Original subtitles

10 points. 50 points.

Bonus points. 100 points.

Mom, he's ripping his guts out.

Oh, guardian angel. Crap.

Oh, no, God's getting us.

Mom, there's a blind man. Oh, nice.

Yes. Cool.

50 points.

10 points.

50 points.

I'm getting so good at being helper...

Dougie, shh, I'm on the phone.

Can I play online, if all my homework's done?

Yeah, Betty.

No, I'm in the car.

I'm going to pick up Jenna at the ferry.

She came home to spend Halloween with her brother.

Is that true love or what?

Jenna's my girlfriend. I'm gonna marry her.

- He says he's gonna marry her. - Yeah!

I don't think they got up to the word "incest"

in the third grade yet.

- You said "sex." - I said "incest."

And don't be so snoopy. Play your game.

She always takes Dougie out on Halloween.

She doesn't want to break the tradition.

I know.

When Jenna takes me, we're gonna find Satan,

and I'm gonna show him what a good helper I am.

There really is a Satan, right?

That's why I was calling you. I do have a costume.

I'm putting together this Carmen Miranda

and Chiquita Banana type thing.

It came to me in a dream.

Actually, I was stoned.

Huh!

- So is there? - What? Is there what there?

A Satan in real life?

Um, hey, Betty, can you hold on a sec?

Well...

ah, for man,

Satan represents evil.

And evil does occur here and everywhere in the whole world.

And so, in that sense, Satan does exist,

except that he doesn't look like anything.

He...

He doesn't go running around with horns and a tail.

Unless, of course, he's wearing a costume

like this little helper does.

Yes!

Hey, Betty, I see the ferry.

Jenna!

Jenna!

Jenna!

Jenna!

Dougie!

- Ahh, Dougie! - Jenna!

Oh, I missed you so much.

Okay, we're gonna find Satan when we go trick-or-treating.

We are? Let's see the costume.

Oh, Satan's Little Helper. That's so cool.

- Mom made it. - She did?

Well, then we better find Satan.

And I can do karate.

Oh, I'd better watch out.

Oh, Mom.

- Where's Dad? - Oh, he's at work.

On a Saturday?

Well, it's either that or he's having an affair.

Mom.

Show me your hands. Come on, show me.

- Oh, you're biting them again. - Don't embarrass me.

Mom, Dougie, this is Alex.

- Hi. - Hello.

Dougie, I've heard so much about you.

We met up at school, then we discovered

we're both from Bell Island and both theater majors too.

- Kind of a Kismet thing. - I'll say.

And since I was coming home for Halloween

and it's Alex's favorite holiday too,

I figure we can all go trick-or-treating together.

- No! - Dougie.

He gets kind of possessive.

He's had his heart set on marrying her.

Now, you're a competition.

Listen, I don't have to go trick-or-treating with you guys

if it's gonna ruin your plans with your brother.

No, no, he just needs to get used to you. I'm sure he'll be fine.

So, how is it that you guys never met before, I mean,

at least in high school?

Uh, I didn't go to Bell Island High.

So what? You went to boarding school?

- Boarding schools suck. - Dougie.

Believe me, boarding school was not my first choice.

His dad forced him.

Forced him? That's not very nice.

By the way, am I taking you home?

Actually, he's coming to our house. He might stay over. We're not sure.

What? Oh.

Dougie, where are you going?

To find Satan.

And without you.

Wait!

What's with all this Satan stuff all of a sudden?

Oh, your Dad got him this new video game called

Satan's Little Helper.

He's got it on this, on his computer.

Whoa, ha-ha-ha-ha.

- Mom. - What?

The door?

Take this, please.

Alex, our house. House, meet Alex.

Nice. Very homey.

You don't have to do that.

Oh, I can't help it.

When my dad divorced my mom,

he took one of his girlfriends with him to Japan.

Brought back the whole "no shoes in the house" policy.

Beat it into my head ever since.

Can't wait to see what you've got for costumes this year.

Actually, we don't have anything.

We've been totally racking our brains but can't come up with a thing.

Theater majors, shame on you.

I know. It's totally weird.

Would you like to wear what I made for myself last Halloween?

A Renaissance slut?

I still don't know what you were thinking.

Alex, help me here, will you? She is an actress, isn't she?

Last I heard.

Mother, that is so not me.

Come on, I still have it all in the attic. You get undressed.

