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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,678 --> 00:00:09,639 Come on. Come on, come on, come on. 2 00:00:09,769 --> 00:00:10,857 Come on, come on. 3 00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:12,120 What are you doing? 4 00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,338 Oh, I'm waiting to see 5 00:00:13,512 --> 00:00:15,166 if that branch with the crack falls. 6 00:00:15,297 --> 00:00:16,689 How long have you been waiting? 7 00:00:16,776 --> 00:00:20,128 Mm, 23 years, but I think today's the day. 8 00:00:21,999 --> 00:00:24,567 Nothing prepares one for the sheer boredom 9 00:00:24,697 --> 00:00:26,090 of endless purgatory. 10 00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:27,570 We could start a rumor.[gasps] 11 00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:30,181 Ooh, we haven't started a rumor in a while. 12 00:00:30,312 --> 00:00:31,617 Mm. Can it be devastating? 13 00:00:31,791 --> 00:00:33,576 Oh, absolutely. Mm. 14 00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,317 But who should it be about? 15 00:00:35,447 --> 00:00:36,796 Hey, guys. 16 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,711 I just got back from an epic trip. 17 00:00:38,842 --> 00:00:40,017 I went to "Buda-pesht." 18 00:00:40,148 --> 00:00:41,192 You may know it as "Buda-pest," 19 00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:42,976 but in "Buda-pesht" it's "Buda-pesht." 20 00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:44,935 And it was the Buda-best. 21 00:00:45,109 --> 00:00:46,110 [laughs] 22 00:00:46,197 --> 00:00:47,329 - Uh-huh. - Can't wait to tell Donna 23 00:00:47,416 --> 00:00:48,373 all about it. 24 00:00:48,504 --> 00:00:49,592 I'm gonna see her next week. 25 00:00:49,722 --> 00:00:51,942 Right, Donna, your island paramour. 26 00:00:52,029 --> 00:00:54,858 Man, this new power has really opened things up for me. 27 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,773 I never realized how bored I was 28 00:00:56,860 --> 00:00:59,558 just sitting there for 40 years, yeesh. 29 00:00:59,645 --> 00:01:00,733 [laughs] 30 00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,300 Anyway, nice to see you guys. 31 00:01:02,431 --> 00:01:03,693 Good to be back. 32 00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:06,174 Good luck with your, uh, branch there, Sass. 33 00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:07,610 Today could be the day. 34 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,264 Let me know what happens. [chuckles] 35 00:01:09,351 --> 00:01:11,701 Ah. 36 00:01:11,831 --> 00:01:13,790 Random thought, but, uh, 37 00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:15,792 what if we made the rumor about Pete? 38 00:01:15,922 --> 00:01:17,750 Let's make it a doozy. 39 00:01:17,924 --> 00:01:20,188 ♪ 40 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,018 SAMANTHA: All right, "Getting Your Groove Back 41 00:01:25,106 --> 00:01:26,846 After a Breakup," here we go. 42 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,500 Yes, this article shall be the salve 43 00:01:28,631 --> 00:01:29,675 to the lingering pain 44 00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:30,894 of my separation from Nigel. 45 00:01:30,981 --> 00:01:32,069 "Number one: 46 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,201 take a trip somewhere fun." 47 00:01:33,331 --> 00:01:34,419 ALBERTA: Okay, 48 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:36,334 well, that one is obviously out. 49 00:01:36,508 --> 00:01:38,771 "Number two: reinvent yourself with a bold new wardrobe." 50 00:01:38,858 --> 00:01:40,164 Oh, boy. JAY: Guessing that 51 00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,166 - didn't go over well. - Wait, let me see, uh, 52 00:01:42,253 --> 00:01:44,081 "Enjoy a decadent meal, join a rec league 53 00:01:44,212 --> 00:01:46,475 and meet new people," yeah, these aren't helping. 54 00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:48,781 Another great article from the biased Living media. 55 00:01:48,955 --> 00:01:50,261 TREVOR: Well, that's it. 56 00:01:50,435 --> 00:01:52,263 Looks like I'm gonna have to quit my job. 57 00:01:53,003 --> 00:01:54,439 I'm-I'm sorry, job? 58 00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:56,180 You have a job? 59 00:01:56,311 --> 00:01:58,226 I was keeping it secret so Mom and Dad didn't freak out, 60 00:01:58,356 --> 00:01:59,705 but yeah. 61 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:02,273 I've been working remotely for the last three months 62 00:02:02,404 --> 00:02:04,884 as a financial analyst at Mahoning Capital. 63 00:02:05,015 --> 00:02:06,669 Apparently, Trevor has been working remotely 64 00:02:06,799 --> 00:02:07,974 as some sort of financial analyst. 65 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:10,281 What? How? 66 00:02:10,412 --> 00:02:11,935 TREVOR: I got an identity on the dark web, 67 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,676 applied online and got the gig. 68 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,068 From there, it was easy. 69 00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:16,505 Sending in my reports, 70 00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,028 crushing chats in the company Slack. 71 00:02:18,202 --> 00:02:19,029 It's honestly a great time 72 00:02:19,203 --> 00:02:21,249 for a ghost to have a job. 73 00:02:21,379 --> 00:02:23,120 So he got an identity on the dark web. 74 00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:24,687 How did he even get through an interview? 