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1
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,541
Prepare to taste defeat.
2
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:24,316
I shall not be bested by
some dishonorable swine.
3
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,081
Come back here.
4
00:00:34,824 --> 00:00:37,870
Oh, no. The great Captain Ma'ah,
5
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,127
taken down by a puny targ.
6
00:00:40,164 --> 00:00:42,979
Perhaps you are more comfortable
daintily sitting on a bridge
7
00:00:43,015 --> 00:00:44,462
than getting your hands dirty.
8
00:00:44,498 --> 00:00:47,851
Silence. I will teach this targ
who to respect.
9
00:00:48,429 --> 00:00:50,830
Did you fall this
much on your ships, brother?
10
00:00:50,866 --> 00:00:54,030
You seem to be at home
on the ground.
11
00:00:54,093 --> 00:00:56,230
One day I will return to battle.
12
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,196
Which is more than I can say for you.
13
00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,893
What are you doing to our ship?
14
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:01,365
I'm making it look fierce
15
00:01:01,402 --> 00:01:03,729
with the jaws of the
brush devil that I felled.
16
00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:04,765
Felled?
17
00:01:04,802 --> 00:01:06,263
You ran over it by accident.
18
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,635
Well, that counts. It
was extremely honorable.
19
00:01:08,671 --> 00:01:10,112
You're a fool.
20
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,074
Oh...
21
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:15,891
- Who's that?
- No one. A Ferengi scammer.
22
00:01:15,927 --> 00:01:17,916
Ma'ah, Malor,
we have bloodwine to deliver.
23
00:01:17,952 --> 00:01:18,989
Hurry up.
24
00:01:19,026 --> 00:01:20,414
- Coming.
- Yes, Mother.
25
00:01:22,802 --> 00:01:24,668
Well, are you going to help me?
26
00:01:24,705 --> 00:01:27,273
Ha, you are beyond help, brother.
27
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:21,271
Ah.
28
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:23,478
Hey, Ma'ah, wait, wait,
wait, don't hang up.
29
00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:24,895
Oh, who are you?
30
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:27,408
Uh, why is a human calling you?
31
00:02:27,445 --> 00:02:28,774
I don't care!
32
00:02:32,873 --> 00:02:35,030
Ah, the Warrior Pit.
33
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,101
I spent many nights here as a young...
34
00:02:37,137 --> 00:02:39,284
- PetaQ?
- I am not a petaQ.
35
00:02:39,741 --> 00:02:43,397
Oh, your stupid bones
caught the decorative horns.
36
00:02:46,283 --> 00:02:49,836
Oh, look, special
delivery from the petaQ.
37
00:02:50,968 --> 00:02:52,573
Let's get this over with.
38
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,769
You're late. I've had
nothing to serve but bahgol.
39
00:03:05,897 --> 00:03:08,271
These drunks are too sober to brawl.
40
00:03:10,130 --> 00:03:12,655
The day's harvest was arduous.
41
00:03:12,774 --> 00:03:13,824
Ma'ah?
42
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,112
When did you return?
43
00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:17,097
I heard you were given command.
44
00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:18,178
K'Elarra.
45
00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:21,082
I-I did not expect to see
you in this pugh gegh.
46
00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,686
Hey.
47
00:03:22,822 --> 00:03:25,694
The thrash lute player asked
me to watch his performance.
48
00:03:25,730 --> 00:03:28,550
So, you are in par'Mach with him?
49
00:03:28,595 --> 00:03:30,710
Ha. Don't make me laugh.
50
00:03:30,871 --> 00:03:33,784
I'm much more attracted to captains.
51
00:03:34,074 --> 00:03:36,299
Ha. If only there was a captain here.
52
00:03:36,336 --> 00:03:38,192
- Silence, Malor.
- What does he mean?
53
00:03:38,228 --> 00:03:40,752
I was stripped of my captaincy
54
00:03:40,789 --> 00:03:42,512
for allowing my crew to mutiny.
55
00:03:42,618 --> 00:03:45,108
The whole family was
shamed. It was hilarious.
56
00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:47,311
Well, I'm sure you
captained with honor.
57
00:03:47,979 --> 00:03:50,647
I remember you always
screaming about honor.
58
00:03:50,709 --> 00:03:52,145
It was hot.
59
00:03:52,182 --> 00:03:53,279
Ma'ah also
screamed this morning
60
00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,708
when he was headbutted
by a small targ.
61
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,897
If you were to regain your command,
62
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,779
you would be captain of a new ship?
63
00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:01,654
Don't count on that. Ma'ah killed
64
00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:03,323
Bargh's brother.
65
00:04:03,359 --> 00:04:05,455
Dorg was a traitor to the Empire.
66
00:04:05,491 --> 00:04:06,621
I have no regrets.
67
00:04:06,658 --> 00:04:08,196
I'll bet his
brother does.
68
00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:09,544
Enough.
69
00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:13,962
A Klingon is not defined by rank.
70
00:04:15,972 --> 00:04:19,865
Oh, if it
isn't my old cha'Dich.
71
00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:21,654
Why you been ducking my calls, pal?
72
00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:25,098
You fraternize with Starfleet humans?
73
00:04:25,135 --> 00:04:26,441
Bah!
74
00:04:26,478 --> 00:04:27,694
Wow, was that your girlfriend?
75
00:04:27,730 --> 00:04:29,600
Ooh, what crawled up
her boob window and died?
76
00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,639
Anyway, what are we drinking?
77
00:04:32,719 --> 00:04:34,608
Ha. Classic Ma'ah.
78
00:04:37,952 --> 00:04:40,468
Dr. Migleemo, I've never
seen you this nervous before.
