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1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:04,069
[ FOOTSTEPS ]
[ MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING ]
2
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:10,909
Archer: BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT
WAS THERE, LANA!
3
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,278
Lana: THERE WHERE?
OUTSIDE A CLOWN COLLEGE?
4
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,581
Archer: THEY HAVE THOSE HERE?
Lana: I DON'T KNOW!
5
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,616
ARCHER, LOOK OUT!
[ CRASH ]
6
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,118
UGH! WE'LL NEVER CATCH HIM IN
THIS THING.
7
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,921
Archer: MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE
THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU
BLEW THE DAMN DROP.
8
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:25,523
Lana: I BLEW JACK SHIT!
Archer: NAME DROPPER.
9
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,126
Lana: AND IF YOU WEREN'T SO
BUSY TRYING TO BANG THAT
WAITRESS...
10
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,929
Archer: OH, FOR --
Lana: ...YOU WOULD'VE NOTICED
THAT ODIN HAD AGENTS IN PLAY.
11
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:34,032
Archer: SHE WAS THE HOSTESS!
IF YOU WEREN'T BLINDED BY
JEALOUSY.
12
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:36,201
Lana: OKAY, YES, I'M JEALOUS.
Archer: FIRST STEP'S
ADMITTING IT.
13
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,736
Lana: JEALOUS THAT ODIN'S
GONNA BEAT US AGAIN...
Archer: ODIN!
14
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,439
Lana: ...THANKS TO YOUR EPIC
POONHOUNDERY.
Archer: FIRST OF ALL, LANA --
15
00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,641
ARRETêZ-VOUS! ARRETêZ-VOUS!
16
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:44,876
[ TIRES SCREECHING ]
17
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,645
[ CRASH! ]
Archer: OH!
18
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,013
[ CHUCKLES ]
Lana: GREAT. GOOD JOB.
19
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:51,016
Archer: SHUT UP!
ODIN DOESN'T BEAT
STERLING ARCHER.
20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,085
ONLY STERLING ARCHER BEATS --
21
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,588
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
22
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:58,222
Lana: DID YOU WANT TO FINISH
THAT THOUGHT?
23
00:00:58,258 --> 00:01:01,527
Archer: DID YOU WANT TO
FINISH SHUTTING YOUR BIG, FAT,
NEGATIVE, WORDSY MOUTH?
24
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:04,596
Lana: WHOSE FAT MOUTH TOLD
THE STUPID WAITRESS HE WAS AN
ISIS AGENT?
25
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,231
Archer: HOSTESS!
AND I HAD A PLAN.
26
00:01:06,266 --> 00:01:07,999
Lana: WHAT?
TO GET LAID IN THE WALK-IN?
27
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,502
Archer: ALSO, BECAUSE I'M
NOT AN ANT, LANA...
28
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,603
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
29
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,272
...I HAPPEN TO SEE THE BIG
PICTURE.
30
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:14,273
Lana: OH, REALLY?
31
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,240
WELL, THEN, WHERE'S...
32
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,075
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
33
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:18,543
...KASPAROV?
34
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,711
OKAY, THAT WAS A FLUKE.
35
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,213
Archer: YEAH, A FLUKE OF
NATURE BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO HAVE
36
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,182
PERFECT SITUATIONAL AWARENESS,
LANA...
37
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:26,651
Lana: ARCHER.
Archer: ...WHICH CANNOT BE
TAUGHT, BY THE WAY...
38
00:01:26,686 --> 00:01:28,486
Lana: ARCHER.
Archer: ...LIKE A POET'S...
39
00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:29,721
MIND FOR...
Lana: ARCHER.
40
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:31,389
Archer: ...TO MAKE THE
PERFECT WORD.
41
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,325
Lana: ARCHER!
Archer: GOD DAMN IT!
I'M RELISHING --
42
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,527
[ CRASH ]
43
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,432
OW.
WAY TO GO, LANA.
NICE WARNING.
44
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,534
Lana: NICE RELISHING. OW.
Archer: OHH.
45
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,537
THINK THAT WAS ODIN?
Lana: NAH, IT'S ONLY YOU THAT
BEATS YOU, BUDDY.
46
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:46,438
Archer: HA HA HA.
47
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:47,239
Barry: HEY, GANG.
48
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,273
Both: BARRY.
49
00:01:48,308 --> 00:01:50,575
Barry: GEE, THANKS FOR
HELPING US CATCH KASPAROV.
50
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,711
ODIN APPRECIATES THE ASSIST.
Lana: YEAH.
51
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:56,481
Barry: AND IF YOU EVER GET
TIRED OF PLAYING J.V. BALL,
YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND US.
52
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:58,316
Archer: OH, YEAH?
UH, WHERE'S THAT?
53
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:01,153
UH, DICKTOWN?
[ CHUCKLES ]
54
00:02:01,188 --> 00:02:02,921
JESUS, EVEN THEIR CARDS ARE
NICE.
55
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,091
LANA, LOOK AT THIS -- IT'S
EMBOSSED.
56
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,659
OH, OKAY.
57
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,761
THEN, I GUESS JUST POUT.
58
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,661
Malory: OUI.
59
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:44,696
OUI, JE SAIS, MAIS --
60
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,599
OUI. AU REVOIR.
61
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:48,867
THAT WAS THE MAYOR OF PARIS.
62
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,568
Archer: NAME DROPPER.
63
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:54,539
Malory: WHO IS JUST AS EAGER
AS I AM TO KNOW WHY ISIS AGENTS
WERE TERRORIZING PARIS!
64
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:58,210
Archer: SO, I CRASHED A FEW
COP CARS, RAN OVER A FEW MIMES.
65
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:01,646
SO, I DON'T PLAY BY THE RULES,
MOTHER, BUT I GET RESULTS.
66
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,949
Malory: WELL, AS LONG AS YOU
GOT KASPAROV.
67
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,385
Archer: OH, UH, YEAH, ABOUT
THAT.