75 00:02:24,861 --> 00:02:26,297 I said I needed a written interview 76 00:02:26,428 --> 00:02:28,734 because I have ADHD, which isn't technically true, 77 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:30,997 but I also lied about it in college to get drugs, 78 00:02:31,128 --> 00:02:32,042 so there is a history there. 79 00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:33,609 So why must you quit this job? 80 00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:35,785 Because my boss 81 00:02:35,915 --> 00:02:38,396 is demanding our team attend a mandatory in-person retreat, 82 00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:40,050 which obviously I can't do. 83 00:02:40,181 --> 00:02:43,445 It sucks. Also, it's just rude. 84 00:02:43,575 --> 00:02:45,403 A work thing on a weekend? People have lives. 85 00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,231 - You're dead. - I'm talking about 86 00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:48,624 other people. 87 00:02:51,931 --> 00:02:55,500 Should I get a job? Would that get my groove back? 88 00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:59,025 Now, a good rumor must be surprising yet plausible. 89 00:02:59,156 --> 00:03:00,288 - Mm-hmm. - In life, I once spread a doozy 90 00:03:00,418 --> 00:03:02,551 about Mamie Fish having a back nipple. 91 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,900 - What about Pete's hair? - Hmm. 92 00:03:04,074 --> 00:03:05,945 Maybe we tell people it's a wig? 93 00:03:06,076 --> 00:03:08,948 Ooh. Or it snaps in place like a Lego piece? 94 00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,776 It does look oddly removable. 95 00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:13,953 Yeah. I guess that's what his island girl Donna's into. 96 00:03:14,084 --> 00:03:16,434 That's it. Donna. 97 00:03:16,565 --> 00:03:18,480 What about Donna? 98 00:03:18,654 --> 00:03:20,177 Oh, no... 99 00:03:20,308 --> 00:03:22,571 Oh... Sorry, actually, it's nothing. 100 00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,790 It's not really meant - for you to hear. - No. No, no, no, no. 101 00:03:24,921 --> 00:03:25,922 Thor can keep secret. 102 00:03:26,096 --> 00:03:27,793 Tell no one the baroness died 103 00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:29,708 in season finale of Bodices and Barons. 104 00:03:29,882 --> 00:03:31,623 I haven't seen that yet. 105 00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,495 Is excellent, you will enjoy. 106 00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:35,975 Now, what about Donna? 107 00:03:36,106 --> 00:03:37,455 [sighs] Okay, fine. 108 00:03:37,542 --> 00:03:40,937 So, rumor has it, Pete's Caribbean girlfriend Donna 109 00:03:41,111 --> 00:03:42,808 doesn't exist. 110 00:03:43,592 --> 00:03:45,028 Whoa. 111 00:03:45,115 --> 00:03:46,551 Peter made the whole thing up. 112 00:03:46,682 --> 00:03:48,553 - I can't-- it's very sad. - It's so sad. 113 00:03:48,684 --> 00:03:50,468 - It's sad. - So sad. It's so sad. 114 00:03:50,599 --> 00:03:51,991 But remember, Thorfinn, 115 00:03:52,122 --> 00:03:53,950 mum's the word. Mm-hmm. 116 00:03:54,037 --> 00:03:55,865 Thor promise. Is secret. 117 00:03:56,039 --> 00:03:59,608 Sort of like how Baroness died at hands of own sister Penelope. 118 00:03:59,738 --> 00:04:00,913 Thorfinn! Is great twist. 119 00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:03,481 You will love. [laughs] 120 00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:06,615 TREVOR: Okay, I have great news. 121 00:04:06,745 --> 00:04:09,748 I just Slacked with my boss Brett, and he is down 122 00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:12,708 to have the work retreat here at Woodstone. 123 00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:15,014 What? Trevor wants to have his work retreat here. 124 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:16,364 How would that even help? 125 00:04:16,494 --> 00:04:18,061 - They won't be able to see him. - TREVOR: True, 126 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,584 they won't be able to see me, 127 00:04:19,671 --> 00:04:22,587 but they will be able to see Jay being me. 128 00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:25,111 And now he's suggesting that you somehow pretend to be him. 129 00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:26,983 [laughs] No. 130 00:04:27,723 --> 00:04:28,985 No way. 131 00:04:29,115 --> 00:04:30,421 Wait, how would that even work? 132 00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:31,640 Well, they don't know what I look like, 133 00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:33,598 and I can just tell him what to say. 134 00:04:33,729 --> 00:04:34,860 Or tell you to tell him what to say. 135 00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:36,209 Yeah, Jay could wear 136 00:04:36,297 --> 00:04:37,602 one of those Bluetooth earpieces. 137 00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,648 I feel like douchey Wall Street guys do that. 138 00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:40,866 Yeah, we do. JAY: What is going on? 139 00:04:40,997 --> 00:04:42,955 Why are you so on board? 140 00:04:43,042 --> 00:04:45,306 I'm-I'm not pretending to be a ghost. 141 00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:47,569 No one is asking him to pretend to be a ghost. 