I'll go look for it. Alex, make yourself at home.

Hmm...

And as soon as we're finished, I'll see if I can help you out.

If you get bored, play with this.

- No, Mom. - Come back here, you.

Come up the stairs.

What the heck are you supposed to be, Whooly?

Satan's Little Helper.

That is so gay.

Just wait till I find Satan and he sends you all to hell.

- Let's see how you laugh then. - Yeah, right.

Duh.

Ah, that is great.

That looks so real.

Haa. Ohh.

Oh, my God, they're like melons.

Yep, you are a lusty wench.

I can't let Alex see me like this. We just met.

I mean, you know, started dating.

Actually, it's our first official date,

and I can't believe my own mother's trying to turn me into a whore.

What is this about Alex not wanting to go home?

He doesn't get along with his Dad.

He didn't even tell him he was coming.

- Why? - Same old.

He doesn't want him acting.

Wants him to take over his toupee business.

His toupee business. His toupee—

You look at... look at yourself now.

Want some cider?

Isn't that a bit too much makeup, my lady?

Nah, the more, the better.

Not that the blokes be looking at me face

when they got these tender morsels in their hands.

Trick or treat!

Ahh!

Well, what do you think?

Wow!

- You look stunning. - Really?

I can't believe your mom wore that for Halloween.

I know.

Well, what you gonna be for All Hallows Eve, eh?

You know, I was just thinking.

Your brother's so into this game, maybe I'll dress as Satan

for him for Halloween.

Oh, that's a great idea.

I figured, I've lived with Satan all my life.

It should be easy to draw from him to get the character down.

- Hey, Alex. Cider? - Sure.

Mom, Alex got his inspiration. He's going to be Satan.

Oh, that's nice.

I bet this will make Dougie really happy.

I'm sure he'll start warming up to you.

I hope so.

Ah!

Hmm...

Oh, there! How the hell does he do that?

Crap, that is so cool.

Awesome.

Are you Satan?

Wait.

I'm Douglas Whooly. Can I be your helper?

Can you talk?

Then why don't you? 'Cause you don't need to?

How many points for killing that old guy? I forgot.

20? That's all?

So, Master, next could we send my sister's new boyfriend, Alex,

down to hell?

They go to college together, and they're at my house.

And I only want to go trick-or-treating with my sister.

And you don't have to worry, 'cause my dad's away at work.

Afraid God might see us?

So can you? And can I be your helper?

This is gonna be so fun.

Well, let's just let this cider cool off a bit.

Thanks, Jim. This Halloween marks the...

Oh, look, Billy Flarin.

...Billy Flarin arson incident.

Mayor Flarin assures us that this time around he's...

He went to my high school.

...adding that Billy has been born again and poses no threat to the community.

Nevertheless, fire officials are advising residents of Bell Island

to extinguish all candles from outside their homes.

Lisa G, WNTC News.

Bet you didn't have any arsonists at your school.

No, I guess I missed out.

I'm gonna go get us some special cider mugs.

She's so weird. I'm sorry.

I need to show you something.

If you need me to do karate, I can.

Look.

Hi-yah!

Was that good?

This could be our secret door to Hell.

So cool.

I hide down here all the time.

I can make all the noise I want, and no one hears me.

You can have some.

Are you wearing a costume so no one could see what you really look like?

Just like me?

Can I see?

Okay.

Oh, that so looks like blood.

Is Dougie back yet?

Dougie!

Dougie!

I'm down here, in hell!

Well, come on up! Alex wants to tell you something.

Okay, I'll get him to come downstairs, and then you can—

gsskk!

Duh, what kind of helper do you think I am?

- Ha-ha-ha, did you find Satan? - No.

Come downstairs. I have to show you something.

- Well, what's up? - Just something.

Oh, no, now, don't pull on him. You're gonna make him spill his cider.

Now, everyone, into the dining room, please.

Drink your cider in the dining room. You want some?

No.

Well, just go into the dining room and sit with your sister.

She came all the way just to see you. Go on.

So, Dougie, how about I dress as Satan for Halloween?

You could be my little helper, like in the video game.

- We can join forces. - No.

Why not?

You and Alex could be the Satan team from hell

and scare everybody when you go trick-or-treating.

I need you to come with me to the costume store.

As my official helper, I'm afraid that's an order.

That's an order.

Okay.

