Original subtitles

I call it a hit.

- What'll your review say? - Car, sir?

I like it too, so I guess I'll pan it.

That's logical.

My publisher resents Cohan impersonating the president of the United States.

Says our young readers dream of being president.

"I'd rather be right than be president."

Cohan may find out he isn't either one.

I don't see how George does it at his age.

I remember him when he was a little boy.

Congratulations, George, old boy. You did a great job.

- Thanks. Thanks very much. - Congratulations.

- You had him down to a tee. - We're still treading on dangerous ground.

Imitating the president, a lot of people aren't gonna like it.

It's all good, clean fun. Didn't they enjoy it in Boston?

- Never could do anything wrong in Boston. - Ha-ha-ha!

Greatest man in the United States played by the greatest actor.

Nothing wrong with that, especially when the greatest actor is my husband.

- This could be treason. - Don't worry.

I know a dollar-a-year man who'll take care of you.

- A lot would like to shoot actors. - Save these telegrams.

The government needs paper.

You've got a list like who's who here. There's everybody but Hirohito.

- We'll bring him in on a shutter. - Here's mine.

- Won't you read all that cleverness? - What makes you think I didn't?

I didn't know there was that much love left in the entire Western Union codebook.

- Hold that. Thank you. - Uh-oh.

- Don't bother me. - It's from the White House.

- That bothers me. - Here.

You read it, Sam. These aren't my reading glasses. What's it say?

"George M. Cohan, the Alvin Theater, New York.

The president of the U.S. requests that you call upon him...

...at your earliest convenience in regard to a personal matter.

Kindly reply for definite appointment at White House.

Steven T. Early, secretary to the president."

Hmm.

There you are, Sam.

There you are. What did I tell you?

Coming at a time like this, with everything he has on his mind...

...this is not just a casual invitation.

This is important.

- I think we're in trouble. - Don't worry.

They don't telegraph you to come and be shot at sunrise.

He doesn't get up that early.

Besides, I've got a run-of-the-play contract. Fine time to make lame jokes. Hmm.

I'm worried, Sam. I'm really worried.

Halt!

- Yes, sir. What can I do for you? - I've got an appointment.

- And the name, please? - Cohan. George M. Cohan.

All right, sir, if you'll wait just one moment, I'll call.

Sergeant Lewis at the Pennsylvania Avenue gate.

- Good evening, Mr. Cohan. - Good evening.

- We've been expecting you. - Thank you.

Why, your coat's wet. Didn't you come in the car?

No, I walked up from the station.

Washington's a great town to walk in. I always get a kick out of it.

Yes, indeed. Won't you come with me?

I was supposed to be off-duty this evening, Mr. Cohan...

...but when I heard you was coming, I thought...

...I would like to see if you looked the same.

That depends just on when you saw me last.

Well, it must have been 30-some years ago.

I was valet for Mr. Teddy Roosevelt.

He got me a seat up in the gallery.

The play was George Washington, Jr.

And you was just singing and dancing all about the grand old flag.

Mr. Teddy used to sing it in his bathtub.

- It was a good old song in its day. - Yes, sir, it was...

...and it's just as good today as it ever was.

Come in.

Well, hello there.

- How's my double? - Your double isn't any too sure.

Give me time to work on that one.

Why, I was told you knew all the answers.

There was a time when I thought so. Right now, I wish I did.

Yes, so do I. Sit down, Mr. Cohan.

Thanks.

- You know, I'm a little bit nervous. - Heh-heh-heh.

I'm sorry I missed the opening of your show.

Maybe just as well.

Don't worry about it. We understand each other perfectly.

- I think so. - The Herald Tribune says...

...that you make a better president and I'd rather be right than I am.

Don't forget, that's a Republican newspaper.

I can remember you and your family very well. The Four Cohans.

Do you, really, Mr. President? That's a long time ago.

Yes. It was while I was attending school near Boston.

I was a pretty cocky kid those days.

Pretty cocky kid. A regular Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Always carrying a flag in a parade or following one.

- I hope you haven't outgrown the habit. - Not a chance.

That's one thing I always admired about you Irish-Americans.

You carry your love of country like a flag, right out in the open.

It's a great quality.

I inherited that, got that from my father.

He ran away to the Civil War when he was 13.

Proudest kid in the state of Massachusetts.

So you've spent your life telling the other 47 states...

...what a great country it is.

I never thought of it just that way before...

...but I guess that's about the size of it.

And I lost no time, either.

It started with a very funny incident, about 60 years ago.

It was in Providence, Rhode Island, on the Fourth of July.

There weren't so many stars then, in the flag or on the stage...

...but folks knew that more were coming.

They were optimistic, happy and expectant.

The beginning of the Horatio Alger Age.

My father was playing in a variety, breaking in a single.

Nobody was more expectant than he was...

...unless it was my mother.

She was busy right then on a smaller production.

Larry O'Leary is me name

By trade I am a dancing master

There's no one can teach the same

Nor teach it any faster

It's easy, very easy

If you watch every twist, every turn

Keep your eyes upon me And surprised you will be

At the dancing you have yet to learn

Keep your eyes upon me And surprised you will be

At the dancing you have yet to learn

- Any messages come for me? - Not yet.

- Better take a bow, Jerry. - Can't. I gotta leave.

- Watch that water! - Max, I gotta leave.

- I gotta find out what's happening. - Oh, for heaven's sake, Jerry.

Take up Number 3. You're on. Go ahead. Light's up.

- Bye, Sally. - Good luck.

You can't run through the streets in that outfit.

- They'll put you in jail. - Have to catch me first.

Don't forget, Jerry, you're on again at 4:15.

- Don't worry. I'll be back. - These things take hours sometimes.

My wife never held up a show in her life.

Excuse me, can I get through here?

The Irish are at the head of the parade.

- I'm not in the parade. I want to get through. - Not a chance, brother.

You don't say so. We'll get you there in a jiffy!

Here, this'll give you courage. Charge!

Nellie.

Nellie.

- Is she all right? - She's doing fine.

- What is it? - Well, all signs point to its being a boy.

Wait. He just got here and he's sleeping already.

All babies sleep 20 hours a day, Jerry.

That's why most of them never amount to anything.

- What'll we call him? - Oh, I don't know.

- What do you say? - Well, seeing that he arrived...

...on the Fourth of July, what about George Washington Cohan?

Well, it has a nice patriotic ring to it. What do you think?

Oh, the George is fine, but the Washington...

...may be too long for a billboard.

Well, how about a nice short Irish name? Dennis or Michael?

George Michael Cohan. Heh.

Yes, I like that name.

Oh, gosh. I forgot.

Hey! It's a boy!

Oh, Jerry.

Heavenly day, Nellie! He's crying with a brogue.

The first thing I ever had my fist on was the American flag.

I hitched my wagon to 38 stars and 13 stripes.

I was 6 or 7 years old before I realized they weren't celebrating my birthday...

...on the Fourth of July.

Then my folks had a real break...

...when my little sister Josie made her entrance.

She grew to love show business...

...just as she loved everybody and everything.

We toured the kerosene circuit in a tank show...

...called Daniel Boone on the Trail.

Everybody doubled in brass. Dad walloped the bass drum.

For some reason, they teamed me with a donkey.

I was a good Democrat even in those days.

Mother and Josie threw out handbills.

Their smiles would've sold tickets to wooden Indians.

They kept putting new stars on the flag...

...and the Cohans kept rushing out to meet them.

We had jokes to match every cornfield. We sang at every milk station.

Larry O'Leary is me name

By trade, I am a dancing master

There's no one can teach the same

Or teach it

Any faster

It's easy, very easy

If you watch every twist, every turn

Keep your eyes upon me And surprised you will be

At the dancing you have yet to learn

Keep your eyes upon me And surprised you will be

At the dancing you have yet to learn

I was taken by surprise

By a pair of roguish eyes

While strolling through the park one day

We trouped through depression and inflation, the country's growing pains.

Froze in winter and roasted in summer.

But it was a good life.

It's a lucky family that dances together every day.

1891 found our fortunes flat as a pancake.

Then came a bolt from the blue, jobs for the whole family...

...in a show called Peck's Bad Boy.

We opened in Brooklyn. Heh-heh-heh.

The town was known for its spirited audiences even before it had a ball team.

Who keeps hammering on our opening night?

- What are you doing here? - I'm the star, ain't I?

You have the leading part, yes.

That means I'm a star, and there should be a star...

...on my dressing room door. That's the law of the theater.

Yes, Jerry, give the devil his due.

I know, but I'm nervous. I'll go blank. I won't be able to remember a line.

Don't worry, Dad.

If you stick, I'll throw you a line. And you too, mother.

Oh! Thief! Thief! Out! Out!

Why do you do this to me?

It's to jail you're going, me boy!

There, there, there, now. Henry's not really a bad boy.

He's just mischievous, that's all.

Mr. Schults, I think that should take care of the damage. Don't you think?

Henry, I want you to promise the cop and Mr. Schults...

...that from now on you'll always be a good boy.

I'll promise, but I can still lick any kid in town!

- Fine work, Georgie. - I'm proud of you.

- Great, Georgie, great. - Nice going, kid.

- Real piece of acting there, Georgie. - You're going places.

- Boy, he sure rolled them in the aisles. - Thanks.

But what are you all so surprised about?

You could've told during rehearsals that I'd be a sensation.

Listen, there's nothing to this acting business.

I wonder what took me so long to become a star.

Excuse me. Hey, Vance.

Call a rehearsal for 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Jerry, the time has come for George's first spanking.

That's right. I'll hold him while you hit him.

Not me. I don't hit hard enough to make an impression.

I can't do it. He'd think I'm jealous because he got more laughs than I did.

Don't think I'm not, either.

Uh, several gentlemen to see you outside, Mr. Cohan.

Oh.

Gentlemen of the press, I presume?

It's started already. Will you excuse me?

Let's see how tough he is!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ought to be arrested, every one of those hoodlums.

It seems to me you're taking all this very calmly, Jerry Cohan.

Your own son almost murdered in cold blood.

Well, the way I figure, it's a fine tribute to Georgie's acting.

The way he plays the part, every kid will want to take a punch...

...at Peck's bad boy just to see what happens.

What?! Have I got to go through that every night?

Yes. And matinees Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Georgie, those boys did you a great favor...

...and they saved me a lot of trouble.

