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1
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:04,372
Vanessa: Ready for
your big birthday surprise?
2
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,506
Blindfolded?
3
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,208
This could be anything from
a bullet to the head
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:11,345
to that amazing
coke/pepsi taste test.
5
00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:15,649
Well, we don't have any soda,
so good luck.
6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,585
You know, the best part
about this birthday,
7
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:21,522
I don't have to be around my
horrible, annoying children.
8
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,823
Right here.
Love you too, dad.
9
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,657
Hurtful.
10
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,492
Yeah.
11
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,227
You needed to hear it.
12
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:29,063
So, how's it feel
to be a year older?
13
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:32,166
My eyesight's going.
14
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,567
All: Surprise!
15
00:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,203
[ Horns blowing ]
16
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,405
Happy birthday!
17
00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:41,609
427, a big block
'67 impala!
18
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,344
How did you pay for this?
19
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,114
I used the money aunt Doris
left me when she died.
20
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:50,384
Well, now I feel bad for
napping during that funeral.
21
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,220
Well, I wanted
to get you a bazooka,
22
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,888
but, apparently,
there are laws.
23
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:57,057
So, you had the same car,
right?
24
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,394
So you were an old man
even when you were young.
25
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,863
Yeah, your dad had a hard time
giving that up.
26
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,865
But once we got pregnant
with Kristin,
27
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,235
he sold it so we could get
a bigger apartment.
28
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:08,602
Wow, so that explains
29
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:11,239
that look you give me
from time to time.
30
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,074
And I'm still not sure
I made the right decision.
31
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,743
Mwah.
32
00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:17,111
You know, the guy
we bought it from
33
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,413
was so excited to sell it
to outdoor man.
34
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,582
Oh, you know what? He said
it might need a little work.
35
00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:25,619
The, um, the something-something
is something.
36
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:28,789
Very common
with '67 impalas.
37
00:01:28,822 --> 00:01:30,090
Your present
is from all of us,
38
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,925
because we know how much
you love working on cars.
39
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,228
Yeah, we don't get it,
but we know it.
40
00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,096
You guys love me
so much.
41
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,266
This is the best
birthday gift ever.
42
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:43,070
And it's another way for me
to avoid spending time with you.
43
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,938
Come here, beautiful.
44
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,308
Happy birthday to me.
45
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:56,284
You guys still here?
46
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:57,451
Yeah.
47
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,387
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
48
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,128
Hey, birthday boy.
49
00:02:08,162 --> 00:02:09,630
You, uh, want some company?
50
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,798
No, thanks.
51
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,433
What you working on?
52
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,302
Better hints.
53
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:17,971
I'm just replacing
the spark plugs.
54
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:22,276
Oh. Why?
Did they lose their spark?
55
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,611
Just looking for
a little Mike time.
56
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,945
Yeah.
57
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,681
Well, what about some
Mike and Vanessa time, huh?
58
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,617
Remember how fun that was?
59
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,986
You working on the car,
us talking.
60
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,756
I think if you remember,
it wasn't us talking.
61
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,961
Okay, okay, I get it.
62
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,197
I'll just peel out of here.
63
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:44,465
[ Laughs ]
64
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,367
Eve: Hey, dad!
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,503
Um, the guy
who sold mom the car is here.
66
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,905
Just tell him I'm not here,
please.
67
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:54,275
Too late! He heard you!
68
00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:05,253
Outdoor man, that wife of yours
is one shrewd negotiator.
69
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:09,189
I opened with a high price,
and she countered with "okay."
70
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,326
That's how
I got her to marry me.
71
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,361
I'm Joe.
72
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,828
Joe, Mike Baxter.
Nice to meet you.
73
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,730
You don't have to tell me.
I've seen your vlogs.
74
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,566
How can you
stand in front of a camera
75
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:21,402
and -- and be funny
like that?
76
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,004
A team of great writers.
77
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,340
I'm just kidding.
It's all me.
78
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,575
So, what'd you bring me?
79
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:28,676
Oh, I brought you
some spare parts,
80
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,177
and I brought you
a commuter mug.
81
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,515
Hey, listen, I prefer no eating
or drinking in the car, okay?
82
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,183
It's an impala.
83
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,352
It's not a diner.
84
00:03:38,386 --> 00:03:41,021
I appreciate the advice.
Thanks for stopping by, man.
85
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,390
Yeah, I mean,
since I'm here,
86
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,124
I could show you
some stuff on the car.
