?

Elyse.