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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Why aren't you dressed?
2
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:08,107
Well, brunch isn't till 10:00.
3
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Right, but then we go early, we get
a table close to the buffet, right?
4
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,346
'Cause you can't sit right at it.
5
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We learned that at Sizzler.
6
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,118
Just call Kristin and ask
her to save us a table.
7
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I mean, we have some pull.
8
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She created the whole
thing. We created her...
9
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Nah.
10
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,359
Nah, then she's got bigger
fish to fry... literally.
11
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:30,029
This seafood buffet she created is amazing.
12
00:00:30,031 --> 00:00:33,699
It's like the ocean just
puked all over a table.
13
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I know why you want to go early.
14
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- The brunch is her baby...
- No.
15
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...she's your baby.
16
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,305
You want to make sure everything goes okay.
17
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,174
What are you talking?
She's got this all covered.
18
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:43,509
She's doing a great job.
19
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,010
She was at work last night till 1:00 A.M.
20
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Yeah, and how do you know that?
21
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,548
I was just there, you know, making
sure the lobsters don't claw her.
22
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:50,482
I don't trust those rubber bands.
23
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,184
- Honey...
- They're very, very small.
24
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,853
It is okay to admit that you
want to protect your daughter.
25
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,655
- It's sweet.
- I'm not protecting her.
26
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,824
I just want to make sure
the brunch goes okay.
27
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Yeah, that's called protecting.
28
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(Raspy) Oh. Hey, you guys.
29
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Um... I've got this thing.
30
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It's a... sore-throat thing.
31
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Mm-hmm.
32
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:14,373
So, uh, yeah...
33
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,042
I'm not gonna be able
to go to church today.
34
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,411
We're not going to church.
35
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,181
Today is Kristin's first brunch.
36
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(Clears throat)
37
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Oh, wait. Oh, my God!
38
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(Gasps) Hold on.
39
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(Chuckles) I'm all better!
40
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I'm healed! Yes!
41
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Wow, that's a miracle.
(Chuckles) Praise the Lord.
42
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You know, maybe you can
go to church next Sunday,
43
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and you can thank him personally.
44
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(Laughs) Okay. I'm gonna go get dressed.
45
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I have the perfect brunch outfit.
46
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It says I'm here to pick up my food,
look fabulous, and judge others.
47
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,474
Mandy, hey.
48
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:49,708
You can't be late for this, okay?
49
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:52,644
I know you'd like to make an entrance,
but today's your sister's big day.
50
00:01:52,646 --> 00:01:53,946
Let her shine.
51
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:57,149
Okay, fine, but who just got over a
really brave battle with illness?
52
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,487
Why do her fake illnesses
give me a real headache?
53
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,422
I'm gonna get ready. I'll meet you there.
54
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,923
All right. Doll yourself up.
55
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:08,327
You're competing with
scallops wrapped in bacon.
56
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:34,786
About time, Mikey.
57
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,956
Yeah, I'm the worst.
58
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:40,626
Coming in an hour early on my day off.
59
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:41,660
Thanks for being here.
60
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,961
Hey, no problem.
61
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,596
If I was home, I'd be watching TV.
62
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,833
Here, I'm watching like
eight TVs, and I get overtime.
63
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,302
You know, this whole concept of brunch
64
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,804
- doesn't make any sense to me.
- Well...
65
00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:54,306
I mean, you get breakfast and lunch
66
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,608
and you charge 'em once.
67
00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,444
Who's the genius that
came up with that idea?
68
00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:03,048
I think it was Einstein's brother Melvin.
69
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,950
Very creative family.
70
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:06,785
You got to relax here.
71
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:10,956
Kris did a lot of research before
she pitched this buffet idea to us.
72
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,058
Our customers are gonna love this.
73
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,826
Yeah? Yeah, maybe too much.
74
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:18,630
If you haven't noticed, they tend to be
on the large side. Well, you know...
75
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,333
They take "all you can eat" as a challenge.
76
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:25,070
Go in your office, do something
to take your mind off it.
77
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:27,606
When was the last time you checked
your ex-wife's Facebook page?
78
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,376
Yesterday.
79
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,512
Yeah, don't worry about this.
