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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,320
Your jobs are just getting weirder.
2
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:04,840
A lighthouse?!
3
00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,480
A lighthouse!
Off the coast of Ireland!
4
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,000
And get this - I don't even have
to clean any blood up!
5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,760
One of the lighthouse
keepers went missing.
6
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,120
They think he fell off a cliff.
7
00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:15,200
All they want me to do is
clean his bedroom out
8
00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,560
cos it's upsetting the other keeper.
9
00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,960
You're not going on your own?
10
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:19,400
Oh, love, you won't survive.
11
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,800
What are you on about?
I thrive on my own.
12
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,800
I'm like that fish we
saw on Attenborough.
13
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,800
The angler fish. Yeah.
14
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,120
I'm the urban angler fish.
15
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,960
SHE CHUCKLES
16
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:33,880
My prediction is that you'll
be texting me within a day
17
00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,680
because you're bricking it.
18
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,920
Well, I won't. And you know why?
19
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,400
You're the urban angler fish.
20
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,240
Mm-hm. Yeah, I know sweetheart.
21
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,960
Oh, Ireland...
22
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,560
UPLIFTING CELTIC MUSIC
23
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,680
LAUGHTER
24
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,360
Really? Really?!
25
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,960
Lads, I'm trying to
have a moment out here.
26
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,000
Ah, sorry about that.
27
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,920
It's just a wee tradition
we have here on the Merry Bow.
28
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,600
You've done it four times now.
29
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,760
I must be initiated.
30
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,480
That's fair enough.
31
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,680
You get out there with the ocean.
32
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,360
You ask the questions
you need the answers to.
33
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,200
She'll give you what you need.
34
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,240
You're never alone on the sea.
35
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,760
Thank you.
36
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,600
UPLIFTING MUSIC RESUMES
37
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,920
Five! That's five!
38
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:01,960
Please!
39
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:26,200
Remember, you're cut off
until we return.
40
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,000
I want to be. Heh.
41
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,240
We pass back here sun-up on Monday.
42
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,520
Don't miss pick-up.
43
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,120
Oh!
44
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,480
That's right, captain.
45
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:41,720
I took my pants off.
46
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,680
CAPTAIN GASPS
See you Monday.
47
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,640
Hey...
48
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,240
HE EXHALES
49
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,720
Hello, solitude, my old friend.
50
00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,920
Ah.
51
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:13,480
The urban angler fish, he takes
nutrition from his environment.
52
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:17,960
So...
53
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,600
GULL CAWS
54
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,000
Hello, my majestic friend.
55
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,040
May the herring be plentiful today.
56
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,800
I'd give the seaweed a miss. It's...
57
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,840
It's gross.
58
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,240
GULL CAWS
59
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,720
Ah, you again.
60
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,760
Hmm.
61
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,240
Why would anyone put
a pan of fish on the...?
62
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,280
GULL SCREECHES
63
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,440
Aaargh! Argh!
64
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,240
Hey, hey! Hey, hey!
65
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,640
Ugh!
66
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,520
HE SIGHS
67
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,920
Gull!
68
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,080
Hivi! Hey!
69
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,680
You'll have the door off its hinges.
70
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,840
Sorry, were you not just up there?
How did you...?
71
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,280
You're bleeding.
72
00:04:57,280 --> 00:04:59,680
Oh, yeah, it was a seagull.
73
00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:01,600
No!
74
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,480
You mustn't anger the gulls.
75
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,360
They're sacred here.
76
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:07,760
Oh.
77
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,520
I think it was just
going for a fish.
78
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,080
I'm fine, honestly. It's nothing.
79
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,840
Nothing?
80
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,600
Nothing means nothing here.
81
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:16,880
Yeah.
82
00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,520
GULLS CRY
83
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,440
Caa-aa-aa-aa-aw!
84
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,800
GULL CAWS
Oh. Come along.
85
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,360
They told you I was coming?
86
00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,920
I'm the crime scene cleaner.
87
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,680
Crime scene? Where's the crime?
88
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,400
I've never been to
a lighthouse before.
89
00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,040
I was quite relieved there were
no talking animals running around.
90
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,240
Ohh...
91
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:50,640
You remember Fraggle Rock?
92
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,280
How did that theme tune go?
93
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,480
SLAM!
If you sing a single word
94
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,840
from that theme tune,
I swear by all that is holy,
95
00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,280
I will take a knotted rope to you.
96
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,280
Well, I do not like
the sound of that.
97
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:07,240
So...you're the one that's
been charged to erase
98
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,080
the memory of Patrick O'Mally, huh?
99
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,920
Oh... Yeah, I just think the police
thought it would be helpful...
