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Cred has more electrolytes
2
00:00:41,017 --> 00:00:42,919
than Gatorade or Prime.
3
00:00:43,019 --> 00:00:47,023
And now Cred has a new
flavor: Cherry Bubblegum.
4
00:00:57,267 --> 00:00:59,736
Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottles
5
00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:01,405
of that drink to school?
6
00:01:01,505 --> 00:01:04,575
Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.
7
00:01:04,675 --> 00:01:07,978
I have to have more
Cred than anyone else.
8
00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:11,482
♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
9
00:01:11,582 --> 00:01:13,149
♪ I got Cred ♪
10
00:01:13,249 --> 00:01:14,985
♪ I got Cred, bitches ♪
11
00:01:15,085 --> 00:01:16,853
♪ I got Cred ♪
12
00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,655
♪ I got Kiwi Lime ♪
13
00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,056
♪ I got Gooble Grape ♪
14
00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:22,025
♪ You got no Cred, bitches ♪
15
00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,860
♪ But I got mine ♪
16
00:01:28,198 --> 00:01:30,834
♪ We got Cred,
bitches, we got Cred ♪
17
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:32,736
♪ Our teeth are blue, bitches ♪
18
00:01:32,836 --> 00:01:34,871
♪ Our tongues are red... ♪
19
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:36,248
Yeah, but
it's, like, seriously,
20
00:01:36,272 --> 00:01:37,832
look at how it's
suddenly everybody now.
21
00:01:37,908 --> 00:01:39,410
Like that Spencer Hollis kid.
22
00:01:39,510 --> 00:01:40,844
He never even cared about Cred,
23
00:01:40,944 --> 00:01:42,355
he just drinks it 'cause
some stupid influencer
24
00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:43,614
said it's cool now.
25
00:01:43,714 --> 00:01:45,716
Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?
26
00:01:46,817 --> 00:01:50,253
Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.
27
00:01:51,588 --> 00:01:53,189
See? That's what
I'm talking about.
28
00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:55,609
Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.
29
00:01:55,659 --> 00:01:56,827
That's a real Cred drinker.
30
00:01:56,927 --> 00:01:59,329
Unlike all the
poser Cred drinkers
31
00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:00,931
like Spencer Hollis!
32
00:02:01,031 --> 00:02:02,265
Fuck you.
33
00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:05,001
Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!
34
00:02:05,101 --> 00:02:07,404
It's
literally everywhere now.
35
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:10,040
These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,
36
00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:13,143
but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.
37
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:16,447
Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?
38
00:02:16,547 --> 00:02:17,981
Online influencers.
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00:02:18,081 --> 00:02:20,083
They promote this stuff
to kids to make money.
40
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,462
I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult things
41
00:02:22,486 --> 00:02:25,388
on something they know kids will watch.
42
00:02:25,489 --> 00:02:28,625
You guys, we have a big problem.
43
00:02:28,725 --> 00:02:30,561
- What is it?
- It's about the South Park
44
00:02:30,661 --> 00:02:32,429
elementary art teacher.
45
00:02:32,529 --> 00:02:33,930
Mrs. Streibel? What about her?
46
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:37,133
We just found out
that she's been...
47
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:40,604
doing pornographic
videos on OnlyFans.
48
00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:42,673
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
49
00:02:42,773 --> 00:02:45,408
There's gonna be a
big meeting tonight,
50
00:02:45,509 --> 00:02:48,344
and everybody's gonna see it.
51
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:32,155
Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.
52
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,525
Be civil? How are we
supposed to go home
53
00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:37,327
and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?
54
00:03:38,595 --> 00:03:40,564
She is not a slut.
55
00:03:40,664 --> 00:03:43,967
Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activity
56
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:47,270
on a website that
is for adults only.
57
00:03:48,739 --> 00:03:50,340
Of course kids are gonna see it.
58
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,721
They see everything on the Internet.
59
00:03:52,776 --> 00:03:56,212
Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?
60
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:59,650
Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.
61
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:01,384
Oh, don't turn
this around on us.
62
00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:03,353
We can't control
what our kids drink
63
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:04,521
or what they watch.
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00:04:04,621 --> 00:04:06,189
They're your kids.
65
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,324
Many teachers are
struggling to get by
66
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:10,661
and need ways to
supplement their income.
67
00:04:10,761 --> 00:04:13,564
Mrs. Streibel makes close to
minimum wage as a teacher,
68
00:04:13,664 --> 00:04:17,768
but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.
69
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,039
It doesn't matter
how much she made,
70
00:04:23,139 --> 00:04:25,576
we're talking about someone
who influences our children.
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00:04:25,676 --> 00:04:27,778
Did she say $10,000 a week?
72
00:04:27,878 --> 00:04:29,780
Listen, we have suspended
73
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,182
Mrs. Streibel
indefinitely, okay?
74
00:04:32,282 --> 00:04:34,050
But over the next few days,
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00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,019
you should probably
talk to your kids
76
00:04:36,119 --> 00:04:40,791
about what they might
have seen, m'kay.
77
00:04:51,401 --> 00:04:56,472
Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?
78
00:04:56,573 --> 00:04:58,008
What?
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00:04:58,108 --> 00:05:00,844
Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.
80
00:05:02,245 --> 00:05:03,479
Clyde...
81
00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:05,649
we're understanding
that some tough things
82
00:05:05,749 --> 00:05:07,584
have been going on at school.
83
00:05:07,684 --> 00:05:10,153
Yes. Yes, they have.
84
00:05:10,253 --> 00:05:12,488
All right, well, we know
that some of the stuff
85
00:05:12,589 --> 00:05:15,826
you're dealing with might
be kind of disturbing.
86
00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:18,061
Yes, it's totally
disturbing, yes.
87
00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:21,698
All right, Clyde, well, we
want to try and help you.
88
00:05:21,798 --> 00:05:22,899
Really? You do?
89
00:05:22,999 --> 00:05:24,735
Oh, thank God. Finally.
90
00:05:24,835 --> 00:05:27,070
Yeah, pal, let-let
me explain to you
91
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:29,606
what "double penetration" is.
92
00:05:30,607 --> 00:05:31,942
Double penetration?
93
00:05:32,042 --> 00:05:34,110
See, in your art
teacher's OnlyFans page,
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00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:37,748
her and two men, who love
each other very much,
95
00:05:37,848 --> 00:05:40,216
wanted to express that love...
96
00:05:40,316 --> 00:05:42,118
Dad, nobody cares about
double penetration.
97
00:05:42,218 --> 00:05:44,458
My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drink
98
00:05:44,487 --> 00:05:46,723
hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.
99
00:05:46,823 --> 00:05:48,625
Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filled
100
00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:50,060
with additives and fake sugar,
101
00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,828
and they're not
good for children.
102
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:53,172
You're not even my
real mom, Janice,
103
00:05:53,196 --> 00:05:54,831
so why don't you
shut the fuck up?
104
00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:56,432
Clyde, that's enough.
105
00:05:56,532 --> 00:05:58,410
Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.
106
00:05:58,434 --> 00:06:00,103
They all have Cred,
but I have zero Cred
107
00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:01,714
because my dad and
his stupid girlfriend
108
00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:03,039
think it's bad for me.
109
00:06:03,139 --> 00:06:05,308
Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?
110
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,343
Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!
111
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,288
All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with you
112
00:06:09,312 --> 00:06:10,480
about double penetration,
113
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:12,348
and you can just go
to your room now.
114
00:06:12,448 --> 00:06:13,650
Fine!
115
00:06:14,484 --> 00:06:16,152
Thanks a lot for
making sure your son
116
00:06:16,252 --> 00:06:19,489
is the only kid in
school without any Cred!
117
00:06:25,796 --> 00:06:29,232
It's like
nobody understands me, you know?
118
00:06:29,332 --> 00:06:31,367
Like, all these stupid
boomers and people over 40
119
00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:33,904
don't know how hard it
is for young people.
120
00:06:34,004 --> 00:06:35,739
- Yeah.
- Like, yo, if you guys
121
00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:37,808
feel the same way, just
leave a comment down below
122
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:39,609
and smash that like button.
123
00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:44,080
You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.
124
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:46,082
And when I feel like
I can't be myself,
125
00:06:46,182 --> 00:06:48,952
that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.
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00:06:49,052 --> 00:06:51,788
That's when I need Cred.
127
00:06:51,888 --> 00:06:54,490
It's the coolest
sports drink in the world.
128
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:56,559
Cred is 100% sugar-free.
129
00:06:56,659 --> 00:06:59,329
Cred has electrolytes so
you can ride your bike.
130
00:06:59,429 --> 00:07:00,964
And also, Cred
has more vitamin A
131
00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:03,266
than your body could
possibly ever use.
132
00:07:03,366 --> 00:07:05,201
I can't feel my face.
133
00:07:05,301 --> 00:07:07,470
Drink Cred or you're
a piece of shit.
134
00:07:08,905 --> 00:07:11,041
Drink Cred
at your school today.
135
00:07:12,843 --> 00:07:16,146
Hey, guys, I know there's a
lot of influencers out there
136
00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:17,814
trying to get your attention.
