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1
00:00:02,461 --> 00:00:04,505
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,659
Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.
3
00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,710
You know,
living at my parents' house,
4
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:46,005
that's a temporary thing.
5
00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:49,884
We've been going out for,
what, three years.
6
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:52,595
You're not,
like, getting bored
with things, are you?
7
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,847
Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you something
8
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:57,141
that I've never
asked you before.
9
00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:58,434
Is it kinky?
10
00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:00,144
I don't think so. No.
11
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,896
You don't have
to be embarrassed
12
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,441
if you wanna
add more spiciness
to our relationship.
13
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,194
Actually,
14
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:11,614
maybe you could just,
you know,
15
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:13,783
use your napkin.
16
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,034
My napkin?
17
00:01:16,452 --> 00:01:18,329
MAN: Mr. Levenstein?
Yes.
18
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,914
You have a phone call.
Excuse me.
19
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,540
Thank you.
20
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,126
Hello?
Jim, it's Dad.
21
00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,920
You left the ring at home.
22
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,881
The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,
23
00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:33,427
and I've got the ring,
so don't panic, Son.
Okay? Bye.
24
00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:34,720
(PHONE BEEPS OFF)
25
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,347
Who was that?
26
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,683
Uh...
27
00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,686
That was my dad.
That was my dad.
28
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:45,022
He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,
29
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:48,442
so he was
getting all worried.
You know how he is.
30
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:52,697
(STUTTERING)
But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.
31
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:56,033
I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.
32
00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:00,871
That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.
33
00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:02,665
What?
34
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,083
I've got my own techniques.
35
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,506
Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?
36
00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:12,800
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
37
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,176
Okay.
(BELT UNBUCKLES)
38
00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:15,970
(GROANS)
39
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:17,888
Michelle. Okay.
40
00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:21,726
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Michelle.
41
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:22,935
Psst!
42
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,355
I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.
43
00:02:26,439 --> 00:02:27,773
(SHUDDERS)
44
00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,318
Oh, my God. Michelle?
45
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:31,694
Michelle...
46
00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,113
Michelle...
47
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:35,448
(MUMBLES)
48
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,283
Oh, my God.
49
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,492
Okay.
50
00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:39,660
Well, I made it.
51
00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,579
Where's Michelle? Washroom?
52
00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,998
I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.
53
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,833
Here's the ring, Son.
Oh!
54
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,586
Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.
55
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,589
Look at the rock
on this baby,
Mr. Big Spender.
56
00:02:51,714 --> 00:02:53,507
I hope you
didn't blow your wad
on this, Son.
57
00:02:53,591 --> 00:02:54,759
Not yet.
58
00:02:54,884 --> 00:02:58,763
Your mother and I
could not be more thrilled
for you, Jim.
59
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:00,097
I mean, we're so happy.
60
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,516
And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.
61
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,935
I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.
62
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,687
I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.
63
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,272
I wish your mother
could be here.
64
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,690
Not me.
That's what I wish.
65
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:13,277
You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,
66
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,280
that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.
67
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:17,615
Yes, it is.
68
00:03:17,782 --> 00:03:19,075
You bet it is.
69
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,202
You bet it is.
70
00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:24,163
I cannot believe my son
is gonna pop the question.
71
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,247
(THUD)
72
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,457
What was that?
73
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:27,625
That?
74
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:34,298
Knocking on wood.
What is this...
Popping what? What question?
75
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,424
You're a wreck.
76
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,550
What?
77
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:40,221
You need some air.
You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.
78
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,430
No, I'm not walking...
79
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,723
Listen to me!
It's for your good.
80
00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:43,891
(ALL GASPING)
81
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,059
Dad.
82
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,811
Oh! Son!
My pants!
83
00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:48,354
Your penis!
84
00:03:48,479 --> 00:03:49,897
I got my pants, Dad!
85
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,232
What the hell...
86
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,400
(GASPING)
87
00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:53,692
Jeez! God, Dad.
88
00:03:53,818 --> 00:03:55,069
Wear your pants.
89
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,071
I got the pants!
What are you doing?
90
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,364
He had abdominal cramps...
91
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,740
I can explain all this.
92
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:01,492
Everybody calm
down here, quiet!
93
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,327
Lower your voice.
94
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,622
Disgusting.
95
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,461
Now,
96
00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,006
I came here to do something,
97
00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:19,468
(SIGHS) and damn it,
I'm gonna do it.
98
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,975
Michelle?
99
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,686
(CROWD GASPING)
100
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,397
Hello, dear.
101
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,861
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,
102
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,238
I love you
103
00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:45,661
more than I could
ever explain
at this particular moment.
104
00:04:50,541 --> 00:04:52,501
Dad, the ring.
105
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,045
Oh.
106
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,719
Will you marry me?
107
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:03,387
Yes.
108
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,025
My son.
109
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:30,039
I'm the happiest
man in the world.
110
00:05:30,122 --> 00:05:31,373
(CROWD GASPING)
111
00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:32,750
(CROWD GASPING)
112
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:36,170
We should all be so happy.
113
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,298
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
114
00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,872
Cheers. Gentlemen.
Sweetheart.
115
00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:15,834
I'm impressed.
116
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,337
Marriage is a binding,
117
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,382
unifying, eternal,
118
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:27,554
never-ending,
permanent chaining
together of two people.
119
00:06:30,266 --> 00:06:31,517
Jim, have you
thought this through?
120
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:32,935
Yes.
121
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:37,022
Finch, thank you.
I had been trying to
figure it out for a while.
122
00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:39,942
You know,
when is the right time?
Is there a right time?
123
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:43,988
Then finally I realized,
"Duh, you love the girl.
Marry her."
124
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:45,281
Aw.
125
00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:46,448
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON JUKEBOX)
126
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,076
Oh! Let's dance.
127
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,661
Dance? No.
128
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,580
No, you have
to learn sometime.
Come on.
129
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,712
Don't laugh at me.
130
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,132
Yeah, okay.
131
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,384
Just glad that's not me.
132
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,969
Finch,
133
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,221
you don't think
there's one girl
134
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:11,724
you're destined
to spend your
entire life with?
135
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,935
They're all for me, Kevin.
136
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,522
Not so bad? All right.
137
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,482
Do this.
(GROANS)
138
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,027
I'm sorry.
139
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:25,946
The wedding should be
rather entertaining.
140
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:32,077
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
141
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,336
Bro, that's it?
142
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,380
There's no keg anywhere.
143
00:07:44,757 --> 00:07:46,592
Jim.
Hey, John.
144
00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:50,095
The food and
the drink are really bad.
145
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:53,307
"F" for presentation.
The good news for you...
146
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,516
What's that?
147
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,227
We're gonna be
ushers at the wedding.
148
00:07:59,063 --> 00:08:00,064
(SIGHS)
149
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:03,734
This is amazing.
I don't recognize half
the people in this place.
150
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,818
(DOORBELL RINGS)
151
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,528
At least they
all brought gifts.
152
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,821
Hello.
153
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,198
Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.
154
00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,491
Oh! Hello!
155
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,867
Harold Flaherty.
156
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,535
Hi.
How lovely to meet you.
157
00:08:13,619 --> 00:08:16,205
Please come in.
We've been expecting you.
158
00:08:16,288 --> 00:08:17,414
How was your trip?
159
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:18,665
Delightful.
160
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,834
Who's excited
about the wedding?
161
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:23,045
Anxious might
be more accurate.
162
00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:25,422
We've never met your son.
163
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,132
You'll get to meet him.
164
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,259
Rudy and Sam would
like to meet him, too.
165
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,386
Better bring them
in from the car.
166
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:31,553
They've been
cooped up for hours.
167
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,472
For heaven's sake.
You brought your sons?
168
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,640
Our dogs.
169
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:35,891
We never travel without them.
170
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:37,059
Oh, my goodness.
171
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:40,479
Well, honey, why don't
you go get those
critters out of the car
172
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,688
and we'll start
on some cocktails.
173
00:08:41,814 --> 00:08:42,940
Thank you.
174
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,441
I'd love one.
Long trip?
175
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,026
I'll get the dogs.
176
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:49,405
There's one thing
that'll make this
wedding perfect.
177
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,156
No Stifler.
178
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,867
That's one dick
we are not inviting.
179
00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:55,244
Motion seconded.
180
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:56,620
Motion carried.
181
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:01,166
So, Finch,
what are you gonna do with
that fancy NYU diploma?
182
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,835
I'll frame it.
183
00:09:03,627 --> 00:09:05,295
Then I'll write my memoirs.
184
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,172
You should come
to law school, man.
185
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,133
You know I could
use the company.
186
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,219
Kids,
Michelle's parents are here.
Come on, we're waiting.
187
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,346
Oh, crumbs on the shirt.
That's bad.
188
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,515
Okay, that's fine.
I'll change. I'll change.
189
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,019
Fuckers!
190
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:34,741
Well, polish my nuts
and serve me a milkshake.
191
00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:42,458
What's up?
192
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,504
That's right.
193
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,178
Oh! Cake?
Hope it's good.
194
00:09:56,972 --> 00:09:58,265
Oh, gee.
195
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:01,477
Thanks for inviting me
to the graduation party,
fucker.
196
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,020
(SCOFFS)
197
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,944
Oh! Fucking right, doggy.
That's good cake! Holy shit!
198
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:12,946
Hi. How are you?
Congratulations.
199
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,781
Hey...
200
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:16,867
(GIGGLES)
201
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,037
"Congratulation, Jism!"
202
00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:22,539
Excuse me. Stifler?
203
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,124
Hey, Jim!
204
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,459
Stifler,
what are you doing here?
205
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:26,502
Okay, man...
206
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:27,628
Happy fuckday, assmouth!
207
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,754
Put the cake down.
208
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:29,880
Check it out.
I made it all by myself.
209
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,465
Cute.
What happened to my invite?
210
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,716
Got lost in the mail,
fuckface?
211
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:33,800
Quiet!
212
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:36,470
Bite yourself.
That's what I thought.
213
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,721
I think I can
spell "Cajun Rectum."
214
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,056
Seriously, man.
215
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,307
Oh, Jesus.
216
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,642
Damn it, Stifler.
217
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:42,768
Jim, look what you did!
218
00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:43,977
Look what I did?
219
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:46,730
Look at this shit!
What am I supposed to do now?
220
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,566
Are you happy now, man?
Why are you here?
221
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,901
My dick looks like
a corn dog.
222
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,402
I got cake
all over my balls.
223
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,071
JIM'S MOM: Jim, honey?
224
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,155
Shit.
225
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,698
The Flahertys are waiting.
226
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,325
Do you think
he's upstairs, honey?
227
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,743
Oh, you're fucked now, Jim.
228
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,453
(STIFLER CACKLES)
229
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,121
(GROWLING)
230
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,373
(BARKING)
231
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:08,293
Stifler, get up.
232
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,670
This dog's great!
233
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,421
Is it weird
that it feels good?
234
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,506
(LAUGHING)
235
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,007
All right...
236
00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,968
What about the dining room?
237
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:17,344
I know you'll just love him.
238
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,054
Jesus, Stifler.
239
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:21,890
Stop enjoying it so much.
240
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,350
Lick it up!
241
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:29,439
You little shit.
Take your pants off, man.
242
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,482
(GASPING)
(SCREAMING)
243
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:33,277
Good Lord!
244
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,695
Oh, God!
Jim?
245
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,321
No, it's not
what it looks like.
246
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,031
What are you doing, Son?
247
00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,908
My dogs!
Don't go in there, darling!
248
00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,201
Lord knows what
they'll do to you!
249
00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:42,536
I love this dog!
250
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,204
I was trying to
get him off, Dad.
251
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,956
That is your son?
252
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,000
Back away from the animal.
253
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,085
Mr. and Mrs. Flaherty,
I presume.
254
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,712
STIFLER: Where are you going?
255
00:11:53,005 --> 00:11:55,465
Well, lunch is served.
256
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:58,885
I really hope (STUTTERING)
257
00:11:59,553 --> 00:12:03,890
That we can all
just forget about this,
and move on, and start again.
258
00:12:04,308 --> 00:12:05,601
Start again fresh.
259
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,478
Jim, if you hope to be
the provider and protector
260
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,647
for our firstborn daughter,
261
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,190
you have a long way to go.
262
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:13,775
Thank you, sir.
263
00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,153
They think
you're an angel
264
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,531
and I'm just some
ungrateful dog rapist.
265
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,619
They just think they raised
the proper little band girl.
266
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,121
And, besides, sometimes
267
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,999
it's nice to be
more traditional.
268
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,001
How so? How do
you mean traditional?
269
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:33,503
I'm thinking
about the wedding.
270
00:12:34,171 --> 00:12:36,423
How it's just this one day,
271
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:40,761
one day where
everyone's eyes are
on me for a change.
272
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,096
I've just never
walked into a room
273
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:46,433
and had everyone go,
"Ooh" and "Ah"
274
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:48,852
and "Isn't she elegant?"
275
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,481
That is exactly
how our wedding
is going to be.
276
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:54,274
I promise.
277
00:12:56,902 --> 00:13:00,781
Shit. I got a frosted
ass crack. Hey, Finch?
278
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,367
You want this
for here or to go?
279
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,953
"A witty saying
proves nothing." Voltaire.
280
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,581
"Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.
281
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,043
Boys, anybody seen
the bride's parents?
282
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,045
No? Hmm.
283
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,256
Wait a second.
284
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,633
Come on, Stifler.
285
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,717
This isn't
a graduation party.
286
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:21,843
It's time to go.
287
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:25,430
Wait, hold on!
Jim's getting married,
isn't he?
288
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,058
Holy fucking shit!
This is major!
289
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,227
Do you have the slightest idea
how important this is?
290
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,271
We get to have
a bachelor party. Yes!
291
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:36,274
We celebrate the death of Jim
with a party in his honor.
292
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,193
Chicks and boobs.
Tits and ass.
293
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,112
Titties, ta-tas,
casabas, bazoongas,
294
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:41,947
all up in our frigging faces!
295
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,116
Come on, buck up, fellows!
Show some enthusiasm!
296
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:47,369
It's gonna be fucking great!
Oh, my God!
297
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,331
Finch,
he does make a good point.
298
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,083
Yeah, he does.
299
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,297
You never heard me say that.
300
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:02,426
I do not deserve
a girl this cool.
301
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,970
Michelle said the wedding
was doable, right?
302
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,055
A wedding. A wedding, yeah.
303
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:11,059
I promised her her wedding.
You know, the wedding
of her dreams.
304
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:12,352
Okay, what's the problem?
305
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,728
Dancing.
306
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,648
She's gonna want to dance.
There's that whole tradition.
307
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,275
The first dance
at the reception.
308
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,735
She is gonna wanna dance
Fred Astaire kind of shit.
309
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:21,945
I can't do that.
310
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,364
She learned all
that from band camp.
311
00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:27,242
Okay, so you take lessons,
you know. Right away.
312
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,369
Lessons. Okay.
I have to convince
313
00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,538
her parents that
I'm not a shithead.
314
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,081
Yeah, challenging.
315
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,166
Indeed challenging.
316
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:36,168
But doable. What else?
317
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,087
What else?
I don't know what else.
That's the thing.
318
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:41,006
She cares
too much to tell me.
319
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,842
She doesn't want me to worry
that she might be worried.
320
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,177
So I'm worried.
321
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,595
Recon.
322
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:52,142
You mean, like,
spying on Michelle?
323
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,519
Spying is deceitful.
324
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,899
Extra attention
means you're concerned.
325
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,400
This is true.
This is good.
326
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:01,985
Guys,
327
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:03,695
here's to the next step.
328
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,071
Shut up with that stepping.
329
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,531
Put your glass down.
330
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,992
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
331
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,431
(INAUDIBLE)
332
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,190
We'll find a wonderful one
somewhere, I promise.
333
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,067
We'll keep looking.
334
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:48,406
Is everything okay here?
The study can get a little
chilly sometimes.
335
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:49,533
You have enough blankets?
336
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,784
We're fine. Thank you.
337
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,869
I was kind of hoping
338
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,748
that someday soon,
we could have a little talk.
339
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,833
I'd really like to tell you
340
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,586
why I think I'll make
a good husband,
341
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,213
whenever you get a chance.
342
00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,714
Oh! Why is that?
