All language subtitles for Archer - S01E06 - Skorpio.en

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:04,303 Archer: SO I GET TO GO TO THE FRENCH RIVIERA ON THE ISIS DIME TO DO WHAT, EXACTLY? 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:07,272 Malory: LOCATE A STOLEN SHIPMENT OF REDEYE MISSILES AND 3 00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:11,576 KILL THE ARMS DEALER TRYING TO SELL THEM -- SPYRIDON SKORPIO. 4 00:00:11,611 --> 00:00:12,978 Archer: IS DIABETES BUSY? 5 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,113 Malory: DON'T UNDERESTIMATE SKORPIO. 6 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:17,148 THERE'S A REASON THE BOUNTY ON HIM IS SO HIGH. 7 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,150 Archer: LIKE HIGH ENOUGH TO REDO MY KITCHEN? 8 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,886 Malory: UGH! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? 9 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,956 Archer: THAT SALTILLO TILE IS TERRIBLE FOR A KITCHEN BECAUSE IT'S SO POROUS. 10 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,158 Malory: AND MEXICAN WHOREHOUSE-Y. 11 00:00:26,193 --> 00:00:27,859 SO I'M SURE YOUR COOK FEELS AT HOME. 12 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:28,993 Archer: PITA ISN'T A WHORE! 13 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,295 Malory: NOT UNTIL YOU GOT AHOLD OF HER. 14 00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:31,629 - Archer: FIRST OF ALL -- - Malory: OH, SHUT UP! 15 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,032 THE BOUNTY ON SKORPIO IS MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR A NEW KITCHEN. 16 00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,600 Archer: I ALSO HAVE THE NOOK -- 17 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:40,105 Malory: AND THE REST YOU CAN SET ASIDE FOR PITA'S INEVITABLE MEDICAL EXPENSES. 18 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,674 Archer: OH, LIKE, ONE TIME THAT HAPPENED! 19 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,243 IT'S PRETTY LATE, THOUGH. WHY DON'T YOU, UH, TAKE A CAB? 20 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:47,980 Pita: [ Mexican accent ] MR. STERLING? I HAVE PROBLEM. 21 00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,214 Archer: I'LL PAY FOR IT. 22 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,115 Pita: [ VOMITING ] Archer: AGAIN? 23 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:54,052 SERIOUSLY, PITA. YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE. 24 00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:55,119 AGAIN?! 25 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,689 THIS WAS, UH, SUPPOSED TO BE COCONUT SHRIMP. 26 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:01,393 ONE, THREE TIMES. BUT IT'S THE POPE'S FAULT SHE WON'T LET ME WEAR A CONDOM. 27 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,362 Malory: WHY DON'T YOU WEAR A VASECTOMY?! 28 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,564 Archer: THIS AGAIN? DON'T YOU WANT A GRANDKID? 29 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,232 Malory: WELL, IF I DID, I'D JUST SCRAPE ALL YOUR PREVIOUS 30 00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:11,036 MISHAPS INTO A BIG PILE AND KNIT A ONESIE FOR IT. 31 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,036 Archer: JESUS CHRIST! 32 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,239 Malory: SORRY, I'VE BEEN FASTING, AND I'M EDGY. 33 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,373 Archer: STILL, THOUGH. Malory: STERLING! 34 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,641 Archer: OKAY. 35 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,777 IF THERE'S MONEY LEFT AFTER THE KITCHEN, THEN VASECTOMY MAYBE. 36 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,647 Malory: SO YOU DO WANT THE ASSIGNMENT. 37 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:22,880 Archer: YEAH, I WANT IT! 38 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,683 Malory: YOU REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT IT? 39 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:25,917 Archer: YES. I REALLY WANT IT. 40 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:27,819 Malory: WELL, TOO BAD. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT. 41 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:28,887 Lana: WOMP-WOMP! 42 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,855 Archer: WHY DOES SHE GET THE MISSION?! 43 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:31,923 Malory: BECAUSE I SAID SO. 44 00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,859 EITHER WAY, WE HAVE A PLANE TO CATCH. 45 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,193 Archer: WE?! WHY ARE YOU GOING? 46 00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:38,397 Malory: I'M GOING TO, UM, A CONFERENCE. 47 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,866 Archer: OH, WELL, ISN'T THAT CONVENIENT? 48 00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:44,769 Lana: IF YOU THINK THAT'S CONVENIENT, WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY NEW KITCHEN. 49 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:46,972 Malory: HA! SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, YOU SHOULD 50 00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:48,607 LOOK THROUGH SOME OF HER DESIGN CATALOGS. 51 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:22,774 Cyril: SO, ZOOM, YOU'RE JUST JETTING OFF TO FRANCE. 52 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,042 ISN'T THAT KIND OF SUDDEN? 53 00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:27,045 Lana: NO, BABY. SUDDEN IS WANTING TO MOVE IN 54 00:02:27,081 --> 00:02:28,613 WITH SOMEBODY AFTER ONLY FOUR MONTHS. 55 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,382 Cyril: TALKING! JUST TALKING ABOUT IT. 56 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:34,719 YOU KNOW, I MEAN, GEEZ, I MOVED IN WITH MY LAST GIRLFRIEND AFTER FOUR WEEKS. 57 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,488 Lana: WHAT ARE YOU, A LESBIAN? 58 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,190 Pam: WHY? WOULD YOU BE INTO THAT? JUST CURIOUS. 59 00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:43,195 WHICH WAS AN ODD WORD CHOICE RIGHT THERE, AND AM I TALKING OUT LOUD? 60 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:44,129 Malory: NOW REMEMBER. 61 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,997 I WANT THE ENTIRE DATA SYSTEM ON 62 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:49,868 THOSE NEW SERVERS, OR I WILL JUST MAKE IT RAIN PINK SLIPS! 