142 00:04:47,699 --> 00:04:50,180 I'm simply asking him to pretend to be the person 143 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,225 that a ghost is pretending to be. 144 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:53,314 ISAAC: What's going on, gang? 145 00:04:53,401 --> 00:04:55,185 Oh, Trevor's trying to get Jay 146 00:04:55,359 --> 00:04:56,839 to... [gasps] 147 00:04:56,969 --> 00:04:58,623 [Alberta stammers] 148 00:04:58,797 --> 00:05:00,495 I'm sorry, what the hell is this? 149 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:02,801 What? Oh, this? 150 00:05:02,888 --> 00:05:04,325 You know, after 151 00:05:04,455 --> 00:05:06,327 you all departed, I finished that magazine article 152 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:08,546 and I was taken by tip number nine: 153 00:05:08,633 --> 00:05:11,027 "New do, new you." 154 00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:13,159 Hey, hey. Sam. Hey. 155 00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:15,292 Sorry, Isaac d-did something. 156 00:05:15,423 --> 00:05:17,033 It's not important. 157 00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:19,035 "Not important"? The old Isaac 158 00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:21,907 would be offended by a comment like that. 159 00:05:22,038 --> 00:05:25,911 But the new Isaac says, "Long hair, don't care." 160 00:05:25,998 --> 00:05:28,479 Sam, please. 161 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,439 Having this job has made me feel alive again. 162 00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:33,615 I love being back in the mix with my people: 163 00:05:33,745 --> 00:05:35,617 fun, cool go-getters, instead of these 164 00:05:35,704 --> 00:05:36,618 dead lame-o's. 165 00:05:36,748 --> 00:05:37,575 No offense. 166 00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:38,881 No offense taken. 167 00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:40,883 - All good. - Ugh. I really hate this. 168 00:05:41,013 --> 00:05:42,493 Jay, this job means so much to Trevor. 169 00:05:42,624 --> 00:05:45,017 - We could at least try. - TREVOR: Also, 170 00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:47,019 I didn't want to make my finance job about money, 171 00:05:47,150 --> 00:05:49,544 but if you do this, I'll split my bonus with you. 172 00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,676 And he's offering to split his bonus with us. 173 00:05:51,807 --> 00:05:53,374 How much? 174 00:05:53,461 --> 00:05:54,897 Enough to repair the fountain. 175 00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:56,681 He's talking fountain money, Jay. 176 00:05:57,813 --> 00:05:59,684 Okay. [exhales] Fine. 177 00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:00,859 Yes. 178 00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:01,991 See? It all worked out. 179 00:06:02,121 --> 00:06:03,471 Oh, stop it. 180 00:06:03,645 --> 00:06:05,211 But I'm just not sure this 181 00:06:05,342 --> 00:06:07,910 sells "Trevor Lefkowitz." 182 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,477 I didn't use my real name. 183 00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:12,131 I picked something hard to google 184 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,351 and impossible to forget. 185 00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:15,918 What name did you use? 186 00:06:17,441 --> 00:06:22,664 H-Hey, guys, it's me, Michael Jackson. 187 00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:30,846 As you all know, my name is Brett, 188 00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:32,151 aka the Brettinator.[chuckles] 189 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,501 I gave him that nickname. 190 00:06:33,631 --> 00:06:35,154 BRETT: Welcome to our team meeting. 191 00:06:35,285 --> 00:06:36,895 I thought it was important for us to get together IRL, 192 00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:38,375 get some face time 193 00:06:38,506 --> 00:06:40,072 to see if Maggie can finally take down Dave. 194 00:06:40,203 --> 00:06:41,596 Hey-yo! Ooh. 195 00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:42,901 You guys know I'm engaged. 196 00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:44,512 Nobody cares, Dave, this is happening. 197 00:06:44,599 --> 00:06:45,687 [chuckles] 198 00:06:45,817 --> 00:06:47,166 Classic Maggie. I love it. 199 00:06:47,297 --> 00:06:49,604 So she's harassing him. 200 00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,606 I guess that's progress? 201 00:06:51,736 --> 00:06:53,216 It's all good. 202 00:06:53,303 --> 00:06:54,391 BRETT: Uh-oh, MJ, you're not on the phone 203 00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:56,262 with HR, are you? [laughs] 204 00:06:56,393 --> 00:06:59,091 Uh, no, I'm on a business call. 205 00:06:59,178 --> 00:07:00,528 Stocks. 206 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:05,794 "Earnings call, dolla-dolla bills, y'all." 207 00:07:05,924 --> 00:07:09,058 And tell him to raise the roof when he says it, that's key. 208 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:11,800 "Earnings call. Dolla-dolla bills, y'all." 209 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,759 And Trevor says to raise the roof when you say it. 210 00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:15,891 Earnings call. 211 00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:17,066 [drums on leg, sighs] 212 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,546 Dolla-dolla bills, y'all. 213 00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:20,591 - [laughing]: Ah! - Hey, raise the roof. 214 00:07:21,853 --> 00:07:23,202 By the way, Michael, sick job 215 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,682 with the Dreamtek merger. 