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1
00:00:02,125 --> 00:00:03,760
You know, I'm just gonna say it.
2
00:00:03,785 --> 00:00:05,360
The new art teacher is a hottie.
3
00:00:05,391 --> 00:00:08,161
Normally, I would never
objectify a teacher,
4
00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:09,437
but... damn.
5
00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:12,107
Oh, man. That rack
really defies gravity.
6
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:13,943
Whose rack defies gravity?
7
00:00:13,975 --> 00:00:15,011
Hey, Graham, look over there!
8
00:00:15,043 --> 00:00:17,112
You know, the key
to uncomfortable questions
9
00:00:17,145 --> 00:00:18,445
is distraction.
10
00:00:19,548 --> 00:00:21,883
That child screaming
is just a happy coincidence.
11
00:00:21,917 --> 00:00:23,552
Oh, my God. She's gonna fall!
12
00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,036
It's gonna be okay.
13
00:00:40,069 --> 00:00:41,737
Ow!
14
00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:43,139
A bee stung me!
15
00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:49,645
It's gonna be okay.
16
00:00:49,678 --> 00:00:52,048
Thank y...
17
00:01:03,771 --> 00:01:05,594
It's gonna be... okay.
18
00:01:05,627 --> 00:01:06,729
Please.
19
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,909
Thanks.
20
00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:15,103
- Oh, my God.
- That was amazing.
21
00:01:15,128 --> 00:01:18,206
- What just happened?
- Will is the new hot person.
22
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,209
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
23
00:01:23,444 --> 00:01:25,780
Thank goodness I've done
all those laundry squats.
24
00:01:25,813 --> 00:01:28,250
You know?
25
00:01:28,282 --> 00:01:30,585
I know I'm supposed to be
at the office by now,
26
00:01:30,619 --> 00:01:32,922
but I just can't
take my eyes off of this.
27
00:01:32,955 --> 00:01:34,390
Look at 'em swarm, Miggy.
28
00:01:34,422 --> 00:01:37,092
Like wasps on a soda can.
29
00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:39,761
Man, is it me, or am I getting
more attention than usual?
30
00:01:39,794 --> 00:01:41,262
You've got the glow.
31
00:01:41,295 --> 00:01:43,865
Your little show of lifesaving heroics
32
00:01:43,899 --> 00:01:46,644
has wrapped you in a cloak
of sexual irresistibility.
33
00:01:46,669 --> 00:01:49,105
Mm. That'll make
for a nice change of pace.
34
00:01:49,139 --> 00:01:51,140
Wait. Does this mean you'll
finally watch sports with me?
35
00:01:51,174 --> 00:01:53,377
- O-Okay, look. Pump the brakes.
- Okay.
36
00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:56,313
The glow is powerful, yet fleeting.
37
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:58,148
When it's gone, it's gone.
38
00:01:58,181 --> 00:02:00,584
Damn, Douglas, how you know
so much about sex cloaks?
39
00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:04,712
It was Labor Day, 1984.
40
00:02:05,705 --> 00:02:08,825
I had just bought an outfit
off the mannequin at Penney's.
41
00:02:08,857 --> 00:02:11,994
Jeans so white, you'd go blind
just looking at them.
42
00:02:12,028 --> 00:02:14,498
And, boy, did they fit.
43
00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:15,699
Everyone wanted a piece.
44
00:02:15,731 --> 00:02:17,860
I thought I would glow forever,
45
00:02:17,885 --> 00:02:21,038
but by the next day, it was gone.
46
00:02:21,070 --> 00:02:23,172
Wait. I only get a day
with my sex cloak?
47
00:02:23,206 --> 00:02:24,883
That's shorter than a tuxedo rental.
48
00:02:24,908 --> 00:02:25,841
Douglas, what do I do?
49
00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:27,009
Okay, look. We'll hit the club.
50
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,145
Don't worry about it, kid.
51
00:02:28,177 --> 00:02:29,979
I'm not gonna let you
squander your glow.
52
00:02:30,012 --> 00:02:31,814
But you're gonna have to lose
the fanny pack.
53
00:02:34,183 --> 00:02:36,819
I wish I could stay and watch
"The Bachelor" with you.
54
00:02:36,853 --> 00:02:38,936
I've been meaning to ask you
one question, though.
55
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,523
- Hmm?
- What's a virgin?
56
00:02:41,523 --> 00:02:44,061
So, Louisa's party's gonna be fun, huh?
57
00:02:44,093 --> 00:02:45,329
If you call playing marbles
58
00:02:45,361 --> 00:02:47,163
'cause they don't have cable "fun."
59
00:02:48,365 --> 00:02:52,002
Ah. Just a strong woman
buying herself roses.
60
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:53,770
And this is why I tell you to just honk.
61
00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:55,004
Ror, get your stuff.
62
00:02:55,038 --> 00:02:58,057
Your mailman left this box
in the flower bed.
63
00:02:58,082 --> 00:03:00,376
You might want to think about
tipping him at Christmas.
