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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:05,804
ALL ABOARD FOR SAFETY AND
ADVENTURE ON THE RIGID AIRSHIP
2
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:09,674
EXCELSIOR, WHERE THE PAMPERED
LUXURY OF A CRUISE SHIP MEETS
3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:12,311
THE SMOOTHNESS OF MODERN AIR
TRAVEL.
4
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:17,582
YES, WHEN YOU FLY EXCELSIOR,
YOU'RE FLYING IN STYLE AND
SAFETY.
5
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,185
SAFETY?
BUT ISN'T HYDROGEN FLAMMABLE?
6
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:21,519
AND HOW, TIMMY.
7
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,756
THAT'S WHY EXCELSIOR IS FILLED
WITH SAFE, NATURAL HELIUM.
8
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,025
WHY, IT'S ACTUALLY
FLAME-RETARDANT.
9
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,826
NEAT!
AND SAFE.
10
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:32,864
SO, WHETHER YOU'RE ENJOYING
EXCELSIOR'S MAJESTIC VISTAS,
11
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,768
DUTY-FREE SHOPPING, HIGH-STAKES
BACCARAT, DANCING WITH YOUR
12
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:40,672
LOVELY WIFE, OR EVEN A CIGAR
AFTER A FRENCH GOURMET DINNER,
13
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,243
YOU'LL BE ENJOYING THEM IN
STYLE AND SAFETY.
14
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,778
ALL ABOARD EXCELSIOR!
15
00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:47,679
Archer: [ CHUCKLES ]
16
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,447
WHO WOULD WANT TO PUT A BOMB ON
THAT?
17
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,049
WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE
HOPING ISIS CAN FIND OUT.
18
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,751
Archer: NO, WHY BOTHER?
19
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:57,589
SOME BROAD GETS ON THERE WITH A
STATICKY SWEATER AND, BOOM,
IT'S, "OH, THE HUMANITY!"
20
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:58,490
- [ SOBS ]
- NO, NO, THAT'S --
21
00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,691
Malory: STERLING.
22
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,693
Lana: WERE YOU WATCHING SOME
OTHER BLIMP COMMERCIAL JUST NOW?
23
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,495
TECHNICALLY, IT'S A RIGID
AIRSHIP.
24
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,663
Malory: FILLED WITH HELIUM.
25
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,498
Lana: WHICH IS NONFLAMMABLE.
DUMBASS.
26
00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,534
I THOUGHT OUR PROMOTIONAL
VIDEO COVERED THAT FAIRLY WELL.
27
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,704
Malory: OH, AND HOW.
STERLING, IT'S TOTALLY SAFE.
28
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,072
WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE BOMB
THREAT.
29
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:16,174
Malory: NO, NOT TO WORRY,
DEAR.
30
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:19,077
ISIS WON'T LET TERRORISTS BLOW
UP YOUR LOVELY BLIMP.
31
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:20,278
[ SIGHS ] RIGID AIRSHIP.
32
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:23,248
Malory: MY TOP TWO AGENTS
WILL BE ON BOARD.
Archer: NOPE!
33
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:26,218
Malory: AND I WILL OVERSEE
THE OPERATION PERSONALLY FROM
34
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:29,187
WHAT I ASSUME WILL BE
FIRST-CLASS ACCOMMODATIONS.
35
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,389
OOH, ACTUALLY, WE ARE FULLY
BOOKED.
36
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,957
Malory: WELL, IF YOU THINK --
37
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:38,630
OH, I DON'T KNOW -- THIS
TRUDY BEEKMAN PERSON CAN THWART
A MAJOR TERROR PLOT --
38
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,998
I SUPPOSE WE COULD BUMP
MRS. BEEKMAN.
39
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,233
Archer: BUMP ME.
I'M NOT GOING.
40
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:44,335
IF THESE TWO CAN SHARE A
CABIN.
Lana: NOPE!
41
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,337
Archer: NOT GOING TO LET THE
TERRORISTS WIN.
42
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:47,772
WE'LL POSE AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.
43
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,341
Lana: NOPE!
CYRIL WOULD TOTALLY FREAK.
Archer: HA.
44
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,611
Lana: MALORY, COME ON, LET ME
STAY WITH YOU, AND WE'LL DO THE
WHOLE OPRAH/GAYLE THING.
45
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,879
Malory: NOPE!
46
00:01:54,914 --> 00:02:00,018
I NEED A STATEROOM TO MYSELF, IN
CASE I HAVE A GENTLEMAN CALLER.
47
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:00,885
UM...
48
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,887
Archer: MOTHER, PLEASE.
Lana: PLEASE.
49
00:02:02,922 --> 00:02:04,356
DO NOT MAKE ME DO THIS.
50
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,791
Malory: BUT, LANA, THINK OF
THE INNOCENT LIVES YOU'LL BE
51
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,829
SAVING AND ALSO THE FACT THAT
THIS IS A DIRECT ORDER.
52
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,797
Lana: AT LEAST, TELL ME IT'S
SEPARATE BEDS.
53
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,699
WELL, UM...
Lana: ICK.
54
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:18,870
Archer: [ CHUCKLES ] LANA.
LANA.
55
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,772
LANA.
56
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,107
LAN-A-A-A!
57
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,108
Lana: WHAT?
58
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,142
[ CHUCKLES ]
59
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,944
¶ DANGER ZONE ¶
60
00:02:57,744 --> 00:03:01,646
Cyril: TERRIBLE, AWFUL, JUST
GUT-WRENCHINGLY BAD FEELING
ABOUT THIS.
61
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,549
Lana: BABY, I REALLY NEED YOU
TO TRUST ME, OKAY?
62
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,618
NOW, IS THE CABIN SMALL? YES.
63
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:08,920
Archer: AND YET, SURPRISING
AMOUNT OF STORAGE.