So I'll go with Alex to the costume store,

and you stay here with Mom.

But wait just one second.

Wha—

Psst, Master, it's your helper.

Okay, it's all changed.

I'll go with Alex to the costume store.

You just follow us, and when we come out,

you can just kill him and send him back to hell.

Okay?

Yes.

Come on, let's go.

Well, I guess we better get going.

Don't be too long.

I'll see you later.

Look, they're bonding. Isn't that cute?

- Will you stop biting... - Hmm-mmm.

Wait till you see what an incredible actor he is.

He is going to be so scary.

Sounds like you really like him.

What makes you say that?

- Are you jealous, you wench? - Oh.

- Ow. - Ow.

Allah be praised.

Hmm...

Jerk.

All right, Dougie, this is the place.

You coming? Come on.

All right, let's see what we have here.

- How's this? - That's not Satan.

I'm trying to find the one that looks most like my dad.

Why?

So I can draw on him for inspiration.

This is perfect.

Where's my toupee?

Here it is.

Come on.

Hey, Satan. Where's your pitchfork?

What, you think you're gonna be a big movie star?

You're gonna be a big nothin', that's all.

Do you hate him?

Well, actually, no, but he sure hates me.

Does he hit you?

Whenever he gets a chance, yeah.

Come on, let's just pay for that, and let's go.

All right.

Come on, let's go.

- Wait, hold on. Hold on. - Come on.

Come on!

Okay, let's go.

Come on. Come on, it's him. Get him.

How's he gonna get me? I'm Satan.

Okay, so, what did you want to show me?

Just something.

- Well, where is it? - You'll see soon enough.

Better watch out. Satan's getting you.

I don't get it. I don't get it.

How's he gonna get me if I'm Satan?

I don't get it.

Boo!

Pardon me.

Can you pose for a picture?

Thank you so much. You made our day.

Where's Alex? Did he get the costume?

- Yup. - And?

Well, where is he?

Helpers don't tell on their masters.

So you boys are into this game already.

I can see your boomies.

You're more like Satan's little pervert.

Ahh, that would be my laddie now.

That's not your laddie.

Oh, right, your master.

That is so fantastic!

Oh....

Mom, come see Alex. You won't believe it.

Yeah.

Now, he's looking at your boomies.

Feast your eyes on them, me good lord,

while we have this little dance.

This is so fun.

Jenna, I got cherries. I got bananas. I got grapes.

But I'm not sure about the onions. What do you think?

Oh, my God.

Oh, I gotta get a camera. Oh.

Hmm.

Alex?

Alex...

come here.

Listen, I love that mask.

It looks—

Me lord, Satan, we be feelin' a wee bit frisky, now,

aren't ya?

Come here.

I can't be kissing latex, so off with your hea—

God, you're really into this, aren't you?

Well, then have it your way.

No more.

Alex.

Jenna, is he getting you?

Alex.

That's really just pretend, right?

Yeah, of course it is.

We're just playing a game.

But that's not Alex.

Oh, right.

It's Satan.

Me Lord of Darkness will have to keep it in

his britches for now.

Run!

Whaaa!

Don't get her, she's my sister.

Jenna, run.

Jenna, hide before he gets you.

Okay, where? Here?

Whoo, he's scary.

He's locking the door.

Hmmm.

Ah-ha-ha. Whoa.

Hey, what did you stop for? It was an amazing picture.

Come on, dance.

Ha-ha-ha.

Alex, that's too weird. Stop.

Would you say something?

He doesn't talk. He doesn't have to.

Come on and see my room.

It's really cool.

Come on.

I can't beli—

Isn't that the creepiest thing you ever saw,

the way he just stares at you and you have to figure out

what he's thinking?

Ah, love, huh?

Ah, damn it. I forgot all about it.

Because I was concentrating on picking you up at the ferry,

it completely slipped my mind.

Money's gonna have to do.

Hello! Hello.

- Happy Halloween. - Trick or treat.

I have no candy, but I have a dollar bill for you

and a dollar bill for you.

- Thank you. - Happy Halloween.

Bye.

Oh, yes.

You know, maybe I have some candy left over from last year.

Oh, you're not serious.

That's gross.

- Not if it's sealed. It'll be fine. - Eww.

It's so fun how my sister thinks you're Alex,

and then you pretend to get her.

I didn't think you'd come back because Halloween is your busiest time.

But you'd rather spend it with me?