343
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,299
Come on.
(DOG BARKS)
344
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:12,847
See, I was saying
that soon we could talk.
345
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:16,643
(STUTTERING)
This right now is sort
of the preliminary talk
346
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,772
before the future
longer talk,
347
00:16:20,855 --> 00:16:23,608
which would be like a quiet,
348
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,652
a private dinner talk.
349
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:26,736
(YIPPING)
350
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,405
Let him finish.
351
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,614
(DOG PANTING)
352
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:30,740
(DOG YIPPING)
353
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,993
I'm talking to you.
(MRS. FLAHERTY SHUSHING)
354
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,869
Okay.
355
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:39,457
Good talking to you.
356
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,006
No. These aren't gonna work.
357
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:49,509
Wow!
358
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,097
You guys in
a sporting goods store.
Very good.
359
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,016
Hey, Finch,
360
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,185
I think they got your size.
361
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,562
Oh, beautiful.
362
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,772
Jim needs to learn to
dance for his wedding.
363
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,108
You know,
I think he's screwed.
364
00:17:05,191 --> 00:17:07,819
Of course he's screwed.
He's getting married.
365
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,447
I can't wait to
see this disaster.
366
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,408
What makes you think
you're invited?
367
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,662
(SLURPING)
368
00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:22,626
I already called up
Jim's mom. Got the info.
369
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,919
I'm preparing for
the festivities.
370
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:28,757
It's time for me to boom-boom
with the bridesmaids,
Finchfucker.
371
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,801
'Cause I'm gonna hang out
with my wang out.
372
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,473
And I'm gonna rock out
with my cock out!
373
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,225
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
374
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,352
(LAUGHS)
375
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,145
JIM: All right, Stifler.
376
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,148
This is a little
difficult to explain.
377
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:49,361
Look, you're okay.
You're okay.
378
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:50,612
I mean, I like you.
379
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:51,905
Yeah, great.
380
00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:55,325
You can blow me
after practice.
I'm working, dude.
381
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,118
(YELLING)
382
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,912
Come on! Work it! Hustle!
383
00:17:59,037 --> 00:18:00,413
See, my mom
didn't know that...
384
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,998
Push it! Move it! Come on!
385
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,583
There was a misunderstanding.
386
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:04,709
You're not invited!
387
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,919
Hold!
388
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,384
Dude, how the hell
do you even think
you're getting married?
389
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,303
I've been looking out
for your sex life
since high school.
390
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,180
You what?
Oh! Oh!
391
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,766
(LAUGHS)
392
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:24,896
The first tits
this guy ever saw
were because of me!
393
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,440
The first girl
he ever hooked up with
394
00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:30,276
was at my party,
at my cottage!
395
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:32,696
That girl's
the girl he's marrying.
396
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,906
The Stiffman
showed him the way.
397
00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,242
Can I get a hallelujah?
398
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,160
Hallelujah, Stifler!
399
00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:41,121
But, my fuckers,
400
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:44,290
this mofo right here
does not want
the Stifmeister,
401
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,085
the Grand fucking Facilitator
to attend the wedding.
402
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:48,753
Who sucks donkey dick?
403
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,547
Jim sucks donkey dick!
404
00:18:50,839 --> 00:18:53,591
The answer's no, okay?
I'm sorry.
405
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:54,676
The answer's no.
406
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,802
I can dance.
407
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:57,011
What?
408
00:18:57,595 --> 00:18:59,055
I can dance.
409
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,141
(ALL CONTINUE CHANTING)
410
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,144
STIFLER:
Five, six, seven, eight...
411
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,982
Okay. What exactly
is this here?
412
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:11,192
Left box turn.
413
00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,527
Left box turn. Okay.
414
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,696
Hi. Stop looking
into my eyes.
415
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,072
Sorry. Sorry.
416
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,616
Now how do you know this?
How do you know
how to do this?
417
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,702
My mom made me take it
for three fuckin' years.
418
00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,245
Yeah?
I hated it.
419
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:25,874
No, you're really good.
You should take
ballet or something.
420
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,292
Fuckface!
421
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:28,752
What part of
"this sucks my ass"
422
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,295
do you not
under-fuckin'-stand?
423
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:32,213
This is exactly
what I'm talking about,
Steven.
424
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:35,759
You can't behave like this.
If you wanna
come to the wedding,
425
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,469
I'm sorry,
you cannot act like this.
426
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,137
Are you saying
I'm impolite or something?
427
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,930
Impolite would
be an improvement.
428
00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:43,641
Look, just try not to be,
429
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,143
you know, you.
430
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:48,772
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
431
00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:50,982
Fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.
432
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,026
Wait, Stifler. Hold on.
433
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:56,571
Okay, what if you planned
the bachelor party?
434
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,989
With a dildo show?
435
00:19:59,491 --> 00:20:03,870
Sure. If you can
find the time to fit it in,
go ahead.
436
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:05,497
Surprise me.
Sorry, chief.
437
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:07,040
It only gets
you halfway there.
438
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,458
What do you mean?
439
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,711
I need assurances that
I'm gonna get some quality
action at this wedding.
440
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:13,755
(STUTTERING) I'm sorry,
I can't make that promise.
441
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,299
Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jimbo.
442
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,470
No pussy, no dancing. Okay?
443
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,473
No pussy, no dancing.
444
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,350
How's that for polite?
445
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,476
(RAZZING)
446
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,811
(CACKLES)
447
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,982
Jim, your suspicions
are confirmed.
448
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,902
Michelle wants a dress
that she can't get.
449
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:40,198
The dress she wants is Amsale.
They have a store in Chicago.
450
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,827
If we leave right now,
we can get there by
the time they close.
451
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,994
It's a three-hour drive.
452
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,246
STIFLER:
Three-hour drive?
453
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:50,166
Kick fucking ass!
Are we going to Chicago
to see titties?
454
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,545
We are talking about
getting Michelle
a dress in Chicago.
455
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:55,588
Now, please vanish.
456
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,882
Hey, Finch, what's
the capital of Thailand?
457
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,426
Bang cock.
458
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:01,845
(LAUGHS)
459
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,847
Dude...
Okay, I got shotgun.
460
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,931
(GROANING)
461
00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,438
STIFLER: Let's get this
dress shit over with.
462
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,775
The strip bar's
got free hot wings
before 7:00.
463
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:19,696
Now, Jim, let me handle this.
These are my people.
464
00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:20,947
They're gay?
465
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,574
No, you bleeding imbecile,
466
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:26,077
they have style.
They're cultured.
They're sophisticated.
467
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:27,787
So they're gay.
468
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:31,249
So, mademoiselle,
I'm sure that
you can appreciate
469
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:34,711
that monsieur here
is stuck right between
Scylla and Charybdis.
470
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,422
(CHUCKLES)
Yes, I'm afraid
he's no Ulysses.
471
00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,132
Okay, what's happening here?
472
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,426
You need to speak
to my dressmaker.
473
00:21:41,509 --> 00:21:43,469
That's who would
actually make the dress,
474
00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:45,763
and I'm afraid Leslie
has gone for the day.
475
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,775
All right, she said
she'd probably be at
476
00:21:57,901 --> 00:21:59,319
one of these bars
here on Halstead.
477
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,322
I say we split up, ask around
for a Leslie Summers.
478
00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,615
Right.
479
00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:21,758
Hey there,
sweet little thing.
480
00:22:21,883 --> 00:22:23,968
Hey there,
you sweet manly thing.
481
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:26,054
You know,
I really love your shirt.
482
00:22:26,220 --> 00:22:27,555
Do I know you?
483
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,265
I'm Jennifer.
484
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:34,312
Well, Jennifer,
just relax, take it slow,
and let the good times roll,
485
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,272
because Daddy's
a regular here!
486
00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:37,857
Do you wanna get a drink?
487
00:22:37,941 --> 00:22:40,151
You're goddamn right I do.
(WHOOPS)
488
00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:44,530
Two cold ones.
489
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,367
You know, my friend would
really dig your vibe.
490
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:48,451
Will you wait here?
491
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:49,494
Sure thing, babe.
492
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,412
Good.
All right.
493
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,414
How you feeling, sexy?
494
00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,624
Pretty good.
495
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,876
Whoa! You have a deep voice.
496
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,336
That's not all.
497
00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,420
(LAUGHS)
498
00:22:59,504 --> 00:23:00,713
Oh! Right.
499
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,257
You look
really cute tonight.
500
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,093
Thanks. I guess.
501
00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:07,303
What the...
502
00:23:07,428 --> 00:23:08,429
(SMACKS)
503
00:23:09,347 --> 00:23:11,683
Oh, hey!
Feeling a little frisky?
504
00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:12,850
Oh!
505
00:23:12,934 --> 00:23:16,020
Game over.
What's happening here?
506
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,942
Hey. Any luck?
507
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,443
Not so much.
508
00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:24,153
All right, let's...
509
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,117
This is Bear.
510
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:30,660
Hey!
511
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,037
Wow, you are a bear.
512
00:23:33,121 --> 00:23:34,539
(BOTH ROAR)
513
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:36,666
Yeah.
(BARKS)
514
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:39,877
How much you bench?
515
00:23:40,003 --> 00:23:41,379
How much you weigh?
516
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,923
Why? You wanna try
and pick me up?
517
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,467
Yeah, I think I could.
518
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,219
Yeah, I bet you could.
519
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:51,889
You are big.
I could use a guy
like you on my team.
520
00:23:52,473 --> 00:23:56,519
Are you talking
about our team?
Or an actual team?
521
00:23:56,936 --> 00:24:00,815
What the hell is "our team"?
Hi, where's the girl?
522
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:03,359
(GASPS) What the fuck
are we talking about?
523
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:05,987
You need to take
another look around.
524
00:24:09,323 --> 00:24:10,533
You look fabulous!
525
00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:11,868
Hey, honey.
526
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,704
Oh, my God.
What the fuck is going on?
527
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,330
(ALL LAUGHING)
528
00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,834
Come on,
is that all you've got?
529
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:21,085
(GASPS)
530
00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:22,503
Pussy!
531
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:26,382
I must have came
to the wrong place.
Stifler.
532
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,509
Stifler.
Oh, man.
533
00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:30,386
Hey.
It's so good to see you.
534
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,889
How did you get up the nerve
to check out a gay bar?
535
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,100
Really don't wanna
talk about it right now.
I just wanna go home.
536
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:37,226
Your friend here
was just leaving.
537
00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:38,311
Eat shit.
538
00:24:38,394 --> 00:24:39,771
Did you find Leslie?
539
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:41,272
Fuck your stupid dressmaker.
540
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,899
You guys know Leslie Summers?
541
00:24:43,024 --> 00:24:44,609
We're trying to find her.
542
00:24:46,778 --> 00:24:48,529
You know what?
I think you guys
are out of luck.
543
00:24:48,613 --> 00:24:49,614
Why don't you go home?
544
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:51,824
No. You know Leslie Summers?
He knows her.
545
00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:54,994
My friends and I,
we just drove
all the way from Michigan
546
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,705
to find my fiancée
the wedding dress
that she deserves.
547
00:24:57,789 --> 00:24:59,415
We need Leslie
to make it for us.
548
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,209
Can you please
help us find her?
549
00:25:01,292 --> 00:25:01,334
I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.
550
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:04,545
I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.
551
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:09,383
What are you looking at?
I'm not a steak.
552
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:13,262
Listen, breeder,
not every gay man wants
to have sex with you.
553
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:17,558
Yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
If I were gay, you'd want me!
554
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,602
Really?
Really.
555
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:24,023
I got style. I'm cultured.
I'm sophisticated.
556
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:28,236
And all that just radiates
from your oh-so-sexy self.
557
00:25:28,319 --> 00:25:32,073
That's bullshit.
Everyone wants a piece
of the Stifmeister.
558
00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:33,699
(ALL LAUGHING)
559
00:25:34,826 --> 00:25:36,786
Yeah, right!
560
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,249
Without a doubt.
561
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,252
I'll show you fuckers.
Bye.
562
00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,170
Everybody say bye.
Bye.
563
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:49,674
Bye.
564
00:25:49,757 --> 00:25:51,509
Good luck with the dress.
565
00:25:54,804 --> 00:25:56,180
Give us a drink.
566
00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:02,728
(SONG CHANGES)
567
00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:04,939
(OMINOUS SYNTHESIZED MUSIC)
568
00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:07,650
(CROWD MURMURING)
569
00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:13,364
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)
570
00:26:27,336 --> 00:26:28,880
Mother of God.
571
00:26:46,564 --> 00:26:47,815
Bitch!
572
00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:49,984
(SONG CHANGES)
573
00:26:57,992 --> 00:26:59,577
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
574
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:02,455
What is this, a dance-off?
575
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:06,375
Oh, yeah?
576
00:27:13,716 --> 00:27:15,218
(SONG CHANGES)
577
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:30,650
(SONG CHANGES)
578
00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:52,338
(SONG CHANGES)
579
00:28:30,418 --> 00:28:31,919
(ALL CHEERING)
580
00:28:37,091 --> 00:28:38,426
I love you!
581
00:28:38,968 --> 00:28:40,136
What?
582
00:28:40,553 --> 00:28:43,514
Fabulous. Seeing that
was worth anything.
583
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:46,559
Look, I'm Leslie Summers
and you've got yourself
a dress.
584
00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:51,939
Oh, my God.
Thank you. Thank you.
585
00:28:52,732 --> 00:28:55,192
Yeah, no problem.
Say, who's your friend?
586
00:28:55,276 --> 00:28:56,527
(STUTTERS) Kevin.
587
00:29:01,741 --> 00:29:04,118
Was that the best
night ever or what?
588
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:05,286
Are you kidding me?
589
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:06,495
Yeah, it was amazing.
590
00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:07,997
Hey, guys!
591
00:29:09,707 --> 00:29:13,586
When you get your
bachelor party together,
I manage some girls in town.
592
00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:15,046
Real ones.
593
00:29:15,171 --> 00:29:16,213
All right.
594
00:29:17,757 --> 00:29:19,008
Call me.
595
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:21,761
Damn, Stiffy,
you got some moves.
596
00:29:28,017 --> 00:29:30,311
I told you that guy
wanted to fuck me.
597
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:31,729
(LAUGHING)
598
00:29:32,438 --> 00:29:35,316
I can't believe this.
They're really gonna
make the dress for me?
599
00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,610
They're expecting your call.
Go ahead.
600
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:40,780
This is so cool.
I love you.
601
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,615
Thank you.
602
00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:46,369
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
603
00:29:47,411 --> 00:29:49,121
Well, that worked out.
604
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:53,501
Maybe it's time
we had that special
dinner chat.
605
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:55,378
I'll have turkey.
606
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:02,009
Thanks for helping out.
607
00:30:02,093 --> 00:30:04,845
We're so close
and there's still
so much to do.
608
00:30:07,890 --> 00:30:09,058
Cadence!
609
00:30:20,152 --> 00:30:21,278
Hey!
Hi!
610
00:30:23,614 --> 00:30:27,576
Cadence, this is Paul Finch.
Finch, meet my
younger sister, Cadence.
611
00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:28,911
Nice to meet you.
612
00:30:29,036 --> 00:30:30,329
You're reading Descartes.
613
00:30:30,704 --> 00:30:35,292
Yeah. Cogito ergo sum.
"I think, therefore I am."
614
00:30:36,127 --> 00:30:37,378
Hungry.
615
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,005
Hungry.
616
00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,427
So, when's Mark getting in?
617
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,720
Let's see.
That would be never.
618
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:48,889
Did you guys break up?
619
00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:50,307
How tragic.
620
00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,394
Sorry, Paul Finch.
Girl stuff.
621
00:30:53,561 --> 00:30:55,563
(AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING)
622
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:00,943
Just stay calm.
623
00:31:01,444 --> 00:31:04,196
I'm available,
she's available.
It's all good.
624
00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:07,992
She's a beautiful girl,
and you're you.
625
00:31:08,075 --> 00:31:09,410
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
626
00:31:09,493 --> 00:31:10,703
MICHELLE: Spill it, sister.
What's the problem?
627
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,037
I dumped him.
628
00:31:12,288 --> 00:31:16,208
But it was Mark.
I thought you really
liked him. He was nice.
629
00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:20,588
Yeah, but sometimes
nice isn't so nice.