64
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:11,723
Lana: UGH, AND I WILL HARDLY
BE IN HERE, OKAY, BECAUSE I'VE
65
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,359
GOT A TERRORIST TO FIND, AND I
DOUBT HE'S HIDING UNDER --
66
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,393
Archer: WHAT'S BASICALLY A
TWIN BED.
67
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,961
Lana: ARCHER!
68
00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:20,264
Archer: SINCE IT'S ALL
DRAWERS UNDER HERE BECAUSE LOOK
HOW TINY THIS ROOM IS.
69
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,399
Malory: OH, MY GOD.
70
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,801
IT'S LIKE A BROOM CLOSET.
71
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,702
Archer: AND YET A SURPRISING
AMOUNT OF STORAGE.
72
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:28,806
Malory: OH, SHUT UP.
AND, CYRIL, VERY EAGER TO KNOW
WHY YOU'RE STILL HERE.
73
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,109
Lana: HE WAS JUST --
Cyril: HELPING LANA GET
SETTLED.
74
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,844
Archer: TRUST ME, CYRIL.
SHE ALREADY SETTLED.
75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,012
Lana: HEY!
Cyril: HEY!
76
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,280
Archer: HEY!
Malory: HEY!
77
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:36,114
DISEMBARK, CYRIL.
78
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,949
WE'RE ABOUT TO LAUNCH...
79
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,684
OR WHATEVER BLIMPS DO.
80
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,453
YEAH, WHAT DOES A BLIMP DO,
PAM?
81
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,889
Pam: UH, KICK YOUR SKINNY
ASS!
82
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,692
NOW, COME ON.
WE GOT TO GET OFF THIS THING
BEFORE --
83
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:48,927
RELA-A-A-X.
84
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,562
GOD, WE'VE GOT HALF AN HOUR.
85
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:55,400
OH, WELL, THEN, MAKE ME A
DOUBLE CAMPARI AND, UH...
86
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,168
I GUESS, VODKA.
87
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,805
WE DON'T NORMALLY DRINK ON
THE BRIDGE.
88
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,708
Archer: WELL, I DON'T
NORMALLY FLY ON THE
HINDENBURG 2.0, SO...
89
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,276
IT'S NOT THE HI--
90
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,777
Lana: AND CYRIL DOESN'T
NORMALLY STORM OFF WITHOUT EVEN
KISSING ME GOOD-BYE.
91
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,814
Archer: SO WE'RE ALL OUT OF
OUR COMFORT ZONE.
92
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,715
Malory: NOT ME.
MY STATEROOM IS GORGEOUS.
93
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,350
OH.
94
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:16,621
Malory: THAT -- WHAT'S HER
NAME? -- BEEKMAN, I BET SHE'S
JUST SICK SHE GOT BUMPED.
95
00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:21,259
YES, SHE LITERALLY VOMITED
FROM ANGER, SO IF WE COULD JUST
FOCUS ON THE BOMB THREAT.
96
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,660
Lana: HOW ABOUT CREW MEMBERS?
97
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:25,096
ANYONE WHO MIGHT BE DISGRUNTLED?
98
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,298
UM...
99
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,500
ACHTUNG!
100
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,801
THAT'S LIEUTENANT KRAUSS.
101
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,838
HE AND I WERE BOTH UP FOR
COMMAND OF THE EXCELSIOR, BUT --
102
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,038
Lana: YOU GOT IT.
103
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,206
LEAVING HIM WITH MOTIVE.
104
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,476
[ German accent ] RELEASE THE
MOORING CABLE.
105
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,578
Archer: COME ON, IT'S NOT
LARRY LUFTWAFFE.
THAT'S --
106
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,212
[ BANG ]
107
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,013
Malory: OOPSIE. [ GIGGLES ]
108
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:43,315
Archer: UGH, WAY TOO OBVIOUS.
109
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,149
Pam: GOD DAMN IT!
110
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,584
WE'RE MOVING!
111
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:47,585
I KNOW!
112
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,387
Pam: WHAT HAPPENED TO HALF AN
HOUR?
113
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,322
I LIED.
Pam: WH-- WHY THE --
114
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,158
Cyril: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU
TWO STILL HERE?
115
00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:57,228
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU'D BE HERE
BECAUSE YOU DON'T TRUST LANA
WITH MR. ARCHER.
116
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,264
Cyril: NO, NO, NOW, THAT
IS --
117
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:03,034
SO IRONIC, CYRIL, ESPECIALLY
IN LIGHT OF RECENT...
118
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,769
Cyril: NO.
...RUG-BURNY EVENTS.
119
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:08,373
Pam: [ Laughing ]
OH, MY GOD!
120
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,808
YOU TWO BANGED?!
121
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,142
Cyril: I, UH --
122
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:14,312
SEE, HERE'S THE THING.
UH, FRUIT BASKET!
123
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:17,416
Pam: WOW.
YOU ARE JUST A DOG IN A MANGER.
124
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,618
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,
PAM.
125
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,686
I DIDN'T GROW UP ON A CHEESE
FARM.
126
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,789
Pam: OH, FOR THE -- IT'S
CALLED A DAIRY.
127
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,792
AND EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HINT
OF A PROBLEM ON OUR MAIDEN
128
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,261
VOYAGE WOULD KILL EXCELSIOR'S
STOCK PRICE.
129
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:34,065
Malory: SO, LANA, CANVASS THE
PASSENGERS AND CREW, LEARN WHAT
YOU CAN ABOUT KRAUSS --
130
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,967
BUT, PLEASE, BE DISCREET.
131
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,735
Lana: HEY, GOOD ADVICE!
132
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,837
WHICH MAYBE I'LL JUST SORT OF
FOLD IN WITH MY 12 YEARS OF
133
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,373
EXPERIENCE AS A COVERT
OPERATIVE!