216 00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:26,423 How did you reach the valuation? 217 00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:29,992 That... is a great question. 218 00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:33,256 How did I come up with the valuation 219 00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:34,910 for the Dreamtek merger? 220 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,913 I ran a DCF with a Monte Carlo sim 221 00:07:38,087 --> 00:07:39,392 to factor in volatility. 222 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,959 Uh... 223 00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:43,179 Mmm. 224 00:07:43,266 --> 00:07:44,572 Oh, you know. 225 00:07:44,702 --> 00:07:48,184 I ran a, uh, a-a-a DTF down in Monte Carlo. 226 00:07:48,314 --> 00:07:49,881 DTF? 227 00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,318 Sounds like me this weekend. Am I right, Dave? [laughs] 228 00:07:53,232 --> 00:07:55,191 Lock your door, Dave. Maggie's had a lot of white wine. 229 00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,889 You guys, I got big news. 230 00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:00,675 Did you hear about Pete? 231 00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:03,112 Thor told me that his Caribbean plaything 232 00:08:03,242 --> 00:08:05,897 Donna isn't real. He made her up. 233 00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,682 What? Why would he do that? 234 00:08:07,769 --> 00:08:09,031 Oh, I'm not that surprised. That's his kink. 235 00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:11,337 He likes 'em fake, huh? 236 00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:12,251 Pete's girlfriend is fake? 237 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,688 Pete's girlfriend is fake. 238 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,385 Pete's girlfriend is fake. 239 00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:17,343 Pete? From compliance? 240 00:08:17,474 --> 00:08:19,911 Yep. That's the one. 241 00:08:20,085 --> 00:08:21,086 They have a kid together. I thought. 242 00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:23,698 Nope. Kid's fake, too. 243 00:08:23,828 --> 00:08:26,222 Uh, but I made a major life decision 244 00:08:26,352 --> 00:08:28,006 based on Pete bursting into my wedding 245 00:08:28,137 --> 00:08:30,356 saying how meaningful his relationship with Donna was, 246 00:08:30,487 --> 00:08:32,924 and you're telling me he made it all up? 247 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:33,925 Pretty much. 248 00:08:34,926 --> 00:08:37,799 I have to be alone with my thoughts. 249 00:08:37,929 --> 00:08:39,757 Oh. 250 00:08:39,844 --> 00:08:42,934 THORFINN: Yes! Pete with arrow in neck! 251 00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:45,763 He has fake girlfriend! 252 00:08:45,894 --> 00:08:48,810 That is most pathetic, Father! [laughs] 253 00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:50,594 Yes, is very embarrassing! 254 00:08:50,725 --> 00:08:52,770 Which is why you must keep secret! 255 00:08:52,857 --> 00:08:54,424 Why would you say that I made up Donna? 256 00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:56,469 Pete. [chuckles] 257 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,734 Just rumor going around. Everyone saying so. 258 00:08:59,908 --> 00:09:02,171 But better question is, 259 00:09:02,345 --> 00:09:05,653 why you listening to Thor's private yellings with son? 260 00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:07,393 Where is this coming from? 261 00:09:07,524 --> 00:09:10,179 Donna is real. She's my girlfriend. 262 00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:13,443 Oh, there you are. 263 00:09:14,357 --> 00:09:15,488 Ow! 264 00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:17,142 What was that sound, Father? 265 00:09:17,273 --> 00:09:20,755 Bjorn miss incredible moment! Will fill in later! 266 00:09:20,885 --> 00:09:21,799 What was that for? 267 00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,366 For your wedding day spectacle 268 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,237 that was rooted in pure fiction. 269 00:09:25,368 --> 00:09:28,414 I left Nigel at the altar based in part 270 00:09:28,545 --> 00:09:30,678 on your tale of this wonderful "Donna." 271 00:09:30,852 --> 00:09:34,246 You fooled me with your pitiful fantasy. 272 00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:36,118 Okay, this has escalated. 273 00:09:36,248 --> 00:09:39,208 I may look laid-back, but this has my dander up. 274 00:09:39,338 --> 00:09:41,384 I kind of feel like he's stepping on my thing, 275 00:09:41,471 --> 00:09:44,126 but we don't have to get into that right now. 276 00:09:44,213 --> 00:09:46,607 Isaac, I would never make up a story like that. 277 00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:49,044 Donna is real. You've got to believe me. 278 00:09:49,174 --> 00:09:51,350 You've gone too far this time, Peter. 279 00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:55,180 Long hair... do care. 280 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:03,972 TREVOR: And tell Jay he needs to do a better job 281 00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:05,669 selling my anecdotes. 282 00:10:05,843 --> 00:10:07,671 Trevor thinks you could seem a little more enthusiastic 283 00:10:07,802 --> 00:10:10,021 - about his stories. - Okay, first of all, that's way too much salt. 284 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,023 And also, he's got to give me something to work with. 285 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,895 That Pauly Shore thing went nowhere. 286 00:10:14,025 --> 00:10:17,072 "Nowhere"? We shared an ice cream in Montauk. 287 00:10:17,246 --> 00:10:18,639 Who is Pauly Shore? 288 00:10:18,769 --> 00:10:20,728 A once-in-a-generation talent, and we went splitsies 289 00:10:20,815 --> 00:10:22,468 on a pint of rocky road, and somehow, 290 00:10:22,599 --> 00:10:25,036 Jay can't even make that interesting. 291 00:10:25,123 --> 00:10:26,690 I got to get back in there. Hey, do you think 292 00:10:26,864 --> 00:10:29,345 I could tell them that the innkeeper lady's into me? 293 00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:30,825 Think it might buy me some cred with the gang. 294 00:10:30,955 --> 00:10:31,826 He's not wrong. 295 00:10:31,956 --> 00:10:33,218 [laughs] Okay, fine. 296 00:10:33,349 --> 00:10:35,264 I guess I could be a little lonely up here, 297 00:10:35,394 --> 00:10:37,048 running this place by myself. 298 00:10:37,135 --> 00:10:38,963 Your character does not need a backstory, Sam. 299 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,183 [squeals] 300 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:45,013 Sorry, I was chatting up that hot innkeeper. 301 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,058 I think she's got a little thing for me. 302 00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:48,669 Take a number, MJ. 303 00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,845 She's been giving me eyes all afternoon. 304 00:10:50,975 --> 00:10:51,889 Really? 305 00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:53,891 - Is no one safe? - BRETT: Okay, 306 00:10:53,978 --> 00:10:55,545 best restaurant in the city right now. 307 00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,547 Oh, Le Cirque. Say Le Cirque. 308 00:10:57,678 --> 00:10:58,983 Trevor says it's Le Cirque. 309 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,290 [sighs] 310 00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:02,683 Ah... what's he doing? 311 00:11:02,813 --> 00:11:05,511 It used to be Le Cirque 20 years ago, 312 00:11:05,642 --> 00:11:08,036 but now I'd say it's Maxfields, 313 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,429 Carbonara, or Tom and Joe's. 314 00:11:10,516 --> 00:11:13,258 Yeah, but those places are impossible to get into. 315 00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:15,696 - Yeah. - Not if you know the chef. 316 00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,915 [laughter] 317 00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:20,396 Okay, he pulled that off, but, Sam, you got to come get him. 318 00:11:20,526 --> 00:11:21,658 We need the earpiece back in. 319 00:11:21,832 --> 00:11:24,966 Uh, uh, Jay. Um, MJ, Michael Jackson. 320 00:11:25,140 --> 00:11:28,056 I can't remember how you said you wanted your steak cooked. 321 00:11:28,143 --> 00:11:29,405 Medium-rare. 322 00:11:29,535 --> 00:11:30,754 [scoffs] SAMANTHA: Well, actually, 323 00:11:30,928 --> 00:11:33,496 could you come show me? Because... 324 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:34,932 [Southern accent]: I'm all alone up here, 325 00:11:35,106 --> 00:11:37,021 and I don't get to talk to many people 326 00:11:37,108 --> 00:11:40,111 since the mill closed. Times have been hard. 327 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,678 Is she doing a Southern accent? 328 00:11:41,852 --> 00:11:44,028 You don't have a character, Sam. 329 00:11:44,115 --> 00:11:46,944 Sure, I'll be right there. 330 00:11:49,077 --> 00:11:50,121 Ooh. 331 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,341 Okay, 332 00:11:52,471 --> 00:11:53,951 can I say what we're all thinking? 333 00:11:54,082 --> 00:11:56,824 [sighs] I am obsessed with MJ. 334 00:11:56,911 --> 00:11:58,303 He rules. 335 00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:00,001 [exhales] ALBERTA: Wow, 336 00:12:00,131 --> 00:12:01,393 - they really like Jay. - TREVOR: Only because I spent 337 00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:03,047 the last month laying the groundwork. 338 00:12:03,134 --> 00:12:04,483 They don't like Jay. 339 00:12:04,614 --> 00:12:07,182 They like Michael Jackson, aka T-Money. 340 00:12:07,356 --> 00:12:08,226 BRETT: What's crazy is, 341 00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:09,488 before this retreat, 342 00:12:09,575 --> 00:12:11,403 I expected Michael to be so lame. 343 00:12:11,490 --> 00:12:12,622 What? 344 00:12:12,709 --> 00:12:14,189 MAGGIE: And old. 345 00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:17,496 His references on Slack were so dated and cringe. 346 00:12:17,627 --> 00:12:19,237 DAVE:I know, he's always talking about that 347 00:12:19,368 --> 00:12:21,849 weird ice-skating rom-com The Cutting Edge. 348 00:12:21,979 --> 00:12:23,938 - Yeah. - That's a great movie. 349 00:12:24,068 --> 00:12:25,635 Forgive me for being cultured. 350 00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:27,071 I was sure he was gonna be, like, 70. 351 00:12:27,202 --> 00:12:28,943 Totally wrong. 352 00:12:29,073 --> 00:12:29,813 BRETT:Yeah, it turns out he's not some 353 00:12:29,944 --> 00:12:31,423 weird old geezer after all. 354 00:12:31,510 --> 00:12:32,773 Geezer? 355 00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:34,426 Don't listen to them, Trev. 356 00:12:34,557 --> 00:12:37,038 Thor think Le Cirque very cool. 357 00:12:38,387 --> 00:12:40,302 Whatever. Screw this. 358 00:12:42,086 --> 00:12:44,001 [Southern accent]: I got the first course for y'all. 359 00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:47,788 It's a corn chowder just like Meemaw used to make. 360 00:12:47,962 --> 00:12:49,659 That was before the war, 361 00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,793 before the winds of change swept through our little farmstead. 362 00:12:52,923 --> 00:12:55,317 You know, I was out, but I'm back in. 363 00:12:55,447 --> 00:12:57,928 My girl's painting a picture. [chuckles] 364 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,282 SAMANTHA: Hey. 365 00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:06,154 Thor and Alberta told us what happened. 366 00:13:06,284 --> 00:13:07,677 Are you doing okay? 367 00:13:07,808 --> 00:13:09,461 If it makes you feel better, it's not your fault. 368 00:13:09,592 --> 00:13:10,854 I'm just really charming and likable. 369 00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:13,291 Jay. I'm just quoting the Brettinator. 370 00:13:13,422 --> 00:13:15,772 I just feel like such a fool. 371 00:13:15,903 --> 00:13:18,035 I thought this job was 372 00:13:18,209 --> 00:13:20,690 my chance to relive my glory days, 373 00:13:20,864 --> 00:13:22,648 to pick up where I left off, 374 00:13:22,823 --> 00:13:24,694 but the truth is, it's too late. 375 00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:27,218 The parade has passed me by. 376 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:30,395 If it help... parade also pass by Thor. 377 00:13:30,482 --> 00:13:32,397 Did not know there was parade. 378 00:13:32,571 --> 00:13:33,964 Did you see parade? 379 00:13:34,095 --> 00:13:36,662 Well, you still have the job. 380 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,795 You could still do your trading and stuff. 381 00:13:38,926 --> 00:13:40,928 It wasn't about the job. 382 00:13:41,102 --> 00:13:43,887 When I was alive, I was on my way to being someone, 383 00:13:44,018 --> 00:13:46,716 to making a mark, to becoming a legend. 384 00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:50,459 But now I'm just some dead guy that nobody remembers. 385 00:13:57,031 --> 00:13:59,772 Look, Trevor, here's the thing. 386 00:13:59,903 --> 00:14:00,861 He's gone, Jay. 387 00:14:00,991 --> 00:14:02,558 Can you just let me make my point? 388 00:14:02,645 --> 00:14:03,907 Who does it hurt? 389 00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:06,605 In my day I see many die before their time. 390 00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:07,998 Such as Agnar, 391 00:14:08,085 --> 00:14:11,088 who had intestines ripped out through sphincter. 392 00:14:11,175 --> 00:14:14,700 And Gunhild, who was fed own eyeballs and beheaded. 393 00:14:14,831 --> 00:14:16,789 I could go on. Please don't. 394 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,575 Feel like posting an update, babe? 395 00:14:19,662 --> 00:14:22,099 Trevor feels like he never got the chance to make his mark. 396 00:14:22,273 --> 00:14:23,971 Because he died so young. 397 00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:26,103 And he's starting to realize he never will. 398 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:28,845 And then Thor tell very relevant sphincter story. 399 00:14:28,932 --> 00:14:30,455 Please convey. 400 00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,893 Yeah, I imagine that must be really hard for Trevor. 401 00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:35,112 Oh, man, now I'm feeling bad 402 00:14:35,199 --> 00:14:37,201 for the ghost that wanted to sleep with my sister. 403 00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,290 I just wish there was something we could do. 404 00:14:40,944 --> 00:14:42,337 I think I might have an idea. 405 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,513 Name of sphincter victim was Agnar, 406 00:14:44,643 --> 00:14:46,515 in case have trouble recalling. 407 00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:52,347 Peter, can we talk to you for a moment? 408 00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,697 Sure, but I'm pretty cheesed off. 409 00:14:54,784 --> 00:14:57,134 I'm gonna figure out what sick, twisted person 410 00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:59,484 started this rumor, and I'm gonna slap them. 411 00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:00,659 With my words. 412 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,270 Using constructive conversation. 413 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,967 We have 414 00:15:04,098 --> 00:15:07,710 a confession to make, Peter. 415 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,060 We were the ones that started that rumor about Donna. 416 00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:11,061 What? 417 00:15:11,192 --> 00:15:12,497 Why would you do that? 418 00:15:13,716 --> 00:15:16,197 We were bored, and it seemed fun. 419 00:15:16,327 --> 00:15:17,502 But why me? 420 00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:19,200 Well, to be honest, I think we might've been 421 00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:20,766 a little jealous of your power. 422 00:15:20,941 --> 00:15:22,507 We're very happy for you, 423 00:15:22,594 --> 00:15:24,509 but it's not easy hearing about your escapades. 