64
00:03:00,409 --> 00:03:01,677
Please. I'll start tipping him
65
00:03:01,711 --> 00:03:04,248
when he stops saying
he has a "big package" for me.
66
00:03:04,281 --> 00:03:06,283
All right, drunk 2:00 AM Poppy,
67
00:03:06,315 --> 00:03:08,451
what'd you buy online for me now?
68
00:03:08,485 --> 00:03:09,920
Hmm.
69
00:03:09,952 --> 00:03:11,121
Wow.
70
00:03:11,153 --> 00:03:12,389
"Smash Me."
71
00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:13,623
- Don't do it.
- Oh, I'm doing it.
72
00:03:14,623 --> 00:03:15,758
Oh!
73
00:03:15,791 --> 00:03:17,093
What is that?
74
00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:18,962
What's in here?
75
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:23,200
Ron.
76
00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:25,768
An invitation
to your ex-husband's wedding.
77
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:28,471
Probably wanting me to... say something
78
00:03:28,504 --> 00:03:30,606
to help you express your feelings.
79
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:32,576
Onwards and upwards.
80
00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:33,643
Huh?
81
00:03:33,676 --> 00:03:36,212
Harness your womanhood.
82
00:03:36,246 --> 00:03:37,848
Yas, queen!
83
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:40,416
- Okay, well...
- There, there, there.
84
00:03:40,450 --> 00:03:42,586
As much as this is not working,
you're off the hook.
85
00:03:42,618 --> 00:03:44,920
I already know you have plans
to parade "Hot Will" around town
86
00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:46,689
like a piece of meat, so...
87
00:03:49,124 --> 00:03:50,526
You want me to stay?
88
00:03:52,329 --> 00:03:54,330
- All right, ready!
- Ready?
89
00:03:54,363 --> 00:03:56,432
Ready for some sleepover action?
90
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:57,600
Honey, I bring the action
91
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:58,835
everywhere I go.
92
00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,469
- Love you.
- Love you.
93
00:04:00,503 --> 00:04:02,139
Keep marchin', Penguin!
94
00:04:02,171 --> 00:04:03,306
Why do I keep doing that?
95
00:04:03,339 --> 00:04:05,175
I don't know. But I'm gonna be fine.
96
00:04:11,980 --> 00:04:13,182
Ang, Poppy.
97
00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:14,818
I need you to come over ASAP.
98
00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:16,118
We're having a "Bachelor" night.
99
00:04:16,151 --> 00:04:17,153
Dress code... formal.
100
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:19,355
Attitude... full bitch mode!
101
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:20,523
Later, Pops!
102
00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:26,330
The sleepover's canceled.
103
00:04:26,362 --> 00:04:28,331
Louisa's been taken by the fever.
104
00:04:28,365 --> 00:04:32,455
- Father... bring me my ice bucket.
- Right away, Louisa.
105
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,805
I just need to get these children home.
106
00:04:34,838 --> 00:04:35,972
Don't worry about us.
107
00:04:36,004 --> 00:04:37,773
We've got a phone. We'll call our dad.
108
00:04:37,807 --> 00:04:39,609
Sincerest thanks.
109
00:04:39,641 --> 00:04:41,278
Please pray for our sweet Louisa.
110
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:43,180
Her fever's broken 100.
111
00:04:44,646 --> 00:04:46,615
So, where are we going?
112
00:04:46,648 --> 00:04:48,985
You said you were gonna call Douglas.
113
00:04:49,018 --> 00:04:52,022
Come on. Where's the craziest
place we can go right now?
114
00:04:54,057 --> 00:04:55,192
I got it!
115
00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:57,194
School?!
116
00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:59,029
You wanted to go to school?
117
00:04:59,062 --> 00:05:01,464
This is what we get
for letting the nerd decide.
118
00:05:07,937 --> 00:05:10,552
Feel that, Will? All eyes are on you.
119
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,043
They are? What about my butt?
Are they looking at my butt?
120
00:05:13,076 --> 00:05:14,878
Oh, they're looking at everything.
121
00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:18,014
Go ahead. Let them taste the pheromones.
122
00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:19,516
Yo, when you said, "Let's hit the club,"
123
00:05:19,548 --> 00:05:21,317
I thought you meant "da club."
124
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:22,985
Here's the plan.
You're gonna walk the room,
125
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,321
you're gonna get the numbers,
126
00:05:24,353 --> 00:05:26,756
and Miggy and I,
we're gonna surf your wake.
127
00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:32,162
Okay, I opened a third bottle of wine,
128
00:05:32,194 --> 00:05:33,529
and we are still wearing our bras,
129
00:05:33,562 --> 00:05:35,197
which means that we're quite tame
130
00:05:35,230 --> 00:05:37,166
considering it's "Bachelor" night.
131
00:05:37,199 --> 00:05:38,601
Look at all these hot people,
132
00:05:38,634 --> 00:05:42,838
you know, just falling in love
in their crocheted bikinis,
133
00:05:42,872 --> 00:05:44,374
diving off cliffs,
134
00:05:44,406 --> 00:05:46,942
which... FYI... is about them
taking an emotional leap.