63 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,470 FEAR IS A POOR MOTIVATOR. 64 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,438 Cyril: LANA, I WANT YOU TO CALL OR TEXT ME AT THE TOP OF 65 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,907 EVERY HOUR, AND I'LL CALL OR TEXT AT -- 66 00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:58,076 Lana: YEAH, I'M GONNA BE KIND OF BUSY, HON. 67 00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,611 Cyril: WELL, IT'S ALL ON THE SCHEDULE. 68 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,546 Lana: OH, NO, HONEY, THE DOORS ARE CLOSING, AND I DIDN'T 69 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,148 - GET THE -- - Archer: OH. SO CLOSE. 70 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,985 Lana: SO, YOUR CONFERENCE WOULDN'T BE FOR CONTROL FREAKS 71 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,154 WHO HAVE TO MICROMANAGE EVERYTHING, WOULD IT? 72 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,990 Malory: NO! THAT'S NOT WHY I'M -- BUT, LOOK, 73 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,558 YOU BE CAREFUL WITH SKORPIO. 74 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,159 HE WON'T HESITATE TO KILL YOU. 75 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,295 Lana: UNLESS I GET SMOTHERED TO DEATH FIRST. 76 00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,164 Malory: OH, WELL, THAT'S JUST PATHETIC. 77 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,366 BUT EVEN THOUGH CYRIL MAY BE CLINGY -- 78 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:23,401 Lana: OH, SARAN WRAP COULD TAKE A LESSON. 79 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:25,003 Malory: YOU USED TO COMPLAIN 80 00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:27,238 CONSTANTLY THAT STERLING WAS EMOTIONALLY DISTANT. 81 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,440 Lana: YEAH. I WAS JUST BEING NICE, THOUGH. 82 00:03:29,475 --> 00:03:30,576 Malory: I WONDER IF HE'S LIKE 83 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,545 THAT BECAUSE I USED TO SPANK HIM WITH A WOODEN SPOON. 84 00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,146 Lana: UH, YEAH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 85 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,382 BUT IT MIGHT EXPLAIN THE PING-PONG PADDLE. 86 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,383 MERCI! 87 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,519 Malory: MY POINT IS, DEAR, YOU CAN TRUST CYRIL. 88 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,922 NOW, YOU GO HAVE A FUN ASSASSINATION. 89 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,089 Lana: UH, OKAY. 90 00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:47,259 UH, AND YOU GO HAVE FUN AT YOUR THING. 91 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,161 Malory: OH, I WILL. BYE, DEAR. 92 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,263 DID YOU RENT A BOAT? 93 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,530 [ Russian accent ] DA! 94 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,800 IS VERY PRETTY NICE BOAT. 95 00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,269 Malory: IT BETTER BE, MR. SEX TAPE. 96 00:03:58,304 --> 00:04:00,071 AND YOU, SCUFF THAT LUGGAGE, AND 97 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,341 I'LL CUT YOUR HAMSTRINGS FOR YOU. 98 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,009 Pam: YOU KNOW, I THINK WE'RE MAKING SOME PROGRESS. 99 00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,211 WHERE? IN OPPOSITE WORLD? 100 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,179 WE'RE NEVER GONNA FINISH ALL THIS. 101 00:04:08,214 --> 00:04:10,115 Pam: WE CAN IF CERTAIN PEOPLE WOULD HELP. 102 00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,183 Krieger: I'M SORRY, ARE YOU ADDRESSING ME? 103 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:15,720 BECAUSE YOUR AUTHORITY IS NOT RECOGNIZED IN FORT KICK-ASS. 104 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,522 UGH! MR. ARCHER, YOU COULD HELP. 105 00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,192 Archer: HEY, I'M HELPING CYRIL. 106 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:21,226 TEXT HER AGAIN. 107 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,594 Cyril: I AM, IF YOU'D SHUT UP. 108 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,462 Archer: AND REALLY POUR OUT YOUR FEELINGS. 109 00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:26,464 Pam: DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. HE'S JUST TRYING TO -- 110 00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:29,334 Archer: SHUT UP! CYRIL, BARE YOUR SOUL. 111 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:33,371 SO, DID I SAY IS NICE BOAT, OR WHAT? 112 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:36,207 Malory: YES, NIKOLAI, YOU CERTAINLY DID. 113 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:41,012 WHICH HOPEFULLY EXPLAINS MY SHOCK AT FINDING MYSELF ABOARD THE CHUM GUZZLER! 114 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,947 [ CHUCKLES ] 115 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,348 I AM JUST GETTING THAT. 116 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,851 Malory: WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE NOT GETTING. 117 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,219 Cyril: GIVE IT TO ME! Pam: NO! 118 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,555 Cyril: PAM, I'M SERIOUS! GIVE ME MY PHONE! 119 00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:51,956 Pam: CYRIL, GODDAMN IT. 120 00:04:51,991 --> 00:04:53,057 YOU'RE SMOTHERING LANA. 121 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,759 Cyril: PAM, I WILL HIT YOU IN THE FACE! 122 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,061 OW! 123 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,628 Archer: DON'T LISTEN TO HER, CYRIL. 124 00:04:57,664 --> 00:05:01,266 YOU KNOW, IF THERE'S ONE THING WOMEN TOTALLY LOVE, IT'S TO BE SMOTHERED BY MEN. 125 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,001 [ CHUCKLES ] LIKE YOU'D KNOW. 126 00:05:03,037 --> 00:05:04,335 Archer: OR CHOKED, IN YOUR CASE. 127 00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,404 Pam: CYRIL, TRUST ME. GIVE HER SOME SPACE. 128 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,839 Cyril: BUT WHY HASN'T SHE CALLED? 