79
00:04:40,504 --> 00:04:42,615
Not even when I made
you fight that giant Orion.
80
00:04:42,651 --> 00:04:44,118
Today is much higher stakes.
81
00:04:44,154 --> 00:04:46,919
I'm meeting two of my
species' greatest scholars.
82
00:04:46,956 --> 00:04:48,873
Scholars? I thought
they were food critics.
83
00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:51,614
Precisely. We Klowahkans
invented warp travel
84
00:04:51,651 --> 00:04:54,169
in the hopes of discovering
strange new meals.
85
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:57,992
Sir Legnog and Madame Gonald's
reviews are akin to scripture.
86
00:04:58,029 --> 00:05:00,300
Their work goes beyond umami.
87
00:05:01,513 --> 00:05:03,762
- How's my plumage?
- Downy.
88
00:05:05,371 --> 00:05:07,207
I can't believe we're
in the Warrior Pit.
89
00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:09,553
This is the bar where
Martok killed 12 'urwl'pu'.
90
00:05:09,589 --> 00:05:12,063
No, that Warrior Pit is
in the Ketha Lowlands.
91
00:05:12,099 --> 00:05:13,146
It is a chain.
92
00:05:13,183 --> 00:05:15,191
Still exciting. Ooh,
look at that diktagh.
93
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,421
Ugh, sorry for Boimler.
94
00:05:16,457 --> 00:05:18,319
He's going through a
big Klingon phase lately.
95
00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:19,921
What are you doing here?
96
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:22,600
Oh, so Starfleet dug up an
ancient Klingon warrior skull
97
00:05:22,636 --> 00:05:23,824
on some weird-ass planet.
98
00:05:23,860 --> 00:05:25,944
Needed somebody to return
it to your museum of, like,
99
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:27,035
bones or whatever.
100
00:05:27,072 --> 00:05:28,530
I dropped it off, then looked you up.
101
00:05:28,566 --> 00:05:31,067
Your presence is a burden. Leave, now.
102
00:05:31,104 --> 00:05:32,130
No can do.
103
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,876
See, I just heard you
lost your captaincy,
104
00:05:33,912 --> 00:05:35,857
and I'm gonna help you get it back.
105
00:05:36,164 --> 00:05:37,217
Mmm, you make this?
106
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:39,250
Yeah, our family has spent generations
107
00:05:39,286 --> 00:05:40,693
perfecting the bloodiness.
108
00:05:40,729 --> 00:05:43,232
Ooh. Who's this tall
drink of, uh, water?
109
00:05:43,269 --> 00:05:44,387
Water? You guys have water, right?
110
00:05:44,423 --> 00:05:45,512
Yes, we have water!
111
00:05:45,549 --> 00:05:46,768
Malor is my brother,
112
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,972
and I am not interested
in your charity.
113
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,654
Hey, look, you really helped
me back on Sherbal V, all right?
114
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,004
I just want to return the favor.
115
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,312
You owe me nothing.
116
00:05:54,349 --> 00:05:55,951
- Be gone.
- I do owe you.
117
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:58,317
Because of the, uh, Edict
of Unreturned Favors.
118
00:05:58,353 --> 00:06:00,076
It's a human thing, from Earth.
119
00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:01,861
Do you speak the truth?
120
00:06:01,898 --> 00:06:04,365
Yes. I do. You know, if
we don't return favors,
121
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:05,740
we get fed to a bear.
122
00:06:05,777 --> 00:06:07,242
Hey, Boimler, tell Ma'ah
123
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,245
about the Edict of Unreturned Favors.
124
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,411
What? Oh, yeah, right,
we get fed to a bear.
125
00:06:11,447 --> 00:06:13,185
Man, it is so awesome in here.
126
00:06:13,222 --> 00:06:14,583
A Klingon threw me.
127
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,456
How are you so comfortable
with violence all of a sudden?
128
00:06:16,492 --> 00:06:18,087
Weren't you just afraid of skiing?
129
00:06:18,123 --> 00:06:19,754
And I came out stronger.
130
00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:20,974
It's all in the beard, baby.
131
00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:22,748
We, uh, we're calling
that a beard, huh?
132
00:06:22,784 --> 00:06:24,303
Your aid would be pointless.
133
00:06:24,339 --> 00:06:26,993
The Oversight Council has
refused to hear my appeal.
134
00:06:27,029 --> 00:06:28,848
It is better you train
to fight the bear.
135
00:06:28,884 --> 00:06:30,590
What if you request
the Ritual of J'ethurgh?
136
00:06:30,626 --> 00:06:33,560
Do not talk to me of
Klingon rituals, boy.
137
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,700
I live by the ancient ways.
138
00:06:35,901 --> 00:06:38,566
Yeah, that means he doesn't
know what you're talking about.
139
00:06:38,602 --> 00:06:40,560
It's a ritual that allows
a discharged captain
140
00:06:40,596 --> 00:06:41,787
to reclaim their command.
141
00:06:41,823 --> 00:06:43,873
It was last triggered
over 300 years ago
142
00:06:43,909 --> 00:06:46,115
by Captain Jokor when
he was involuntarily added
143
00:06:46,151 --> 00:06:48,248
to another crew via the
Rite of Forced Conscription.
144
00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:50,313
You
guys have a lot of rituals.
145
00:06:50,349 --> 00:06:52,495
This human is full of words.
146
00:06:52,532 --> 00:06:54,804
What can I say? I love
Klingon bureaucratic minutiae.
147
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,460
Come on, Ma'ah, you can force
the council to hear your case.