135
00:05:46,975 --> 00:05:49,512
Okay, I feel like you're
going through something here.
136
00:05:49,545 --> 00:05:51,547
The man sent me a wedding invitation
137
00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:53,216
that looks like a Las Vegas production!
138
00:05:53,249 --> 00:05:54,217
Of course I am!
139
00:05:54,249 --> 00:05:56,552
Let it out. I'm here.
140
00:05:56,586 --> 00:05:59,756
It just hit me harder than
I thought it would, you know?
141
00:05:59,788 --> 00:06:01,290
I mean, I don't want to be
married to the man.
142
00:06:01,324 --> 00:06:02,793
- Mnh-mnh.
- He went to that Fyre Festival
143
00:06:02,826 --> 00:06:03,960
and came home with no complaints.
144
00:06:03,992 --> 00:06:05,528
Why does he get to be happy?
145
00:06:05,562 --> 00:06:07,531
No one is supposed to be happy!
146
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:09,466
That is the deal
we all make as a society.
147
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,434
Well, you're happy. You have a good guy.
148
00:06:11,468 --> 00:06:13,302
I know. Owen's great.
149
00:06:13,336 --> 00:06:15,394
Yeah, he left a wallet
full of cash at my place,
150
00:06:15,419 --> 00:06:16,540
and when he came back to pick it up,
151
00:06:16,572 --> 00:06:18,641
he didn't even check to see
if anything was missing.
152
00:06:18,675 --> 00:06:20,309
Which is good 'cause I took 20 bucks.
153
00:06:20,343 --> 00:06:22,646
What?! That is so sweet.
154
00:06:22,679 --> 00:06:25,949
Things are good with Owen now,
but that doesn't mean anything.
155
00:06:25,982 --> 00:06:28,418
Things were great with
Graham's dad in the beginning.
156
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:30,026
No, you said he was human trash.
157
00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:31,921
Yeah, no. He didn't start out that way.
158
00:06:31,954 --> 00:06:32,988
They never do.
159
00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:34,658
That's how they get ya.
160
00:06:34,691 --> 00:06:36,126
There is no happy ending.
161
00:06:36,158 --> 00:06:38,127
You either break up or watch them die.
162
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,396
Or... Or you die,
163
00:06:40,430 --> 00:06:42,466
and then the last thought that you have
164
00:06:42,499 --> 00:06:44,301
before you go off into the light is,
165
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:46,136
"Great, now I made a hot widow
166
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:47,803
to tramp around the nursing home!"
167
00:06:47,836 --> 00:06:49,973
And you know what else
is straight-up baloney?!
168
00:06:50,006 --> 00:06:51,441
Girl, don't make me beg.
169
00:06:51,473 --> 00:06:53,142
We only get disappointed
170
00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:56,294
because we're fed
all this BS about romance!
171
00:06:56,327 --> 00:06:58,789
- By like, the media.
- Yes.
172
00:06:58,814 --> 00:07:00,817
- And storybooks!
- Ugh!
173
00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:03,225
And the supportive messages
on Dove wrappers!
174
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:05,355
So stupid! Someone's
gotta tell these ladies
175
00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:06,990
that they're getting
all gussied up for nothing.
176
00:07:07,023 --> 00:07:08,992
- For a lie!
- Yeah. Yeah, you're right!
177
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:10,160
You know what?
178
00:07:10,192 --> 00:07:13,163
We owe it to these
"Bachelor" ladies to tell them
179
00:07:13,196 --> 00:07:15,165
that their blowouts won't save 'em!
180
00:07:15,197 --> 00:07:17,266
They are group-dating straight to hell!
181
00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:19,134
And you know what else?
This Bachelor Mansion,
182
00:07:19,168 --> 00:07:21,170
it's not some... some faraway castle.
183
00:07:21,204 --> 00:07:23,038
It's just a house in Agoura Hills
184
00:07:23,071 --> 00:07:24,941
that's like an hour away from here!
185
00:07:24,973 --> 00:07:26,543
Yeah!
186
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:29,345
Oh. Angie D'Amato.
187
00:07:29,379 --> 00:07:32,015
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
188
00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:34,918
Shave Will's beard.
189
00:07:36,018 --> 00:07:37,052
The Bachelor Mansion.
190
00:07:56,739 --> 00:07:59,042
This is crazy!
191
00:07:59,074 --> 00:08:01,978
We are at the Bachelor Mansion!
192
00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:05,385
Yes! And the driveway's
wet, like it always is!
193
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,650
No, no, no!
194
00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:09,526
Ohh! I wanted to get out of
that car, like, five more times.
195
00:08:09,552 --> 00:08:11,484
I was gonna have you shoot
a close-up of my foot.
196
00:08:11,509 --> 00:08:12,610
Yeah.
197
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:14,857
Girl.
198
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:18,395
- Giiirrrl!
- Giiirrrl!
