Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,320
CATTLE GRID RATTLES
2
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:13,480
Shit!
3
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:17,120
ENGINE SPUTTERS
4
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,400
ENGINE STOPS
5
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:31,440
Now, then, I shall need this van
moved immediately.
6
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,680
Yeah, sorry. I think I must have hit
something on the cattle grid.
7
00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:37,880
I can't have a smoking vehicle
on the driveway.
8
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,280
And you are?
9
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,720
Sorry. I'm the cleaner. I'm Wicky.
The police sent me.
10
00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,440
Very good. Now, first things first,
11
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,440
take this round
to the garage at the back.
12
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,520
I think I'm going to have to get
the roadside assistance out
13
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,760
or something, you know?
14
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,000
After I've signed up for one
and pretended it's just happened.
15
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,400
You know what I'm...
16
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,320
No. There's no need! Jibbers will
take care of it for you.
17
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,600
He's quite capable. He's looked
after all our cars for years.
18
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,520
Oh. I'll take the van round
to Jibbers.
19
00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,040
Sorry, you are...?
20
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,920
I'm Mrs Barton. The housekeeper.
21
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,720
You run this whole place?!
22
00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,760
Oh, yes.
You don't look old enough.
23
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,520
I took over from my mother,
24
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,920
and I can assure you that I follow
her same exacting standards.
25
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,280
Well, I'm sure she feels very proud.
26
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:25,640
She feels nothing at all.
27
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,520
Her neck was snapped
when she fell from a stallion.
28
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,480
Now, the job itself is over here.
29
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,920
Blimey. Someone took a tumble.
30
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,280
The estate agent.
31
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,560
Ah, the old bad suit
and pointy shoe brigade, eh?
32
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:59,280
Mm-hm. Clumsy oaf fell
out of a window during a valuation.
33
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,280
He's quite dead, of course.
34
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:03,080
Of course. Poor thing.
35
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,640
Hey, how much is the place, then?
I'm looking for a weekend gaff.
36
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,920
He was conducting a valuation
for tax purposes only.
37
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,760
Rosewood Hall is not for sale.
38
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,160
Madam, fear not.
39
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,280
I was recently told
I had insufficient funds
40
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,000
when I attempted to purchase...
41
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,560
..bacon.
42
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,920
Oh, you were joking.
43
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,040
Well, Lady Rice-Phillips
will not share your humour -
44
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,120
she has very little time
for tradesmen.
45
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,880
Oh.
46
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,560
Hey, I've never met a lady
of the manor before. Is she in?
47
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,960
She's returning tonight
after vacationing in Provence.
48
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,280
We are having a very
distinguished guest to dinner. Hm!
49
00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,120
I presume you'll need water,
so I'll bring a bucket out.
50
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,160
M'lady.
51
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,160
You'll enjoy elevenses?
52
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,280
Will I?
Hot scones, tea, fresh cream.
53
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,760
Then I shall enjoy elevenses
very much!
54
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:51,640
I shan't refuse tenses.
55
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,560
I'm not going to knock nineses
out of your hand.
56
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,800
Right, I'll have Tippy
bring it out to you.
57
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,960
Now, pay no heed to her shyness,
58
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,520
I fear the girl was kicked
in the head by a horse as an infant.
59
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,080
Then Tippy and I
will get on famously.
60
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,560
A pony once tried
to bite my tit off.
61
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,240
I'll take the van rounds to Jibbers.
62
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,600
Jibbers?
63
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,520
HE COUGHS
64
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,880
OK, Mr Estate Agent,
let's get you cleaned up.
65
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,240
Why do they wear these pointy shoes?
66
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,480
Oh!
67
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,800
Are you Tippy?
68
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,080
Ye...yes, sir.
69
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,960
Can't stop -
Cook needs me in t'kitchen.
70
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,960
Bye-bye! Enjoy your scone!
71
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,680
Bloody hell.
72
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,040
That's not a scone, Tippy,
it's eczema.
73
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,200
HE GAGS
74
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,680
OFF-Oi, where have you been?
