Original subtitles

'13 Bannerman Road is where Sarah Jane Smith lives

'and it's home to things way beyond your imagination.

'There's an extraterrestrial supercomputer in the wall,

'her son, a genetically engineered boy genius,

'a school girl investigator across the road

'her adopted daughter from another world

'and a whole universe of adventure right here on the doorstep.'

Ready? Always!

Hi! I'm Joseph Serf.

Something weird happened. He glitched.

'Enhancing.'

If I could speak to Mr Serf, just to tell him there are no glitches.

Meet you both back here in half an hour.

Call me Sarah Jane.

They're controlling him. Gotcha!

SHE SCREAMS Let her go. She's just a child!

YOU... YOU...

YOU... YOU...

They're going to kill us.

You must escape. Run!

What? What?

What do you know? Who do you work for?

Oh, Mr Harrison.

This is not exactly a new experience for me.

'You're not going to fire that gun.'

Do you want to bet? I don't think you've ever fired that gun. No.

But there's a first time for everything!

I'm walking out now.

You won't stop me.

Sky, what are you doing?

HE BEEPS AND CHIRRUPS

Grab her!

Lipstick that bites? How very interesting.

MR SERF CHIRRUPS

Berr berr berr berr berr.

'What are you doing down there?' Berr berr berr berr berr.

Level five, PUNISH!

DEVICE EMITS PIERCING WAIL

ALL: Aaaarrghh!

Luke, make it stop, make it stop! I can't!

Ooooh, ooohh...

Work, work!

I'm sorry... I must have blunked out there for a second.

My goadness, what's happening?

Plark, forget it. It's too late now!

What are they doing in there?

Oh, no! Emergency!

Intruders in Light Chamber!

Luke, Sky, get out of there!

Run, run! Come on!

ALARM BUZZES

No!

Should be back by now. Come on, Luke, answer! Sky, answer, come on!

'Oh, pick it up for once, Sarah Jane!'

That's my phone! Welcome to the club. I've had seven phones

in the last two years.

Sarah Jane! Mum! Thank goodness you're all right!

Bizarre! I expected high-class industrial spies,

not Mumsnet(!)

Mum, the hologram. There are aliens working it. They're slaves!

Coming, Master!

Plark.

Master?

You let these human children roam free!

Master, no, please, master! Level seven,

PUNISH! Master! Aagghhh!

Stop it!

PLARK SCREAMS

You're hurting these creatures! Poor little Skullions?

Read my lips, Pollyanna. I. Don't. Care.

Plark, get back to work!

Thank you, Master. Love master!

What are you doing to them? The Skullions?

They merely need a firm hand.

Listen, I can help you and help them, I can get them home.

I don't need your help, I'm doing fine!

They're intelligent, you can't treat them like that!

Can't I? I paid enough for them. You bought them?!

A ship crash-landed in Central Asia. The survivors were put up for sale.

What do you mean, "up for sale"? Oh, didn't you know?

There's a black market in alien species. If you know where to look.

They're smuggled across Europe in crates, then across the Channel.

A slave trade in aliens. Packing them up in boxes, torturing them.

It's appalling! I can't believe anybody could be so...

Successful?

Ha-ha-ha! You're so naive.

This is the way the world works. Not in my world!

Yes, it is. Money is exchanged for goods and services.

Plenty of bidders at auction, but I paid millions.

To make billions. It's disgusting. You're disgusting!

I do my best.

I'm beginning to understand this. There's nothing special

about the Serf Board, is there? It's rubbish, yes.

It's not the board, it's Serf, the hologram. He's hypnotic.

He can make you desperate to buy one. Very good, carry on.

In a few hours, the launch... it'll be televised the world over.

Serf hypnotises the entire world to buy a Serf Board.

And you make a fortune! That's all it is. The slaves... just money!

Just profit!

Shock, horror(!)

Right, enough debate!

Put the kids in storage five.

No, you leave my children alone!

Luke, you look after her! I will!

You dare harm my children...

I'll deal with them, and you, later. After the launch.

This way.

I'm going to stop this. I am going to stop you.

What are you going to do? Hit me with your handbag(?)

Are you hurting them?

Are you hurting the little people?

You are SCUM!

Hold on, hold on!

I'm a prisoner just like you!

The aliens aren't bad, Harrison is.

How could he do that? It just makes me so ANGRY!

Humans used other humans as slaves for centuries.

Every culture, the world over.

Nobody challenged them until a few hundred years ago.

And in some places it still goes on.

Is this what humans are like? Not all of them.

I can sleep somewhere else in the house.

What?

If you want your room back.

I think it upset you but...

you're not telling me.

It doesn't matter.

And this isn't the time!

This morning a little man pulled me into the lift.

The guards came, they hurt him.

I saw others, many others.

The guards locked me away.

The Skullions. One of them must have tried to escape.

They must be desperate.