199
00:08:19,414 --> 00:08:21,397
- Okay, we're going in.
- Yes!
200
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,602
Super quiet.
201
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:27,704
There's... no one... here.
202
00:08:27,737 --> 00:08:32,008
There's not a Becca or Lauren
or Jennifer H. in sight.
203
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,108
Wait!
204
00:08:33,141 --> 00:08:34,410
Oh, my God.
205
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:36,545
They're not filming "The
Bachelor" right now, are they?
206
00:08:36,579 --> 00:08:38,848
They must have stopped shooting
months ago.
207
00:08:38,881 --> 00:08:40,916
I just realized
we don't know how TV works.
208
00:08:40,949 --> 00:08:42,585
My phone's dead.
209
00:08:42,618 --> 00:08:43,619
Damn it. Mine too.
210
00:08:43,652 --> 00:08:45,254
I told Rory to stop wasting my battery
211
00:08:45,287 --> 00:08:47,456
with his competitive
dog-grooming videos.
212
00:08:47,489 --> 00:08:49,725
So this is how it ends.
213
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:51,293
We die at the Bachelor Mansion.
214
00:08:52,462 --> 00:08:54,297
Hello? Who's there?
215
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:57,199
Chris... Harrison?
216
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,535
Hello, m'lord.
217
00:08:58,568 --> 00:08:59,970
Ladies, I don't mean to interrupt,
218
00:09:00,002 --> 00:09:02,973
but my ears are highly sensitive
to the sound of female voices.
219
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,156
Would you ladies like to come in?
220
00:09:07,843 --> 00:09:09,979
Are you asking if...
221
00:09:10,012 --> 00:09:13,349
we would accept this invitation
to the Bachelor Mansion?
222
00:09:14,183 --> 00:09:16,119
Sorry. I just...
223
00:09:16,151 --> 00:09:17,653
Y-You know.
224
00:09:17,686 --> 00:09:20,456
It's fine. It would be weird
if you didn't do a rose thing.
225
00:09:20,489 --> 00:09:22,124
Come on in. Come on.
226
00:09:22,157 --> 00:09:23,627
Uhhhhh...
227
00:09:25,495 --> 00:09:26,963
You know, when I woke up this morning,
228
00:09:26,996 --> 00:09:29,566
I didn't think I was gonna
save a girl's life three times.
229
00:09:29,598 --> 00:09:32,102
But fate had other ideas.
230
00:09:32,135 --> 00:09:33,636
I was standing next to him,
231
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,139
and I could feel him
drawing strength from me.
232
00:09:36,171 --> 00:09:37,906
By the way, I know Dennis Franz.
233
00:09:37,939 --> 00:09:40,309
Hey. I'm Bobbi... with an "i."
234
00:09:40,343 --> 00:09:41,978
I'm Miggy... with a "y."
235
00:09:42,011 --> 00:09:43,346
You're funny.
236
00:09:43,378 --> 00:09:44,647
You're hysterical.
237
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,315
Oh. Okay.
238
00:09:46,348 --> 00:09:47,783
I'm afraid we're out of time, ladies.
239
00:09:47,816 --> 00:09:49,852
I guess we'll see you on the fairway.
240
00:09:49,886 --> 00:09:51,521
- Miggy, quickly.
- Nice to meet you.
241
00:09:51,554 --> 00:09:54,357
- I got five numbers and one fax.
- Wow.
242
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,759
How you doing, gorgeous?
243
00:09:55,791 --> 00:09:58,694
Well, I'm new to being hot,
so I'm no expert, but, uh,
244
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,830
is it normal to feel
both flattered and tired
245
00:10:01,863 --> 00:10:03,966
and like your soul
is caving in on itself?
246
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,802
That's 'cause you're cooking with gas!
247
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:08,137
Hey, guys, guys. What do you
think about Bobbi with an "i"?
248
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:09,973
Oh, please. That was forever ago.
249
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:11,841
She's probably dead by now. Onward.
250
00:10:11,873 --> 00:10:13,308
Oh, hey! It's my boss!
251
00:10:13,342 --> 00:10:14,843
I'm just gonna run and say hi.
252
00:10:14,877 --> 00:10:16,813
No, no, no! You don't
waste your glow on your boss.
253
00:10:16,846 --> 00:10:19,783
It's like those actors who take
their moms to the Oscars.
254
00:10:19,815 --> 00:10:20,816
Yeah, I love that, too.
255
00:10:20,849 --> 00:10:22,385
Wait, wait. Wait.
256
00:10:23,685 --> 00:10:25,320
Hello.
257
00:10:25,353 --> 00:10:27,156
I know Dennis Franz.
258
00:10:27,189 --> 00:10:28,691
Tracy. Oh, my God.
259
00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,694
I am so happy to see you...
a friendly face.
260
00:10:31,728 --> 00:10:33,128
Will? What are you doing here?
261
00:10:33,161 --> 00:10:34,497
- Oh...
- Wait.
262
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:35,999
Are you wearing wardrobe?