630
00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:23,549
Wait. Hold on.
Let me get this straight.
631
00:31:23,632 --> 00:31:25,092
He didn't want to do it.
632
00:31:25,176 --> 00:31:27,094
He said he didn't
want to ruin what we had
633
00:31:27,219 --> 00:31:29,138
by deflowering ourselves.
634
00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:31,515
Who the hell uses
the word "deflower"?
635
00:31:31,599 --> 00:31:32,975
(MICHELLE GROANS)
636
00:31:33,058 --> 00:31:34,226
It's like
something Mom would say.
637
00:31:34,351 --> 00:31:35,561
Yeah.
638
00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:39,273
And I'm starting to realize
Mom and Dad's idea of
appropriate behavior
639
00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:42,234
might be a little bit
different than mine.
640
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:44,570
Mish, you're in love.
Shh.
641
00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:46,947
You're getting married.
I mean, what's this like?
642
00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:48,365
It's like it's...
643
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,826
I'm never going to
be able to explain it.
644
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,370
I wanted us to
write our own vows
for the wedding
645
00:31:53,454 --> 00:31:55,164
and now I can't do mine.
646
00:31:56,165 --> 00:31:58,042
How do you explain love?
647
00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:01,253
I guess I wouldn't know.
648
00:32:01,337 --> 00:32:04,131
I don't think
I've ever felt
that way about a guy.
649
00:32:04,215 --> 00:32:05,382
Someday you will.
650
00:32:05,508 --> 00:32:06,675
Maybe.
651
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,136
But in the meantime,
I don't think it would hurt
652
00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:11,180
to get a little
rowdy this weekend.
653
00:32:11,514 --> 00:32:15,017
Jim's got
single friends, right?
Is Finch a possibility?
654
00:32:15,309 --> 00:32:16,769
Finch is bonable.
655
00:32:16,852 --> 00:32:18,521
Yes, he is bonable.
656
00:32:18,771 --> 00:32:19,730
(THUD)
657
00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:20,940
(WATER SLOSHING)
658
00:32:23,901 --> 00:32:27,154
Dickhead. Do not send shit
to my office at school.
659
00:32:27,238 --> 00:32:29,949
Hey, Stifler, why don't
you come in and make
yourself comfortable?
660
00:32:30,032 --> 00:32:31,408
Your letter made
a great impression
661
00:32:31,534 --> 00:32:32,952
on Coach Marshall
when he read it.
662
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:35,037
Let me refresh
your memory, partner.
663
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,873
"Dear Steve, I will
be forever in your debt
if you teach me to dance
664
00:32:37,957 --> 00:32:39,458
"like you did
in the gay bar."
665
00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:41,377
I put serious thought
into that letter.
666
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:45,506
Don't push me,
'cause I'm close to the edge.
667
00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:48,259
I'm trying not
to lose my head.
668
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:50,261
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
(LAUGHS)
669
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:55,057
CADENCE: These are really
nice for a bridesmaid dress.
670
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:58,185
At least something
you can actually wear again.
671
00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:01,272
You don't think
it's too sexy, do you?
672
00:33:01,355 --> 00:33:03,440
I mean, I don't want to seem
slutty or anything.
673
00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:05,359
I'm trying to
attract a decent guy here.
674
00:33:05,776 --> 00:33:08,487
MICHELLE: It's a wedding.
They'll all be decent guys.
675
00:33:09,238 --> 00:33:12,157
I just don't feel
quite like a virgin in it.
676
00:33:12,241 --> 00:33:13,534
Oh!
677
00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:19,957
So, you guys
have to be psyched
to be done with college.
678
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,168
I mean, I swear,
I'm running out of room
in my brain for everything.
679
00:33:23,544 --> 00:33:26,297
There's always room
for Plato and Aristotle.
680
00:33:26,463 --> 00:33:28,340
Some of my favorites.
681
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,011
Excuse me, guys.
682
00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:35,639
Finch, she thinks
you were being sarcastic.
683
00:33:35,848 --> 00:33:38,475
STIFLER: Okay.
It's so good to see you.
684
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,229
You want some help?
Here, let me help
you out there.
685
00:33:42,396 --> 00:33:45,774
There you go.
You keep fighting
the good fight, sir.
686
00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:49,445
That's great.
687
00:33:49,903 --> 00:33:51,196
That was really
sweet of you.
688
00:33:51,322 --> 00:33:52,615
Yeah.
689
00:33:53,490 --> 00:33:55,701
I love old people, you know?
690
00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:56,910
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
691
00:33:57,077 --> 00:34:00,039
Hey, I hate to be
nosy and impolite,
692
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,166
but do you know
Jim Levenstein
and Michelle Flaherty?
693
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,876
Yeah.
Are they here?
694
00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,753
Well, I'm Cadence,
Michelle's sister.
695
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:09,006
I had no idea. I'm their
good friend, Steven.
696
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,215
Nice to meet you.
697
00:34:10,341 --> 00:34:11,508
Yeah, you, too.
698
00:34:11,592 --> 00:34:13,677
Well, they're around town
doing some wedding stuff.
699
00:34:13,761 --> 00:34:14,845
That's cool.
700
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:17,806
But there's still a few
of us in the other room
if you want to join us.
701
00:34:17,890 --> 00:34:19,600
I don't know.
702
00:34:19,933 --> 00:34:22,353
You look so nice.
I feel underdressed.
703
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:24,605
Well, I think you look great.
704
00:34:24,772 --> 00:34:25,856
Thank you.
705
00:34:26,774 --> 00:34:28,442
Oh, here they are.
706
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:30,402
Hi, boys.
Don't stand up.
707
00:34:31,362 --> 00:34:32,613
The dads aren't here yet?
708
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,073
I'll go find them.
709
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,909
Which one of you
is the best man?
710
00:34:36,992 --> 00:34:40,954
Jim didn't pick just one.
Or I mean,
he couldn't decide.
711
00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,123
Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.
712
00:34:43,290 --> 00:34:44,875
CADENCE: Mom,
I want you to meet Steven.
713
00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:49,213
He's friends
of Jim's and mine
and everyone's.
714
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,840
You look
very familiar, Steven.
715
00:34:51,965 --> 00:34:53,967
Really? I'm afraid
we've never met.
Oh.
716
00:34:54,510 --> 00:34:55,969
Well, we have now.
717
00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,137
Oh!
718
00:34:57,388 --> 00:35:00,307
Looks like you
found Samantha's Sweets.
Oh!
719
00:35:00,391 --> 00:35:02,976
Isn't their
chocolate just to die for?
720
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:04,395
You have no idea.
721
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,771
Actually, I do.
722
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:07,147
I love chocolate
more than...
723
00:35:07,314 --> 00:35:08,649
More than life itself!
724
00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:10,984
I was just
saying to your friends
725
00:35:11,485 --> 00:35:13,737
I have something
very precious here.
726
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,030
What is it?
727
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:19,493
Michelle's grandmother's,
my mother's, wedding ring.
728
00:35:19,868 --> 00:35:21,620
Isn't that precious?
729
00:35:21,704 --> 00:35:23,997
Since all of you
are the best man,
730
00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:26,500
I don't know
who should hold onto it.
731
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:27,876
I think it's best if I...
732
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:28,961
Oh, um...
733
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,674
I think you
should get to know us
first and then decide.
734
00:35:34,383 --> 00:35:37,052
You are such
a gentleman, Steve.
735
00:35:37,136 --> 00:35:39,972
I hear that all the time,
but it never gets old.
736
00:35:40,431 --> 00:35:42,141
Hey, Paul,
do you have a camera?
737
00:35:42,266 --> 00:35:44,017
How thoughtful.
738
00:35:44,101 --> 00:35:45,352
(MOUTHING)
739
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:49,148
I must've forgotten
my camera at home, Steven.
740
00:35:49,231 --> 00:35:51,525
Maybe you could take,
like, a mental note.
741
00:35:51,817 --> 00:35:53,026
(CHUCKLES)
742
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:54,653
I won't forget this moment.
743
00:35:54,778 --> 00:35:55,988
I'll bet you won't.
744
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:57,614
Would you care to
join us, Steven?
745
00:35:57,740 --> 00:35:59,283
I'd love to. Thank you.
746
00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:00,826
Good to see you fellows.
Thank you.
747
00:36:00,909 --> 00:36:02,286
(MOUTHING)
748
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,461
STIFLER: Oh, amazing.
749
00:36:10,544 --> 00:36:12,337
What the hell is he doing
near my flowers?
750
00:36:12,421 --> 00:36:15,090
I love the way
the tulips accentuate the...
751
00:36:15,174 --> 00:36:16,425
What do you call
those again, sir?
752
00:36:16,550 --> 00:36:17,843
Double lisianthus.
753
00:36:17,926 --> 00:36:19,219
Lisianthus.
754
00:36:19,386 --> 00:36:20,721
Double lisianthums.
755
00:36:21,138 --> 00:36:22,890
What a pretty name.
756
00:36:22,973 --> 00:36:24,224
(CHUCKLING)
757
00:36:25,934 --> 00:36:29,813
I told him to be nice,
or he couldn't come
to the wedding.
758
00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:31,940
Okay,
I will take care of this.
I will take care of this.
759
00:36:32,024 --> 00:36:33,275
James. Great.
Come on over.
760
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,693
Great, come on over.
761
00:36:34,777 --> 00:36:37,279
You can see
if I forgot anything.
I don't think I... Oh!
762
00:36:37,905 --> 00:36:39,031
We're having a great time.
763
00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,450
I think I've got it all.
Look, look, look.
764
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,411
Sahara and
desert rose for
(MOUTHING)
765
00:36:44,495 --> 00:36:46,538
Your bridesmaids' bouquet.
766
00:36:46,622 --> 00:36:48,707
Give me that. Smell this.
767
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:52,252
It's fantastic.
Fantastic. And... Oh!
768
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:56,006
(EXCLAIMING)
769
00:36:57,090 --> 00:36:58,258
(SQUEALS)
770
00:36:58,342 --> 00:36:59,843
Look at this!
771
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:01,637
(LAUGHING)
772
00:37:02,221 --> 00:37:04,473
Let's go look at
the candelabrum, honey.
773
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:07,059
I think with
the summer blossoms...
774
00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:08,644
Thank you for everything.
775
00:37:08,727 --> 00:37:10,062
What'd you think, girls?
Isn't this adorable?
776
00:37:10,187 --> 00:37:11,522
Bye, Cadence.
777
00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:14,775
Okay, I know
what you're doing. Look,
have you seen yourself?
778
00:37:14,858 --> 00:37:16,443
I can't believe
you're doing this, Stifler.
779
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:18,237
Just calm down, dude.
780
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,905
It's all set.
What's set?
781
00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,866
I'm gonna teach you
to dance like
a Baryshninikov.
782
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:24,743
Oh, yeah.
783
00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:26,161
He is pretty good.
784
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,205
Jim, he's not
doing it to be nice.
785
00:37:28,288 --> 00:37:29,790
He's doing it
to bone Cadence.
786
00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:31,208
Look, maybe we should
give him a chance.
787
00:37:31,291 --> 00:37:32,501
You know, I think
788
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:36,463
that underneath
all the "fucks" and "shits"
and "blow me's"
789
00:37:36,547 --> 00:37:38,590
there's a very
sensitive person
790
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:40,676
who is just
thirsty for acceptance.
791
00:37:40,759 --> 00:37:42,386
That's what I think.
792
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:46,181
Oh, Jim, you've got
to stop masturbating.
793
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:47,307
It's melting your brain.
794
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:50,102
Observe
the fucking Stifmeister.
795
00:37:50,227 --> 00:37:52,396
What is his
defining characteristic?
796
00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,525
He uses the "F"
word excessively.
797
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,444
Thanks, man.
But I also have confidence.
798
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,113
You're one big floppy cock.
799
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:04,032
Look at you.
You got to stand
like a man.
800
00:38:04,116 --> 00:38:06,869
Your posture tells
your partner where to go.
801
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:07,953
Okay?
Okay.
802
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:09,788
Follow my lead.
803
00:38:11,039 --> 00:38:12,624
This is the waltz.
804
00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,334
Waltz? Okay.
805
00:38:15,669 --> 00:38:16,962
Waltz. Okay.
806
00:38:19,381 --> 00:38:20,841
That's pretty good.
807
00:38:21,008 --> 00:38:22,467
You're fucking right
it's good.
808
00:38:22,551 --> 00:38:25,345
I'm gonna save your ass
in this wedding.
809
00:38:25,429 --> 00:38:27,806
Pretty soon you're gonna
want me to shave your balls.
810
00:38:27,890 --> 00:38:31,184
Should I shave my balls?
Do you shave your balls?
How do you do it?
811
00:38:31,310 --> 00:38:32,686
Dude! No.
812
00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:35,522
(STUTTERS)
813
00:38:36,565 --> 00:38:38,275
I'm just... Shaving...
814
00:38:39,443 --> 00:38:41,570
You know, there's
nothing like a local pub.
815
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,405
Mmm-hmm.
It's like real America,
816
00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:45,949
without all
that corporateness
and catchy jingles.
817
00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:47,618
What's wrong
with a good jingle?
818
00:38:47,701 --> 00:38:50,287
I think it was
Voltaire who said,
819
00:38:51,371 --> 00:38:55,626
"A jingle witty
proves everything
for my friends and I."
820
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,462
(CHUCKLES)
821
00:38:58,587 --> 00:39:01,840
Cadence, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
822
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:04,509
You're just in time for
Voltaire's greatest hits.
823
00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:07,596
Voltaire? Stifler, please,
who was Voltaire?
824
00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:10,557
Someone much wiser than you,
I'm afraid, Finch.
825
00:39:10,641 --> 00:39:14,728
Actually, I'm getting
a little burned out on all
the intellectual stuff.
826
00:39:14,937 --> 00:39:16,688
Yeah, me, too.
827
00:39:17,064 --> 00:39:18,607
Being smart is so hard.
828
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:19,983
(CHUCKLING)
829
00:39:22,194 --> 00:39:24,655
I'll give you
some intelligence.
830
00:39:25,739 --> 00:39:28,450
Voltaire can suck
on my balls.
831
00:39:30,452 --> 00:39:31,662
What?
832
00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,414
It's about time somebody
finally came out and said it.
833
00:39:34,498 --> 00:39:36,583
Hey, I'm gonna give you
a quote to live by.
834
00:39:36,667 --> 00:39:38,543
"Love life, get paid,
and then get laid."
835
00:39:38,627 --> 00:39:42,089
That is the basic philosophy
of the Finchmeister.
836
00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:43,632
I like that.
(MOUTHING)
837
00:39:43,715 --> 00:39:44,758
Bet you do.
838
00:39:45,425 --> 00:39:47,844
Really? I don't know
why you do,
839
00:39:47,928 --> 00:39:50,514
because
Finchmeister doesn't make
any frigging sense.
840
00:39:50,597 --> 00:39:51,932
Sure it does.
841
00:39:52,057 --> 00:39:53,433
No fucking shit it does.
842
00:39:55,936 --> 00:39:59,523
Cadence, let's leave
the cray-ton here, shall we?
843
00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:01,775
Whatever. Fuck it.
I'm walking, anyway.
844
00:40:01,858 --> 00:40:06,113
You know, I think
I'm gonna go stretch my legs
with the Finchmeister.
845
00:40:06,238 --> 00:40:07,447
You don't mind,
do you, Steven?
846
00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:08,865
No.
847
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:12,661
Ha!
848
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:14,997
(HUFFING)
849
00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:19,793
It's on like
Donkey Kong, bitch.
850
00:40:20,961 --> 00:40:22,379
Pack it up, bitch.
851
00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:23,922
I'm on it. Thank you.
852
00:40:24,006 --> 00:40:27,467
So, Cadence say
anything about me?
853
00:40:27,551 --> 00:40:30,971
Whatever you and
Finch are pulling,
she seems to like you both.
854
00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:34,224
Finch. She gonna be around
tomorrow night?
855
00:40:34,433 --> 00:40:37,728
No, she's going up to
Chicago with Michelle
for the final dress fitting.
856
00:40:37,811 --> 00:40:39,104
What about her parents?
857
00:40:39,813 --> 00:40:41,732
I think her mom
kind of likes me.