424 00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,337 And then the "Buda-pesht" of it all, 425 00:15:26,424 --> 00:15:28,774 kind of felt like you were asking for it. 426 00:15:28,905 --> 00:15:30,559 Ah, darn it. 427 00:15:30,689 --> 00:15:33,605 I got so caught up in my hectic boundary-crossing lifestyle, 428 00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,781 I didn't take time to think about 429 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,827 how my travel talk affects the housebounds. 430 00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:39,698 That's what I call regular ghosts. 431 00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:41,613 - Cool. - It can't be easy 432 00:15:41,744 --> 00:15:44,181 for Donna either, dating a 100% free-range. 433 00:15:44,355 --> 00:15:45,400 That's what I call myself. 434 00:15:45,574 --> 00:15:47,793 Well, that notwithstanding, 435 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,753 again, what we did was wrong, and we are very sorry. 436 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,885 A-And don't worry, we will tell everyone that we were 437 00:15:52,973 --> 00:15:54,670 the ones that spread the vicious rumor. 438 00:15:54,844 --> 00:15:55,888 Yeah, man, I'm sorry. 439 00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:57,194 [sighs] Thanks, I appreciate it, 440 00:15:57,325 --> 00:15:59,022 but I feel like the damage is done. 441 00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:01,285 I mean, how can I prove that Donna's real? 442 00:16:01,416 --> 00:16:02,808 She can't come here. 443 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,549 You guys clearly can't go there. 444 00:16:04,636 --> 00:16:06,073 I'm the only one with the almost 445 00:16:06,247 --> 00:16:07,726 magical ability to move between different-- 446 00:16:07,857 --> 00:16:09,772 Okay, yeah, I'm hearing it now. 447 00:16:09,859 --> 00:16:11,600 Ooh, this is a great retreat. 448 00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:13,732 From the highs of getting wasted 449 00:16:13,863 --> 00:16:16,170 with you all last night to the lows of Dave 450 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,476 wimping out and staying faithful 451 00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:20,217 - to his fiancée. - MAGGIE: Nice shirt, Dave. 452 00:16:20,391 --> 00:16:22,219 Do they make that in a men's version? 453 00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:23,438 [laughs] 454 00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:26,484 Maggie call Dave woman in most humorous manner. 455 00:16:26,615 --> 00:16:28,486 [bell ringing] 456 00:16:28,617 --> 00:16:30,053 I'd like to say a few words. 457 00:16:30,227 --> 00:16:31,707 You're the man, MJ. 458 00:16:31,881 --> 00:16:33,926 Cool, glad they love Jay. 459 00:16:34,057 --> 00:16:35,015 And just keep listening. 460 00:16:35,145 --> 00:16:37,365 It's true, I am the man. [chuckles] 461 00:16:37,452 --> 00:16:39,584 [laughter] 462 00:16:39,671 --> 00:16:44,067 But it's only because I had the best mentor. 463 00:16:44,154 --> 00:16:47,984 A legend by the name of Trevor Lefkowitz. 464 00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:49,377 What? 465 00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:50,726 JAY: He taught me everything I know about 466 00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:53,163 finance and hot chicks 467 00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:56,471 and underrated rom-com The Cutting Edge. 468 00:16:56,645 --> 00:16:58,255 Trevor Lefkowitz? 469 00:16:58,429 --> 00:16:59,909 You mean T-Money? 470 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:03,956 You know him? 471 00:17:04,044 --> 00:17:06,698 We all know Trevor Lefkowitz. 472 00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:08,613 - They do? - You do? 473 00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:11,573 Sorry. Can I get you guys anything? 474 00:17:11,703 --> 00:17:13,879 Hey, what happened to your accent? 475 00:17:14,054 --> 00:17:16,056 Oh. 476 00:17:16,143 --> 00:17:18,710 That was my twin sister Daisy May. 477 00:17:18,841 --> 00:17:21,626 We were separated at birth, but now 478 00:17:21,757 --> 00:17:23,324 we run an inn together. 479 00:17:23,498 --> 00:17:25,282 She's a laid-back country gal 480 00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:27,763 and I'm a go-go city slicker, but somehow it works. 481 00:17:27,937 --> 00:17:29,156 Who is this for, Sam? 482 00:17:29,286 --> 00:17:31,984 Anyway, how do you guys know T-Money? 483 00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:34,248 MAGGIE: Well, we don't know him personally, 484 00:17:34,335 --> 00:17:36,206 but we know the legend. 485 00:17:36,337 --> 00:17:37,251 Back in the day, 486 00:17:37,338 --> 00:17:39,122 Trevor gave his pants 487 00:17:39,253 --> 00:17:41,342 to a junior trader named Pinkus 488 00:17:41,429 --> 00:17:44,345 during a hazing ritual known as the Run of Fun. 489 00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:46,260 True hero move on Trevor's part. 490 00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:48,436 DAVE: And Pinkus was forever grateful. 491 00:17:48,566 --> 00:17:51,308 When he started his own firm, he banned hazing, 492 00:17:51,395 --> 00:17:53,223 and then passed the story down to his mentees. 493 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:55,095 They passed it down to us. Aw. 494 00:17:55,269 --> 00:17:57,880 T-Money changed the game. 495 00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:00,056 That's incredible. 496 00:18:00,143 --> 00:18:01,927 He was hot, too. Mm. 497 00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:04,234 It just keeps getting better. 