All language subtitles for Last.Man.Standing.2011.S06E08.My.Father.The.Car.720p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-NTB

Hey.

Four more days till Turkey Day.
Who's excited?

Obviously not the turkeys.

Well, if they want to die,
they shouldn't taste so good.

This is for Thursday.

Kyle, that is
so sweet of you.

Yeah, whatever it is,
it's from me, too.

Just, it's my first Thanksgiving
as a part of the family,

and I want to contribute
like everyone else does.

Even Boyd does those
amazing hand turkeys.

I mean, what genius
thought of that?

Oh.

Yeah, no.
That's not from me.

So -- So Kyle
gets all the...credit?

His name
is Mr. Gobbles.

He was always the centerpiece
at my family's Thanksgivings.

And no one else
in your family wanted it?

Even when everybody
was fighting, you know,

Mr. Gobbles was always there
to make me smile and feel good.

Aww!
You never told me that story.

That's really sweet.

I can tell
because it wasn't about me

but I still
got heart tingles.

-Bye, Mom.
-See you later.

Oh, you are ug-ly!

What a day at work.

Hey, love.
How are you?

Hey. Hi.
Good.

Hi.

Oh, Boyd make that?

Boy, tell you what --

Art is just not
that kid's thing, right?

No, it's Kyle's.

Mr. Gobbles,
meet Mr. Baxter.

Mr. Baxter,
meet Mr. Gobbles.

Has Mr. Gobbles
met Mr. Garbage?

Have you -- Have you talked
to Chuck since he got back?

I didn't know
that he was back.

Yeah.
Carol said last night.

You might want to go over
and see how he's doing.

Why?

Because he just buried
his father.

He might want to talk
about it.

Why the hell would anybody
want to talk

about something
like that?

Well, Chuck might.

I mean, you're --
you're his friend.

Eh...

Listen, I talked to him
before he left.

Said when he gets back
he could take some time off.

I gave him the best
possible gift -- space.

You give that gift a lot.
(chuckles)

Why do men keep
everything bottled up?

Well, because the best things
come in bottles?

Yeah?

Beer,
those little ships...

light beer.

Why don't you take him
this pie, huh,

and just say hello.

You know,
when my dad dies,

I hope people are sensitive
enough just to leave me alone.

Hey, uh, Chuck.

Hey.
Hey, Baxter.

Carol said you were out
in the garage.

I was.

Now I'm standing
outside it.

Uh...

H-How was the...

Minnesota?

Cold.

Yeah, that's Minnesota.

I-I brought you a pie.

Ah.
Yeah, what kind is it?

Um...

Apple.

So, um, listen, if, um,
Vanessa asks, we talked, okay?

Same with Carol.

Yeah.

How -- How --
You know, how, uh...

Look -- Look, man,
I'm fine.

I'm fine.
My dad and I weren't close.

He's been sick for a while.
He's in a better place now.

An expensive urn.

Well, if you need any more
time off, it's okay with me.

I'll take a few days.
Next June, at your cabin.

(chuckles)

What are you doing out here
in the garage?

Oh, I'm just, uh, cleaning up
an old car my dad left me,

trying to figure out
what to do with it.

Car? What kind?
What year?

Get out of the way.
Hold a second.

Looky there.

'63 Corvair Monza
convertible Spyder!

Ah.

You may not know
the names of your employees,

but you do know
your cars.

Well, I like cars.

Can I open it up?

Go ahead, yeah.

I had one of these, man.

I had the hardtop version
of this,

and Ralph Nader
was wrong.

They don't flip.
You can't get 'em to flip.

Although, it would be
a lot of fun.

Wow!

I drove it back
from Minnesota.

You drove
a 50-year-old classic car

1,000 miles
in the winter.

What were you
thinking?

Well, mostly
I was thinking,

"This car was not made
for a man my size."

You're more of the Bonneville
kind of guy.

Boy, this thing would fit me
like a glove.

Uh-huh.
So you give me a pie.

Now you want me
to give you a car?

Nah, I was talking
about selling it,

but I like
your idea better.

(sighs)
I don't know, Baxter.

I'm not sure
what I'm gonna do with it.

Well, this brings back
some good memories.

If you want to sell it,
I'd consider buying it.