858
00:40:41,815 --> 00:40:45,402
They're going up north
with my parents
859
00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,821
to get things ready
for the rehearsal.
860
00:40:47,904 --> 00:40:49,656
So that's where they'll be.
861
00:40:49,740 --> 00:40:52,576
So don't bother
looking for them
or anything, you know?
862
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:54,911
A wedding. (SCOFFS) Shit.
863
00:40:56,413 --> 00:40:58,665
How do you know
she's the right girl?
864
00:40:58,749 --> 00:41:00,000
I just do.
865
00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:02,210
I'm a better person
when I'm with Michelle.
866
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,087
Nobody else can...
No, shithead.
867
00:41:04,171 --> 00:41:07,549
You hooked up with
one other girl for what?
10 seconds?
868
00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:11,219
Not to mention
you passed on Nadia.
Dumbest fucking thing ever.
869
00:41:11,303 --> 00:41:13,972
You're like
a blind man picking
out his favorite porno.
870
00:41:14,056 --> 00:41:15,849
That shit is crazy.
871
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,605
JIM'S DAD:
This is just the old
pre-wedding jitters, Son.
872
00:41:21,688 --> 00:41:24,232
JIM: It's so forever.
You know, it's...
873
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:28,612
You know,
Michelle is the only girl
that I've been with.
874
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:32,699
Honestly, now,
would you have passed up
sex with Nadia?
875
00:41:34,201 --> 00:41:36,369
Why? Did she say something?
876
00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:38,955
Hypothetically, Dad.
877
00:41:39,039 --> 00:41:40,665
Hypothetically. Well,
878
00:41:40,749 --> 00:41:42,793
you know, Jim,
I'm a married man.
879
00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:44,669
If you weren't married.
880
00:41:45,212 --> 00:41:46,463
She's a college girl.
881
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:47,881
If you were a college guy.
882
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:50,425
In a heartbeat.
Oh, yeah. Mmm-hmm.
883
00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,178
First of all,
what you're feeling
884
00:41:53,303 --> 00:41:55,222
is so normal
and perfectly natural.
885
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,057
Marriage is not about
886
00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,310
animal lusting,
and kinky sex games.
887
00:42:00,393 --> 00:42:02,437
It's not so much about
888
00:42:02,521 --> 00:42:05,649
who's the dog and
who's the fire
hydrant tonight.
889
00:42:05,732 --> 00:42:07,359
It's deeper than that.
890
00:42:07,442 --> 00:42:11,988
The longer a marriage lasts,
the longer you can go
891
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:14,449
without sex.
892
00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:16,952
But when that
magic night does happen,
893
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:19,871
it's all
the more meaningful.
894
00:42:19,955 --> 00:42:21,957
Let me tell you,
your mother, bless her,
895
00:42:22,082 --> 00:42:24,126
can still make me
squeal like a pig.
896
00:42:24,668 --> 00:42:26,169
I mean that
in the good sense.
897
00:42:26,253 --> 00:42:27,587
Do you follow
what I'm saying?
898
00:42:27,671 --> 00:42:29,422
You understand
where I'm going here?
899
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,341
I do. I think...
900
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:32,467
Anything else you need?
901
00:42:32,592 --> 00:42:33,718
No. No. That's...
902
00:42:36,179 --> 00:42:37,931
Anything I can do.
903
00:42:57,075 --> 00:43:00,996
He's not here.
Park the cars down there
where he won't see them.
904
00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:08,378
Whoo!
905
00:43:08,461 --> 00:43:10,088
Fucking right!
906
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:12,132
So, you like
my pants, Stiffy?
907
00:43:12,215 --> 00:43:14,217
Whatever, dude.
As long as the girls
are worth it.
908
00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:16,636
They're worth it.
Oh! And if you got
good wine, too,
909
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,180
that'll score
points for you.
910
00:43:18,263 --> 00:43:19,973
I think there's
some in the basement.
911
00:43:20,056 --> 00:43:22,893
I'll get it. You ain't
gonna want to miss this.
912
00:43:23,435 --> 00:43:25,020
(LAUGHING)
913
00:43:25,645 --> 00:43:28,481
Gentlemen,
I would like to introduce
914
00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:32,402
Officer Krystal
und Fräulein Brandi!
915
00:43:33,987 --> 00:43:35,405
FINCH: Oh, my God.
916
00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,365
(STIFLER EXCLAIMING)
917
00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:40,869
Oh, my God.
918
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:43,538
You boys have
been very messy.
919
00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:49,127
Whoops.
920
00:43:49,210 --> 00:43:50,795
Can you see my fanny?
921
00:43:50,879 --> 00:43:52,547
Whoops. (GIGGLES)
922
00:43:53,048 --> 00:43:54,466
Oh!
923
00:43:54,883 --> 00:43:56,092
(MOANS)
924
00:43:56,468 --> 00:43:58,094
(STIFLER WHOOPS)
925
00:43:58,345 --> 00:43:59,554
(YELPS)
Oh!
926
00:44:00,764 --> 00:44:01,765
Ow!
927
00:44:02,015 --> 00:44:03,850
You naughty girl.
928
00:44:03,934 --> 00:44:05,226
(GIGGLES)
929
00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:08,355
None of that
pleading the Fifth crap.
930
00:44:08,438 --> 00:44:09,856
You boys are gonna talk.
931
00:44:10,565 --> 00:44:11,650
(STUTTERS)
932
00:44:12,233 --> 00:44:13,401
STIFLER: Wow! (LAUGHING)
933
00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:16,154
Oh, my God!
934
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:20,116
Are you just gonna
stand there and drool?
935
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:21,368
Or we gonna have
a bachelor party?
936
00:44:21,493 --> 00:44:22,619
Fuck, yeah, we are!
937
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:23,703
Yeah?
Yeah.
938
00:44:23,787 --> 00:44:25,747
What? I can't hear you.
939
00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:27,248
Louder!
(STUTTERS)
940
00:44:27,749 --> 00:44:28,875
Yes.
941
00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:30,460
Bachelor party.
942
00:44:30,585 --> 00:44:31,795
I can't hear you. Louder!
943
00:44:32,545 --> 00:44:34,255
Stick a finger in my ass!
944
00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:35,632
(GASPS)
945
00:44:37,759 --> 00:44:39,010
That's weird.
946
00:44:39,094 --> 00:44:40,428
You just wait.
947
00:44:40,512 --> 00:44:42,764
Maybe we should
just wait for Jim.
948
00:44:43,390 --> 00:44:45,350
Fuck Jim, man!
This is for us!
949
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,518
Take her top off.
950
00:44:46,601 --> 00:44:49,813
My girlfriend has
strict rules about this.
No touching.
951
00:44:50,063 --> 00:44:51,147
(GROANING)
952
00:44:51,231 --> 00:44:52,857
What are you,
a dancing clown?
953
00:44:52,941 --> 00:44:56,569
You wipe that shit-eating grin
off your face,
you punk-ass little bitch!
954
00:44:56,653 --> 00:44:57,946
This is awesome!
955
00:44:58,113 --> 00:44:59,531
You like that?
Like it? How much? No!
956
00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:00,824
Yeah, I do.
Boob.
957
00:45:03,118 --> 00:45:04,160
Sorry.
958
00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:07,455
No, not yet.
But you will be.
959
00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:10,667
Like I said,
this is awesome.
960
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,510
Hey, listen,
I think we both know
961
00:45:20,635 --> 00:45:24,514
that Officer Krystal and me
have this, you know...
962
00:45:24,681 --> 00:45:25,974
Thing?
Yeah.
963
00:45:33,857 --> 00:45:36,735
No one has ever
slapped my ass like that.
964
00:45:37,193 --> 00:45:40,071
No one's ever
pinched my nipple
with such ferocity.
965
00:45:46,244 --> 00:45:49,706
I'm a master of
the Tantric art.
966
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:52,917
I look at her
body and I just see
967
00:45:53,001 --> 00:45:55,670
the chakras and the things
I could do to her and...
968
00:45:55,754 --> 00:45:56,921
(INHALES SHARPLY)
969
00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:58,214
(GRUNTS)
970
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:11,352
You, you look cute.
Oh, thank you.
971
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,605
You, you're the cute one.
972
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:15,648
Stiffy, how slimming is this?
973
00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:19,027
What the fuck,
Buffalo Bill?
974
00:46:20,070 --> 00:46:22,280
What? The pink too much?
975
00:46:22,781 --> 00:46:26,534
It puts
the dress in the drawer
and does as it's told.
976
00:46:27,786 --> 00:46:30,205
Oh, dude,
now that's fucked up.
977
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:32,290
That's fucked up.
978
00:46:32,916 --> 00:46:35,460
And in closing,
you have been a naughty,
naughty girl.
979
00:46:35,543 --> 00:46:36,628
(CACKLES)
980
00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:40,090
You been naughty, Brandi?
You been fucking naughty?
981
00:46:41,549 --> 00:46:42,759
Fresh.
982
00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:44,385
(SCREAMS)
983
00:46:44,469 --> 00:46:45,553
Take her top off!
984
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:49,224
Will you get to cleaning,
you little bitch fucker.
985
00:46:49,307 --> 00:46:50,683
(SCREAMS)
986
00:46:51,935 --> 00:46:53,311
Do you want to
see us kiss?
987
00:46:56,106 --> 00:46:57,482
Fuck, no!
988
00:46:57,774 --> 00:46:59,901
None of that "you go,
we go" bullshit.
989
00:47:00,235 --> 00:47:02,112
STIFLER:
We've already done that.
FINCH: Good of you.
990
00:47:14,249 --> 00:47:16,626
I used to have
this pet bass.
991
00:47:17,085 --> 00:47:19,671
His name was Arnie,
and he was so cute
992
00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:22,966
and he just loved me,
too, you know.
He would look at me...
993
00:47:23,091 --> 00:47:24,175
Maybe you
could dance.
994
00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:25,718
...make this
face like...
995
00:47:26,261 --> 00:47:28,429
Or something like that.
I don't know.
It was great.
996
00:47:28,513 --> 00:47:30,223
I miss Arnie, but...
997
00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:32,517
Sometimes I watch
the Discovery Channel.
998
00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,810
I love that show.
999
00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,270
I don't care!
1000
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,481
Could you just
dance for me, please?
1001
00:47:38,690 --> 00:47:42,527
No, that's my favorite...
Well, was my favorite shirt.
1002
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:44,279
Okay...
1003
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:45,738
Hey.
1004
00:47:46,698 --> 00:47:47,866
What?
1005
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:50,702
Nothing.
1006
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:53,830
It's a crazy party, huh?
1007
00:48:04,007 --> 00:48:06,718
You don't worry about him.
You don't worry about him.
1008
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:11,681
He's a maniac.
You're a maniac,
you know that?
1009
00:48:13,558 --> 00:48:15,185
(MUFFLED SHOUTS)
1010
00:48:18,188 --> 00:48:21,441
Stifler, why in the world
are you focused on me?
1011
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:23,234
I'm just surprised to
see you don't have tits.
1012
00:48:24,319 --> 00:48:26,571
How can I clean you
if you are not dirty?
1013
00:48:27,155 --> 00:48:30,658
Go put something on
that I must clean off
with my tongue.
1014
00:48:31,284 --> 00:48:32,285
Oh!
1015
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:34,579
Anything for a French person.
1016
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,873
If you insist, fräulein.
1017
00:48:49,177 --> 00:48:50,428
Ah!
1018
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:54,849
Look at you,
you pathetic
little weasel.
1019
00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:56,684
Can't I just watch?
1020
00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,939
Look, you don't have to
do anything
if you don't want to.
1021
00:49:01,022 --> 00:49:02,148
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
1022
00:49:02,232 --> 00:49:06,319
Hold on!
Don't break character
ever again, okay?
1023
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:08,404
I don't care
if Kevin starts crying
1024
00:49:08,488 --> 00:49:09,948
because Finch
bit his cock off.
1025
00:49:10,031 --> 00:49:11,741
You're a dirty cop,
you're a prissy maid.
1026
00:49:12,116 --> 00:49:14,827
And I'm your filthy cabana boy
in need of
punishment and cleaning.
1027
00:49:15,203 --> 00:49:17,705
Don't you ever mouth
off to Officer Krystal,
1028
00:49:17,789 --> 00:49:19,540
you dirty little pervert!
Okay.
1029
00:49:19,624 --> 00:49:21,542
Now obey!
I obey!
1030
00:49:22,794 --> 00:49:23,878
Jesus.
1031
00:49:41,562 --> 00:49:42,772
Hey, guys,
are we having dinner?
1032
00:49:48,736 --> 00:49:49,779
Let me get that.
1033
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:54,075
Holy shit!
1034
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:55,201
Stifler.
1035
00:49:55,285 --> 00:49:58,079
I've got something really nice
cooking up for you inside.
1036
00:49:58,162 --> 00:49:59,372
Well, we love surprises.
1037
00:49:59,455 --> 00:50:01,332
Stifler, you said
you spoke to Jim.
1038
00:50:01,416 --> 00:50:03,084
I did. I was secret
about it and everything.
1039
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:04,836
He said he'd be
the only one here tonight.
1040
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:06,671
What the fuck,
Shitbreak?
1041
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:07,964
It's chocolate.
1042
00:50:09,007 --> 00:50:11,759
I told everyone that
you were up north
with my parents.
1043
00:50:11,843 --> 00:50:15,221
So we won't be bothered.
We can just totally relax.
No worries.
1044
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:16,973
(MARY CHUCKLES)
1045
00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:19,183
Please come on in.
Make yourselves at home.
Right this way.
1046
00:50:19,267 --> 00:50:20,435
Thank you.
1047
00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:24,689
(GASPS)
1048
00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:25,773
What?
1049
00:50:26,524 --> 00:50:27,859
Pink roses.
1050
00:50:28,401 --> 00:50:30,028
JIM: Pink roses.
1051
00:50:31,362 --> 00:50:32,905
They're nice, aren't they?
1052
00:50:33,072 --> 00:50:34,615
Yes, artificial. Nice try.
1053
00:50:34,699 --> 00:50:36,200
(ALL CHUCKLING)
1054
00:50:36,367 --> 00:50:38,036
I almost got you.
1055
00:50:40,371 --> 00:50:43,916
So, has Michelle ever
told you the story of how
we fell in love?
1056
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:46,252
Why don't you retell us now?
1057
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,547
It's one of
my favorite stories.
Where should I begin?
1058
00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,466
(CLEARS THROAT)
1059
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,468
Let's see...
1060
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:57,555
Well, I suppose it
all started at...
1061
00:51:02,268 --> 00:51:03,686
Tall Oaks.
1062
00:51:04,604 --> 00:51:07,106
That's right. At Tall Oaks.
1063
00:51:07,273 --> 00:51:10,151
That was the summer
when... Oh!
1064
00:51:10,276 --> 00:51:12,236
Oh! The summer
that was so hot!
1065
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:13,488
So hot.
1066
00:51:13,613 --> 00:51:15,073
All right, look what I got.
1067
00:51:15,198 --> 00:51:16,657
Jesus!
1068
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,201
Hey, there.
1069
00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:19,285
Guy, there!
1070
00:51:19,827 --> 00:51:22,622
Jim, I cannot believe you.
1071
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:25,291
You can't?
1072
00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:29,170
You hired help
on our account. That is
entirely unnecessary.
1073
00:51:29,379 --> 00:51:31,756
But I will have
some of that wine, sir.
1074
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:33,132
Say please, Harold.
1075
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:34,634
Please. Of course.
1076
00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:36,719
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Absolutely.
1077
00:51:36,844 --> 00:51:37,845
It's what he's here for.
1078
00:51:37,970 --> 00:51:39,430
The wine. Obviously.
1079
00:51:39,514 --> 00:51:40,807
Evidently.
1080
00:51:40,932 --> 00:51:42,183
What else would
you be here for?
1081
00:51:42,308 --> 00:51:46,479
And I certainly appreciate
your courtesy, sir.
1082
00:51:49,524 --> 00:51:51,484
Yes, we have right here
1083
00:51:51,567 --> 00:51:56,322
a 1999 Cabernet Say-vun-nun.
1084
00:51:57,573 --> 00:52:00,952
Full-bodied, masculine wine.
1085
00:52:01,035 --> 00:52:03,830
Just shouts sophistication.