Let me show you.

I'm getting to be the best helper. I'm getting so good.

Come on. Come on.

Recognize anyone from your family?

I can't believe you have absolutely no candy.

Well, look a little harder.

Um...

oh, that's gross.

- So what are you doing tonight? - Me?

You remember the Andersons?

The rented Bell Tower Castle for a Halloween party.

Hmm, fun.

Wait till you see what I'm wearing.

Quiche.

I am supposed to bring the quiche.

Okay, no candy. Just these.

Well, what am I supposed to do about it?

I'm out... out of dollar bills.

The little buggers are going to be egging the house.

Chill, Mom. No one's egging the house.

- They're going to be egging the house. - Chill!

Just make your quiche.

Don't worry, it's just some dumb trick-or-treaters.

Is it God? Master.

Could God come as a trick-or-treater?

Oh, crap.

Let's go see.

Master, if it's God, I'll tell him you went back to hell.

Okay?

- Trick or treat. - Coming.

- Happy Halloween. - Happy Halloween.

Sorry, no candy. I got two bucks left.

- Thank you. - Have a good day.

Jenna, is it God?

No, sorry. Just a witch.

Would me knights in hellish armor serve this damsel

in distress and quest for some sweets at the confectionery?

Huh?

Go buy some candy at the grocers.

The master doesn't go shopping.

Very good.

I cannot believe you're keeping this up. I'm going to have nightmares.

Come on.

Thanks again for doing this for my brother.

If it was up to me, you'd get an Oscar.

So, Master, where did you put Alex?

Can I see?

Okay.

Candy's over that way, Master.

Is all that stuff to tape people up, kill them, and spill their guts out?

Awesome.

But not my mom and sister,

even in pretend.

You have to promise.

Make the Satanic Salute.

Wait, what about the candy?

Whatever I want?

Yes.

But we didn't pay.

Oh-ho!

- Hey, wait a minute. - He's coming!

Ha-ha-ha.

Don't you know anything? Satan does not have to pay.

I'm his helper, and I say for this, you shall die.

Yeah, well, that's great. But I'm not playing any games.

Wait till he smells all the garbage.

See what you get for disobeying Satan?

20 points.

Yeah.

Look, a pregnant lady.

Ahh-ahh, cool.

Yeah!

50 points. Yeah!

Try to hit the baby carriage.

Ahh!

100 points. Oh, yeah.

Whoo-hoo! Yeah.

This is so fun, master.

Over there, blind man, blind man!

Argh!

Bonus points.

Master, could you take me to hell?

Ah, sweet.

We're trick-or-treating?

But I wanted to do it with Jenna too.

Okay. Crap.

Let's go.

I should stand guard in case God comes?

Okay.

Satan's helper on the lookout.

All right, all right, all right, I'm coming.

Aren't you a little too old to be trick-or-treating?

I'm coming as fast as I can.

Oh, okay, okay, I'm coming. I'm coming.

Don't worry, I'm coming.

Where did you get that coat?

Looks like you robbed it from a Hasid.

All right, all right, I got your candy. Just a minute.

Here's your candy.

Oh! Ah!

Oh, I hope God doesn't see us.

Hey, Whooly, who are you going trick-or-treating with?

Oh, just Satan.

Yeah, Satan. Ha-ha.

Ahhh!

Oh, that looks so real!

Holy shit!

They thought that was real. Jerks.

Nice job.

That was awesome.

Dad, open up!

Did you hear the door?

Ah, come on, ignore it. It's Halloween.

But I love giving out the treats.

Well, then give out a few right here

and then throw in a few new tricks while you're at it.

Dad, open up!

Dad, it's me! Come on, open up! I need help!

Dad, open up!

Alex? What the hell is he doing home?

Who's Alex?

My son.

Excuse me?

I have a son in college, if you can believe it.

That is if you can call a bunch of acting classes college.

Dad, I need help!

Sounds like he's in trouble.

I should stand guard again?

You got it, Master.

Oh.

Vernon, come see what your son's wearing.

Oh, I'm sure it's very dramatic.

It sure as hell is.

Hi, Alex.

I'm Nicole. I work for your dad.

Alex, what the hell's come over you?

Take that thing off.

And take those things off your feet before you step foot in this house.

Have you lost your mind?

What the hell is that school doing to you?

Can I have some candy? I'm your helper.

Huh?