129 00:05:07,875 --> 00:05:09,907 I MEAN, WHAT IF SHE'S IN DANGER OR -- 130 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,211 Archer: CYRIL, COME ON! WORST-CASE SCENARIO, HER COVER 131 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:16,448 GOT BLOWN, AND SKORPIO'S RAPING HER SENSELESS BEFORE HE CHOPS 132 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,349 HER BATTERED CORPSE INTO FISH FOOD. 133 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:20,418 Cyril: OH, MY GOD. Pam: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 134 00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:22,487 Archer: WHAT? I SAID WORST-CASE. 135 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:26,291 KROSHKรก, LEAVE THAT TO YOUR FIELD AGENT. 136 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,393 WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS MICROMANAGE? 137 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,995 Malory: I DON'T! 138 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,965 AND IF YOU WILL RECALL, I USED TO BE AN EXCELLENT FIELD AGENT. 139 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:34,732 DA. 140 00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,635 IS WHY I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. 141 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:41,205 Malory: MY GOD, KOLYA, WE WERE SO YOUNG. YOUNG. AND IN LOVE. 142 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,840 AND IN BERLIN. 143 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:47,278 Malory: ON THAT MAGICAL, MOONLIT NIGHT, BENEATH THE BRIDGE OF SPIES. 144 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:51,215 THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU BREAK MY HEART AND DISAPPEAR FOR NINE MONTHS. 145 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:55,787 Malory: KOLYA, THERE'S -- THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU. 146 00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:58,123 [ SPUTTERS ] WHAT IS IN THIS DRINK?! 147 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,692 OH, SORRY. IS ICE FROM COOLER. 148 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,528 SOMEHOW IT GOT BUTTER ALL OVER IT. 149 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,662 [ WOMAN SCREAMS ] 150 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,965 HEY! DON'T BE QUEEN OF DRAMA. 151 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,000 Malory: THAT WASN'T ME, YOU IDIOT! 152 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,802 [ WOMAN SCREAMING ] 153 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:11,803 [ GASPS ] 154 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,871 OH, DEAR GOD. 155 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:14,939 Archer: CYRIL, STOP. 156 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,441 Cyril: IT'S LANA. HERE! GIVE ME! 157 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,542 Archer: IT'S MY PHONE. 158 00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:19,010 PAM PUT YOURS IN THE BLENDER. 159 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,545 Pam: IT'S CALLED TOUGH LOVE, CYRIL. 160 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:22,881 Krieger: THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS PHONE. 161 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,749 Archer: MYELLO? MOTHER? 162 00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,451 WHAT?! REALLY? 163 00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,652 A-AND YOU'RE SURE IT WAS LANA? 164 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:30,054 Cyril: WHAT WAS LANA?! Archer: OKAY, I'M ON IT. 165 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,424 Cyril: COME ON! Archer: WHAT? YES. GOD! 166 00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:33,424 Cyril: WHAT DID SHE SAY? 167 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,961 Archer: WELL, SHE'S STILL REALLY PRO-VASECTOMY. 168 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,029 Cyril: ABOUT LANA! Archer: OH, RIGHT. YEAH. 169 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:42,100 SO, UH, REMEMBER THAT WORST-CASE SCENARIO WE TALKED ABOUT? 170 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,735 Cyril: OH, MY GOD. Krieger: YES, I REMEMBER! 171 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,437 Cyril: ARCHER, IF ANYTHING -- Archer: CYRIL, RELAX. 172 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,006 I WILL RESCUE HER. 173 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:51,109 SO, KRIEGER, HOW'S ABOUT A ROADIE? 174 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:57,315 Archer: BECAUSE IT WOULD BE NICE TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF DANGER I'M FACING HERE. 175 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,651 Malory: WHAT DANGER? THEY DO IT OUTPATIENT. 176 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,219 Archer: WHA-- NOT THE VASECTOMY. THE RESCUE. 177 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:05,357 Malory: HOW WOULD I KNOW? I'M AT A CONFERENCE. 178 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,326 Archer: WAIT A MINUTE. Malory: YOU DON'T HAVE A MINUTE! 179 00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,895 NOW, WILL YOU JUST PUT A LID ON IT?! 180 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,096 Archer: ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING. GOD! 181 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,398 SHITTY FLYING RATS! 182 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,100 Malory: JUST PUT THE DAMN LID ON IT! 183 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:18,636 Archer: COMMENCE OPERATION SOMETHING ABOUT I RESCUE LANA 184 00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:23,474 AND SHE BEGS ME TO TAKE HER BACK, SO THEN CYRIL COMMITS SUICIDE. 185 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:26,278 SWEAR TO GOD I HAD SOMETHING FOR THIS. 186 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,512 Pam: SERIOUSLY. 187 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,781 ARE YOU PEOPLE JUST BAILING ON THIS WHOLE ASSIGNMENT OR WHAT? 188 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,816 Cyril: WHO GIVES A GOSH DAMN ABOUT THAT?! 189 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,985 LANA'S CAPTURED, MAYBE EVEN -- 190 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,788 Pam: RESCUED! KENNY CRYBABY! COME ON! 191 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:40,458 I BET MR. ARCHER ALREADY WENT ALL DOUBLE-"O"-NINJA ON SKORPIO'S ASS! 192 00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:43,028 Krieger: WHA-CHA! KARATE SOUND. 