263
00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:37,674
Did you clear that with Deborah?
264
00:10:37,699 --> 00:10:40,069
No, these are my clothes.
265
00:10:40,103 --> 00:10:41,136
Oh. Okay.
266
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,872
- Do you mind if I sit?
- Sure.
267
00:10:42,905 --> 00:10:44,174
I'm waiting for someone,
268
00:10:44,207 --> 00:10:45,909
- Sure.
- but you can... keep me company.
269
00:10:45,941 --> 00:10:47,976
Whatcha reading? Probably
something smart, ya big nerd.
270
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:49,145
Um...
271
00:10:49,178 --> 00:10:50,347
N.W.A.'s cookbook.
272
00:10:51,347 --> 00:10:52,982
- "Straight Outta Chompton."
- I know.
273
00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:55,651
- You can make fun of me. It's fine.
- No, no, no, no.
274
00:10:55,684 --> 00:10:57,353
I'm not gonna make fun of you.
Let's see what we got here.
275
00:10:57,386 --> 00:10:59,222
N.W.A. nachos.
276
00:10:59,255 --> 00:11:00,824
Nachos with avocado.
277
00:11:00,857 --> 00:11:02,925
Healthy option... great.
278
00:11:05,228 --> 00:11:06,862
Do you live here?
279
00:11:06,896 --> 00:11:10,400
No, but sometimes I get homesick
and spend the night.
280
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:12,335
You know, do cannonballs in the pool,
281
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,002
roll around in the rose petals...
282
00:11:14,035 --> 00:11:16,372
do all the things
I'm "discouraged" from doing
283
00:11:16,405 --> 00:11:17,439
during the show.
284
00:11:17,473 --> 00:11:19,108
- Pfft.
- Bad.
285
00:11:19,141 --> 00:11:20,609
But enough about me.
286
00:11:20,642 --> 00:11:22,277
Anyone have questions about the show
287
00:11:22,310 --> 00:11:23,912
or... your love life?
288
00:11:23,945 --> 00:11:25,348
Hell yeah.
289
00:11:25,381 --> 00:11:27,083
One-on-one me, Chris.
290
00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:29,184
Why are we at the school at nighttime?!
291
00:11:29,218 --> 00:11:31,386
This is when the Mop Man comes!
292
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:32,421
Who's the Mop Man?
293
00:11:32,454 --> 00:11:34,590
Janitor Henderson Sr.
294
00:11:34,623 --> 00:11:36,625
He died in a freak boiler accident.
295
00:11:36,659 --> 00:11:38,128
Now he haunts the school,
296
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,030
looking for children to kill
and turn into mops!
297
00:11:41,063 --> 00:11:42,365
We should go block the door.
298
00:11:47,002 --> 00:11:48,470
I never heard of the Mop Man,
299
00:11:48,503 --> 00:11:51,039
and I edit Hilltop's
paranormal newsletter.
300
00:11:51,073 --> 00:11:53,276
Please. I made him up to scare Graham.
301
00:11:53,309 --> 00:11:55,078
Guys, help me! Come on!
302
00:11:56,112 --> 00:11:58,481
Deep down, I think he enjoys the thrill.
303
00:11:58,513 --> 00:12:00,382
Great. D'Amato's having a meltdown.
304
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:03,419
Is this what you imagined, Sophie?
305
00:12:04,987 --> 00:12:07,957
And I see her dangling there,
so I called out, "Look!
306
00:12:07,989 --> 00:12:10,626
That little girl's about to fall!"
307
00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:12,629
Some people are calling me
the "Look Guy."
308
00:12:12,661 --> 00:12:15,331
When's the, uh... cute one coming back?
309
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:19,836
This is a disaster.
310
00:12:19,868 --> 00:12:23,439
We're sinking faster
than the RMS Lusitania.
311
00:12:23,472 --> 00:12:24,808
Oh, I don't know.
312
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,643
I think I'm getting vibes
from Bobbi the golf lady.
313
00:12:27,676 --> 00:12:28,978
Oh, boy.
314
00:12:29,011 --> 00:12:31,314
Maybe she'll do that thing where
she puts her arms around me
315
00:12:31,347 --> 00:12:33,149
and teaches me how to swing a golf club.
316
00:12:33,181 --> 00:12:34,483
You know, like in "Tin Cup."
317
00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,151
Have you even seen "Tin Cup"?
318
00:12:36,184 --> 00:12:37,820
Nah, dawg. I read the synopsis.
319
00:12:37,853 --> 00:12:39,588
What the hell's taking Will so long?
320
00:12:39,622 --> 00:12:41,969
Come on... a whole-station karaoke night?
321
00:12:42,001 --> 00:12:43,166
We gotta put it on the books.
322
00:12:43,191 --> 00:12:44,359
No, we tried it once.
323
00:12:44,392 --> 00:12:46,161
- Guy McCormick got so drunk...
- Of course.
324
00:12:46,194 --> 00:12:47,830
...he stole all the mics...