I do enjoy taking
your money, Baxter,

which is really
the only reason

why I invite you
to my poker night,

but, uh, I think
I'm gonna keep the car for now.

Uh-huh.

Hey, listen.
I'll be back to get ya.

(camera shutter clicks)

And I would never drive you
in the winter. No, I wouldn't.

Stop talking
to the car, Baxter!

♪♪

Is it a turbo?

Yeah, yeah.
160 horse, four-speed.

Got the original
top on it.

One owner,
and that was his dad.

And Chuck drove it
in the snow?

(groans)

You got to fire him.

We're firing
someone?

Let me do it.
It's been a while.

Who is it?

Chuck.

Chuck?

What are you,
heartless?

The man just lost
his father.

We wait two weeks.

We're not firing anybody.

His dad left him a car,
which I'd like to buy,

but he doesn't
want to sell it.

Everything in the world
is for sale at the right price,

which is why I own
Richard Nixon's pitching wedge.

You know, he probably thinks
you're trying to lowball him.

You know, there's a rumor
you're cheap.

I know that
'cause I started it.

There's a rumor
you're getting fired.

I know
because I'm the boss.

I offered him 10 grand.
I think that's very fair.

10 grand?
That's too much.

You're not cheap --
You're an idiot.

Chuck's a proud man.

Probably thinks you made
an overly generous offer

because you feel
sorry for him.

Could be.
I had just given him a pie.

Would you
help me out here?

Come on.
Do you even have to ask?

No!

Look, you buy and sell cars
all the time.

You stop by,
look at his Corvair,

tell him what you think
it's worth,

I'll offer him
a fair price.

You're itching
to buy something?

I've got an historic
pitching wedge for sale.

♪♪

Really, Mike?
Like you need another car.

I don't need it --
I want it.

I want it, so I need it.
Capiche?

It's like you
with shoes, Mom.

No, you mean like you
with shoes.

Okay, whatever,
the point is it's like shoes.

Just like Mandy said,
and I want this shoe.

I can't look at this thing
another minute.

Yeah.

You know what,
tonight Mr. Gobbles

sleeps in the garage
with the car running.

(gasps)

What have you done
to Mr. Gobbles?!

It was an accident!

Tell her!
Tell her, Mike!

I don't know.

You hated Mr. Gobbles,
Mr. Gobbles is dead.

I'm just sayin'.

Honey, it slipped
out of my hands!

Oh, don't you mean your claws,
you monster?

All right, look, look, look.
Don't -- Don't tell Kyle.

I can fix this.
I just need some time.

Yeah. And I just need
a new pair of shoes.

I'm just sayin'.

♪♪

(doorbell rings)

Hey, Joe.
Come on in.

Hope you're here
about the Corvair

and not selling
denim shirts door to door.

You could never
pull off this look.

I couldn't because
I'm not Cool Hand Luke.

Well, did you talk
to Chuck?

Yeah, I convinced him
to sell the car.

I knew he wanted
to sell that thing.

Well,
what about the price?

$8,500.

Saved me 1,500 bucks.

I say we go to the garage,
get ourselves a beer.

Come on.

Actually, uh,
I saved me $1,500.

I'm buying the Corvair.

Wow.

Y-You betrayed me.

You're like, uh,
Benedict Arnold.

No, you're worse
than Benedict Arnold.

You're like Tom Arnold.

I told you to go over there
to get a good price,

not to stab me in the back,
you sneaky bastard.

In my defense,
you never called dibs.

I said I wanted
the Corvair.

Yeah, but you got
to say "dibs."

Everybody knows, okay?

The first rule of dibs
is you got to say "dibs."

That's why
it's called dibs.

Do you realize you spit
every time you say that?

I-I love Corvairs.
Why do you want this car?

I don't!
But I figure I can buy it,

do a little work on it,

and sell it
to somebody who does.

You want to buy a Corvair
in two weeks?

You know, I kind of thought
we were friends.

You called me
a sneaky bastard.

You are a sneaky bastard.

What are we,
10 years old?

"What are we,
10 years old?"

All right...

You're not getting
that car, Joe.

Yes, I am.
I'm buying that Corvair.

If you want to buy it from me
in two weeks,

you got to call dibs.

You did it again.

Just a little spittle,
right here.

♪♪

This is rare.

I'm off
on a Saturday morning,

Boyd's at a sleepover.