You know, most actors give their whole lives to their profession, not once scoring a hit.

You're lucky. You're a hit at the age of 13.

I've been in this business a long time and never met a performer...

...who, in the long run, wouldn't rather be a great guy than a great actor.

That is, until I made your acquaintance.

Can't I be both?

Chances are, the way you're going, you won't be either.

If the hoodlums don't get you, a committee of actors will.

Actors are considered a very bad risk by insurance companies.

And any actor with a conceit like yours...

...well, we just couldn't afford the premium.

What your father really means is you're too sensitive.

You're too anxious to make good.

You love the theater too much.

Oh, I know you can improve, if you want to.

Sure, I can. Just watch me.

From now on I'm Peck's bad boy only from 8:30 till 11 in the evening.

- That's a boy, Georgie. - I promise, Mother.

And don't forget Wednesdays and Saturdays, 2:30 till 5.

Yes, sir! And the other 21 and a half hours, I pattern myself after dad.

Heh-heh. Well, you could find a better example...

...but that's the general idea.

Jerry, what do you know. Ed Albee's coming backstage to see you.

- Albee. - That's B.F. Keys' partner!

He's big-time vaudeville. We're in the big time.

He didn't send for us. He's come here to see us.

Maybe it'd be better if I spoke business to him.

Georgie, I thought you said you were going to reform.

I'm sorry.

When he comes in here, I want you to keep quiet.

Look at the condition of this room.

Josie, get the cheap makeup off the table.

Hurry up!

Quick, Georgie!

Get the stuff off that shelf there. That's right.

Hey, Albee'll be right in.

He just stopped at the water cooler.

Jerry, if he offers you a cigar, don't take it.

I'll take it. That'll impress him if he thinks I can smoke.

You get behind that curtain. Hurry up!

I don't want to hear a word out of you. I don't even want to hear you breathe.

Josie, fix the chairs. The other one.

Here, take this. Oh, Jerry.

- Sit down, Nellie. Sit down. - All right.

Come in.

Mr. E.F. Albee.

- Hello, Cohan. - Mr. Albee.

- Meet Mrs. Cohan. - How do you do?

- How do you do? - Sit down.

Thank you.

I saw your show tonight. Not bad.

Have a cigar?

Uh, no, thanks.

Your show is no good for vaudeville...

...but I've seen a lot worse right here in Brooklyn.

We're opening a new theater in Philadelphia...

...the Bijou, on the Fourth of July.

If you can fix up a good vaudeville act, we'll double your present salary...

...give you 10 weeks' guarantee, and third or fourth billing.

- Double our salary? - You'll be with the best in the country.

Vesta Victoria, Eddie Foy, Warren Volk, Charlie Case...

Just a second.

I'm George M. Cohan.

You're opening a theater in Philadelphia on July 4th?

- Yes, that's right. - That's my birthday.

Heh. Well, that isn't why we're opening the theater.

The salary's all right, but how have you got the nerve...

...to offer us third or fourth billing after my performance tonight?

Is this kid in your show?

Am I in the show?!

Who do you think was Peck's bad boy?

Oh, I beg your pardon. I didn't quite recognize you.

You didn't? Then maybe you're not the showman you're cracked up to be.

George!

Well, now, maybe I'm not.

Maybe you're not quite ready for the big time yet.

Mrs. Cohan. Mr. Cohan. Good night.

- Good night. - Uh, Mr. Albee.

- How do you do, Mr. Albee? - Good evening.

- Call you a carriage? - If you will.

Carriage for Mr. Albee!

See what happens because you wouldn't lay a hand on him all these years?

A mother isn't supposed to punish. She just gives her permission.

Have I your permission?

- You certainly have. - Ahem.

Don't you ought to get my permission too, Dad?

Not the hand! He plays the violin.

All right, not on the hand.

Not on the mouth! He has to sing.

All right, not on the mouth. Come here.

Here's one place without any talent!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

- Who were Lewis and Clark, George? - Acrobats?

Look at this swell write-up we got in the clipper.

You'd find us wherever new states sprouted on the prairie.

We played every town in America that had a theater.

Any mail for Mr. Cohan?

No. Your father picked up his mail.

I mean, for Mr. George M. Cohan.

The next 10 years rushed by like a circus train.

Dad seemed content with the sticks, but I was straining at the leash.

Here's your mail, Mr. Cohan.

Oh, thanks. A couple of tickets for the show.

We played stock in Buffalo.

Being versatile, I was playing my mother's father.

Oh, Daddy, he has left me.

All is for the best, my daughter.

In life, we trip, but right ourselves.

I was correct about man's love.

First, he considers his pleasure or his honor or his purse.

And only secondly does he think of the woman he says he loves.

Now I must go life's journey alone...

...and struggle on my weary way to find peace.

Courage, Emily, courage.

Living has taught your father many things.

Among them, to take the bitter with the better.

The road to happiness is paved with heartaches and stones.

- Good luck, Josie. - Thanks, Mom.

They're all yours, sweetheart.

Good luck, honey.

Hey, George, there's a young lady, would like to talk to you.

Show her in.

All right, Miss.

- Mr. Cohan will see you. - Thank you.

He's all yours.

I'm 18. I sing and I dance, and I'm going to New York.

Should I?

Oh, Mr. Cohan, you're so old and so experienced in the theater.

So fatherly.

Do you think it's wise?

I mean, my being 18, singing and dancing, and going to New York?

Well, ahem, that's very wise. I mean, being 18 is very wise.

And as for New York...

...The Four Cohans open there this fall with their new show...

...with a new cyclorama and 2 carloads of scenery.

Really? When are you leaving here?

- Tomorrow night, right after the show. - Oh. I can't leave till Wednesday.

- I graduate from high school Tuesday. - Oh. That's too bad.

Oh, Georgie... Uh, excuse me.

You haven't forgotten we have a date tonight?

Oh, no, no, no. Of course not.

We're going roller-skating.

Roller-skating on a night like this?

Why, there's a moon out.

I'll be ready in five minutes.

Pipperino, isn't she?

- Yes. Is she your daughter? - Oh, I'm not married.

- Your niece, perhaps? - No, she's just a kid with the show.

We've been dating.

Isn't she a little too young for you?

No. She's getting along in years. She's 17.

Well, shall I sing for you?

I know I have talent, even if I am from Buffalo.

Well, we haven't got any piano handy.

Well, I'll dance.

Mm-hm. Ahem.

Well, uh, that's rather old, isn't it?

Everybody's done that. You don't want to be just an imitator, do you?

Oh, no. Here's a step I made up myself.

But on the other hand...

...you don't want to be too original either, do you?

- No. - Well, I tell you what you do.

You sit right here. You sit right here, and I will give you an idea of what I mean.

It may not be much. I'm not the dancer I used to be, but then who is?

Now, watch carefully now.

Oh, no, no!

- Don't you like it? - Oh, but your heart!

My heart is every bit as good as it ever was.

Oh, so fast!

Such excitement, at your age.

Sit down and rest.

Maybe I have overdone it a little.

Oh, look at the perspiration on your brow.

Your wrinkles. What happened to your wrinkles?

Well, I do have to make up older than I actually am, you know.

- How old are you? - Eh...

Not yet 70.

You seem different from when I first came in.

Even your voice sounds younger.

Well, you see, it's a gift I have.

I'm always as young as the people I'm with...

...and you've made me feel very young.

- Very young. Heh-heh-heh. - I'm glad.

Well, now, let's make plans.

Which manager should I take you to see first?

Uh, Klaw and Erlanger?

Good old Abe's a very nice fellow, but maybe a little bit too soon.

Uh, Tony Pastor?

Well, that's better.

Albee, Coster, Beale, and Proctor...

- Oh! - Huh?

- Ooh! - Oh!

Wait a minute, little girl.

You're not gonna let a beard and eyebrows frighten you, are you?

In show business, you'll see a lot of those.

I'm not sure I want to go into show business now.

With your talent and ability?

There are very few around who can sing and dance and act too.

How do you know I can do all those things? You've never seen me.

I don't have to. I can tell a trouper a mile away, right on sight.

I feel as though I've known you for years.

- What's your name? - Mary.

That's a very pretty name, a very pretty name. Now, Mary, you calm down.

Let's have a bite to eat, huh? I always eat after the last show.

- Are you hungry? - Yes.

I've been here since 2:00 this afternoon, trying to get up courage to come backstage.

You must be hungry after seven shows.

We'll have a nice cold bottle and a bird.

What's a cold bottle?

In show business we call that a piece of pie and a glass of milk.

Aren't you going roller-skating with that, tlick-tlick, Pipperino?

Nah, I'm tired of picking her up.

- What's the matter, Mary? - Oh!

Got it.

I was born in Virginia

That's the state that will win ya

If you've got a soul in ya

Ain't no southern frown

In the city of Norfolk

Home of beauties and war talk

- Reckon you'll like it - If you should strike it

That doggone town

Pretty good. There's a contract in my desk already made out.

Go and get it. Say.

If any of the Cohans ask you how you like their act, just tell them it was fair.

I get you.

Reckon you'll like it If you should strike it

That doggone town

Ladies and gentlemen...

...my mother thanks you...

...my father thanks you...

...my sister thanks you...

...and I thank you.

Nice going.

That's tearing them out of their chairs.

All set up for you, boys. Go get them.

Oh, Dad, after the way we went tonight, we're certainly ready for New York.

If we're a hit here, it's a cinch in New York.

- Nice going, kid. - Thanks.

Oh, uh, Mr. Cohan, just a minute.

- Pretty fair act you folks have got. - They seemed to like it.

That's a soft audience. Got any open time?

- Yes, from now on. - I'd like to make you an offer.

- We'd be glad to talk about it. - Fine. Fine. Heh.

You know, they're always a soft audience here on Wednesday. Pushover.

- Oh. Mm-hm. - Did you catch it?

Oh, you were wonderful, George.

- But I don't know. I miss that beard. - Uh-huh.

- Did you get up on that number? - Yes. It's a lovely song, George.

- I've learned it by heart. - Good.

I did it with the orchestra leader, and you do it this show.

He knows your key, and you just follow him for tempo.

There's a notice on the call-board. You can't change your act after the first show.

The manager expects me to sing "The Wedding of the Lily and the Rose."

Who were they applauding out there, the manager or me?