137
00:07:17,914 --> 00:07:20,283
And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a moment
138
00:07:20,383 --> 00:07:24,654
to check out what I have to
say here on My OnlyFans page.
139
00:07:24,755 --> 00:07:28,058
I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,
140
00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:29,993
I hope you'll
consider subscribing.
141
00:07:30,093 --> 00:07:31,494
If you want me to
give a shout-out
142
00:07:31,594 --> 00:07:33,363
for your social
media, I can do that.
143
00:07:33,463 --> 00:07:35,103
And if you want a
custom, just let me know
144
00:07:35,198 --> 00:07:36,675
if there's anything
special you want to see.
145
00:07:36,699 --> 00:07:39,002
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh! Hey, Sharon,
146
00:07:39,102 --> 00:07:40,703
just supplementing my income.
147
00:07:40,804 --> 00:07:42,372
Are you serious right now?
148
00:07:42,472 --> 00:07:45,241
All right, all
right, Sharon, yes,
149
00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:47,343
I am an OnlyFans model.
150
00:07:47,443 --> 00:07:49,045
And I'm not ashamed of it.
151
00:07:49,145 --> 00:07:50,747
Goddamn it, Randy.
152
00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:54,150
What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?
153
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,719
It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.
154
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:59,722
No, it's definitely
not a big deal.
155
00:07:59,823 --> 00:08:01,291
Okay, good. Thank you.
156
00:08:01,391 --> 00:08:03,126
All I'm doing is
taking back control
157
00:08:03,226 --> 00:08:05,228
of my sexuality on a platform
158
00:08:05,328 --> 00:08:07,163
that I can benefit
from financially.
159
00:08:07,263 --> 00:08:08,903
So you're just gonna
sit here and jack off
160
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:11,868
for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?
161
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,070
I jack off two hours
a week anyways.
162
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,772
Now I just do it
a little bit more
163
00:08:15,872 --> 00:08:18,508
and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.
164
00:08:18,608 --> 00:08:20,811
If your children
find out about this,
165
00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:23,179
they are going to leave home.
166
00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:26,883
Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.
167
00:08:26,983 --> 00:08:28,751
It's totally safe.
168
00:08:28,852 --> 00:08:31,254
Kids aren't gonna see this.
169
00:08:41,164 --> 00:08:43,199
Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?
170
00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:45,068
- For what?
- Okay, you know how, like,
171
00:08:45,168 --> 00:08:46,478
some kids in this
school really like Cred
172
00:08:46,502 --> 00:08:47,804
and others just pretend to,
173
00:08:47,904 --> 00:08:49,648
but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?
174
00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:52,208
Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.
175
00:08:52,308 --> 00:08:53,643
What's an affinity group?
176
00:08:53,743 --> 00:08:55,583
It's where you, like,
divide people into groups
177
00:08:55,611 --> 00:08:57,756
and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.
178
00:08:57,780 --> 00:08:59,682
See, it's like we're
the legit Cred drinkers,
179
00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:01,127
and we should just let
the very coolest kids
180
00:09:01,151 --> 00:09:02,218
into our affinity group.
181
00:09:02,318 --> 00:09:03,619
Oh, hey, Clyde.
182
00:09:03,719 --> 00:09:05,421
- Where's your Cred?
- Oh, it's just, uh...
183
00:09:05,521 --> 00:09:08,358
- it's, uh, in my backpack again.
- Oh, that's cool.
184
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,269
You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?
185
00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:11,794
Yeah, I like Clyde.
186
00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:14,055
Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?
187
00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:16,530
- What's an affinity group?
- It's like where people separate
188
00:09:16,566 --> 00:09:18,210
into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefs
189
00:09:18,234 --> 00:09:19,979
and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.
190
00:09:20,003 --> 00:09:21,647
Usually, white people can't
be in an affinity group,
191
00:09:21,671 --> 00:09:23,182
but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.
192
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:24,875
That's not what an
affinity group is.
193
00:09:24,975 --> 00:09:27,243
Uh, yeah, well, no one's
inviting you, Kyle.
194
00:09:27,343 --> 00:09:29,221
'Cause it looks like you
don't even have any Cred.
195
00:09:29,245 --> 00:09:31,014
Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.
196
00:09:31,114 --> 00:09:33,249
Oh, sure, it's in
his backpack, guys.
197
00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:34,885
Yeah, let's see it, then.
198
00:09:34,985 --> 00:09:37,921
It's right here. We drink way
more Cred than you guys do.
199
00:09:38,021 --> 00:09:40,423
Oh, yeah, right. Tweek
drinks four bottles of Cred
200
00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,926
for breakfast.
201
00:09:44,861 --> 00:09:46,405
I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.
202
00:09:46,429 --> 00:09:47,797
It just sounds like trouble.
203
00:09:47,898 --> 00:09:49,232
Yeah, well, we don't want you.
204
00:09:49,332 --> 00:09:50,766
'Cause you just
pretend to like Cred
205
00:09:50,867 --> 00:09:52,202
'cause it's a fad right now
206
00:09:52,302 --> 00:09:53,880
like all the other
lame-o's in this school.
207
00:09:53,904 --> 00:09:55,471
Hey, guys.
208
00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,074
Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?
209
00:09:58,174 --> 00:10:00,614
- For what?
- I was just gonna talk to you about your backpack.
210
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,578
- W-What about my backpack?
- Well, it's just...
211
00:10:02,678 --> 00:10:04,423
You know, it's really
best to have a backpack
212
00:10:04,447 --> 00:10:06,258
that's got a water bottle
pouch to put your Cred in.
213
00:10:06,282 --> 00:10:07,659
See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,
214
00:10:07,683 --> 00:10:09,403
you can see my Cred
bottle from the outside?
215
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:10,696
You just go like this,
and everyone-everyone
216
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,120
can see your Cred?
You're just like,
217
00:10:12,188 --> 00:10:13,323
"Oh, hey, what's going on?
218
00:10:13,423 --> 00:10:14,257
"Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.
219
00:10:14,357 --> 00:10:16,092
It's, like, right here."
220
00:10:16,192 --> 00:10:18,028
Um, well, I-I don't think
221
00:10:18,128 --> 00:10:19,738
I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.
222
00:10:19,762 --> 00:10:21,607
Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or something
223
00:10:21,631 --> 00:10:22,999
to make your own bottle pouch?
224
00:10:23,099 --> 00:10:24,343
You know, we definitely
don't want you to look
225
00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:25,735
like you don't have any Cred.
226
00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:27,595
All right,
see you in class, brah.
227
00:10:41,151 --> 00:10:43,219
Hey, Sharon.
Can we talk?
228
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,589
I feel like there's a
lot bad things going on
229
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,792
in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?
230
00:10:49,892 --> 00:10:53,763
I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happening
231
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:56,766
in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.
232
00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:58,901
And I know it can feel
like "What can I do?
233
00:10:59,002 --> 00:11:01,771
I'm not special, how could
I ever make a difference?"
234
00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:05,175
But we can't let
ourselves think like that.
235
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,343
Sometimes what it takes
236
00:11:07,443 --> 00:11:09,946
is just one person
to start a movement.
237
00:11:10,046 --> 00:11:13,816
One person, and then
everyone else might follow.
238
00:11:17,153 --> 00:11:22,592
I am not subscribing to
your OnlyFans page, Randy.
239
00:11:22,692 --> 00:11:25,661
Okay, well, you're a cunt.
240
00:11:33,069 --> 00:11:34,404
Yeah, that looks good.
241
00:11:34,504 --> 00:11:36,839
Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.
242
00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:39,118
Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.
243
00:11:39,142 --> 00:11:41,644
That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.
244
00:12:12,742 --> 00:12:14,210
Hey.
245
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,079
Hey...
246
00:12:16,179 --> 00:12:17,847
What's goin' on?
247
00:12:17,947 --> 00:12:21,684
So... are you,
like, selling Cred?
248
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,254
What? Selling hydration
drinks on school grounds
249
00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:25,921
is against the rules.
250
00:12:26,022 --> 00:12:27,490
Come here, come here.
251
00:12:28,258 --> 00:12:30,793
What the... Hey, what are you...
What the hell are you doing?
252
00:12:30,893 --> 00:12:34,097
If you're wearing
a wire, I will kick your ass.
253
00:12:34,197 --> 00:12:36,699
Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?
254
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:39,635
Sure, I got Cred. What
are ya looking for?
255
00:12:39,735 --> 00:12:42,405
A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?
256
00:12:42,505 --> 00:12:43,625
No, no, do you have any ones
257
00:12:43,673 --> 00:12:45,175
that don't taste like total ass?
258
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:46,542
Oh, you want the good shit.
259
00:12:46,642 --> 00:12:48,811
I got your Bubblegum
Grape right here.
260
00:12:48,911 --> 00:12:50,146
Okay, how much?
261
00:12:50,246 --> 00:12:51,381
Eighty bucks.
262
00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,716
$80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?
263
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,161
What do you think
I'm runnin' here,
264
00:12:55,185 --> 00:12:56,852
a fucking charity
for the homeless?
265
00:12:56,952 --> 00:12:59,189
How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?