68
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,420
[ GLASS BREAKING ]
Pam: THAT'S WHY SHE CAN'T
HAVE NICE THINGS.
69
00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:10,422
EITHER THAT, OR I STEAL THEM.
70
00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,390
- Pam: HMM?
- WHAT?
71
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:13,158
Pam: WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT? WHAT DO YOU WANT, PAM?
72
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,726
'CAUSE I'M A LITTLE BUSY FOR
CHITCHAT.
73
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,594
Pam: BUSY TRYING TO TURN THAT
THING ON?
74
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,596
LOOK AT THIS!
75
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,064
O-N -- NOTHING!
76
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,565
Pam: WELL, JUST KEEP AT IT.
77
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,866
YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR.
78
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,134
Cyril: I'M SORRY -- WHAT?!
79
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:25,169
Lana: HE SORT OF OFFERED ME A
JOB AT ODIN.
80
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,304
Cyril: BARRY DILLON?
81
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,007
BARRY "WE HAVE THIS WHOLE HUGE
HISTORY TOGETHER" DILLON?
82
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,309
Lana: WE DON'T HAVE THIS
WHOLE HUGE HISTORY.
83
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,278
OH. OH, MY GOD.
BARRY.
84
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,646
Barry: PRETTY SWEET, HUH?
85
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:37,782
Lana: USING A MIRROR TO
REFLECT THE LASER BEAM BACK INTO
THE LASER?
86
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:38,450
Barry: YEAH.
87
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,117
Lana: OH, MY GOD.
88
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,285
Barry: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG.
89
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,520
AND THAT I'M ACCIDENTALLY INSIDE
YOU.
90
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,390
Lana: NOT A PROBLEM.
91
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:50,028
I-I JUST WANT TO KEEP MY OPTIONS
OPEN, SO YOU CAN'T BREATHE A
WORD OF THIS TO MALORY.
92
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,229
YOU KNOW HOW SHE GETS.
93
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,197
Malory: ODIN?!
94
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,098
Archer: WELL, SINCE I'M NOT
APPRECIATED HERE.
95
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:56,301
Malory: WHAT'S TO APPRECIATE?
Archer: EXACTLY.
96
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,770
I MEAN, THAT'S INDICATIVE OF
YOUR WHOLE ATTITUDE, MOTHER.
97
00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:02,674
Malory: STERLING MALORY
ARCHER, YOU ARE...
98
00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,077
OF COURSE FREE TO PURSUE YOUR
OPTIONS.
99
00:04:05,112 --> 00:04:06,177
Archer: WAIT, HANG ON.
100
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,980
Malory: AND IF ODIN MADE
YOU A BETTER OFFER, WHAT KIND OF
101
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,449
MOTHER WOULD I BE IF I STOOD IN
THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS?
102
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:14,552
Archer: UH...WAIT, WHAT JUST
HAPPENED HERE?
103
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,321
FINE!
SHE THINKS I WON'T GO?!
104
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,223
WELL, GUESS WHAT!
I DON'T NEED HER!
105
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,825
Pam: I, HOWEVER, DO NEED YOUR
KEYCARD.
106
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:20,858
Archer: YEAH, HI.
107
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,227
BARRY DILLON, PLEASE.
YES, I'LL HOLD!
108
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,831
OH, AND JUST WAIT TILL I GET TO
ODIN.
109
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,599
Pam: I WILL!
KEYCARD?
110
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:28,967
Archer: OH. HERE! GOD!
111
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,636
Pam: THEY ARE THE
STUFF-THROWING-EST FAMILY.
112
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:34,372
OKAY, SO, AFTER I CALL
YOUR VASE GUY...
113
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,507
Malory: FREEZE EVERY ONE OF
HIS ACCOUNTS!
114
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,276
AND THEN GET ME WOODHOUSE.
115
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:42,847
AND WE'LL JUST SEE HOW TOUGH
STERLING IS WHEN HE CAN'T SUCKLE
AT MY TEAT!
116
00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:44,049
[ SHUDDERS ]
117
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,285
Archer: WOODHOUSE, SHE FROZE
MY ACCOUNTS, AND I NEED TO GET
118
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,855
IN MY SAFE, SO OPEN THE GODDAMN
DOOR ALREADY!
119
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:53,925
Woodhouse: I'M AFRAID I
CAN'T, SINCE ISIS ACTUALLY PAYS
THE RENT ON THE --
120
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,193
[ GUNSHOTS RICOCHET ]
121
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:56,795
Archer: AAH!
DAMN IT!
122
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,863
WHEN DID WE GET A BULLETPROOF
DOOR?!
123
00:04:58,898 --> 00:05:00,699
Woodhouse: AFTER THE POPEYE
INCIDENT, SIR.
124
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,766
Archer: OH, RIGHT.
125
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,601
WAIT, SO YOU KICK ME OUT OF MY
OWN HOUSE?!
126
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,903
Woodhouse: YES, SIR.
127
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,405
ALTHOUGH IT PAINS ME DEARLY.
128
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,241
Archer: I'M GONNA PAIN YOU
DEARLY, WOODHOUSE, WHEN I PEEL
129
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,676
ALL YOUR SKIN OFF WITH A
FLENSING KNIFE, SEW IT INTO
130
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:15,614
WOODHOUSE PAJAMAS, AND THEN
SET THOSE PAJAMAS ON FIRE!
131
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:17,949
HELLO?
132
00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,285
Woodhouse: IT'S JUST YOU AND
ME NOW, REGGIE.
133
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,519
SO BE A LAD?
134
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,021
PUT ON SOME MINGUS?
135
00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:25,423
Archer: HI, BARRY DILLON,
PLEASE?
136
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:26,691
YES, IT'S STERLING ARCH--
137
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:30,095
OHH. YES, I'LL HOLD!
138
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,730
Trexler: OH! COME ON.