- Now, go on out there and do it. - Oh, George, I can't move.

I can't go out there, not without rehearsal.

What are you worried about?

You're doing a George M. Cohan lyric to a George M. Cohan melody.

Yes, but it's my voice.

A George M. Cohan discovery. Nobody ever had a better start.

There's your introduction. Go on.

Good luck, kid.

When they see it coming All them babies take a chill

Diamonds glistening all around And style enough to kill

Her steady fella broke a dice game Down in Louisville

And buys her chicken every day for lunch "Come seven"

Dreamy eyes that sparkle And she rolls them mighty cute

Colored gentlemen say "That lady certainly is a beaut"

Go broke that she's a hot potato

She's a red-hot radiator

She's the warmest baby in the bunch

Ten consecutive weeks in New York. That's the big time.

When you leave New York, Philadelphia, Boston...

- Let me take a look at that. - Excuse me.

What's going on here? Take your makeup off.

I'll be back in just a minute.

Colored gentlemen say "That lady certainly is a beaut"

Go broke that she's a hot potato She's a red-hot radiator

Hey, Bill. What is this? What's she singing?

Who told her to switch that number?

She's supposed to sing "The Wedding of the Lily and the Rose."

- Now, who told her to switch that number? - I don't know.

You don't know?

Bring down that curtain!

Pull out the houselights as soon as she finishes the chorus.

Give her a chance. See how that song goes.

The song is gone. Pull out the lights.

- No, don't do it. - Who does she think she is?

Who does she think is running this theater? What does she mean by changing her number?

The only reason I put her on was because the dog act got drunk.

- He'll be all right in the morning. - Oh, she was your idea.

- And a very good idea too. - Now I know who got the dog act drunk.

Who, me? Why, I've never been in a saloon in my life.

And style enough to kill

Her steady fella broke a dice game Down in Louisville

Now look at that. Could you ask for anything more than that?

Hmm? Just wait. She's wonderful, I think. Don't you think so?

- Don't do that! - Ha-ha-ha!

Don't do that! Pull out the lights. Pull down that curtain.

She...

Get your props together. You're on next.

Hey, boys, start limbering up. You follow the jugglers.

You get that curtain up. You can't ring down on a George M. Cohan song.

A George M....? Oh, I see.

Oh, it's your song. You wrote it.

You can tell that by the applause.

Now, Mary, go out there and do an encore.

- Do one more chorus, and really do it. - Oh, no. No, you don't.

Young lady, if you're gonna be trying out any junk like that...

...do it on a split-fee time, but you'll not be singing songs like that in my theater.

Now you take a little tip from me: you start packing.

If you've got any squawks, unload them on me. I'm the one that started all this.

Listen, squirt, any more interference on your part and you'll be blacklisted.

You won't even be able to get into a stage door of any theater...

...and what's more, as for those songs of yours...

...they won't even be played on a hurdy-gurdy.

- Are you trying to threaten me? - Oh!

Mary! Mary! Don't pay any attention to him now.

Give me the key to your dressing room.

Drunk or sober, the dog act goes on in the next show.

And look here...

Bring down the curtain!

Cohan, you're fired.

You're canceled! You're washed up!

You and your whole family!

Oh, things were tough.

Well, at least I was in New York.

I had a trunkful of songs and play scripts...

...and a heart full of confidence.

I'm glad I had it.

I'm sorry. I can't use this, Cohan.

Youth needs confidence.

I'd learned my job the hard way, all over the United States.

Guys who had never been past the corner cigar store...

...were saying my stuff was no good.

A kid had to believe in himself to buck that.

Who is the man who will spend Or will even lend?

- Harrigan - That's me

Who is your friend when you find That you need a friend?

- Harrigan - That's me

I'm just as proud of me name, you see As an emperor, czar, or a king could be

Who is the man helps a man Every time he can?

- Harrigan - That's me

- H - A

Double R-I

G-A-N spells Harrigan

Proud of all the Irish blood That's in me

And never a man can say A word against me

- H - A

Double R-I

G-A-N, you see Tlick

Is a name that a shame Never has been connected with

Harrigan That's me

H-A

Double R-I

G-A-N spells Harrigan

Proud of all the Irish blood That's in me

Never a man can say A word against me

H-A

Double R-I

G-A-N, you see

Is a name that a shame Never has been connected with

Harrigan That's me

- Well, what do you think? - I didn't like it. It didn't appeal to me.

What do you mean, you? I'm the senior partner around here.

- I make the decisions. - Well, what did you think?

It didn't appeal to me, either.

Which proves, gentlemen, that you have no ear for music.

He's got no ear for music. I'm the senior partner.

I have a wonderful ear for music.

But what about the libretto? It's a grand story, isn't it?

- I laughed all the way through it. - That's my cue.

If Harold laughs, then I know it isn't funny.

Have Mr. Cohan sing the rest of the score for you.

Maybe you didn't like Harrigan because I haven't got a voice.

Oh, I think you have a lovely voice.

- Don't you think so, Mr. Dietz? - Yes, you have a very nice voice.

In fact, if you'd like a job answering our phone...

Are you or are you not going to produce my play?

If you think I'd put any of my wife's money into that trash, you're crazy.

That's it, Mary. That's enough. They've had their chance.

- Have you an appointment? - Yes. Sam Harris.

I want to see them about this melodrama I have.

We have no time to listen to that junk.

You don't know it, boys, but your days are numbered.

You're making room for the likes of me.

And someday, Mr. Senior Partner, you're gonna come to me and admit you were wrong.

In 20 years of show business, I never once admitted I was wrong.

That's his department.

- And as for your wife's money... - Excuse me. I have an appointment.

- Who are you? - My name's Sam Harris.

I have a melodrama here called Wildflower.

Wildflower.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10.

- Horses. - Oh, and Indians. Uh-oh.

Don't let a couple of Gilberts like that get under your skin.

There's no sense in crying now.

Buffalo is such a beautiful city.

Is that what you're crying about?

It's a beautiful city, but I hate to go back to it.

Don't worry. You won't have to. I'll show them yet.

I'm gonna have my name up and down Broadway...

until I'm as well known as Hood's Sarsaparilla. We'll whip them to a standstill.

- Like Grant took Richmond. - I never really thought of leaving.

We'll make this whole business sit up and holler for help.

That's what we'll do. They'll all hear from us, every one of them.

I'm the senior partner. I'll do the throwing out.

You don't have to throw me out. I know the way.

That's the last time I'll ever bring you a play.

That's my department.

Now I will take it to Klaw and Erlanger. They don't always think of box office.

Thanks.

- Too expensive. - Didn't even read the second act.

Probably the biggest forest fire ever put on the stage.

I think he's a little upset.

Five-thirty. We'd have done eight shows by this time in Buffalo.

The juggler just paid three weeks' back board.

Put him at the head so he doesn't have to reach.

Where shall I put the magician?

Until he's paid, he sits at the foot of the table with the Cohans.

Oh, starvation corner.

And put the goulash at the head of the table and keep everything...

...but the noodles and the maple syrup out of the reach of the Cohans.

Noodles and syrup are just enough to keep them alive.

Anybody who owes me two months' board bill, I just keep alive.

I don't have to wait on them.

- Good evening, Madame. - Good evening, Madame.

Oh, no, no, no.

- From now on, this is your seat. - Oh, thank you.

And you, master magician, you sit over there with the Cohans.

Heh. Madame, someday I hope you will give me the pleasure...

...of sawing you in half.

- Ha-ha-ha! - I just heard today...

...that Hammerstein was bringing over the Scotch actor...

...Harry Lauter, at 2500 bucks a week.

Hammerstein's a great showman. A lot of people have never seen a Scotchman.

- Take some goulash, Mrs. Cohan. - Thank you.

Did you have that appointment with that man about your booking?

Oh, yes, he's going to give work to the act any day now.

What happened to that Boston offer you got?

That was a mighty sweet proposition.

Four weeks guaranteed at $300 a week and top billing.

Well, we didn't take it. See, it just wasn't right.

Any act that lays off as long as you have, any offer's all right.

Butter?

We just thought we'd rest a few more weeks.

Yes, you see, my brother's writing some new material for us...

...and, well, we're just not ready to open.

You're not fooling anybody.

Everybody knows that you and Nellie and Josie can get work anytime, anyplace. Heh.

But nobody wants Georgie.

Sure. He's made trouble in every theater this side of San Francisco.

You can't lay off just because every manager has blackballed Georgie.

His family hasn't blackballed him.

We may have to take hard knocks and make a lot of sacrifices...

...but if they want our act, they'll have to take him too.

We're not breaking up our act or our family. And besides...

All right, all right, let the blackballs fall where they may.

Madame Bartholdi, champagne for everybody!

- If I had it, who would pay for it? - Dietz and Goff.

- They're producing Little Johnny Jones. - Oh, George, really?

When Dietz heard the music, he said to heck with his wife's money, he's gonna use his own.

A second round of champagne on me, if you had any.

Pass that goulash down to this end of the table.

Oh, George.

Think of those billboards.

Book, music and lyrics, all by George M. Cohan.

- Oh, Georgie, I... - Oh, now, take it easy, Josie.

- There's enough water in the goulash now. - Heh-heh-heh.

Oh, uh, Dad, I'm gonna be tied up in rehearsal for the next few months.

Why don't you and mom and Josie take whatever offers in the meantime to fill in.

Well, I hate to see the act split up, George, but if you think so.

Oh, sure. You can play all that stuff around Chicago for Sullivan.

The money's good, and the jumps are short.

It's a good idea. You get tired resting too long.

But it won't be the same going back on the road without you, Georgie.

Why, we'll be like a carriage with only three wheels.

But you will admit I was a bumpy wheel. You'll roll along a whole lot easier without me.

- Oh, no, Georgie. - Oh, but you will.

Is there a part in your play for a bicycle rider?

I used to be known as "Venus on wheels."

Mm-hm. I always knew you weren't a cook.

- How's everything going, George? - Not so good, kid. Not so good.

I've been pounding the pavement so long, my socks have bunions.

- Say, Matt, would you put a head on that? - You bet I will.

The villain says, "I'll tell the girl who you are unless you help me hold up this train.

Think fast. It's due in 10 minutes."

You'll have the audience standing with excitement.

I know, I know. The hero helps him, gets shot in the leg...

...and the girl nurses him back to health.