148
00:06:57,496 --> 00:06:59,498
Look, do it and I will leave
you alone forever.
149
00:06:59,534 --> 00:07:00,637
Deal?
150
00:07:01,524 --> 00:07:04,571
Fine. But, do not make
a spectacle about it.
151
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:07,544
Woo-hoo! This is gonna
be so freaking aweso...
152
00:07:07,596 --> 00:07:09,186
We should get out of here.
153
00:07:09,222 --> 00:07:11,389
Do you think that
means they respect me?
154
00:07:15,419 --> 00:07:17,116
Welcome aboard the Cerritos.
155
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:19,721
We are happy to escort
you back to Klowahka.
156
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:22,888
Sweet and sour hell,
look at this place, Legnog.
157
00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:24,527
Ugh, classic Starfleet.
158
00:07:24,564 --> 00:07:26,623
Let me guess, you
never vacuum the carpet?
159
00:07:26,659 --> 00:07:27,709
Excuse me?
160
00:07:27,746 --> 00:07:29,444
I guess we can put up
161
00:07:29,481 --> 00:07:30,925
with this eyesore of a ship.
162
00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:33,268
Praxon IV did a number on our engines.
163
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,232
Probably due to its proximity
164
00:07:35,269 --> 00:07:37,505
to the blandest food
we've ever tasted.
165
00:07:38,754 --> 00:07:41,086
Dr. Migleemo, I think
you should take over
166
00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:43,169
before I say something undiplomatic.
167
00:07:43,327 --> 00:07:46,716
It is a delicious honor, your graces.
168
00:07:46,753 --> 00:07:48,536
A Klowahkan in Starfleet?
169
00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:51,187
Shouldn't you be discovering
new soups and stews?
170
00:07:51,223 --> 00:07:53,139
I've encountered a few chowders.
171
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,756
Lead us to our rooms.
And cover my eyes.
172
00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:57,727
I don't want to see the halls, oh.
173
00:07:57,815 --> 00:07:59,479
Aren't they wonderful?
174
00:08:05,811 --> 00:08:07,638
Experience bij!
175
00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:09,554
You experience bij!
176
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:15,614
Behold, the Klingon Oversight Council.
177
00:08:17,393 --> 00:08:20,015
Oh. K'Orin, you old drunk,
178
00:08:20,052 --> 00:08:21,252
what are you doing here?
179
00:08:21,288 --> 00:08:23,003
Do not speak to the general like that.
180
00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:24,629
He is a war hero.
181
00:08:24,936 --> 00:08:28,548
Ha. Guess I wasn't done
sleeping off last night's feast.
182
00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:31,428
Mariner. Brimbo.
183
00:08:31,465 --> 00:08:33,221
It is good to see you both.
184
00:08:33,258 --> 00:08:34,889
It's Boimler, actually,
185
00:08:34,926 --> 00:08:36,722
but I'm honored to be
even remotely remembered.
186
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:38,393
You... You know each other?
187
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:41,057
Yeah, we violated some
treaties back in the day.
188
00:08:41,094 --> 00:08:43,107
Hey, since when are you
on the Oversight Council?
189
00:08:43,143 --> 00:08:46,929
Oh, since I threw my back out
disemboweling a Romulan spy.
190
00:08:46,966 --> 00:08:49,112
K'Orin, return to your seat.
191
00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:51,281
You have embarrassed yourself enough
192
00:08:51,318 --> 00:08:52,950
without fraternizing with humans.
193
00:08:52,986 --> 00:08:56,163
Yes, Bargh, oh glorious leader.
194
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:58,872
Ma'ah.
My brother's murderer.
195
00:08:58,987 --> 00:09:01,120
Your request for an appeal is...
196
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:02,709
yet again denied.
197
00:09:02,786 --> 00:09:04,918
As long as I am in
charge of this council,
198
00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:07,175
you will never step foot on a ship.
199
00:09:07,212 --> 00:09:10,346
Um, excuse me, your,
uh, Council... ness?
200
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,965
Uh, Ma'ah has initiated
the Ritual of J'ethurgh.
201
00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:16,080
What is this smooth-headed
worm mewling about?
202
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,698
He mewls correctly.
203
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,311
The ancient texts state
that a discharged captain
204
00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:22,396
can be restored via
tests of endurance,
205
00:09:22,432 --> 00:09:24,939
- strength, and sacrifice.
- Give me that!
206
00:09:25,294 --> 00:09:26,524
Ah.
207
00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:28,433
But Ma'ah must also have a quv beq
208
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,111
of at least four companions.
209
00:09:30,190 --> 00:09:32,113
- He's one short.
- He's right.
210
00:09:32,174 --> 00:09:33,410
This is a lost cause.
211
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,479
Ooh!
Hold up,
212
00:09:34,516 --> 00:09:37,016
let me just go get
something out of the truck.
213
00:09:37,219 --> 00:09:38,307
What?!
214
00:09:38,526 --> 00:09:40,288
Here we go, our fourth.
215
00:09:40,325 --> 00:09:41,915
Malor can barely pass wind,
216
00:09:41,952 --> 00:09:42,971
much less a trial.
217
00:09:43,008 --> 00:09:44,620
I pass wind!
218
00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:46,711
Look at these lujwl'pu'.
219
00:09:46,748 --> 00:09:48,564
It appears I have no choice
220
00:09:48,601 --> 00:09:50,951
but to allow the ritual to proceed.
221
00:09:51,094 --> 00:09:52,175
First test:
222
00:09:52,285 --> 00:09:54,619
the Rite of Unending Pain!
223
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:57,096
Oh, unending pain?