139
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:35,700
WE'VE GOT MI6 IN THE SEMIS ON
SUNDAY, AND I AM SLICING IT LIKE
A BUTCHER.
140
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:36,968
Barry: JUST KEEP AT IT.
141
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,803
Trexler: I THINK IT'S THIS
NEW GRIP.
142
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,374
Barry: SO, LISTEN, REMEMBER
HOW YOU WANTED ME TO FLOAT THAT
JOB OFFER TO LANA KANE?
143
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:44,542
Trexler: LOVE HER!
144
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,877
YEAH!
WHEN DOES SHE START?
145
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,111
Barry: THAT'S THE THING.
146
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,514
SEE, I THINK STERLING ARCHER
THOUGHT I WAS TALKING TO HIM.
147
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,083
Trexler: ARCHER?!
YOU'RE KIDDING.
148
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:53,818
Barry: YEAH, I WISH.
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY THE GUY'S
GREAT IN THE FIELD.
149
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,587
Trexler: [ CHUCKLES ]
YOU WOULD KNOW.
150
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,021
Barry: NOW SEE?
WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
151
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:59,424
Trexler: WHY DO YOU SOFTBALL
'EM IN LIKE THAT?
152
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,526
Barry: [ SIGHS ]
Trexler: I'M SORRY.
153
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:04,095
HOW'S THE LEG? I'M SORRY.
Barry: HURTS WHEN IT RAINS...
154
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,698
AND WHEN I THINK ABOUT ARCHER,
AND SO I BLEW HIM OFF.
155
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,734
Trexler: NO, NO, NO, NO,
BARRY, YOU BLOW HIM ON!
156
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,235
Barry: "ON" AS IN HIRE HIM?
157
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,237
AS IN HERE?
Trexler: YES.
158
00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:16,273
IT'LL DRIVE HIS MOTHER CRAZY.
159
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,675
[ CRASH! ]
160
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:18,810
[ SIGHS ]
161
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:20,946
GOTTA BE THE GRIP.
162
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,984
Malory: AND YOU FROZE ALL OF
STERLING'S ACCOUNTS?
163
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,685
DOMESTIC AND FOREIGN?
164
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,587
EVEN THE ONE ON THE ISLE OF
MAN.
165
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,689
OH, MY GOD, AND IS THAT LIKE
WHORE ISLAND FOR WOMEN?
166
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,691
Pam: NOPE.
Malory: THEN YOU JUST WATCH.
167
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,529
IN NO TIME, HE'LL BE BEGGING ME
TO TAKE HIM BACK.
168
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,897
HE HASN'T CALLED, HAS HE?
Pam: NOPE.
169
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:41,700
HOW YA HOLDIN' UP, MAMA BIRD?
170
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,770
Malory: WELL, EXCEPT FOR YOUR
GROSSLY OVER-FAMILIAR TONE, I
COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!
171
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,772
EVEN IF MR. ARCHER GETS A JOB
AT ODIN?
172
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:49,974
Malory: [ Laughing ] OH,
PLEASE!
173
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,442
ODIN WON'T HIRE HIM.
174
00:06:51,477 --> 00:06:54,179
AFTER THE STUNT HE PULLED IN
BERLIN?
175
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,546
Archer: WELL, WHOSE FAULT IS
THAT?
176
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,647
Barry: YOURS!
177
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:59,017
YOU BUST IN, SHOOT TWO PERFECTLY
GOOD DOUBLE AGENTS --
178
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,987
Archer: AND YOU THINK AN
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE IS TO RUIN
MY SUIT?
179
00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,455
OH, AND MY SHIRT!
180
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:04,422
Barry: I'M SORRY.
181
00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:08,393
SO, WILL YOU PLEASE JUST HELP ME
UP?!
182
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,327
Archer: NO.
183
00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,096
...FOR WHICH I AM PRETTY
GENUINELY SORRY.
184
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:16,100
Barry: NOTHING TWO STEEL RODS
AND 16 TITANIUM SCREWS COULDN'T
FIX.
185
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,702
Trexler: AH, COME ON, DON'T
BE SHITTY.
186
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:18,937
Archer: YEAH, BARRY.
187
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,939
Trexler: IT'S WATER UNDER
THE BRIDGE.
GET OVER IT.
188
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:23,475
BECAUSE HE IS PART OF THE FAMILY
NOW.
189
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,042
SO GO PUT HIS STUFF IN HIS
OFFICE.
190
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:25,977
Archer: YEAH, BARRY.
191
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,346
Lana: BARRY, HI!
192
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:32,049
SO, I WAS WONDERING IF YOUR
TEMPTING OFFER WAS STILL OPEN.
193
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,885
[ LAUGHS ]
194
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,686
NO, YOU SILLY MAN!
195
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,223
ABOUT THE JOB.
196
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:41,192
NO, JUST...KEEPING MY OPTIONS
OPEN.
197
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,027
Barry: DEFINITELY COME IN.
198
00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:46,564
I MEAN, WE DID KIND OF FILL THE
POSITION, BUT...
199
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:49,133
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S GONNA
BE A GOOD FIT.
200
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,269
Cyril: I JUST DON'T SEE WHY
YOU NEED THIS.
201
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:56,241
Lana: BECAUSE THIS IS A HUGE
OPPORTUNITY FOR ME, AND I NEED
TO FEEL CONFIDENT.
202
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,509
Cyril: IN THE INTERVIEW.
203
00:07:58,545 --> 00:07:59,244
Lana: UH-HUH.
204
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,878
Trexler: OH, THAT LOOKS
GREAT!
205
00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,580
Archer: YEAH, IT FEELS PRETTY
GOOD.
206
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,448
Trexler: COME ON, ALREADY.
207
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,282
TAKE A CUT.
208
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,850
Archer: WHAT, LIKE, OUT THE
WINDOW?
209
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,186
Trexler: DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT -- I GET A DEAL ON THOSE.
210
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:08,987
90 CENTS A BALL.
211
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,088
Archer: UH, OKAY.