134
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:41,973
Malory: DON'T BE SNOTTY!
135
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,140
Archer: HA!
136
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,911
Malory: AND, STERLING, IF
THERE IS A BOMB, CAPTAIN, DEAR,
137
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,779
WHERE WOULD IT DO THE MOST
DAMAGE?
138
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:48,679
PROBABLY --
139
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,715
Archer: UH, THIS NEW PLACE
CALLED ANYWHERE.
140
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,016
THIS WHOLE THING'S A BOMB.
141
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,351
IT'S NOT --
Archer: JESUS!
142
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:54,919
WANT TO BLOW US ALL TO SHIT,
SHERLOCK?!
143
00:05:54,954 --> 00:05:56,388
Malory: STERLING!
Archer: WHAT?!
144
00:05:56,423 --> 00:06:00,959
FOR THE LAST TIME, THE
EXCELSIOR IS FILLED WITH
NONFLAMMABLE HELIUM!
145
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,528
ALTHOUGH THIS IS A NON-SMOKING
AREA, SIR.
146
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,396
DAMN IT, HE'S A PROSPECTIVE
INVESTOR.
147
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,199
Archer: NOT AFTER THAT, I
BET.
148
00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:09,034
FORGET ABOUT KRAUSS.
THERE'S YOUR BOMBER.
149
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,302
Lana: WHO?
Malory: WHAT?!
150
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:12,337
Archer: THAT GUY.
BEARDSLEY McTURBANHEAD.
151
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,672
Malory: YOU IDIOT.
152
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:17,075
THAT'S SANDU SINGH, THE
BILLIONAIRE INVESTOR.
HE'S A SIKH.
153
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:19,911
Archer: OH, SO IF HE'S NOT A
MUSLIM, HE JUST GETS A PASS?
154
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:22,647
WELL, THAT'S CALLED PROFILING,
MOTHER, AND I DON'T DO IT.
155
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:25,550
MR. SINGH IS EXCELSIOR'S
MAJORITY SHAREHOLDER.
Archer: SO?
156
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,353
IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG ON
THIS FLIGHT, HE'D LOSE MILLIONS.
157
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,655
Archer: IT'S A PERFECT COVER.
Malory: STERLING.
158
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:32,457
Lana: JUST GO LOOK FOR THE
STUPID BOMB.
159
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,927
Archer: RELAX, WHAT DO WE
HAVE, LIKE FOUR HOURS BEFORE WE
GET TO LONDON?
160
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,796
Lana: FOUR HOURS?
Malory: ARE YOU JOKING?
161
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,131
THE CROSSING TAKES 24 HOURS.
162
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,665
Archer: ARE YOU JOKING?
WHAT?
163
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:44,302
RIGID AIRSHIPS COMBINE THE
PAMPERING OF A CRUISE SHIP WITH
THE SPEED OF --
164
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,205
Archer: SOME OTHER SLIGHTLY
FASTER SHIP?
165
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,739
UH, HELLO. AIRPLANES?
166
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:51,243
YEAH, IT'S BLIMPS. YOU WIN.
BYE.
167
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:52,343
[ Laughing ] OH, GOD.
168
00:06:52,378 --> 00:06:54,279
I HOPE YOU DIDN'T INVEST IN
THIS.
169
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:55,680
IT'LL BE FINE, THOUGH...
170
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:56,881
Archer: BLIMPS ARE TERRIBLE.
171
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,384
...AS LONG AS NOTHING GOES
WRONG ON THIS FLIGHT.
172
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:04,222
Malory: OH, CAPTAIN,
MY CAPTAIN, WITH ISIS ON BOARD,
173
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,857
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
174
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,092
PICK ONE.
175
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:10,895
EITHER "A," I TELL LANA WHAT
HAPPENED ON THAT SCRATCHY GREEN
176
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,531
OFFICE RUG, OR TWO, YOU GET
INSIDE ME.
177
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:17,469
Cyril: OR, "C," MAYBE I JUST
JAM THIS MOP INTO THE ENGINE AND
KILL ALL OF US.
178
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,337
I DON'T THINK THAT'S HOW
BLIMPS WORK.
179
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,338
Cyril: DARN!
180
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,607
RIGHT, WE JUST SORT OF FLOAT
AROUND.
181
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,477
STUPID, NATURALLY SAFE HELIUM.
182
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:28,479
BUT I AM LIKING THE JAMMING
IMAGERY.
183
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:29,714
AND THE KILLING.
184
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,682
Cyril: AND ARE YOU JUST GONNA
SIT THERE?
185
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,551
Pam: YEAH, UNTIL SHE TAGS ME
IN.
186
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,552
Cyril: WHAT?!
187
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,321
Pam: [ Laughing ] I'M
KIDDING!
188
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:38,990
MY BACK'S ALL MESSED UP.
189
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:44,996
Pam: SO, YOU'RE RUINING
CYRIL'S LIFE BECAUSE, IN YOUR
190
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:49,033
DREAM-THE-IMPOSSIBLE-DREAM
WORLD, IT'LL MAKE MR. ARCHER
JEALOUS?
191
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:50,468
OH, PAMELA.
192
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,471
YOU READ ME LIKE A POEM.
Pam: YEAH?
193
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:56,975
WHAT'S THE POEM GONNA BE ABOUT
WHEN CYRIL SNAPS AND MURDERS
YOU?
194
00:07:57,010 --> 00:08:00,078
I DON'T KNOW.
WORLD'S GUSHIEST ORGASM?
195
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,380
Lana: CAN YOU JUST GET OUT OF
THE WAY?
196
00:08:02,416 --> 00:08:04,949
Archer: WHAT?
ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT ME AGAIN?
197
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,484
Lana: YES!