No, no, no. He gets shot in the arm, Mr. Schwab, not the leg.

- You know what happens next? - I won't be in the theater to find out.

I will be down the street watching a musical comedy.

Before I put $10,000 into a show...

...it must have songs, dances, and a lot of girls.

Mmm! Women, women. Little rose petals.

Now, the big scene is where the hero saves the girl from a burning forest fire.

It won't be terribly expensive, Mr. Schwab. I know where I can get a cheap fire.

You don't need much of a fire, just enough to burn that manuscript.

- Oh, here you are! I've been looking for you. - What?

We gotta go to Dietz and Goff and sign those papers.

- Papers? What papers? - What...? What papers?

You don't want to talk about it in front of Schwab.

You haven't discussed our musical with Schwab?

- Music? - We promised Dietz and Goff.

I haven't said a word about a musical.

Good. Dietz said it's the best musical he's ever read.

Even allowed Goff to agree with him.

When I told him about those 20 ponies and 20 showgirls all coming downstage...

- Ponies and Showgirls? - Just a minute.

- What are you talking about? - Waiter, waiter!

- Check for this table. - No, no, no. That's mine.

Oh, no, no... Well, we won't argue about it.

- Glad to have met you, Mr. Schwab. - That's mine.

- Come on, we can't keep Dietz waiting. - You are a fine guy.

You have girls up your sleeve.

You have ponies and showgirls, and you don't tell me about it?

- What...? What's it about? - We gave our word to Dietz.

No time for details. It's about Todd Sloan in London.

- The famous jockey. - Yeah. Come on, partner.

Jockey? Jockey sounds swell. Just my luck to miss out on it.

Mmm. Well, good luck, boys.

Oh, uh, you forgot your manuscript.

Before we sign with Dietz and Goff, I made some change in the lyric...

- ..of "Yankee Doodle." - "Yankee Doodle"?

- It was perfect the way it was. - Oh, you're gonna like this.

- Gives the number added value. Watch... - May I...? May I listen a little?

- Well, think we should? - I don't know.

- If you promise to be quiet. - I promise. I promise.

All right. Come on. There's a piano in the private room.

"Yankee Doodle."

"Yankee Doodle."

Uh-huh. "Yankee Doodle Candy."

Dandy. "Yankee Doodle Dandy."

"Yankee Doodle Candy."

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

Yankee Doodle Do or die

A real live nephew Of my Uncle Sam

Born on the Fourth of July

I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

She's my Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies

I am that Yankee Doodle boy

I have heard enough.

I will never forgive you for trying to palm off a forest fire on me...

...when you had that musical all the time.

Yes, but we gave our word to Dietz.

I can't understand it.

Why is Dietz's wife's money better than my wife's money?

Why?

Must you give it to Dietz and Goff?

- Must you give it? - Well, I don't know.

I like Dietz, but I'm not too fond of Goff.

I'm crazy about Goff, but I haven't got any use for Dietz.

Gentlemen, you are in perfect agreement.

I will give you a check to bind the deal.

Here.

Thank you. What's your partner's name?

I don't know.

What's my partner's name? Ha-ha-ha!

Well, don't toy with the kid at a time like this.

Tell him. George M. Cohan.

George M. Cohan. C-O-H-A-N.

And what is my junior partner's name?

Sam H. Harris. Shake.

- Hello. What should I write? - Uh, Cohan and Harris.

Cohan.

- Mm-hm. - And Harris.

I'm the kid that's all the candy I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

I'm glad I am

So's Uncle Sam

I'm a real-life Yankee Doodle Made my name on fame and boodle

Just as Mr. Doodle did By riding on a pony

I love to listen to the Dixie strain I long to see the girl I left behind me

That ain't a josh She's a Yankee, by gosh

O say can you see

Anything about a Yankee That's awful neat

Little Johnny Jones A jockey from the U.S.A.

Will ride the pony, Yankee Doodle English derby day

Jones has broken records Every track at every meet

So Yankee Doodle's gonna be The boy they have to beat

Sergeant of the British Isles Who followed his career

Have offered Johnny anything To keep him over here

But all the money in the Bank of England Couldn't pay

Enough to keep young Johnny Jones Away from old Broadway

If you want to take a trip The surest of sure things

Have your houses mortgaged Hock your watches, pawn your rings

And put it all on Yankee Doodle Johnny Jones is up

I'm gonna give America The English derby cup

He's gonna give America The English derby cup

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

Yankee Doodle Do or die

A real live nephew Of my Uncle Sam

Born on the Fourth of July

I've got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

She's my Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies

I am that Yankee Doodle boy

He's a Yankee Doodle Dandy

A Yankee Doodle Do or die

A real live nephew of his Uncle Sam

Born on the Fourth of July

He's got a Yankee Doodle sweetheart

She's his Yankee Doodle joy

Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies

He is a Yankee Doodle boy

Yankee Doodle came to London Just to ride the ponies

He is a Yankee Doodle boy

Good luck, Johnny Success to you

All the best of the best to you

We'll make our bets And leave the rest to you

Because you've got What it takes to win

There they are, going to the post All in good condition

That's Yankee Doodle on the end A wonderful position

Look at him rear, he's broken line He's simply wild to run

Now they're back in line again There's the starting gun

They're off Come on, Yankee Doodle

We have bet the whole caboodle on you Run, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up

Yankee takes the lead

Break away there Show them how to earn their hay there

How to run, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up Show a little speed

At the quarter, he's gaining At the turn now, he's reining his horse

Go, go, go, don't hold him back Let him go

At the half mark, he's cruising But seems to be losing his lead

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up You simply have to win

He'll never win, he'll never win The other nags are closing in

- He's gone to third from second place - Looks like he's thrown the race

They've got him in a pocket He can't get in the clear

They're in the stretch, here they come He's falling to the rear

He's lost the race, but it's a frame

We'll find the blighter who's to blame And clear the name of Little Johnny Jones

Aw!

Well, that's it, ladies and gentlemen, it's all over.

Yankee Doodle let them down.

So they'll either pasture him in clover...

...or have him hauling rubbish in London Town.

Good-bye, Johnny

We're through with you

We'll have nothing to do with you

You've been dishonest.

And we find that you'll be suspended for throwing the race.

I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Yankee Doodle, do or die.

Yankee Doodle came to London.

Just to ride the ponies.

I am that Yankee Doodle boy.

For he was that Yankee Doodle

Boy

Women, women. Little rose petals.

Wonderful. You've got them eating right out of your hand.

- My congratulations. - Thanks, Sam.

As long as those critics don't eat off my leg.

Don't worry about the critics. You got a smash hit. It's in the air.

You can't stop anything that's in the air.

All aboard

We'll soon be sailing for

The city of old New York

Broadway nights A million dancing lights

Thrilling sights everywhere you walk

London Town We're bidding you adieu

Gee, we hate to say good-bye to you

All aboard

Good-bye to London Town

Hello to old Broadway

All right, on the boat.

Now, remember, Jones, watch for the skyrocket.

If it goes off, you'll know that I've obtained certain papers from Ansty's cabin...

...that'll prove you innocent of throwing the English derby.

It'll mean complete vindication.

So stick here on the pier and watch for the skyrocket.

Thanks, pal. I'll be watching.

Good-bye, Johnny. And don't worry, we still believe in you.

Thanks, kid. That'll help a lot.

- Good-bye. - Bye.

Give my regards

To Broadway

Remember me to Herald Square

Tell all the gang At 42nd Street

That I will soon be there

Whisper of how I am yearning

To mingle with that old-time throng

Give my regards

To old Broadway And say that I'll be there ere long

We'll give your regards to Broadway

Remember you to Herald Square

We'll tell all the gang At 42nd Street

That you will soon be there

We'll whisper of how you're yearning

To mingle with the old-time throng

We'll give your regards

To old Broadway

And say that you'll be there ere long

We'll whisper of how you're yearning

To mingle with the old-time throng

We'll give your regards

To old Broadway

And say that you'll be there ere long

Ha-ha!

We'll whisper of how you're yearning

To mingle with the old-time throng

We'll give your regards To old Broadway

And say that you'll be there ere long

That was your department.

Is it the robin that heralds the first breath of spring?

How can you think of robins in the spring when we're freezing to death in Illinois?

Hey, Jerry, did you see the way they're billing you in Waukegan?

Come here. Look at that. Funny, isn't it'?

"Jerry, Nellie, and Josie Cohan...

...the family of George M. Cohan, the new Broadway sensation."

Hey, the kid's doing all right, isn't he?

Look at that.

Well, that's true. He is the biggest thing on Broadway.

Yeah, I know, but it ain't right. We'll build our own reputation.

We'll be billed as we should be: The Three Cohans.

All right, no need to get excited.

Don't think I'm jealous of Georgie's success...

...even though I am a better actor.

Of course you're not jealous. Everybody knows that.

Oh, there'll be no stopping George.

All he needs is a little more experience, and he'll be a genius.

He mustn't know I'm better. It might interfere with him becoming a genius.

Still, it does look a little funny: George being the toast of Broadway...

...and you folks gathering a few crumbs in the tank towns.

- Is either of you fellas Jerry Cohan? - I am.

It's from George.

"Impossible to find three clever actors named Cohan...

...for my new show anywhere in New York.

Return immediately for rehearsals."

- What'd I tell you? - The four of us back together again...

...and on Broadway!

Oh, you wonderful girl

What a wonderful girl you are

You made the world appear to me

Near to me, dear to me

Blue skies, gray skies

Main Street or Broadway skies

Under December or May skies

I'll be true to you

Everybody's going to the barber's ball

There ain't a-gonna be any sleep at all

Until the stars are gone Until the break of dawn

We're going to dance At the barber's ball

Even in the kitchen, you sound like a tetrazzini.

Heh. In Buffalo, they say I have a nice little voice.

Yeah. A lot they know in Buffalo. In Buffalo they thought I was an old man.

Well, how do you like your part so far?

Oh, I like it. I like it because it's small.

I'd be afraid to try anything bigger.

You've got something on the leading lady. You got the best song.

Here it is. It's finished. Come on.

- What about the lyrics? - Gonna give it to you now.

Sit down and give me a pickup.

My mother's name was Mary.

She was so good and true.

Because her name was Mary...

...she called me Mary too.

She wasn't gay or airy...

...but plain as she could be.

