All language subtitles for Last.Man.Standing.S05E08.The.Big.Sleepover

Hey, dad.
Hey, Eve.

Hey, look.
Cammy is still here.

Hey, Mr. Baxter.
How was work?

Obviously not too bad
if you're getting home now,

unless you went to work
at, like, midnight.

Then it'd be really bad --
or at least really long.

You didn't go to work
at midnight, did you?

Yep, cammy is still here.

Hey, honey.
How was work?

Let's not get
that started again.

This has been kind of long
for a sleepover.

If this was the ramada inn,
she'd be getting bonus points.

She's only been here
four days.

Yeah, but four days
in a row.

Uh, look, cammy, honey,
we're not trying to cut

your visit short
or anything, but --
which would be impossible

after four days.
Uhh...

Honey, w-when were you thinking
of going home?

Oh, um, Eve was supposed
to talk to you about this.

I sort of can't go home
because my parents are overseas.

What, they go on vacation
and just left you here?

They moved.

Moved?

Yeah, um, her parents are
in doctors without borders,

and they got called
over to Turkey

because of all the refugees.

They're just gonna be gone
until things settle down
in the middle east.

Oh, good, 'cause I thought
it would be a while.

I really wanted to finish
my senior year at woodbridge,

so I was gonna stay
with my great aunt,

but she broke her hip.

And you need your hip
to take care of a teenager?

But my parents said
it'd be fine if I stayed here.

Very generous
of your parents.

But have you ever been
to Turkey?

I mean, you might like it.
They have bazaars there.

You'd fit right in
in a bazaar.

Dad.

No, no.
I-i-I'm sorry.

I should go.
I'm a horrible burden.

I could just stay in the
abandoned bus behind my church.

The guy who pretends to drive it
makes everyone beans.

All right, wait, wait,
wait. Take it easy.
Take it easy, cammy.

Look, no one is saying
that you can't stay here,

at least until we figure
something out.

So, let me make you
some tea,

and Eve and her dad will have
a loud discussion.

Eve, a-are you kidding me?

She's my best friend, dad.

I don't see
what the big deal is.

The big deal is
you didn't ask us.

What if she's allergic
to your bird?

I don't have a bird.
That's right.

'Cause you asked us for a bird,
but we said no.

So, what makes you think
we'd let you have a person?

Well, are you just gonna
kick her out?

Can't --
we're christians.

And your mom insists
on acting like one.

Well, believe or not,
she's not always talking.

[ Scales play off-key ]

Oh, yeah.

'Cause when she's not talking,
she's playing the oboe.

-- Captions by vitac --

I just got off the phone
with cammy's parents.

Did you tell them
to go to hell for me?

You know, it's hard
to be mad at people

who are doing
such heroic work.

I'm finding it very easy.

You know
what heroic work is --

it's taking care
of your own children first.

You know, they feel terrible
about the way things turned out.

They said
they'd send a ticket

for cammy to join them
in Turkey.

That's not
what we're gonna do.

It's tense enough
in that part of the world

without her wandering around
with that oboe.

Well, they also said
she hasn't sent in

any college applications.

That kid has no plans
after graduation.

Well, if her plan is
to stay here, break my hip.

Yeah.

You break mine,
I'll break yours.
Done!

So we gonna put
the game on?
Yep.

I got real beer
and root beer.

Let's do this.

What are we doing?

Well, Eve and I are gonna watch
the football game.

Oh, I'm in!

But I don't know anything
about football,

so get ready
for a lot of questions.

Um, are the Denver horses
playing tonight?

The Denver broncos.

Uh, broncos are horses.

I love horses so much.
Right.

I had one
when I was little -- Duncan.

He was imaginary,
but he went everywhere with me.

[ Doorbell rings ]
Oh, that's the doorbell.

Maybe it's
a jehovah's witness,

and maybe it's time
I gave them a listen.

Look at that --
the door is wide-open.

Hey, Baxter.
What's up, larabee?

Yeah, I told Carol
you needed me to come over here

and help you fix something.

What are you trying
to get out of?

Cooking class.
Oh.

And whatever you and I fix today
is gonna break on Friday,

because Carol's got tickets
to a play.

It's about how tough it is
to be a skinny, rich white girl,

and I'm not gonna see that.

Wow, cooking class...

Plays...
Yeah.

You know what?

I see a tandem bike
in your future.

And you're not riding
up front.
Yeah.

Ever since
Brandon left for college,

I've been getting
all of Carol's focus,

and I've been happily
out of focus for 20 years.

Well,
we're watching the game.

Who's playing?
Wait, I don't care.

[Laughs] I don't even care
what sport it is. Come on.
All right, cool.

Hey, Mr. Larabee.

Hey!
It's cammy.

Yeah, I heard
you were staying over here.

Yes.
This is my home now.