224
00:09:57,629 --> 00:09:59,891
Ah, this is gonna be Klingon as hell!
225
00:10:04,197 --> 00:10:05,763
Oh, the light in here.
226
00:10:06,010 --> 00:10:08,233
Captain, have you
ever heard of a candle?
227
00:10:08,330 --> 00:10:10,654
Starfleet lighting has
been scientifically attuned
228
00:10:10,690 --> 00:10:11,946
to suit all living beings.
229
00:10:11,982 --> 00:10:13,905
Oh, well, then I must have died
230
00:10:13,942 --> 00:10:15,554
and gone to fluorescent hell.
231
00:10:15,596 --> 00:10:17,242
Esteemed scholars,
232
00:10:17,278 --> 00:10:20,917
I present to you the most
delectable meals on the Cerritos.
233
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,831
Au jus Mordanian beef loin
234
00:10:22,868 --> 00:10:25,583
and, mac and cheese with breaded top.
235
00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:40,838
Great feathered god!
236
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:43,373
I've never tasted
anything so tasteless!
237
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,978
Unbearably bland.
238
00:10:45,015 --> 00:10:46,722
I might as well be eating wallpaper.
239
00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:48,871
But, I programmed
the replicator myself.
240
00:10:48,907 --> 00:10:50,104
Replicated?
241
00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:51,275
Blasphemy!
242
00:10:51,312 --> 00:10:53,424
How dare you call yourself a chef?!
243
00:10:53,461 --> 00:10:55,371
Well, I-I don't.
I'm a psychologist.
244
00:10:55,407 --> 00:10:57,824
More of a chef of the mind.
245
00:10:57,861 --> 00:11:00,393
Psychologist?
Guard, catch me
246
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:02,344
as I performatively faint.
247
00:11:02,624 --> 00:11:04,176
Gabers Migleemo,
248
00:11:04,213 --> 00:11:07,027
you are an insult to
Klowahkans everywhere.
249
00:11:07,064 --> 00:11:08,591
Sir Legnog,
250
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:09,870
while you are on my ship,
251
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:11,682
you will not strike my crew.
252
00:11:11,719 --> 00:11:14,215
No, Captain, I deserve this flapping.
253
00:11:14,252 --> 00:11:16,259
Indeed you do, heretic.
254
00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:18,970
Guards, storm me out of here.
255
00:11:19,384 --> 00:11:20,995
What was I thinking?
256
00:11:21,032 --> 00:11:23,676
Now they'll write me into
the Book of the Flavorless.
257
00:11:23,712 --> 00:11:25,667
Don't listen to them, Dr. Migleemo.
258
00:11:25,704 --> 00:11:27,020
They're dramatic jerks.
259
00:11:27,084 --> 00:11:30,270
Maybe, if you cook them a
dish, they'll respect you again.
260
00:11:30,307 --> 00:11:32,926
A yeasty
lump loaf of an idea.
261
00:11:32,963 --> 00:11:34,694
Quickly, to my quarters.
262
00:11:36,688 --> 00:11:37,822
Ooh!
263
00:11:40,451 --> 00:11:43,708
The Rite of Unending Pain
symbolizes Kahless's passage
264
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,247
through the field of thorns,
265
00:11:45,283 --> 00:11:47,916
enduring violence with every step.
266
00:11:47,953 --> 00:11:49,571
Once Kahless made it across the field,
267
00:11:49,607 --> 00:11:51,170
he tore the thorns from his legs
268
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:52,713
and he used them to kill Fek'lhr.
269
00:11:52,749 --> 00:11:54,454
- Oh, it was badass.
- Yes, yes.
270
00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:56,754
I know all about
Kahless's thorn murders.
271
00:11:57,030 --> 00:11:58,099
With each step,
272
00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,261
you will be struck by painstiks.
273
00:12:00,298 --> 00:12:01,679
As you pass each marker,
274
00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:03,437
their voltage doubles.
275
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:07,029
- Well, I'm out.
- No, hey!
276
00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:09,187
Come on, man, do it for your brother.
277
00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:11,104
I don't
care about my brother.
278
00:12:11,140 --> 00:12:13,691
Okay, then, how about
for a thousand darseks?
279
00:12:14,062 --> 00:12:16,444
I will stand with Ma'ah!
280
00:12:17,435 --> 00:12:19,219
Tagh-jaj qaD!
281
00:12:28,479 --> 00:12:31,250
Gah! I can't believe
I'm getting painstiked.
282
00:12:31,295 --> 00:12:33,516
Aah! So Klingon!
283
00:12:35,604 --> 00:12:37,715
They're approaching the red.
284
00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:40,816
Set the final
painstiks to full charge.
285
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,678
The pain is already too much,
286
00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:46,882
and there is yet
another marker to pass.
287
00:12:47,951 --> 00:12:50,395
Do not accept defeat
so easily, brother.
288
00:12:50,432 --> 00:12:51,849
Wait a minute...
289
00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,307
The maximum painstik voltage
290
00:12:53,343 --> 00:12:55,796
is, like, 30,000 volts.
291
00:12:56,155 --> 00:12:57,959
Can one person even
handle that much voltage?
292
00:12:57,995 --> 00:13:00,076
No. Quick, everyone get on Malor.
293
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,555
What? What?
294
00:13:01,635 --> 00:13:03,072
Get off of me, petaQ!
295
00:13:03,109 --> 00:13:04,633
If we create a connection
between the four of us,
296
00:13:04,669 --> 00:13:06,620
the voltage will spread
evenly through our bodies.
297
00:13:06,656 --> 00:13:08,179
No! This is ludicro...