266
00:12:59,289 --> 00:13:01,057
I can get you into that for $65.
267
00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:05,027
I don't have $65. What
can I get for three bucks?
268
00:13:05,128 --> 00:13:06,796
Three bucks? Oh, sure.
269
00:13:06,896 --> 00:13:08,931
For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.
270
00:13:09,031 --> 00:13:11,501
- What good is that gonna do me?
- It's easy.
271
00:13:11,601 --> 00:13:13,636
You just fill your
empty bottle with water,
272
00:13:13,736 --> 00:13:15,338
add a little food coloring.
273
00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:19,542
Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.
274
00:13:19,642 --> 00:13:22,712
I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!
275
00:13:22,812 --> 00:13:24,147
Cool thing, man.
276
00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:26,982
You just go back into the
school without any Cred at all.
277
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,884
See how long you last.
278
00:13:30,153 --> 00:13:31,654
Here!
279
00:13:33,523 --> 00:13:35,225
Hey, guys,
it's your boy Randy,
280
00:13:35,325 --> 00:13:38,128
and in this video we're
doing authentic pad Thai
281
00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:39,895
for under $6.
282
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:42,064
Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimp
283
00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:43,633
and some rice noodles.
284
00:13:43,733 --> 00:13:45,777
For the wet ingredients, we're
looking at a couple eggs,
285
00:13:45,801 --> 00:13:47,337
some fish and also soy sauce.
286
00:13:47,437 --> 00:13:49,515
And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,
287
00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:50,973
green onion, and then of course,
288
00:13:51,073 --> 00:13:54,043
we're gonna top that all
off with some fresh nuts.
289
00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:56,446
Those nuts are gonna
give it that extra bite.
290
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:57,789
Now, if you like
what you're seeing
291
00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:59,682
be sure to smash that
subscribe button.
292
00:13:59,782 --> 00:14:03,119
- And...
- Get your balls off the table!
293
00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:06,055
Oh, oh, great Sharon you
just ruined the shot!
294
00:14:06,922 --> 00:14:09,292
The guys at the deli
wanted me to say hi, Randy.
295
00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:11,494
They all saw you on OnlyFans.
296
00:14:11,594 --> 00:14:13,296
Really? Are they
gonna subscribe?
297
00:14:13,396 --> 00:14:15,030
No, they're not
going to subscribe.
298
00:14:15,131 --> 00:14:17,200
Nobody's going to
subscribe, Randy.
299
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,135
Will you fucking stop?
300
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:20,803
This stuff takes time!
301
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,048
You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.
302
00:14:23,072 --> 00:14:25,241
You have to support it
with other social media,
303
00:14:25,341 --> 00:14:26,676
have a craft to teach...
304
00:14:26,776 --> 00:14:28,978
Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!
305
00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:31,214
Oh, so now you're an influencer?
306
00:14:31,314 --> 00:14:33,149
Yes! I'm an influencer.
307
00:14:33,249 --> 00:14:35,985
Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.
308
00:14:36,085 --> 00:14:39,722
Maybe I should go and
do my own OnlyFans.
309
00:14:39,822 --> 00:14:41,891
What? What?
310
00:14:41,991 --> 00:14:44,260
Yeah, like people are gonna
pay to see your OnlyFans.
311
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,329
I'll make more than you do!
312
00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:48,631
Sharon, being an
influencer is work.
313
00:14:48,731 --> 00:14:50,600
You got to pay for the
lighting, for the sound,
314
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,067
you got to be good at editing!
315
00:14:52,168 --> 00:14:53,403
Okay. Cool, Randy.
316
00:14:53,503 --> 00:14:55,037
I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.
317
00:14:55,137 --> 00:14:58,608
Ok-okay. Okay, you
go do that, Sharon!
318
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,444
I'm gonna fuckin' do it!
319
00:15:01,544 --> 00:15:04,447
Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...
320
00:15:06,882 --> 00:15:08,017
Sharon?
321
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:33,976
You got this day, bro!
322
00:15:34,076 --> 00:15:37,613
You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.
323
00:15:45,555 --> 00:15:47,323
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
324
00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:48,624
♪ I've got Cred ♪
325
00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,726
♪ I've got Cred, bitches ♪
326
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:52,728
♪ I've got Cred. ♪
327
00:15:55,798 --> 00:15:57,709
Hey, guys, we're having a
Cred affinity group meeting
328
00:15:57,733 --> 00:15:59,245
today at 4:00. Nobody's
allowed but us, okay?
329
00:15:59,269 --> 00:16:00,636
Hey, Jordan.
330
00:16:00,736 --> 00:16:02,013
We're having a meeting
today. You can't come.
331
00:16:02,037 --> 00:16:03,282
Affinity group
meeting today, Sally.
332
00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:04,540
You're not invited.
333
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,884
Well, I think that's
just about everyone.
334
00:16:05,908 --> 00:16:07,152
Tweek, did you
tell Spencer Hollis
335
00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,687
he's not allowed in
the affinity group?
336
00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:10,222
Yeah. You told me to
call him last night.
337
00:16:10,246 --> 00:16:11,447
He didn't seem to care.
338
00:16:11,547 --> 00:16:13,749
- Yeah, he cares.
- Oh, there's Clyde!
339
00:16:13,849 --> 00:16:17,587
Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.
340
00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,355
Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?
341
00:16:19,455 --> 00:16:20,523
Yeah, it's really cool.
342
00:16:20,623 --> 00:16:21,957
You can see your Cred now.
343
00:16:22,057 --> 00:16:23,735
Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is...
344
00:16:23,759 --> 00:16:26,829
Oh, my God! Clyde! You
got Moonrise Mellow?
345
00:16:26,929 --> 00:16:29,007
How the hell did you get a
bottle of Moonrise Mellow?
346
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,767
Oh, it was just, uh, what
my parents gave me today.
347
00:16:31,867 --> 00:16:33,269
You guys, Moonrise
Mellow is, like,
348
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,770
the hardest flavor to get ever.
349
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:37,707
- Whoa, lucky.
- Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.
350
00:16:37,807 --> 00:16:40,476
- Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
- No, no, dude, wait.
351
00:16:40,576 --> 00:16:43,045
Check out what Clyde
has. Moonrise Mellow.
352
00:16:43,145 --> 00:16:44,145
That's impossible.
353
00:16:44,179 --> 00:16:45,815
Look at their faces.
354
00:16:45,915 --> 00:16:47,450
They're so jealous.
355
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:48,818
No, it's really impossible.
356
00:16:48,918 --> 00:16:50,629
Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.
357
00:16:50,653 --> 00:16:53,323
Guess you wish now that you
were in the Cred affinity group.
358
00:16:53,423 --> 00:16:56,125
We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.
359
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:57,493
It's probably fake.
360
00:16:57,593 --> 00:16:59,395
Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?
361
00:16:59,495 --> 00:17:01,331
You want to fucking taste it?
362
00:17:01,431 --> 00:17:03,132
What the fuck?
363
00:17:03,232 --> 00:17:05,167
This is fucking
apple juice. Gross!
364
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:08,170
- Let's see.
- Hey, give it back.
365
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:10,373
Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.
366
00:17:10,473 --> 00:17:11,841
We're not posers!
367
00:17:11,941 --> 00:17:14,644
Hey, guys. Cred affinity
group uses fake Cred.
368
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,881
What the fuck?
369
00:17:18,981 --> 00:17:20,341
What the fuck have
you done, Clyde?
370
00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:21,484
I'm sorry, okay?
371
00:17:21,584 --> 00:17:22,818
Oh, he's sorry.
372
00:17:22,918 --> 00:17:24,520
He faked having
Cred, but he's sorry!
373
00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:27,690
All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?
374
00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:29,659
They think it's bad for me.
375
00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:31,994
So you never had Cred?
376
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:33,095
No.
377
00:17:33,195 --> 00:17:34,397
Oh, my God!
378
00:17:34,497 --> 00:17:36,666
We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.
379
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:38,000
We fucking backed you!
380
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,135
What the hell are we gonna do?
381
00:17:40,235 --> 00:17:41,404
Why do you guys care?
382
00:17:41,504 --> 00:17:42,814
I'm the one who
doesn't have any Cred!
383
00:17:42,838 --> 00:17:44,173
That's not how it works, man!
384
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:45,951
If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around you
385
00:17:45,975 --> 00:17:47,510
loses all their Cred.
386
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:50,112
We're dead. We're
fuckin' dead.
387
00:17:50,212 --> 00:17:51,732
Word is gonna spread
through the school
388
00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:53,158
that our affinity
group has no Cred
389
00:17:53,182 --> 00:17:54,884
and then we're gonna...
390
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:01,624
How could you do
this to us, Clyde?
391
00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:03,593
I'm sorry. It was
all the pressure.
392
00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:07,730
I never even wanted to
be in an affinity group.
393
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,264
Now I'm doomed!
394
00:18:11,434 --> 00:18:14,770
Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.
395
00:18:14,870 --> 00:18:17,106
- You like that, guys?
- Oh, my God.
396
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:19,975
- Oh... Oh, God.
- Oh, my God. She did it.