1086
00:52:05,832 --> 00:52:07,291
James?
Yes?
1087
00:52:07,375 --> 00:52:10,711
I can see
you're very surprised
to see me here.
1088
00:52:10,795 --> 00:52:12,046
Little bit.
1089
00:52:12,213 --> 00:52:13,464
I'm going to go
check on the dogs.
1090
00:52:13,548 --> 00:52:17,093
Yes! In fact why don't
you both go check
on the dogs and...
1091
00:52:17,176 --> 00:52:20,555
No! Don't check on the dogs.
They're fine.
1092
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:22,014
How do you know?
1093
00:52:22,098 --> 00:52:23,516
Because I just
checked on the dogs.
1094
00:52:23,558 --> 00:52:25,309
Because he
checked on the dogs.
I did.
1095
00:52:25,393 --> 00:52:26,561
Good work, man.
1096
00:52:26,686 --> 00:52:27,854
Jim, I'll help
you with the turkey.
1097
00:52:27,937 --> 00:52:29,689
Okay.
1098
00:52:29,814 --> 00:52:31,566
And I'll keep
you company.
1099
00:52:31,732 --> 00:52:33,067
Thank you.
1100
00:52:34,193 --> 00:52:37,071
So, how long have you been
a sommelier, Mister...
1101
00:52:37,155 --> 00:52:38,197
Belvedere, ma'am.
1102
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:39,365
Belvedere.
1103
00:52:41,576 --> 00:52:42,618
It's chilly in here.
1104
00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:45,413
So, how long do we
have to stay in here for?
1105
00:52:46,164 --> 00:52:48,082
I don't know.
They said to hide.
1106
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:50,168
I guess we'll just
wait for them to call us.
1107
00:52:50,460 --> 00:52:53,129
Who knows what
kind of kinky shit
they're getting ready for.
1108
00:52:53,212 --> 00:52:55,506
Do these go in your
ass tonight, or mine?
1109
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:01,429
You have
a serving dish ready?
1110
00:53:02,180 --> 00:53:04,098
Jim, we need
a serving dish.
Hmm?
1111
00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:05,933
Oh! Yeah, of course.
1112
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:07,602
Oh!
1113
00:53:08,019 --> 00:53:09,145
What?
1114
00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:11,647
Nothing.
1115
00:53:12,398 --> 00:53:13,649
Then why the excitement?
1116
00:53:13,733 --> 00:53:15,735
I thought the dish
was broken.
1117
00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:17,862
Well, is it?
No.
1118
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:19,697
Then are you
going to get it?
Yes.
1119
00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:33,044
Here you go.
One serving dish.
1120
00:53:33,169 --> 00:53:34,962
Excellent. Now what we need:
1121
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:36,380
a cutting board.
1122
00:53:36,464 --> 00:53:37,465
No, stop!
1123
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:38,549
What?
1124
00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:39,842
I will get it for you.
1125
00:53:39,926 --> 00:53:42,178
Nonsense,
I can get a cutting board.
1126
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:46,807
Let's see, there you go.
This should do nicely.
1127
00:53:47,308 --> 00:53:49,894
I presume
we're having white wine
with the turkey.
1128
00:53:50,645 --> 00:53:52,438
Let me go check.
1129
00:53:54,941 --> 00:53:56,275
(MARY CHUCKLES)
1130
00:53:56,901 --> 00:53:58,694
What happened here?
1131
00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:00,655
JIM: Oh, um...
1132
00:54:00,863 --> 00:54:04,575
That's mud.
I meant to clean
that up this morning.
1133
00:54:04,742 --> 00:54:06,118
How embarrassing.
1134
00:54:06,202 --> 00:54:08,621
That's gonna stain.
We're gonna need a mop.
1135
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:10,081
I'll get it.
It's in this closet.
1136
00:54:10,206 --> 00:54:11,582
No.
1137
00:54:12,458 --> 00:54:13,876
No, it's not.
1138
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,127
It's in there.
1139
00:54:15,253 --> 00:54:16,420
It's not in this closet,
1140
00:54:16,504 --> 00:54:19,924
because I moved it.
1141
00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,301
Where? I'll go get it.
1142
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:24,053
I don't remember.
1143
00:54:25,221 --> 00:54:26,514
You don't remember?
1144
00:54:26,639 --> 00:54:27,974
You know why
I don't remember
1145
00:54:28,057 --> 00:54:29,892
is because I actually
did not move it.
1146
00:54:29,976 --> 00:54:31,852
The cleaning lady did.
1147
00:54:31,936 --> 00:54:34,230
Your mother said
you don't have
a cleaning lady.
1148
00:54:34,313 --> 00:54:36,440
I don't know why
she would say such a...
1149
00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:37,650
You called, master?
1150
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:38,859
Holy...
1151
00:54:39,694 --> 00:54:41,112
Well, there you are. Hello.
1152
00:54:41,237 --> 00:54:42,405
How do you do?
1153
00:54:43,823 --> 00:54:44,824
Uh...
1154
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:49,537
So, cleaning lady,
we were wondering
where the mop was.
1155
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,873
Master put
the mop in my fanny.
1156
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:55,459
You what?
Who put what where?
1157
00:54:55,543 --> 00:54:57,837
I did no such thing anywhere.
1158
00:54:58,629 --> 00:55:00,172
Shall I clean?
(GIGGLES)
1159
00:55:03,843 --> 00:55:04,844
Harold!
1160
00:55:05,011 --> 00:55:06,429
(BOTH GIGGLING)
1161
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:07,930
(SIGHS)
1162
00:55:08,014 --> 00:55:10,516
Very well.
It is so hot in here!
1163
00:55:12,059 --> 00:55:13,102
(SCREAMS)
1164
00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,603
Holy Jesus!
1165
00:55:16,397 --> 00:55:18,149
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1166
00:55:18,524 --> 00:55:19,525
(SCREAMS)
1167
00:55:20,026 --> 00:55:21,736
Brandi, Brandi,
what are you doing?
1168
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:23,654
You're not in
Eastern Europe anymore.
1169
00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:27,533
You can't do that.
I am so sorry
about my cousin.
1170
00:55:27,616 --> 00:55:29,368
She's not used to
our customs.
1171
00:55:29,702 --> 00:55:32,455
Jim, I apologize
for recommending her to you.
1172
00:55:32,580 --> 00:55:35,458
Here's this, by the way.
1173
00:55:35,541 --> 00:55:36,625
Ah!
1174
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:38,461
Got the mop.
1175
00:55:38,544 --> 00:55:41,672
Brandi,
you left the mop
in the car.
1176
00:55:41,756 --> 00:55:43,674
Now remember,
it's called a car,
1177
00:55:43,758 --> 00:55:45,092
not a fanny.
1178
00:55:45,176 --> 00:55:47,345
Remember last time
when you wanted me
1179
00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:49,680
to take a ride
in your fanny.
(LAUGHS)
1180
00:55:50,973 --> 00:55:52,767
BRANDI:
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
1181
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:55,311
You know what?
We should
probably just go.
1182
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:57,188
I'm so sorry about this.
1183
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:59,190
I came by to
make sure everything
was in order.
1184
00:55:59,315 --> 00:56:01,275
The food smells great.
1185
00:56:01,609 --> 00:56:03,277
BRANDI: Au revoir.
1186
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:06,572
Jim, you have
unique friends.
1187
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:08,574
Harold!
1188
00:56:08,908 --> 00:56:11,285
Let's get that
cleaned up.
1189
00:56:11,369 --> 00:56:13,871
I think I saw some
Pine-Sol in here, too.
1190
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:15,873
(SCREAMS)
1191
00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:17,166
My gosh!
Baby, Mary and Joseph.
1192
00:56:17,249 --> 00:56:18,417
Oh, my Lord!
1193
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:20,044
He's okay.
1194
00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:21,545
Are you all right?
(MUFFLED RESPONSE)
1195
00:56:21,629 --> 00:56:22,797
Who did this to you?
1196
00:56:22,922 --> 00:56:24,090
I'm sure he's okay.
You okay?
1197
00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:27,468
Get some help!
Harold, call the police!
1198
00:56:28,719 --> 00:56:29,845
All right!
1199
00:56:29,929 --> 00:56:31,055
Jesus.
1200
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,306
I'll take charge
from here!
1201
00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:34,975
My God, they are fast here.
And nicely attired.
1202
00:56:35,059 --> 00:56:36,435
What's going on here?
1203
00:56:36,519 --> 00:56:38,062
She's here to
protect and serve.
1204
00:56:38,145 --> 00:56:39,313
Quiet!
Okay.
1205
00:56:39,397 --> 00:56:40,731
Who let this boy
out of the closet?
1206
00:56:40,815 --> 00:56:41,899
(STUTTERS)
1207
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,317
You are all in for
a hard punishment now.
1208
00:56:43,401 --> 00:56:45,277
Don't you touch him!
He's been hurt.
1209
00:56:45,486 --> 00:56:47,113
No. This is hurt!
1210
00:56:47,488 --> 00:56:48,656
You can't do that.
1211
00:56:48,739 --> 00:56:50,491
Silence, fucker!
Ow!
1212
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:51,742
You like it.
1213
00:56:51,826 --> 00:56:52,827
Oh!
1214
00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:54,995
Harold,
what's gotten into you?
1215
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:56,205
I meant... Ow!
1216
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:58,833
Dirty whore.
Shut your hole. Obey!
1217
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:00,292
(SCREAMING)
1218
00:57:00,376 --> 00:57:01,877
HAROLD:
You can't do that.
1219
00:57:01,961 --> 00:57:03,170
You're a disgrace
to the police force.
1220
00:57:03,295 --> 00:57:04,922
I'll be giving you
an enema!
1221
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:06,757
Hey, somebody untie me!
1222
00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:07,883
Wait, not the face.
Back off!
1223
00:57:07,967 --> 00:57:10,219
All right, forget it.
We give up.
1224
00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:11,762
Steven!
1225
00:57:11,846 --> 00:57:13,180
It's okay, Mary.
1226
00:57:13,305 --> 00:57:14,682
What's going on?
1227
00:57:15,391 --> 00:57:17,435
Listen,
this isn't working, guys.
1228
00:57:17,518 --> 00:57:20,271
Krystal, you can drop the act.
This isn't a real cop.
1229
00:57:21,021 --> 00:57:23,023
Kevin wasn't assaulted.
1230
00:57:23,107 --> 00:57:25,609
I just wanted to
make Jim look good
for you guys.
1231
00:57:25,693 --> 00:57:27,153
Like a real hero.
1232
00:57:27,236 --> 00:57:28,404
Kind of like me.
1233
00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:31,782
We hired a fake cop,
tied up Kevin,
and put him in the closet.
1234
00:57:31,866 --> 00:57:34,535
Jim was supposed to
rescue him, untie him,
give him mouth-to-mouth.
1235
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:36,579
I don't know
what he likes to do.
1236
00:57:36,662 --> 00:57:39,874
Then Paul Finch
hired an exotic dancer
instead of a real actor.
1237
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,126
Jim, is this true?
1238
00:57:44,378 --> 00:57:45,838
Every word of it.
1239
00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:48,090
That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.
1240
00:57:48,174 --> 00:57:51,802
You've embarrassed me, Harold,
and Mr. Belvedere.
1241
00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:53,721
What?
1242
00:57:53,846 --> 00:57:55,181
It's all my fault.
I'm a bad person.
1243
00:57:55,389 --> 00:57:57,725
Oh! You're not a bad person.
1244
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:00,811
You were just
trying to help out
your best friend.
1245
00:58:00,895 --> 00:58:04,815
It was an awful idea,
but I suppose
it's the thought that counts.
1246
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,693
You know, actually,
1247
00:58:08,569 --> 00:58:10,237
(STAMMERING)
1248
00:58:11,030 --> 00:58:13,073
I never should have allowed
1249
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:16,702
such a crazy plan to
happen in the first place.
1250
00:58:16,785 --> 00:58:20,247
If you're gonna
blame anybody here,
1251
00:58:20,581 --> 00:58:21,749
blame me.
1252
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:23,167
I'm sorry, Jim.
I didn't realize
1253
00:58:23,250 --> 00:58:24,710
how much pressure
we put on you.
1254
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:28,839
I'm sure you both
learned your lesson,
and I suppose I understand.
1255
00:58:28,923 --> 00:58:31,842
Jim, if you put
half as much energy
into your marriage
1256
00:58:31,926 --> 00:58:34,762
as you put into tonight,
I'm confident that I can
give you my blessing.
1257
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:41,185
And, Steven,
we still adore you, honey.
1258
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:44,730
In fact, I think I know
who should hold onto this.
1259
00:58:44,813 --> 00:58:47,566
We adore you.
You'll take good care of it.
1260
00:58:47,650 --> 00:58:48,859
You've got to
be kidding me.
1261
00:58:48,984 --> 00:58:50,194
No.
1262
00:58:50,653 --> 00:58:54,114
Lookit, Jim, Kevin.
Boy, this really makes me
important to the wedding.
1263
00:58:54,490 --> 00:58:55,616
MARY: Yes.
1264
00:58:57,535 --> 00:59:01,038
Well, Mr. Belvedere,
it's gonna be one
fucked-up wedding.
1265
00:59:01,664 --> 00:59:03,082
Absolutely.
1266
00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:06,710
Drive carefully.
More bags in the study.
1267
00:59:06,794 --> 00:59:07,878
Thank you.
1268
00:59:08,003 --> 00:59:09,129
You're welcome.
1269
00:59:13,801 --> 00:59:14,843
Ow!
1270
00:59:14,927 --> 00:59:16,303
Is there
any room for me?
1271
00:59:16,387 --> 00:59:17,805
Nope.
1272
00:59:18,514 --> 00:59:20,808
I'll just drive up
north all by myself.
1273
00:59:21,183 --> 00:59:23,102
That sounds good.
We'll see you later.
1274
00:59:23,227 --> 00:59:25,145
No, I'll drive with you.
1275
00:59:25,479 --> 00:59:28,607
Thanks, Cadence.
Beautiful lady.
1276
00:59:33,028 --> 00:59:35,781
Hey... I know. Shut up.
Kevin!
1277
00:59:46,125 --> 00:59:48,085
So, my mom found
the dogs playing
1278
00:59:48,168 --> 00:59:50,087
with something
unusual this morning.
1279
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:51,755
What?
1280
00:59:51,839 --> 00:59:53,591
I told her it was
a neck massager.
1281
00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:57,928
These are great.
1282
01:00:22,161 --> 01:00:23,203
He's hilarious.
1283
01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:24,413
Yes.
1284
01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:28,667
That kind of thing
is so lethargic to me.
1285
01:00:30,628 --> 01:00:31,754
What do you mean?
1286
01:00:31,879 --> 01:00:33,047
I'm not sure.
1287
01:00:53,025 --> 01:00:56,153
Mr. Stifler,
I already told you
you called two days ago
1288
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:58,072
and canceled
your reservation.
1289
01:00:58,155 --> 01:00:59,990
Since you now
wish to stay here,
1290
01:01:00,074 --> 01:01:02,701
I thought you could persuade
Mr. Finch to share his room.
1291
01:01:02,785 --> 01:01:05,454
Hey, Shithead, I didn't
cancel my reservation.
1292
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:07,498
Mr. Fuckface Finch
called here.
1293
01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:10,125
And Mr. Idiot Behind
the Desk canceled it.
1294
01:01:10,209 --> 01:01:14,046
Christof, please pardon
my friend's uncouth behavior.
1295
01:01:14,755 --> 01:01:16,507
I did no such thing.
1296
01:01:16,632 --> 01:01:18,384
Nor did I, sir.
1297
01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:22,429
And your rudeness
and obscenities
won't change anything.
1298
01:01:22,763 --> 01:01:25,849
Well then,
I guess it doesn't matter
if I call you a crotchface,
1299
01:01:25,933 --> 01:01:27,351
you ball-scratching fucker.
1300
01:01:27,434 --> 01:01:29,186
Or better yet,
go blow your dad.
1301
01:01:29,269 --> 01:01:31,021
My dad?
Hear, hear.
1302
01:01:31,105 --> 01:01:33,857
While you're there,
stick a finger
up both their asses
1303
01:01:33,941 --> 01:01:35,943
while you're down there.