They're dying...

and we will die here too.

No! We're going to get out of here!

And the little people, we MUST help them!

Sarah Jane Smith.

Adriana Petrescu. Adriana,

you've just restored my faith in the human race!

In just two hours time the Serf Board will be revealed to the world,

'right here at Serf Systems.

'The eyes of the world will be on this building.

'After months of rumours, leaks,

'some say deliberate leaks,

'and endless speculation, we'll finally get the answers

'revealed by the secretive Mr Joseph Serf.'

MR SMITH: 'That was the latest news transmission.'

We've got to get over to the launch. We can take Luke's car!

Clyde, it's the media event of the century.

We can't just gatecrash it like it's Adam Jenkins' party!

Give me a minute. Mr Smith! Access Serf Systems hospitality.

Get your best clothes. 'Accessing initiated.'

Move! 'Logging in to Serf intranet.'

Bring food for the young ones. You like us, prisoners.

Thanks.

You need this more than we do. No, you drink.

Pure water burns.

What do you drink?

Orange, lemon juice, citrus.

Hey, stop!

No! Girl stay!

We can help you, let us out of here!

You stay! Or master punish!

Oh. You need help.

No. No help!

You stay!

He can't go against his master, or he gets another shock.

The collars are controlled through Harrison's pen.

We can't do anything to help the slaves until we get it off him!

If we could tell Clyde and Rani,

get them to grab it. How?

They've destroyed our phones.

What about your dog whistle?

K9's miles away, he'd never hear it.

He's too far away.

We've got to think of something.

What about Mr Smith? Could he hear it?

Yes! YES!

You are SO my sister!

Rani, the launch starts in an hour!

Oh. You look great.

I've done it!

MR SMITH COUGHS

'WE have done it!' Whatever!

OK, we're in!

Trevor and Janet Sharp.

Trevor, do I look like a Trevor?

Although I am sharp.

They're journalists, from Twilight Years magazine,

for the over 60s. Geriatric News? Couldn't you do better?

They're the only ones on the list that won't turn up.

'Mr And Mrs Sharp are stranded at Orly Airport,

'thanks to a... a-hem, computer malfunction.'

Mr and Mrs?

Oh, yeah, and they're, eh, married.

Right. Right. The cavalry's coming,

and it's me and the missus.

My old Dutch. Shut up Clyde. Come on!

'Wait a moment! I'm picking up a high-frequency, modulated signal,

'in Morse code!'

Brilliant!

'The transmission is on the command frequency of K-9.'

It must be Luke, the whistle! Or it's a trap.

How do we know it's Luke for sure?

'Deciphering...

'Message begins, Clani... '

Yeah, that's Luke!

'Grab Harrison's

'P-E-N. Full stop.'

Never been so glad to see a full stop. What does it mean?

What it says. Grab his pen!

Ready to go through with this?

I will help the little people. I'm ready.

I hope I am. It's an oldie but a goodie.

Go!

Help, help! This crazy woman, she's trying to kill me!

Help, please!

Help, please!

Owww!

Hey! Well done! Let's go!

There must be no mistakes!

Everything at the launch must go exactly according to plan!

Yes, Master, yes, Master!

This time you are working for your lives!

Fail me

and it's level ten punish!

Master?

What do you want? We thirst.

We so thirsty.

Oooh, dear(!)

Shall I give you all a drink?

No, Master! Please, Master!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

No! Water burns, water burns!

You get the message?

WORK!

PLARK HISSES

Luke! Oh, Sky!

Come on! Listen, I've got a plan.

But first we need to get that pen away from Harrison!

We've got that covered. What? How? You've got gifted kids.

Hi.

Can I just check that for you?

That's lovely, thank you.

Right, just in time. Where is he, where is Harrison?

He's over there.

Oh, he doesn't look like much.

And what's his pen got to do with it?

Oh, there we go, top pocket.

Ready, ready, ready! Near time, near time!

Oh, this place is terrible.

The smell!

But look!

They got the message! Wow, you are gifted, aren't you?

No, no! Go, go, go!

It's OK! We're going to help you!

No help! Master punish!

Not for much longer. Leave it to Clyde and Rani! What then?

Your gifted mum's got that covered. Or she will have. Wait here!

Adriana, I need something from you.

Right!

Here goes!

Hello, hello! New faces, good to see you!

Keeps me young. Lionel Carson. Trevor.

Call me Trev. Meet Janet,

the trouble and strife.

Oh, Trev, my old ball and chain.

You're from Twilight Years?

What? New approach. We're the voice of youth.

We're opinion formers! We give a stairlift a five-star review,

and watch the sales rocket!

Rocket in a very steady and safe way.

Yeah, wouldn't want to give our readers any big shocks!

There aren't enough stars in the skies for the Serf Board!

Everyone will love it. I know you will.

PHONE RINGS

Escaped?

Well, then find her! NOW!