100
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,400
Oh, to forget my only
companion of 30 years?
101
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:22,200
To deny a hurt that gnaws
away at my very soul?
102
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,480
Oh...
103
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,640
Does it hurt? Huh?
104
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:31,560
Oh... Yeah, it does sting a bit.
105
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:33,160
Ah.
106
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,960
Seems that Patrick's
friends do not want him
107
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,960
to be cleaned away, doesn't it?
108
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,760
What, the seagulls?
109
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,320
I'll show you his room.
110
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,040
This is not like
Fraggle Rock at all.
111
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,160
Can I go up the lighthouse
at some point?
112
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,040
The keeper is the only one
permitted in the light room.
113
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,360
Oh...
114
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,800
OK.
115
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:04,200
It's a shame cos, well,
it sounds silly, but, er...
116
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,880
..do you ever do one of
those shadow rabbits?
117
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,880
KEEPER GROWLS
118
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:12,720
I'll show you his room.
119
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,320
Cosy.
120
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,120
Well, it's as he left it.
121
00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:27,520
Right.
122
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:31,760
Well, I will be respectful
and I'll put things right.
123
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,560
Where will I be sleeping?
124
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:35,600
Here.
125
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,800
Is that a problem?
126
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,440
In the dead man's room
with the creepy drawings?
127
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,600
No. No, that's...
128
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,800
I WANT that.
129
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,040
I'm sorry about your
friend's passing.
130
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,600
"Passing"? Was there a body?
131
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,560
They said that would have washed out
to sea when he fell off the cliffs.
132
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,880
Swept out to sea?!
133
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,440
He was in his bed, boy!
134
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,520
Well, it can't have
happened here, there's...
135
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:02,920
..there's no blood.
136
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,040
KEEPER GUFFAWS
137
00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,800
Do you know how the eagle hunts
fish?
138
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,400
I'm about to find out, aren't I?
139
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,000
It plucks them from the ocean,
140
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,600
drives its talons through
the fish's back.
141
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,640
The flight to the nest is short
and the fish, gasping for breath,
142
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,280
will usually survive,
143
00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,960
and it's there,
high in the tree tops,
144
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,240
that its wet eye watches on in
horror as the eagle eats it alive.
145
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,000
Fucking nature.
146
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,400
Salt water. Huh?
147
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,360
You're going to need to bathe
that bite in salt water
148
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,760
for the infection.
149
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,720
You should go down to the cove
in the morning. Let's say 8am?
150
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,960
Sorry...
151
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,760
You don't think your friend was
taken by a massive eagle, right?
152
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,120
Of course he wasn't.
153
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,160
Thank God for that.
154
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,480
But I didn't say he wasn't taken.
155
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,960
I suppose you'll be
taking photographs?
156
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,000
Multiple photographs? Ghoulish
records of a lost man's room?
157
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,480
Something to titillate
the World Wide Web?
158
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,280
Well, I'll take a couple for my
boss.
159
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,520
No, no, you do what you have to do.
160
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,160
You tell who you have to tell.
161
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,920
Agh! Of course, no bloody signal.
162
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:38,840
HE SIGHS
163
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,640
No, Ruth, I'm not missing you.
164
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,040
So, er...
165
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,320
Have you been here
for a long time or...?
166
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,680
30 summers since.
167
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,480
Blimey. And your friend?
168
00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,720
Keeper's mate!
169
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,440
Patrick O'Mally was the keeper's
mate and he was with me throughout.
170
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,520
Blimey.
171
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,400
You must have got though
some box sets, eh?
172
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,880
Huh? You've got Netflix, have you?
173
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,520
Patrick and I did not need
the light box for company.
174
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,520
Christ! What did you
do for entertainment?
175
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:16,400
Oh, I see! Writing a book, are we?
176
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,640
Or a newspaper article about
the secrets of the island?
177
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,040
Go right ahead.
178
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:25,680
But if I see it written anywhere
that we were sleeping in the
179
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:30,360
same bed, I will find you and I will
beat you with a steel pole.
180
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,360
Steel pole?!
What happened to the knotted rope?!
181
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,880
I'm just here to clean! Calm down.
182
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:43,000
What did you mean, though, when you
said they're not happy with me?
183
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,120
His friends.
Are we talking about seagulls?
184
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,560
Why do you think they are the
only sacred birds on the island?
185
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:50,840
Huh?
186
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,600
The souls of dead seamen
have to go somewhere.
187
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:55,880
WICKY SCOFFS
188
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,840
Oh, come on. Don't be daft.
189
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,200
Funny, is it?!