75
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:54,160
I'm sorry, Cook. Mrs Barton
wanted me to take scones to the man.
76
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,360
Mrs Barton will be first to complain
77
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,320
if there's not food
on t'table tonight.
78
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,760
So get yourself over to that soup
and keep it moving,
79
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,320
cos if it burns
it'll all be for t'sink.
80
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,640
Yes, Cook.
CLATTERING
81
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,640
And concentrate, girl!
82
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,160
You've the attention span
of a bloody moth.
83
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,840
Poor little moth girl!
SIZZLING
84
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,880
Ow! You burned my hand on the ladle!
85
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,000
HE GASPS
86
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,560
Cook's a monster!
87
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,680
You get out my kitchen,
you great big wobble.
88
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,520
You're mean to me!
WHIMPERING
89
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,720
Hey! You get back here!
90
00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:29,800
Hello?
91
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,280
I just needed some water.
92
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,280
Huh. Guess I'll get it myself, then.
93
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,600
OFF-Oh, I've heard
all about your prize cow, John,
94
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,160
but it's rabbits for dinner
Cook needs.
95
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,640
We have very important mouths
to feed, as well you know.
96
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,760
No, listen! John!
97
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,400
I've been waiting to hear
the sound of a gunshot all morning.
98
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,960
Yes, I hear
what you're saying but...
99
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,080
SHE CLICKS HER FINGERS
100
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,120
Don't start blabbering on about
what a good shot you are, man.
101
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,480
You've the wrong audience for that.
102
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,440
Save that for
your cross-eyed friends at the pub.
103
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,760
Thank you!
104
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,200
Oh, John Church, our gamekeeper,
spends his days murdering wildlife
105
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,400
except for when
I actually need him to.
106
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,400
Oh! He sounds delightful.
107
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,280
How far off are you?
I'm nearly done.
108
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,000
I just need to get
the blood off the windowsill
109
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,920
upstairs in the bedroom... NO!
110
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,080
No?
111
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,880
That is her ladyship's
personal bedroom
112
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,280
and she wouldn't thank me
for sending a man in there
113
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,960
to snoop around in it.
114
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,320
Good day.
115
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,480
Oh!
116
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,160
Oh, OK.
117
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,400
If you're looking
for an emotional goodbye,
118
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,680
then I'm afraid
you've come to the wrong place.
119
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,640
I didn't shed so much as a tear
when my own father died.
120
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,600
Or my mother.
121
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,080
She was a brutal woman
and he was a drunk.
122
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,720
Good day.
123
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:09,800
HE SIGHS
124
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,120
CLANGING
125
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,600
ENGINE FIZZES AND HISSES
126
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,200
Bleeding hell!
Who gave this an MOT?!
127
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,000
CLANGING
The state of this.
128
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,160
What the hell?! Bastard!
129
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,080
Jibbers! What have you done?
It's ruined!
130
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,520
Oh! Get lost!
131
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,600
Tell me to get lost,
you've wrecked my van!
132
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,680
Get lost!
133
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,240
Well, the Ricey lady is paying for
this! I'll tell you that much! So...
134
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,000
Right...
135
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,280
Right, Jibbers has totally f...
136
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,600
SCRAPING AND HEAVY FOOTSTEPS
137
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,600
Hello?
138
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,840
WIND WHISTLES
139
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,760
Eh? I thought she was on holiday.
140
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,480
Fu...
141
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,280
You shouldn't
ought to be in here.
142
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,680
Tippy?
143
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:13,480
Now, I'm supposed to be
in the kitchen preparing the rabbit.
144
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,800
Holy shit!
145
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,280
You're...
146
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,120
..and...
147
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,440
This is Lady Rice-Phillips's
personal chambers.
148
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,400
And Mrs Barton says
that being in here
149
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,800
is like sniffing a ladies
undergarments. It's private!
150
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,640
Oh. Well, that's fine...
151
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:39,000
..because I've finished my work now
and I'm going to go.