When you -- when you hear it
like that, it really hits you.

Well, we're gonna put
the game on, dad.

Uh, let me get you
a cold beer.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hey, hey, wait.

If cammy is watching the game,
I think I'll pass.

We could watch the game
in the bus behind the church.

They serve beans.
[ Sighs ]

Carol actually likes cammy.
Okay.

Yeah, when she was cammy's
Sunday school teacher,

she would invite her
over to brunch.
Right.

It was actually
just breakfast,

but cammy would talk us
all the way into lunch.

Cammy: Hey, Mr. Baxter!

They're about
to do the kick-away!

Take me with you.

[ Laughs ]
Have fun, Baxter.

Kristin!

[Gasps] I was so happy
to get your text.

I have been waiting forever
for you to ask me this.

"Need to talk to you
about updating wardrobe."

We are gonna throw out
everything you own

and finally say goodbye
to 1997.

Yeah, uh, we're updating
the uniforms for the waitresses,

not my clothes.

Ohh...

Cute top.

Are you interested
or not?

I mean, I like money,

so I guess I could slap
something together.

No, I don't want you
to slap something together.

I'll have to see a design first.
Three of them, actually --

that's what
the other designers are doing.

Oh, I don't do
what other designers do.

I do what my muse tells me
to do.

Well, your muse won't be writing
the check, Mandy.

I will, okay?
So you have to earn it.

I can't just give you
preferential treatment.

Yeah, of course not.

What are we, sisters?

[ Chuckles nervously ]

Sometimes, I wonder.

Yeah, I'm calling
about cammy Harris.

Uh-huh,
she goes to your church,

and it looks like she needs
a place to stay.

Uh-huh.

No, no...

I-I don't think
she's crazy.

Yes, as a matter of fact,

I know a lot of people
that have imaginary horses.

Yeah, I get it.
Calm down, I get it.

Stop yelling.
You don't like her.

You've been no help,
reverend.

Hey, Baxter.

Uh, are we still on for that
thing in your garage tonight?

What thing?

[Sighs] That thing
that'll keep me from going

to the skinny-white-girl play.

Turns out it's a musical.

You know, Vanessa tried
to get me to do a lot
of cultural things.

You know
how I got out of it?

Took a fart machine
to the opera.

Done.

This whole thing is
my fault.

Carol wanted more kids
after we had Brandon,

but I was against it.

If I'd known she was gonna focus
all her energy on me,

I'd have had 10 more kids.

Yeah.

10 more kids would be a lot
easier than going to a play.

Listen, I got a project
of my own I'm dealing with.

I need some time,
if you'll excuse me.

[ Sighs ]

I wish Carol had a project
other than me.

Hey, larabee, larabee.

What you need is
to get away.

What if I sent you to Dallas
to check on the security system

at our Dallas store?

Wow, Baxter, man,
you really are doing me a solid.

You know, it's funny --

every time I think
I got you figured out,

you surprise me.

Yeah, well,
a lot of people say that.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, they do.

Hey, honey, listen --
turns out Chuck is heading

to Dallas tonight.

Why don't, uh -- why don't
we ask Carol over for dinner?

Yeah.

Make sure cammy is there.

I-I'll explain later.
I love you. Bye.

Surprise.

I am so proud of the initiative
you've taken

working on your college essay
these last few days.

I just -- I can't wait
to see what you've come up with.

[ Clears throat ]
Mm.

"Why not cammy?"

That's it?

Oh, no,
that's just the title.
Oh, okay.

Yes, that's it.

Cammy, look,
you are running out of time.

These college admissions people,
they need to get to know you.

You need to write
about something

that's meaningful to you,
something emotional.

Uh, my cat died.

Oh, that's fantastic.
Good.

I-I mean, sorry.
No, it's -- that's awful.

But it's emotional, okay?

You could write about what you
learned from that experience.

I learned that everything
you love dies.

All right, that --
that might be a little dark

for Arizona state.

I, uh, I'm gonna get
something to drink.

You want something?

Uh, yeah, sure, I'll have
whatever you're having.

No, you won't.

Cammy?

I can't take
much more of this, Mike.

I mean,
what are we gonna do?

It's already done.

I called Carol
over for dinner, remember?

I don't follow.

Carol likes cammy,
and Chuck said

ever since Brandon left
for college,

she's been looking
for a new project, right?

Cammy is
the mother of all projects.

Do you really think
we can just pass our problem

onto another person?

Well, I'm just --
I'm asking -- do you
really think we can do this?

[ Doorbell rings ]

We're about ready
to find out.
Okay, all right.

Hey, dad.

I mean "Mr. Baxter."

Oh, another thing
for my essay --

it wasn't just my cat
that died.

I had a fish
that died, too.

And a mouse, and a bird.

Me and animals, right?

Hey, Carol.
Come on in.
Hey, hey.

