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Out of the carhaut shot right now. What do
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you think you're doing? What's going on?
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Oh, we're just listening to music. Right,
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right. I know where that leads. A little
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spin doctor, some Zima, the next thing you
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know, you got a crazy chick tracking you
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down on a football field holding a stick
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that she peed on. Baines, stop. I'm not
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Kate and Jones. It isn't you. What are we
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talking about? This. I found this on the
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floor right where Romeo was standing.
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Bas. That's not mine. No, no, no, no, no,
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no, no. It's Mr. Basil. Now. Wait, can we
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just drop this? Drop this? No, he. And
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it's a good thing. Otherwise I would have
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known that you were trying to sweet talk
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me and devirginize my kid. There was no
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devirginizing, okay? That speech that you
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and Abby gave me. A little too late. It
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was speech. Why? Why. Why are we talking
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about my sister? You're not a virgin. I
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had a boyfriend named Bug that I was going
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to live with. Okay, why are we talking
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about virgins and Abby and sex? This guy
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right here, it's not his condom bugs
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back. Okay,
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that's bugs.
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I'm gonna.
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Okay, when. When was this? Today.
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Right before that stupid sex talk with
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Abby where she ruined everything. Will
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somebody please tell me what the hell we
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were talking about? B asked Abby for help
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because he didn't want you to think that
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he was in over his head. Last week, how
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not to set your kid up on a blind date.
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This week I had upon a sex talk off on
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someone who knows even less to someone who
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doesn't even need it. So don't worry,
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Kate. In the parent of the year category,
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B is batting a big fat 02.
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All right, well, so then, just to recap,
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since you've had Lux, you've manipulated
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her into going out with Jones, you got my
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nutball sister to give her a sex talk,
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and, oh, now, now when she finally goes
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out with the guy you hook her up with,
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you ruin it. Yeah, great. Well, suddenly
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I'm feeling like less of a parenting
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failure. Oh, it's not a competition,
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Kate. And if it were, you win, okay? You
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got the good job, you got the nice house,
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you've got the bank account, you got
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everything. Everything. Where's Lex?
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Where's Ryan? It's not like it's my fault.
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You haven't exactly helped. What else do
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you want to blame me for, Kate? It's
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raining outside. It's Baze's fault your
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car doesn't start Blame Baze. Listen, I am
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not the root of all your problems.
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Really? Because it feels like you ruined
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my life back then, and somehow lately,
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you show up everywhere I am, and you ruin
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it again. It's been 16 years. Let it go.
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I mean, isn't there some sort of statute
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of limitations on how long you can punish
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me for it? Statute? You idiot. Whatever.
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And it's not just that. Okay, I heard you.
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But you said you're stupid friends after
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we slept together. What are you talking
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about?
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It was the one day after you were standing
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outside of homeroom. You know, somebody
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asked you if we hooked up. You said the
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only way that you would ever hook up with
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me was if I had a bag over my head and
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tape over my mouth so you wouldn't have to
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look at my face or listen to me.
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I mean, it's no wonder I have a job in
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radio. Kate, I'm sorry. You know that's
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not true, right? I mean, look at you. I
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shouldn't have said it. I didn't mean it.
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Yes, you did. Do you know
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that after we slept together, I actually
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thought we were gonna date? And I called
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my friend Missy and I told her that,
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you know, I thought I might actually have
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a boyfriend. And then I heard what you
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said. You didn't even see me standing
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there. It was like I didn't even exist.
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I just felt totally, completely alone.
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Like the biggest idiot.
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Kind of like now I am back this high
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school, waiting for this one person to
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make me feel like I'm actually worth
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something. Like I mean something to them.
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Kate.
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Kate, you are worth something to me.
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What? Wait, what? No, I'm talking about
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Lux, not you.
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Because she's who I want. She's what will
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make me feel better. Oh, my God. I am 32
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years old. I'm not sitting around looking
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for your approval. Okay, I get it.
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