212
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:11,088
[ THWACK! ]
213
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,825
Trexler: GOD, YOU'RE A
NATURAL!
214
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,728
BET IT'S ALL THAT LACROSSE AT
BOARDING SCHOOL, HUH?
215
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,129
Archer: YEAH, 13 YEARS'
WORTH.
216
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,630
Trexler: [ Laughing ] 13
YEARS?!
217
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,200
WHAT, DID SHE SHIP YOU OFF IN
KINDERGARTEN?!
218
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:22,967
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
219
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:24,102
GOSH, THAT MUST'VE BEEN TOUGH.
220
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,770
Archer: NO, I-I-I LOVED IT.
221
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:28,806
UH...MADE A LOT OF GOOD FRIENDS.
222
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,009
[ SLOW PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ]
223
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,944
FAMILY, ALMOST, IS WHAT THEY
WERE.
224
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,346
Trexler: SPEAKING OF --
225
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,514
HOW'S YOUR MOTHER TAKING ALL
THIS?
226
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,448
Archer: OH, PLEASE.
227
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,184
I BET SHE DOESN'T EVEN MISS ME.
228
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:42,654
Malory: BECAUSE HE'LL BE
BACK, CRYING FOR HIS MOMMY!
229
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:46,057
JUST LIKE THAT CHRISTMAS BREAK
WHEN I MOVED AND FORGOT TO GIVE
230
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,459
MY NEW ADDRESS TO HIS STUPID
BOARDING SCHOOL.
231
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:51,129
I MEAN, HE RODE THE TRAIN INTO
THE CITY ALL BY HIMSELF.
232
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,897
HE COULDN'T PICK UP A PHONE
BOOK?
233
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:57,201
9 YEARS OLD, AND BAWLING IN
THAT POLICE STATION LIKE A
LITTLE GIRL!
234
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,204
HA! WHAT'S THAT TELL YOU?
235
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,839
KIND OF A LOT, ACTUALLY.
236
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,207
Malory: OH, SHUT UP.
I BET YOU'RE BARREN.
237
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,642
Trexler: MY GOD.
ON CHRISTMAS?
238
00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:06,644
Archer: WELL, CHRISTMAS EVE,
TECHNICALLY.
239
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,079
Trexler: [ French accent ]
240
00:09:08,114 --> 00:09:11,382
WELL, THE LOVELY FRAMBOISE
FROM H.R. HAS SOME PAPERWORK FOR
YOU TO SIGN.
241
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,217
Framboise: 'ALLO!
Archer: 'ALLO.
242
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:16,854
Trexler: [ Normal voice ] WHY
DON'T YOU FOLLOW HER ON DOWN TO
YOUR BIG NEW CORNER OFFICE...
243
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,458
Archer: OKAY.
Trexler: ...WHERE THE SOFA IS
SOAKED IN SCOTCHGARD.
244
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,228
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M --
Archer: YEAH, I THINK I DO.
245
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,230
Trexler: IT'S RESISTANT TO
STAINS.
246
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,664
Archer: RIGHT, RIGHT,
I GOT IT.
247
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,034
Trexler: SUPER!
'CAUSE WE'RE ONE BIG FAMILY.
248
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,235
Archer: [ SHUDDERS ]
249
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,004
Lana: WHY DO YOU MAKE THAT
SOUND?
250
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,238
Cyril: GEE, LET'S SEE.
251
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,507
YOU'RE OFF TO INTERVIEW WITH
ODIN, HOME OF BARRY "OH, I
252
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,909
FORGOT TO MENTION THE WHOLE
NAKED LASER THING" DILLON!
253
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:43,181
Lana: ODIN ISN'T SOME CO-ED
FRESHMAN DORM WHERE EVERYONE
RUNS AROUND SCREWING!
254
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,715
Archer: I'M SORRY, FRAMBOISE.
255
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,084
IT'S NOT YOU.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT ME, EITHER.
256
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,220
OBVIOUSLY.
BUT IN THE OFFICE?
257
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:51,155
Framboise: YOU DON'T SEX ON
THE WOMEN AT ISIS?
258
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,356
Archer: CONSTANTLY!
259
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,026
BUT IT'S NOT ALLOWED, AND
ACTUALLY, IT'S PROBABLY ILLEGAL.
260
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,962
BUT HERE --
Framboise: HERE WE ARE ONE
BIG FAMILLE.
261
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:03,401
Archer: YEAH, AND THE, UH,
FAMILLE THING ACTUALLY MAKES
THIS BORDERLINE CREEPY.
262
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,503
Framboise: PERHAPS IF YOU
TRIED IT FROM BEHIND?
263
00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:07,204
Archer: YEAH, LET'S TRY THAT.
264
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,139
Malory: [ VOMITING ]
265
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,807
Gillette: DON'T GET ANY ON
THAT SNAPPY SUIT.
266
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:11,109
Malory: UGH.
267
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:14,145
DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO
DO THAN MINCE AROUND AND GAWK?!
268
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,412
Gillette: ABOUT A MILLION.
269
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,916
BUT CHERYL WAS SCARED TO COME IN
HERE, SO I TOOK TIME OUT OF MY
270
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,654
BUSY "MINCING SCHEDULE" TO TELL
YOU THAT YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.
271
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:23,588
Malory: IS IT STERLING?!
272
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,623
Gillette: I AM SURE I DON'T
KNOW.
273
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,458
Malory: DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE A
LITTLE BITCH?
274
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,227
Gillette: WILL YOU REMEMBER
THIS CONVERSATION?
275
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,462
Malory: PROBABLY NOT, NO.
276
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,162
Gillette: WELL, THEN
[ BLEEP ] OFF.
277
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,998
Trexler: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WITH THE LANGUAGE!
278
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,500
YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER WITH THAT
MOUTH?
279
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,334
Malory: YOU LEAVE BUB OUT OF
THIS!