Mrs. Sylvia Tishbaum.

Oooh!

I should mix this with the candy and make people have diarrhea

all over the place and puke their guts out.

Sweet.

Hell is so fun.

Come on.

Sir, step away from the boy. Take the mask off.

Master, don't you want to run?

- Sir, step away from the boy. - You don't have to?

Place your hands on your head now.

Where were you?

And where's Alex?

Okay, we went to the store and got the candy,

then Satan let me ride in the shopping cart,

and we ran all these people over.

Then he took me to hell, where we went trick-or-treating.

It was so cool.

My master hung this old lady out the window,

and we poisoned all the candy.

Dougie, where is your master?

The police got him, but he doesn't care,

'cause he'll just tape them up and cut their guts out.

Dougie, do you realize what you're saying?

Start giving out the candy, fill up those little bags I found,

and when Satan comes, tell him I'd like to have a little talk with him.

Coming.

Trick or treat.

Hey, why aren't you out trick-or-treating?

- Yeah, with Satan. - Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Do you know what?

At least I didn't think that stupid hanged lady was real.

- Hey, we were trying to trick you. - Lie.

Just give us some candy.

Yeah, little helper.

Just one second.

Come on, Whooly, hurry up in there.

Okay, one for you. Have a happy Halloween.

- Finally. - One for you.

- Enjoy your candy. - Thank you.

- One for you. - Drive safely.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

It's anarchy! Anarchy!

You must take sanctuary in the cathedral at once.

The police station burns with the fire of hell.

Soon all the constables will be dead.

And then, God help us.

Hey, man, cut out all the bullshit. What are you talking about?

Yo, man, I'm not kiddin'.

Three cops finded dead.

There's only two of them left on the whole fuckin' island.

You better get your ass home fast.

Anarchy! Anarchy!

Will you stop shaking the floor? You're going to ruin my quiche.

I cannot believe he's not home yet.

I'd really like to know what's going on.

Maybe he just changed his mind and visited his dad.

Yeah, and maybe he went off to some party without me.

Or maybe he went to visit an ex-girlfriend.

Do you know what he told Dougie?

He said that they're going to use knives to cut people's guts out

and poison kids.

You think that's normal.

I got it.

That's probably him.

What took you so long? You could've called or something.

I told you. You never listen.

Come on, you have to catch me. Then you can take me back to hell.

And what's this telling him about taped-up mouths

and knives...

and then actually buying this stuff?

This is all pretty sick, don't you think?

Alex, stop right now.

It's not funny.

Talk.

Say something, or I'll—

Okay, I think you're way overdoing it,

and I really wish you would just cut it—

Alex, I'm serious. Stop.

Come on, you're not getting me.

Ah.

Oh, my God.

I'm not waiting for your father anymore,

so I'm going on ahead to the party.

That's not Alex.

That's someone else in that costume.

Well, of course it's Alex. Who else could it be? Oh—

- Argh. You're in the game. - Shh.

Dougie?

Dougie!

Dougie, come out. I have to tell you something.

Dougie.

Dougie, come down. I have to tell you something.

It's normal when you're playing hide-and-seek not to make any noise.

Shh.

Dougie?

Ah, we got customers. Douglas!

Will you come down here and help us with the candy?

Please.

I had such a good hiding spot,

and you had to ruin it.

Trick or treat.

What are you supposed to be?

I'm a serious businessman coming home to check out

my son's excellent costume.

Look how great this is.

You look just like Satan's little helper, just like the game.

And Jenna in Mom's old costume.

Chiquita.

Bell Tower Castle, here we come!

We are gonna rock that place, my darling.

And the dip.

Whoa-ah-ha, your costume's waiting for you upstairs.

You're an elf.

- Ah-ha-ha-ha! - Shut up.

- An elf. - Mmm-hmm.

You said leave it to me.

- I am gonna catch so much shit for this... - Mm-hmm.

By the way, what are those cops doing parked outside?

Let go, we're still playing.

Dad, go tell those cops there's a psycho in our house.

What did I walk into here?

Alex dressed up as Satan to go along with Dougie's outfit—

Whoa, who's Alex?

Alex is Jenna's friend from school.

He came here to spend Halloween with us.

Anyway, they are ensconced in this game, which, frankly,

I think is getting a little out of hand.

Let go, or Satan's helper will karate you.

Come on, hell boy, let's go check out Daddy's elf costume.