325
00:12:47,863 --> 00:12:50,632
...and he treated us
to a four-hour concert.
326
00:12:50,665 --> 00:12:51,968
You know, that sounds terrible,
327
00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:53,303
but I'm also sorta sad I missed it.
328
00:12:55,503 --> 00:12:56,872
Mm.
329
00:12:57,839 --> 00:12:58,974
Oh.
330
00:12:59,007 --> 00:13:00,209
He's not coming.
331
00:13:00,242 --> 00:13:01,210
Shocker.
332
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,311
Who's that?
333
00:13:02,344 --> 00:13:05,047
Travis, my... boyfriend...
334
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,148
kind of.
335
00:13:06,181 --> 00:13:07,649
We're always stopping and starting.
336
00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:11,554
It's... It's kind of like
when you're on a Ferris wheel
337
00:13:11,587 --> 00:13:13,389
and it breaks down at the top
338
00:13:13,421 --> 00:13:16,825
and... all you can do
is kick and scream...
339
00:13:16,858 --> 00:13:18,660
"Help! I don't want to die here!"
340
00:13:18,685 --> 00:13:20,963
Yeah, I sort of feel like
all of my relationships
341
00:13:20,997 --> 00:13:23,532
have been assembled by
carnies, so I get it.
342
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:26,870
Do you want to get food?
343
00:13:26,902 --> 00:13:28,003
Really?
344
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:29,671
You'd... want to do that?
345
00:13:29,704 --> 00:13:31,473
- I do... if you do.
- Yeah.
346
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,010
I mean, anything has got to
better than the KZOP Café.
347
00:13:34,042 --> 00:13:35,978
That's what I call
the vending machines at work.
348
00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:38,848
Okay, Will, we need your glow!
349
00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:39,882
What?
350
00:13:39,915 --> 00:13:41,016
It's nothing. It's just...
351
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:43,519
Well, he's wearing
a sex cloak right now,
352
00:13:43,551 --> 00:13:45,487
and we're here to meet women...
as many as possible.
353
00:13:45,521 --> 00:13:47,323
It's a real buffet going on.
354
00:13:47,356 --> 00:13:48,891
Oh. Well...
355
00:13:48,925 --> 00:13:51,327
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night,
356
00:13:51,359 --> 00:13:53,662
uh, knowing I stood in the way
of you meeting
357
00:13:53,695 --> 00:13:55,864
- "as many women as possible," so...
- No. No, Tracy.
358
00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:57,332
I-It's not as creepy as it sounds!
359
00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:58,668
We've lost some time,
360
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:01,204
but a hot baby shower
is setting up at the raw bar.
361
00:14:01,237 --> 00:14:02,372
What the hell, man?!
362
00:14:02,405 --> 00:14:04,540
Tracy and I were having
a real connection.
363
00:14:04,573 --> 00:14:05,942
You asked me to help you.
364
00:14:05,974 --> 00:14:08,176
You want to waste your window,
be my guest.
365
00:14:08,209 --> 00:14:10,379
Tracy is not a waste of anything.
366
00:14:10,412 --> 00:14:12,080
Maybe she's exactly what I want...
367
00:14:12,113 --> 00:14:14,449
one person who I actually like
368
00:14:14,482 --> 00:14:16,718
and... who likes me, too.
369
00:14:16,752 --> 00:14:17,786
I mean, Miggy gets it.
370
00:14:19,435 --> 00:14:22,391
He's on my guest pass.
I can't be an accessory to this.
371
00:14:22,425 --> 00:14:23,726
Douglas, maybe...
372
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:25,728
you shouldn't be trying
to meet a ton of women,
373
00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:28,463
and instead, invest your time
into meeting one person
374
00:14:28,497 --> 00:14:29,966
who thinks that you glow no matter what.
375
00:14:29,998 --> 00:14:32,067
That way, the glow never ends.
376
00:14:32,101 --> 00:14:33,970
Now I'm gonna go after Tracy.
377
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:35,570
And maybe you should think about
378
00:14:35,603 --> 00:14:37,973
who you should be going after.
379
00:14:41,196 --> 00:14:44,313
Owen is great, but when is it
gonna blow up in my face?
380
00:14:44,347 --> 00:14:45,949
Because it always does, Chris.
381
00:14:45,982 --> 00:14:47,717
Men are trash!
382
00:14:47,742 --> 00:14:49,044
- No offense.
- It's fine.
383
00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:50,453
A lot of us are.
384
00:14:50,486 --> 00:14:51,654
Juan Pablo.
385
00:14:51,686 --> 00:14:53,889
What... What am I gonna do?
386
00:14:53,923 --> 00:14:55,558
Look, every woman
who's come to this mansion
387
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:56,925
has been hurt before.
388
00:14:56,958 --> 00:15:00,329
But they come here with no less
than 15 formal dresses
389
00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:03,465
and occasionally
a freakish costume for night 1,
390
00:15:03,498 --> 00:15:05,634
ready to put themselves out there again.
391
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:07,502
I know that's what you're
scared of the most, Angie.