280
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,670
AND HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY SON
AWAY FROM ME!
281
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,172
Trexler: STEAL HIM?
YOU CUT HIM LOOSE.
282
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,174
Malory: YOU CUT HIM LOOSE!
Trexler: WHAT?
283
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,711
Malory: I WANT YOU TO FIRE
HIM THIS INSTANT.
Trexler: I CAN'T DO THAT.
284
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:49,113
HE'S HAPPY HERE.
HE'S MAKING NEW FRIENDS.
285
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,182
Barry: GOD DAMN IT, ARCHER!
286
00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,283
Archer: WHAT, BARRY?
287
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,718
I SAID, "DON'T COME IN HERE."
288
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,019
FRAMBOISE, WHAT'D I SAY?
289
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,754
Framboise: HE SAID DO NOT
COME IN.
290
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,989
Archer: YEAH, BARRY.
291
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,456
Malory: I DON'T CARE IF HE'S
HAPPY!
292
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,457
Trexler: WELL, THAT'S
OBVIOUS.
293
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,059
Malory: MEANING WHAT, EXACTLY?!
294
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,263
Trexler: MEANING WHO LEAVES A
9-YEAR-OLD KID IN A POLICE
STATION ON CHRISTMAS?!
295
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,265
Malory: EVE!
AND HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?
296
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,567
Trexler: OH, WE'VE HAVE SUCH
GREAT TALKS.
297
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,403
Malory: FIRE HIM!
Trexler: JOIN HIM!
298
00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:12,536
COME WORK FOR ME!
299
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,238
Malory: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR
MIND?!
300
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,840
Trexler: EVERY TIME I SEE
YOU.
301
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,275
Malory: FIRE HIM.
Trexler: CAN'T DO IT.
302
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:19,276
Malory: CAN'T OR WON'T?
303
00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,045
Trexler: EITHER?
Malory: FINE.
304
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,749
THEN GO CHECK YOUR TELEX.
305
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:26,050
Trexler: OH, MY GOD.
Barry: LOOK AT THAT.
306
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,418
Trexler: A BURN NOTICE?
307
00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:31,389
Barry: "ISIS DISAVOWS
AGENT STERLING ARCHER, A.K.A.
DUCHESS..."
308
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:33,124
Trexler: MAN, SHE LOVED THAT
DOG.
309
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:37,261
Barry: "...WHO IS TO BE
CONSIDERED AN UNRELIABLE ASSET
AND SECURITY RISK."
310
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,263
Trexler: OH, IT MUST'VE
KILLED HER TO DO THIS.
311
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,031
Barry: [ CHUCKLES ]
AND I'M SMIRKING.
312
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:44,268
Trexler: NO, YOU DON'T SMIRK
AT A MOTHER'S SUFFERING, BARRY,
YOU ASSHOLE!
313
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,436
Barry: OW!
314
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:48,439
IT'S JUST WITH THE SHATTERED
FEMUR AND THE GUNSHOT WOUND
315
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:53,010
AND -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNEW
THIS -- BUT FRAMBOISE AND I WERE
KIND OF ENGAGED.
316
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,813
Trexler: I DID NOT KNOW THAT!
Barry: YEAH.
317
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,215
Trexler: AND I SERVED HER UP
LIKE A PUDDING.
318
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,017
Barry: WELL, ENGAGED TO BE
ENGAGED.
319
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,087
OW!
Trexler: ASS! IF YOU LOVE IT,
PUT A RING ON IT.
320
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:04,689
OKAY, SO -- OKAY, YOU GO FIX
THIS.
321
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,624
Barry: YOU KNOW, I'M NOT EVEN
SURE I WANT TO.
322
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,693
SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY INTO HIM.
UGH! COME ON!
323
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,928
Trexler: ASS! NOT FRAMBOISE!
ARCHER!
324
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,431
Barry: THE BURN NOTICE?
HIS MOTHER OBVIOUSLY JUST SENT
THAT TO --
325
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,233
Trexler: TO EVERY AGENCY ON
THE PLANET.
326
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:16,634
LOOK AT THIS -- C.I.A., MI6,
INTERPOL.
327
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:20,371
WE CAN'T KEEP HIM NOW, BARRY!
Barry: OH, SO...
328
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,439
Trexler: SO YOU TAKE HIM TO
THE BASEMENT.
329
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,441
YOU PUT ONE IN HIS EAR.
CAN YOU DO THAT?
330
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,643
Archer: OH, MY GOD!
331
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,980
THAT FRAMBOISE IS A FREAK, HUH?
332
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,214
Barry: YEAH.
333
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,550
YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.
334
00:12:35,722 --> 00:12:39,190
Lana: NO, AS A MATTER OF
FACT, I DON'T HAVE BARRY ON
SPEED DIAL.
335
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:40,692
Cyril: WELL, GEE, THAT'S
RATHER SURPRISING.
336
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,026
Lana: YOU KNOW WHAT'S
SURPRISING?
337
00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,862
KISSING YOU GOOD-BYE AT THE
AIRPORT, DOZING OFF IN FIRST
338
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:47,765
CLASS, AND THEN SEEING YOU ON MY
FLIGHT WHEN I GET UP TO PEE!
339
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,633
THAT, TO ME, IS RATHER
SURPRISING.
340
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,902
Cyril: AND REALLY EXPENSIVE,
TURNS OUT.
341
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:54,472
Lana: JUST --
MM! MM!
342
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,739
Archer: SERIOUSLY.
343
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,742
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO SOUND
LIKE A JERK, BUT THAT FRAMBOISE
344
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,780
CHICK MUST'VE BEEN A PROSTITUTE
BEFORE SHE GOT THIS GIG.
IN, LIKE, BANGKOK.
345
00:13:02,815 --> 00:13:03,681
Barry: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
346
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:04,849
Archer: I WAS ALMOST
EMBARRASSED FOR HER.
347
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:06,016
WHERE WE GOING, ANYWAY?