Archer: OH.
198
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,686
WELL, THEN, HANG ON.
199
00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:10,321
Lana: CYRIL IS ALREADY
FREAKED OUT ENOUGH ABOUT US
200
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:13,591
SHARING THIS SHOEBOX WITHOUT YOU
AIR-DRYING YOUR UNKEMPT BUSH.
201
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,726
Archer: UNKEMPT BUSH?!
202
00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,727
UM, YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!
203
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:22,200
Lana: [ GASPS ] MY VULVA IS
SMOOTHER THAN A VEAL CUTLET!
WHAT TERRIBLE TIMING.
204
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,768
Cyril: OH, REALLY?
Lana: BABY --
205
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,370
Cyril: DID I INTERRUPT
SOMETHING?
206
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:28,273
Archer: UH, REHEARSAL WITH
YOUR COMMODORES TRIBUTE BAND.
207
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,942
Lana: ARCHER!
CYRIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
208
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:34,379
Cyril: I WANTED TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT, BUT
209
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,348
APPARENTLY, YOU'RE TOO BUSY
SHOWING OFF YOUR VEALY VULVA!
210
00:08:37,383 --> 00:08:38,649
Lana: CYRIL!
211
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,220
YOU KNOW, YOUR WHOLE TRUST
THING -- AND I'VE TRIED TO,
OKAY?
212
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:43,955
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE ARE ON A BREAK!
213
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,556
Cyril: OH, YEAH?
Lana: YEAH!
214
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:47,292
Cyril: WELL, THAT'S FINE BY
ME!
215
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,693
Lana: CYRIL, WAIT!
NO RUNNING!
216
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,194
Cyril: SHUT UP!
Lana: OH, MY GOD.
217
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,696
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Archer: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
218
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,597
GO AFTER HIM.
219
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,232
Lana: OH, YOU THINK I SHOULD?
220
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,166
Archer: YES!
221
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,835
WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF FRUIT.
222
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,939
WHICH IS WHY I FIND IT
STRANGE THAT YOU'RE SO
INCREDIBLY CALM!
223
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:05,043
Malory: WELL, THAT SEAWEED
WRAP JUST SLURPS OUT THE STRESS.
224
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:10,815
CAN'T WAIT TO TELL TRUDY BEEKMAN
ALL ABOUT IT, UH, IF WE EVER
MEET.
225
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:13,050
[ SIGHS ] WHAT ABOUT YOU?
ANYTHING ON KRAUSS?
226
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,752
Lana: NO. SHUT UP.
HAVE YOU SEEN CYRIL?
227
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:16,688
Malory: WHY WOULD I HAVE?
Lana: UH...
228
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,189
AND WHAT THE HELL IS HE
DOING?
229
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,357
Archer: HEY, WHAT DID I TELL
YOU, HUH?!
230
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,693
- OH!
- Archer: HUH?! THERE!
231
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,594
GO BUY A NICOTINE PATCH!
232
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,763
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
233
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:27,465
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
GENTLEMEN.
234
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,767
NO, NO, NO!
WHAT HAPPENED TO DISCRETION?
235
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,003
Lana: WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT
BARTENDER?
236
00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:35,539
Malory: RIGHT?
GUY SEES AN EMPTY GLASS, AND ALL
OF A SUDDEN, HE'S JUDGE CRATER.
237
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,908
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE!
238
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,910
NIGEL, SOME CHIPS FOR MR. --
239
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,211
Archer: ARCHER. [ CHUCKLES ]
240
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:41,145
STERLING ARCHER.
241
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,914
THE MINIMUM BET IS 10,000,
SIR -- DOLLARS.
242
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,285
Archer: OH, I STUFFED ALL MY
MONEY IN THAT GUY'S MOUTH.
243
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:50,888
WELL, PERHAPS WE COULD PLAY
FOR SOMETHING MUCH MORE
INTERESTING.
244
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:55,293
Archer: YEAH, 'CAUSE THAT WAS
SERIOUSLY, LIKE, ALL THE CASH I
HAD ON ME, SO...
245
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:59,230
SO, IF I WIN, I SPEND A NIGHT
OF PASSION WITH YOUR EXQUISITE
WIFE.
246
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,264
Archer: MY WHAT?
247
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:01,399
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
248
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,234
OH, YES, MY WIFE. OF COURSE.
249
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,335
YEAH, IT'S A DEAL.
250
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:07,104
BUT IF I WIN, YOU TELL ME WHERE
THE BOMB --
251
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,506
BACCARAT!
Archer: WHAT?
252
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,440
MR. SINGH WINS.
253
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:10,908
Archer: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE WERE GOING?
254
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,643
THE VON ZEPPELIN SUITE.
255
00:10:12,678 --> 00:10:15,780
I SHALL EXPECT HER WITHIN THE
HOUR.
256
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:18,449
Archer: SHE'S NOT GONNA BE
HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
257
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:21,252
UM, WHAT, ARE YOU MOSTLY
PAID IN TIPS?
258
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,587
ALMOST ENTIRELY, SIR.
259
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,155
Archer: HUH.
260
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,890
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
MM-HMM.
261
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,793
Malory: WELL, WHOSE FAULT IS
THAT?
Lana: I -- YOU --
262
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:32,329
Malory: PRANCING AROUND IN
YOUR FIACCI KNOCKOFFS,
BLATHERING ABOUT YOUR VULVA?
263
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,864
Lana: HEY, FIRST OF ALL --
264
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:37,235
Malory: I'M JUST SAYING,
YOU'RE DRIVING CYRIL STRAIGHT
TOWARD ANOTHER WOMAN.
265
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,669
Lana: [ LAUGHS ] CYRIL?
266
00:10:38,705 --> 00:10:39,804
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?