392
00:15:07,535 --> 00:15:09,472
But you've done it before.
393
00:15:09,505 --> 00:15:10,974
Graham's dad.
394
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:13,008
Don't forget the twins'
karate instructor.
395
00:15:13,041 --> 00:15:15,077
Ohh. Master Gary.
396
00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:17,112
The things we did in that dojo.
397
00:15:17,146 --> 00:15:19,314
Love is out there.
398
00:15:19,348 --> 00:15:20,817
You gotta let it in.
399
00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:22,484
Damn, Chris.
400
00:15:22,517 --> 00:15:24,753
Okay, now, I have some questions
about the fantasy suites...
401
00:15:24,812 --> 00:15:26,822
- Right.
- 'Scuse. Coming through. Choo-choo! Hi!
402
00:15:26,856 --> 00:15:28,765
- Do you mind if I borrow him for a minute?
- I was still talking to...
403
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:30,526
It's gonna be real quick.
Thanks so much.
404
00:15:30,559 --> 00:15:32,783
And, uh, scoochy-scoochy.
405
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:34,963
- Here.
- Ah. Thanks, Chris.
406
00:15:34,997 --> 00:15:37,330
- So, back to Ron.
- Yeah.
407
00:15:37,355 --> 00:15:39,802
You know, I feel like I've done
so much work on myself,
408
00:15:39,834 --> 00:15:42,437
and now he's the one who gets
to live happily ever after?
409
00:15:42,471 --> 00:15:44,474
You're not jealous of Ron.
410
00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:46,809
What's really going on here? Be honest.
411
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:48,478
Okay.
412
00:15:48,511 --> 00:15:50,780
I guess I'm scared...
413
00:15:50,813 --> 00:15:52,314
that...
414
00:15:52,348 --> 00:15:53,949
it'll never happen for me.
415
00:15:57,019 --> 00:15:58,621
Poppy...
416
00:15:58,654 --> 00:16:00,289
...I've watched 23 seasons...
417
00:16:00,322 --> 00:16:02,492
group dates, one-on-ones,
418
00:16:02,525 --> 00:16:04,694
about 150 helicopter rides.
419
00:16:04,727 --> 00:16:05,999
Ooh, totally gonna do that.
420
00:16:06,024 --> 00:16:09,399
Yeah, they don't love it when
you take the helicopter out.
421
00:16:09,431 --> 00:16:10,665
Learned that the hard way.
422
00:16:10,699 --> 00:16:13,335
Point is, there's someone
out there for you.
423
00:16:13,368 --> 00:16:15,303
He might be closer than you think.
424
00:16:15,337 --> 00:16:17,840
Maybe... right in front of you.
425
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:20,877
Ooh, Chris Harrison!
426
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:22,545
I'm feeling a connection.
427
00:16:22,578 --> 00:16:24,247
- It's not me, Poppy.
- Got it.
428
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,716
But falling for me is
an incredibly common occurrence.
429
00:16:26,748 --> 00:16:29,151
Ladies, I am so sorry. I got to go.
430
00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:30,420
- No!
- Yeah.
431
00:16:30,453 --> 00:16:32,655
Doctor says I can't soak
more than nine hours a day.
432
00:16:32,688 --> 00:16:33,890
I've reached my limit.
433
00:16:33,923 --> 00:16:36,091
- I'll see you in a bit.
- Okay.
434
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:39,761
Is it just me, or do you feel better?
435
00:16:39,795 --> 00:16:41,164
About, like, everything?
436
00:16:41,197 --> 00:16:42,832
I do. I mean, I don't know what it is.
437
00:16:42,864 --> 00:16:44,699
If it's the champagne
or the mansion talking...
438
00:16:44,732 --> 00:16:46,268
Hell, part of me feels like we're in
439
00:16:46,301 --> 00:16:47,936
a "Bachelor"-fueled hallucination.
440
00:16:47,969 --> 00:16:50,672
I wonder that every... day.
441
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,441
- Phones are charged. There you go.
- Oh! Yes!
442
00:16:52,474 --> 00:16:54,444
I updated all your apps, as well.
443
00:16:54,477 --> 00:16:55,944
Thanks.
444
00:16:55,978 --> 00:16:57,112
You know what?
445
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,848
Whatever it is, I'm just glad
446
00:16:58,881 --> 00:17:01,151
that there might be
someone out there for me.
447
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:07,589
Hey, Ron. it's me.
448
00:17:07,623 --> 00:17:09,525
I'm calling to RSVP to your wedding.
449
00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:10,648
I'm coming.
450
00:17:10,673 --> 00:17:11,627
But clear some space,
451
00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:12,894
because I'm definitely
bringing a plus-one.
452
00:17:12,927 --> 00:17:14,097
I don't know who it is.
453
00:17:14,129 --> 00:17:16,465
10% chance it might be
Chris Harrison. What?!
454
00:17:16,499 --> 00:17:18,768
But whoever it is,
I'll definitely find love
455
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,102
before your wedding rolls around.