348
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,252
Barry: WE'RE HEADED DOWN TO
SUBBASEMENT 3 FOR A MINUTE.
349
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,687
Archer: IS THERE A SHOWER
DOWN THERE?
350
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,222
'CAUSE I BET I JUST REEK OF HER.
351
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,791
[ CELL PHONE RINGS ]
Barry: ONE SECOND. DILLON.
Archer: DON'T I?
352
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:14,992
Archer: BARRY, YOU GETTING
THAT?
353
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,193
Barry: REALLY? YEAH.
354
00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:18,329
Archer: I'M BRUSHING IT YOUR
WAY, PAL.
355
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,998
Barry: NO, I'M ACTUALLY
AT THE LOBBY RIGHT NOW.
TWO SECONDS.
356
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,733
Archer: WAIT, WHERE ARE WE
ON THAT SHOWER?
357
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,502
Barry: MAYBE HEAD ON BACK UP
TO YOUR OFFICE.
358
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,638
'CAUSE THERE'S ACTUALLY, LIKE, A
PRIVATE BATHROOM IN THERE.
359
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,907
Archer: OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE LIKE
I SAID, I BET I JUST REEK.
360
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,809
Barry: YEAH, YOU'VE MENTIONED
THAT.
361
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,244
Cyril: BUT I --
Lana: NO!
362
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:36,046
BABY, I AM PUTTING YOU IN THE
CORNER, WHERE YOU WILL SIT
QUIETLY.
363
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,182
Barry: HEY, YOU!
364
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,249
Lana: HEY, YOU!
365
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:39,583
Barry: AND WHO ARE YOU?
366
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:42,386
Cyril: CYRIL FIGGIS, ISIS
COMPTROLLER AND...
367
00:13:42,421 --> 00:13:46,323
Lana: ...VERY EAGER TO SIT
HERE QUIETLY IN THE CORNER
BECAUSE HE IS SO TIRED.
368
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,059
Cyril: UM, SO...
369
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,827
I'LL JUST BE HERE, THEN.
370
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,395
YEP?
Lana: YEP!
371
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,797
Malory: NO! NO! NO!
372
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,367
WHO PUT OUT A BURN NOTICE ON
STERLING?!
373
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:57,702
Pam: THAT WOULD BE YOU.
374
00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:59,404
Malory: WHAT?!
[ LAUGHS ]
375
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,372
HOLY SHIT, THE LOOK ON YOUR
FACE.
376
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,108
Malory: BUT I WOULD NEVER!
NOT IN A MILLION --
377
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,109
GET A MIRROR.
378
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:07,512
Malory: OH, DEAR GOD.
DID I DRINK ABSINTHE?
379
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:09,413
Gillette: THAT BOTTLE AND
MOST OF THIS ONE.
380
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,115
Pam: UNTIL WE WRESTLED IT
AWAY FROM YOU.
381
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,886
'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SHARE, BEEYOTCH!
Pam: EASY, TOUGH GUY.
382
00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:16,721
Malory: I DON'T REMEMBER ANY
OF THAT.
383
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:20,124
ABSINTHE MAKES ME BLACK OUT.
384
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:26,130
ALL RIGHT, YA YELLOW SONS OF
BITCHES, LET'S DANCE!
385
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:27,565
[ CHEERING AND WHISTLING ]
386
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,268
Gillette: IT ALSO MAKES YOU
INCREDIBLY MEAN.
387
00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:31,903
AND UGLY!
Pam: SERIOUSLY.
388
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:33,237
BIOTCH.
Pam: DANGER ZONE.
389
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,906
Malory: WELL, DON'T JUST SIT
THERE!
390
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,307
UNDO THIS!
Gillette: OOH.
391
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,474
Malory: "OOH" WHAT?!
392
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,009
Pam: WE CAN'T, MS. ARCHER.
393
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,611
IT'S TOO LATE.
394
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:41,912
[ SLAMMING, GLASS BREAKING ]
395
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,647
Lana: I'M SORRY, SO --
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
396
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,382
Barry: UH -- CAN YOU NOT GIVE
ME A MINUTE?!
397
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,450
Framboise: NO!
398
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:48,152
YOU FIRE ME, I TAKE MY THINGS!
399
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,520
Barry: TAKE ALL THE THINGS!
400
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,554
HERE, TAKE THIS!
401
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,390
GO STAPLE MY HEART BACK
TOGETHER!
402
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,958
Framboise: TON COEUR?!
403
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:54,992
TU N'AS PAS UN COEUR!
404
00:14:55,027 --> 00:14:57,161
Barry: HOW AM I THE BAD GUY
IN THIS?!
405
00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:58,429
Lana: SO, BARRY...
406
00:14:58,464 --> 00:15:00,498
Barry: THAT WAS FRAMBOISE,
OUR HEAD OF H.R.
407
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,400
Lana: WITH WHOM I GUESS I
WON'T BE MEETING?
408
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,902
Barry: NO, SHE'S GONE.
409
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:07,071
AND SO, REMEMBER HOW I SAID WE'D
JUST HIRED SOMEONE?
410
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:10,641
Lana: YES.
Barry: AND SO, REMEMBER
STERLING ARCHER?
411
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,509
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT!
412
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,446
Lana: BARRY, IF YOU TOUCH ME,
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PUT YOU IN
THE GROUND.
413
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,416
Barry: THAT WAS BEFORE HIS
MOTHER PUT OUT A BURN NOTICE
ON HIM.
414
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,485
Lana: WHA--?!
MALORY BURNED ARCHER?
415
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,485
Barry: WORLDWIDE.
416
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,553
Lana: HOLY SHIT.
417
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,054
Barry: YEAH, SO HE'S GONE.
418
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,156
Lana: ALREADY?!
LIKE LITERALLY GONE?!
419
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,259
Malory: [ SOBBING ]
420
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,460
Gillette: OH, MY GOD.
421
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,628
I LIKED HER BETTER MEAN.