397
00:18:20,075 --> 00:18:22,645
- Mm... Oh, yeah.
- She actually did it.
398
00:18:22,745 --> 00:18:25,314
- She actually got more subscribers than me.
- Ooh, yeah, guys.
399
00:18:25,415 --> 00:18:27,082
Oh, yeah.
400
00:18:27,182 --> 00:18:28,918
Just let me know if
there's anything special
401
00:18:29,018 --> 00:18:30,586
you'd like to see, guys.
402
00:18:30,686 --> 00:18:32,955
- 3,100 subscribers.
- Ooh...
403
00:18:33,055 --> 00:18:34,724
- Oh, oh, yeah...
- How is that possible?
404
00:18:34,824 --> 00:18:36,526
I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.
405
00:18:36,626 --> 00:18:37,927
The sound keeps clipping
406
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:40,029
like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.
407
00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:42,898
And who's that guy? He's
blocking half the shot.
408
00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:45,501
- Oh, oh, ooh...
- This is total amateur hour!
409
00:18:45,601 --> 00:18:47,770
Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.
410
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,038
How can I help you?
411
00:18:49,138 --> 00:18:51,240
Yeah, I just found
out that my wife has
412
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:52,608
an OnlyFans page,
413
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,977
and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.
414
00:18:55,077 --> 00:18:57,513
I'm starting to think this
whole thing is rigged.
415
00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:59,081
Well, it is slightly easier
416
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,951
for our female content
creators to find an audience.
417
00:19:02,051 --> 00:19:04,787
Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.
418
00:19:04,887 --> 00:19:06,064
I'll never hear the end of it.
419
00:19:06,088 --> 00:19:07,723
Well, sir, have you been trying
420
00:19:07,823 --> 00:19:09,903
the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?
421
00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:11,561
Yes! I added a skill.
422
00:19:11,661 --> 00:19:14,964
I'm advertising my OnlyFans
page with TikTok and Instagram.
423
00:19:15,064 --> 00:19:17,500
What about optimizing
your algorithm?
424
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,835
Oh, um, how do I do that?
425
00:19:19,935 --> 00:19:21,303
No, no, no. Not
with your penis.
426
00:19:21,403 --> 00:19:23,272
See, what a lot of
influencers will do is
427
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,808
they talk about things and
show things in their videos
428
00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:26,976
that are trending.
429
00:19:27,076 --> 00:19:28,678
Then you can hashtag that,
430
00:19:28,778 --> 00:19:31,089
and the search engines will
think your content is trending.
431
00:19:31,113 --> 00:19:35,184
So I... add stuff to my
videos that's popular,
432
00:19:35,284 --> 00:19:37,252
and people will
accidentally go to my page
433
00:19:37,352 --> 00:19:39,088
trying to search for
that popular thing.
434
00:19:39,188 --> 00:19:40,222
Exactly.
435
00:19:40,322 --> 00:19:41,624
That's perfect!
436
00:19:41,724 --> 00:19:45,327
But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?
437
00:19:50,533 --> 00:19:53,002
Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?
438
00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:55,871
You want to know how school was?
439
00:19:55,971 --> 00:19:57,439
It fucking sucked!
440
00:19:57,540 --> 00:20:00,009
All I wanted was to have a
little bit of Cred at school,
441
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:02,545
but now I've destroyed
it and everyone hates me!
442
00:20:02,645 --> 00:20:06,015
Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.
443
00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:08,050
And you shut the
fuck up, Janice!
444
00:20:08,150 --> 00:20:11,053
- You are not my mom.
- Clyde!
445
00:20:12,622 --> 00:20:15,262
I seriously can't stand
how stupid people are sometimes.
446
00:20:15,357 --> 00:20:17,960
That's why I do all
my pranks and stuff.
447
00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:20,996
Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positive
448
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,431
when everyone sucks so hard.
449
00:20:22,532 --> 00:20:24,172
If you like what I'm
saying in this video,
450
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:26,301
smash that like
button down below.
451
00:20:27,202 --> 00:20:28,638
You know, the thing is,
452
00:20:28,738 --> 00:20:30,172
when you really
feel the most down,
453
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,575
that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?
454
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:36,178
I'm gonna give you 10
tips to being tougher.
455
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,681
But first I want to give
a shout-out to our sponsor
456
00:20:38,781 --> 00:20:40,415
Cred hydration drinks!
457
00:20:41,984 --> 00:20:43,504
Cred gives you all
the energy you need!
458
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:46,221
And now Cred has an
all-new exclusive flavor.
459
00:20:46,321 --> 00:20:48,758
Introducing new Mega Cred.
460
00:20:48,858 --> 00:20:50,125
It's a super limited edition
461
00:20:50,225 --> 00:20:52,494
only available to a select few.
462
00:20:52,595 --> 00:20:54,697
And Cred's doing a big giveaway
463
00:20:54,797 --> 00:20:58,133
and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.
464
00:21:02,772 --> 00:21:04,073
So I looked it up,
465
00:21:04,173 --> 00:21:05,493
and there's this
drink called Cred
466
00:21:05,575 --> 00:21:07,843
that's the most searched
thing on the internet.
467
00:21:07,943 --> 00:21:09,344
I figured if I can get my hands
468
00:21:09,444 --> 00:21:11,213
on some of the more
hard to get bottles
469
00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:14,116
and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.
470
00:21:14,216 --> 00:21:16,886
Everyone says maybe
you can help me.
471
00:21:18,554 --> 00:21:21,390
Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.
472
00:21:22,424 --> 00:21:24,293
Okay, look, I'm
not wearing a wire.
473
00:21:24,393 --> 00:21:25,861
You want to see?
474
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:28,564
No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?
475
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,633
I'm looking for a lot of Cred.
476
00:21:30,733 --> 00:21:32,067
Maybe I can even get them
477
00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,969
to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.
478
00:21:34,069 --> 00:21:35,270
Oh, okay. Then you'll want
479
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:36,939
some of the harder
stuff that's marketed
480
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:38,240
for adults only.
481
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,509
Like maybe... Peppa
Pig Peppermint.
482
00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:42,778
That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.
483
00:21:42,878 --> 00:21:46,616
Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.
484
00:21:46,716 --> 00:21:48,756
All right, look, just...
How much for the whole bag?
485
00:21:48,818 --> 00:21:50,886
You want my whole bag of Cred?
486
00:21:50,986 --> 00:21:52,187
I want you to supply me
487
00:21:52,287 --> 00:21:54,289
with every bottle of
Cred you can find.
488
00:21:54,389 --> 00:21:57,426
I have to have more
subscribers than my wife.
489
00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:10,606
Eric, sweetie, are you
feeling any better?
490
00:22:11,674 --> 00:22:14,043
No, Mom, I'm dying.
491
00:22:14,143 --> 00:22:16,646
I've been completely
discredited.
492
00:22:17,412 --> 00:22:21,383
Eric, everything is going to
be okay at school tomorrow.
493
00:22:21,483 --> 00:22:22,985
It's too late.
494
00:22:23,085 --> 00:22:24,763
I've already stepped down
as founder and chairman
495
00:22:24,787 --> 00:22:26,221
of my own affinity group.
496
00:22:26,321 --> 00:22:28,958
You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.
497
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,862
I'm choosing to step down
498
00:22:32,962 --> 00:22:35,965
before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.
499
00:22:36,065 --> 00:22:38,167
Well, you need to sit
up for just a minute.
500
00:22:38,267 --> 00:22:40,135
Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.
501
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:42,872
Clyde? No, no, no, no,
no. Do not let... Mom!
502
00:22:42,972 --> 00:22:44,974
Do not let Clyde in
my... Aw, goddamn it.
503
00:22:45,074 --> 00:22:46,608
What do you guys want?
504
00:22:46,709 --> 00:22:49,311
Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.
505
00:22:50,112 --> 00:22:52,648
Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.
506
00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:54,283
Will you just listen?
507
00:22:54,383 --> 00:22:56,583
My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotion
508
00:22:56,652 --> 00:22:57,787
at a CVS in Pueblo.
509
00:22:57,887 --> 00:22:59,188
A promotion, great.
510
00:22:59,288 --> 00:23:00,766
They're gonna sell a
very limited quantity
511
00:23:00,790 --> 00:23:03,092
of an all-new Cred that
nobody's even tried yet.
512
00:23:03,192 --> 00:23:05,094
So we could
ditch school,
513
00:23:05,194 --> 00:23:06,528
find a way to get to Pueblo
514
00:23:06,628 --> 00:23:08,506
and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.
515
00:23:08,530 --> 00:23:10,032
We'd have our Cred back.
516
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:12,902
We followed Clyde
before, you guys,
517
00:23:13,002 --> 00:23:14,704
and it cost us everything.
518
00:23:14,804 --> 00:23:16,271
Look, 50 cases of Cred,
519
00:23:16,371 --> 00:23:18,207
only available
tomorrow 200 miles away
520
00:23:18,307 --> 00:23:20,109
and then not available
for another six months.
521
00:23:20,209 --> 00:23:21,610
It's called Mega Cred.
522
00:23:25,014 --> 00:23:26,515
All right, you son of a bitch.