I'd hate to meet a Mary...

...who called herself Marie.

For it is Mary...

...Mary...

...plain as any name can be.

But with propriety...

...society...

...will say, "Hm-hm. Marie."

But it was Mary...

...Mary...

...long before the fashions came.

And there is something there...

...that sounds so square...

...it's a grand old name.

For it is Mary

Mary

Plain as any name can be

But with propriety

Society will say, "Marie"

But it was Mary

Mary

Long before the fashions came

And there is something there

That sounds so square

It's a grand old name

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Gee, I never cared much for my name before. It was kind of common.

Gee, there are millions of Marys around, but now...

But I didn't write it for the millions of Marys.

I wrote it for one particular, very special Mary.

Gee, it's a wonderful feeling having your name written to music.

- And not bad music, either, huh? - Nope, it isn't.

But how will everybody know that I'm the Mary?

I want to make sure that everybody knows it was written for me.

They'll know, all right.

When they look at you singing that song and then look at me looking at you...

- ...they'll know. - Oh, George.

Take that up an octave.

- George. - Better.

Excuse me for butting in. I've been looking all over town for you.

Strange that I should find you here. Hello, Mary.

Mr. Harris, George has just written a new song for me to sing in his show.

- Think I can do it? - Of course. You've got a nice little voice.

That is not a little voice, and you need an ear trumpet.

Come on, we've gotta get off to the Lyceum. We've got to see Fay Templeton.

- What does she want to see us about? - She doesn't. We want to see her.

You need a leading lady. You've got your ingenue.

- George. - Hmm, Fay Templeton. That's not bad.

She can do four years for us.

- Think she'll take it? - I don't know.

- At least you can get her autograph. - Or for her to get mine.

Bring her back to supper after the show.

I will if she's still speaking to us.

Would you like to buy it? Thank you.

There's one thing in our favor. Erlanger's on our side.

- He's got influence with Miss Templeton. - You talk to him, and I'll tackle Templeton.

You don't tackle a star like Miss Templeton.

- You approach her and very tactfully too. - Well, if it's tact that does it, it's done.

If you get me in to see Miss Templeton, I'll get you two passes to my next show.

Dan, look. Dietz. Looks naked without Goff.

Heh. Yeah. Where's Miss Templeton's dressing room'?

- Upstairs. - I tell you what I'm going to do.

I'm gonna see to it that Miss Templeton gets your flowers.

My respects to Mrs. Dietz.

Now, that was a very sweet gesture.

But you've got to remember, Fay, we're having a tough time...

...lining up a vehicle for you.

Now, you should listen to this man.

- He's just written a big hit. - One hit.

He may be a flash in the pan for all we know.

And I heard about Little Johnny Jones.

And I read the critics... Pfft.

...Of all the loud, vulgar flag-waving.

Well, it was a wow. I haven't laughed so much in years.

The fellow's got the golden touch.

Maybe so, but not for me, Mr. Erlanger.

What I want is a quiet, dignified musical play.

I want to perform in a theater, not a boiler factory.

Come in.

- Hello, Harris. How are you, Cohan? - Hello, Abe.

Everything's all right. You'll see.

Oh, uh, Fay, uh, may I present Mr. Harris.

- How do you do? - And, uh, Fay, this is Mr. Cohan.

- George M. Cohan. - How do you do?

We were just talking about you, George. Miss Templeton's never seen your work.

Hmm. Been sick or in Europe?

No. I've been right here on this stage for two years.

Oh, buried.

Oh, uh, don't misunderstand me, Miss Templeton. I, uh...

Well, I've never been at a loss for words before...

...but right now standing here in your presence, why, I hardly...

Well, I'd prefer to have these flowers speak for me.

- Why, Mr. Cohan, how sweet of you. - Oh, it was nothing at all.

Excuse me for breaking in on you like this, Miss Templeton...

...but I would like to present my own flowers my own way.

- But, Mr. Cohan, I thought... Is he? - Drunk.

May I have the honor of supping with you at Rex's tonight after the show...

...and drinking champagne out of your...

- Pardon me.... slipper? - Excuse me, Mr. Dietz.

Haven't you forgotten that your junior partner, Goff, does all the drinking?

Yes, but on special occasions, I take over...

May I put these in water for you?

- Well, really, I... - I never saw Dietz drunk before.

Heh-heh. Well, uh, shall we get down to business?

If you like, Abe.

Well, George, how would you like to do a play...

...with one of the biggest stars in America?

- What do you think I've been doing? - Heh. Yes.

You see what I mean, Fay? Heh-heh. Isn't he a card?

Positively a riot.

Yes, well, George, what's your new story like?

That is, I mean, can you write a play without a flag?

Miss Templeton, I can write a play without anything except a pencil.

- Laugh. Now, look... - There's really no use discussing anything.

I would never please the sort of people who revel in your antics and fireworks.

Oh, you're just being modest, Miss Templeton.

If you'd let yourself go, you'd be just as noisy and entertaining as the rest of us.

You might even have fun yourself.

Abe, isn't it about time for the curtain to go up?

Look, if you haven't got time now, maybe a few minutes after the show.

I'm sorry. After the show I'm going home to New Rochelle.

It's only 45 minutes from here...

...but it's like a thousand miles from all the noisy, neurotic people...

...one has to associate with in our profession.

Now, Miss Templeton, you can't...

- Fay, I warned you. - That tact of yours. That wonderful tact.

What are you thinking about?

Well, have you thought it over, Fay?

I'm not interested in Mr. Cohan or his plays.

Now you're making a great mistake, Fay.

He's the most original thing that ever hit Broadway. You know why?

Because he's the whole darn country squeezed into one pair of pants.

His writing, his song, why, even his walk and his talk...

...they all touch something way down here in people.

Now, don't ask me why it is, but it happens every time the curtain goes up.

It's pure magic.

I'm bored by magic. I know his formula.

A fresh, young sprout gets rich between 8:30 and 11 p.m.

Yes, that's just it, Fay.

George M. Cohan has invented the success story.

And every American loves it because it happens to be his own private dream.

He's found the mainspring in the antique clock.

Ambition, pride, patriotism.

That's why they call him the Yankee Doodle boy.

Now, if you'll take a tip from me, Fay, you'll do just what I'm doing.

You'll hitch your wagon to his star right now.

Abe, I've got to change for the second act.

Now, Fay, don't make up your mind too quickly.

Take a little time. Think it over.

Who's locked my door?

- Who is it? - What's going on here?

He'll be through in a minute.

Excuse me. I beg your pardon. I didn't realize who you were. Come in.

- May I? - Why, of course.

What does this mean?

Would you mind telling me why you're still here?

Well, here it is, ready and dedicated to you.

- What? - Well, uh, when you made that exit speech...

...you said you lived only 45 minutes away.

That struck me as being a perfect title for a show and for a song.

During the first act, you've written this new song?

Strange surrounding. It took me longer.

He's worked so hard. The least you could do is hear it.

- Yeah, it'll only take a minute, won't it? - Depends on the encores. Heh.

Well, you certainly are persistent. All right, go ahead.

- Mind if I change? - Oh, thank you.

That's wonderful of you. Thank you very, very much. Go ahead, George. Play it.

Only 45 minutes from Broadway

Think of the changes it brings

For the short time it takes What a difference it makes

In the ways of the people and things

Oh, what a fine bunch of Reubens

Oh, what a jay atmosphere

They have whiskers like hay And imagine Broadway

Only 45 minutes from here

Only 45 minutes

That's good. It's rather different.

- You liked it, Miss Templeton? - Ah!

Excuse me. That's only a chorus number.

He's got one number called "Mary" that's perfect for you.

- She doesn't sing that. - She is gonna sing it.

- No, no, no. - Shut up.

It's the best thing he's ever done.

"Mary," hmm?

This looks very interesting.

It's only a so-so number.

If it's as good as "45 Minutes from Broadway"...

- Well, it isn't, and besides, you... - What do you want to do, spoil everything?

- I can't let her have that. - What difference does it make?

- She's gonna sing it. She will. - But she can't sing it.

With Abe's money and your brains, we'll be able to make a million.

Shh!

For it is Mary

Mary

Society will say

"Marie"

But it was Mary

Mary

Long before the fashions came

Come in.

Oh! A little early for Christmas, isn't it?

Well, I was just passing the flowers, and they threw in the candy.

George, I'm sure our song will live forever.

I've been playing it ever since you left, and the neighbors haven't complained once.

What happened with Fay Templeton?

Oh, she's dying to play the part. But I haven't made up my mind yet.

Mmm. Ham or bacon?

- Bacon. - Good. Ham makes me self-conscious.

You're hesitating about having Fay Templeton in your show?

You know how those big stars are. Temperamental and hard to get along with.

Asking impossible terms and conditions.

- I'll take my coffee black. - You ought to give in to her.

But, darling, no matter what she asks?

- No matter what she asks. - Why are you so concerned for Templeton?

Oh, I don't care for Templeton. I'm looking out for you.

Think what it means for you to have a star like Templeton in your show.

Mm-hm. Always worried about me, aren't you? Ever think about yourself?

Not much lately. Haven't had time.

The minute I saw you without your beard...

...I knew here was a little boy who needed looking after...

- ...so I gave myself the job. - Mm-hm.

There are a lot of singers, you know, but very few really good looker-afters.

Mm-hm.

Darling, how would you like a lifetime job of looking after?

Leading lady, run of the play...

...maybe a few heartaches after the curtain goes up...

...but I can guarantee you some laughs.

How does it sound?

I think I might like it, Mr. Cohan.

Could I, uh, see some of the script?

Mm-hm.

Hmm.

Not bad for a first reading.

The coffee's boiling over.

Darling, there's something I forgot to tell you.

- Yes, dear? - Uh, I gave your song to Templeton tonight.

Mm-hm.

Darling, did you hear me? I, uh...

I gave your song to Fay Templeton tonight.

Yes, I know. I knew you did, dear, when you brought the candy and flowers.

My mother's name was Mary

She was so good and true

Because her name was Mary

She calls me Mary too

She wasn't gay or airy

But plain as she could be

I'd hate to meet a Mary

Who calls herself Marie

For it was Mary

Mary

Plain as any name can be

But with propriety

Society will say, "Marie"

For it was Mary

Mary

Long before the fashions came

And there is something there

That sounds so square

It's a wonderful song, George, best you've ever done. It'll live for years.