Just two consenting adults
footloose and fancy free.

Whatever will we do?

Hmm.

You thinkin'
what I'm thinkin'?

Oh, yeah.

Let's finish
last night's Scrabble game.

Oh.

Oh, hey.

I, uh, thought you guys
were at the craft fair.

And we thought you were
sleeping in, but you're up.

Huh.

Hi.

And you're not alone.

Uh...

Rob, this is, um,

my sister Kristin
and her husband, Ryan.

Nice to meet you.

Uh...

We were just about
to play Scrabble.

You're welcome to...

No!

Yeah, I'd better skedaddle.
(chuckles)

You can use that word
if you want.

I-I don't know
what to say.

How about nothing?

In fact, let's never
speak of this again.

♪♪

Hey, Chuck,
got a second?

Oh, for you, Baxter,
I have exactly that.

Why'd you sell
the car to Joe?

(groans)

Look, it just happened.
Nothing personal.

He offered me
a fair price.

I offered you
a fair price!

And this is just to protect
you legally -- I called dibs.

No, you didn't.
That man has no concept of dibs.

Well, look who showed up --
Mr. Sneaky Bastard.

Chuck,
here's your check.

Before you sell him the car,
remember,

he's just gonna flip it
and make a profit.

I like the car.
I'll keep it.

I'll take care of it.

Mike, you sound
so desperate, okay?

So sad.

I don't really care
about the car.

Yeah, but if I get the car,
it'll be in my garage

and any time
you want to see it,

you can see it --

as long as you call me up
and I'm in the right mood.

No, thanks.

I-I spent my childhood
working on that car

with someone
I couldn't stand.

It was your dad's.

It was.

And you know what?

I think it should join him
in the hereafter.

The car is no longer
for sale.

I'm gonna
have it crushed.

He's gonna crush it?

That's...that's terrible.

For you.

He still has
your check.

Okay.

Aah!

Damn you, Mr. Gobbles!

I will see you
in centerpiece hell!

Hey, we got everything
on the list --

Boyd did it.

Really, Mom?

On the night before
this sacred holiday, hmm?

What happened?

I am so sorry, Kyle.

I just --
I dropped it,

and -- and I tried
to fix it, but I can't.

I will find
someone who can,

someone who'll make it
as good as new.

Mm, don't you mean "bad as new,"
'cause you hated it so much?

Mandy, you saw I dropped it.
It was an accident.

I heard the way you talked to Mr.
Gobbles.

-I didn't want --
-Stop!

I made
the whole thing up.

We didn't really have
a centerpiece when I was a kid.

Well, an ashtray.

Kyle, why -- why would you
make that story up?

I just --
I wanted to bring

something special
to Thanksgiving.

So, I pretended it was
full of great memories

like you all have.

Oh, my God!

Everything he says
gives me heart tingles.

How much do I love
this man?

Kyle, you are bringing
something special,

something warm and kind

and kind of weird
in a special way --

you.

Yeah.
You're our Mr. Gobbles.

Thanks, Mrs. B.

And you didn't need
to take the blame.

I'm not gonna be mad at Boyd
for breaking my centerpiece.

Hey, hey.
He's my grandson.

I had to protect him.

♪♪

Hey.

Hey. I'm just watching
the game.

You need the TV?

Uh, no. It's cool.

Turn it off.

Interesting.

Look, uh,
about the other morning...

We agreed we weren't
gonna talk about that.

Isn't keeping you word
part of the hippie code?

Yes, and so is
speaking freely.

And I just think we need
to set some boundaries.

Okay, so how about
we find a place

in the house
I pay rent to live in,

and you can
leave me alone.

Look, you're an adult now,

and I want you
to be free to be you,

but Kris and I aren't
really comfortable

with having some random guy
spend the night.

Okay, well,
I've been seeing Rob

for a while,
and he's really nice.

I mean, if you
just got to know him --

Hey, I'm not
your father, okay?

I sometimes wonder if I'm even
the same species as your father.

Trust me, you're not.

The thing is,
yes, you live here,

but so does
our 10-year-old son.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah, I did not
even think of that.

It'll never
happen again.

All right, cool.

Hey, look at us.
It went pretty good, right?

Yeah. We're cool.

Good.

So, next time,
I'll just stay at his place.