1304
01:01:37,736 --> 01:01:40,531
Finch, rudeness and obscenity
won't change anything.
1305
01:01:40,614 --> 01:01:44,118
Here's a thought:
Grow a sack,
fill it with some balls,
1306
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:46,870
magically sprout a dick,
shove it up your ass,
1307
01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:49,790
and start fucking yourself
like, "Yeah, baby!"
1308
01:01:50,874 --> 01:01:53,627
You going
with what I'm saying?
(GRUNTING)
1309
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,296
This is disgusting.
1310
01:01:56,422 --> 01:01:59,800
Why don't you go dust
with your
perverse European cousin?
1311
01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:01,677
Is she here?
1312
01:02:01,802 --> 01:02:03,303
Unbelievable.
1313
01:02:03,637 --> 01:02:06,056
I'd like to book
a tee time for my husband
1314
01:02:06,140 --> 01:02:09,143
and a European
pumpkin peel facial
for me, please.
1315
01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:10,644
Make that two.
1316
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:12,771
JIM'S DAD: You'll have
a fun weekend, Ma.
1317
01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:14,565
I am missing my soap.
1318
01:02:14,648 --> 01:02:16,358
Don't you worry
about your soaps.
1319
01:02:16,442 --> 01:02:18,527
Will you push faster?
I'm tired.
1320
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:20,821
And wait till
you meet Michelle.
1321
01:02:20,904 --> 01:02:22,906
You're gonna love her.
She's sweet as sugar.
1322
01:02:22,990 --> 01:02:24,450
I can't eat sugar.
1323
01:02:24,533 --> 01:02:26,243
I know,
because you're diabetic.
1324
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,162
You know, Ma,
1325
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:31,582
I know things haven't been
going well for you.
I know that.
1326
01:02:31,665 --> 01:02:35,419
But wait till you
see Jim standing up there
at the altar tomorrow.
1327
01:02:35,502 --> 01:02:39,423
If ever there was
a time to be happy
and smile the biggest smile,
1328
01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,841
now is the time.
1329
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:44,720
Okay, okay. I'm overjoyed.
1330
01:02:45,679 --> 01:02:47,681
That's a start.
1331
01:02:49,141 --> 01:02:51,643
Proud grandmother
coming through.
1332
01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:54,354
Grandson's getting
married tomorrow.
1333
01:02:54,438 --> 01:02:57,024
You think she's happy now,
wait till tomorrow.
1334
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:00,444
"Congratulations."
1335
01:03:08,786 --> 01:03:10,078
"Grooming."
1336
01:03:22,466 --> 01:03:23,759
(BUZZING)
1337
01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:45,531
You got bigger.
1338
01:03:55,165 --> 01:03:57,918
The flowers
stay refrigerated
until morning...
1339
01:03:58,502 --> 01:03:59,711
Oh! I'm sure they will.
1340
01:03:59,837 --> 01:04:01,129
They're so pretty...
1341
01:04:01,421 --> 01:04:02,798
(COUGHING)
1342
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:07,469
(ALL COUGHING)
1343
01:04:13,934 --> 01:04:15,602
Oh, Jimmy, no!
1344
01:04:16,812 --> 01:04:18,522
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1345
01:04:27,114 --> 01:04:29,408
I hope
you'll be more careful
with the next one.
1346
01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:31,994
My kitchen is
not a toilet, okay?
1347
01:04:39,668 --> 01:04:43,338
Boy, pubic hair was just not
an issue when I was dating.
1348
01:04:44,548 --> 01:04:47,593
The ladies never complained
1349
01:04:47,718 --> 01:04:50,304
when they were, you know,
down in that general area...
1350
01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:53,891
Okay, if you never
mention that ever again,
that'd be great.
1351
01:04:54,016 --> 01:04:56,018
Shouldn't have brought it up.
1352
01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,395
So, can I see the ring?
1353
01:04:58,562 --> 01:05:00,606
Nope. I promised
to keep it safe.
1354
01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:02,900
It's not leaving my pocket.
1355
01:05:03,025 --> 01:05:04,526
Okay, Frodo.
1356
01:05:04,902 --> 01:05:06,570
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
1357
01:05:07,404 --> 01:05:10,574
You really care
about this wedding,
don't you?
1358
01:05:11,909 --> 01:05:15,078
I'm gonna cry
at the ceremony.
I know it.
1359
01:05:16,288 --> 01:05:17,331
(SIGHS)
1360
01:05:17,539 --> 01:05:19,750
Are you just saying
all of this?
1361
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:23,712
I mean, do you
act differently around
certain people?
1362
01:05:24,254 --> 01:05:25,589
Namely me?
1363
01:05:25,839 --> 01:05:29,426
Of course not. Why?
Do you act differently
around me?
1364
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:33,931
Generally, I'm just me.
If people don't like it,
that's their problem.
1365
01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:35,557
Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.
1366
01:05:35,682 --> 01:05:37,142
What?
1367
01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:39,937
I didn't...
1368
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,605
No, you're right. Fuck 'em.
1369
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:48,946
Hey, Harold and Mary!
1370
01:05:49,112 --> 01:05:50,781
Hi, kids.
1371
01:05:51,615 --> 01:05:53,116
How's it going?
1372
01:05:54,326 --> 01:05:56,370
Come on. Thanks for
watching the dogs.
1373
01:05:56,453 --> 01:05:59,581
I love these guys.
Hey, guys, want more
Snausages? Huh?
1374
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:01,792
There you go.
1375
01:06:02,292 --> 01:06:03,502
Eat 'em up.
Give me some.
1376
01:06:03,627 --> 01:06:04,878
There you go.
1377
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:08,131
I don't think
I have any left.
1378
01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:10,634
What's wrong?
1379
01:06:10,801 --> 01:06:11,927
Shit.
1380
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,971
Are you okay?
1381
01:06:17,182 --> 01:06:18,308
Yeah.
1382
01:06:21,478 --> 01:06:22,980
You kissed Stifler?
1383
01:06:23,146 --> 01:06:24,648
Yeah. But then he freaked.
1384
01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:27,818
It's like he's been
paying more attention
to the dogs than me.
1385
01:06:27,901 --> 01:06:29,528
Can I stop worrying then?
1386
01:06:29,653 --> 01:06:32,072
Michelle, he's been
nothing but nice to me.
1387
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:34,992
I mean, do you think
he really likes you?
1388
01:06:35,659 --> 01:06:39,788
I don't know.
I hope he likes me.
I mean, I think he likes me.
1389
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:44,209
Yeah, I guess
I hope he likes me.
1390
01:06:47,671 --> 01:06:48,839
Do it.
1391
01:06:50,007 --> 01:06:53,844
Don't fuck around.
Just relax and let it go.
1392
01:06:55,345 --> 01:06:57,180
I'm sick of waiting.
1393
01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:59,349
Do it for Daddy.
1394
01:06:59,891 --> 01:07:02,394
Will you just
take a shit already?
1395
01:07:03,937 --> 01:07:04,938
Great.
1396
01:07:05,439 --> 01:07:08,316
You fed the ring to the dogs,
didn't you?
1397
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:09,776
(SCOFFS)
1398
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,570
(SNICKERS)
1399
01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,281
Of course not!
1400
01:07:14,406 --> 01:07:17,617
You have been staring
at those dogs
like a hawk all day.
1401
01:07:17,743 --> 01:07:19,411
I'm a dog lover.
1402
01:07:20,495 --> 01:07:24,916
By the way,
apparently you missed
when Cadence kissed me.
1403
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:30,172
Slight tongue action, too.
It was something like this.
1404
01:07:30,422 --> 01:07:31,757
(WARBLES)
1405
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,717
You're a terrible liar,
Stifler.
1406
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,928
If I were lying,
I'd think of something better
than a kiss.
1407
01:07:37,012 --> 01:07:39,473
Maybe a blow job
or some tittie grabbing.
1408
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:42,434
No pussy for you, Finch.
1409
01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:44,728
(SIGHS)
1410
01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:48,148
Fucking right, doggy!
It's about goddamn time!
1411
01:07:48,774 --> 01:07:50,108
Jackpot!
1412
01:07:50,192 --> 01:07:53,862
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some shit to attend to.
1413
01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:12,047
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
1414
01:08:14,466 --> 01:08:15,717
Thanks, assholes.
1415
01:08:16,551 --> 01:08:17,886
MARY: Yeah,
maybe you can call him.
1416
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:18,970
WOMAN: Okay.
1417
01:08:19,054 --> 01:08:21,223
Steve, come over here.
1418
01:08:24,142 --> 01:08:25,227
Uh...
1419
01:08:25,644 --> 01:08:26,937
I'm a little busy.
1420
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:29,356
MARY: With what?
Come on over.
We need you.
1421
01:08:29,481 --> 01:08:31,024
Get over here,
you little rascal.
1422
01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:34,694
We were talking about
Michelle's wedding band.
Could I see it?
1423
01:08:35,153 --> 01:08:36,279
Um...
1424
01:08:37,197 --> 01:08:39,074
No.
No?
1425
01:08:40,242 --> 01:08:41,910
I don't have it.
What?
1426
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:43,286
You mean you lost it?
1427
01:08:43,411 --> 01:08:44,704
Of course not.
1428
01:08:44,830 --> 01:08:47,290
I'm keeping it safe
in my room,
you silly Sally!
1429
01:08:47,374 --> 01:08:48,875
Thank goodness.
I apologize.
1430
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,418
That's fine.
I'll see it later.
1431
01:08:50,544 --> 01:08:52,003
Okay. All right, then.
1432
01:08:52,087 --> 01:08:53,797
What do you have
in your hand?
1433
01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:58,134
This one?
1434
01:08:58,218 --> 01:08:59,302
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1435
01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:01,137
No, the other one.
1436
01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:05,141
It's a chocolate truffle.
1437
01:09:05,225 --> 01:09:06,434
Ooo! Yummy.
1438
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:07,853
Where did you get that?
1439
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:12,732
The caterer said
she was saving
the truffles for tomorrow.
1440
01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:14,651
You sneaky devil.
1441
01:09:16,736 --> 01:09:19,573
Well, hey,
I managed to sneak
one right past her.
1442
01:09:19,906 --> 01:09:21,825
Come on,
this woman
loves chocolate.
1443
01:09:21,908 --> 01:09:23,159
At least give
her a tiny nibble.
1444
01:09:23,285 --> 01:09:24,578
Give it to Momma.
1445
01:09:24,828 --> 01:09:27,998
Momma don't want this.
This is the only piece
that I have.
1446
01:09:28,081 --> 01:09:29,082
Idiot.
1447
01:09:29,249 --> 01:09:30,500
Break it in half.
Come on.
1448
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:31,918
You know what?
1449
01:09:32,043 --> 01:09:34,170
Let's just leave
the surprises till tomorrow.
1450
01:09:34,254 --> 01:09:35,422
It's gonna be a great day.
1451
01:09:35,589 --> 01:09:36,756
I'd like
my surprise right now.
1452
01:09:36,882 --> 01:09:38,550
No, it's mine.
Come on!
1453
01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:40,927
Give it to me.
No.
1454
01:09:41,052 --> 01:09:42,762
Give the darn truffle.
1455
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:44,306
(GASPS)
1456
01:09:45,098 --> 01:09:47,601
HAROLD: Steven,
that is so selfish.
(GAGGING)
1457
01:09:48,351 --> 01:09:49,561
It's good.
1458
01:09:49,644 --> 01:09:50,979
Is it? Is it sweet?
1459
01:09:52,772 --> 01:09:54,274
It's so sweet.
1460
01:09:55,150 --> 01:09:56,443
(GAGGING)
1461
01:09:57,110 --> 01:09:59,946
Close your mouth
when you chew, Steven.
1462
01:10:00,030 --> 01:10:01,114
Don't do that.
1463
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:05,118
At least you could describe
to the lovely woman
how delicious it is.
1464
01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:09,789
Well, tastes like twigs
and berries.
1465
01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,750
Is it Swiss or
French chocolate?
1466
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,710
Maybe German.
1467
01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:16,379
Really? Is it creamy?
1468
01:10:17,589 --> 01:10:18,798
Yeah, it's creamy.
1469
01:10:18,924 --> 01:10:20,133
Easy to go down, right?
1470
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,802
Well, I'm trying to
savor the flavor right now.
1471
01:10:23,136 --> 01:10:24,304
Is it fresh?
1472
01:10:24,471 --> 01:10:25,639
It's so fresh.
1473
01:10:25,764 --> 01:10:27,223
Nothing better than
when they're fresh.
1474
01:10:27,349 --> 01:10:28,808
Nothing better.
1475
01:10:28,934 --> 01:10:31,311
The problem is
you can't eat
just one, can you?
1476
01:10:31,436 --> 01:10:32,812
No, you can't.
1477
01:10:32,896 --> 01:10:35,398
But you've got to
know when to stop,
don't you?
1478
01:10:35,482 --> 01:10:37,817
You really do, but it's hard.
It's really hard.
1479
01:10:37,943 --> 01:10:39,986
Droppings
from the gods.
1480
01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:42,822
Get me another one, darling.
Come on.
1481
01:10:42,906 --> 01:10:45,575
You selfish boy.
Next time,
bring enough for everybody.
1482
01:10:45,659 --> 01:10:48,244
Let's keep this to ourselves?
Okay?
1483
01:10:48,328 --> 01:10:49,454
Okay.
1484
01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:50,747
I gotta go, okay.
1485
01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:53,833
Don't have any more,
because it's gonna
spoil your appetite.
1486
01:10:53,959 --> 01:10:56,962
Okay.
Hey, look, man, I gotta go.
1487
01:10:58,797 --> 01:11:00,006
(GROANS)
1488
01:11:03,510 --> 01:11:06,596
Grandma, I want you
to meet some people.
1489
01:11:09,015 --> 01:11:10,934
Grandma, this is Michelle.
1490
01:11:11,017 --> 01:11:13,603
I'm so proud to be
joining your family.
1491
01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:15,730
JIM:
She's real pretty, huh?
1492
01:11:17,774 --> 01:11:20,443
Isn't it great?
We're getting married.
1493
01:11:20,819 --> 01:11:22,570
It's amazing, Gram.
1494
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:28,994
Not Jewish!
No wedding, Jimmy!
No wedding.
1495
01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:31,162
Forget it.
Grandma.
1496
01:11:31,246 --> 01:11:32,330
A goyeh!
1497
01:11:32,414 --> 01:11:33,540
Shit.
1498
01:11:33,665 --> 01:11:34,791
Jim, she hates me.
1499
01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:36,126
(GRUMBLES)
1500
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:38,086
Oh, my God!
1501
01:11:38,169 --> 01:11:40,505
Grandma, look,
we love each other.
1502
01:11:40,588 --> 01:11:42,674
Michelle and I
love each other very much.
1503
01:11:42,799 --> 01:11:44,884
That's all that matters.
Grandma? Grandma?
1504
01:11:46,928 --> 01:11:48,638
Michelle? Michelle?
1505
01:11:51,266 --> 01:11:53,601
JIM'S DAD:
But Grandma's okay?
JIM: Oh, she's okay.
1506
01:11:53,727 --> 01:11:56,938
Oh, yeah, Dad. She's okay.
She's just a little tired.
1507
01:11:57,939 --> 01:12:00,817
My mother hasn't been well.
She's been feeling...
1508
01:12:00,900 --> 01:12:03,445
When your dad sees the look
on Grandma's face,
1509
01:12:03,528 --> 01:12:06,573
it's gonna break his heart.
Because of me.
1510
01:12:07,449 --> 01:12:10,827
It's not because of you.
Michelle, it's not
because of you at all.
1511
01:12:11,077 --> 01:12:13,997
It's because
Grandma thinks it's 1801.
1512
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:17,792
Look, don't worry.
I'll come up with something.
1513
01:12:18,710 --> 01:12:20,879
I promised you
the wedding of your dreams
1514
01:12:21,004 --> 01:12:23,256
and I'm not gonna
let anything ruin it.
1515
01:12:24,466 --> 01:12:25,967
Oh! (CLEARS THROAT)
1516
01:12:26,384 --> 01:12:28,762
I would like to
propose a toast.
1517
01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:31,097
These last few weeks
have really been something
1518
01:12:31,181 --> 01:12:32,766
for my lovely wife and me.