298
00:13:09,716 --> 00:13:11,651
Get over here and
clutch me, you coward!
299
00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,053
Come on, Ma'ah!
300
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:15,294
We have to try.
301
00:13:16,804 --> 00:13:18,074
This is over.
302
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:19,424
No one gets through the red.
303
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:20,696
They would die.
304
00:13:23,274 --> 00:13:24,721
This is humiliating.
305
00:13:24,796 --> 00:13:26,058
Just go!
306
00:13:30,235 --> 00:13:32,603
It's working! The petaQ was right.
307
00:13:32,717 --> 00:13:34,814
Woo-hoo!
308
00:13:34,888 --> 00:13:36,237
You look a qoH.
309
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,843
Clinging to your
brother like an infant.
310
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,361
Just keep going.
311
00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:45,992
We made it.
312
00:13:47,181 --> 00:13:48,626
Boims,
313
00:13:48,663 --> 00:13:50,539
you're a genius.
314
00:13:50,575 --> 00:13:52,582
Thought you had them, eh, Bargh?
315
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:54,249
Congratulations, Ma'ah.
316
00:13:54,286 --> 00:13:55,356
You've passed the test
317
00:13:55,392 --> 00:13:58,065
with the help of the weakest
human I've ever seen.
318
00:13:58,101 --> 00:14:00,256
Truly officer material.
319
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:01,796
Ah, forget him, Ma'ah.
320
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,403
- We did it.
- Yes.
321
00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:05,315
I suppose we did.
322
00:14:10,185 --> 00:14:11,908
Excellent! Excellent!
323
00:14:12,665 --> 00:14:14,604
Incredible dicing, Ms. Tendi.
324
00:14:14,641 --> 00:14:15,980
Assassin training.
325
00:14:16,044 --> 00:14:19,121
My implant
says the sauce is ready, Dr. Chef.
326
00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:21,203
Pungent and astringent.
327
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,071
It's perfect.
328
00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:27,823
Uh, I'm not sure about this.
329
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:28,899
Nonsense.
330
00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,859
This hogfish galantine has turned out
331
00:14:30,895 --> 00:14:33,768
as plorpful as those on Enara Prime.
332
00:14:39,576 --> 00:14:42,917
May I present
one non-replicated dish.
333
00:14:42,954 --> 00:14:45,218
Enaran hogfish?
334
00:14:45,255 --> 00:14:47,770
One of the most complex
dishes in the quadrant.
335
00:14:47,806 --> 00:14:51,084
Well, I could not have done
it without my Starfleet friends.
336
00:14:52,548 --> 00:14:53,893
Hmm.
337
00:14:58,896 --> 00:15:00,376
Oh, my throat!
338
00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:01,736
Oh, the blandness!
339
00:15:01,773 --> 00:15:04,329
Have you Starfleet
monsters ever heard of salt?
340
00:15:04,455 --> 00:15:05,935
It's covered in it.
341
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:08,114
You're clearly trying to
destroy our taste buds.
342
00:15:08,150 --> 00:15:09,770
Guards, arrest this heathen.
343
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,418
Now hold on a damn minute.
344
00:15:11,455 --> 00:15:13,746
You cannot arrest a member of my crew.
345
00:15:13,783 --> 00:15:16,128
Oh-ho, are you
attacking our sovereignty,
346
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,938
and our digestive systems?
347
00:15:17,975 --> 00:15:19,119
Carol, it's all right.
348
00:15:19,155 --> 00:15:21,462
I'm sure the punishment
will be tolerable.
349
00:15:21,499 --> 00:15:23,511
We shall banish your entire family
350
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,771
from the great seating chart.
351
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:27,777
Captain, help me!
352
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:31,009
Now, for the next challenge.
353
00:15:46,807 --> 00:15:47,822
Begin!
354
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:49,082
Now that's a big targ.
355
00:15:51,495 --> 00:15:52,952
Yee!
356
00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,954
Am I catching it?
357
00:15:54,991 --> 00:15:56,658
It feels like I'm catching it.
358
00:15:57,795 --> 00:15:59,932
Man, this Bargh guy
seems like he's full of crap,
359
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:02,253
- right, Ma'ah?
- Yes, crap.
360
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:04,256
Hey, snap out of it, pal.
We got a targ to catch.
361
00:16:04,292 --> 00:16:06,681
How can we possibly
catch a beast this size?
362
00:16:08,025 --> 00:16:09,719
We each need to grab a leg.
363
00:16:09,756 --> 00:16:11,497
You are a lazy Hiq'aD.
364
00:16:11,559 --> 00:16:13,499
Why would I follow any plan of yours?
365
00:16:13,535 --> 00:16:15,350
I mean, I don't know, he
seems pretty sure of himself.
366
00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:16,691
Fine, you'll see.
367
00:16:16,728 --> 00:16:18,944
Then we charge now!
368
00:16:21,608 --> 00:16:23,088
Whoa!
369
00:16:27,427 --> 00:16:29,363
We did it!
370
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,532
Yeah, we did.
371
00:16:32,387 --> 00:16:33,736
You're not done yet!
372
00:16:33,773 --> 00:16:34,855
You must also...
373
00:16:34,891 --> 00:16:36,496
- trim the beast's nails.
- What?
374
00:16:36,532 --> 00:16:39,041
- And express its anal glands!
- Ooh, I got this.
375
00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:40,500
I've expressed
thousands of anal glands.
376
00:16:40,536 --> 00:16:41,582
What? No, man, stop.
377
00:16:41,619 --> 00:16:43,629
This is clearly just his targ.
378
00:16:43,666 --> 00:16:44,858
Hire a targ groomer, dude.