193 00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,228 Cyril: YOU REALLY THINK SO? 194 00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:49,567 CYRIL, RIGHT THIS SECOND, I BET HE'S UNTYING LANA, TAKING 195 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:53,438 OFF HER BALL GAG, AND SHE'S LOOKING UP INTO HIS STEELY BLUE 196 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,574 EYES AND PARTING HER MOIST LIPS... 197 00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,242 Cyril: WAIT A MINUTE. Pam: YEAH, HANG ON, CRAZY PANTS. 198 00:07:58,277 --> 00:07:59,644 Krieger: LET HER TALK, WOMAN! 199 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:05,250 ...AS HE TAKES HER IN HIS RIPPLING RAMBO-Y ARMS, THROWS HER DOWN... 200 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,384 Cyril: OH, MY GOD! 201 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,519 ...AND THEN UNH, UNH! 202 00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:08,719 Cyril: [ CRYING ] 203 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,621 YEAH! OH, YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! 204 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,523 GIVE IT TO ME! UNH! 205 00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:16,161 Pam: DAMN IT. LOOK WHAT YOU -- SHOULDN'T YOU BE OFF COOKING A RABBIT SOMEWHERE? 206 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,661 Krieger: I'VE GOT SOME IN THE LAB. 207 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:21,532 I MEAN, MAYBE IT'S NOT THAT. BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 208 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,667 Cyril: GIVE ME THAT! 209 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,470 Archer: UGH. JESUS, GOD. 210 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,271 I THOUGHT I GAVE YOU A FAKE NUMBER. 211 00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:28,706 Cyril: WHAT? ARCHER, IT'S ME. 212 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,775 Archer: CYRIL? HEY, I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW. 213 00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:32,610 Cyril: WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, MR. MAN! 214 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,412 NOW, YOU JUST PUT LANA ON THE PHONE. 215 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:36,715 Archer: WELL, CYRIL, I CAN'T REALLY DO THAT EITHER. 216 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,850 Cyril: UH, HE SAYS HE CAN'T PUT HER ON. 217 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:43,354 [ GASPING ] 218 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:45,323 Cyril: ARCHER, PUT HER ON THE PHONE! 219 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:49,160 Archer: CYRIL, BUDDY, LOOK. WHEN I SEE HER, I WILL TELL HER TO CALL YOU. 220 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,097 BUT I CAN'T FRICKIN' TALK RIGHT NOW! 221 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,732 Cyril: ARCHER? HELLO? HE HUNG UP. 222 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,067 PROBABLY 'CAUSE HE'S ALL... 223 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,535 [ GRUNTING ] 224 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,303 Cyril: OH, MY GOD! I CAN'T BREATHE. 225 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,439 [ CRYING ] 226 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:04,675 Archer: [ GURGLING ] 227 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,578 [ SCREAMING ] 228 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,479 Cyril: [ CRYING ] 229 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,916 Pam: AND THAT'S THE REASON I DON'T HAVE SEX WITH MY CO-WORKERS. 230 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:14,051 THAT AND NO ONE EVER LETS ME. 231 00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,720 Krieger: I'VE HAD GOOD RESULTS WITH ETHER. 232 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:18,589 Cyril: [ WAILING ] 233 00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,159 Archer: [ GURGLING ] 234 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,700 Malory: OH, MY GOD. NIKOLAI, SOMETHING'S WRONG! 235 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,335 IT'S JUST FAT DRIPPING FROM KEBABS. 236 00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,805 Malory: NOT THAT! KOLYA, MY PEOPLE NEED HELP! 237 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,141 DO YOU HAVE ANY KGB AGENTS NEARBY? 238 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,174 MEH... 239 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,609 Malory: "MEH" WHAT?! 240 00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:44,415 I JUST DON'T FEEL SO COMFORTABLE DISCUSSING KGB OPERATIONS WITH YOU. 241 00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:46,217 Malory: I TELL YOU EVERYTHING! 242 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:50,421 DA. BUT IS A LITTLE... UNPROFESSIONAL. 243 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,257 Archer: SWEAR TO GOD, LANA 244 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,891 BETTER BE DEAD ON A SLAB OR 245 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,793 BEGGING FOR MERCY OVER A VAT OF 246 00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:58,596 ACID OR A SHARK TANK OR -- 247 00:09:58,631 --> 00:10:01,165 DRINKING CHAMPAGNE IN A BIKINI?! 248 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,267 Lana: AH, SCREW ME! 249 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,568 Skorpio: [ Greek accent ] TWO MINUTES, MY LOVE! 250 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:08,907 I'M JUST NOW AGAIN RESHAVING MY BALLS AGAIN! 251 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,443 Lana: FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO INTERFERE WITH MY OPERATION! 252 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:15,913 AND NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF YOUR BEESWAX, BUT I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH SKORPIO! 253 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,482 - Archer: OH, REALLY? - Lana: NO! GOD! 254 00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,117 I JUST KEPT PUTTING HIM OFF, MAKING HIM RESHAVE HIS BALLS. 255 00:10:20,152 --> 00:10:22,120 Archer: AH. SO YOU CAN HANG OUT ON A BOAT? 256 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,622 Lana: IT'S A MEGA YACHT! 257 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:27,025 AND I JUST -- [SIGHS] I NEEDED A BREAK FROM CYRIL. 258 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,628 Archer: WHO THINKS YOU GOT CAPTURED OR KILLED. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 259 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:31,629 Lana: UM... 260 00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,964 [ SCREAMING ] 261 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,600 [ LAUGHS ] 262 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,835 OH, MY GOD! 263 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,771 UH, I ACTUALLY FORGET WHAT THAT WAS. 264 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,639 I'VE BEEN HITTING THE SAUCE PRETTY HARD. 265 00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:43,374 Archer: JESUS, YOU ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE. 266 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,577 Lana: OH, REALLY? GO ASK PITA WHO'S IRRESPONSIBLE. 267 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,879 Archer: HEY, SHE KNEW THE JOB WAS RISKY GOING IN. 268 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,814 AND SINCE YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR JOB -- 269 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:52,217 Lana: I WILL! ALL RIGHT? JUST GIVE ME, LIKE, A WEEK. 270 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,084 Archer: TOO LATE! 271 00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:54,886 YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, AND YOU BLEW IT. 272 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,020 NOW, HOW'S MY DISGUISE? 273 00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:56,688 Lana: UH, IT DEPENDS. 274 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,155 WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE, 275 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:02,459 TOPPER BOTTOMS, STERN YET SENSUAL SKIPPER OF THE U.S.S. ROUGH SERVICE? 276 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,394 [ LAUGHS ] 277 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,729 Archer: WHAT? THEY'RE YOUR CLOTHES, IDIOT. 278 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,465 Lana: UGH! DAMN IT. 279 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,333 THAT WAS THE GUY IN CHARGE OF THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. 280 00:11:09,368 --> 00:11:11,002 Archer: THERE'S A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN? 281 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,537 Lana: OH, THERE'S EVERYTHING, GREAT CHAMPAGNE, RIDICULOUS 282 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:17,342 FOOD, A WHOLE, LIKE, SQUAD OF HOT LITTLE FILIPINA MASSEUSES. 283 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,143 Archer: SKEET? Lana: PROBABLY. 284 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:23,147 AND I JUST REALLY NEED SOME "ME" TIME BEFORE I HAVE TO GO BACK TO CYRIL AND HIS WHOLE -- 285 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,449 Archer: CURIOUSLY OPPRESSIVE BRAND OF LOVE? 286 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,151 Lana: I MEAN, COME ON. HAVEN'T I EARNED THAT? 287 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,420 Archer: YES, WE HAVE. I'M STAYING. 288 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,321 Lana: NO! Archer: YES. 289 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,889 Lana: NO, YOU ARE NOT! 290 00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:35,426 Archer: YES, I AM, OR WOULD YOU PREFER I TELL CYRIL YOU SLEPT WITH SKORPIO? 291 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,494 Lana: [ GASPS ] EVEN YOU WOULDN'T STOOP THAT LOW. 292 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:40,398 Archer: LANA, COME ON. THIS IS ME. REMEMBER? 293 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,766 Lana: [ GROANS ] 294 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,334 Malory: UNPROFESSIONAL?! 295 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,102 FROM THE MAN WHO USED AN ENTIRE 296 00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:47,104 KGB SURVEILLANCE TEAM JUST TO 297 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,673 MAKE A SEX TAPE OF ME?! 298 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,276 [ LAUGHS ] AND ENTIRE KGB ART DEPARTMENT TO 299 00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:55,113 AIRBRUSH WRINKLES OFF YOUR OLD ASS. 300 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,016 Malory: I WANT TO LEAVE, PLEASE, RIGHT NOW. 301 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,286 SO WHO'S STOPPING YOU? 302 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,487 [ GRUNTS ] 303 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:05,023 Skorpio: MMM. 304 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,258 SMILES, EVERYONE. SMILES. 305 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:11,162 FOR THIS PARTY, EVERYTHING MUST 306 00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:14,065 BE AS PERFECT AS MY BEAUTIFUL COMPANION. 307 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:14,799 Lana: [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 308 00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,200 Skorpio: BECAUSE IN ONE HOUR, 309 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,902 THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS 310 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,104 TERRORISTS WILL GATHER HERE ON 311 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:24,909 THE ARGO TO BID ON MY HUMBLE WARES. 312 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:26,544 WAIT! WAIT! YOU! 313 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:31,315 CHOCOLATE-FOUNTAIN GUY, YOU LOOK, UH... 314 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,551 DIFFERENT. Lana: [ GASPS ] 315 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,053 Archer: UM, I GUESS I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT. 316 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,855 Skorpio: YES, I CAN SEE THAT. 317 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,325 QUICK, BRING ME SOME DUCT TAPE. 318 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,261 Archer: I, UH -- Skorpio: BECAUSE THIS MALAKA IS RIPPED! 319 00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,463 [ LAUGHTER ] 320 00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:47,064 COME, MY DEAR. 321 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,567 BEFORE THE PARTY, I MUST RELAX... 322 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,235 ON TOP OF YOU. 323 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,170 Lana: UGH. 324 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,804 Skorpio: NO EXCUSES, EH? 325 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,706 MY BALLS ARE SMOOTH. 326 00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,108 Lana: AND YOU KNOW I LOVE THAT. 327 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,911 Skorpio: NOT AS MUCH AS I LOVE CHOCOLATE. 