1519
01:12:32,849 --> 01:12:36,102
We have met some people
we didn't know existed.
1520
01:12:36,186 --> 01:12:39,606
We've experienced
some things we didn't
think were possible.
1521
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:42,817
We've always tried to make
the best of every situation.
1522
01:12:42,901 --> 01:12:44,694
This is a good situation.
1523
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:47,822
That's what I'm saying.
This is a wonderful situation.
1524
01:12:47,906 --> 01:12:51,993
The coming
together of two families
from different backgrounds.
1525
01:12:52,077 --> 01:12:55,747
So to our new son-in-law,
may we say Éireann go Bráugh.
1526
01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:59,125
And to our lovely
daughter Michelle,
L'Chaim.
1527
01:12:59,209 --> 01:13:01,044
Did I get that right?
Very good.
1528
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:04,631
And let's hope we can
sit many happy
shivas together.
1529
01:13:06,466 --> 01:13:08,343
Here's to
a wonderful wedding.
1530
01:13:08,426 --> 01:13:10,011
Cheers.
Cheers.
1531
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:18,394
See that, Shitbreak?
I told you I won.
1532
01:13:21,189 --> 01:13:22,190
Hey.
Hey.
1533
01:13:23,650 --> 01:13:28,321
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry if I freaked you out
with the whole kiss thing.
1534
01:13:28,822 --> 01:13:30,532
You didn't freak me out.
1535
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:33,284
I just wanted to
let you know that
1536
01:13:34,119 --> 01:13:36,162
you make me feel special.
1537
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:40,583
I think you're
the most special girl
I've ever known.
1538
01:13:41,709 --> 01:13:45,213
Maybe you'd
want to make things
extra special tonight.
1539
01:13:46,214 --> 01:13:48,091
Which room is yours?
1540
01:13:48,383 --> 01:13:50,385
I'm crashing at Kevin's.
1541
01:13:50,593 --> 01:13:51,719
Damn.
1542
01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:52,971
But I saw
1543
01:13:53,054 --> 01:13:56,766
a big, fluffy linen closet
at the end of
the main hallway.
1544
01:13:57,475 --> 01:13:58,476
Yes. Big,
fluffy linen closet is good.
1545
01:13:58,601 --> 01:13:59,644
Okay.
1546
01:13:59,727 --> 01:14:00,937
Midnight?
Yeah.
1547
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:02,397
All right.
Okay.
1548
01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:03,731
Oh!
1549
01:14:05,692 --> 01:14:08,236
(SINGING) I'm going to
have-a sex-a with-a Cadence
1550
01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:10,905
I'm going to have-a
sex-a with-a Cadence
1551
01:14:11,114 --> 01:14:12,323
Whoo!
1552
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:19,455
Jesus! You fucking stalker!
1553
01:14:20,290 --> 01:14:22,292
You're not
a very stealthy thief.
1554
01:14:22,417 --> 01:14:24,419
Really?
Guess what, Shitbreak?
1555
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,421
It's a wedding.
Everything's free.
1556
01:14:26,588 --> 01:14:28,256
What do you want?
1557
01:14:29,591 --> 01:14:32,760
Stifler, Jim's grandma
doesn't approve
of the wedding.
1558
01:14:33,261 --> 01:14:35,638
We're trying to
run interference,
1559
01:14:36,639 --> 01:14:39,601
and, reluctantly,
I am asking for your help.
1560
01:14:39,934 --> 01:14:42,770
Sorry, Finchmeister,
I got plans with Cadence.
1561
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:47,066
Stifler, maybe you could
forget about your dick
for one second
1562
01:14:47,150 --> 01:14:48,943
and actually be useful.
1563
01:14:49,736 --> 01:14:53,656
Fuck you, Finch.
You didn't eat shit, okay?
1564
01:14:53,740 --> 01:14:56,659
You didn't prance around
like a ballerina
for the whole week.
1565
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:59,871
Wedding this,
suck my ass that.
I'm special, you're special.
1566
01:14:59,954 --> 01:15:02,373
We're all just
a bunch of special fuckers,
aren't we?
1567
01:15:02,457 --> 01:15:05,752
You know what?
I'm-a gonna get laid,
Finchfucker.
1568
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:07,712
And it's gonna be oh-so-good.
1569
01:15:07,795 --> 01:15:09,255
It's gonna be like,
"You like this shit, momma?"
1570
01:15:09,339 --> 01:15:12,175
She's gonna be like,
"Fucking right, doggy.
Give it to me!
1571
01:15:12,258 --> 01:15:15,011
"Suck on my nipples
like you're milking a cow."
1572
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:16,512
Like... (SUCKING)
1573
01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:17,931
(MEWING)
1574
01:15:27,398 --> 01:15:28,900
You been here long?
1575
01:15:29,025 --> 01:15:30,318
(SUCKING)
1576
01:15:30,777 --> 01:15:31,903
Oh, shit.
1577
01:15:35,156 --> 01:15:36,157
Yeah...
1578
01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:40,245
Cadence, it is
my distinct pleasure
to introduce you
1579
01:15:40,453 --> 01:15:43,539
to the real Steve Stifler.
1580
01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:44,999
Hi.
1581
01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:46,334
Hi.
1582
01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:50,546
Pumpkin. (SIGHS)
1583
01:15:55,093 --> 01:15:57,220
You are quite
the gentleman, Stifler.
1584
01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,013
You could've told
me she was behind me.
1585
01:15:59,430 --> 01:16:03,476
Between Grandma,
Stifler, and Cadence...
The cake.
1586
01:16:03,851 --> 01:16:05,645
I mean, are you kidding me?
1587
01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:09,732
You know,
I thought I had grown
out of this sort of behavior.
1588
01:16:09,816 --> 01:16:14,112
But I keep messing up.
These things keep
happening to me.
1589
01:16:14,404 --> 01:16:16,531
If I can't bring it
together for one day,
1590
01:16:16,614 --> 01:16:19,701
how am I gonna
hold it together
for the rest of our lives?
1591
01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:22,370
I'm really afraid
this is how it's
always gonna be.
1592
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:25,873
Yeah, but you always
manage to get yourself
into serious shit,
1593
01:16:25,957 --> 01:16:29,043
and somehow you always
come out of it better
than you went in.
1594
01:16:29,127 --> 01:16:30,503
I don't know how,
but you do.
1595
01:16:30,586 --> 01:16:32,297
Everything is gonna be fine.
1596
01:16:32,380 --> 01:16:33,381
Yeah...
1597
01:16:34,757 --> 01:16:38,511
You need to come into
the kitchen right now.
There's... Yeah.
1598
01:16:39,387 --> 01:16:40,388
Jesus, now what?
1599
01:16:43,975 --> 01:16:45,226
(SIGHS)
1600
01:16:46,436 --> 01:16:49,564
There is no way to remake
all these in time, is there?
1601
01:16:49,731 --> 01:16:51,816
Something must have
disrupted the power.
1602
01:16:51,899 --> 01:16:54,319
The compressors need time
to reset after a power loss
1603
01:16:54,402 --> 01:16:55,653
or they overheat.
1604
01:16:55,737 --> 01:16:58,740
Essentially, it turns
the refrigerator
into an oven.
1605
01:16:58,823 --> 01:17:01,534
Stifler was in here
earlier flipping switches.
1606
01:17:03,161 --> 01:17:05,163
Michelle, I am so sorry.
1607
01:17:08,499 --> 01:17:09,500
Hey.
1608
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:15,381
Those flowers look hideous.
1609
01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:17,008
That's 'cause you
killed them, Stifler.
1610
01:17:17,091 --> 01:17:19,177
You've ruined everything.
1611
01:17:21,387 --> 01:17:23,222
What are you talking about?
1612
01:17:23,598 --> 01:17:27,060
You obviously don't care
about this wedding,
or anyone in it.
1613
01:17:29,437 --> 01:17:30,438
Cadence...
1614
01:17:34,359 --> 01:17:35,360
Jim?
1615
01:17:38,780 --> 01:17:40,573
Shitbreak, come on.
1616
01:17:47,038 --> 01:17:49,248
Maybe you should
just leave, Stifler.
1617
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,588
Fine. Adiós.
1618
01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:05,491
STIFLER: Fuckers!
It's not my fault!
1619
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:09,454
I'm not an electrical
Einstein. I'm not...
1620
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,082
Damn it.
1621
01:19:17,712 --> 01:19:18,921
Fuck!
1622
01:19:29,265 --> 01:19:31,309
Hey, flower fuckers,
you there?
1623
01:19:33,644 --> 01:19:34,729
"Zyskowski."
1624
01:19:46,449 --> 01:19:49,744
Hello? Are you awake?
1625
01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:53,414
Shit. Come on.
Come on. Anybody awake?
1626
01:19:53,831 --> 01:19:54,916
Oh!
1627
01:19:56,667 --> 01:19:57,960
Are you Ms. Zyskowski?
1628
01:19:58,085 --> 01:19:59,378
Who are you?
1629
01:19:59,462 --> 01:20:01,589
I'm the guy who just
killed all the flowers
1630
01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:03,925
for the Levenstein-Band
Geek wedding.
1631
01:20:04,050 --> 01:20:05,176
What?
1632
01:20:05,301 --> 01:20:06,469
Yeah, I'm that guy.
1633
01:20:06,594 --> 01:20:08,179
Now, what I need you to do
1634
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:10,723
is drag your ass down
to your little store,
1635
01:20:10,806 --> 01:20:12,558
gather up some flowers,
slice them,
1636
01:20:12,683 --> 01:20:14,435
dice them,
jam them all together,
1637
01:20:14,519 --> 01:20:16,604
and cart that crap
down to the wedding.
1638
01:20:16,687 --> 01:20:18,814
Are you completely insane?
1639
01:20:19,273 --> 01:20:20,858
You have no idea.
1640
01:20:20,942 --> 01:20:22,568
Even if I
overlooked the fact
1641
01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:25,196
that this is the rudest thing
I have ever encountered,
1642
01:20:25,279 --> 01:20:27,782
there is no time to
redo all that work.
1643
01:20:27,865 --> 01:20:31,160
I had four assistants
working two full days
on that wedding.
1644
01:20:31,285 --> 01:20:34,372
I'm sorry. It's impossible.
1645
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:38,251
(STIFLER SCOFFS)
1646
01:20:41,170 --> 01:20:43,589
We don't quit
at halftime, ma'am!
1647
01:20:43,714 --> 01:20:46,133
You don't score
until you score!
1648
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:53,140
That's the spirit,
sweetheart.
1649
01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:05,486
STIFLER: Come on.
Fuck the pain.
1650
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:07,822
You guys keep
working this hard,
1651
01:21:07,989 --> 01:21:09,532
we'll be able to
beat the Wildcats.
1652
01:21:09,615 --> 01:21:10,992
You remember how tough
they were last year.
1653
01:21:12,118 --> 01:21:14,412
Come on. Let's see
some determination.
1654
01:21:15,329 --> 01:21:16,914
Determination!
1655
01:21:17,373 --> 01:21:20,251
Hold the vase. That's it!
1656
01:21:21,836 --> 01:21:24,088
Come on.
Come on, keep working!
1657
01:21:28,384 --> 01:21:30,094
Good, Connor. Very good.
1658
01:21:30,177 --> 01:21:33,097
Good, De Boer.
It really sucks.
Go fix it.
1659
01:21:33,222 --> 01:21:37,226
Hey, party guy, having
a good time? Can I get
you a gin and tonic?
1660
01:21:37,727 --> 01:21:41,439
Hold on a second.
Hello? Okay. It's for you.
1661
01:21:41,522 --> 01:21:43,274
It's get to work, fucker.
1662
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:45,651
We are gathered here today
1663
01:21:45,735 --> 01:21:48,654
to join these
two great people
in a blessed union
1664
01:21:48,738 --> 01:21:50,865
and
blah-da-blah-da-blah
and crap.
1665
01:21:50,948 --> 01:21:53,159
Coach? This is kind of gay.
1666
01:21:55,286 --> 01:21:56,996
Yeah, it is.
1667
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:00,291
Good work.
1668
01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:01,667
Hey, no problem.
1669
01:22:03,461 --> 01:22:05,171
So, you got
a date for this thing?
1670
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:06,547
Don't push it.
Sorry.
1671
01:22:12,011 --> 01:22:13,387
Holy shit.
1672
01:22:14,347 --> 01:22:15,806
How the hell did this happen?
1673
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:17,391
It's a miracle.
1674
01:22:18,559 --> 01:22:19,769
Stifler.
1675
01:22:19,894 --> 01:22:21,103
Save it, dickhead.
I'm working.
1676
01:22:32,031 --> 01:22:33,240
You're an asshole.
1677
01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:34,659
I know.
1678
01:22:35,576 --> 01:22:37,244
You really are an asshole.
1679
01:22:37,411 --> 01:22:39,121
Thanks.
1680
01:22:39,664 --> 01:22:40,790
(CLEARS THROAT)
1681
01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:44,710
I don't do apologies
so good.
1682
01:22:46,295 --> 01:22:48,547
Well,
you get an "A" for effort.
This is amazing.
1683
01:22:48,631 --> 01:22:49,799
(LAUGHS)
1684
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:53,052
Cool. I was always
kind of a "C" student.
1685
01:22:54,136 --> 01:22:56,722
So did you do all this
just to have sex with me
1686
01:22:56,806 --> 01:22:59,308
or because you really care
about the wedding?
1687
01:22:59,392 --> 01:23:00,559
Both.
1688
01:23:02,645 --> 01:23:03,771
And...
1689
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,439
(CLEARS THROAT)
1690
01:23:06,065 --> 01:23:07,274
I really like you.
1691
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:08,693
What?
1692
01:23:11,237 --> 01:23:12,738
I like you.
1693
01:23:12,863 --> 01:23:14,365
That's an honest answer.
1694
01:23:15,241 --> 01:23:16,701
I gotta go.
1695
01:23:23,124 --> 01:23:26,711
Steve Stifler
just gave a rose to
a girl, and meant it.
1696
01:23:27,086 --> 01:23:28,504
This is huge.
1697
01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:32,258
It's like watching monkeys
use tools for the first time.
1698
01:23:32,967 --> 01:23:35,094
Are you still pissed
about me and Cadence?
1699
01:23:35,177 --> 01:23:36,721
No, let's see,
1700
01:23:36,804 --> 01:23:39,348
she wasn't into
the heavy
intellectual stuff.
1701
01:23:39,432 --> 01:23:42,059
She actually liked me
being that imbecile.
1702
01:23:42,435 --> 01:23:45,604
No. Somehow, I think
she's probably
better off with you.
1703
01:23:46,480 --> 01:23:48,232
Thanks, Shitbreak.
1704
01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,448
Dick. I fucking
hate not hating you.
1705
01:23:59,827 --> 01:24:01,662
I did fuck your mom.
1706
01:24:03,873 --> 01:24:04,957
Twice.
1707
01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:08,127
That's better, fucker!
1708
01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:09,462
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
1709
01:24:11,172 --> 01:24:12,214
Oh. Whoa!
1710
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:14,467
Ready to go?
1711
01:24:14,550 --> 01:24:15,634
Um...
1712
01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,344
The wedding's not
for another hour.
1713
01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:19,096
No, I mean you and me.
1714
01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:20,222
(GASPS)
1715
01:24:20,306 --> 01:24:21,640
Hold on.
1716
01:24:21,724 --> 01:24:23,851
Do I still got to do
this bullshit meeting?
1717
01:24:23,934 --> 01:24:26,103
Stifler, you are not
bailing on Jim.
1718
01:24:26,187 --> 01:24:29,148
Shit! Give me 10 minutes?
1719
01:24:32,485 --> 01:24:34,028
I'll meet you at the closet.
1720
01:24:34,153 --> 01:24:35,738
At the closet.
1721
01:24:43,245 --> 01:24:45,289
You wanted to
see me, Michelle?
1722
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,416
Oh! Okay. Sit.
1723
01:24:50,294 --> 01:24:53,964
So, Jim said
that you've always kind
of been there for him
1724
01:24:54,048 --> 01:24:55,341
when he needed you.
1725
01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:57,676
So I thought maybe
you could help me.
1726
01:24:57,968 --> 01:24:59,512
Jim said that?