422
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,763
Malory: HE'S GONE!
423
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:36,967
I KILLED MY BABY BOY, AND NOW MY
BABY IS GONE!
424
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,369
Pam: OH, NOW.
425
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:40,004
YOU CAN ALWAYS...
426
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,238
Malory: ALWAYS WHAT?!
427
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:44,509
Pam: WELL, I WAS GONNA SAY
YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER BABY,
428
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,577
BUT...YOU'RE ALL DRIED UP IN
THERE.
429
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,945
Malory: [ SOBS ]
430
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,113
Barry: NO, NO, NO.
431
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,314
LIKE, FIGURATIVELY GONE.
432
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:54,585
UNLIKE FRAMBOISE, WHOSE CAR
SHOULD BE BLOWING UP ANY MINUTE.
433
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,320
Framboise: OH!
[ CRASH! ]
434
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,090
OOH-LA-LA!
Cyril: UH, EXCUSEZ-MOI,
MADEMOISELLE.
435
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:03,594
Framboise: 'ALLO!
Cyril: MAY I HELP YOU...
AVEC YOUR BOX?
436
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,795
Lana: SO ARCHER'S STILL HERE?
437
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,497
Barry: YEAH, HE'S IN THAT
CORNER OFFICE.
438
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,800
AND ONCE FACILITIES CLEANS HIS
BRAINS OUT OF IT, IT CAN BE YOUR
OFFICE.
439
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,201
Lana: REALLY?
440
00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:13,370
Barry: YEAH, I DON'T THINK
THE REGULAR CLEANING STAFF DOES
BRAINS.
441
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:17,241
Lana: NO, I MEAN, YOU SHOOT
HIM, AND I GET AN OFFICE
OVERLOOKING THE CHAMPS-éLYSéES?
442
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,244
Barry: AND THE BANK WHERE
YOU'LL DRIVE YOUR NEW COMPANY
443
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,113
CAR TO DEPOSIT YOUR INSANE
PAYCHECKS, AND MAYBE, IF YOU
444
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,216
STAND ON THOSE TIPTOES, YOUR
HUGE APARTMENT.
445
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,717
Lana: "HUGE" AS IN...?
446
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:30,687
Barry: AS IN YOU WON'T SEE
YOUR LIVE-IN SERVANTS UNLESS YOU
REALLY WANT TO.
447
00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,289
ALL RIGHT, LET ME GO SHOOT THIS
PRICK.
448
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,891
Lana: WAIT.
LET ME DO IT.
449
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,193
Barry: REALLY?
'CAUSE I WOULD KIND OF LOVE TO.
450
00:16:36,228 --> 00:16:37,794
Lana: NOT AS MUCH AS I WOULD.
451
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,830
Barry: YOU GUYS KIND OF HAVE
A HISTORY, HUH?
452
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,131
Lana: YEAH.
YOU COULD SAY THAT.
453
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,666
Barry: KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
454
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:46,570
Lana: SO, HEY, THESE
SERVANTS -- IF I DID SEE THEM,
WOULD THEY CURTSY MEEKLY?
455
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,606
Barry: WELL, OTHERWISE, I
MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT?
456
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,041
Lana: [ SIGHS ]
457
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,141
[ BEEP ]
458
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,009
ARCHER!
459
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,511
Archer: OH, COME ON.
460
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,712
LANA, WHY THE HELL ARE --
461
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,446
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
462
00:16:55,481 --> 00:16:56,447
LANA, NO!
463
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:57,281
[ GUNSHOT ]
464
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,249
[ THUD! ]
465
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:01,352
Barry: BARRY, DOES THIS MAKE
UP FOR FRAMBOISE?
466
00:17:01,387 --> 00:17:03,520
IT DOES, OTHER BARRY.
IT SURE DOES.
467
00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,924
Lana: BARRY?
I GUESS GO AHEAD AND CALL
FACILITIES OR WHATEVER.
468
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,626
Barry: UH...
[ CRASH! ]
469
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,295
Lana: BECAUSE THERE IS
LAMP EVERYWHERE.
470
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,429
Archer: GOD, LANA!
471
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,632
GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE ALREADY!
Lana: ARGH!
472
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,367
TELEX! YOU GOT ONE IN HERE?!
473
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:18,402
Archer: WHY, SO YOU CAN SMASH
THAT, TOO?
Lana: NO.
474
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,772
Archer: 'CAUSE I'M PRETTY
SURE I'M FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE FURNISHINGS!
475
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:24,675
Lana: SO I CAN SEND A TELEX
FROM ODIN TO MAKE THE BURN
476
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:27,344
NOTICE FROM YOUR MOTHER LOOK
LIKE AN ODIN BLACK FLAG!
477
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,413
Archer: MOTHER BURNED ME?
478
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:29,379
Lana: APPARENTLY.
479
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,981
Archer: OH, MY GOD, THAT'S
CLASSIC HER.
480
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:32,616
Lana: YOU'RE BOTH CLASSIC
HER.
481
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:35,519
NOW SHUT UP, GET DRESSED, AND
GRAB THE KEYS TO THAT COMPANY
CAR.
482
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:39,523
WE'VE GOT ABOUT TWO MINUTES
BEFORE SOME ODIN DICK SEES THIS
AND SEALS THE EXITS.
483
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,492
Archer: ANY WAY WE CAN BUMP
THAT TO FIVE?
484
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:43,494
I SERIOUSLY NEED A SHOWER.
Lana: ARCHER!
485
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:44,729
Archer: OKAY, GOD!
486
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:46,630
CLIMB DOWN OFF THAT RAG.
487
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:49,500
Pam: OH, MY GOD.
LOOKS LIKE JONESTOWN IN HERE.
488
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:54,104
Malory: YES, PAM, GET ME SOME
POISON, BECAUSE I AM ALREADY
DEAD INSIDE.
489
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,373
Pam: TOO DEAD INSIDE TO READ
GOOD NEWS?