Put me down!

You can't go up there.

Are you serious?

Satan's not even up there.

He's down in the basement so he can get back to hell,

in case you were God ringing the doorbell.

Yeah, well, he's in big trouble now, boy,

'cause I just happen to be one of the avenging angels.

Will you guys stop horsing around? 'Cause we gotta go.

Put me down, or I'll tell Satan to cut your guts out.

Oh, yeah?

Well, go ahead, because I got God watching my back.

Satan, quick, come and spill his guts out.

Ahh!

No! Ahhh!

I didn't mean it.

No! No.

I want you to run. Run.

Ahh.

Come. Get up.

No!

Go, go, go. Go, Jenna.

Come on!

Come on!

Oh!

Jenna!

Mom?

Oh, God.

Mom?

Dougie!

Mom.

Mom!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

- Jenna. - Oh.

Master said all the dead people were pretend, but he lied.

Stop calling him master! Where's Mom?

He took her.

I'm going after them.

But he'll kill you!

Look, stay here

and lock the door.

Don't open up for anyone, no matter what.

Try not to look at Daddy, okay?

Here, hold on to this till I get back.

Oh, my—

- Jenna! - Oh!

God, Alex.

T-this ps-psycho comes home with Dougie a-and he—

I thought he was you.

And he killed my dad, and he took my mom.

Jenna, Jenna, was this guy wearing a black coat and a white mask?

- Yeah. - That's the same guy that jumped me.

- Your brother set me up. - No, he thought it was just a game.

Yeah, some game. Where is he?

He's back at the house.

All right, where did they go?

He knows about that party at that castle.

I bet he took her there.

Look, you have to help me get her.

Jesus Christ.

There's no keys. We got this.

Come on, let's go.

I don't know.

It could be the guy from the news report.

Billy Flarin?

I ran into a guy who told me that the police station

burned to the ground.

Isn't that what Billy was known for?

So much for being born again.

Yeah, well, with those last two cops dead, there's no police left on Bell Island.

We're in Dodge City now.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

I've taken the last beating I'm ever gonna take today. Come on.

No, the party's this way.

Yeah, but he already knows what we look like.

I need to get close enough to use this thing.

Greetings.

I am Queen Frances.

Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you all right?

Let me help you up.

Damn it.

Can you bend your legs a little?

I don't know what happened. She just fell.

You guys bustin' my chops?

Have a good night. Enjoy the party.

That fruit lid, it's the bomb.

Merrill?

What a great Chiquita!

But what's with the tape?

Chiquita the mummy?

You really were stoned.

And Dean is what? A goat man.

He's no goat man. He's the devil.

And I've never seen him this horny.

Greetings, dears.

I am Queen Frances,

but you two can call me Mumsy.

I am delighted that you have arrived for our festive gala.

Where the hell's the quiche?

Come on, Harry. Take a picture of me with Mr. Horny.

Oh, ah-ha.

Oh, my, he really is horny.

Greetings, I am Queen Frances.

Hey, I think you broke your cherry.

♪ He's a great humanitarian, he's a great philanthropist ♪

♪ He knows just where to touch you, honey ♪

♪ And how you like to be kissed ♪

♪ He'll put both his arms around you ♪

♪ You can feel that tender touch of the beast ♪

Hey, smash that sucker.

God,

this is Douglas Whooly.

I'm sorry for helping Satan,

and now I need your help to get him

away from our house and to make him go back to hell.

I promise to be good forever and ever if you do.

I swear to you.

And amen.

We have to hurry.

I can't see in this thing.

Jesus, smells like someone puked in this thing.

Oh, God.

Whoo, how's she like the punch, Mr. Satan?

Hey, Dean, Betty told me you were gonna be an elf.

What happened, you chicken out?

So here's to, uh—

What the hell are you two supposed to be?

- We're a he/she. - Oh.

Not bad.

Bad.

Ew, gross.

That's Billy's dad, Mayor Flarin.

Oh, I love trolls, man.

I saw Shrek three times.

Mrs. Flarin, we need to talk to your son, Billy.

Careful talkin' to birds, Janice. Their talk is cheep.

Let's cut out the chitchat. Where's your son?

Alex.

Oh, my God. Mom!

Get out of my way.

I'm coming. Mom.

Damn it, just let me go.

Please, get out of my way! Let me through!

Mom! Watch it.