Oh, hey, Mrs. Larabee.
Hey, cammy.

Can I have your coat.

Oh, oh, thanks, guys,
for having me over.

I was supposed to go
to a play with Chuck,

but you packed him off
to Dallas.

Oh, he was upset about that.
He wants to make it up to you.

He mentioned something
about ballroom dancing.

Carol, it is just so amazingly
wonderful of you to come by --

dial it down.
It's just dinner.

Oh, dinner! Gosh,
I haven't even started dinner.

I-I've been so busy
with this little angel.

[ Chuckles ]

Trying to get her to focus
on her college essay.

Oh.

Essay's not going well.

Well, what have you got
so far?

Well, it's mostly
about dead cats and fish.

It's like --
it's like a very sad Dr. Seuss.

Well, pets die.

Nobody cares.

They want to know
who you are.

What's the most important thing
to you?

Don't think.
Answer. Go.
Uh, music.

Okay.
Okay. You love music.

I want you
to write about music

for one minute straight,
no stopping.

Don't worry about punctuation,
grammar, anything.

Just write.

What if I can't think
of any--
go.

Okay.
[ Keyboard clacking ]

Look at that.

Hey, could you get Vanessa
to do something?

Gosh, Carol.
You are so good with her.

It's just so inspiring.

It's like
"to sir, with love."

You know, y-you're like
a black Sidney poitier.

"Female" -- no,
I meant "female" -- "female."

Hey, don't look at me.
She's your friend.

Uh, you know, Carol,
it has been so hard

to get cammy to focus
since she moved in --

'cause of the noise.
It's so noisy around here.

Oh, that's right.

Doors opening and shutting,
stairs up, down --

a-and it's soup season,

and my cuisinart is just
running, running, running.

Oh, it's, like, non-stop --
minestrone, clam chowder.

No place for kids.
No place for kids.
Noise.

And stop.
[ Snaps fingers ]

Wow, I didn't think
I thought of all that.

Thank you.
Okay.

Oh, well, now we think
a little bit

about punctuation
and grammar.

Uh, I tell you what --

a little peace and quiet
might be good.

Let's take a walk
to my house.
Great.

What about dinner?

Oh, I have to take
a rain check on dinner.
Oh.

You're not missing much.

All Vanessa had planned was soup
and awkward conversation.

I have my key.
What?

Mike, that was
a brilliant plan!

You are a genius.

Ah, you know
what they call me --

the white Albert Einstein.

Bam!
Oh.

Make out the check
to Mandy Baxter designs.

I was having lunch
at the Fairmont

when inspiration struck,
so throw in an extra hundie,

'cause I tip big.
[ Chuckles ]

[Chuckles] Uh, I specifically
requested three designs.

What's wrong with this one?
You don't like it?

Uh, it's nice, but unless you
got two others hiding in there,

I'm gonna have to remove you
from consideration.

What?
That's not fair.

It's not fair
to the other designers

who did
what they were asked.

Uh, were they asked
to turn in crappy designs?

Because that's all I see.

Well, one of these
crappy designs is gonna be

our new uniform
because they did the work.

I will not burst into tears
in front of you.

I will not give you
that satisfaction.

All right, we should get ready
to open here.

Oh, I see your designers have
turned in their offerings.

Yeah, most of them.
Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's see.

This is perfect.

That's not
in the running.

Yeah, but it's classy
with a pinch of frisky.

[ Chuckles nervously ]
[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

This waitress brings me
a nice piece of meat,
I'm a happy camper.

Which makes me walk
over to the retail area

and buy some camping gear,
so it makes sense.

Yes, it's good, but the designer
didn't do what was asked,

and I'd rather work with someone
who shows me the proper respect.

Uh-huh, respect --
you want respect?

Go be the queen of england.

You want to be a good manager,

sometimes you got to take
a kick to the berries.

Or whatever
lady berries are called.

Okay, I crossed the line.
Got to go. Okay.

This is taking
too long, Mike.

Nobody can spend
an hour and half with cammy

and still want
to live with her.

[ Sighs ]
What if this doesn't work?

We'll become doctors.
We'll move to Istanbul.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Oh, dear god,
that girl can wear you out.

I know her mom and dad.

They're nice folks,
but they're kind of hands-off.

They never laid down the law
with her.

She needs somebody stronger.

Mike, it's happening.
It's happening.
Honey, honey, shh.

What's happening?

I told her
if she just waited a while,

the wine would kick in.

Finish what
you were gonna say.

Well, I know this is
out of the blue,

but since she needs
a place to stay,

could we discuss the idea
of cammy coming

to live at our house
for a while?

[ Gasps ]

Well, we hadn't given
that much thought,

but, uh...

I don't know.

I think that's a good idea.

I think so, too.

I'll call her parents.
I just got to run it past Chuck.