328 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:00,945 Lana: [ SHUDDERS ] 329 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:03,414 Skorpio: SO YOU, MALAKA, 330 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,982 BRING PLENTY OF IT, YES. 331 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,985 Archer: I-I WOULD PREFER NOT TO. 332 00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:10,722 "BARTLEBY THE SCRIVENER"? ANYBODY? 333 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:13,391 NOT A BIG MELVILLE CROWD HERE, HUH? 334 00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,126 HE'S NOT AN EASY READ. 335 00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:17,729 Cyril: AND I DROVE HER RIGHT INTO HIS ARMS. 336 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,398 HIS BIG, TAN, MUSCLE-BULGEY ARMS. 337 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,667 Cyril: [ CRYING ] Pam: CYRIL, COME ON. 338 00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:23,801 DON'T LISTEN TO -- 339 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:26,170 WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR NAME NOW, ANYWAY? 340 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:27,338 I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. 341 00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:28,573 Pam: EXACTLY! 342 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,143 Krieger: [ SNORTING ] Pam: SO, WHAT YOU SNORTING OFF ME? 343 00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,711 Krieger: IT'S MOSTLY MSG. 344 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,613 Pam: THE FLAVOR ENHANCER! 345 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,047 WHICH YOU SO NEED. 346 00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,116 Pam: PIPE DOWN, PIPE CLEANER! 347 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,852 AND, CYRIL, IT'S A RESCUE MISSION, OKAY? 348 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,621 PROBABLY FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. 349 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,056 Cyril: YOU REALLY THINK SO? 350 00:13:45,091 --> 00:13:48,292 Pam: I BET THEY'RE FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES. 351 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,495 Lana: WOW. 352 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,496 Archer: YEAH. THAT -- 353 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:54,097 Skorpio: [ CHUCKLES ] 354 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,900 Archer: THAT GOT A LITTLE DARK. 355 00:13:57,904 --> 00:14:01,038 Skorpio: SO, NOW WE HAVE CHAMPAGNE, HUH? 356 00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,340 Lana: UM, GOT ANYTHING A LITTLE STRONGER? 357 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,542 Archer: OR WAY STRONGER, LIKE POISON? 358 00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:09,480 Skorpio: HMM. I THINK I HAVE JUST THE THING. 359 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,281 Archer: OH, MY GOD! 360 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,749 Skorpio: READY THE SHARK TANK 361 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,618 FOR MY GUESTS, AGENTS ARCHER AND 362 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,720 KANE, OF ISIS! 363 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,989 Lana: YOU KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?! 364 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,157 Skorpio: HOW YOU SAY... WOMP-WOMP. 365 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,160 ALL RIGHT, YOU HEARD MR. SKORPIO. 366 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,929 Skorpio: NO, JUST "SKORPIO." 367 00:14:24,964 --> 00:14:27,798 REMEMBER HOW WE'RE DOING THAT FROM NOW ON? 368 00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:28,633 SORRY, SIR. 369 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:32,169 Archer: UH, HANG ON JUST ONE SECOND. 370 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,605 Skorpio: WHERE WAS THIS ENTHUSIASM BEFORE? 371 00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:35,807 Lana: I KNOW, RIGHT? 372 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,408 NOW HE WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE. 373 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,277 Archer: [ LAUGHS ] FUNNY. 374 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,078 ACTUALLY, I'M GETTING THIS! 375 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,780 OH, NO! GRENADE! 376 00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,515 Archer: I HAD SOMETHING FOR THIS, TOO. 377 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,150 UM...DAMN IT. 378 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:49,020 EAT GRENADE, STUPIDS. 379 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,823 Malory: OH, WELL, NOW WHAT?! 380 00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:54,225 UGH! ARE YOU STILL HERE? 381 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,559 Lana: WHERE'D YOU GET A GRENADE? 382 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,894 Archer: HANGING FROM THE LAMPSHADE. 383 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,629 Lana: WAIT. WHAT? [ GUNSHOTS ] 384 00:14:58,664 --> 00:14:59,597 Skorpio: [ COUGHING ] 385 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:01,632 SOULATKA POUTANA! 386 00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:04,068 Lana: WHAT? DID HE JUST CALL ME A WHORE?! 387 00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:06,370 Archer: NOW, WHY ON EARTH WOULD HE DO THAT? 388 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,974 BECAUSE HE TURNS WOMEN INTO WHORES! 389 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,243 JUST ASK HIS SLUTTY MEXICAN COOK! 390 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,677 Pam: OH, MY GOD! YES! 391 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,145 WE SHOULD CALL HER! 392 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,848 BECAUSE I WOULD LITERALLY MURDER 393 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,816 SOMEBODY FOR SOME MIGAS RIGHT NOW. 394 00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:22,720 Krieger: EVERY SINGLE NOUN AND VERB IN THAT SENTENCE TOTALLY AROUSES ME. 395 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:26,824 Pam: AND I AM SO OPEN TO THAT. AND, CYRIL, IGNORE HER. 396 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:30,728 NOTHING'S GOING ON BETWEEN ARCHER AND LANA. ALTHOUGH... 