Thanks, Sam. But I still think Mary should have sung it.

Oh, that's all right. Fay has the song, but I have the author.

And there is something there

That sounds so square

It's a grand

Old

Name

Only 45 minutes from Broadway

Think of the changes it brings

For the short time it takes What a difference it makes

In the ways of the people and things

Oh, and things

Oh, what a fine bunch of Reubens

Oh, what a jay atmosphere

They have whiskers like hay

And imagine Broadway Only 45 minutes from here

It's awfully nice of all you boys To see me to the train

So long, Mary

I didn't think you'd care If you should never see me again

You're wrong, Mary

This reminds me of my family

On the day I left Schenectady

To the depot Then they came with me

I seem to hear them say

"So long, Mary"

Mary, we will miss you so

"So long, Mary"

How we hate to see you go

"And we'll all be longing for you, Mary

While you roam"

So long, Mary

Don't forget to come back home

So long, Mary

Oh, oh, oh, oh

How we hate to see you go

So long, Mary

Don't forget to come back home

And we'll all be longing for you, Mary

While you're gone

So long, Mary

Don't forget

To come back

Home

Look at Cohan. He's got them lined up at the box office.

I've never seen the guy. Got his name all over the place. Look at that.

"Cohan and Harris present George Washington, Jr.

Starring the author and composer, George M. Cohan."

I wonder what the M is for. Oh, modesty.

- Hello, Mr. Foy. - How are you?

- Enjoyed your show last night. - Thank you.

You always appear in the kind of stuff I like.

Thank you. That's very nice of you.

"George M. Cohan and his royal family.

Books and lyrics, music, and direction by George M. Cohan.

Printed by Sam Divensky."

That must be Cohan's alias.

Certainly keeps himself in billing, this George M. Cohan.

Don't memorize that one. There's plenty all over town.

I'd like to forget it. Say, listen, you connected with this turkey?

Turkey? I hear it's pretty good.

It's a malicious rumor to gyp the public.

Who is this guy Cohan? Where is he from? What is he, an upstart?

Oh, he's been through the mill. Small-time and big-time vaudeville, rep shows.

- Even followed dog acts. - Must have looked like an encore.

- Say, uh, is he as good as Foy? - Who?

Foy, Foy, Eddie Foy.

Oh, pardon me.

Pardon me, I didn't quite catch the name. Would you mind spraying it again?

Eddie Foy.

The star that's got the big show down the street with a chorus of 70.

Why, I thought they looked a little younger than that.

I hear now that Cohan's in town, Foy's gonna retire.

Foy won't retire till he's 90.

Is it gonna take him that long to discover he has no talent?

They tell me when he tries to sing, the orchestra puts up umbrellas.

Tries to sing? Why, he's a genius. He keeps his audience glued to the seats.

That's one way of keeping them in the theater. Cohan does it with talent. Look.

Produces his own plays, writes his own books, lyrics and music, plays the leads...

- ...and is a great dancer. - He dances, eh?

When does he get time to practice?

When you write your own plays, you don't have to. Cohan's done all right.

He's given the world "Yankee Doodle Dandy." What's Foy done for his country?

He gave them seven kids.

- Does he dance? - One of the best.

When does he get time to practice?

Say, listen, young fella, my name's Eddie Foy.

I know it. I'm George M. Cohan.

Oh, so you're Cohan?

Well, if I said anything accidental to make you mad...

...I want you to know I'm darn glad I did.

I don't blame you. I'd feel the same way if I were up against Cohan.

- What do like to drink? - Oh, moxie.

I can supply it. The attraction inside is a whole lot bigger than I am.

Come and see when your show closes.

There's a feeling comes a-stealing And it sets my brain a-reeling

When I listen to the music Of a military band

Every tune like "Yankee Doodle" Simply sets me off my noodle

It's that patriotic something That no one can understand

Way down south in the land of cotton

Melody untiring

It's so inspiring

Hurrah, hurrah We joined the jubilee

And that's going some For the Yankees, by gum

Red, white and blue I am for you

Honest, you're a grand old flag

You're a grand old flag You're a high-flying flag

And forever in peace may you wave

You're the emblem of

The land I love

The home of the free and the brave

Every heart beats true Under red, white and blue

Where there's never a boast or brag

But should old acquaintance be forgot

Keep your eye on that grand old flag

Rally round the flag Let us rally round the flag

We took the red from the flame of dawn...

...the dawn of a new nation.

And the white was the white of the snow at Valley Forge.

The blue was the blue of the free, open sky...

...and the stars were the 13 sisters by the sea...

...who built their home and called it liberty.

To symbolize the spirit

Right!

The spirit of freedom

Right again!

The spirit that gave birth to American

Democracy

That's the spirit!

You're a grand old flag

What a grand old flag

Glory, glory, hallelujah

Glory, glory, hallelujah

Glory, glory, hallelujah

His truth goes marching on

And that government...

...of the people...

...by the people...

...for the people, shall not perish...

...from the earth.

When Johnny comes marching home again

Hurrah, hurrah

We'll give him a hearty welcome then

Hurrah, hurrah

The men will cheer The boys will shout

The ladies, they will all turn out

And we'll all feel gay When Johnny comes marching home

We're one for all and all for one

Behind the man Behind the gun

And now that we're in it We're going to win it

We can't lose a minute There's work to be done

We're with them We're with them

United we stand In peace and war

We're with them We're with them

We'll fight as we did before

My country 'tis of thee

Sweet land of liberty

Of thee we sing

You're a grand old flag You're a high-flying flag

And forever in peace may you wave

You're the emblem of The land I love

The home of the free and the brave

Every heart beats true Under red, white and blue

Where there's never a boast or brag

But should old acquaintance be forgot

Keep your eye on the grand old flag

Should old acquaintance be forgot

Keep your eye on the grand

Old

Flag

Like the wandering minstrel

I have slouched along the way

Wandering day by day

No selection of direction

Till I heard a lovely voice

Which seemed to softly say

Come along with me

Come along with me away

May I have your autograph, Mr. Cohan?

To what do you attribute your continued success, Mr. Cohan?

Oh, I'm an ordinary guy who knows what ordinary guys like to see.

Front row center, the greatest show on earth, the people.

To the people. God bless them.

Here, chick, chick, chick.

- Here, chick, chick, chick. - Heh.

Oh, it's such fun, Mother, having cows and chickens.

And everything's running so smoothly.

Well, it's always been a dream of ours, Mary.

We kept hoping for 20 years that it might come true someday.

Imagine knowing how to feed chickens or how much to feed them.

And you're a farmer only three weeks.

Jerry and I have seen a lot of chickens in train windows...

...and we always wanted to raise some of our own.

You know, watch them hatch and feed them and eat them.

If we only could. They're so pretty.

- Georgie? - Yeah?

- What'd you get Dad for his birthday? - Oh, nothing much. Just a smoking jacket.

Is it bright? Lots of color? I mean, will he like it?

Well, it's silk and very red and very yellow.

That'll do it. Look what I got him, Georgie.

Well, now, there's a present. That must have set you back a few.

Dad needed a new watch.

His old one's so loud, you can hear it right through his coat.

My future husband helped me pick it out.

Your future what?

Husband. We're getting married as soon as Fred's road tour is over.

Well...

Hm.

Hm.

Little Josie's gonna get married, huh?

Oh, it doesn't seem that long ago...

Hmm.

What happens to The Four Cohans?

Oh, just a simple case of subtraction.

You know, one from four leaves three.

- Three Cohans. - Mm-mm.

That's only arithmetic.

One Cohan from four Cohans leaves nothing.

Mom and Pop know?

Mm-hm.

Mom's been working on the wedding dress for weeks.

What are you thinking about, Georgie?

I'm gonna write you the most terrific wedding march ever put on paper.

It'll pack the pews.

Say, Dad, will you tell Josie that there's no reason to break up the act?

The Four Cohans are as much an institution as marriage is.

Oh, Georgie, no one knows that any better than I do...

...but we want to settle down and raise a family.

What's the matter? Can't he raise a family and be a stage manager too?

- Hmm? - George.

George, I'm afraid your mother and I are breaking up the act before Josie is.

You hear that, Sam? All three of them walking out on me.

There's been a 40-year run, remember?

We're giving you our two weeks' notice, George. Heh.

All we'd like to do now is spend the rest of our days here on this farm.

But you can't do that. You can't put an actor out to grass. Fresh air kills him.

We've gained nearly 10 pounds apiece.

You can work it off. The show is ready to go into rehearsal.

There are grand parts in it for both of you.

No, George, I...

We've had good times together.

And, well, new shows need new faces and new feet to go with you.

From now on, it's just you alone, son.

Well, what's this?

- A surprise, Dad. - Happy birthday!

- For me? Heh. - You get your own birthday.

- Look at the size of that one. - Make a wish.

- Make your wish. - I have.

A good one, Dad.

Which one do you want to open first?

How about opening this one? Let me help you.

- This one will match your suit, Dad. - Somebody gave me that last year.

Well, it looks fine.

Had it made up on that old backdrop you like so well, fireproofed and everything.

Oh, darling, that's a lovely watch. Heh.

I'm so glad you like it, Dad.

This is better than being on next to closing.

The only trouble is it's three minutes fast.

Heh-heh. Dad, press the little button on the side and see what happens.

It plays one on one and segues into "Dixie."

Here's some more ties that you won't like, Jerry.

I'll have to open up a store, huh? Heh-heh.

- Oh, uh... - Here's a letter from George.

- Don't open that now... - You haven't written me a letter in 20 years.

I'm gonna open it now, and I'm gonna read it.

George, this isn't your party. Sit down and let him read his letter.

"Dear Dad, this is your 62nd birthday, and God bless you.

Maybe I've never told you before, but no son ever had a better dad...

...or one to be prouder of.

You and mother have always given me more love and understanding...

...than I ever deserved.

And all the luck I've had is due to the things you two have taught me.

Nothing I can do could ever repay the debt.

But here's a little present for you and mother.

From this day on, you and I are partners...

...in every theater and theatrical property I possess...

...half and equal.

The Cohan Theater, the Astor, the Gaiety...

...and the Grand Opera House in Chicago...

...and all my plays and songs as long as they...

...or you and I, live."

These are not my reading glasses.