80
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,981
Kris has got this all taken care of.
81
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:38,750
Mikey, please, I'm counting on
you to keep an eye on things.
82
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:42,154
If this is a disaster,
we're done with brunch.
83
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:43,855
I don't need to keep an eye on anything.
84
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,257
Ha! Yeah.
85
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,758
Show me the restaurant.
86
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On it.
87
00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:50,195
Uh, the buffet's all iced and ready to go.
88
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,496
Uh-huh.
89
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:53,265
There's us looking at the monitors.
90
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:56,068
That's useless.
91
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:59,371
I can't... What's Kyle
doing on the loading dock?
92
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,772
Enhance that for me.
93
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:04,076
"Enhance"?
94
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,411
This isn't "CSI," Baxter.
95
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,413
I can make it bigger.
96
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:12,251
Looks like he's opening a bag of cat food.
97
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:13,552
Oh, good.
98
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,622
He's feeding stray cats 100
feet from a seafood buffet.
99
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,057
What goes on in that
kid's head? I don't know.
100
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,859
If you got close enough,
you'd probably hear
101
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,095
a wind-up monkey playing the cymbals.
102
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:38,076
Hey, Kyle! Kyle! What
the hell are you doing?
103
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:41,079
You said you didn't want stray
cats eating out of the Dumpster.
104
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,481
Problem solved.
105
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:46,985
Now you're luring feral
cats to a seafood buffet.
106
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,454
Oh, no. They're not feral anymore.
107
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,223
I named them.
108
00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:53,425
Well, of course you did.
109
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,626
Tell you what...
110
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Get rid of the food and the bowl,
111
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:57,996
- close the loading dock door.
- Yes, sir.
112
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,331
And you know what?
113
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,767
Think of taking a day off now and then.
114
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,268
You're killing me.
115
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,238
Isabella: Kyle, get
your lazy ass over here!
116
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,674
Hang on, Isabella.
117
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,075
(Cat meows)
118
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Hi, Mom!
119
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,349
Hey!
120
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,483
(Laughing) Hi!
121
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:19,751
Wow!
122
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,421
Wow, Kristin, this is incredible.
123
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,256
I know. Isn't it?
124
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:27,159
We have smoked Pacific coho sal...
125
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,528
Ah, ah! Don't
touch it...
126
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,331
Alaskan king crab. Don't touch.
127
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,434
And, my personal favorite,
local rainbow tr...
128
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,469
Don't!
129
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,271
But I'm hungry.
130
00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,673
Have some ice.
131
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,208
(Laughs)
132
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:45,444
Honey, I know how hard
you've been working on this.
133
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,512
I mean, you did an amazing job.
134
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,948
Yeah, she's been practically living here.
135
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,284
Uh, by the way, I'm Ryan, your husband.
136
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:55,454
And that little guy you were
just talking to is your son.
137
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:56,688
Ha, ha.
138
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,523
Can we talk about this at home?
139
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:02,361
Sure, but first, let's have the most
important brunch in the entire world.
140
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,796
Hey, come on. You guys
don't bicker like this.
141
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,032
Something is fishy.
142
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:13,638
Ryan is upset because he thinks I've
been spending too much time at work.
143
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,073
You slept here last night.
144
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,908
I didn't get the room finished until 2:00,
145
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,077
and the food truck's coming at 6:00, okay?
146
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,746
It's not like I was at the spa.
147
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:25,317
This morning I showered with the
sprayer we use to wash the vegetables.
148
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:27,085
This brunch has been taking over your life.
149
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:30,222
I mean, we moved into a new house, and
you haven't even met the neighbors.
150
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,923
They think I'm a widower.
151
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,393
We are up to our eyeballs in casseroles.
152
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:41,099
Hey, guys, let's not ruin this
special day by being... crabby.
153
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,435
All right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
154
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,171
Just, I see food and... [seafood]
155
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:47,406
(Laughs)
156
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,508
Ha! I made a joke!
157
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,509
Oh!
158
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,411
I've gone too far now.
159
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:54,880
Hey, your family's here.
160
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:55,947
Great.
161
00:06:55,949 --> 00:07:00,419
And that shy busboy finally had the
guts to ask out that cute waitress.