190
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,120
I suppose the isolation
finally got to me, did it?!
191
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,680
Drove me crazy?! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
192
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:09,600
This is going in your
online internet blog, is it?
193
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,640
No.
194
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,720
Lost my mind to the howling winds,
did I?
195
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,680
Smashed in his skull and
then disposed of his body?
196
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,480
Is that what you're thinking,
is it?!
197
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:20,560
Well, I wasn't!
198
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,160
A madman who took
the life of his lover?
199
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,360
No!
200
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,720
Sorry, were you lovers?
201
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:29,800
NOOOO!
202
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,840
KEEPER SIGHS
203
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,480
You don't know the ways of the
island or its rules, cleaner man.
204
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,320
You spooked the gulls.
205
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,840
There's a price to be paid for that.
206
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,200
Mark these words! Mark them!
207
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,920
I'll mark them! I'll mark them!
208
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,160
Finish your food.
209
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,920
You know, this...
this really is delicious, you know.
210
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,120
There's lots of different
flavours in here.
211
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,280
I don't even...
212
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,520
..know what...some...
213
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,240
Sorry, is this a beak?!
214
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,680
Do puffins not have beaks
where you're from, boy?
215
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,040
Puffins?!
216
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,280
Are you deaf, boy?
It was puffin meat.
217
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,520
I don't think Chris Packham
would want us eating puffins.
218
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,360
I told you, 'tis only the seagulls
are sacred on this island.
219
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,280
Yeah... But why are they angry?
220
00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,800
Because they know when someone
is going to be taken away.
221
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,440
Who do you think took him?
222
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,400
Who...or what?
223
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,720
The Oillipheist...
224
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:29,960
What's the Oillipheist?
225
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,680
A deadly sea beast.
226
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:34,200
The Oillipheist always
leaves one behind
227
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,080
to tell the tale of its existence.
228
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,680
But there are two of us.
229
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,840
Sleep well.
You'll need your sleep tonight.
230
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,280
WICKY SIGHS
231
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,720
Were you recording that
on your little phone?
232
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,280
No. Why would I?
233
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:56,680
HE SIGHS
234
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,320
"The Oillipheist comes at night.
235
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,880
"It can't be stopped.
236
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:10,480
"But it always leaves one behind.
237
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,640
"The dead souls of fishermen
turn to seagulls' form
238
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,720
"to warn the living
of the Oillipheist."
239
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,120
ROARING AND CAWING
240
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,240
HE SCOFFS
241
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,200
Hivi! Agh!
242
00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,680
Huh?
243
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:42,280
Don't Go
by Hothouse Flowers
244
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,800
HE RETCHES
245
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,560
Shadow rabbits.
246
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,000
Aaaargh!
247
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,440
Where the hell are you going?
248
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,440
Only the keeper is permitted
in the light room! I told you!
249
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,120
I wasn't going to...
250
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,560
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
251
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,960
Can you stop tapping my bite?!
252
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,360
Just do your job and leave!
253
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:11,920
Hey.
254
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,480
Why were you outside
in the rain last night?
255
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,640
The power lines.
256
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,960
Sometimes the wind blows them down.
257
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,560
We can't let darkness back in here.
258
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,600
Not again.
259
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,000
Salt water, remember?
260
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,920
We said the cove. 8am.
261
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,960
Ye-ee-ah?
262
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,000
Ye-ee-ah.
263
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,280
GULL SCREECHES
264
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,720
I've barely slept, mate,
but I swear,
265
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,520
I will knock you the fuck out.
266
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,960
What the...?
267
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,200
You're losing your mind.
268
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:17,800
Agh.
269
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,960
HE SCREAMS
270
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:27,640
Jellyfish!
271
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,360
What? That can't be it.
272
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,920
I thought it was an urban myth!
273
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,720
I can't do it.
274
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,120
I can't put piss on my lips.
275
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,440
Oh...
276
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,200
HE PEES
277
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,760
'diculous.
278
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,400
I'm sorry.
279
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,920
There was no need for me
to behave like that.
280
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,800
It's hard, having company again.
281
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,720
Oh, Jesus!
282
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,000
Well...
283
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,920
..who is this pretty
little maid come to call?
284
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,240
It's a bloody health and
safety disaster, this island.
285
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,960
To pluck but one kiss
from those cherry lips.
286
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,040
I suppose the jellyfish that
did this was trying to teach me
287
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,080
something, was it?
288
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,880
Jellyfish, eh?
Well, you're doing the right thing.
289
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,560
Do you think? Mm.
290
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,680
Oh, OK.
291
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,080
I wasn't sure if it was just an
old wives' tale, but it does...