Why didn't somebody give me some reading glasses for my birthday?

"Wish you all my love...

...your son and partner, George."

Well, George, on behalf of your mother and myself, I...

There she goes stealing the scene again.

One success followed another...

...but there was one challenge I hadn't met.

Critics kept saying that musicals and cheap comedies were all I could write.

I could wave a flag, they said. Nothing else.

So I wrote a legitimate drama, very deep and very significant.

No music, no gags, no flag-waving.

I called it Popularity.

The title showed how hard I was hoping.

I couldn't attend the opening because I was down the street...

...in The Yankee Prince.

- Open it up. - Keep it closed, Buck.

Cohan, you're surely not going to your dressing room now.

You're good for at least another five curtain calls.

That's enough for tonight.

Mr. Cohan, are you sure you're feeling well?

I feel all right. Any news from Popularity?

No, but they should be ringing down just about now.

You'd think my family would let me know.

Well, it's a good sign. They probably couldn't tear themselves away.

- What time is it? - Seven-thirty.

- That clock right? - Yes, sir.

That's an early show. They ought to be here by now.

- Maybe something wrong with Mom and Dad. - I've got reports on the minstrel show.

- What'd we lose this week? - Oh, 10,000, more or less.

- What's the total loss so far? - A few dollars under 200,000.

Hmm. That include the cost of the red ink?

Popularity better be a hit. Got a lot of dough sunk in that too.

Eddie, call Wallachs and find out what's keeping them.

What did the papers say about the minstrel show?

Here they are. Rave notices again.

Hmm, rave notices. That's bad.

The better notices you get on minstrel shows, the more it costs you.

All except the last act. Alecson suggests a new finish.

Hmm, I see. A new finish. Hm.

How about Saturday night?

- Close it? - Close it.

- Saturday night. - Mm-hm.

- Give the company two weeks' salary. - All right.

- Oh, good evening, Mrs. Cohan. - Good evening.

- Hello, dear. - Hello, Mom. Hi, darling.

Dad, I was worried about you. I wondered what happened.

Sit down. Right here. You sit down.

That theater's awfully cold, George. Better have some more heat put in there.

- Take care of that right away. - Remember that skating act in Camden?

They were there. I wonder where they got the money.

Finnegan, Feeney, and Riley. I remember them well.

Well, come on, tell me, how'd it go?

Well, the audience loved it, every minute of it.

The sets were beautiful, George.

Uh...

Why so quiet, Sam?

The toughest house I've ever seen.

The critics walked out at the end of the second act.

Hmm.

Mm-hm.

Come on, Dad. Come on, let's have it.

Heh. Well, there's no use beating around the bush.

Pretty bad, George.

Could've been a lot better.

All right, you write a bad play. The only thing to do is forget about it.

Everybody's entitled to one failure.

Let's go to Delmonico's, have the party, just as though the show was a hit.

You take the girls on over there, and I'll see you in about a half-hour.

I've got some things I want to talk over with Sam.

Those critics have been after my blood for years.

They'll gang up on me and do a good job of it, but I'll beat them to it.

I'll take an ad in every paper right alongside their reviews...

...telling the public we've got the greatest show in town...

...sold out for 10 weeks in advance, we'll run a year.

The public will believe me.

- Listen, Georgie, you can't do that. - Why not?

Too big a reputation. You can't disappoint the public.

They'll never forgive you, never trust you again.

We stuck our necks out, and we got clipped.

Georgie.

You can't do this. You'll always regret it.

- Sit down and take this. - We'll be sorry.

- To the theater-going public. - George...

To the theater-going public.

I wrote a play called Popularity.

Mr. Harris and I produced that play.

In the opinion of people we respect, it is a bad play.

In this, we heartily concur.

It is a very bad play.

I do humbly apologize and ask forgiveness...

...for having presented anything of which you couldn't possibly approve.

There will be five more performances.

Please miss them.

Signed...

Happy?

It's a wonderful second-act curtain.

Send copies of this to all the papers for the next edition.

Extra! Lusitania torpedoed by German sub!

This is it, George.

And we were worried about the success or failure of a show.

Now we've really got something to worry about.

It seems it always happens.

Whenever we get too high-hat, too sophisticated for flag-waving...

...some thug nation decides we're a pushover, all ready to be blackjacked.

And it isn't long before we're looking up anxiously...

...to be sure the flag's still waving over us.

Left foot.

Right foot.

On your toes.

I used to be a model.

You'll look awful pretty peeling potatoes.

- On your way, wise guy. - Next.

Left foot. Right foot.

All right. Take this paper and report to Sergeant Cooper for your examination.

Next. Name, please. Oh.

"George M. Cohan.

Occupation: actor, author, composer, and producer.

- Address: Devonshire Hotel." - How do you know so much about me?

Don't you recognize me, Mr. Cohan? I used to be a clerk at the Friars Club.

- Oh. - Heh-heh. "Age: 39."

- Doesn't even give me a chance to lie about it. - Thirty-nine? I'm sorry, Mr. Cohan.

- You're overage. Thirty-one's the limit now. - What's eight or nine years, more or less?

- The Germans won't ask for a birth certificate. - I know how you feel, Mr. Cohan...

...but you've got to be young and tough for this army.

It's no picnic, all those hardships.

The mental strain, the trenches, the fighting, the marching.

- And the mademoiselles. - I hope.

- No, you'll never be able to stand it. - Hardships and physical strain?

Young man, you don't know what you're talking about.

This war's a coffee klatsch compared to a season with a musical show.

I'd like to see these kids do what I do...

...in a performance and be on their feet at the finish.

I'll give you an idea of what I mean.

Well, thank you very much for your entertainment, Mr. Cohan...

...but I'm afraid we have more need of you here than over there.

Well, that'll make the war last a year longer.

- Good-bye, Mr. Cohan. - Thank you, major. Thank you.

- So long. - Good-bye.

Johnny, get your gun Get your gun, get your gun

Take it on the run On the run, on the run

Hear them calling you and me

Every son of liberty

Hurry, right away! No delay. Go today.

Make your daddy glad To have had such a fad

Tell your sweetheart not to pine

To be proud her boy's in line

Over there Over there

Send the word, send the word Over there

That the Yanks are coming

The Yanks are coming

The drums rum-tumming everywhere

So prepare Say a prayer

Send the word, send the word To beware

We'll be over We're coming over

And we won't come back Till it's over over there

Over there Over there

Send the word, send the word Over there

Pick it up, soldier. Keep singing, Nora.

- Where are the lights? - The generator's gone again.

Hit your lights so we can keep going, will ya?

- All right. - Fine, thanks.

Hit your lights and keep them on the singer until the others come.

- Certainly. - Fine. Thanks very much.

That the Yanks are coming

The Yanks are coming

The drums rum-tumming everywhere

So prepare Say a prayer

Send the word, send the word To beware

We'll be over We're coming over

And we won't come back Till it's over over there

Everybody sing!

Over there

Over there

Send the word, send the word Over there

That the Yanks are coming

The Yanks are coming

The drums rum-tumming everywhere

So prepare

Say a prayer

Send the word, send the word To beware

We'll be over

We're coming over

And we won't come back Till it's over over there

We'd won the World War.

Manhattan went wild with postwar hysteria.

But I spiked my shows with prewar stuff...

...the sentiment and humor an older America had aged in the wood.

In a kingdom all our own

With little cupid on the throne

With a prince And princess on my knee

You'll be as happy as can be

In a love nest

Cozy and warm

Like a dove nest

Down on a farm

And it's all daylong

They bray

Flowers all dripping with dew

And they join in the chorus Of Nellie Kelly

I love you

He is the man Who owns Broadway

That's what the daily papers say

Oh, where could you find another?

I'd like to be shown

Another like Molly Malone

But I love the name Billie

My dad's was the same

Billie

Still, it was lonely on the main stem.

Mother and Josie were gone.

Dad was by himself on the farm and had grown very old.

Every night I went to the theater, I expected a phone call.

Well, finally it came.

You'd better give him two more ccs.

We might as well try to make him as comfortable as possible.

Yes, Dr. Anderson.

If you have to get back to town, Dr. Llewellyn, I'll be here all night.

It's all right. I'll wait till George M. gets here from the theater.

- Cigarette, doctor? - Yes, I will.

Thanks.

I remember I was a kid in medical college in Baltimore...

...when I first saw The Four Cohans.

They were a great act.

Yes, they were.

I always thought George M.'s sister was the loveliest dancer I'd ever seen.

Can't help thinking a theatrical era is dying in there.

His sister and his mother gone and now the old man.

In some ways, I think he was the best performer of the lot.

Well, I'd settle for his age.

There never was anything dull about his life, either.

And he's lived to see his son an American institution.

Yeah.

I'd settle for that too.

Hello, Mr. Cohan.

- How is he? - Resting quietly.

Oh. I see.

I think you'd better go in alone.

We can't... We can't do that.

Wait till George gets here. Where's George?

Here I am, Dad. Here I am.

Oh, that's good. I'm glad you came.

The booking office has been calling up all day...

...and they want us to play Des Moines the last half of the week.

Don't worry about that. We're not going to. I've canceled it.

We can pick it up on the way back.

- How did it go tonight? Mmm. - Oh, fine. Fine. Yeah.

It's not every kid gets that gets the chance to play Peck's bad boy.

That's right.

Were you...? Were you nervous? Did you remember your lines?

Oh, sure. Every one.

- "I can lick any kid in town." - Heh. Good.

Now, don't you upstage your mother, or I'll whale the tar out of you.

Don't worry, Dad. I'll never do that.

I'll play the whole show with one foot in the trough.

No, no, no. We've been billed as The Four Cohans.

You're not gonna break up the act.

Don't worry, Dad. They never will.

We won't let them. Won't let them.

How many curtain calls did you take tonight?

Six. Six curtains.

- That's pretty good for a drama. - Yeah.

- Did you make a speech? - Mm-hm. I thanked them for us.

I said, "My mother thanks you...

...my father thanks you...

...my sister thanks you...

...and I thank you.

Well...

...it was a good combination, Sam, worked well for a long time.

Yeah, now that it's all over, who was the senior partner...

...and who was the junior partner?

You mean, who was Dietz and who was Goff?

Well, I bet it's the first firm in the history of show business had two senior partners.

Well, uh, you know how I feel, don't you, Sam?