162
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:02,921
What?
163
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:06,291
You watch 'em all day,
you can't help but care.
164
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,893
Just keep an eye on Kyle, will ya?
165
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:10,128
Make sure he doesn't do
something else really stupid.
166
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,963
Uh, Baxter...
167
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,099
That didn't take long.
168
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,801
He left the door open.
169
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,035
Oh, great.
170
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,438
Now I have a warehouse full
of cats, and I hate cats.
171
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,373
Dogs are right.
172
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,141
Well, don't worry about the cats.
173
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:27,913
They probably ran away
when they saw this guy.
174
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:28,780
Is that a bear?
175
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:29,915
Yeah.
176
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,818
You want me to enhance it?
177
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:42,561
Mike: I got to get my
family out of the grill.
178
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,995
And I'll call Parks and Wildlife,
179
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,131
and let them know we have
a bear in the warehouse.
180
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,299
A bear?
181
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,768
Oh, shoot! I forgot to close that door!
182
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:53,738
Well, the good news is I'm not mad
at you about the cats anymore.
183
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,475
I want you to go down to the kitchen,
get all the staff up here quietly.
184
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,642
You don't want to panic them.
185
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,277
I don't want anybody panicked!
186
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,645
Let's go, let's go, let's
go, let's go, let's go!
187
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,014
I heard yelling.
188
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,518
Is there trouble with the brunch?
189
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,920
No! No! No!
190
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,323
Uh, Chuck was asking for a raise.
191
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,659
Shut that down, Mikey.
192
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,728
That's right. Hey.
193
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,865
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
194
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,602
How are things going at the
new house? Uh, pretty good.
195
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,637
Boyd has been helping
me with the decorating.
196
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,506
You know what
10-year-old boys suck at?
197
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,708
- Decorating.
- Decorating.
198
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:33,178
Yeah, he did the living room
in early American "Star Wars."
199
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,880
Well, I'm sorry, Kristin.
200
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,882
When you move back in, we will change it.
201
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,119
Can you believe him?
202
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:42,521
Kind of.
203
00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:44,456
I mean, I understand
where he's coming from.
204
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,790
That's right.
205
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:48,560
I should only complain about Ryan to Dad.
206
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,830
You know, honey, whenever your father
gets involved in a new project,
207
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:55,967
he also goes a little overboard
in his attention to detail.
208
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,469
Isn't that a good thing?
209
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:01,373
Yes, unless you're one of the details
he's not paying attention to.
210
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:04,776
I'm just saying maybe cut Ryan some slack.
211
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,847
Hey, Boyd, listen, I hid a
dollar bill up in the office.
212
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:09,514
Why don't you go see if you can find it.
213
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:10,348
Cool!
214
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,750
You too, honey.
215
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:14,586
Why?
216
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,354
What? You don't need a dollar?
217
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,390
What are you talking about?
218
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,658
What's with all the questions?
219
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,776
Let's just go upstairs.
220
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:21,893
Everybody, let's just go upstairs.
221
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,529
Dad, I still have a ton
of work to do down here.
222
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,530
Do it later.
223
00:09:25,532 --> 00:09:27,065
I need to be here now.
224
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,067
You are never gonna get her to leave, Mike.
225
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:29,935
Don't even try it.
226
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,670
Listen, excuse me.
227
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,174
Everybody upstairs. Now! Now!
228
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:37,509
Come on, let's go.
229
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,344
Let's go upstairs for a minute. Come on.
230
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,612
Is there something wrong?
231
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,247
Not if you enjoyed "The Revenant."
232
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,454
So, you just play in here, Boyd.
233
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,724
And, uh... And if you hear
scratching at the door...
234
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,292
I-it's just Grandma.
235
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,694
So, uh...
236
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:59,064
But don't... don't open the
door for Grandma, no matter what!
237
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,299
A-And if Grandma does get in the door,
238
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,768
then, uh... then
just remember to, uh,
239
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,339
to stand real tall and cover your neck.
240
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,710
What the hell is a bear doing in the store?
241
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:12,744
He's ruining my brunch.