490
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,808
Malory: IS IT MY OBITUARY?
491
00:17:57,843 --> 00:17:59,509
Pam: WELL, IT'S NOT THAT
GOOD.
492
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,178
Malory: GIVE ME THAT, YOU
OAF!
493
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:06,383
"ALL AGENCIES, DISREGARD ISIS
BURN NOTICE ON AGENT ARCHER,
494
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,986
A.K.A. DUCHESS --"
[ GASPS ]
495
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,755
AN ODIN BLACK FLAG OPERATION!
496
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,424
PAM, HE'S ALIVE!
497
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,259
MY STERLING IS ALIVE!
498
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,295
Pam: AW, AND LOOK AT HAPPY
LITTLE MAMA BIRD!
499
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:22,500
Malory: WELL, THE BLOWBACK ON
ODIN FOR THIS WILL BE HUGE,
AND I SAW IT COMING.
500
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,267
Pam: UH-HUH.
501
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,468
Malory: I KNEW IT.
502
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,605
JUST LIKE I KNEW STERLING WOULD
COME CRYING BACK TO MOMMY,
503
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,675
WIPING HIS SNOTTY NOSE ON HIS
SLEEVE LIKE A SCARED LITTLE BOY
ON CHRISTMAS.
504
00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:32,609
Pam: UH-HUH.
505
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:35,346
Malory: EVE.
IT WAS ONLY CHRISTMAS EVE.
506
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,847
Pam: I KNOW.
GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK.
507
00:18:36,882 --> 00:18:38,482
Malory: AND?
Pam: AND?
508
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:43,720
Malory: AND DO YOU JUST PLAN
TO LOOM OVER ME ALL DAY, LIKE
SOME SORT OF... HENGE?
509
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,223
Pam: OKAY.
510
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,390
Trexler: YOU SEE?
511
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:47,591
THIS IS WHY.
512
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:53,497
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE
THINGS, BARRY, YOU ASSHOLE!
513
00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:55,566
Archer: HOW AM I THE BAD GUY
IN THIS?
514
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:57,501
Lana: BECAUSE I WANTED THIS,
ARCHER.
515
00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,871
I'M SICK OF YOU GETTING THE BEST
ASSIGNMENTS JUST BECAUSE YOUR
MOTHER'S THE BOSS.
516
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,207
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?!
517
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,409
Archer: BESIDES AWESOME?
Lana: RRR!
518
00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:07,378
Archer: HANG ON.
I THINK MY CAR'S ON P-2.
519
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:10,181
Lana: WELL, I HAVE TO GET
CYRIL, WHO'S ON...
520
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,615
Archer: FRAMBOISE.
Framboise: 'ALLO!
521
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,349
Archer: HELLO?
522
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,116
Cyril: HELLO.
523
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,585
Archer: OH, MAN.
524
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:15,686
THAT'S BAD.
525
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:18,188
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
526
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,289
YES, NOW!
527
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,458
LET'S TALK THIS OUT.
528
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,658
Lana: TALK WHAT OUT?!
529
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:23,761
HOW YOU RUINED MY CHANCE TO WORK
FOR ODIN?
530
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:28,432
OR -- OOH! -- MAYBE HOW I JUST
CAUGHT MY BOYFRIEND BALLS DEEP
IN SOME FRENCH CHICK!
531
00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:30,167
Archer: EX-BOYFRIEND, I BET.
Lana: YA THINK?!
532
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:32,569
Archer: YEAH, HE'S NOT COMING
BACK.
533
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,505
THAT CHICK WAS LIKE THE PELé OF
ANAL.
534
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,572
Lana: ARCHER.
535
00:19:35,607 --> 00:19:37,507
Archer: SORRY, I KNOW THIS IS
TOUGH.
536
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:41,345
I MEAN CYRIL, WHATEVER, BUT YOUR
FEELINGS FOR ME ARE OBVIOUSLY
CONFLICTED.
537
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:43,080
Lana: YOU'RE RIGHT, ARCHER.
I AM CONFLICTED.
538
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:44,281
Archer: YEAH.
539
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,450
Lana: BECAUSE IF I HAD SHOT
YOU IN THE FACE, I'D BE LIVING
540
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,986
HERE, GETTING CURTSIED AT BY
SERVANTS!
541
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:50,855
Archer: YEAH, BUT YOU
COULDN'T DO IT.
542
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,122
Lana: [ SIGHS ] MAYBE --
543
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,125
MAYBE WE BOTH BELONG AT ISIS,
YOU KNOW?
544
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,392
MAYBE THAT'S OUR REAL HOME.
545
00:19:55,428 --> 00:19:57,728
Archer: THAT'S WHAT MOTHER
SAID ABOUT BOARDING SCHOOL.
546
00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,263
I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT CYRIL.
547
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,363
Archer: YEAH, ME TOO.
548
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,133
Archer: EVEN IF YOU BROUGHT
IT ON YOURSELF.
549
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,567
Lana: EXCUSE ME?
Archer: OH, COME ON.
550
00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,769
I DON'T RECALL EVER SEEING A
WELCOME MAT AT YOUR BACK DOOR.
551
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:06,737
Lana: ARCHER.
552
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:08,806
Archer: BUT -- WAIT, WOULD
THAT CHEER YOU UP?
553
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,407
ME AND YOU, A LITTLE REVENGE
ANAL?
554
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:11,842
Lana: ARCHER.
Archer: YES?
555
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,443
Lana: YOU WEARING A SEAT
BELT?
556
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:14,445
Archer: UH, NO, WH--
557
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,479
LANA-A-A-A!
558
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:18,348
[ CRASH! ]
559
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,917
[ COUGHS ]
560
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,652
SO, UH, IS THAT A YES?
561
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:24,221
OR A MAYBE OR...?
562
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:26,056
WHAT?
563
00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:27,324
OH, OKAY.
564
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,427
THEN, I GUESS JUST POUT.
43567
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