(sighs)

Sorry, his place?

I don't even know
this kid.

Huh? What?

I mean, who is he,

does he have a job,
who are his parents?

Okay, now you're starting
to sound like my dad.

No. No, no, no, no.

I am just a guy who knows
what it's like to be a guy.

Trust me,
I'm one of the good ones,

and look what I did
to your sister.

I'm getting
very uncomfortable.

I got her pregnant
and I left.

That is horrible.

Okay, this is horrible.
Where is this all coming from?

I don't know, okay?
I-I guess I worry about you.

Well, don't.
It's weird.

I can't help it.

Look, I know
we insult each other a lot.

Well, mostly you
just insult me.

But, you know,
I care for you.

You're kind of like
my little sister.

Yeah. Thanks.

And you're kind of like
my big sister.

I am sure
that he is a good kid.

But if he ever hurts you,
I will hang him

from a deer-gutting rack
and eviscerate him.

Now, that sounds
like your dad.

♪♪

It's good to see
you're okay.

Oh, and you, too, Chuck.

That was a little embarrassing
at work today, man.

Oh, come on.
That was nothing.

One time Ed woke up
from a nap,

he's wandering around
the store in a daze.

And he naps shirtless.

Still, I'm sorry,

even though
I did have my shirt on.

So, maybe this, uh,
car is something

you should talk
to somebody about.

No.
As a matter of fact,

I'll do anything not
to talk about it anymore.

Take it.

Just pay me
whatever you think it's worth.

I don't want the car,
you know, not until you tell me

why you hate this so much.

I mean, this thing
could be haunted.

Be sitting in my garage,
and all of a sudden,

your dad shows up,
starts talking to me.

That's some freaky stuff.

Yeah, you don't
have to worry about that.

I spent every Saturday as a kid
working on this car with him.

Trust me, if he does show up,
he won't say a damn word.

Hm.

My dad used to take me
fishing during the season,

get me up early,

and we'd go up there and fish
in the same spot --

same damn spot --
up in Clear Creek.

Yeah, well,
it's comforting to me to hear

how wonderful
your dad was.

He'd never say a word --
the whole trip.

Casting a line -- nothing,

except a grumble every
now and then about my rattail.

It was the '70s.

I had a big-ass afro,
which, apparently,

was always
blocking the damn light.

One time I faked sick.

My mom came
and took my temperature.

She didn't buy it.

She looks at me
and she goes,

"You know, maybe the reason
your dad doesn't talk to you

is 'cause he doesn't know
what to say.

But do know that he just likes
spending time with you."

(sighs)

What the hell's the matter
with fathers of that generation?

They could never say
what they felt.

Have you enjoyed
the last few minutes?

Look, Brandon's coming home
for Thanksgiving, right?

Yeah, Carol's picking him up
at the airport right now.

Kids these days,

all they know about cars
is you plug them in.

Doesn't know
about American classic

with the rear engine,
unsafe at any speed.

Maybe you can tell him
about this.

Yeah, maybe I could show
Brandon a few things.

Or just sit with him, you know,
ask him how school's going.

If Vanessa asks,
we didn't talk.

(chuckles)

Same with Carol.

Have a nice
Thanksgiving, Larabee.

You do the same, Baxter.

Hey.
I took your advice.

Brandon and I worked
on the Corvair together.

Which means I probably
got to fix something, right?

No, I didn't let him
touch anything.

But, you know [sighs]
we talked the whole time,

and I'm really starting
to like that car.

Well, I hate to lose it,
but the good news is here

that Joe doesn't get it.

Excuse me.
Uh, Chuck?

Oh. Yeah?

I just want to say
I'm sorry for your loss.

Mm-hmm.

I hope this helps.

Oh.

An old golf club?

It's Richard Nixon's
pitching wedge.

So, you know
you can cheat with it.

Oh, well,
thank you, Ed.

That -- That's --
That's very thoughtful.

It's all right.

Just don't use it on the course,
all right?

-That's a piece of history.
-Okay.

It's also a piece of crap.

Hey, Chuck.
Chuck, listen, uh...

Big fan of Nixon, right?

I'll give you 100 bucks
for that thing.

I don't know.

Maybe I'll sell it to Joe
for $75.

(laughs) Dibs!

-- Captions by VITAC --