152
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,480
Cos my girlfriend's taking me to
153
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,960
a beeeeef...
154
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,920
A beef? What's a beef?
155
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,400
You know the beef...dance?
156
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,520
A beef dance?
157
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,280
Yeah, it's....
158
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,000
Now, how will you get home?
159
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,480
Jibbers told me that he's having
terrible trouble with your car.
160
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,200
He said,
"All its guts have come out."
161
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,040
Aw.
HE CHUCKLES
162
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,320
I'm going to walk.
163
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,560
It's 13 miles
to the nearest town, you know.
164
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,840
Oh, bollocks. Is it?
165
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:13,840
Oh, yes. I do it every Thursday
to get spices and whatnot for Cook
166
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,440
and I have to do toilet in a hedge.
167
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:17,880
Oh.
168
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,840
They don't take you in the car, no?
169
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,200
The one in the garage?
170
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:27,480
No, no. Mrs Barton said that
the big car is just for Lady Rice.
171
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,400
Jibbers keeps the keys
safe in his garage.
172
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,440
Well, I'm going to walk
and do toilet in a hedge. Bye.
173
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:38,240
Now, Mrs Barton will want to
check your work before you leave,
174
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:42,640
and she has very exacting standards.
175
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,160
Yeah.
176
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,840
I know.
177
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,760
And that's why she's not going to be
very pleased with you.
178
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,560
What?
179
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,120
Look at the state of that...
180
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,120
..bed?
181
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,760
What, why?
182
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,520
Oh, the corners aren't turned down.
Oh, no.
183
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,480
Oh, no. Oh, I'm sorry.
184
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,720
I won't tell her, though. Sorry.
185
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,200
Whoa.
186
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,320
Where would Jibbers keep keys?
187
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,280
Look behind the curtain, Dorothy!
There is no Jibbers!
188
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,960
Ah! Jibbers, you imaginary prick.
189
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:27,360
My name is John Church
and while I'm gamekeeper here,
190
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,480
no thief
will leave the grounds alive.
191
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,280
Shit in my hand!
192
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,000
I was only borrowing it.
193
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,320
I was going to bring it back.
194
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,240
Yeah? And if crows can nest
in Buckingham Palace,
195
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,880
they'd eat pearl instead of seed.
196
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,800
Oh, yeah, cos that makes sense,
doesn't it? You sick fuck!
197
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,440
Right, down.
198
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,640
Now, Mrs Barton will not take kindly
199
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,320
to there being a common thief
in the grounds.
200
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,400
Look, I don't know
what's going on here.
201
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:03,840
You save it! She'll deal with you
when she's good and ready.
202
00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,040
Or I will.
203
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,600
THEY GRUNT
204
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,680
THEY CHUCKLE
205
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,040
THEY GIGGLE
206
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,200
HE TAPS THE SWITCHHOOK
207
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,720
Gah! Of course it's dead.
208
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,240
Argh! Argh!
209
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,200
Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh!
210
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,600
Damn you, Burger King!
211
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,680
Damn you to hell!
212
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:49,800
Ugh!
213
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,440
What'll happen to
him, Mrs Barton?
214
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,040
I don't think he meant any harm.
215
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,720
Oh, turned your head, did he?
216
00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,360
You'd do well to take this
as a life lesson, young lady.
217
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,200
Or would you like to end up
heavily pregnant? Hmm?
218
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,280
The spawn of an outsized hoodlum
growing within you?
219
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,480
She couldn't care for a littl'un!
220
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,560
She's had only brains
she were born with
221
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,560
hoofed from her head by Mr Pickles.
222
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,280
Why's she always
so mean to me?
223
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,240
Lady Rice-Phillips
is due any time
224
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,040
and she does not want to witness
two northern cats brawling,
225
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,440
especially with
Lord Palmeston's visit.
226
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,520
DOOR OPENS
227
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,200
Well, well, well.
228
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,520
This is quite the state of affairs,
isn't it?
229
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,760
You're telling me!
230
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,720
Look, I was only borrowing the car!