Mr Harrison, isn't it? Janet Sharp, Twilight Years.

Do you mind if I grab a quick word?

Mr Carson,

could I borrow a pen? Help yourself. Thank you.

Send that message now, Mr Smith! Urgent rescue flight needed!

Co-ordinates... the roof of the Serf Systems compound.

Yeah.

'Earth calling Skultos. Light Sculptors imprisoned.

'Dispatch rescue vehicle immediately,

'urgent, to these co-ordinates.'

That is amazing. Ooh, bum!

Pen's run out, can I borrow yours?

Yes, here. Look, keep it. Thank you, I've got to go, it's almost time.

Sorry, mate.

Waste of time!

Three cheers for the old switcheroo.

He did it! Right! They're free!

Free!

ALL: Free, free!

Free, free!

Clyde's got the pen! Oh, brilliant!

Plark! Come, bring your people up to the roof, quickly.

Rescue's on its way!

Skultos. Home! Come on, now!

Quick, follow us!

You two stay here and keep an eye on Harrison.

But... Mum's right, Sky.

See you soon!

Come on! RUN! Run, run, run!

Hi, I'm Joseph Serf.

I'm here to introduce the Serf Board from Serf Systems,

the world's newest,

and best, portable computer.

The 15th at 5pm.

A moment of history.

But I don't get it, it's just a pen.

Don't play with it!

Mine, I think, Janet!

Enjoy the show.

Get ready, Plark, the time is now!

'Just one mistake and it's double ten!'

No! He's got the pen back!

If the hologram doesn't obey, he'll know something's wrong!

He'll hurt them, stop them getting away.

We've got to work Serf!

What? Come on!

We've got to drag the hologram ourselves.

Come on, come on!

But they are free?

Almost, Adriana! Almost!

So before we go through to meet the Serf Board,

let's meet the man

behind the Serf Board.

Joseph Serf!

Ha-ha-hum...

Mr Joseph Serf!

Ready? You bet!

Serf! Now, now, now!

Left leg. Right leg. Left leg. Right leg.

Walk! WALK!

AUDIENCE CLAPS

Fella's been drinking.

Welcome to my lovely lunch.

My lovely launch.

Oh, I AM gorgeous.

He'd never say that! First thing I could think of!

You keep him talking! What a beautiful day, boys and girls.

Remember, he's American!

Yee-ha!

As I woke up,

put my grits on the griddle, I thought,

"What a cotton-pickin' day to launch a new computer!"

What? What? You've been watching Toy Story again.

He's going to use the pen. No!

Aaarrghhh!

The pen!

Get the pen!

Aaaarrghh!

He's hypnotic. We've got to turn up the hypno-power.

Listen, everybody.

I want you to grab the pen from Harrison!

Grab the pen from him!

THEY SHOUT

I say, that's not on! Leave her alone!

Smash it!

SMASH IT!

THEY SHOUT: Smash it!

No! No! No!

It's stopped.

Go home! The Serf Board is rubbish! Bog standard!

Cobblers! Garbage!

Go home. Tell everyone!

No! Of course it is. Stupid computers.

"Nothing wrong with a typewriter," says I.

It's grade A,

100% toot! It's bobbins. It's trash.

In fact, you think it's rubbish, go home, tell everyone!

I've got a weird feeling about him.

Hi, Clani!

I knew it!

Go to the roof.

Bye, Clani!

We did it! Where's Harrison?

Sarah Jane Smith! Step away from them!

You're too late. I said I'd stop you! You and whose army?

That army!

We go now. Thank you, thank you!

You good people!

I think that's your ride!

Quick! Come on!

No! I paid billions! No!

No! You belong to me! You're mine, mine!

Yes!

That was a spaceship. What will they do to Harrison?

Set him to work, I hope. But it's amazing, amazing!

Er... who's this again? I'm just the cleaner.

I mean I WAS the cleaner. I have no job now.

So you people, you do this all the time? That's wonderful!

Give this lot a call. Mention my name.

You're just the kind of agent they need, put them back on track.

And the pay will be very good,

I'll make sure of that.

'The Serf Board has failed to live up the hype,

'and Joseph Serf has disappeared.'

That's enough, Mr Smith.

Well, I'm certainly not disappointed! Oh, poor Mr Serf.

The real Mr Serf.

Nobody will ever know what really happened to him.

Done it. Sky, could you get that CD you promised me, please?

Sure. Won't be a second.

What are you two up to? Nothing!

Sorry, Sarah Jane, it's a family thing!

Hi, Sky! What's going on...?

Present for you. I got Clyde to do it.

For me?

It's your room, isn't it?

It's great! Nothing's too good for my sister!

Come here.

'I've seen amazing things out there in space...

'..but strange things can happen wherever you are.

'I've learned that life on Earth can be an adventure too.'

Mum? Oh, Luke!

'In all the universe

'I never expected to find a family.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media and APOLLO