267
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,306
MALLORY, SERIOUSLY.
268
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,140
LOOK AT ME.
269
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:42,807
LOOK AT ME!
270
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,041
Cyril: [ GROANS ]
271
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,010
LOOK AT AND CHOKE ME!
272
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:46,811
OH, YES, YES!
273
00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,846
Cyril: OH, MY GOD, WHAT AM I
DOING?
274
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,215
Pam: YOU'RE RUINING YOUR
LIFE, YOU IDIOT!
275
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:52,116
[ CHUCKLES ]
276
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,685
Pam: AND MAKING IT HARD TO
DROP A DEUCE.
277
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:58,355
Lana: UH, I'M SORRY, WHAT?
Archer: YOU. NOW.
LED ZEPPELIN SUITE.
278
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,325
Lana: YOU HAVE NO PROOF
SINGH'S THE BOMBER.
279
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,659
Archer: HE HINTED, LANA...
Lana: THAT'S PROFILING.
280
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,694
Archer: ...THAT THE PROOF WAS
IN HIS CABIN.
281
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,363
Malory: REALLY?
Archer: YES!
282
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,065
SO GO DOWN THERE AND FIND IT
WHILE I GO FIND THE BOMB.
283
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,501
Malory: UGH.
BOMBS, BOMBERS, VULVAS.
284
00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:12,303
YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST RUINING MY
TRIP.
285
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,237
Archer: UH...
286
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,439
Malory: WELL, DON'T STAND
HERE GAPING AT ME!
287
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,876
GO THWART SOMETHING!
288
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,480
NO RUNNING!
289
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,382
Archer: ZIP IT, ZIPPERFACE!
OH!
290
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,917
Archer: OH, KIDDING, SORRY.
291
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:28,119
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT NERDY
FRUIT-BASKET STEWARD?
292
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,954
UH, CHECK THE
KAISER WILHELM SUITE.
293
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:34,058
Archer: MAN, YOU REALLY NEED
NEW NAMES ON THE -- HEY, WHAT
WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?
294
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:37,795
THINGS FOR AUTHORIZED
PERSONNEL ONLY, SO DON'T GO IN
THERE.
295
00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:38,830
IT'S VERBOTEN!
296
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:39,764
Archer: AH, OKAY.
297
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,633
PROBABLY MERITS A FOLLOW-UP.
298
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,067
Cyril: ARCHER?
Archer: CYRIL, WHAT ARE --
299
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,735
Cyril: ARCHER, I NEED YOUR
HELP.
300
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,437
I THINK I'M LOSING IT HERE, MAN.
301
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:49,907
Archer: WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?
MY MOTHER'S -- WHY ARE YOU
WEARING MY MOTHER'S ROBE?!
302
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:50,742
Cyril: I CAN EXPLAIN THIS!
303
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,276
Archer: I DON'T THINK I WANT
YOU TO.
304
00:11:52,311 --> 00:11:54,311
Cyril: SEE, IT ALL STARTED
WHEN YOU AND LANA --
305
00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,680
Archer: CYRIL, YOU SHOULD
TELL HER THIS.
306
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,914
Cyril: I TRIED!
307
00:11:56,949 --> 00:12:00,117
BUT YOU WERE NAKED, AND IT WAS
ALL VULVA THIS AND VULVA THAT.
308
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,988
Archer: YEAH, AND AS YOU
STAND HERE, DICK AND/OR BALLS
CARESSED BY MY MOTHER'S ROBE --
309
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:06,124
UGH! -- LANA IS WAITING FOR YOU.
310
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,624
Cyril: REALLY? WHERE?
311
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,594
Archer: THE LED ZEPPELIN
SUITE.
312
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,395
Cyril: THERE'S A VON ZEPPELIN
SUITE.
313
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,765
Archer: WHICH I'M SURE IS
WHAT I MEANT, SO GO!
314
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:14,732
Cyril: THANKS, ARCHER.
315
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:15,567
YOU'RE THE BEST.
316
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:16,701
Archer: I KNOW.
317
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,037
[ CHUCKLES ]
318
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:22,740
Cyril: SO, YES, THE BOTTOM
LINE IS THAT I WAS UNFAITHFUL TO
319
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:27,278
YOU TWO -- WELL, THREE TIMES, I
GUESS, IF A DRY-HUMPY CHOKER
COUNTS.
320
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:31,816
AND IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT IN YOUR
HEART TO FORGIVE ME, I WILL
FORGIVE YOU.
321
00:12:31,851 --> 00:12:34,185
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS,
LANA.
322
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:36,420
IT'S FORGIVEY.
WHICH IS NOT A WORD.
323
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,822
COME ON, FIGGIS!
324
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,791
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
325
00:12:40,827 --> 00:12:42,527
[ GASPS ]
Lana: OH, WHY?
326
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:45,963
HELLO.
Cyril: SO, THAT'S YOUR IDEA
OF A BREAK, HUH?
327
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,732
Lana: OH, CYRIL, IT'S NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
328
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,401
Malory: WELL, THEN, WHAT IS
IT?
329
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,604
Pam: OKAY, SO, CYRIL GOT IN
OVER HIS HEAD.
330
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,239
Malory: JESUS GOD, DID HE
KILL HER?
331
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:58,442
Pam: NO, NO, NO.
HE RAN FROM HER TO GO CONFESS TO
LANA.
332
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:01,479
BUT, SO, THEN THIS ONE STARTS
FREAKING OUT, AND LONG STORY
333
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:04,014
SHORT, I KIND OF HAD TO DROWN
HER IN THE TUB.
334
00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,316
Malory: SO, YOU KILLED HER?
335
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:06,650
[ COUGHING ]
336
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,186
Pam: APPARENTLY NOT, SO...
337
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:09,987
GOOD NEWS.