1727
01:25:03,390 --> 01:25:05,226
What's the problem?
1728
01:25:09,522 --> 01:25:11,607
I still can't
get my vows right.
1729
01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:15,236
I haven't been this confused
since I got my first period.
1730
01:25:15,319 --> 01:25:17,947
That's a very confusing time
for any young lady.
1731
01:25:18,030 --> 01:25:21,367
You know, your body is
going through changes.
1732
01:25:23,828 --> 01:25:26,330
Stuff coming out,
stuff going in.
1733
01:25:26,872 --> 01:25:30,000
No. I need help with
my vows, not my period.
1734
01:25:30,084 --> 01:25:32,253
Oh, your vows.
(CHUCKLING) Your vows.
1735
01:25:32,670 --> 01:25:36,173
Yes, good. Go on.
1736
01:25:36,507 --> 01:25:39,260
Jim just wants
a groomsmen meeting
before the wedding.
1737
01:25:39,343 --> 01:25:43,305
It shouldn't take long.
Just don't let
her talk to anyone.
1738
01:25:43,389 --> 01:25:44,431
All right.
1739
01:25:44,598 --> 01:25:45,641
Be careful. She's feisty.
1740
01:25:50,187 --> 01:25:51,730
Okay, let's go.
1741
01:25:52,231 --> 01:25:55,484
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming out
here and meeting me.
1742
01:25:55,901 --> 01:25:58,195
I just have a couple
of things I want to say.
1743
01:25:58,279 --> 01:25:59,738
This sucks.
1744
01:26:04,034 --> 01:26:05,744
Did I say that out loud?
1745
01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:10,249
Keep going. It's good.
1746
01:26:11,458 --> 01:26:14,712
You know, I thought
about what you said, Kev,
1747
01:26:15,296 --> 01:26:18,424
about how my problems
always seem to work out.
1748
01:26:18,549 --> 01:26:22,595
And I realized that
the reason
things always work out
1749
01:26:23,637 --> 01:26:27,433
is because you guys
have always been there
to back me up.
1750
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:29,518
Even you, Stifler.
1751
01:26:32,021 --> 01:26:34,148
For the first time
in my life,
1752
01:26:34,690 --> 01:26:39,153
I actually feel like
I can't mess anything up.
1753
01:26:39,320 --> 01:26:40,654
(SCOFFS)
1754
01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:43,866
Which is pretty amazing.
1755
01:26:44,742 --> 01:26:50,456
So I guess I just
wanted to say thank you.
1756
01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,168
Thanks.
1757
01:26:55,502 --> 01:26:58,505
Thanks? This whole
thing was about thanks?
1758
01:26:58,631 --> 01:26:59,715
(GRUNTS)
1759
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:02,009
You're welcome, cock block.
1760
01:27:04,678 --> 01:27:06,680
That was good, Jim.
Real nice.
1761
01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:09,266
Let's get you married.
1762
01:27:09,350 --> 01:27:10,559
Okay.
1763
01:27:11,644 --> 01:27:15,064
Love is very
difficult to describe.
1764
01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:18,233
And I understand the angst.
I mean, it's your wedding.
1765
01:27:18,317 --> 01:27:20,778
And it's natural.
It's perfectly natural.
1766
01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:24,198
But it's impossible
to describe a feeling.
1767
01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:27,368
Okay, first,
nothing is impossible.
1768
01:27:27,701 --> 01:27:29,536
So let's not focus on that.
1769
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:32,039
Why do you think, Michelle,
1770
01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:35,542
they call it making love?
1771
01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:39,922
I don't know.
I just call it boning.
1772
01:27:42,216 --> 01:27:43,384
"Boning"?
1773
01:27:45,386 --> 01:27:47,429
When you're doing
other things with Jim,
1774
01:27:47,554 --> 01:27:49,682
when you're not boning,
1775
01:27:49,890 --> 01:27:52,059
how does he make you feel?
1776
01:27:53,602 --> 01:27:55,187
Horny, like I want to bone.
1777
01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:58,357
But we can't be boning
from sunrise to sunset, dear.
1778
01:27:58,565 --> 01:28:00,234
Oh, you've never tried it?
1779
01:28:00,442 --> 01:28:04,238
I certainly have.
I have. I've boned.
1780
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:08,242
From sunrise,
right through brunch,
on more than one occasion.
1781
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:10,285
But boning aside,
1782
01:28:11,745 --> 01:28:14,289
I think they call it
making love because
1783
01:28:14,832 --> 01:28:16,959
you have to make love work.
1784
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:21,005
You know, it's about
compromise and sacrifice
1785
01:28:21,088 --> 01:28:23,007
and I think Jim has
sacrificed for you.
1786
01:28:23,090 --> 01:28:25,718
My God, he shaved his
entire pubic region,
1787
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:27,928
which would
baffle most cultures
1788
01:28:28,095 --> 01:28:30,222
around the world,
but he did it.
1789
01:28:30,305 --> 01:28:33,434
And he did it for you.
1790
01:28:35,019 --> 01:28:38,647
You're right.
Love isn't just a feeling.
1791
01:28:39,440 --> 01:28:41,442
It's shaving your balls.
1792
01:28:42,443 --> 01:28:43,944
Thanks, Dad.
1793
01:28:45,195 --> 01:28:48,741
I wouldn't get
into too much detail
on that, dear.
1794
01:28:49,199 --> 01:28:51,076
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
1795
01:28:51,243 --> 01:28:53,120
Yeah. Excuse me.
Touch me. Fuck me.
1796
01:28:53,287 --> 01:28:55,205
I'm gonna have
sex with Cadence.
1797
01:29:04,798 --> 01:29:06,717
You know, Son,
I think this is probably
1798
01:29:06,842 --> 01:29:08,844
the right time to
tell you that...
1799
01:29:12,431 --> 01:29:13,891
I know, Dad.
1800
01:29:24,193 --> 01:29:25,402
(CLATTERING)
1801
01:29:25,527 --> 01:29:27,362
STIFLER:
I can't see anything here.
1802
01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:30,324
(CLATTERING)
1803
01:29:31,575 --> 01:29:33,243
Oh, there you are.
1804
01:29:34,536 --> 01:29:37,998
Guys, what are you doing?
Where's Jim's grandma?
1805
01:29:38,290 --> 01:29:40,626
The old bitch sucked.
We had to ditch her.
1806
01:29:40,709 --> 01:29:41,919
You what?
1807
01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:44,880
Don't worry.
We put her someplace
no one will find her.
1808
01:29:44,963 --> 01:29:46,173
(CLICKS TONGUE)
1809
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:48,092
Cadence, where are
you going?
1810
01:29:48,217 --> 01:29:49,718
Oh, Mom.
1811
01:29:51,637 --> 01:29:54,515
STIFLER: Oh, baby,
I'm so ready for this.
1812
01:29:54,598 --> 01:29:55,974
(UNZIPPING)
1813
01:29:56,975 --> 01:30:00,437
Your body's not quite
what I was expecting.
But that's okay.
1814
01:30:01,105 --> 01:30:03,690
The Stiffman digs
what's underneath.
(CHUCKLES)
1815
01:30:04,191 --> 01:30:05,234
(STIFLER MOANS)
1816
01:30:05,359 --> 01:30:08,320
Oh, you are so beautiful.
1817
01:30:10,030 --> 01:30:11,365
I just wanted...
1818
01:30:11,698 --> 01:30:12,741
(BOTH GASP)
1819
01:30:12,825 --> 01:30:13,867
Stifler!
1820
01:30:14,409 --> 01:30:15,536
Granny.
1821
01:30:15,702 --> 01:30:16,829
Granny what?
1822
01:30:16,912 --> 01:30:18,747
Focus! Focus! Focus!
1823
01:30:18,831 --> 01:30:19,873
(EXCLAIMS)
1824
01:30:19,998 --> 01:30:22,501
It's not what
it looks like!
1825
01:30:22,709 --> 01:30:23,752
(GROANS)
1826
01:30:24,002 --> 01:30:25,212
Shut the fucking door!
1827
01:30:25,337 --> 01:30:26,547
You got it, champ.
1828
01:30:26,630 --> 01:30:27,840
(GROANS)
1829
01:30:28,799 --> 01:30:30,134
(YELLS)
(CLATTERING)
1830
01:30:36,306 --> 01:30:38,225
(GUESTS EXCLAIM SOFTLY)
1831
01:30:40,727 --> 01:30:42,521
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
1832
01:30:50,863 --> 01:30:52,156
You're a hero.
1833
01:30:53,115 --> 01:30:54,950
Hey, pussy's pussy.
1834
01:30:57,035 --> 01:30:59,746
Look at the smile
on my mother's face.
1835
01:31:00,414 --> 01:31:03,834
Do you know how
long she's been waiting
for a day like this?
1836
01:31:04,126 --> 01:31:05,836
I can't imagine.
1837
01:31:11,925 --> 01:31:13,051
I couldn't be happier.
1838
01:31:13,177 --> 01:31:14,344
Thank you.
1839
01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:18,056
Don't.
1840
01:31:21,226 --> 01:31:23,145
Good luck.
Thank you, sir.
1841
01:31:28,609 --> 01:31:30,569
What made Grandma
come around?
1842
01:31:30,652 --> 01:31:32,112
Finch said
Stifler talked to her.
1843
01:31:32,279 --> 01:31:33,780
Stifler?
1844
01:31:37,284 --> 01:31:39,119
Grandmotherfucker.
1845
01:31:39,953 --> 01:31:41,747
You're a motherfucker.
1846
01:31:41,872 --> 01:31:43,749
Yes, I am.
1847
01:31:44,291 --> 01:31:46,251
You son of a bitch.
1848
01:31:47,419 --> 01:31:51,006
And I promise to love you
for as long as I shall live.
1849
01:31:51,632 --> 01:31:55,302
Michelle,
you are the one woman
I want to be with
1850
01:31:55,677 --> 01:31:58,138
and the woman
I can't be without.
1851
01:31:58,889 --> 01:32:00,057
I love you.
1852
01:32:00,182 --> 01:32:01,308
I love you.
1853
01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:07,022
(SNIFFS)
1854
01:32:17,950 --> 01:32:23,288
Jim, I had trouble
finding the words to
tell you how I feel
1855
01:32:24,373 --> 01:32:26,083
and I realized something.
1856
01:32:26,458 --> 01:32:28,752
Love isn't just a feeling.
1857
01:32:29,962 --> 01:32:32,089
Love is something you do.
1858
01:32:32,506 --> 01:32:35,926
It's a dress,
a visit to band camp,
1859
01:32:36,343 --> 01:32:38,262
a special haircut.
1860
01:32:39,680 --> 01:32:42,724
Jim, you've given me
everything I've ever wanted,
1861
01:32:43,225 --> 01:32:47,688
and it is my solemn vow
to give everything
I am to you.
1862
01:32:52,609 --> 01:32:53,860
Thanks.
1863
01:33:02,286 --> 01:33:06,415
James Emanuel Levenstein
and Michelle
Annabeth Flaherty,
1864
01:33:06,498 --> 01:33:09,293
I hereby pronounce you
husband and wife.
1865
01:33:09,960 --> 01:33:12,004
You may kiss the bride.
1866
01:33:29,980 --> 01:33:33,984
MAN: Let's all welcome
Mr. and Mrs.
Jim and Michelle Levenstein
1867
01:33:34,067 --> 01:33:35,527
onto the dance floor.
1868
01:33:35,610 --> 01:33:36,653
Just follow my lead.
1869
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:37,821
I'll try.
1870
01:33:37,946 --> 01:33:39,448
(MUSIC PLAYING)
1871
01:34:08,226 --> 01:34:09,728
(SOFTLY) I taught him that.
1872
01:34:10,771 --> 01:34:13,565
Jim, you learnt to dance.
1873
01:34:49,476 --> 01:34:50,852
(INAUDIBLE)
1874
01:34:55,357 --> 01:34:57,651
Well, it seems like
everything worked out.
1875
01:34:57,734 --> 01:34:59,152
Magnificently.
1876
01:34:59,319 --> 01:35:00,779
I feel a bit sad
1877
01:35:00,862 --> 01:35:04,157
that tonight
our little Michelle
is gonna be a woman.
1878
01:35:04,991 --> 01:35:08,078
Honey, you don't
honestly believe that
Michelle is still a...
1879
01:35:08,161 --> 01:35:11,873
I tell you, Mary,
I can't recall a single moment
with either one of them
1880
01:35:11,957 --> 01:35:13,792
that would make
me think otherwise.
1881
01:35:13,875 --> 01:35:15,710
Thank you. See?
1882
01:35:16,753 --> 01:35:18,296
(EXHALES) Whoa!
1883
01:35:26,346 --> 01:35:27,848
Hey, tough guy.
1884
01:35:28,014 --> 01:35:29,516
Stifler's mom.
1885
01:35:31,685 --> 01:35:33,228
Well, we meet again.
1886
01:35:34,563 --> 01:35:37,107
I was curious.
Didn't see you here.
1887
01:35:37,607 --> 01:35:39,901
I try to keep a low profile.
1888
01:35:40,193 --> 01:35:42,821
I never really did
like these things, anyway.
1889
01:35:42,904 --> 01:35:46,241
You know,
this has actually made
quite an impression on me.
1890
01:35:46,491 --> 01:35:49,161
I have something to
look for in a woman now.
1891
01:35:49,244 --> 01:35:52,664
Well, if this is your idea
of a proposal, Finchy,
1892
01:35:52,873 --> 01:35:54,749
you gotta know
that I'm over you now.
1893
01:35:54,833 --> 01:35:56,543
And I'm over you.
1894
01:35:57,669 --> 01:36:00,589
But as they say,
we will always have Paris.
1895
01:36:01,006 --> 01:36:02,048
And the pool table.
1896
01:36:02,132 --> 01:36:03,175
And the car.
1897
01:36:03,300 --> 01:36:05,218
And the two-room
suite I have upstairs.
1898
01:36:05,302 --> 01:36:06,720
Come here.
1899
01:36:12,684 --> 01:36:15,520
This turned out better
than I could ever imagine.
1900
01:36:16,062 --> 01:36:19,399
How did a little perv
like you turn into such
a great guy?
1901
01:36:19,858 --> 01:36:23,236
How did a little
nympho like you
turn into such a great girl?
1902
01:36:23,320 --> 01:36:24,571
I'm still a nympho.
1903
01:36:24,696 --> 01:36:25,947
I'm still a perv.
1904
01:36:26,239 --> 01:36:29,075
I know.
What's wrong with us?
1905
01:36:36,791 --> 01:36:38,710
You did it.
1906
01:36:47,844 --> 01:36:52,474
You know, Michelle,
to quote someone I've
learned quite a bit from,
1907
01:36:53,475 --> 01:36:55,894
I think you and I are
1908
01:36:55,977 --> 01:36:59,439
"a perfectly natural,
normal thing."
1909
01:37:01,066 --> 01:37:02,776
Perfectly natural.
1910
01:37:21,378 --> 01:37:22,379
That's her.
1911
01:37:22,462 --> 01:37:23,630
Holy shit, dude.
1912
01:37:24,381 --> 01:37:26,550
I told you this
wedding would be worth it.
1913
01:37:26,675 --> 01:37:28,843
Oh, my goddess. My queen.
1914
01:37:29,594 --> 01:37:31,555
My MILF.
MILF.
1915
01:37:31,805 --> 01:37:33,848
(BOTH REPEATING)
1916
01:37:36,059 --> 01:37:37,519
(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY)
1917
01:37:48,863 --> 01:37:51,032
No way, bro.
1918
01:37:51,491 --> 01:37:54,619
Hey, you're not
finished yet,
are you, Finchy?
1919
01:37:55,662 --> 01:37:58,707
No, ma'am.
Just getting started.
1920
01:37:59,374 --> 01:38:01,751
This guy is
the fucking master.
1921
01:38:03,962 --> 01:38:05,797
Oh, no!
1922
01:38:05,964 --> 01:38:07,799
Make it stop.
Make it stop.
1923
01:38:08,425 --> 01:38:10,302
Oh, Stifler's mom.
1924
01:38:11,636 --> 01:38:13,638
(LIGHT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1925
01:40:23,435 --> 01:40:25,729
(ALTERNATIVE
ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
134982
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