Original subtitles

All: [ Harmonizing ] ♪ We

♪ Are in the future

♪ Here we are in the future

♪ And it's bright

♪ Ah

♪ I can't believe

♪ We've come so far

♪ "Steven Universe: Future"

♪ Here we are

♪ "Steven Universe: Future"

[ Dance music playing ]

[ Gasps ]

Alright!

Now that I've saved the universe,

I can finally party!

[ Panting ]

♪♪

[ Squealing ]

Huh?

Hey, guys!

What's the deal? Let me in!

Cookie Cat: Steven.

No one needs your help, so why are you still here?

What?

Aaah!

[ Gasps ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Why do I keep having these horrible dreams?

[ Knocking on door ]Peridot: Steven!

Peridot?

Steven, Steven, Steven, Steven, Steven!

Today is the day! Did you tape it?

What are you talking about?

You promised me!

Oh, are you talking about the reboot

of the classic great northern teen drama

"Camp Pining Hearts" that I recorded...

on this tape?

[ Gasps, squeals ]

Both: The return of "Camp Pining Hearts"!

You know, I'm so glad you're here.

I've been having some weird dreams lately.

Shh! That's great. Now press play, you monster!

[ Beep ]

[ Mid-tempo music plays ]

♪♪

Rodrigo: Oh, Jasmine, I wish you would fly into my arms,

but every time...

Wha-- Wha--

Both: What have they done?!

What is with this Rodrigo guy?

He has no charisma!

And can we talk about this cinematography?

Gahhhh, they've changed all the characters,

and I don't care about any of them!

Aah! Yah!

How could you do this to me?

[ Sobbing ]

"Camp Pining Hearts" helped me escape

when everything around me was in chaos.

"CPH" brought us together.

And now look at this nightmare!

Steven, you didn't tell me that they cast you!

What? They didn't.

I-Is this...my dream from last night?

Aaah!

Whoa! My -- My powers must be interfering with the TV signal!

Steven!

Do you know what this means?

I have to start wearing a tinfoil hat?

No! It means that if we can put your dreams on the television,

we can reboot the reboot!

Reboot the --

Peridot, you're a genius!

I know.

And, well, it might be fun to fix something

that isn't the entire universe.

Aah!This is going to be the beginning

of Peridot and Steven Productions!

Yeah!

So, Peridot, do you think Jasmine's end game

is Khaz or Rodrigo?

The writers are clearly trying to railroad us

into a Jasdrigo partnership,

but, gah, these characters have no chemistry!

Just can't get into Rodrigo, can you?

He's so infuriatingly passive!

Hey, hey, I get that his social anxiety and poutine allergy

aren't really connected to the larger story,

but maybe if he just had some kind of foil?

A foil.

Interesting.

I got it!

A hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles

and everyone always wants to hang out with him.

Despite the blessing and curse of his popularity,

he still makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo

with his confidence!

Bold. I like it!

Good work, Stefan!

Why are you eating right at bedtime?

Oh, this chili? [ Gulps ]

I read that eating spicy foods before bed

makes your dreams super vivid.

Huh, I appreciate your initiative.

Aw, thanks.

Just don't forget.

Action-oriented storytelling.

[ Bird screeches ]

Hey, Jasmine, I hear you love birds.

Sure! [ Giggles ]

Well, a little birdy told me that downstream,

there's an island full of rare specimens.

[ Gasps ] Did you hear that?

Thanks, Stefan. You're the best.

Stefan: Hey, Rodrigo.

This is terrible.

Jasmine is in danger!

W-What?

She's headed toward an island full of dangerous birds!

But if we go downstream, we can save her!

Okay! Thanks, Stefan. You're the best.

Thanks, Stefan. You're such a great guy!

Oh, you're great, too, you know.

Great enough for Jasmine to like you.

What?

I can tell from the way she looks at you.

[ Dolphin chattering ]Huh?

♪♪

-Uhhhhh. -Stefan!

What's happening to you?

Aah!

Aaaah!

Oh, no! Not again!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Steven! You did it!

You just fell asleep and you started glowing pink.

And then the TV went on the fritz, and then --

Oh, I'll just show you!

Our script, our story!

I watched the whole thing live!

Not sure what you were going for at the end there.

That was pretty bizarre, but for a first attempt...

Steven?

Oh, sorry.

Just feeling a little off.

Guess maybe the chili was a bad idea.

Ehh, don't worry about it.

Our budget is nothing, and our schedule is infinite.

That's right. I can do a re-dream.

We can do as many as we want until we get it right.

Less talking, more sleeping.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Birds squawking ]

Huh?

I've come to the conclusion that we keep failing

because we're relying on a script

when we should have taken a more visual approach.

So I've prepared this storyboard for you.

You drew all of this in one night?

Well, duh! I'm good at everything.

Study these boards in preparation for this re-dream.

Oh, okay.

Wow, you really posed this out.

Thank you!

Huh?

Hey, Peridot, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?

It's perfect, right?

Just as Rodrigo is about to swoop in

and save his teenage dream, he stumbles upon [Gasps] Stefan,

his good friend whom he trusts so much, kissing Jasmine,

thus stoking the fire of Rodrigo's jealousy!

I can't do Rodrigo dirty like that!

Whoa, Steven. Hold on.

You're talking about them like they're real people.

It's just a story.

And a story needs conflict.

No, I can't do this!

Look, Steven, you seem pretty agitated.

Let's just call this whole thing off.

What?There's no point if you're gonna get all worked up over it.

[ Sighs ] I should probably be getting back

to Little Homeworld anyway.

No, wait!

I'll do it.

[ Bird screeches ]

Stefan: Hey, Rodrigo.

This is terrible!

Jasmine is in danger!

W-What?

She's headed toward an island full of dangerous birds!

But if we go downstream, we can save her.

Okay! Thanks, Stefan. You're the best.

Wow. Stefan is so great.

[ Gasps ] What?

Stefan!

How could you?

Uh...

♪♪

Aaaah!

[ Breathing heavily ]

Peridot?

Peridot! Come on, we gotta stop!

Are you listening to me? Why won't you look at me?

[ Static buzzing ]

[ Groaning ]

Peridot!

Peridot, where are you?

Peridot!

[ Dance music playing ]

♪♪

Peridot! Wait!

Grr!

Steven: Stop! Don't go in there!

Please, I still really want to hang out with you!

Huh?

Peridot!

We've always had something to fix together!

The Cluster, the Diamonds, or Spinel!

I don't think I know how to be a friend

without something to fix!

But I just can't do it anymore!

I'm so tired.

Now I'm even doing it in my dreams!

I'm sorry I can't do this for you!

Please don't leave!

Don't leave.

Peridot: Steven.

Steven! Steven!

[ Sobbing ]

Steven, I saw everything!

It -- It's fine!

We don't have to do this anymore.

I don't care about the show!

And I definitely don't care about Rodrigo.

Grr! I'm such a clod!

But I really wanted to spend time with you.

I just wanted an excuse to hang out.

We don't need an excuse to hang out.

Can we still watch "CPH" together?

Even if it sucks?

[ Chuckles, sniffles ]

Of course.

How could you lie to me like that, Rodrigo?

I guess you just can't help being a bad person!

[ Both laughing ]

Jasmine, you just buried a body in the woods,

and now you're mad that Rodrigo cheated at cards?

[ Both laugh ]

This show is the worst!

This show is the best.

♪♪

♪ Being

♪ Being human

♪ Just a little time