397 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,697 Cyril: "ALTHOUGH" WHAT? 398 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:37,501 Pam: WELL, EVERY ISIS AGENT HAS A COMPANY-ISSUED LIFE-INSURANCE POLICY. 399 00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,671 AND, UH... Cyril: AND WHAT?! 400 00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,041 Archer: YOU'RE MY BENEFICIARY! 401 00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,408 Lana: YOUR WHAT?! 402 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,544 Archer: ON MY COMPANY LIFE INSURANCE! 403 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,112 Lana: OH, MY GOD! 404 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,481 Archer: I MEAN, IF THIS GOES TITS-UP... 405 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,618 Lana: NOW? REALLY? 406 00:15:54,653 --> 00:15:55,786 Archer: OH, RIGHT! 407 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,188 BECAUSE YOU WALKED INTO STRIPPERS DISCOUNT WAREHOUSE AND 408 00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:00,458 SAID, "HELP ME SHOWCASE MY INTELLECT." 409 00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,194 Lana: DISCOUNT?! HELLO! THIS IS FIACCI! 410 00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:05,229 Archer: UH, I THINK IT'S PRONOUNCED "KNOCK-OFF." 411 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,129 UNH! 412 00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:07,298 Lana: UGH! 413 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:11,468 RIGHT AFTER I GET BACK, I AM CHANGING THAT STUPID POLICY! 414 00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,838 UGH! YES, YOU'RE MY BENEFICIARY. 415 00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,274 Archer: [ LAUGHS ] HOW'D YOU GET LIFE INSURANCE? 416 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:20,678 DON'T THEY KNOW YOU'RE IN THE DANGER ZONE? 417 00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:23,014 Cyril: BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. 418 00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,749 THEY COULD'VE FORGOTTEN TO FILL OUT NEW BENEFICIARY FORMS, OR -- 419 00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:29,120 Pam: THEY HAVE TO UPDATE THOSE "BENNIE" FORMS EVERY QUARTER. 420 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,422 [ CHUCKLES ] OUCH. 421 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,891 Cyril: BUT THAT MEANS -- OH, MY GOD! 422 00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:36,093 Krieger: DAMN ASS-HAMMERED SHIT! 423 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,262 Pam: WHAT?! Krieger: BENEFITS! 424 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:42,767 OH, I FORGOT TO SPEND THE BALANCE IN MY GODDAMN FLEX ACCOUNT! 425 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,335 Pam: ARE YOU DATE OF EMPLOYMENT OR -- 426 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,205 Krieger: CALENDAR YEAR! OUCH. 427 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,040 Cyril: THAT'S JUST LEAVING MONEY ON THE TABLE. HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT? 428 00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:53,844 Krieger: I GUESS I WAS BUSY FANTASIZING ABOUT ARCHER AND LANA HAVING INTERCOURSE. 429 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,012 Cyril: [ WAILING ] 430 00:16:55,047 --> 00:16:55,880 OUCH. 431 00:16:55,915 --> 00:17:00,017 Pam: CYRIL, COME ON, HON. WE ALL WERE. 432 00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,320 Archer: AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT. 433 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:06,190 Lana: I DON'T CARE! JUST LIKE I DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT YOU! 434 00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,092 RELOADING! Archer: FIRING. 435 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,327 SO, WHEN YOU FILLED OUT YOUR INSURANCE FORMS, YOU WEREN'T 436 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:11,762 THINKING ABOUT MY TAN, MUSCULAR 437 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:15,165 ARMS OR MY ASS IN THE COMBAT-FIRING STANCE? 438 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,202 Lana: NO! I WASN'T! I DON'T! 439 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,337 I MEAN, I'M -- 440 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,672 Archer: SO FULL OF SHIT, YOUR EYES ARE BROWN. 441 00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,477 NO, THEY'RE -- OH, MY GOD. 442 00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:30,681 THEY'RE GREEN. LIKE EMERALDS. 443 00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,150 HOW DID I NEVER SEE THAT? LANA, YOUR EYES ARE AMAZING. 444 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:36,153 Lana: ARCHER -- Archer: I MEAN, NOT COMPARED TO YOUR TITS, BUT -- 445 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,922 OW! OH! 446 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,523 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! 447 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,692 Lana: YOU! AND PLUS, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! 448 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,562 Archer: OH, RIGHT. HOW COULD I FORGET MR. CLING? 449 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,796 [ GRUNTING ] 450 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:48,732 Pam: CYRIL! CYRIL, COME ON! LET GO! 451 00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:49,666 [ GRUNTS ] 452 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,236 GOD, HE'S STRONGER THAN HE LOOKS! 453 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:54,905 Krieger: GET HIM OUT OF HERE! 454 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:59,977 BECAUSE THESE CORPORATE BAGMUNCHERS OWE ME $630 FOR MY 455 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,147 GODDAMN FLEX ACCOUNT! 456 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:06,250 Archer: UGH! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SHOT ME! 457 00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,218 YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT! 458 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,586 Lana: YEAH, WELL, YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT! 459 00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:12,089 Skorpio: KILL THEM, YOU FOOLS! KILL THEM! 460 00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,123 Lana: OH, MY GOD. 461 00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:14,392 I AM GONNA DIE, AND YOU ARE THE 462 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,792 LAST MAN I WAS IN BED WITH. 463 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,127 Archer: WELL, ONE OF THEM. 464 00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,895 DON'T WORRY. I WON'T TELL CYRIL. 465 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,432 PROBABLY. [ GUN CLICKS ] 466 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:22,699 Lana: SHIT! I'M OUT OF AMMO! 467 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:24,335 ARCHER! Archer: LANA! 468 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,837 LANA, DO YOU TRUST ME?! Lana: WHAT? NO! 469 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:27,972 I DON'T TRUST YOU! 470 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,875 Archer: WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. BECAUSE GUESS WHAT. 471 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,781 Malory: OH, MY GOD! 472 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,915 NIKOLAI! OUR SON! 473 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,284 OUR WHAT?! 474 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,152 Malory: OH, SO, REMEMBER THAT 475 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,455 LITTLE SOMETHING I WANTED TO TELL YOU? 476 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:46,457 A "LITTLE SOMETHING"? 477 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:50,527 OH, THAT IS JUST CLASSIC YOU! 478 00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:51,962 Malory: SO I'M A LITTLE LATE. 479 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,530 A LOT LATE! 480 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,967 NO ONE COULD HAVE SURVIVED THAT. 481 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,003 Archer: OH, MAN! 482 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,604 WHOO! 483 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,807 I AM AWESOME! 484 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:05,976 Lana: UGH, AND IT JUST KEEPS ON GETTING BETTER. 485 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:08,045 Archer: LANA?! Lana: ASSHOLE? 486 00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,112 Archer: OH, MY GOD. 487 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,014 [ COUGHS ] 488 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,483 WAS THAT NOT EPIC? Lana: FIRST OF ALL -- 489 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,252 Malory: NIKOLAI, LOOK. THEY'RE ALIVE! 490 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,921 OH, THANK GOD! 491 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,121 THANK GOD?! 492 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,190 FOR WHAT?! 493 00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:22,659 THE LYING WOMAN I RISKED MY CAREER FOR? 494 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,462 THE SON SHE DON'T TOLD ME OF? 495 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:29,099 OR MAYBE MY DAMN SECURITY DEPOSIT? 496 00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:31,369 Malory: PSH! SECURITY DEPOSIT. 497 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,403 WHAT WAS IT, A PAIR OF FLIP-FLOPS? 498 00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,873 Archer: HALF THE BOUNTY. COME ON, I DESERVE IT. 499 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,642 Lana: HA! TOO BAD! SO YOU CAN JUST PADDLE THAT HOLE 500 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,445 IN YOUR FOOT RIGHT ON BACK TO YOUR CHEESY MEXICAN KITCHEN. 501 00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:43,847 Archer: OH, I'LL GET A NEW KITCHEN. 502 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,516 BUT LET'S SEE YOU GET A NEW BOYFRIEND 503 00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,117 AFTER I HAVE A LONG TALK WITH CYRIL. 504 00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,487 Lana: HA! ABOUT WHAT, EXACTLY? 505 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,622 HOW YOU CRIED DURING A TWO-MAN THREESOME? 506 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,892 Archer: WOODEN SPOONS ARE A HUGE EMOTIONAL TRIGGER FOR ME, LANA. 507 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:56,494 Lana: YEAH, AND NOW I KNOW. 508 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,363 AND WHEN I TELL PAM, SO WILL EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE! 509 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,398 Archer: OH, IS THAT HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY IT? 510 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:02,933 Lana: YEP! Archer: FINE! 511 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:04,301 KEEP YOUR STUPID BOUNTY, THEN. 512 00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,870 AND KEEP YOUR PATHETIC, CLINGY BOYFRIEND. 513 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:07,638 Lana: I WILL! 514 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,673 OH, AND CYRIL MAY BE CLINGY, BUT 515 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,809 AT LEAST I KNOW I CAN TRUST HIM! 516 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:12,576 Cyril: OH, MY GOD. 517 00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:14,145 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD! 518 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,178 CYRIL, COME ON. 519 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,514 SNAP OUT OF IT. SERIOUSLY. 520 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,882 IT'S NOT LIKE WE BURNED DOWN THE MAINFRAME. 521 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,184 YOU REALLY NEED TO RELAX. 522 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,051 Cyril: HOW?! 523 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:23,220 MY LIFE IS RUINED! AGAIN! 524 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,223 LOOK, WHAT HAPPENS ON THIS SCRATCHY GREEN OFFICE RUG STAYS 525 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:28,525 ON THIS SCRATCHY GREEN OFFICE RUG, OKAY? 526 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,195 Cyril: YOU MEAN THIS, WHAT WE 527 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,630 JUST DID... 528 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:33,897 YOU'LL KEEP THIS OUR SECRET? 529 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,599 YEAH. GOD! 530 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:37,934 CYRIL, YOU CAN TRUST ME. 531 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,037 YOU KNOW, PROBABLY. 532 00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,705 Cyril: WHA-- PROBABLY?! 533 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,074 WOMP-WOMP. 40258

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.