292
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,000
What, drinking your way
through the pain?
293
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,040
I know a few old wives
that have done that.
294
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:53,400
And I will not let a good man
drink whisky alone.
295
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,120
Ohhh!
296
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,800
No, I don't...
297
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,040
I don't think that's
a good idea, actually.
298
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,840
When is it a bad idea? Hivi.
299
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,720
Let's bury the hatchet, huh?
300
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,560
You know what I think
the old lips need?
301
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,840
Bit of bedrest, so...
Yeah, a few of these
302
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,440
and you'll forget you
even have lips at all.
303
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,560
Slainte!
304
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,560
Mmm! Yes.
305
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,840
Are you not drinking yours?
306
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,440
Well... Ah, come on, boy,
get 'er down you.
307
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,000
Oh, she'll go.
308
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,400
She'll go down all right.
309
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,480
Soon...
310
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,080
Look, if you're not
going to drink that...
311
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,800
Hey! You won't take my drink!
312
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,240
Well, get her down you, then, boy.
313
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,880
Here she goes. Come on!
314
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,760
Now, straight down. Drink up your
medicine, all of it. Here we go.
315
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,120
Mmm! Go, go, go!
316
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,480
Ooh, a sip... Finish it!
317
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,920
A sip is enough sometimes.
318
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:41,000
Finish it! O...K...
319
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,200
Go, go.
320
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,840
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
321
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,480
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
322
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,600
Boy, yeah!
323
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,760
KEEPER CHUCKLES
324
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,960
Of course, you know the cure for
jellyfish stings?
325
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,240
Hmm...
326
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,800
Only too well, my friend.
327
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,360
Only too well.
328
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,080
And let me tell you,
the aftertaste...
329
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,200
Kelp.
330
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,760
Kelp!
331
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,640
That's the cure.
332
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,680
Why haven't they put kelp in
the book?!
333
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,720
Mmm, kelp. Lovely kelp.
334
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,960
We used to sit like this for hours.
Slainte.
335
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,040
Cheers.
336
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,120
Talking, singing.
337
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,000
Proper songs, too.
338
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,600
Traditional shanty.
339
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,800
Oh, well, I'd love to hear
a traditional shanty.
340
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,720
No, I couldn't. No, please!
341
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,080
Oh, sure my voice is gone.
342
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,880
Just one. Well, all right,
let's see what I can do.
343
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,840
KEEPER CLEARS THROAT
344
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,120
your daddy's dead
345
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,680
Bloody hell, mate.
Keep it light, will you?
346
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,000
They all starve to death in the end.
347
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,720
That was one of
O'Mally's favourites.
348
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,640
He loved that one.
349
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,680
Ooh...
350
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,080
Do you think you should get
off the island for a while?
351
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,120
I can't.
352
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,720
Come back to the mainland with me.
353
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,680
Get some perspective.
354
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,680
There's a bloke down my
local pub called Weasel,
355
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,800
he can get four packs of
Maltesers in his mouth.
356
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,040
You're the one who should leave.
357
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,400
It only comes here
when there's two men.
358
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,520
"It"? The Olliethingy?
359
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,280
The Oillipheist.
360
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,160
Yes, the sea beast that came and
took O'Mally,
361
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,280
and we don't know where he is,
362
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,920
but he's going to come
back as a seagull?
363
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,680
Correct. And the Oillipheist's
angry now because I've come
364
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:05,200
and he's going to come
and take one of us?
365
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,560
You don't believe in anything
you don't understand, do you?
366
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,720
No.
367
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,840
Because all mysteries get
explained in the end.
368
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,680
So what did you see in
the cove this morning?
369
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,120
Aha!
370
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:24,280
Well, I thought I saw a woman
with a tail sitting on a rock,
371
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,920
but obviously that's impossible.
372
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,280
I did not see a mermaid. Did you
not?
373
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,600
No, because one, they don't exist,
374
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,960
and two, it didn't
look like a mermaid.
375
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,240
And how would the big, long
cleaner boy from the city
376
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:36,360
know what a mermaid looks like?
377
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,360
Oh, come on, we've all seen Splash.
Mermaids are fit.
378
00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,520
KEEPER GASPS
I'm not sexist, but...
379
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:42,960
..she was rough.
380
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,240
THUNDER CRASHES
381
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,360
It's coming! It's coming for me!
382
00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:52,880
The only thing coming
for us is a bad hangover.
383
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,360
Get you to your room.
384
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,080
Stay there until sunrise.
385
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,600
Do not come out,
no matter what you hear.
386
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,840
Mate!
387
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,000
It's ridiculous!