456
00:17:20,136 --> 00:17:21,637
M'kay. Bye.
457
00:17:24,973 --> 00:17:27,609
Okay, is that a bikini bottom
floating in the Jacuzzi?!
458
00:17:27,643 --> 00:17:29,384
- Let's get out of here.
- Ew! Out.
459
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,583
- Hi.
- Will.
460
00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:33,886
I-I know it's weird I'm at your house,
461
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:36,421
but I-I was trying to text you
to explain about tonight,
462
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:38,057
and then you weren't responding,
463
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:39,457
and I realized why.
464
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:42,361
Oh, God! Get it together, Freeze!
465
00:17:42,393 --> 00:17:44,662
Listen, I think...
you got the wrong idea
466
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:45,731
about me tonight,
467
00:17:45,764 --> 00:17:47,498
because I wasn't there to mee...
468
00:17:47,532 --> 00:17:48,667
Hi! A man!
469
00:17:48,699 --> 00:17:50,401
Tracy, there's a man in your house.
470
00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:52,150
Travis, this is... my coworker Will.
471
00:17:52,175 --> 00:17:54,006
- Oh, hey. How's it going?
- How are you?
472
00:17:54,038 --> 00:17:55,573
He was nice enough to
rescue my phone from the club.
473
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,675
Oh. Thanks, man. Cool.
474
00:17:56,707 --> 00:17:57,743
Oh, I'm no hero.
475
00:17:57,775 --> 00:17:59,544
I'm just a guy who saw a phone,
picked it up,
476
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:00,846
and brought it back to its owner.
477
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,113
It's what anyone would have done.
478
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:03,983
- Oh, cool, man. Thanks.
- You got it.
479
00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:09,254
It's hard to get off the Ferris wheel.
480
00:18:09,286 --> 00:18:11,422
Yeah, it's why
I normally stay on the ground,
481
00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:12,591
eating funnel cake.
482
00:18:21,765 --> 00:18:24,135
You know, the last time
I wore one of these,
483
00:18:24,168 --> 00:18:25,938
I was getting fired from a KFC.
484
00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:27,371
Shh.
485
00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:28,807
Turn that ass around.
486
00:18:33,078 --> 00:18:35,080
"Tin Cup"! It's happening!
487
00:18:50,528 --> 00:18:52,430
The band's back together.
488
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:02,006
No. Stupid.
489
00:19:20,524 --> 00:19:22,326
P-P-Poppy? Y-You're up?
490
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,163
It's so late.
491
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,597
Hey. Yeah.
492
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:28,467
Um... somehow, I thought you'd be up.
493
00:19:34,371 --> 00:19:35,707
What are you doing?
494
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,276
They were right. I am a nerd.
495
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:39,945
Doesn't matter anyway.
496
00:19:39,977 --> 00:19:42,346
The Mop Man's gonna
murder all of us by sunrise.
497
00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:45,016
Graham, the Mop Man isn't real.
498
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:46,217
Rory made it up.
499
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,519
What?!
500
00:19:48,553 --> 00:19:50,389
He got me again.
501
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:52,823
Got to give it to him...
the guy's creative.
502
00:19:52,857 --> 00:19:53,992
Well...
503
00:19:54,024 --> 00:19:56,728
I know how to get back at Rory.
504
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,206
God! Where is the Uber?!
505
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:08,806
I have to get home and pee.
506
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,409
There's no working plumbing
in that mansion...
507
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,909
but a curling iron in every room.
508
00:20:11,943 --> 00:20:13,412
Yeah, I didn't call one.
509
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:14,646
I called someone else.
510
00:20:14,678 --> 00:20:16,515
Douglas?
511
00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,056
It hurts!
512
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,994
What the hell is he wearing?
513
00:20:29,026 --> 00:20:30,053
I don't know.
514
00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,563
God. I can't hold it anymore.
515
00:20:32,597 --> 00:20:33,899
I'm just gonna pee in the fountain.
516
00:20:33,931 --> 00:20:36,434
There's no way I'm the first
person to pee in that thing.
517
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,838
- I like your outfit.
- Thank you.
518
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:49,781
Wait!!
519
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,560
Don't leave me here!
520
00:20:53,193 --> 00:20:55,013
IVámonos, muchachos!
521
00:20:55,038 --> 00:20:57,054
My mom said she'd pick us up
right at 10:00.
522
00:20:57,088 --> 00:20:58,890
Relax. This is Angie
we're talking about.
523
00:20:58,922 --> 00:21:01,826
The woman's always late.
She's on Hawaiian time.
524
00:21:06,730 --> 00:21:07,898
Why are you guys out of breath?
525
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:09,200
Why are you in a gown?
526
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,569
Just get in the van, Rory.
527
00:21:11,902 --> 00:21:13,237
So, how was Louisa's?
528
00:21:13,271 --> 00:21:14,373
- Fun.
- Really?
529
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,140
She kinda creeps me out.
530
00:21:24,339 --> 00:21:29,339
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
38123
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