379
00:16:44,894 --> 00:16:45,941
You're just with us.
380
00:16:45,977 --> 00:16:47,318
I'm allowed to with you.
381
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,092
This weakling killed my brother.
382
00:16:49,128 --> 00:16:51,087
Oh, a weakling killed your brother?
383
00:16:51,124 --> 00:16:52,707
Well, then your brother
must have sucked.
384
00:16:52,743 --> 00:16:55,015
- How dare you?!
- Cease this petty bickering.
385
00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:57,517
- I am at Bargh's will.
- Perhaps it would be prudent
386
00:16:57,553 --> 00:16:59,642
to mark this challenge complete.
387
00:16:59,679 --> 00:17:02,378
If they're so eager
to get to the final trial,
388
00:17:02,415 --> 00:17:04,106
then let us do so.
389
00:17:04,505 --> 00:17:07,217
To demonstrate your
allegiance to the Empire,
390
00:17:07,254 --> 00:17:11,084
you must choose a member
of your crew for sacrifice.
391
00:17:11,308 --> 00:17:12,657
- What?
- Uh...
392
00:17:12,909 --> 00:17:14,737
I choose to sacrifice...
393
00:17:15,372 --> 00:17:16,535
Myself.
394
00:17:16,572 --> 00:17:18,187
Ma'ah, no.
395
00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:32,927
Ma'ah, stop.
396
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,880
It isn't honorable to give
up your life for no reason.
397
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:38,058
Killing one of you would
be meaningless slaughter.
398
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:41,388
If I die, I take my
honor to the grave.
399
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:42,984
He has made his decision.
400
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,534
Slay him.
401
00:17:44,621 --> 00:17:47,566
Perhaps it is reasonable
to give them time to discuss.
402
00:17:47,624 --> 00:17:49,894
You know, let them
squirm in anguish a bit.
403
00:17:49,930 --> 00:17:52,738
Hmm. Yes, I suppose you're right.
404
00:17:52,902 --> 00:17:55,601
Fetch me if they begin
pleading for their lives.
405
00:17:58,624 --> 00:18:01,137
Ma'ah, where is this
defeatist attitude coming from?
406
00:18:01,173 --> 00:18:02,916
You've barely been trying all day.
407
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:03,956
The human is right.
408
00:18:03,993 --> 00:18:06,003
You have behaved like month-old gagh,
409
00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:07,295
and not in a good way.
410
00:18:07,332 --> 00:18:09,334
I should kill you for those words.
411
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,258
But you are correct.
412
00:18:12,353 --> 00:18:14,132
My heart is not in the challenge.
413
00:18:14,168 --> 00:18:15,428
But we've got this.
414
00:18:15,465 --> 00:18:16,518
You can get your ship back.
415
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,472
I do not want to be a captain
416
00:18:18,509 --> 00:18:19,766
in Bargh's fleet anymore.
417
00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:22,762
Then what are we doing out here?
418
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:25,813
Battling with a crew that
has strength and honor,
419
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:28,942
it has reminded me how much
I hated serving on the Che'Ta.
420
00:18:28,978 --> 00:18:30,153
But you were captain.
421
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:32,486
Yes, but in Bargh's fleet.
422
00:18:32,537 --> 00:18:34,426
You have seen how he treats honor.
423
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:35,823
Under his banner,
424
00:18:35,860 --> 00:18:37,952
I would not be able
to hold my head high,
425
00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:39,744
even as a captain.
426
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:43,215
My time in the stars is over.
427
00:18:43,472 --> 00:18:46,335
Stop being a qoH.
428
00:18:47,688 --> 00:18:49,670
You dare insult me, human?
429
00:18:49,707 --> 00:18:52,111
- Boims, read the room.
- Look, a while back,
430
00:18:52,147 --> 00:18:54,394
I was transferred to one of
the coolest ships in Starfleet.
431
00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:56,510
But I realized it just wasn't for me.
432
00:18:56,547 --> 00:18:58,130
So I transferred back to the Cerritos.
433
00:18:58,166 --> 00:19:00,973
That wasn't my plan,
but it was the right move.
434
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:02,892
You can still be a captain,
435
00:19:02,929 --> 00:19:04,227
just not in his crappy fleet.
436
00:19:04,263 --> 00:19:07,104
Klingons cannot simply
transfer to a new ship
437
00:19:07,141 --> 00:19:08,575
- when they please.
- No.
438
00:19:08,611 --> 00:19:10,730
They need a two-thirds majority vote
439
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,360
from the Oversight Council.
440
00:19:13,523 --> 00:19:16,489
But you would still have
to select one of us to die.
441
00:19:16,526 --> 00:19:17,699
- I'll do it.
- Shut up.
442
00:19:17,735 --> 00:19:19,082
You will not.
But I actually think
443
00:19:19,118 --> 00:19:21,507
I may have an idea
about how to handle that.
444
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,949
Oh, you're
going to hate flavor prison.
445
00:19:24,985 --> 00:19:26,212
It's the only place on the planet
446
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:27,780
where we don't allow butter.
447
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:29,251
A fate worse than death.
448
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:31,588
I just don't understand
how the hogfish was so bad.
449
00:19:31,624 --> 00:19:33,028
I suppose it is no match for
450
00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:35,511
the wizened taste buds
of Legnog and Gonald.
451
00:19:35,548 --> 00:19:36,629
I don't know,
452
00:19:36,665 --> 00:19:38,294
I've been reading
their recent reviews.
453
00:19:38,330 --> 00:19:39,930
They say everything is bland.
454
00:19:39,966 --> 00:19:42,139
Chez DeSalle isn't bland.
455
00:19:42,176 --> 00:19:43,272
They've spent a hundred years
456
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:44,809
perfecting their pod plant puree.
457
00:19:44,845 --> 00:19:46,310
Migleemo, hurry up.
458
00:19:46,347 --> 00:19:48,210
I don't want to miss the amuse-bouche.
459
00:19:48,246 --> 00:19:50,496
They serve an
amuse-bouche in flavor jail?
460
00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:51,856
All arrivals to Klowahka
461
00:19:51,892 --> 00:19:54,319
are greeted with the
traditional amuse-bouche.
462
00:19:54,355 --> 00:19:56,222
It will be the last decent morsel
463
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:57,696
I ever taste.
464
00:20:02,545 --> 00:20:03,549
Bargh.
465
00:20:03,586 --> 00:20:06,839
I invoke the Rite of
Forced Conscription.
466
00:20:06,925 --> 00:20:08,333
What are you talking about?
467
00:20:08,369 --> 00:20:09,501
That's not a real thing.
468
00:20:09,537 --> 00:20:10,626
Oh, yes, it is.
469
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:13,337
The ritual has been
invoked and witnessed.
470
00:20:13,408 --> 00:20:14,909
You must now battle.
471
00:20:14,953 --> 00:20:16,722
What?
This is chatlh.
472
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,122
I refuse.
473
00:20:18,464 --> 00:20:21,303
Then prepare for Sto-vo-kor.
474
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:45,995
Enough, I yield.
475
00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:48,456
What is the point of this nonsense?
476
00:20:48,493 --> 00:20:51,333
You will still have to kill
a member of your crew.
477
00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:53,676
And, thanks to the
forced conscription,
478
00:20:53,726 --> 00:20:55,004
you're now one of us.
479
00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:56,692
Ho-Ho-Hold on now,
480
00:20:56,729 --> 00:20:58,137
let's... let us not be hasty.
481
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:00,113
It's right here in the ancient texts.
482
00:21:00,149 --> 00:21:02,553
Bargh, I select you to die.
483
00:21:02,590 --> 00:21:04,862
Unless, of course,
you would rather simply
484
00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:06,265
grant me my captaincy.
485
00:21:06,302 --> 00:21:07,352
This is absurd!
486
00:21:07,389 --> 00:21:09,268
Rules are rules, Bargh.
487
00:21:09,305 --> 00:21:11,128
You've been outmatched.
488
00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:23,866
Coward!
489
00:21:24,319 --> 00:21:27,620
You are the one whose
ashes shall pave Gre'thor.
490
00:21:35,242 --> 00:21:36,947
Whoa, that was awesome, brother.
491
00:21:36,983 --> 00:21:38,115
Are you okay?
492
00:21:38,245 --> 00:21:41,074
Better.
I am victorious!
493
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,557
It appears your plan succeeded.
494
00:21:48,594 --> 00:21:51,018
- What plan?
- Eh, Starfleet didn't just
495
00:21:51,055 --> 00:21:52,314
send me with an old skull.
496
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:53,454
I'm supposed to analyze
497
00:21:53,490 --> 00:21:55,815
a dimensional hole that
opened in Klingon space.
498
00:21:55,851 --> 00:21:58,150
Bargh despised the Federation.
499
00:21:58,187 --> 00:22:01,321
He refused to allow them
into the system for any reason.
500
00:22:01,358 --> 00:22:03,031
I did not mean to get the guy killed.
501
00:22:03,067 --> 00:22:04,453
I just...
I needed a Klingon captain
502
00:22:04,489 --> 00:22:05,742
to help me get my scans.
503
00:22:05,778 --> 00:22:08,501
You fought alongside me,
had your life threatened,
504
00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:10,788
all to scan a space hole?
505
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,078
Uh, I mean, it's a
really interesting hole.
506
00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:15,751
You play games with
death, little warrior.
507
00:22:15,892 --> 00:22:17,110
I like it.
508
00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:19,009
Now you know a captain.
509
00:22:19,046 --> 00:22:20,796
Let's get you the
information you seek.
510
00:22:20,832 --> 00:22:22,325
You'll need a ship, brother.
511
00:22:22,361 --> 00:22:24,511
If you are not going
back to the Che'Ta,
512
00:22:24,547 --> 00:22:25,816
who will you serve with?
513
00:22:25,852 --> 00:22:28,038
I have something in mind.
514
00:22:33,069 --> 00:22:35,230
Welcome,
travelers and prisoner.
515
00:22:35,266 --> 00:22:37,268
Please enjoy a raw Klowahkan oyster
516
00:22:37,305 --> 00:22:39,191
with grubfruit mignonette.
517
00:22:41,514 --> 00:22:44,196
Finally, some real food.
518
00:22:46,096 --> 00:22:48,325
Oh, delicious as always.
519
00:22:48,362 --> 00:22:50,712
Divine Klowakhan expertise.
520
00:22:51,836 --> 00:22:53,281
These oysters aren't delicious.
521
00:22:53,317 --> 00:22:54,651
They taste like.
522
00:22:54,688 --> 00:22:56,333
Aha! I knew it.
523
00:22:56,370 --> 00:22:57,626
What does she mean?
524
00:22:57,663 --> 00:22:58,850
These aren't your oysters.
525
00:22:58,886 --> 00:23:00,221
We swapped them with some manure
526
00:23:00,257 --> 00:23:01,506
we made with the replicator.
527
00:23:01,542 --> 00:23:03,599
Then why did you two moan in pleasure?
528
00:23:03,635 --> 00:23:04,717
They're lying.