231
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,840
And it was wrong, I'm sorry.
232
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,560
OK? Let me go. I'll walk home
233
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,000
and I will never come back,
all right?
234
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,440
You just be thankful I didn't let
John Church dispense justice!
235
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,360
Yes, I suppose I should be thankful
that I'm not being held captive
236
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,880
by someone
who's howling fucking mad!
237
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,320
Huh! You...!
238
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,040
Now, you pay no attention to him,
John.
239
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,560
The criminal mind
is a cauldron of rage.
240
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,600
I'll happily deal with him, ma'am.
241
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,080
No, no, no, no, no.
242
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,600
There's no need
for extreme measures, John.
243
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,160
Not yet, anyway.
244
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,720
She's here, she's here! Woo!
245
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,760
Let me out!
246
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,640
Let me out, you fucking nutter!
247
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,680
Eurgh!
248
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,000
Lady Rice-Phillips,
249
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,240
may I be the first to
welcome you back to Rosewood Hall.
250
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,120
LADY RICE-Ah. I take it
Viscount Palmeston has confirmed?
251
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,040
Oh, yes, indeed, ma'am.
252
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,280
LADY RICE-Good.
We have matters to discuss.
253
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,600
BANGING ON DOOR
254
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:49,120
What is all this fuss
in here? I don't have time for...
255
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,280
Good day to you.
256
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,360
Where did you get that hat?
257
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,680
Where did I get my own hat?
258
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,600
Why, from, er...
259
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,040
..from my own home!
260
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,200
From your home?
261
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:14,400
Do you not recognise me, Mrs Barton?
262
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:19,080
It has been a few years,
but I would have thought that...
263
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:25,040
..Viscount Palmeston
would not be a total stranger.
264
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,200
SHE GASPS
265
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,560
Ooh, Meirion!
266
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,720
Meirion?!
267
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,480
That's my first name?!
268
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,760
Yeah, er...
269
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:46,520
Yes, it is I - Meirion.
270
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,920
But what were you doing in there?
271
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,040
We had a petty criminal locked in!
272
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,360
Yes, I saw the braggard
leap through the window.
273
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:09,080
Naturally, I followed through to see
if he had stolen any antiquities.
274
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,640
Through the window?!
That seems impossible.
275
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,440
He was grossly overweight.
276
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,720
He was perhaps a little rotund.
277
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,640
Oh, Meirion, he was grotesque.
278
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,720
Hugely tall, but terribly unfit.
279
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,040
He can't have gone far.
280
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,760
Well, you say that,
but I did see him run away
281
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,600
and he was fair
like an Olympic sprinter,
282
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,680
so perhaps one shouldn't be
quite so quick to judge.
283
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,840
He really was... He was quite fast.
284
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,760
The important thing is you're here.
285
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,680
Lady Rice is so looking forward
to seeing you.
286
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,240
Yes, I just need to pop to my car.
287
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,520
But, why?
288
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,680
I wish to get my pipe.
289
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,680
You don't smoke a pipe, Meirion.
290
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,040
No. No, I don't.
291
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,520
It is not a smoking pipe
I wish to get, it is...
292
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,240
..a horn. A horn?!
293
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,880
Yes.
294
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:06,000
An alpine horn
from my travels in the...
295
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,360
..Alpine.
296
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,640
I shall be playing
for Lady Rice, so...
297
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,040
Oh, wow. You're very cultured!
DOOR RATTLES
298
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:15,880
But I'm afraid for your safety I've
locked all the doors and windows.
299
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,960
What? Why?!
300
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,640
Oh, yes, and Tippy took
the cad's phone, so he will return,
301
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,360
but John Church
will take care of him.
302
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,440
He's been told to maim on sight.
303
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,840
Now, the Lady
will be down imminently.
304
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,960
Wait till you see what Cook's done.
305
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,920
She's made your favourite -
306
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,520
battered rabbit.
307
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,080
The fuck?!
308
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:44,280
Seriously, I really would like
to speak to Tippy, if I may?