242
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,379
I used to think that bears were cute,
243
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,049
but, you know what, as of
today, bears can kiss my ass.
244
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:20,452
Brunch is gonna be fine.
We got this under control.
245
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:24,589
Parks and Wildlife says they can't
get here for another 20 minutes.
246
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,891
There's a bear at a gas station too.
247
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:29,561
Are there any bears in the woods?
248
00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:32,130
All right, everybody.
We're all good up here.
249
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,332
Everybody's fine right where we are.
250
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,834
Not Kyle.
251
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:39,270
He's in the warehouse,
and he's got a rifle.
252
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:42,173
Wait, wait. He cannot kill the bear.
253
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,142
Well, not with that gun.
It's a tranquilizing-dart gun.
254
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,844
Also, he'll... he'll just
put the bear to sleep.
255
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,412
- That's perfect, right?
- (Chuckles) Yeah.
256
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:51,416
If we were legally allowed to sell the
tranquilizer that goes in the darts.
257
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:56,755
So, he's about to corner a wild bear
and shoot it with an empty dart?
258
00:10:56,757 --> 00:11:01,026
This is quickly becoming one of those
stories that bears tell other bears.
259
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,604
Kyle? Kyle?
260
00:11:12,606 --> 00:11:14,105
Kyle!
261
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,542
Hey, hey! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
262
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:23,181
Listen, I-I know I ask you this a
lot, but what the hell are you doing?
263
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,550
I'm the reason he's in here, Mr. B.
264
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,053
Don't worry, we're giving
you credit for that.
265
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,789
You know, there's not
tranquilizer in those darts.
266
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:34,125
Really? So what the hell am I doing?
267
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,460
I don't know.
268
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,629
We're gonna go back upstairs, all right?
269
00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:40,298
(Growls)
270
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,300
Not that way, though.
271
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,070
Am I not moving?
272
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,971
Kyle, we're gonna be
fine, we're gonna be fine.
273
00:11:48,548 --> 00:11:50,308
Don't make a lot of
noise and just back away.
274
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,843
Back away, back away.
275
00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,344
Okay, Mr. B.
276
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,548
Hey, I wonder if it's true
that bears can smell fear.
277
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:57,916
(Roars)
278
00:11:57,918 --> 00:12:00,151
That would be your answer!
279
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,665
You know, last time I did this,
280
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:16,201
there were Jehovah's Witnesses
coming down the block.
281
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,069
You're really funny, Mr. B.
282
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,972
It's gonna be an honor
to die with you today.
283
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:28,113
If we do go to heaven, let me handle
closing the pearly gates, okay?
284
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,449
Hey, Chuck, I need the ETA
on Parks and Wildlife, over.
285
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,618
High tight, Baxter. They're on their way.
286
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,286
Chuck, shouldn't you do something?
287
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,455
I mean, you are head of
security for the store.
288
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:41,760
Yes. And I'll go down there as soon
as the bear starts shoplifting.
289
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:44,629
Look, you know, Mike and Kyle will be fine.
290
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,932
When the bear smells the food, he'll
head straight for the buffet.
291
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,536
Well, I guess that's the
end of brunch at Outdoor Man.
292
00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:53,872
Oh. I'll talk to her.
293
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:57,776
No, you know what? I will go talk to her.
294
00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:01,146
Well, this sucks.
295
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,615
I know how much work
you put into this thing.
296
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,717
I was scared.
297
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,285
What?
298
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,053
That's why I was working so much.
299
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:11,422
This was the first big
thing I've done on my own.
300
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:13,725
No, it's not. What about the grill?
301
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:15,894
Dad and Ed helped me with that.
302
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,462
This was all me.
303
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,064
And I just wanted to
prove that I could do it...
304
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:23,334
not even to them, to myself.
305
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,503
I didn't know.
306
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:29,073
But after spending four days looking
for the perfect shrimp fork,
307
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:31,910
turns out I forgot the
first rule of brunches...
308
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,511
no bears!
309
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:38,983
I'm sorry I put you and Boyd through that.
310
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,718
All for nothing.
311
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:52,297
I feel so bad for her. I
wish I could do something.
312
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:55,867
I think I can.
313
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,774
Hello?
314
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,246
Anybody here?
315
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:13,284
Olly olly oxen free!
316
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,855
Whatever that means!
317
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:20,058
Nobody here for Kristin's big day.
318
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,160
Classic!
319
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,262
(Laughs)
320
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,242
This is so dumb. I am so dumb.
321
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:45,817
Okay, here we...
322
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,485
- Hey!
- Aah!
323
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,888
What are you doing? You have to run.
324
00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,990
(Laughs) I'm in brunch heels.
325
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,658
I'm not running anywhere.
326
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:54,993
What are you doing?
327
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,762
Okay, there is a bear in the
store, and everyone's upstairs.
328
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,097
You need to get up there right now, okay?
329
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,832
What?
330
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,534
If there's a bear in the store,
why are you holding a salmon?
331
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,404
'Cause I am trying not to have
Kristin's brunch get ruined,
332
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,840
so I'm gonna lure it out
of the store with this.
333
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:11,542
Oh, no! A bear! Bears are so dangerous!
334
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,878
Don't let him eat my little face!
335
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,847
(High-pitched squealing)
336
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,282
Oh, please, I'm trying not
to think about that, okay?
337
00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,616
Just run, okay?
338
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,954
Should of just gone to church. God.
339
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,224
Are you okay, Mike?
340
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,892
(Bear roars)
341
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:30,094
Yeah, we're great.
342
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,263
W-Will these boxes
protect us from the bear?
343
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,232
No, probably not, but it'll be something
344
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,100
to send our organs to the hospital in.
345
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,568
Ryan: Bear?
346
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,571
Where are you, peaceful woodland creature?
347
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,073
Want some brunch?
348
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,976
Hey, what's Ryan doing down here?
349
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:55,019
Oh, God! You are huge!
350
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:59,557
Ryan just ran past the
bear holding a salmon.
351
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:03,761
How did that kid's ancestors ever survive?
352
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,896
Come and get it, bear!
353
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,764
Delicious, wild-caught salmon
354
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:10,068
from our already overfished oceans!
355
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,403
He's trying to draw the bear away.
356
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:13,938
Did it work?
357
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,940
(Growls)
358
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:19,477
Please tell me that's a cat.
359
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,846
The bear ignored the salmon.
360
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:23,581
Why would that bear ignore a salmon?
361
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,916
What does he want in here?
362
00:16:24,918 --> 00:16:26,017
He's after me.
363
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,285
Yeah?
364
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,520
It's my conditioner. It's honey lavender.
365
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,622
It doesn't make any sense,
366
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,026
unless he... is a she.
367
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,295
Whoa.
368
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:40,465
He had
...Oh.
369
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:43,201
(Whimpering)
370
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,836
(Chuckles)
371
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,338
Oh, he's adorable!
372
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,841
Yeah, well, we're not keeping him.
373
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,477
Listen, we found a bear cub in here.
374
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,312
Been nice knowing you, Baxter.
375
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,681
Oh, thank God.
376
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,816
Parks and Wildlife are here, Mike.
377
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,985
No, no, no, no. You tell Parks
and Wildlife to calm down.
378
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:03,454
If they see that bear getting
aggressive, they may put it down.
379
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,856
They do not want that bear hurt.
380
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,691
Give me five minutes to
get this cub out of here.
381
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,992
You copy that?
382
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,194
Wait, there's really a bear in the store?
383
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,865
Will this be on national news,
because I'm only dressed for local.
384
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,133
I need to move these boxes.
385
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,534
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
386
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,203
Mr. B, are you sure that's a good idea?
387
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:19,871
'Cause I've come to really
appreciate that door.
388
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,305
The bear doesn't want to hurt us.
389
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,907
The bear just wants to protect her cub.
390
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:24,375
Help me move these out of the way.
391
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:25,710
All right, get behind the door.
392
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:26,711
Let's go. Come on.
393
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,645
Come here, come here.
394
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,213
It's all right, it's all right.
395
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,648
It's okay. It's all right.
396
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,984
It's all right, it's all right.
397
00:17:32,986 --> 00:17:34,218
(Bear growling)
398
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:50,968
Come on, come on.
399
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,216
And that, Kyle, is...
400
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,785
why we don't feed cats.
401
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,292
Mama and baby bear are
headed back to the woods.
402
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:18,262
Yeah, with a salmon and an adventure
they will remember forever.
403
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,031
You know, bears like bread, too.
404
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:22,567
You always got to figure
out a way to cost me money,
405
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,969
but, uh, appreciate
what you did. Thank you.
406
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,904
We'll follow them to
make sure they get there
407
00:18:26,906 --> 00:18:28,873
without incident, but
you folks are all clear.
408
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,942
- Thank you.
- Thanks for coming by.
409
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,211
I cannot believe you did that!
410
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,278
That was so...
411
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,713
Brave?
412
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:39,117
Uh, I was gonna say stupid,
but I guess it can be both.
413
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,153
I didn't want all your
hard work to go to waste.
414
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:44,388
But, yeah. That was really dumb.
415
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,623
Yeah.
416
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,992
Isn't he the sweetest?
417
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,795
I did something stupid, too.
418
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,930
You're damn straight, Baxter.
419
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:56,667
You dying on my watch is not
gonna help my Yelp reviews.
420
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,304
Why'd you take the risk
of opening that door?
421
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,975
I think maybe he knows what it feels
like to want to protect your cub.
422
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,343
Right, papa bear?
423
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:09,814
You know, in the book, the mama
bear doesn't talk so much.
424
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:15,419
I love it when you get embarrassed
because you have feelings.
425
00:19:15,421 --> 00:19:19,857
Kyle, did you do anything stupidly brave?
426
00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:23,161
No. I was smart.
427
00:19:23,163 --> 00:19:27,331
You tried to shoot an angry
mama bear with a dart gun.
428
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,934
Hey, yeah! That was super dumb!
429
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,003
Yay! Kyle wins!
430
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,471
Hey, it's almost 10:00.
431
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,274
Aren't we all excited
about doing something?
432
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:38,809
My brunch! Get out of my way!
433
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,678
Come on, come on. You
want to get a good table.
434
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,881
What's the point? No more salmon.
435
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,117
So, you...
436
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,489
What's everybody doing up here?
437
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,358
Am I the only one who cares
about this damn brunch?
438
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,093
Come on, let's go.
439
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,133
It's kind of cute that everybody thinks
440
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:04,368
I don't know anything about the bear, huh?
441
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,979
Hey, Mike Baxter for Outdoor Man.
442
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:18,649
Over the years, I've found myself
facing some pretty scary situations...
443
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:20,351
Anacondas in the Amazon...
444
00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,153
ckk, ckk, ckk, ckk, ckk!...
445
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:24,255
hungry lions on the Serengeti...
446
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:26,023
"Down,
boy ..."
447
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:30,361
a woman's book club that ran
out of vodka in my own home.
448
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:34,198
(Slurring) Eat, pray, refill!
449
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,434
(Normal voice) But as any
outdoorsman will tell you,
450
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:41,105
there's no place as dangerous as being
between a mama bear and her cub.
451
00:20:41,107 --> 00:20:45,543
It's like being between Hillary
and a Wall Street moneyman.
452
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:49,213
Of course, a mama bear only worries
about her offspring for 17 months,
453
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,782
then she kicks them in the
ass and chases them away.
454
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,618
Humans... we
don't stop worrying
455
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,053
about our kids until
two weeks after we die.
456
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:59,357
You'd think it would get easier
once they leave the nest,
457
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,692
but it actually gets
worse once they roam free.
458
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,294
All we do is fret.
459
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:07,365
We can even tag their ears so
we can track their migrations.
460
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,466
Or can we?
461
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,468
Trademark Outdoor Man.
462
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:12,803
(Clicks tongue) "Dad!"
463
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:17,375
Yeah, being a human parent means
signing an eternal contract to worry.
464
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,778
And when you finally see the bright light
coming towards you at the very end,
465
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,647
you know what your last thought's gonna be?
466
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,216
(Imitates flatline)
467
00:21:25,218 --> 00:21:28,286
I got to check the tire
pressure on Mandy's car!
468
00:21:28,988 --> 00:21:32,056
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addicted.com
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