529
00:23:04,754 --> 00:23:06,866
We are the best tasters in the galaxy.
530
00:23:08,319 --> 00:23:10,889
It's true.
This is.
531
00:23:13,134 --> 00:23:14,970
We lost our sense of taste!
532
00:23:15,007 --> 00:23:17,689
We can't tell if things are
sweet, salty or gizzulent.
533
00:23:17,725 --> 00:23:18,939
Then why lie?
534
00:23:18,976 --> 00:23:21,150
They were terrified
they'd be found out.
535
00:23:21,214 --> 00:23:23,235
A Klowahkan without a sense of taste
536
00:23:23,272 --> 00:23:24,737
is no Klowahkan at all.
537
00:23:24,774 --> 00:23:27,114
It's true.
We're cursed.
538
00:23:27,187 --> 00:23:29,241
Conversion disorder.
539
00:23:29,278 --> 00:23:32,069
The pressure of producing
criticism has caused you to lose
540
00:23:32,105 --> 00:23:34,164
the very thing that
causes your stress.
541
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,471
What are you talking about?
542
00:23:35,507 --> 00:23:36,791
Those aren't cooking words.
543
00:23:36,827 --> 00:23:38,568
Therapy, my good Gonald.
544
00:23:38,605 --> 00:23:40,252
I cook the mind.
545
00:23:40,534 --> 00:23:42,145
We're sorry for judging you.
546
00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:44,214
You really are a true Klowahkan,
547
00:23:44,378 --> 00:23:45,760
Dr. Migleemo.
548
00:23:45,797 --> 00:23:47,080
Can you help us?
549
00:23:47,117 --> 00:23:49,637
It will take many sessions, but, yes.
550
00:23:49,674 --> 00:23:51,987
As long as you provide
the high-end catering.
551
00:23:52,023 --> 00:23:53,724
Yes. Yes.
Anything, please.
552
00:23:53,761 --> 00:23:55,731
You will eat like a king.
553
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:56,894
Is that ethical?
554
00:23:56,931 --> 00:23:58,063
Shh, those two are punks.
555
00:23:58,099 --> 00:23:59,666
Just let him have his win.
556
00:24:10,881 --> 00:24:12,202
Did you see the Cerritos replicators
557
00:24:12,238 --> 00:24:13,437
got a two-star review
558
00:24:13,473 --> 00:24:14,704
from Legnog and Gonald?
559
00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:16,331
What are you talking about?
I... I don't care.
560
00:24:16,367 --> 00:24:18,249
Hey, did you get your data, Starfleet?
561
00:24:18,285 --> 00:24:20,126
Yeah. We've been assuming
these dimensional rifts
562
00:24:20,162 --> 00:24:21,197
are a natural occurrence,
563
00:24:21,234 --> 00:24:23,204
but now it's looking like
someone's making them.
564
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,056
Then it was a successful mission.
565
00:24:25,092 --> 00:24:28,676
So, uh, where in the fleet
will you go now, brother?
566
00:24:28,713 --> 00:24:31,121
I already have a truck
which requires a captain.
567
00:24:31,157 --> 00:24:32,888
You kidding me?
568
00:24:32,963 --> 00:24:35,683
But this is what I use
to deliver our bloodwine.
569
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,685
Martok started on a ship like this.
570
00:24:37,816 --> 00:24:40,863
I will command her
with integrity and honor.
571
00:24:41,660 --> 00:24:43,749
Well, then I will stay on the farm.
572
00:24:43,786 --> 00:24:44,836
You will not.
573
00:24:44,873 --> 00:24:46,235
I need a first officer,
574
00:24:46,272 --> 00:24:48,405
and I can think of
no one better suited.
575
00:24:48,441 --> 00:24:49,729
Really? Even though I stink
576
00:24:49,765 --> 00:24:51,491
and piss you off, like, all the time?
577
00:24:51,527 --> 00:24:53,784
We can work on your stink.
578
00:24:53,924 --> 00:24:56,927
And, our ship needs its first upgrade.
579
00:24:57,183 --> 00:24:58,455
Wait, that's my jaws.
580
00:24:58,492 --> 00:25:01,500
Brother, you are not
such a petaQ after all.
581
00:25:01,862 --> 00:25:03,907
As much as it pains me to say it,
582
00:25:03,944 --> 00:25:06,120
both of you have proven your toDuj.
583
00:25:06,188 --> 00:25:08,278
You would make an excellent cha'Dich.
584
00:25:08,376 --> 00:25:09,527
Right back at you, man.
585
00:25:09,563 --> 00:25:11,253
He said I'm a freakin' cha'Dich.
586
00:25:11,289 --> 00:25:12,338
I'm gonna get him out of here.
587
00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:13,635
Good luck with your new crew.
588
00:25:13,671 --> 00:25:14,691
Ow.
589
00:25:14,728 --> 00:25:16,391
Help, brother, I fell on the bones.
590
00:25:16,427 --> 00:25:18,238
Fell on the bones
and can't feel my legs.
591
00:25:18,274 --> 00:25:20,497
It will be my greatest challenge.
592
00:25:20,533 --> 00:25:22,272
I'm gonna die here, brother.
593
00:25:22,308 --> 00:25:24,365
- Hold still.
- Ma'ah, I can see Kahless,
594
00:25:24,401 --> 00:25:25,910
the first one, the original one,
595
00:25:25,946 --> 00:25:26,995
the one that did impressions.
596
00:25:27,032 --> 00:25:28,065
How did you even manage to
597
00:25:28,102 --> 00:25:30,658
- get this that deep?
- I don't know.
598
00:25:30,707 --> 00:25:33,374
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