388
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,280
Well, I hope you're still laughing
as the blood fills your mouth
389
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,960
from the crushing weight of its
mighty jaw.
390
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,600
DISTORTED LAUGHTER
391
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,280
THUNDER CRASHES
392
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:29,720
Do you like my sexy old man body?
393
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,040
HE WHIMPERS
394
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,960
See?
You're useless alone.
395
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,000
Agh! Agh! No! The Oillipheist...
396
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,640
The Oillipheist always
leaves her mark.
397
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:40,960
SCREAMS
398
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,080
Why?!
399
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:44,680
No, captain!
400
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,040
It's here!
401
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,520
What the f...?! Get up!
402
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,040
Huh?! The Oillipheist! It's here!
403
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,160
It's cut the power lines! Quickly!
404
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,040
Mate, this is madness!
405
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:58,480
There is no Oillipheist!
406
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,280
The light is out.
It's bitten through the wires.
407
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,000
Yeah, well, it'll be a fault,
won't it? Radio the mainland.
408
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,240
No, I am going to try and fix it.
409
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,400
You need to go up to the light room
to flip the trip.
410
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,360
Oh! I thought I wasn't
allowed in the light room.
411
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,840
Argh! I may not be back!
412
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,920
Pray for me.
413
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,640
If that light does not come on
again,
414
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,160
the boat collecting you in the
morning may be dashed on the rocks.
415
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,400
It's probably a fuse, isn't it?
416
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,200
I'll radio the mainland.
417
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,760
Jesus.
418
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,120
Uh, breaker 1-9.
419
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:27,320
What's your 20 for an eyeball,
good buddy?
420
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,760
Receiving...
421
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,000
What?!
422
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,600
Breaker 1-9,
what's going on over there?
423
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:33,720
What the fuck?!
424
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,000
I have to face it for Patrick!
425
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,640
If the Oillipheist takes me,
it will leave you.
426
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,600
It always leaves one,
you'll be fine.
427
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,760
If you see Patrick,
tell him I'll join him soon.
428
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:48,800
HE SQUEALS
429
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,120
No. Awake.
430
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,640
I don't even know what a trip switch
looks like, you old goon.
431
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:16,920
OK.
432
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,520
DISTANT SCREECHING
433
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,400
SCREECHING
434
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,360
O'Malley?!
435
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,880
It can't be!
436
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:53,160
Argh!
437
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,800
HE PANTS
438
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:28,880
To you, Patrick.
439
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:31,880
Perhaps they'll listen now.
440
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,760
It was only down by the sea
that I worked it out.
441
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:42,960
You set all this up.
442
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,440
You staged the myth
of the Oillipheist.
443
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,160
There's no myth.
444
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:52,400
Mate, you don't think that O'Mally
was taken by the Oillipheist?
445
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,520
He was!
446
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:54,960
I heard his screams!
447
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,680
Because you were pissed!
448
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,800
No!
449
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,760
Well, if it's real,
why are you pretending to be him?
450
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,400
Why all this pantomime?
451
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,280
Because no-one will believe me!
452
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,320
The police, coroner...
453
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,520
I even had a reporter
sniffing around.
454
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,360
They don't listen,
they just wrote him off.
455
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:16,240
"Fell off a cliff. Case closed."
456
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,440
WICKY SIGHS
457
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,600
So you thought you'd plant some
evidence for the nonbeliever?
458
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:27,200
Bad things happen to good people for
no reason.
459
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,600
He was my friend.
460
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:31,640
He fell off a cliff.
461
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,560
No, he didn't, he didn't, he didn't!
462
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:34,720
Never!
463
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,760
A strong man like that,
swept away by a little wind?
464
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,000
Never! Not a lighthouse man!
465
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:43,800
Maybe you're right.
466
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,960
Just...tell them.
467
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,560
Tell anyone what happened here.
468
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,680
Tell them that the Oillipheist
took away my friend.
469
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:59,160
Did I really think you could get it
on to that Netflix or a podcast
470
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,640
on the World Wide Web, yeah? Yeah?
471
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,120
I thought you didn't have a telly.
472
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,400
I have an iPad up my room.
473
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,440
I turned off the Wi-Fi
when you arrived.
474
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,160
Just tell them.
475
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,960
Promise me.
476
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,120
There's a pub near Birmingham
that's about to hear
477
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:23,400
of the mysterious disappearance
of Patrick O'Mally.
478
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,120
I promise.
479
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,520
And you were right.
480
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,840
She was a fine-looking mermaid.
481
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,920
You looked beautiful.
482
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,280
SOMBRE MUSIC
483
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:21,800
LAUGHTER
484
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,960
HORN BLARES
33184
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