523
00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:29,618
Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.
524
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:36,291
Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.
525
00:23:36,391 --> 00:23:37,871
In this video, I'm
gonna be trying out
526
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,529
six different flavors of
the newest sports drink.
527
00:23:40,629 --> 00:23:43,398
As you can see, I've got lots
of Cred. Do you like Cred?
528
00:23:43,498 --> 00:23:44,867
If so, leave a
comment down below,
529
00:23:44,967 --> 00:23:46,568
and maybe smash
that like button.
530
00:23:46,668 --> 00:23:48,503
Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.
531
00:23:48,603 --> 00:23:50,239
I guess it's pretty
popular.
532
00:23:50,339 --> 00:23:52,942
Smells okay. Let's
see how good it is.
533
00:23:54,944 --> 00:23:56,578
Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.
534
00:23:56,678 --> 00:23:57,913
That one's kind of fizzy.
535
00:23:58,013 --> 00:23:59,915
K-Kind of fizzy, but
more on the penis
536
00:24:00,015 --> 00:24:01,283
than it is on them balls.
537
00:24:01,383 --> 00:24:02,785
Yeah, this is really nice.
538
00:24:02,885 --> 00:24:04,553
Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.
539
00:24:04,653 --> 00:24:06,521
Yeah, looks delicious. Oishii.
540
00:24:06,621 --> 00:24:09,058
Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.
541
00:24:09,158 --> 00:24:10,359
Really helps the channel out.
542
00:24:10,459 --> 00:24:12,161
Let's move on to
another flavor now.
543
00:24:12,261 --> 00:24:14,096
This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.
544
00:24:14,196 --> 00:24:15,497
Let's see how it tastes.
545
00:24:15,597 --> 00:24:18,333
Ooh. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
that's a good one.
546
00:24:21,771 --> 00:24:23,172
Oh?
547
00:24:23,973 --> 00:24:24,974
Oh, my God!
548
00:24:25,074 --> 00:24:26,408
Hey, Sharon!
549
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,443
Sharon, you got to see this!
550
00:24:31,246 --> 00:24:32,815
Oh, there you are, Sharon.
551
00:24:32,915 --> 00:24:35,885
Been out shopping with all the
money you made on OnlyFans?
552
00:24:35,985 --> 00:24:38,220
I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.
553
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,389
Oh, ho! Yeah, I don't
think so, Sharon.
554
00:24:40,489 --> 00:24:43,458
I just had a video on
TikTok with 1,000 views
555
00:24:43,558 --> 00:24:45,995
and a video on Meta with 2,000!
556
00:24:46,095 --> 00:24:49,331
That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.
557
00:24:49,431 --> 00:24:52,467
You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!
558
00:24:53,235 --> 00:24:55,337
What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?
559
00:24:55,437 --> 00:24:57,272
Oh, that's just a
little trend jumping.
560
00:24:57,372 --> 00:25:00,442
Randy, you know who drinks
Cred, right? Children!
561
00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:02,444
No, it's not even
suitable for children.
562
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:04,413
Okay, this has to stop, Randy.
563
00:25:04,513 --> 00:25:07,682
The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!
564
00:25:07,783 --> 00:25:10,152
That's not what the
data shows, Sharon.
565
00:25:10,252 --> 00:25:11,520
According to Meta and TikTok,
566
00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:13,155
their audience is
predominately people
567
00:25:13,255 --> 00:25:14,523
over the age of 22.
568
00:25:14,623 --> 00:25:16,625
That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,
569
00:25:16,725 --> 00:25:19,661
it's adults who
want to see my dick.
570
00:25:20,429 --> 00:25:23,232
Randy, please. Let's
just call it a tie, okay?
571
00:25:23,332 --> 00:25:25,434
Oh, I bet you'd love that now.
572
00:25:25,534 --> 00:25:29,271
Now that my OnlyFans is about
to be bigger than yours.
573
00:25:29,371 --> 00:25:32,141
I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!
574
00:25:39,748 --> 00:25:41,226
Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doing
575
00:25:41,250 --> 00:25:43,085
a two-bottle max per person.
576
00:25:43,185 --> 00:25:45,955
O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.
577
00:25:46,055 --> 00:25:47,990
- Is that enough Cred?
- Oh, my God.
578
00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:49,291
No!
579
00:25:49,391 --> 00:25:51,360
We want
Cred! We want Cred!
580
00:25:51,460 --> 00:25:54,930
We want Cred! We want Cred!
581
00:25:55,030 --> 00:25:56,698
Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.
582
00:25:56,798 --> 00:25:58,376
Don't these losers have
anything better to do
583
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,801
than fight over a shitty drink?
584
00:25:59,902 --> 00:26:01,622
Come on, we gotta make
our way to the front.
585
00:26:01,703 --> 00:26:05,007
Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in Pueblo
586
00:26:05,107 --> 00:26:08,410
where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.
587
00:26:08,510 --> 00:26:10,245
The fake sugar hydration drink
588
00:26:10,345 --> 00:26:12,514
is considered not
suitable for children
589
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,416
and yet kids are
literally fighting
590
00:26:14,516 --> 00:26:17,019
to get their hands on
this limited edition.
591
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,822
I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.
592
00:26:20,923 --> 00:26:24,159
Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.
593
00:26:24,259 --> 00:26:25,794
Dude, this is fucking crazy!
594
00:26:25,895 --> 00:26:28,097
There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!
595
00:26:28,197 --> 00:26:31,000
Oh, my God. No. No!
596
00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:32,801
It's fucking Spencer Hollis.
597
00:26:32,902 --> 00:26:34,870
Hey, stop pushing, kid.
598
00:26:34,970 --> 00:26:37,106
What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?
599
00:26:37,206 --> 00:26:38,716
He fucking ditched
school to come get Cred
600
00:26:38,740 --> 00:26:41,143
and he doesn't even like
it! He's a fucking poser!
601
00:26:41,243 --> 00:26:45,881
We want Cred! We want
Cred! We want Cred!
602
00:26:45,981 --> 00:26:48,283
The delivery truck!
603
00:26:52,587 --> 00:26:53,588
Ah!
604
00:26:53,688 --> 00:26:55,290
- Ah! Get away!
- Give me Cred!
605
00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:58,093
You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!
606
00:26:58,193 --> 00:26:59,895
Cred! Give me the Cred!
607
00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:01,296
I got to have Cred!
608
00:27:01,396 --> 00:27:04,900
We want Cred! We want Cred!
609
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,402
Okay, go, go, go!
610
00:27:08,303 --> 00:27:09,614
Okay, okay, it's
here, you bastards.
611
00:27:09,638 --> 00:27:11,073
- Come in and... Ah!
- I was here...
612
00:27:11,173 --> 00:27:13,575
Tweek's not gonna
make it, you guys.
613
00:27:15,210 --> 00:27:18,247
- Where is it?
- Where's the Cred?
614
00:27:20,315 --> 00:27:21,783
It's over there!
615
00:27:21,883 --> 00:27:23,152
Give me Cred!
616
00:27:23,252 --> 00:27:25,820
Me first! Me first!
617
00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:29,458
Give me the Cred!
618
00:27:31,893 --> 00:27:33,328
Ah! Ah!
619
00:27:33,428 --> 00:27:36,098
There's some, right there! Ah!
620
00:27:36,198 --> 00:27:38,367
It's gone! It's all gone!
621
00:27:43,272 --> 00:27:44,940
Mom!
622
00:27:45,975 --> 00:27:47,042
Spencer?
623
00:27:47,142 --> 00:27:49,611
Start the car! Start the car!
624
00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:51,413
Jesus Christ!
625
00:27:51,513 --> 00:27:53,548
Start the fucking car, Mom!
626
00:27:53,648 --> 00:27:55,784
Spencer's getting
away with the Cred!
627
00:27:59,821 --> 00:28:01,856
No!
628
00:28:02,657 --> 00:28:05,694
Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.
629
00:28:05,794 --> 00:28:08,697
It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.
630
00:28:08,797 --> 00:28:09,999
Yeah, thanks.
631
00:28:10,099 --> 00:28:11,676
But you see, what I'm
trying to learn now
632
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:13,535
is how to take all
the views I'm getting
633
00:28:13,635 --> 00:28:15,904
on like Instagram and
stuff and use them
634
00:28:16,005 --> 00:28:17,439
to make myself bigger.
635
00:28:17,539 --> 00:28:19,274
Well, we can help you with that.
636
00:28:19,374 --> 00:28:20,451
You know, to really succeed,
637
00:28:20,475 --> 00:28:21,876
you gotta ask yourself:
638
00:28:21,977 --> 00:28:25,014
What is it that you want to
achieve as an influencer?
639
00:28:25,114 --> 00:28:27,849
Well, what I really want to do
640
00:28:27,949 --> 00:28:29,684
is beat my wife.
641
00:28:32,654 --> 00:28:34,189
You want to beat your wife?
642
00:28:34,289 --> 00:28:36,058
I mean, don't we all?
643
00:28:36,158 --> 00:28:37,459
I-I don't understand,
644
00:28:37,559 --> 00:28:39,995
you want to beat your
wife on Instagram?
645
00:28:40,095 --> 00:28:41,396
I want to beat her on Instagram,
646
00:28:41,496 --> 00:28:42,998
I want to beat her on TikTok,
647
00:28:43,098 --> 00:28:45,867
but mostly I want to beat the
shit out of her on OnlyFans
648
00:28:45,967 --> 00:28:47,602
and make a lot of
money doing it.
649
00:28:47,702 --> 00:28:50,672
Hmm. Okay, well, if you
can get the kids to watch
650
00:28:50,772 --> 00:28:52,441
then we can find you a sponsor.
651
00:28:52,541 --> 00:28:54,876
Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.
652
00:28:54,976 --> 00:28:56,811
Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my content
653
00:28:56,911 --> 00:28:59,081
actually isn't
suitable for children.
654
00:28:59,181 --> 00:29:01,083
Right. I mean, the data shows
655
00:29:01,183 --> 00:29:03,852
kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?
656
00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:06,721
- Right.
- Right.
657
00:29:06,821 --> 00:29:09,891
Mr. Marsh, the thing is, a
sponsor not only gets you cash
658
00:29:09,991 --> 00:29:12,527
but they also help you
push that algorithm
659
00:29:12,627 --> 00:29:14,863
so that their message
is heard through you.
660
00:29:14,963 --> 00:29:16,331
Oh, really?
661
00:29:16,431 --> 00:29:18,009
Yeah, there's gonna
be a lot of companies
662
00:29:18,033 --> 00:29:20,769
that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."
663
00:29:20,869 --> 00:29:22,771
But what we want to do
is get these sponsors
664
00:29:22,871 --> 00:29:24,906
to bid against each
other for your audience.
665
00:29:25,006 --> 00:29:27,209
That's when you become
a big influencer.
666
00:29:27,309 --> 00:29:30,212
And then you can beat your
wife as much as you want.
667
00:29:30,312 --> 00:29:32,647
Wow.
668
00:30:21,930 --> 00:30:23,031
There's nothing.
669
00:30:23,132 --> 00:30:24,666
Just two more
broken Cred bottles.
670
00:30:24,766 --> 00:30:27,336
And a couple of
cans of SpaghettiOs.
671
00:30:32,241 --> 00:30:34,042
I don't think I can go back.
672
00:30:34,143 --> 00:30:35,910
Go back to what?
673
00:30:36,010 --> 00:30:38,079
Spencer Hollis has
all the Cred now.
674
00:30:38,180 --> 00:30:40,515
Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity group
675
00:30:40,615 --> 00:30:42,517
and not let any of us in.
676
00:30:42,617 --> 00:30:45,487
Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?
677
00:30:45,587 --> 00:30:47,889
Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.
678
00:30:47,989 --> 00:30:50,024
No, I mean what
they're doing to us.
679
00:30:50,125 --> 00:30:53,027
Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.
680
00:30:53,128 --> 00:30:54,839
He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.
681
00:30:54,863 --> 00:30:56,507
It's like... It's like
they wanted to create
682
00:30:56,531 --> 00:30:59,568
this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.
683
00:30:59,668 --> 00:31:02,304
If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.
684
00:31:02,404 --> 00:31:05,507
You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.
685
00:31:05,607 --> 00:31:07,447
If kids are willing to
fight and die over this,
686
00:31:07,509 --> 00:31:09,787
then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?
687
00:31:09,811 --> 00:31:11,913
Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinks
688
00:31:12,013 --> 00:31:13,282
three weeks ago.
689
00:31:13,382 --> 00:31:15,784
My influencer convinced
me to come down here.
690
00:31:15,884 --> 00:31:18,320
What else is he
convincing me to do?
691
00:31:18,420 --> 00:31:21,022
So, maybe if we find
your influencer,
692
00:31:21,122 --> 00:31:22,257
then he can give us Cred?
693
00:31:22,357 --> 00:31:23,525
No!
694
00:31:23,625 --> 00:31:25,494
No, no, no. I like
your angle, Clyde.
695
00:31:25,594 --> 00:31:27,162
Maybe this whole
thing is a sham.
696
00:31:27,262 --> 00:31:29,097
If we can make the
whole thing look stupid,
697
00:31:29,198 --> 00:31:30,975
then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.
698
00:31:30,999 --> 00:31:33,144
Then Spencer Hollis will have
nothing to keep us out of.
699
00:31:33,168 --> 00:31:35,737
I just know there's more
to all this than we think.
700
00:31:35,837 --> 00:31:37,839
I know what town my
influencer lives in.
701
00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:39,941
I want some goddamn answers.
702
00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:41,376
Tweek, Butters,
703
00:31:41,476 --> 00:31:43,053
gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.
704
00:31:43,077 --> 00:31:46,147
We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.
705
00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:55,724
Can I help you?
706
00:31:55,824 --> 00:31:57,626
Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?
707
00:31:57,726 --> 00:32:00,629
My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?
708
00:32:00,729 --> 00:32:03,532
- Name.
- Uh, Randy Marsh?
709
00:32:03,632 --> 00:32:05,312
It's with five Rs
because there was already
710
00:32:05,367 --> 00:32:07,536
a Randy Marsh on TikTok.
711
00:32:07,636 --> 00:32:09,214
Put this around your
neck. Through that door
712
00:32:09,238 --> 00:32:11,039
and wait with the
other influencers.
713
00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:12,607
Oh, okay, thanks.
714
00:32:16,010 --> 00:32:17,912
Okay, influencers, follow me,
715
00:32:18,012 --> 00:32:19,781
stand in a straight
line and step forward
716
00:32:19,881 --> 00:32:21,883
when your number is called.
717
00:32:26,955 --> 00:32:28,423
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
718
00:32:28,523 --> 00:32:30,563
We have some incredible
influencers available today.
719
00:32:30,625 --> 00:32:32,594
They are all
complete freelancers
720
00:32:32,694 --> 00:32:34,596
and looking for sponsors.
721
00:32:34,696 --> 00:32:38,099
First off, we have
influencer number 394
722
00:32:38,199 --> 00:32:39,568
This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.
723
00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,603
She has over 10,000
views on Instagram,
724
00:32:41,703 --> 00:32:43,472
6,800 on TikTok
725
00:32:43,572 --> 00:32:45,407
and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.
726
00:32:45,507 --> 00:32:46,984
Who would like to
own this influencer?
727
00:32:47,008 --> 00:32:49,177
We'll start the bidding
at 20. 20, do I hear 20?
728
00:32:49,278 --> 00:32:50,779
There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?
729
00:32:50,879 --> 00:32:54,249
Let's hear 25, 25,
30.
730
00:32:54,349 --> 00:32:55,717
25 from Mattel Toys.
731
00:32:55,817 --> 00:32:57,686
Mattel Toys now the
highest bidder at 25.
732
00:32:57,786 --> 00:33:01,956
25, who's gonna go for
30? 30, 30.
733
00:33:02,056 --> 00:33:04,058
30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.
734
00:33:04,158 --> 00:33:05,560
50 now, who wants
the influencer?
735
00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:08,062
- 50, 50.
- 100!
736
00:33:08,162 --> 00:33:11,566
100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?
737
00:33:11,666 --> 00:33:13,935
150?
738
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:15,804
150, 150, yes!
739
00:33:15,904 --> 00:33:17,572
Stoli Vodka at 150.
740
00:33:17,672 --> 00:33:19,240
150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.
741
00:33:19,341 --> 00:33:20,642
What about you, Build-A-Bear?
742
00:33:20,742 --> 00:33:24,145
Do we hear from
Build-A-Bear?
743
00:33:24,245 --> 00:33:27,616
160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.
744
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:29,951
Who wants to influence
the youngins more?
745
00:33:31,786 --> 00:33:33,688
170 from Voices for Ukraine.
746
00:33:33,788 --> 00:33:35,490
Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.
747
00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:37,659
No? Chinese government? No?
748
00:33:37,759 --> 00:33:40,862
Sold to Voices for
Ukraine. Thank you.
749
00:33:40,962 --> 00:33:43,632
I don't understand
what happened.
750
00:33:43,732 --> 00:33:45,009
Just keep making
your stupid videos,
751
00:33:45,033 --> 00:33:46,368
they'll tell you what to say.
752
00:33:46,468 --> 00:33:49,304
Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.
753
00:33:49,404 --> 00:33:52,140
This is Kevinlovesoranges.
754
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,577
Over six million views on
TikTok, 4,600 on Instagram
755
00:33:55,677 --> 00:33:57,446
and a small following
on X and Meta.
756
00:33:57,546 --> 00:34:00,248
Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?
757
00:34:00,349 --> 00:34:03,151
We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.
758
00:34:03,251 --> 00:34:06,521
Who's gonna go 50? Russia
with 50.
759
00:34:06,621 --> 00:34:08,890
55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.
760
00:34:08,990 --> 00:34:10,659
60.
Kellogg's Cereal.
761
00:34:10,759 --> 00:34:12,060
Ravenclaw Casinos.
762
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:13,562
Influence
the children.
763
00:34:13,662 --> 00:34:15,964
Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.
764
00:34:17,366 --> 00:34:20,268
Sold to the Canadian
government, congratulations.
765
00:34:20,369 --> 00:34:23,104
Our next influencer, number 427.
766
00:34:23,204 --> 00:34:25,474
This is Randy Marrrrrsh.
767
00:34:25,574 --> 00:34:28,443
We'll start the bidding at
50. 50, do I hear 50? 50?
768
00:34:33,948 --> 00:34:36,150
50? No? Come on, Mattel
Toys. Let's hear from you.
769
00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:37,952
How about 40? 40?
770
00:34:38,052 --> 00:34:39,287
How about 40, let's do 40?
771
00:34:44,759 --> 00:34:46,861
Freeze!
Nobody move!
772
00:34:53,635 --> 00:34:54,536
Up here! He's up here!
773
00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:56,705
Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?
774
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:58,707
- Yeah?
- All right, we got him.
775
00:34:58,807 --> 00:34:59,908
Hands behind your back.
776
00:35:00,008 --> 00:35:01,576
Me? I didn't do anything.
777
00:35:01,676 --> 00:35:03,912
I'm just trying to
beat my wife.
778
00:35:04,012 --> 00:35:07,181
On your knees! Hands
behind your back now!
779
00:35:10,819 --> 00:35:13,121
Hello? Logan LaDouche?
780
00:35:13,221 --> 00:35:16,391
Hello? We know you're in there.
781
00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:21,663
Go away. I'm in enough
trouble as it is.
782
00:35:21,763 --> 00:35:23,598
Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?
783
00:35:23,698 --> 00:35:25,567
No, not okay. I'm in hiding.
784
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:27,168
How did you guys find me?
785
00:35:27,268 --> 00:35:29,046
Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably post
786
00:35:29,070 --> 00:35:31,172
videos of yourself at the
motel you're hiding in.
787
00:35:31,272 --> 00:35:34,943
Shit. Shit, I just
can't help myself.
788
00:35:38,146 --> 00:35:40,849
Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.
789
00:35:40,949 --> 00:35:44,285
I'm sorry, okay? I didn't
mean to cause a riot.
790
00:35:44,385 --> 00:35:46,521
Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?
791
00:35:47,422 --> 00:35:50,692
If you found me, then
so can they. Just go.
792
00:35:50,792 --> 00:35:52,727
Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,
793
00:35:52,827 --> 00:35:54,963
we'll leave.
794
00:35:55,063 --> 00:35:57,599
- Yeah.
- What the fuck are you doing?
795
00:35:57,699 --> 00:35:59,400
Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?
796
00:35:59,501 --> 00:36:00,835
Butters, Butters, calm down.
797
00:36:00,935 --> 00:36:02,471
They're gonna take me out, man.
798
00:36:02,571 --> 00:36:05,306
I should just turn myself
in. I'll be safer in jail.
799
00:36:05,406 --> 00:36:07,476
Listen, dude, I went to
Pueblo 'cause of you.
800
00:36:07,576 --> 00:36:09,216
Why did you tell us
we could get Mega Cred
801
00:36:09,277 --> 00:36:10,745
when you knew there
wasn't enough?
802
00:36:10,845 --> 00:36:12,881
Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.
803
00:36:12,981 --> 00:36:14,415
Don't you get it, man?
804
00:36:14,516 --> 00:36:17,151
I'm just this tiny little
piece of a very big lie.
805
00:36:17,251 --> 00:36:19,253
You guys are all
being manipulated.
806
00:36:19,353 --> 00:36:21,456
I trusted you. I've
watched all your videos,
807
00:36:21,556 --> 00:36:23,725
and you told me to be
strong and never give up.
808
00:36:23,825 --> 00:36:25,694
That's all just Cred
messing with me?
809
00:36:25,794 --> 00:36:28,196
Don't you get it? I
don't work for Cred.
810
00:36:28,296 --> 00:36:30,799
The Cred is just there
to get views, man.
811
00:36:30,899 --> 00:36:32,467
'Cause kids love it so much.
812
00:36:32,567 --> 00:36:35,403
But if Cred isn't your
sponsor, then-then who is?
813
00:36:35,504 --> 00:36:39,040
If you knew, it
would make you sick.
814
00:36:40,008 --> 00:36:42,611
They just use you and
Cred to get to us,
815
00:36:42,711 --> 00:36:44,278
and those higher-up people
816
00:36:44,378 --> 00:36:46,147
can get us some
limited-edition Cred?
817
00:36:46,247 --> 00:36:49,183
- Who has the Cred?
- Butters, Jesus.
818
00:36:53,822 --> 00:36:55,590
Oh, there-there she is.
819
00:36:55,690 --> 00:36:57,325
Hey, Sharon.
820
00:36:57,425 --> 00:36:58,893
This is my wife, Sharon.
821
00:36:58,993 --> 00:37:01,129
She's an OnlyFans
model just like me.
822
00:37:01,229 --> 00:37:04,065
We are both legally
supplementing our income.
823
00:37:04,165 --> 00:37:06,434
So you work with
your husband, ma'am?
824
00:37:06,535 --> 00:37:09,103
No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.
825
00:37:09,203 --> 00:37:11,105
I could never do what he does.
826
00:37:11,205 --> 00:37:13,283
Thanks, honey, it's nice
for you to finally admit it.
827
00:37:13,307 --> 00:37:15,877
Now I'd like to know what
I'm being detained for.
828
00:37:15,977 --> 00:37:17,746
Exposing children
to pornography,
829
00:37:17,846 --> 00:37:19,447
soliciting nude
images to a minor,
830
00:37:19,548 --> 00:37:20,782
child endangerment...
831
00:37:20,882 --> 00:37:22,551
Oh, come on, like it's just me?
832
00:37:22,651 --> 00:37:24,118
Everybody's doing it.
833
00:37:24,218 --> 00:37:26,387
There's an entire network
where everyone just pretends
834
00:37:26,487 --> 00:37:28,256
Internet platforms
aren't made for children
835
00:37:28,356 --> 00:37:31,425
but they all auction our
kids to the highest bidder.
836
00:37:32,460 --> 00:37:36,030
You seem like some kind
of influencer expert.
837
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:38,199
Would you say these
things on record?
838
00:37:38,299 --> 00:37:40,101
No, 'cause I'm a
sovereign citizen,
839
00:37:40,201 --> 00:37:42,737
and I don't need to tell you
anything.
840
00:37:42,837 --> 00:37:45,874
- Randy, you need to cooperate.
- Why?
841
00:37:45,974 --> 00:37:48,242
I'll tell you why, scumbag.
842
00:37:48,342 --> 00:37:50,712
Your posts drew in
a lot of children,
843
00:37:50,812 --> 00:37:52,681
and they like to
copy what they see.
844
00:37:52,781 --> 00:37:56,551
So then kids started creating
their own erotic content
845
00:37:56,651 --> 00:37:58,486
based on yours.
846
00:38:00,655 --> 00:38:02,356
- What?
- That's right.
847
00:38:02,456 --> 00:38:05,226
We've just found
sexuality explicit,
848
00:38:05,326 --> 00:38:08,462
pornographic images of minors.
849
00:38:08,563 --> 00:38:11,165
I warn you, what
you are about to see
850
00:38:11,265 --> 00:38:14,636
is extremely
disturbing and graphic.
851
00:38:26,581 --> 00:38:29,718
Oh, God. Ugh.
852
00:38:29,818 --> 00:38:31,285
Oh, don't close your eyes now.
853
00:38:31,385 --> 00:38:34,455
You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?
854
00:38:45,033 --> 00:38:48,136
What have I done? I had no idea.
855
00:38:48,236 --> 00:38:51,305
Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.
856
00:38:51,405 --> 00:38:53,942
Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...
857
00:38:54,042 --> 00:38:56,144
pornographic images of miners.
858
00:38:56,244 --> 00:38:58,146
God, it's disgusting.
859
00:38:58,246 --> 00:39:01,182
Being an influencer
is disgusting.
860
00:39:01,282 --> 00:39:03,718
All right, I'm gonna tell
you everything I know
861
00:39:03,818 --> 00:39:05,754
about how the system works.
862
00:39:05,854 --> 00:39:07,455
This has to stop.
863
00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:09,658
Hey, what's up, guys?
864
00:39:09,758 --> 00:39:11,335
Just wanted to let you
all know that I think
865
00:39:11,359 --> 00:39:12,803
maybe I'm gonna get
killed or arrested,
866
00:39:12,827 --> 00:39:14,663
so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.
867
00:39:14,763 --> 00:39:17,298
Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.
868
00:39:17,398 --> 00:39:19,167
Dude, will you
stop making videos?
869
00:39:19,267 --> 00:39:21,202
I don't know what
else to do, okay?
870
00:39:21,302 --> 00:39:23,938
All I've ever done is
make fucking videos.
871
00:39:24,038 --> 00:39:25,807
But for who? You said
it wasn't for Cred,
872
00:39:25,907 --> 00:39:27,341
so then who sponsors you?
873
00:39:27,441 --> 00:39:29,443
I just wanted
to be a big influencer.
874
00:39:29,543 --> 00:39:31,780
So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned off
875
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:33,381
to the highest bidder.
876
00:39:33,481 --> 00:39:36,350
People will pay anything to
push their agenda on you guys.
877
00:39:36,450 --> 00:39:38,696
What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?
878
00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:41,522
I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.
879
00:39:41,622 --> 00:39:44,125
I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companies
880
00:39:44,225 --> 00:39:46,527
that run the whole system
will have me killed.
881
00:39:46,627 --> 00:39:48,562
We deserve to know who's
been manipulating us.
882
00:39:48,663 --> 00:39:52,000
Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?
883
00:39:52,801 --> 00:39:54,302
You promise?
884
00:39:54,402 --> 00:39:56,705
Yes, we promise.
885
00:39:56,805 --> 00:39:58,406
Fine.
886
00:39:58,506 --> 00:40:01,175
The truth is, I'm
being paid by...
887
00:40:03,611 --> 00:40:05,346
Whoops!
888
00:40:08,049 --> 00:40:09,617
Okay, okay.
889
00:40:09,718 --> 00:40:12,320
We don't care who's
trying to influence us!
890
00:40:18,326 --> 00:40:19,593
The game is up, scumbag.
891
00:40:19,694 --> 00:40:22,230
We know about the
whole operation.
892
00:40:24,665 --> 00:40:26,367
We know everything.
893
00:40:26,467 --> 00:40:29,070
The influencers are being
paid by organizations
894
00:40:29,170 --> 00:40:32,273
to knowingly influence children.
895
00:40:33,975 --> 00:40:35,786
The data shows that consumers
896
00:40:35,810 --> 00:40:40,048
of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.
897
00:40:40,148 --> 00:40:41,515
Oh, come on.
898
00:40:41,615 --> 00:40:43,617
Within tech companies,
it's an open secret
899
00:40:43,718 --> 00:40:47,856
that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.
900
00:40:47,956 --> 00:40:50,158
Tech companies
are working diligently
901
00:40:50,258 --> 00:40:52,460
to find ways to make the
Internet safer for children,
902
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,095
but these methods
are often criticized
903
00:40:54,195 --> 00:40:56,297
for violating free speech.
904
00:40:56,397 --> 00:40:59,968
Okay, and tech companies
use those assertions
905
00:41:00,068 --> 00:41:04,138
and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in court
906
00:41:04,238 --> 00:41:08,142
so they can continue to
profit off of our kids.
907
00:41:10,244 --> 00:41:14,148
Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.
908
00:41:20,822 --> 00:41:24,425
He's still alive. Let's
get City General out here.
909
00:41:27,661 --> 00:41:31,299
Who do you work for? Who's
trying to influence me?
910
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,574
He's just the middleman, kids.
911
00:41:40,674 --> 00:41:44,512
Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.
912
00:41:58,492 --> 00:42:00,761
Hey, fellas, I got an idea.
913
00:42:00,862 --> 00:42:03,231
How about we just keep
our affinity group,
914
00:42:03,331 --> 00:42:04,799
but instead of it
being about Cred,
915
00:42:04,899 --> 00:42:07,902
it's just about how proud
we are of who we are.
916
00:42:08,002 --> 00:42:10,314
No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.
917
00:42:10,338 --> 00:42:11,681
White people can't be
in groups talking about
918
00:42:11,705 --> 00:42:13,674
how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.
919
00:42:13,774 --> 00:42:15,076
Dang it.
920
00:42:15,176 --> 00:42:16,945
Well, then, I guess
we just got to accept
921
00:42:17,045 --> 00:42:18,679
that we're gonna go
to school tomorrow
922
00:42:18,779 --> 00:42:20,548
and get totally boned.
923
00:42:20,648 --> 00:42:21,883
Yep.
924
00:42:23,417 --> 00:42:26,587
Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.
925
00:42:32,460 --> 00:42:35,696
Mr. Marsh? What are you
doing with all that Cred?
926
00:42:35,796 --> 00:42:39,500
I'm putting it where it
belongs, in the garbage.
927
00:42:41,402 --> 00:42:43,402
But that's, like, Jelly
Roll Midnight Waffle House.
928
00:42:43,437 --> 00:42:45,206
Do you know what that's worth?
929
00:42:45,306 --> 00:42:46,674
Yeah, I know what it's worth.
930
00:42:46,774 --> 00:42:48,776
It's worth gold to all
the people in the world
931
00:42:48,877 --> 00:42:51,712
who want to use social
media to influence children.
932
00:42:51,812 --> 00:42:54,382
But there's more to
life than making money.
933
00:42:54,482 --> 00:42:57,919
And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.
934
00:42:58,019 --> 00:42:59,653
The bottom line is that
935
00:42:59,753 --> 00:43:02,356
all this social media
influencer garbage
936
00:43:02,456 --> 00:43:05,026
is not suitable for children.
937
00:43:05,126 --> 00:43:07,128
And if you're a kid
on social media,
938
00:43:07,228 --> 00:43:11,032
you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.
939
00:43:11,132 --> 00:43:13,467
All you have to do
is ask yourself,
940
00:43:13,567 --> 00:43:17,505
"Who is it that wants to
influence me the most?"
941
00:43:21,042 --> 00:43:23,511
Holy shit.
942
00:43:26,714 --> 00:43:29,150
Janice!
943
00:43:30,718 --> 00:43:33,821
Oh, Clyde, where have you
been? We've been worried sick.
944
00:43:33,922 --> 00:43:35,957
It was you, this whole time.
945
00:43:36,057 --> 00:43:38,459
You've been trying to
influence me for months.
946
00:43:38,559 --> 00:43:40,028
Clyde, you really should have
947
00:43:40,128 --> 00:43:41,605
let your father know
where you were...
948
00:43:41,629 --> 00:43:43,764
You've been paying an
influencer to try and reach me,
949
00:43:43,864 --> 00:43:45,833
and you caused this
whole fucking mess!
950
00:43:45,934 --> 00:43:48,302
What is this about, Janice?
951
00:43:48,402 --> 00:43:52,706
I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.
952
00:43:53,942 --> 00:43:55,743
You want to try and
teach your kids,
953
00:43:55,843 --> 00:43:59,313
but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."
954
00:44:00,481 --> 00:44:03,551
I just wanted to be a good
influence on you, Clyde.
955
00:44:03,651 --> 00:44:05,386
But influencing kids these days
956
00:44:05,486 --> 00:44:09,290
requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.
957
00:44:10,158 --> 00:44:12,193
But why Cred? If
you're so against it,
958
00:44:12,293 --> 00:44:13,827
then why have it in
all those videos?
959
00:44:13,928 --> 00:44:16,430
That was just to get
your views, Clyde.
960
00:44:16,530 --> 00:44:19,900
Your views are so
important to me,
961
00:44:20,001 --> 00:44:21,735
because we never talk.
962
00:44:21,835 --> 00:44:24,338
Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,
963
00:44:24,438 --> 00:44:26,207
but look at us.
964
00:44:26,307 --> 00:44:28,943
Here we are, talking.
965
00:44:31,712 --> 00:44:34,215
Janice, can I call you "Mom"?
966
00:44:34,315 --> 00:44:36,384
Yes, of course.
967
00:44:36,484 --> 00:44:38,586
Fuck you, Mom!
968
00:44:41,455 --> 00:44:43,657
Oh...
969
00:44:47,528 --> 00:44:49,964
Whoa, Spencer, is
that Mega Cred?
970
00:44:50,064 --> 00:44:51,465
Yeah, pretty cool, right?
971
00:44:51,565 --> 00:44:53,501
"Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?
972
00:44:53,601 --> 00:44:56,004
Oh, I just went to this
thing in Pueblo. No big deal.
973
00:44:56,104 --> 00:44:59,340
Everyone! Everyone, can I
have your attention, please?
974
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:01,575
We have something really
important to tell you guys.
975
00:45:01,675 --> 00:45:03,111
Tweek and Butters
and I have learned
976
00:45:03,211 --> 00:45:04,678
a lot of things recently.
977
00:45:04,778 --> 00:45:07,281
We have news that you
will all find shocking.
978
00:45:07,381 --> 00:45:09,283
You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,
979
00:45:09,383 --> 00:45:11,519
and he gave us four bottles
980
00:45:11,619 --> 00:45:14,088
of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.
981
00:45:15,623 --> 00:45:17,401
No, no, no. Back up.
982
00:45:17,425 --> 00:45:19,760
This is for the Cred
affinity group only.
983
00:45:19,860 --> 00:45:22,430
- You can look at our Cred, but don't touch.
- All right!
984
00:45:22,530 --> 00:45:24,965
Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.
985
00:45:25,066 --> 00:45:26,700
Say, Clyde, you, uh,
986
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,702
forgot your super
special Jelly Roll Cred
987
00:45:28,802 --> 00:45:30,738
at the group meeting, remember?
988
00:45:38,412 --> 00:45:40,248
It tastes amazing.
989
00:45:40,348 --> 00:45:41,482
All right!
990
00:45:41,582 --> 00:45:43,884
Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!
76029
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