338
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,122
Lana: SHUT UP, PAM.
339
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:13,357
AND DID CYRIL RUN BY HERE CRYING
IN A WOMAN'S BATHROBE?
340
00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:15,226
Malory: WELL, IT WOULDN'T
SURPRISE ME.
341
00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:17,028
YOU'RE DRIVING HIM STARK RAVING
MAD.
342
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,262
Lana: WHAT DID I DO?
343
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,330
Malory: WHAT YOU DO?
344
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,732
RUNNING AROUND ALL UP AND DOWN
THIS STUPID BLIMP --
345
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,100
Pam: AGAINST THE RULES.
346
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,470
Malory: ...HALF-NAKED, TITS
BOUNCING AROUND LIKE YOU'RE AT A
347
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,238
RODEO, THEN GOING BACK TO SOME
BILLIONAIRE'S SUITE?
348
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,408
Lana: I WAS TRYING TO STOP A
BOMB PLOT.
349
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:34,311
Malory: OH, MY GOD.
THERE IS NO BOMB!
350
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,179
Pam: MORE GOOD NEWS.
351
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:36,914
Lana: AND JUST HOW DO YOU
KNOW THAT?
352
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,148
Malory: UGH.
353
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,718
BECAUSE I MADE THE BOMB THREAT.
354
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:43,855
TRUDY BEEKMAN BOOKED THE VERY
LAST TICKET ON THIS FLIGHT, SO
355
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:47,057
IT WAS ALL, "MEH, MEH, MEH, I'M
TRUDY BEEKMAN.
356
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:51,362
I'M ON THE CO-OP BOARD, AND I'M
GOING ON A BLIMP.
357
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:52,863
MEH!"
358
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:55,499
SO, YES, I MADE A PHONY BOMB
THREAT.
359
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,501
Pam: GOOD FOR YOU.
360
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:57,501
Lana: [ SIGHS ]
361
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:58,569
AND YET YOU LECTURE ME.
362
00:13:58,604 --> 00:13:59,303
[ RINGING ]
363
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,771
LOVELY.
Archer: MM, YELLO!
364
00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:03,541
Lana: SO, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOUR MOTHER
365
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,243
MADE A PHONY BOMB THREAT JUST TO
GET A FREE RIDE ON A BLIMP?
366
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,379
Archer: I'D SAY THAT'S FAIRLY
CLASSIC HER.
367
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,346
Malory: OH, SHUT UP.
368
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,382
Archer: AND THEN I'D JUST
SORT OF LAUGH...
369
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:15,219
[ BEEPING ]
...AT THE, UH, UM -- THE
WHATCHAMACALLIT...
370
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:17,222
IRONY?
371
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:23,460
[ BEEPING ]
Lana: THERE'S ACTUALLY A
BOMB ON BOARD?
372
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,130
ARCHER?
ARCHER -- OH, WHAT THE HELL?!
373
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,832
WHERE THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU GOING?
Archer: I GOT TO GET MY
TURTLENECK.
374
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,168
Lana: WHAT THE --
Archer: I'M NOT DEFUSING A
BOMB IN THIS.
375
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:32,770
NO RUNNING!
Archer: SHUT UP!
376
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,738
OH, AND, LANA, MAYBE YOU OUGHT
TO GRAB THE KRAUT.
377
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,007
HE'S THE BOMBER.
[ GUN COCKS ]
GOTT IM HIMMEL!
378
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,576
WHAT IS THIS?!
379
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:42,213
Lana: YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS,
FRITZ, SO SHUT YOUR SCHNITZEL
HOLE AND DISARM IT.
380
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,081
AH, I GET IT.
381
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:47,718
THE GERMAN GUY WITH THE SCAR
MUST BE THE BAD GUY.
382
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,721
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THIS
SCAR?
383
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:53,324
SAVING A JEWISH GIRL FROM A GANG
OF SKINHEADS.
384
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,192
Lana: OH, JESUS.
YEAH!
385
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,428
UND SO KRAUSS GETS A CURB
PARTY.
386
00:14:57,463 --> 00:14:58,930
Lana: WOW, NOW I FEEL LIKE AN
ASSHOLE.
387
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,031
YOUR WORDS.
388
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,699
Lana: BUT COULD YOU BE A LAMB
AND DISARM IT ANYWAY?
389
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:03,601
YEAH, PROBABLY.
[ GUNSHOTS ]
390
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:04,768
Lana: WHA--
391
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,637
Archer: OKAY, I GOT THE
TURTLENECK AND MY WIRE CUTTERS.
392
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:08,106
NOW, WHERE ARE WE?
393
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:11,242
Lana: WE'RE AT YOU JUST SHOT
THE GUY WHO COULD DISARM THE
BOMB, JACKASS!
394
00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:12,676
Archer: I DIDN'T SHOOT HIM!
395
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,012
YOU THINK I'D BRING A GUN ON
THIS FIRETRAP?
396
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,680
Lana: WELL, THEN WHO DID IT?
I DID!
397
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,649
Lana: CAPTAIN LAMMERS?!
398
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:19,684
Archer: NICE READ, VELMA.
399
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,787
"KEEP YOUR 401(k) IN COMPANY
STOCK," THEY SAID.
400
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:25,189
"THE PRICE CAN ONLY GO UP," THEY
SAID.
401
00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:26,657
WELL, GUESS WHAT.
402
00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,159
Archer: UM, IT DIDN'T?
403
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:32,462
WHO THE HELL WANTS A TWO-DAY
BLIMP RIDE TO LONDON, WHICH IS
OUR ONLY ROUTE?!
404
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,698
Archer: OKAY, SO IT'S A NICHE
MARKET, BUT --
405
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,568
Lana: BLOWING IT UP WILL SEND
THE STOCK PRICE DOWN TO ZERO!
406
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,436
YEAH, THAT'S WHY I SHORTED
IT.
407
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,805
Lana: BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE
OTHER EMPLOYEES?
408
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,275
UM...
Lana: SEE, IT'S THAT KIND OF
SELFISH SHIT --
409
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,242
Archer: LANA, NO!
410
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,577
YOU'LL KILL US ALL!
411
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,946
FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU IDIOT!
412
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:51,281
IT'S NOT HYDROGEN!
413
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,784
IT'S HELIU-U-U-U-M!
414
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,820
Lana: AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ARE
YOU STILL NOT GETTING, EXACTLY?
415
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:59,023
Archer: WELL, OBVIOUSLY THE
CORE CONCEPT, LANA.
416
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,825
SORRY I DIDN'T GO TO SPACE CAMP.
417
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:01,993
Lana: HOW ABOUT BOMB-DEFUSAL
CAMP?
418
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,294
Archer: NO, ACTUALLY,
LACROSSE CAMP, IF THAT HELPS.
419
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,430
I MEAN, A LOT OF THOSE SKILLS
ARE UNIVERSAL.
420
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,398
Lana: SHUT UP.
421
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:08,699
AGENT GILLETTE, PLEASE.
422
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,301
Archer: OH, GREAT.
423
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,270
COME ON, PEOPLE, TALK TO ME!
424
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,706
WHAT ARE WE THINKING?
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
425
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:17,975
WHAT ARE WE WEARING?
MY CRISIS VEST, MR. FAT FACE.
426
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,710
LANA? HEY, GIRL. YOU THERE?
427
00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:21,645
Lana: YEAH, I'M -- HEY, CAN
YOU SEE ME?
428
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,316
I SEE YOUR KNOCKOFF FIACCI
DRAWERS!
Lana: YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH.
429
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:26,184
Archer: HEY, RAY.
430
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,219
UGH!
LET'S SEE THAT IGNITION, GIRL.
431
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:32,090
Lana: GOT IT?
EAST GERMAN CRAP.
PROBABLY A GK-31 OR -32.
432
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,290
Archer: SO, UH...
433
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:36,060
SO ON THE SIDE OF THE TIMER,
THERE SHOULD BE A SERIAL NUMBER.
434
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:38,663
THAT'LL TELL ME WHICH WIRE Y'ALL
NEED TO CUT.
Archer: ALL RIGHT, UH...
435
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,298
Lana: YOU GOT IT?
Archer: YEAH, I SEE IT.
READY?
436
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,332
SINCE FIRST CALL.
437
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,267
Archer: 9-3-4...
438
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,301
[ STATIC ]
439
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,538
...T-X-S...
T-X-X? TWO X's?
440
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,974
Archer: NO, X-S, LIKE INXS.
IN-X-X?
441
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,108
Archer: "S"!
442
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:53,811
JESUS, USE THE NATO PHONETIC
ALPHABET.
Archer: WHAT?
443
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,513
Lana: CHRIST ON SALE!
IS IT "S"?
444
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,347
Archer: DUH!
445
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:57,248
Lana: "SIERRA."
446
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,417
RAY, IT'S NINER-3-4...
447
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,151
TANGO-XRAY-SIERRA.
448
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,219
THANK YOU, DOLL.
449
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,755
NOW, THERE SHOULD BE A DASH
FOLLOWED BY TWO LETTERS.
450
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:05,890
Archer: OKAY.
451
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:09,660
OKAY, SO NOW I WANT YOU TO
CUT THE BLUE AND WHITE WIRE.
452
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,194
Archer: WHICH ONE?
453
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,862
THERE'S TWO OF THOSE.
454
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:16,033
NO -- ONE'S BLUE WITH A WHITE
STRIPE, AND THE OTHER ONE'S
WHITE WITH A BLUE STRIPE.
455
00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:18,236
Archer: YEAH, AND BOTH ARE
IDENTICAL!
456
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,437
NO! THEY'RE NOT!
Lana: UH, RAY, HON?
457
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,373
THEY'RE REALLY SIMILAR.
458
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:24,408
ONE'S A TEENY BIT...BLUE,
HONEY.
459
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,777
Archer: WHICH ONE?
Lana: I GUESS THAT ONE MAYBE.
460
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,846
Archer: SO, WAIT, WHICH ONE
DO I CUT?
461
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,447
THE TEENY BIT...BLUE ONE!
462
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:31,816
Archer: OKAY!
OKAY!
463
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,950
WAIT! STOP!
464
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:36,454
YOU SAID THE TWO LETTERS AFTER
THE DASH WERE OSCAR-KILO.
465
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,488
Archer: WHO?
Lana: WHAT?
466
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,755
"OK" -- OSCAR-KILO.
467
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:39,857
Archer: NO! "OKAY"!
468
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,659
LIKE, "OKAY, NOW I'M GONNA TELL
YOU WHAT THEY ARE."
469
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:43,894
YEAH, AND THEN YOU DIDN'T.
470
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,596
Archer: I THOUGHT WE SKIPPED
THAT PART!
471
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,398
SKIPPED A STEP IN DISARMING A
BOMB.
472
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:49,533
Archer: YEAH, WHICH I THOUGHT
WAS PRETTY IRRESPONSIBLE ON YOUR
PART!
473
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,001
Lana: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO
THIS?!
474
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,736
Archer: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS NOT
SHUT UP?!
475
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,571
[ FEEDBACK ]
Both: OW.
Archer: STOP.
476
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:59,910
ON THE RADIO, WHEN WE ANSWER
IN THE AFFIRMATIVE, WE SAY
"ROGER."
477
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:01,679
Archer: O-- ROGER. SORRY.
478
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:06,484
NOW, IN THE SERIAL NUMBER,
WHAT ARE THE TWO LETTERS
FOLLOWING THE DASH?
479
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,487
[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]
480
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,689
Archer: YOU READY?
ROGER!
481
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,790
Archer: THE FIRST LETTER IS
"B."
"BRAVO."
482
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,559
Archer: THANKS.
SECOND LETTER IS "N."
483
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,228
"M" AS IN "MIKE" OR "N" AS --
Archer: AS IN "NANCY."
484
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:21,064
GOD. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE
WHAT?!
ME OF ALL PEOPLE WHAT?
485
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,299
Archer: NOTHING.
MM-HMM.
486
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,834
Lana: RAY, HON?
OKAY, SO --
487
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,703
Archer: YOU CAN SAY "OKAY."
OH, MY GOD!
488
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:26,937
Lana: RAY, CAN I SHOOT HIM?
489
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,539
IN ABOUT FIVE SECONDS, HONEY.
[ GUN COCKS ]
490
00:18:28,574 --> 00:18:30,474
Archer: LANA, BE CAREFUL!
JESUS, THE HELIUM!
491
00:18:30,509 --> 00:18:33,176
RIGHT AFTER HE CUTS THE
SOLID-GREEN WIRE.
492
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,613
Archer: THE GREEN COLOR IS
SOLID OR --
493
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,447
ROGER!
494
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:37,448
Archer: O-- ROGER.
495
00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,783
CUTTING THE GREEN WIRE.
496
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,717
[ BEEPING CONTINUES ]
497
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,853
ARCHER!
Archer: JESUS! GOD! WHAT?!
498
00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,654
THAT'S HOW ANNOYING YOU ARE.
499
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:45,890
Archer: YOUR MOM'S ANNOYING!
HOW ABOUT THAT?
500
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,491
LET'S GO THERE.
501
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:51,895
Lana: LET'S GO HERE, WHERE,
ARCHER, SHUT UP AND CUT THE
GODDAMN WIRE, ALREADY!
502
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,498
Archer: YOU SHUT UP, AND I'M
DOING IT! GOD!
503
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,432
[ RAPID BEEPING ]
504
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,534
Lana: OH, MY -- RAY!
WHAT'S GOING ON?
505
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,701
Lana: THE TIMER SPED UP!
506
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,037
DID YOU CUT THE GREEN ONE?!
Archer: YES! ROGER!
507
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:01,806
STEVEN! WHOEVER!
Lana: RAY?
508
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,640
WHAT WERE THE LAST TWO
LETTERS?!
509
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,442
Archer: "B," AS IN "BUTT
HOLE"!
510
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,309
Lana: WHAT DO WE DO HERE?
511
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,479
Archer: AND "M," AS IN
"MANCY."
512
00:19:08,514 --> 00:19:09,913
WHAT?!
513
00:19:09,948 --> 00:19:11,481
Lana: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
514
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:15,252
"M" AS IN WHAT?
Archer: "MANCY."
WHAT DID YOU THINK I SAID?
515
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,486
"NANCY"!
Archer: OH.
516
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,822
YOU IDIOT!
Archer: I CAN SEE HOW, UH...
517
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,458
AND THEN I WAS LIKE, "YOU OF
ALL --"
[ GUNSHOT ]
518
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:22,827
Archer: [ SCREAMS ]
AAH! AAH! OW!
519
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,529
EXACT SAME SPOT!
Lana: RAY?
520
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,164
RAY, TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
521
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,065
OOH.
522
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:30,201
DO Y'ALL HAVE PARACHUTES?
Lana: NO!
523
00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,837
WELL, THAT WOULD BE, YOU
KNOW -- PROBLEM SOLVED!
524
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,705
Lana: RAY!
I DON'T KNOW!
525
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,674
PUSH IT OFF WITH YOUR BIG-ASS
HANDS!
526
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:37,642
Lana: [ GRUNTING ]
527
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,942
GOOD LUCK, HONEY.
528
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:40,677
Lana: [ Straining ] OH, IT'S
TOO HEAVY!
529
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:41,612
ARCHER!
530
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,046
Archer: OW! AAH! AAH!
531
00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:44,915
Lana: I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE!
532
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,550
Cyril: YOU'RE NOT ALONE!
533
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:49,153
Lana: [ GASPS ]
BABY! YOU CAME BACK TO ME!
534
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,454
Cyril: WELL, I REALLY --
535
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,423
LANA, THERE'S A LOT YOU AND I
NEED TO TALK ABOUT.
536
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:56,760
Lana: AND LET'S DO THAT,
RIGHT AFTER WE SHOVE THIS HUGE
BOMB OFF THE BLIMP.
537
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,029
Cyril: OKAY, BUT THEN WE
SERIOUSLY NEED TO --
Lana: CYRIL!
538
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:00,865
Cyril: SORRY. HERE WE GO.
539
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,633
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
540
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:04,835
LANA, WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!
541
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,871
Lana: YES, WE ARE, CYRIL!
542
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,539
WE ARE GONNA MAKE IT!
543
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,840
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
544
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:10,741
Cyril: HA!
545
00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:11,675
Lana: WHOO!
546
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:12,877
Cyril: OH, MY GOD!
547
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:13,911
LANA, WE MADE IT!
548
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:15,846
Archer: HOORAY FOR METAPHORS!
549
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,314
Lana: I TOLD YOU.
550
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:18,382
[ LAUGHS ]
551
00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:22,152
OKAY, NOW, THEN, WHAT DID YOU
WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
552
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:25,088
Cyril: UM, WELL, UH, A LOT OF
STUFF, REALLY.
553
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,390
[ EXPLOSION ]
554
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,093
STARTING WITH THE FACT WE JUST
BOMBED IRELAND.
555
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:32,296
Lana: UM...PRETTY SURE THAT'S
WALES.
42573
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