Mom! Mom, where are you?

Move out of my way. Move.

Let me through.

Mom!

Does anybody have nails?

Does somebody have nails?

No, I'm sorry.

Shit!

Get me some water. Get me some water!

Hey, watch it, asshole.

Alex?

Alex?

Are you okay?

Take care of her.

Listen, I'll be back. I'm gonna go get Alex, okay?

Betty, call for help. Go get help.

Look, look, look, look, look, look!

Satan's ripping out his guts. I just got extra points for that.

I need the keys to the red SUV.

You need a ticket, love.

Hey, you!

Fuck her.

What's up, my nigga?

All right, who are you?

You better say something, or I'm gonna blow

your fuckin' head off.

Dad?

I hate you.

Alex!

Alex.

- Did you find him? - Yeah.

And?

It's my father.

Get in.

What are you talking about? Did you see his face?

You got the mask off.

- No. - Then how do you know?

He could've killed me when he had the chance.

Instead he took the gun, and he shot his own hand

and then handed it back to me just to humiliate me,

to show me he can keep on doing it forever.

Which way did he go?

I don't know, maybe home?

That's our house.

Alex.

Alex?

Give me the gun.

Put your hands up!

Kneel down on the ground!

Kneel down on the ground now!

He's in hell where he belongs.

I'll go home. I'll get Dougie.

We'll pick up my mom and find the police.

And, Alex, don't blame yourself.

The only one to blame is him.

Go away. I'm not answering.

Duh, God could come as a trick-or-treater.

Yes, you came.

Oh, thank you so much.

Come in.

I remember that Satan was afraid

because you can come as a trick-or-treater,

and you can be wearing a costume just like he did.

He's not here. He took my mom.

My sister went to get her, but she didn't come back yet.

You want me to come with you?

Is that real blood?

In real life?

Does God talk?

He doesn't have to, like Satan?

Jenna!

Okay, you go get Satan.

I'll make sure he doesn't get my sister.

Jenna! Jenna!

Dougie.

Jenna!

Jenna.

Didn't I tell you to stay in the house?

Yeah, but God said.

God?

I prayed for him to come and help us, and he did.

See, here's his blood.

Get in, quick.

Let's see.

Okay, Dougie, are you telling me the truth, or did you touch Daddy?

No, I swear I didn't touch him.

Then whose blood is this?

I told you, it's God's.

Okay, who was he, and what did he look like?

You know, Jesus. He's wearing a costume.

But I know he was real, 'cause he had real blood.

Was he bleeding from his hand?

When you were trick-or-treating, did Satan kill Alex's father?

When we were trick-or-treating, he threw a guy out a window.

Was it a big brick house?

That man was Alex's father.

And Jesus is Satan.

Mom!

It was so horrible.

He poisoned the punch.

It's so... it's so horrible.

It's okay.

It's okay.

So he hasn't come back.

- He's gone. - Where is he?

He's gone, okay? He's gone.

Oh, God.

But why?

Why? Why us?

If it isn't Alex, then who is it?

Oh, God. Alex.

He thinks that maniac is dead.

It's okay.

Aah!

Alex.

Fuck!

There's no answer. I gotta go.

No, you are not going out there.

- I have to. - No.

Fran Anderson called the Bay Shore police.

A helicopter will be coming here any minute now.

I don't care.

No, I have just lost a husband.

I am not going to lose you.

Don't go out there. He'll kill you.

Okay.

Ahh.

I think it's down in the basement.

You—

It's Satan.

That's how he gets back to hell.

- Just let him go back to hell! - Shh!

He killed Daddy.

His ass is fucking grass.

Pick it up.

Shh, Shh.

Ahhh!

It's him!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

Ahhh!

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh, God. Alex.

Alex, no. Alex.

Mom! The helicopter.

I'm gonna go out and get it.

Dougie, you stay where you are.

Alex!

Dougie!

Wait, come back. He's still getting us.

Come on! He's still getting us.

Come back.

Hello, helicopter, could you hear me?

This is Douglas Whooly. Turn around. Come and save us.

We live at 66 Helen Street. Come fast.

And over and out.

You heard me?

Great.

Come on.

Mom! Mom, come on up.

The police are here. We're safe.

Come on. Come on, snap out of it.

Come on.

Oh, thank God.

Come in.

Mom, why doesn't he say something?

He's afraid Satan will hear him.