You know, Chuck's always said

he wished he had more kids,
you know?

Oh, all right, then.

Well, if cammy's okay with it,
she's moving in with us.

Mm.

[ Chuckling ]
Mike, you did it!

You know,
I always do it.

I don't know
why it surprises people, honey.

You're getting rid
of my best friend?

I can't believe this, dad.
You're the worst.

Maybe Carol could
take her, too.

[ Knock on door ]

Okay, I'll buy you
a new rifle.

Really?

You're mad at me even though
this is your fault?

You're gonna turn
into a great woman.

Thanks?

Listen, if you wanted cammy
to stay here,

you should have asked us.

You would have
just said no.

Ask my parakeet.

Listen, she's better off
at the larabees', honey.

Oh, don't pretend that's
all that matters to you, dad.

I'm not.

You know
what matters to me is you.

I went through three rolls
of quarters last week

before I realized you weren't
at the batting cage with me.

I'm sorry, but cammy needed
a ride home from band.

And last weekend,
we were supposed

to go over
our fishing-trip itinerary.

We have plenty of time
to do all that stuff, dad.

Yeah, I keep
telling myself that,

but you're, like, six months
away from going to college.

And I don't want to share
this time with you with anybody.

I'm not even that happy
with your mom being around here.

I know I should have asked you
about cammy.

I-I appreciate
that you care about her,

and I love
that you're a loyal friend.

I really do.

It's not something
she has a lot of.

[ Sighs ]

Look, I-If you want
to have her here,

we can have
that discussion, okay?

Okay.

Ironically, some sad oboe music
would be good right about now.

Well, we're going
with your design.

Congratulations.

Hmm.

That's the same
half-hearted congratulations

I got from the principal
when he handed me my diploma.

Once again, Mandy gets rewarded
for doing next to nothing.

Uncanny -- that's exactly
what the principal said.

What's your problem?

I'm sorry.

It just gets annoying
watching you breeze through life

without putting in
any effort.

What are these?

What? Nothing.
No, stop touching things.

These are designs
for the uniforms.

Why didn't you turn these in
with the other ones?

They're just doodles.

What makes you say
that they're uniforms?

Uh, they have aprons.
Uh...

Aprons are in.

If you ever let me take you
to the mall, I could show you.

You put a lot of work
into these.

Ohh.

I get it.
What?
What do you get?

You work really hard.

No, I don't.
Mm.

I'm a genius.

I throw things together
at the last second.

Great designers get inspired.

They don't perspire.

And if they do,
it smells...Really smart.

Okay, great designer.

Nice work.

Oh, and don't worry --
your secret is safe.

Thank you, but, hey, um...
Let's get our stories straight.

So, I came up with the design
in, uh, five minutes,

and I was pretty drunk.
[ Chuckles ]
Right, right.

Ooh, and you drew on the back
of a cocktail napkin.

Ooh, I like that.

Hey.

Hey.

So, I have a problem.

I've loved staying here
with you and your folks.

I mean, your parents are
so funny

the way they act
all annoyed.

Yeah,
we laugh all day.

But the larabees want me
to stay with them.

And they're great, too.

I mean, Mrs. Larabee just
helped me finish my essay.

What do you think
I should do?

[ Sighs ]

I think you should live
with the larabees.

Are you sure?

I mean, your dad
and I have gotten really close.

He might miss me.

No...that's okay.

I'll just hang out with him
a little more to make up for it.

Cool.

Well,
better start packing.

One one-thousand,
two one-thousand, break.

[ Sighs ]
I know the rules.

Well, you got your wish.

Peyton Manning is gonna open
a barbecue restaurant

in our garage?

Cammy is going to live
with the larabees.

You wanted us to be able
to spend time together,

so now we can.

I think
it's a good idea, honey.

Yeah, I didn't want
you moping around

like Obama got a third term.

[ Shudders ]

I still have some stuff left
in the dryer.

Hey, can I watch one more game
with you guys?

Yeah, h--

dad is gonna miss you
around here.

Don't worry.
I'll be around a lot.

Ehh...

[ Sighs ]
Baxter.

Hey, larabee.
How was your trip?

You know,
the whole flight to Dallas,

I was thinking
what a nice guy you are.

Yeah.
I'm a prince.
Mm.

Then I get
a call from Carol.

She's agreed
to let cammy stay with us

for the next few months.

Well, you and Carol taking care
of that poor little white girl

is like "blind side"
in reverse.

And the whole flight home,
I was thinking of different ways

I could kill you.

You know,
it's a two-hour flight.

I am a marine.

I think you
and Carol are gonna be happy

that cammy is
at your house.

But, you know, it turns out
cammy's not just a fan of music.

She's also a fan
of theater and the arts.

So, Carol's got herself
a new project.

In the end,
you did me a favor, Baxter.

You are a prince.

You know,
not every plan is perfect.