498 00:18:04,408 --> 00:18:05,801 How's that for leaving a mark, Trev? 499 00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:07,977 BRETT: We still do the Run of Fun to this day, 500 00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:13,025 but now it's a fun tribute to Trevor and his legacy. 501 00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:15,680 They don't like you, Trevor. 502 00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:17,508 They idolize you. 503 00:18:19,989 --> 00:18:21,773 Wait, how could Trevor be your mentor? 504 00:18:21,904 --> 00:18:23,340 Wouldn't you have been a teenager 505 00:18:23,471 --> 00:18:24,515 when he died? 506 00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:26,822 Oh, he was a family friend, and, uh, 507 00:18:26,996 --> 00:18:28,998 I was very advanced. 508 00:18:29,129 --> 00:18:31,609 Like... [whooshes] The timing works. 509 00:18:31,783 --> 00:18:32,958 On the count of three. 510 00:18:33,133 --> 00:18:34,830 One, two, three. 511 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,571 ALL: T-Money! 512 00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:41,141 ♪ And I say hey-ey-ey ♪ 513 00:18:41,315 --> 00:18:43,621 ♪ Hey-ey-ey ♪ 514 00:18:43,752 --> 00:18:45,493 ♪ I said hey... ♪ 515 00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:47,843 [chuckles] Trevor looks so happy. 516 00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:49,192 Good for him. 517 00:18:49,366 --> 00:18:50,672 [all groan] 518 00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:53,153 That shirt really hikes up when he's running, huh? 519 00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:55,285 Wonder if they make that shirt in lady version. 520 00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:56,286 [laughs] 521 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,983 Wait. 522 00:18:58,723 --> 00:18:59,681 I'm going in. 523 00:18:59,768 --> 00:19:00,725 What? 524 00:19:00,856 --> 00:19:02,205 My hair looks too good 525 00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:03,946 not to be flowing in the breeze. 526 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:09,169 ♪ And I say hey-ey-ey ♪ 527 00:19:09,299 --> 00:19:12,389 ♪ Hey-ey-ey ♪ 528 00:19:12,563 --> 00:19:14,739 ♪ I said hey ♪ 529 00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:18,221 ♪ What's going on? ♪ 530 00:19:25,228 --> 00:19:26,534 SAMANTHA: Well, Pete, I did a little research for you, 531 00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:28,797 and I managed to find some articles about Donna. 532 00:19:28,927 --> 00:19:30,059 She's real, all right. 533 00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:32,409 See, I told you.[laughs] 534 00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:34,237 Wait, why are there articles about her? 535 00:19:34,368 --> 00:19:36,457 Because she sort of murdered her husband 536 00:19:36,587 --> 00:19:37,849 and fled to the Caribbean. 537 00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,721 Really? 538 00:19:39,851 --> 00:19:41,288 Oh, shoot. 539 00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:43,028 Yeah, there's actually an episode of a show 540 00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:45,466 called Vicious Vixens that delves into the whole situation. 541 00:19:45,596 --> 00:19:47,381 You guys want to watch? 542 00:19:47,555 --> 00:19:48,860 Uh, no, we don't want to watch an episode 543 00:19:48,991 --> 00:19:50,601 about Pete's psychotic murdering girlfriend. 544 00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:51,994 Play it. 545 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:57,913 NARRATOR [on TV]: They called her the Slaying Mantis. 546 00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,958 Ooh, that's clever. 547 00:20:00,089 --> 00:20:01,525 A cold-blooded killer. 548 00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:02,700 [man on TV screaming] 549 00:20:02,831 --> 00:20:04,093 Whoa, a pitchfork? 550 00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,747 Didn't see that coming. 551 00:20:05,877 --> 00:20:06,922 Neither did Gerald, apparently. 552 00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:09,403 NANCY: Do you know Pete? 553 00:20:09,577 --> 00:20:12,188 The guy with the arrow through his neck? 554 00:20:12,362 --> 00:20:14,277 JUDY: Yeah, what about him? 555 00:20:14,408 --> 00:20:18,325 Rumor has it, his hair is actually some type of wig. 556 00:20:18,499 --> 00:20:21,284 Interesting. I would buy that. 557 00:20:21,415 --> 00:20:24,635 NANCY: Some are saying it may even be made out of Lego. 558 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,681 Did you guys start that rumor, too? 559 00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:28,987 Oh... yeah. 560 00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:30,598 We didn't... we didn't know 561 00:20:30,728 --> 00:20:32,295 if the Donna rumor would-would get traction. 562 00:20:32,426 --> 00:20:35,080 So we started the hair thing as a hedge. 563 00:20:35,211 --> 00:20:38,127 JUDY: What a sad loser. 564 00:20:38,258 --> 00:20:39,781 NANCY: Seriously! It's like, 565 00:20:39,911 --> 00:20:42,262 get an afterlife, you freak! 566 00:20:47,397 --> 00:20:49,747 Captioning sponsored by CBS 567 00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:52,750 and TOYOTA. 568 00:20:52,924 --> 00:20:55,536 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 38456

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