309
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,760
BELL TINKLES
310
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,480
Oh! The lady is ready!
311
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,760
Now, I hear that you two
312
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,560
have matters of great importance
to discuss!
313
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,040
Yes, but before you go,
before you go,
314
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,400
I would just like to speak to Tippy.
315
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,000
Heed my cry!
316
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,440
HEED MY CRY!
317
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:04,920
HE GRUNTS
318
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,360
HE WHIMPERS
319
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:19,880
OFF-Distinguished guests,
Rosewood Hall is delighted
320
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:24,240
for you to welcome your host
for this most special of evenings -
321
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,120
Lady Rice-Phillips.
322
00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:31,720
Duo Des Fleurs
by Leo Delibes
323
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:35,040
Oh, my fucking God.
324
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,400
Oh, Meirion.
325
00:19:54,400 --> 00:20:00,440
France was so cold without you there
to warm our spirits.
326
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,960
SHE GIGGLES
327
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,640
Look!
328
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,160
We really have got to talk.
329
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,080
You know fine well, Meirion,
330
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,960
that we have matters of great
importance to discuss,
331
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,680
but not in front of the staff.
332
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:21,320
No, they do not share
our intellectual capabilities.
333
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,560
Now, you must be famished.
334
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,000
I shouldn't ruin the surprise,
335
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,360
but I've heard that cook
has prepared...
336
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:30,680
Yeah, she's battered
a fucking rabbit. I've seen it.
337
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,680
Oh! Naughty Merion!
338
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:36,840
Shall we?
339
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,440
All right. You want to get crazy?
340
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,920
Let's get crazy.
341
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,960
Oh!
342
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,640
Duo Des Fleurs
by Leo Delibes
343
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,800
Oh, Meirion, what is that scent?
344
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,920
You smell as divine as ever.
345
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,640
It's a mixture of Lynx and fear.
346
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:24,000
Oh. Look, what do you want?
347
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,520
Oh, Meirion.
348
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,880
It shames me to say this but...
349
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,720
..I am bankrupted.
350
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:37,320
I need your help
to save my beloved Rosewood Hall.
351
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:40,640
Now, what I want is a union
352
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,280
betwixt our two great houses.
353
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,880
I've only got a flat.
354
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,600
And it's rented!
355
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:52,840
You're right, my darling,
of course you are.
356
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,760
Our fortunes are misaligned.
357
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:56,800
Oh.
358
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:02,960
So I can shoot, can I?
If that's, er...
359
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,400
..cool?
360
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,400
I'll, er...
361
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,920
I'll pop off.
362
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,480
Yes, you're right.
363
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,720
This isn't about money.
364
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:18,240
This is about love.
365
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:19,720
RECORD STOPS
366
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:20,760
What?!
367
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,000
CROCKERY CLATTERS
368
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,720
Argh!
369
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,480
Hey!
370
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,400
Argh! Forgive me, I was foolish.
371
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,520
I should never have spoke of money!
372
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,480
Take me, fill me up
as you did in Marrakech.
373
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:43,240
Tippy! Tippy!
374
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,960
Plunder my garden, Meirion.
375
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:47,800
Argh! Tippy!
376
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,520
Take me! Oh, it's like mahogany.
377
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,280
TIPPPPPYYYY!
378
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,720
Begging your pardon,
M'lady,
379
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,640
I-I just wondered if I could
speak to the gentleman?
380
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,760
AS LADY RICE-
Well, this is highly irregular.
381
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,520
Oh, I'm sorry, your ladyship.
382
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,000
AS LADY RICE-
Well, be quick, child!
383
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:24,520
Come here!
384
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,240
Tippy, what the hell's going on?
385
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,840
I know you're not Lord Palmeston.
386
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,000
You're in grave danger.
387
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,920
But there's been enough death
in this house already.
388
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,760
I can't let it go on.
389
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,800
Tippy, get my phone!
390
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,000
OK. I'll get it.
391
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,120
You dance with the lady.
392
00:23:49,120 --> 00:23:51,000
Yeah. Good girl.