87
00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:47,361
I've got a lot of spare time.
I recently retired...
88
00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:49,530
For the second time.
89
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,300
That's a great story.
90
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,767
Kind of a closer, actually.
91
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,803
So, I really appreciate it.
92
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,137
Appreciate the offer, though.
93
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,740
I'm just saying,
I'm a mechanic.
94
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,910
You sell fishing Poles.
95
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:07,114
I also sell
handguns and ammunition.
96
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,816
I have a whole bunch
in the house.
97
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,984
You're a fishing-pole salesman
and a comedian.
98
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,720
You know,
if you walked into a bar
99
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:16,156
with a priest and a rabbi,
you could be your own joke.
100
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,458
Come on.
Should we get to work?
101
00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:18,659
You know,
I appreciate the offer,
102
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,328
but I'm the kind of guy
who doesn't like other guys
103
00:04:20,361 --> 00:04:21,629
messing with my tools.
104
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,431
No apology necessary.
105
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,666
I am exactly the same way.
106
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,702
Let's get to work.
107
00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:36,844
Aw, man.
She's a beautiful car, Mike.
108
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,246
Oh, now, that's
a birthday gift.
109
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,683
My last birthday, Carol gave me
a blood-pressure cuff.
110
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,352
That's actually understandable
111
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,988
given that your blood type
is gravy.
112
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,157
That is a nice-looking vehicle,
Mike.
113
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:52,593
I still don't get
that whole old-car thing.
114
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,862
You said you had
a '65 'vette.
115
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,230
I did -- in 1965.
116
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,702
Pretty cool. You know
your way around a car.
117
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,036
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
118
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:05,839
I paid my way through college
working in a speed shop.
119
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,709
You mean a chop shop.
120
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:12,513
We weren't selling stolen cars.
We were selling speed.
121
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,217
Wait, that didn't
come out right.
122
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,387
So, um, you -- you -- you
had an impala
123
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,621
just like that one?
124
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,190
Very similar, but mine had
the original transmission.
125
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,224
I had the m22 in mine.
126
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,859
The rock crusher.
127
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:26,860
Yeah.
128
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,396
More old-car talk.
129
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:31,331
Good. I need a nap.
130
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,299
Rock crusher.
131
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,067
That was a kick-ass
transmission.
132
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,302
Loud as hell.
133
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,004
Yeah, and if that car
had the original tranny,
134
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,338
it would be worth
a lot more money,
135
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:39,339
I'll tell you that.
136
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,541
Yeah, well,
she's a great car, Mike.
137
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,509
Yeah, it is.
138
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:42,676
Did it come with any extras?
139
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,911
Oh, yeah.
140
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:48,382
Got a big cardboard box,
a "tonight show" mug, and a guy.
141
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,321
Boom!
142
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,590
Just scored tickets
to the scorch music festival
143
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:57,825
in Santa fe.
144
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:03,897
Gonna be a lot of this
and even some of this!
145
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,600
Mom's never gonna let you go to
an overnight concert alone.
146
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,101
She'll have to chaperone,
147
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,604
which means
there'll be a lot of this...
148
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:13,607
[ Squealing ]
149
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,108
[ Groans ]
150
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:17,244
God. Mom dancing.
151
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,446
Yeah.
Take it from me --
152
00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,414
the only way you're gonna get
mom's permission
153
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,749
is if you don't ask for it.
154
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:22,916
Huh.
155
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,084
Must suck to be Mandy.
156
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:25,786
It's great to be Eve.
Mom trusts me.
157
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,523
Oh, hey, mom.
158
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:32,926
So, I have three tickets to
this music festival in Santa fe.
159
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:33,961
Oh, I'm in!
160
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,529
Let's get jiggy with it!
161
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,131
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
162
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:46,106
Uh, actually, the tickets
are for me, cammy, and Sarah.
163
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,641
But we'd have to stay overnight
on Saturday.
164
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:50,310
Where?
Sarah's aunt lives there,
so we could just crash with her.
165
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,612
Uh, what about
your schoolwork?
166
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,113
Oh, I'd get it all done
before we go.
167
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:55,483
Oh, all right. Sounds good.
Have fun.
168
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:04,124
Oh, boy.
169
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,260
What?
170
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,997
Nothing. Just keep
doing what you're doing.
171
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,635
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
172
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,773
For the love of god,
I know what I'm doing here.
173
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,408
I could rebuild a carburetor
in my sleep.
174
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,977
Looks like you already did.
175
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,614
It's ready to go.
I'm gonna start it up.
176
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:28,849
Hey, congratulations.
177
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:32,019
Hey, uh, is this important?
178
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,825
The main jet
to the carburetor, yeah.
179
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,292
How come you didn't
say something?
180
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:43,263
Uh, I said "oh, boy"
like a hundred times.
181
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,265
I got to
take the float bowl off now
182
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800
and put this back in there.
183
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,702
Oh, man.
184
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,538
Gotcha!
185
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,606
You know, I carry a spare one
of those in my pocket
186
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,374
when everybody's working
on the carburetors.
187
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,810
It's my favorite gag.
Works every time.
188
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,045
[ Laughs ]
189
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,648
Yeah, that's why I take
a -- a slide whistle
190
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:03,150
to the proctologist.
191
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:07,120
Which is where
I'd rather be right now.
192
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,656
I'm going to get a beer.
193
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,990
Uh, none for me, thanks.
194
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,659
I'm the kind of mechanic
that doesn't like
195
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:14,728
to get hammered
when he's working on a car.
196
00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,530
I'm not hammered,
197
00:08:16,564 --> 00:08:17,565
which is pretty amazing,
198
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,200
considering
the last three hours.
199
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,336
Hey,
how about next birthday,
200
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,773
you just get me
a blood-pressure cuff?
201
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,810
Joe has got to go.
202
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,913
Here's a thought --
tell him.
203
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,314
I wouldn't want to be rude.
204
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:38,051
Mostly because
it hasn't been working.
205
00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,152
I want you
to tell him to go.
206
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,654
Oh, great, yeah,
make me the bad guy.
207
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,089
Just come out to the garage
and say
208
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,157
you're fed up with all the time
I'm spending with him
209
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,358
and he's got to go.
210
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,394
Honey, he's not gonna
believe that coming from me.
211
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,262
I'm -- I'm a sweetie.
212
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,064
You have it in you.
213
00:08:51,098 --> 00:08:53,500
Do you remember the Vanessa that
showed up at the block party
214
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,435
when the shirazis brought
that peach Cole slaw?
215
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:59,006
Peach Cole slaw is my thing,
and everybody knows that!
216
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,409
Yeah.
Please, please use that.
217
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,611
[ Exhales sharply ]
218
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,681
Joe: Well,
that took long enough.
219
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,416
Apparently a bottle opener
is another tool
220
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,218
you're not familiar with.
221
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,386
It was my wife.
You know how it is.
222
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,388
Not really. Never married.
223
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,591
Lucky girl.
224
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,392
Look, I don't mean to be
225
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,061
riding you so hard
about the car, okay?
226
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,896
I just -- I just
wanted to make sure
227
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,564
you knew your stuff,
that's all.
228
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,533
Well, that's why
I kept you around, Joe.
229
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,202
Hoping
I'd win your approval.
230
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,738
Well, you could win something
a lot better.
231
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,139
Mm-hmm?
232
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,707
How about the rock crusher?
233
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,475
The muncie m22?
You have one of those?
234
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,612
I have the original transmission
for this car
235
00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:40,881
with the vin number
stamped on the case.
236
00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,982
It's at my garage.
237
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,251
Hell yeah!
238
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:48,756
Vanessa:
Mike! I have had it!
239
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:55,295
You have been out here
night and day for the past week,
240
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,265
and the rest of the house
is falling apart!
241
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:01,168
Now say goodbye
to your little friend!
242
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:06,206
Get your butt back in here
and start being a husband again!
243
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,947
It's mostly about Cole slaw.
244
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,857
Good morning, Mr. B.
245
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:27,127
I don't need your attitude
today, Kyle.
246
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,362
I'll work on that, sir.
247
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,665
Okay,
you're in a lousy mood,
248
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:35,102
and Joe was in your garage
till 9:00 last night.
249
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,770
I'm guessing
there's a connection.
250
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:38,138
Damn right
there's a connection.
251
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:40,140
That guy's promised
to bring over the transmission
252
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,174
every day for two days.
253
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,475
It's always some excuse.
254
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,377
Today's excuse was he's gonna
spend time with friends.
255
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,714
I know that's a lie.
256
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,949
Sounds like Pete zimbowski.
257
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,684
He was
a snowmobile distributor
258
00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,619
who just loved
hanging out with me.
259
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,888
Who wouldn't?
260
00:10:54,922 --> 00:10:57,624
He kept promising to show me
this prototype of a snowmobile
261
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,792
that was also a jet ski.
262
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,227
Oh, yeah.
The guy that drowned.
263
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,394
Yeah.
264
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,463
I think Joe might be
leading you on, too,
265
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,732
just to spend time with you.
266
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:05,999
Who wouldn't?
267
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,871
So he may not even have
the rock crusher.
268
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:12,539
Exactly.
269
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,174
I've got to find out.
270
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,909
This is where you come in.
271
00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,912
Oh, please tell me
you're not gonna ask
272
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:23,083
your only black friend to
break into another man's garage.
273
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,752
No, of course not.
274
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,186
Would you?
275
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,487
No!
276
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,489
I'm gonna go check
the security cameras.
277
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,558
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait. Sit down.
278
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,027
That gives me a great idea.
279
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,165
Hey, mom, remember
that great conversation
280
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:39,432
we were having yesterday?
281
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:41,101
I'm sorry, Mandy.
I don't.
282
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,871
Yeah. That's 'cause
we didn't have one.
283
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,740
And that's 'cause
I've been ignoring you.
284
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:48,675
Thanks for noticing.
285
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,677
Okay. What did I do?
286
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,781
Okay, whenever I asked to go
on overnights in high school,
287
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,915
you always said no.
288
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,084
But with Eve, it's like,
"oh, sure, have fun!
289
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,286
I love you more than Mandy!"
290
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,422
Okay, all right, yes, Mandy,
you know what?
291
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,757
I did treat you differently.
292
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,258
Don't deny it.
293
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:08,428
I did that because you
reminded me of your mother.
294
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,897
I knew it. I'm adopted!
295
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,231
Ugh!
296
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,432
Oh, god, you know what?
297
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,401
When you compare me
with the rest of the family,
298
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,302
I really do pop.
299
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,938
No, honey.
I'm talking about me.
300
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,072
When I was a teenager,
301
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,308
I was just as wild
and impulsive as you are.
302
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,943
Wow.
303
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,744
What happened?
304
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:26,814
I changed. I matured.
305
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,615
And I think I turned out
pretty well.
306
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,884
Yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna
nitpick or anything.
307
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,953
All right. All right.
308
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:35,455
The important thing is,
I trust you now.
309
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,389
You do?
310
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,425
Yeah.
Because you've matured also.
311
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:41,628
I mean, look at the responsible
young woman you've become.
312
00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:42,863
It's wonderful.
313
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,268
Oh, my god. I'm mom.
314
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,474
Still not comfortable
doing this, Baxter.
315
00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:55,976
Come on, Chuck.
316
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,011
Just give him that
security spiel of yours
317
00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,113
while Kyle and I look for
the transmission.
318
00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,949
Yeah, anybody who messes
with Mr. B.
319
00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,416
And is hanging around his house
320
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,920
is messing with me
and hanging around my house.
321
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:09,256
Maybe I'll go in by myself
and you can take Kyle with you.
322
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,457
No.
323
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,758
Outdoor man!
Hey, Joe. How you doing?
324
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,160
How are you?
Good to see you.
325
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,195
This is my head of security
at my company, Chuck larabee.
326
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:16,363
Hey.
Hey.
327
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:18,331
And Kyle, he just --
he just asked to come.
328
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,167
Well,
nice to meet you, Kyle.
329
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,969
You didn't tell me
he was nice.
330
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,770
Well,
you seem very nice, too.
331
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,671
Oh, god.
332
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,874
Hey.
333
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,843
Come on inside.
334
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:30,978
[ Whistles ]
335
00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:32,379
Yeah.
336
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:36,183
Damn!
This place is sweet!
337
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,819
Why did you ever want to
come over to my garage?
338
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:40,988
Well,
I'm glad you like it.
339
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,789
You know, it's kind of why
I never got married.
340
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,357
You know, no wife
could really understand
341
00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:46,526
why a man would need
a place like this.
342
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,161
Oh, that's not true.
343
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,329
My wife totally gets it.
344
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:50,497
Sure.
345
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:53,400
That's why she was yelling
at you the other night.
346
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,534
Ooh.
347
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,569
Trouble in paradise?
348
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,839
How's that blood-pressure cuff
working out?
349
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:03,743
This is
a great garage, Joe.
350
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,678
Um, but, you know,
places like this,
351
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,514
they get broken into
all the time.
352
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:10,817
So I'd love to hook you up
with a good security package.
353
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,886
He'll give you a discount.
354
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,022
You know,
I don't need a discount.
355
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:18,191
I made so much money
selling that car to his wife,
356
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,859
I can retire a third time.
357
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:21,962
[ Laughs ]
358
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,199
Hey, let's go outside
the garage, Joe.
359
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,601
You know, that's where
thieves always start.
360
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,170
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
361
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,205
Are you saying
the thieves start outside...
362
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:35,075
Mm-hmm.
...And then they come inside?
363
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,710
You went to school for this,
didn't you?
364
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:43,951
Don't touch anything, and don't
be messing in my garage!
365
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,186
Well, isn't that
the garage-messer
366
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,556
calling the other guy a guy
who's messing up his garage.
367
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,460
Listen, watch the door.
368
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,765
Not here.
369
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,101
Not here.
370
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,135
Not here.
371
00:15:02,169 --> 00:15:04,104
I'm beginning to think it's...
372
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,805
Not here.
373
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,409
[ Alarm blaring ]
374
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,950
[ Blaring stops ]
I said don't touch anything!
375
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:20,153
Hey, Kyle, he said
don't touch anything.
376
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,589
You already have
a security system?
377
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:26,059
Wow, you did go to school
for this, didn't you?
378
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,594
Why didn't you just
say something?
379
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:29,396
Because I didn't want to be
rude, Mike.
380
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,464
Okay, maybe that's a lesson
you should work on.
381
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,900
Really? Maybe you should
work on honesty.
382
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,968
What is that
supposed to mean?
383
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,069
You don't have
a rock crusher.
384
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,270
You just wanted to
spend time with me.
385
00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:38,338
Is that what you think?
386
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,140
Yeah. Outdoor man.
You're starstruck.
387
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,509
It happens.
388
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:47,180
You make online videos
for a tent store.
389
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:51,818
You're not exactly
David letterman, okay?
390
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,753
David letterman is hilarious.
391
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:54,787
And you know something?
392
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:55,989
You're starting
to bother me, too.
393
00:15:56,023 --> 00:15:57,657
Get the hell out of here.
394
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,526
You know, if I'm not
that nice a guy,
395
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,828
I guess there's no reason
to stop by my garage.
396
00:16:01,861 --> 00:16:03,930
Great, because watching you
work on a car was torture.
397
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,198
It was like having
to sit through
398
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,300
six of those
"Santa clause" movies.
399
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,806
They made three of them.
Everybody knows that.
400
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,909
It just felt like six!
401
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,515
What sounds good
for dinner?
402
00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:27,320
Ah, five quarts of 15w-40
and a new fram oil filter.
403
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:28,555
What?
404
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,157
Oh, were you
talking about us?
405
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,125
I was talking about
the impala.
406
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,860
It's all I thought about
today at work --
407
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,195
getting back to
working on the car.
408
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:39,166
Since Joe's out of my life,
it's just me and my other girl.
409
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,173
Okay, just me.
410
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:53,513
Hey.
411
00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:54,914
When you steal a guy's car,
412
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:58,085
you better find a better place
to hide it than your own garage.
413
00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,152
I didn't steal it.
414
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:00,687
I was putting in
your rock crusher.
415
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,089
Right -- what?
416
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,423
The rock crusher?
417
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:05,192
You -- you have
the transmission?
418
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,726
I told you I had it.
419
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:09,262
I figured it would be quicker
if I did it myself.
420
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:12,199
You know, your beer-drinking
just slows the work down.
421
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,600
Where'd you hide
the rock crusher?
422
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:14,601
I looked for it yesterday.
423
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:15,868
It was in the pit.
424
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,670
Pit?
425
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,738
You have a pit in here?
426
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,207
Yeah.
427
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,713
You have a pit.
I've always wanted a pit.
428
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,249
You can't have a pit these days
'cause of zoning laws.
429
00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,683
[ Chuckles ] Obama.
430
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,452
Yeah.
431
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,721
Yeah, you know,
that's his master plan.
432
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,957
Invade Texas,
establish a new world order,
433
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,726
and then take
everybody's pit.
434
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:41,261
Okay.
435
00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:44,131
Look, here's your spare key.
That's how I got it over here.
436
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:45,898
Look...
437
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:47,100
I appreciate it.
438
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,901
I mean, thanks for putting in
the transmission.
439
00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,603
And if you ever want
to visit the car,
440
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,305
you -- you stop by.
441
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:54,441
You know, I work from
9:00 to 5:00, so stop by,
442
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:57,910
you know,
between 9:00 and 5:00.
443
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:01,281
No need to. I got my own project
I'm working on.
444
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:04,484
'67 g.T.O.
445
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,920
'67 goat.
446
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,789
Whoa.
447
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:11,458
If you need any help
wrenching it, you know,
448
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:12,792
I'd be delighted to come by.
449
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:17,164
Yeah? Need some time to get away
from the old lady, huh?
450
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,731
No.
451
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,401
Vanessa -- she's a classic.
452
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,637
All her original parts.
453
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,573
Yep, I wouldn't trade her
for anything.
454
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,641
So what makes you want to
come around here?
455
00:18:28,675 --> 00:18:30,177
Is it our undeniable
chemistry?
456
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,411
What?
457
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,745
I don't get it.
458
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,946
It's this space.
459
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,583
This is a great garage.
It really is a great garage.
460
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,017
And I'm a car guy,
always have been.
461
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,986
No, you were a car guy.
462
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,821
You're a family guy now,
okay?
463
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:42,922
All right?
464
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,824
This is what you gave up.
465
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,297
Yes, I did.
466
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,335
Hey.
Hi.
467
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,470
Sounds like
you got your car back.
468
00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,005
You heard me backing it in?
469
00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:00,807
I heard you
all the way on Hudson.
470
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,276
Yeah, it turns out
this was just a misunderstanding
471
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,444
between friends.
472
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:07,814
Joe had the misunderstanding
that we were friends.
473
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:10,149
So, no more Joe?
474
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,319
Geez, I was afraid that
once you saw his garage,
475
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,187
it would be no more Vanessa.
[ Chuckles ]
476
00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,623
Yeah, but that pit --
that pit is just dangerous.
477
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,791
Someone's gonna fall in that pit
and hurt themselves.
478
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:21,661
Damn, I wish I had a pit.
479
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,664
You know, Mike, we could fix up
our garage if you want.
480
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,499
We could
take the kids' bikes
481
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,901
and the Christmas decorations
out of there
482
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,838
and move the washer
and the dryer into the basement.
483
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,507
Might be the perfect place
for Mike time.
484
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:35,575
You'd do that for me?
485
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,743
Yeah, yeah. If you like.
486
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,045
Um, sure.
487
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,481
Just think about it.
488
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,082
I did think about it.
489
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,517
[ Laughs ] Okay.
490
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:47,854
That was a little longer
than I expected.
491
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,088
I will call the plumber
492
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:51,258
and have him move the laundry
to the basement.
493
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,525
Nah, I don't want to do it.
494
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,661
I thought about it, and I like
the garage the way it is.
495
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,329
I like having all that
family stuff there.
496
00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,097
Okay.
497
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,335
Uh, what?
498
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,071
I'm probably
going to regret this.
499
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,873
But why don't you
get us some beers,
500
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,040
come on out the garage.
501
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:12,178
I'll work on the car
and we can talk.
502
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,380
That'd be great.
503
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,948
Good.
504
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:21,554
You, uh, sure there's enough
"vroom" for me out there?
505
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:24,791
Yes, honey, there's plenty of
"vroom" out there.
506
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,435
Hey, Mike Baxter
here for outdoor man.
507
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,736
The invention of the wheel
508
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,538
dates back
to the neolithic period,
509
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,573
about 6500 b.C.
510
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,809
Over 8,000 years
of accidents later,
511
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,211
Fred lanchester invented
the disc brake
512
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,245
and put a stop to that.
513
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,246
[ Chuckles ]
514
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,915
It wasn't long
before automobiles
515
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:52,319
fulfilled their true purpose --
impressing Monica Kendall
516
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,488
doing donuts
in the 7-Eleven parking lot.
517
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,090
There was a time when I couldn't
imagine anything better
518
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,460
than cruising around
with my high-school sweetheart.
519
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:03,730
But then you drive your first
daughter home from the hospital,
520
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,733
you drive your middle daughter
home from her first school play,
521
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,769
and you drive your youngest
to a soccer practice.
522
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,671
And your beautiful wife
gets in the car,
523
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:16,275
and you think, "really,
you couldn't give me one son?"
524
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,945
A man might be a 427 big block.
525
00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,079
Yowzer.
526
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,948
But his family is the wheels.
527
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:25,117
And he's not going anywhere
without his family.
528
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,019
Believe me. I've tried.
37790
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