Sure. I understand.

You know, when Dad died, with him went the last link with The Four Cohans.

All the backslapping and the applause, well, it became unimportant.

No more fun in it.

It didn't mean anything anymore with Dad, Mom and Josie gone.

So Mary and I are going away and enjoy ourselves...

...and visit places we've always wanted to see...

...old theaters where nobody ever even heard of us.

You'll have to go to Timbuktu.

We've got it booked.

George, you've always been the one with the words.

I never was much of a hand at saying things.

But we've done more than make a lot of money...

...and lose a little.

Sometimes friends drift apart. Let's not let that happen to us.

No matter how legal the dissolution of this partnership is, Sam...

...50 percent of me will always be here in this office.

I'll remember that when the rent comes due.

You'll be more successful than ever.

But if ever the rent does come due and you can't meet it, well, you know...

...and by the same token, if I get stuck in Madagascar...

Heh-heh. ...you'll hear from me.

You'd better get out of here.

That ship will sail without you.

- Seasick pills. - Mm-hm.

I won't go to the boat with you.

You know how red my nose gets.

What's this? We thought you guys weren't speaking to each other.

Can we have a picture of you tearing up your contract?

That's impossible. We never had a written contract.

The only contract we've ever had.

Hold that pose. We want to show it to our legal department.

Shoot it, boys.

Life was less full, but it was by no means empty.

I still had Mary, a playmate as well as a helpmate.

We set out to rubberneck at the world.

Nelson monument. It's a good thing I wasn't born an Englishman.

With the history their flag has, I'd have waved myself to death.

Oh, George, I didn't know you could yodel.

Learned it on the farm. Nothing but hog-calling with frost on it.

It takes two men to impersonate a horse on Broadway.

And you always have trouble casting the front end.

But folks always come back to where their heart is...

...so we came back to the farm...

...the farm we Cohans had dreamed of when farmers were envying us.

Hey, mister, our radiator needs some H20. Can we use your well?

Sure, go ahead. Help yourselves.

Come on, Jack. Let's make this hop-up solid.

Okay, Jackson, come on. This isn't any free jitney.

Radiator busted?

Nah. It's only got high blood pressure.

What are you gonna do about tires if those give out?

Oh, it'll run a lot smoother on the rims.

"Stix nix hix pix."

Greek. I'll bet that's Greek talk.

That ain't Greek. That's Swedish or Russian. Stix nix hix pix.

That's show business talk. Here, I'll translate it for you.

"Stix," small towns, "nix," refuse, "hix," rube, "pix," pictures.

"Small towns refuse rube pictures." Stix nix hix pix.

- Stix nix hix pix. - Stix nix hix pix.

A-stix a-nix hix a-pix

A-stix a-nix hix pix

- I thought that was new jive talk. - New what talk?

- Jive talk. - Oh.

- Are you an actor, sir? - Used to be.

- What were some of your pictures? - Not in pictures.

I was on Broadway in the legitimate theater.

Oh. What's your name, sir?

- Cohan. - Cohen?

Cohan. George M. Cohan.

- You must have been before our time. - Yes, guess I was.

Were you ever in some big shows?

- Yeah, a few. - Like what?

Oh, uh, like, uh, Little Nellie Kelly.

- The Tavern. Ah, Wilderness! - Uh-uh.

Mmm. Raised in a vacuum bottle.

Well, I guess your parents must have seen me, uh, fathers and mothers.

Maybe they have. I never heard them talk about it.

Have you ever heard a song called, uh, "Give My Regards to Broadway"?

- I don't think so. - Mmm. No, sir. Who sang it?

- Who sang it? - Oh, was it a theme song or something?

- Did that follow "Beat Me Daddy, 8 to the Bar"? - Yes! Or "Jeepers Creepers."

Jeepers creepers

Where'd you get those peepers?

Jeepers creepers

Where'd you get those eyes?

Come on, kids. Time's a-wasting.

Well, we gotta scram now. Swinging session.

Thank you very much, mister... What was your name again?

Cohan. George Cohan.

Good-bye, Georgie.

You're cute!

Nice old guy. We gotta get to that session, let's go.

Come on, we got places to go and things to do.

Bye!

They did that.

I'm not angry, but it is very discouraging.

Kid asked me my name, and I said Cohan. He asked me again, and I said Cohan.

Hm. Never even heard of me. Sixteen years old, and I bet you he can't read.

But you've been away from that theater for years, George. Years.

Nine or 10 generations have grown up since then.

Naturally, they don't remember you. Nobody's got that good a memory.

Why not? Many generations remembered my father and mother in vaudeville.

That's because they were real troupers. They stayed with it.

Your father could do a buck-and-wing when he was 60 years old.

- What makes you think I can't? - I'd hate to see you try it.

Your father never sat around an orchard listening to his arteries hardening.

- Nothing the matter with my arteries. - No, not right now...

...because those kids got you all worked up.

You're picking on me for a reason, Mary.

You're trying to get a rise out of me. Come on, let's have it. What is it?

All right. Here it is.

I got a long-distance call from Sam Harris this afternoon.

What about?

He's producing a new show by Kaufman and Hart.

They're good writers. Nothing I could do to improve their stuff.

Sam thinks you could, if you played the lead.

Play the lead? Now, what is the matter with that man?

Hasn't he got any sense at all? What's he trying to do, spoil our fun?

But are you having fun, George?

When we were in Europe, you haunted every theater...

...not knowing a word that was said onstage.

Going back, congratulating the actors...

They didn't even know what you were talking about.

...Just to smell that greasepaint again.

You think I'm stagestruck.

The only reason I ever go near a theater is to get out of the night air.

Fun? I'm having a wonderful time.

I have nothing to do with Broadway.

Sam says it's a great part, no other actor in the world but you could do it.

That's just some more of that Harris con.

He needs me about as much as he needs a hole in the head.

He really does need you, George. He's in trouble.

If positions were reversed, he'd help you out. You know he would.

Besides, he never said so, but Sam's broke.

Can you think of any more reasons?

Yes. I want you to.

Well, that settled it.

I've never refused you anything, have I?

We do it. Come on, let's get packing.

We're all packed.

What?

We're all packed, dear.

Now you can start getting mad all over again...

...because I told Sam I'd talk you into it.

What are you laughing about?

Just full of news, aren't you? Telling me all kinds of things, huh?

Well, I want you to know I knew it all the time.

I was listening in on the phone downstairs while you were talking to Sam.

Why, you devil. You knew it all the time!

And what's more, I phoned Sam right back and told him I'd play it.

Oh, I ought to pop you.

- You... You... - Heh-heh-heh. Oh!

- Oh. - Oh.

It's really a wonderful job

For fellows like George, Abe and me too

It's great to shake hands with a mob

And to hold every kid on your knee too

Every word that I speak Goes into headlines

When I speak All the papers hold their deadlines

But I have found a way Of dropping a hint

Or a glint of the truth That the boys cannot print

For instance

For instance

When I was courting Eleanor

I told her Uncle Teddy I wouldn't run for president

Unless the job was steady

Don't print it Strictly off the record

We entertained the royalty But we were never flustered

We gave them Yankee hot dogs With Colman's English Mustard

Don't print it Strictly off the record

It's pleasant at the White House But I'll tell you how I feel

The food is simply terrible Just sauerkraut and veal

If Mrs. R. would stay at home I'd get a decent meal

But that's off the record

When I go up to Hyde Park

It's not for just the ride there

It's not that I like Hyde Park

But I love to park and hide there

Don't print it It's strictly off the record

I sit up in my study Writing gags for Mr. Ickes

And insults for the gentlemen

Who'd love to slip him Mickeys

Don't print that Off the record

I scrapped the Prohibition Act When we required a bracer

And finished up the Boulder Dam To give the boys a chaser

Don't print it It's strictly off the record

And for my friends in Washington Who complain about the taxes

Who cares as long as we can knock The ax out of the Axis?

Don't print it It's strictly off the record

I can't forget how Lafayette Helped give us our first chance

To win our fight for liberty And now they've taken France

We'll take it back from Hitler And put ants in his Ja-pants

And that's for the record

Good work, kids. I'll see you at 11 in the morning.

And then came your wire, and I was really worried.

Well, here I am going on like Tennyson's book, giving you the story of my life.

I'm sorry. You should've stopped me.

Why, I wanted to hear the story of your life.

It has a direct bearing on my sending for you.

Do you know what this is?

The Congressional Medal of Honor.

Let's see what the inscription says.

I congratulate you, Mr. Cohan.

I understand you're the first person of your profession to receive this honor.

You should be very proud.

Oh, I am proud.

In fact, I'm flabbergasted.

First time in my life, I'm speechless.

Uh... You're sure there isn't some mistake?

Quite sure.

This medal is for people who've given their lives for their country or done something big.

I'm just a song-and-dance man. Everybody knows that.

A man may give his life to his country in many different ways, Mr. Cohan.

And quite often, he isn't the best judge of how much he has given.

Your songs were a symbol of the American spirit.

"Over There" was just as powerful a weapon as any cannon...

...as any battleship we had in the first World War.

Today, we're all soldiers. We're all on the front.

We need more songs to express America.

I know you and your comrades will give them to us.

Mr. President, I've just begun to earn this medal.

It's quite a thing.

Well, it's the best material we could find, what with priorities and all.

Good-bye, sir.

And I want you to know that I'm not the only one that's grateful.

My mother thanks you, my father thanks you...

...my sister thanks you, and I assure you, I thank you.

And, uh, I wouldn't worry about this country if I were you.

We've got this thing licked.

Where else could a plain guy like me come in and talk things over with the head man?

Well, that's about as good a definition of America...

...as any I've ever heard.

Good-bye, Mr. Cohan, and good luck.

Good-bye, sir, and good luck to you.

Over there

Over there

Send the word, send the word Over there

That the Yanks are coming

The Yanks are coming

The drums rum-tumming everywhere

So prepare Say a prayer

Send the word, send the word To beware

We'll be over

We're coming over

And we won't come back Till it's over

What's the matter, old-timer? Don't you remember this song?

Seems to me I do.

Well, I don't hear anything.

Send the word over there

That the Yanks are coming

The Yanks are coming

The drums rum-tumming everywhere

So prepare Say a prayer

Send the word, send the word To beware

We'll be over We're coming over

And we won't come back Till it's over over there