393
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,760
HE HUMS
394
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:01,720
DOOR CLOSES
395
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,680
What the f...!
396
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,400
LADY RICE-
Tippy, what are you doing?
397
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,800
Get thee back here, lass, and
I'll put thee hands in t'toaster.
398
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,680
Is that what you want, girl,
toasted hands?
399
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,840
Let the girl in, I say!
400
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,200
Argh!
401
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,640
Get back in there, you swine!
402
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:32,720
Lady Rice, we have an impostor
in our midst!
403
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,120
AS LADY RICE-
Whatever do you mean, Church?
404
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,840
This is not Viscount Palmeston!
405
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,400
AS LADY RICE-
Ah! Well, who the hell are you?
406
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,560
This villain has fooled us all!
407
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,400
I'm very sorry,
your ladyship,
408
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,920
but his disguise was flawless.
409
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,760
Please! Put the gun down.
410
00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,400
EAST-I say, we do him.
Here and now!
411
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,520
Who the hell are you?
412
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,280
Jibbers, that's not helpful.
413
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,880
Jibbers, you've got a fucking nerve.
414
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,360
Don't use that kind
of language in front of her ladyship
415
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:10,200
or I'll blow that dirty mouth
clean off.
416
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,080
Your ladyship, I
think that might be the best option.
417
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,120
AS LADY RICE-Yes,
Mrs Barton, I fear you may be right.
418
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,160
Oh, I can't watch!
419
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:19,200
Watch what?
420
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,480
Please!
421
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:23,720
Put the gun down.
422
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,840
No! I can help!
I can help all of you!
423
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,680
It's a trick!
424
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,480
Just finish him.
425
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,600
Tippy!
426
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,440
Just get on with it, Church!
427
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,800
Tippy, Tippy, come back!
428
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,680
AS LADY RICE-
Just get on with it, man!
429
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,200
No, please! Tippy!
430
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,120
I'm trying!
431
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:41,360
AS LADY RICE-Tippy!
432
00:25:41,360 --> 00:25:44,520
I don't know what to do.
433
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,000
Tippy! Come back!
434
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,840
OH, NO! NO!
435
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,840
HE GASPS
436
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,360
Oh...
437
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,080
Tippy, thank God.
438
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,080
There is no Tippy!
439
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,440
There is no anyone.
440
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:08,760
Well...
441
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,560
..I dread to ask who you are.
442
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,520
I'm Sue.
443
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,040
SHE SIGHS
444
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,760
Did you call them, then? The police?
445
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,520
I had to.
446
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,160
How did you end up here?
447
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,520
The house?
448
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:37,560
Yeah.
449
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,200
It was on my post round.
450
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,120
I used to deliver here all the time
451
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,440
But how did you end up living here?
452
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,040
Knew this place was empty.
453
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,560
I just thought that it would be
good for a while. You know?
454
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,640
Just till I got myself together.
455
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,840
But, to be honest,
just watched too much Downton.
456
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,800
What happened,
with the estate agent? Did you...?
457
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,240
I'll have to tell them.
458
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,880
SHE INHALES SHAKILY
459
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,600
I couldn't let him
sell it.
460
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,280
I've got nowhere else to go.
461
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:25,880
I know people.
462
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,160
They'll give you a nice new house.
463
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,360
They'll let you help in the kitchen.
464
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,760
SHE GASPS
465
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,520
Will I make battered rabbit?
466
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,280
Maybe.
467
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,120
POLICE SIREN CHIRPS
468
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,000
CAR DOOR CLOSES
469
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,600
PHONE BUZZES
470
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,640
All right? Did you get the pin?
Yeah.
471
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,960
Just come and get me.
472
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,520
Nothing's wrong.
The van's just broken down.
473
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,800
Yeah, all right, Ruth,
I was taken hostage.
474
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:24,560
Yes, again! She had a gun.
475
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,400
No, a real one this time.
476
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:27,840
Are you laughing?
477
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,520
Just come and get me, will you?
33292
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof