All language subtitles for MacGyver 1985 - 2x03 - Twice Stung.DVDRip.MEDiEVAL.en

I don't care what anybody says,
birthdays are important.

So when a good friend's turning 60

and I'm returning from another
government mission,

there isn't a much faster
way to get home

than to catch a ride
on a T-38 A CE flight.

It's a good thing they didn't
serve a meal on this flight,

because my heart was
already in my mouth.

It may not have been
first-class seating,

but who cares, with pilots like this.

The Phoenix Foundation has thrown
some wild parties before,

but this time Pete really decided
to do it up right.

- Surprise!
- Surprise!

Happy birthday, Kelly!

Oh, he's not Kelly.

Nice to know I'm so appreciated.
Thank you.

All right, everyone, let's clean up the
confetti and the streamers right away.

And quickly.

And turn that map light off.
Kelly's gonna be here any second.

Mac, it's good to see you,
but you're a day early.

- What are you doing here?
- It's for Kelly. I wouldn't miss it.

But to tell you the truth, I'd show up
anywhere to see you wearing that hat.

So how'd you con Kelly
into coming over?

I lied. I told him one of our
computers was down

and needed to be fixed right away.

You know, it's not like him
to be late.

No answer at his place.

- Where'd that come from?
- Listen to this, Pete.

"Dear Mac: if anything will improve
your game, this will. Kelly."

Well, your game could stand
a little improving.

Pete...

...you know that favourite pair
of hockey gloves I've got?

The old beat-up ones? Yeah.

Yeah, well, I'd never give those away.
This is Kelly's favourite cue stick.

Something's wrong.

I'll wait here in case he shows up.

Kelly?

Kelly, it's me, Mac.

Open up.

Kelly!

Come on!

Come on!

Happy birthday, Kelly.

I just can't believe you'd
do something that dumb.

What was going through
your head, Kelly?

- Let it go, Mac.
- No, I won't!

I wanna know why a guy I know,
a guy I thought I knew,

a man I respect,
would try and take his own life.

Kelly, you've got three kids.
Did you forget about them?

I did it for them!

I turn 60 years old today, and
you know what I got to show for it?

Nothing. I'm broke.

All those years of scrimping
and saving, I got nothing left,

you understand?

How? You were always so careful
with your money.

It's gone, Mac. Doesn't matter how.

I got two kids in college
and another one in grad school.

What am I gonna tell them?

A man's not worth much

if he can't help pay
his kids' education.

That's what this idiot stunt
was all about? Pride?

I figured, with my insurance,
I'm worth more dead than alive.

Kelly, you could have
come to me. Or Pete.

I don't like going to people
with my problem.

You don't go to people with your
problems. You come to your friends.

Well, you don't always
remember that.

Yeah, I know.

All right, how'd you lose it?

I was cheated.
Can you believe that?

I got nothing left.

He-- He made it sound so enticing.

Cheated how?

I invested in some land development.

A swamp bottom, it turned out to be.

Give me a name, Kelly.

Forget it, Mac.
This guy is dangerous.

- I found out he killed some people.
- I want his name.

James Crowe. I already had
Research check him out.

He's a regular criminal entrepreneur,
this guy.

Stickup man in his youth,
a fence, a shakedown artist.

Even deals in cocaine
if the price is right.

- Busy guy.
- Yeah.

But this latest was a land-fraud deal

that took Kelly for 35,000,
along with seven others.

Retirees, all of them.

- Four hundred thousand dollars in all.
- What do the police say?

They know he's a thief.
But the fraud is a technical fine line.

The DA won't file charges,
so the police closed the file.

- Hi, Joanne Remmings.
- MacGyver.

Oh, I've heard about you. You're the
guy that does the whatchamacallits.

You know, MacGyverisms,
turns one thing into another?

"MacGyverisms"?

Joanne is new here.
She just signed on.

In addition to threat assessment
and terrorist strategy,

she just happens to have written

a major research paper
on bunco scams.

Here it comes. James Crowe.

Seven indictments, zero convictions.
Every con in the book.

- A man of many talents.
- Yeah, he really gets around.

Oh, I'd really like to get
this guy Crowe

and hang him by his ears
for what he did to Kelly.

That makes two of us.

What else do you know
about this guy?

Well, he can't stay
away from the track.

Give Crowe a horse to bet on,
and he's in seventh heaven.

And silk. He loves to wear white
silk suits with a Panama hat.

Every day.
Probably has a closet full of them.

Well, whatever he wears,

the DA's office doesn't figure
they've got a guaranteed conviction,

- so the police have lost interest.
- Maybe it takes a con to beat a con.

I mean, I hate to toot my own horn,
guys, but I know some great stings.

I'd love to help you nail this guy.

- No, I don't think so.
- We could use the Philadelphia Flash.

Or the Toledo Twist.

No, no, no.

I kind of like this idea.

Mac, I can't get the Foundation
involved in something like this.

Absolutely not.
That's why it'll be just you and me.

- And me.
- Come on, Pete.

Do it for Kelly and all the
other people Crowe's cheated.

All we gotta do is get back 400,000.

That's all? Listen, I could get
my head handed to me

for getting into something like this.

Pete, guy...

...you're dying to do it, you know it.

Yeah. It would be great, wouldn't it?

To see if we could out-bunco
Mr. Bunco himself.

All right.

I want everything you know
about bunco scams

on my desk in half an hour.

Hey, wait a minute.
What about me?

Hey, I'm the one who knows
all this stuff.

Hey, guys!

Ladies and gentlemen, the horses
are coming onto the track

for the fourth race, which will
be run at a distance of one mile.

The last race was a bust.

You know, Benny's obviously
not a very smart trainer.

Smart trainers dope horses
when I tell them to.

I think we need to have a very
active conversation with Benny.

Find him.

Again, as a reminder,
scratches in the fourth race

are number three, Paranormal,
and number seven, Nomaly.

There's Crowe.

How do I look?

You look good.

Now you look great. Come on.

The horses are approaching
the starting gate.

Mac, I don't know. I'm telling you,

I had this hot flash on
lreland's Own last night.

What are you talking about?
Ireland's Own is a mudder.

- She only runs in the rain.
- So who did you bet on for me, then?

Now, if I tell you that,
it won't come true, remember?

- Okay.
- The flag is up and they're off!

- All right, let's go--
- Go! Go!

- Hey, not so loud.
- Come on, run, baby, run!

Hey, buddy! Knock it off, will you?
You are yelling in my ear!

- Knock it off or I'm gonna call a cop.
- A cop? Do you want a cop?

You got one right here.
Don't yell in my ear anymore.

- I'll run you in.
- All right.

- For disturbing my peace.
- Okay.

At the three-quarter pole,
Chocaholic moves up

- and is now in third position.
- All right, let's go.

On the rail,
Paris Red is in the lead.

Snow Miss is second
by half a length over Chocaholic.

Chocaholic looks strong. And now
it's Paris Red and Chocaholic.

Okay, come on, let's go.

As they head for the wire, it's Paris
Red and Chocaholic neck and neck.

And at the finish, it's Chocaholic,
number two, winner by a nose.

Well, so, what happened?
Did I win?

When I'm hot, I'm hot.

- MacGyver, I like your style.
- Yeah?

You and me are gonna
do things together, buddy.

Yeah? Like what?

First, as soon as I get a little cash,
I'm gonna give you a bonus.

And second, I'm gonna cut you in
on the deal of your life.

If you don't mind getting a little dirty.

A little dirt never hurt anybody.

Hey, I gotta get back to the station
before they miss me.

Yeah.

Deal of a lifetime, huh?

Name's James Crowe.

And that's a pretty lame con
you're running on the cop.

- Don't know what you're talking about.
- Please, Mr. MacGyver,

I heard and saw the whole thing.
All the losing tickets,

making your idiot cop think you
have the Midas touch.

All you saw was me making
a friend real happy, that's it.

Maybe I can make
all three of us happy.

I don't mind getting
a little dirty either,

especially if I have
the added protection

of a tarnished badge in my pocket.

- I'm listening.
- Your cop mentioned

he had a certain deal
he needed some cash for.

Well, I might have some ready cash.

Of course, I'd have to be
cut in on the action.

- I might be able to arrange that.
- Maybe you and I ought to

have a more detailed conversation.

Say, stables, 20 minutes.

Done.

Joanne?

What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?
- Following you.

- Why?
- Because I'm tired of just sitting

in front of a computer.
I need field experience.

You picked a fine time
to try and get it.

But you guys don't know stings
the way I do. I can really help you.

I mean, like finding the mark and
playing the con and roping the mark

and telling the tale. I know this stuff
like the back of my hand.

- I appreciate everything you're--
- Look, I wanna be where the action is.

This way. This way.
Bring him over here.

Looks like you just got your wish.

Ever hear of a blind trainer, Benny?

Next time I tell you to dope a horse,

I bet you do it.

MacGyver, they're gonna kill him.
We've got to do something.

Take him down that way.

Bring him in there.

Tony, keep an eye out.

Now we'll have a little fun.

- Come here.
- What are we gonna do?

- Give me a couple of bobby pins.
- Bobby pin--? Sure.

Great. Let me borrow this.
And a couple of buttons.

- Make it three.
- Another MacGyverism.

That's it. And let me borrow
your glasses, please.

- They're yours.
- Yeah, thanks.

So, what do we do now?

You just did it.

Time to meet the bad guys.

Yo, Crowe!

- Hey, I thought we were gonna talk.
- I thought I told you 20 minutes.

- I guess my watch is a little fast, huh?
- Yeah.

Let him go.

Listen, Benny,
next time I'm really gonna

have to do some damage, you know?
So don't let me down, huh?

I'll do better for you next time,
Mr. Crowe. I promise I will.

You'd better.

- Well, who's your friend?
- She has an admirer.

A certain cop you may have seen me
with earlier who happens to be

- in the Narcotics division.
- lnteresting.

Now, this cop has some
pretty heavy gambling debts,

and with a little persuasion from
Joanne, might be convinced to--

To hook us into a nice little
cocaine deal

he has going down
in the next couple of days.

Right. Cocaine. Like she says.

Well, I like a woman with initiative.

Tell me, you think you'll be able
to talk our narc friend

into this little proposition?

Well, I've talked him
into propositions before.

So was I good? Oh, I was great!

How'd you like the way I hooked him
into the Toledo Twist,

one of the best stings I've
ever researched?

Yeah, Joanne, that's just great.

Except after reading all
the research you came up with,

Pete and I decided to go
with the Boston Bang.

Oh, that's all wrong for this.
The Twist is much better.

But that wasn't
your decision to make.

Listen, have you researched
this stuff? No.

Well, that's what I do.
I've got it nailed.

And the Toledo Twist
is the one to use.

Could I have my glasses back?

- You can keep the bobby pins.
- Thanks.

Mac.

You know,
Crowe is gonna check on me,

so I just had Data feed
my cover into the police computers.

I'm a visiting narc on rotation.

That's great, Pete.
What's in the bag?

Everything we're gonna need
for the Boston Bang.

- Mac, it's gonna be terrific.
- Yeah.

Pete, how do you feel
about the Toledo Twist?

The Twist? Why?

I've had my heart set
on the Boston Bang.

- Well, Joanne thinks--
- Joanne?

Pete, trust me. Don't ask her
to explain. Just go with it.

I just bought all this stuff.

Besides, we'd need more people
for the Toledo Twist.

I know, and I got just the guy.

- Who?
- Our old friend Kelly.

But Crowe knows
what Kelly looks like.

Don't worry.
He'll be wearing a beard.

This better be good, MacGyver.

I got a busy day ahead of me
busting dingheads.

I'm sure there's
a proposition that'll be

of mutual benefit
to both of us, Mr. Thornton.

So you're Crowe, huh?

- I'm listening.
- I understand you know

of a certain deal
that's about to happen.

That you may be willing
to split the profits

for a partner with some ready cash.

Maybe.

And that you're up to
your neck in debt.

What the hell are you doing,
telling this guy my business?!

I ought to beat your brains out!

- He's got cash, and we need it.
- Pete, get ahold of yourself.

- Come on, honey. Let him go.
- Come on.

- Pete.
- Come on.

- Okay, are we all friends again here?
- Sure we are.

Pete just gets a little anxious
sometimes, that's all.

I've been working on this deal
for a long time.

I don't want anybody to screw it up.

I'm just here to help. What can I do?

We need a pound
of 90 percent pure cocaine

to get the deal rolling.
Can you score it?

Yeah, but that's a nice chunk of green
you're asking me to lay out.

- You're a narc, why can't you get it?
- I'm risking enough already.

Look, you don't wanna buy in,
I'll find somebody who will.

Hey, Pete, wait a minute! Come on!

You afraid he's gonna bust you
for possession?

Never entered my mind. If he tried,
I'd bury him for entrapment.

Even he's smart enough
to know that.

I don't wanna be left
sitting on a pound of snort.

What, a guy like you can't unload
a pound of coke? Is that it?

Maybe you're getting
a little too cautious.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

All right, tell your
hotheaded partner I'll do it.

All right, meet me tonight.

Nine sharp at the
Beverly Canyon Hotel, suite 1 61 1.

Bring the coke with you.
Have it in a plastic bag.

- Now, what's going down?
- I'll lay it on you when I see the goods.

You show up, you don't like what you
see, walk away. It's as simple as that.

Okay.

Hey, not bad.

You guys pick a nice place
for a sting.

Nothing but the best
for our friend Crowe.

- Everything set?
- Yeah, fine.

Did you check your gun,
make sure you're just firing blanks?

- Mac, I've already checked it twice.
- Come on.

Oh, I just love this kind of stuff.

- Well, I really do.
- Yeah.

Showtime.

I hope Kelly's beard stays on.

- Everything ready?
- Yeah, right down here.

Hey.

Two-way mirror. Very nice.

This setup looks like the
Sacramento Switch. Is that it?

Yeah. So where's the stuff?

Patience, officer.

You sure that hasn't been cut
with anything?

Top of the line cocaine, my friend.
Tested it myself.

Oh, boy, you gotta be a real
bonehead to snort this stuff.

That looks real.
What is that, powdered milk?

Among other things.

Then when your buyer
wants to test the coke,

you're gonna hand him my bag and it's
gonna test out 90 percent pure, right?

So the dimwit who's paying
300 grand for this stuff

- gets 1 pound of high-grade toot--
- And 9 pounds of powdered milk.

You guys are okay.

Look at this guy.
It's like taking candy from a baby.

All right. Let's see what
the money buys.

- Okay.
- Pure as the driven snow.

Now, hold on, son.
Let's not be too hasty.

This boy's mama
didn't raise no dummy.

- Where'd that come from?
- All right, just be cool.

- Pete can handle it.
- No, this is going down bad.

- Put the gun away.
- Get away.

Nailed him.

What are you doing? You wanna be
here when the cops come?

- Everyone out.
- What about my coke?

That is evidence. I gotta have
something to show to lnternal Affairs.

Come on, get out. Not all at once!

I don't want it looking
like Grand Central Station.

Crowe, you go first.

All right, but I want a meeting.
Tomorrow, at the dam.

- We'll be there. We'll be there!
- Noon.

Kelly.

Kelly. Kelly!

I may be dead, but I'm not deaf.

Oh, thank God. Crowe missed.

- You...
- These blood capsules look pretty real.

You know, you scared
the hell out of us.

- Yeah, you and me both.
- Oh, Kelly, you were terrific!

Yeah, I even surprised myself.

Well, this is one bag of coke
that is not gonna hit the streets.

It's as good as flushed.

Mac, help me pick up
this money, will you?

- I wanna get it back to the vaults.
- You mean all this money is real?

- But you said it was fake.
- I didn't want you to get nervous.

Are you telling me you let this man
carry around $300,000 in cash

and he thought it was fake money?!

I didn't want to affect
his performance.

Do you think Crowe bought it?

Yeah.

And tomorrow we tell the tale.

- How'd it go?
- Not good. I want some insurance.

And she's it.

Now, follow her.
Find out where she lives.

Okay, now, let's go through
this one more time.

Come on, it's good to be ready.

Now, if Crowe asks why MacGyver

has to go into the
police property room with you--

I just say that it's a lot quicker
for four hands

to pack up $2 million than two.

- Right.
- Rehearsal's over, kids.

I lost money last night.
I hate losing money.

How'd you like to make
a million bucks in one day?

- You kill me, MacGyver.
- Come on, listen to me.

The money from last night went
into the police property room,

which holds
a whole lot more money.

And I have easy access
to that property room.

If you want in, all you gotta do
is come up with 400,000 cash.

We take your 400 grand
and turn it into 2 million

once we get into the police property
room. Then we pull a switch.

You spend 400,000,
you make a million dollars' profit.

Why should I believe you?
You've already lost me money.

- Now I should give you more?
- Hey, wait a minute.

You're the one that blew it last night,
not us, Crowe.

You're lucky we came back to you.
Hey, listen, if you're not interested--

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
All right, say I give you the cash.

- How do you pull this off?
- Joanne, get the suitcase.

I put your money in a suitcase
with a false bottom, like this, see?

Your money goes on top,

because the watch commander
is gonna check it,

naturally, to make sure it's real.

And we put pop-up stacks
of fake money in the false bottom.

Just put the ends together like this
and you got it. See?

It's terrific.

- Looks good.
- Oh, they look a lot better

with real money stacked
on top of them.

By the time they find out
that the money is gone,

there will have been so many
people in and out of there,

they'll never know who took it.

So tomorrow Mac and Pete go
down into the police property room

with the suitcase
at exactly two minutes to 1.

Pete tells the watch commander
he got the money in a bust.

The watch commander gives me
the key to the property room,

and then he goes to lunch
at 1 :00.

And he just leaves you
alone in the room?

- I'm a cop. Cops trust cops.
- MacGyver's not a cop.

He's the witness to the crime.

I have to take his statement as soon
as I'm through in the property room.

And then MacGyver helps me
load the money.

Four hands are better than two.

Not bad. Not bad.

What are you gonna do about the
2 million? You can't take it out in that.

The Brockman trunk.
It's a case Pete was handling.

It's finally going to trial tomorrow.

You see, Mr. Brockman killed his
fourth wife. He hid her body in a trunk.

I have been subpoenaed
to take that trunk

out of the property room tomorrow
and down to the court as evidence.

And, Mr. Crowe, here's the topper:

That trunk is just about the right size
to hold $2 million.

If I lose 400 grand on this deal,

you're gonna wish you never
laid eyes on me, you know.

What do you mean,
it's too dangerous?

This whole thing was my idea.
I don't believe you guys.

After all I've done, you're not gonna
let me be in on the touch.

I can't be responsible for you
out there if anything goes wrong.

- I'm not asking you to be.
- No good.

You're out of it. My decision.

A peace offering, huh?

Come on in.

Thank you.

Interesting breakfast.

I always photograph strange things
when I'm angry.

You must get angry a lot.

So I'm still not going
with you guys tomorrow?

No. And you know it's
for your own good, too.

My own good?

So, what's in the bag?

Pastrami on rye.

You call that a peace offering?

Oh, terrific.
I'm always blowing a fuse.

Come on, I have some extras
in the kitchen.

MacGyver.

Phone's dead.

Got a flashlight?

This battery should do it.

- I need some matchbooks too.
- Matchbooks, okay.

Two of them.

All I have to do is connect your
floodlight wires to this battery.

This should bridge the gap.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna try and brighten
their evening a little bit.

Come on.

Mac!

What's going on, Crowe?

Let's just say if I'm gonna
give you 400 grand,

I'm gonna need
a little insurance policy.

- What do you want?
- Simple.

Tomorrow we'll meet outside
the Decker Street police station.

You'll go in with my money, you'll do
the switcheroo in the property room,

you'll put the $2 million in the trunk,
bring it out to me

and then I'll give you the girl.

- When?
- Don't worry, MacGyver.

She'll be with me.
I'm gonna be nearby.

- You'll get her when I get the trunk.
- What if I say no to your deal?

- Well, then, she's dead.
- MacGyver.

It's a deal. She's yours.

Yes.

Come on.

I should have known Crowe
would cover his flanks.

- Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
- Yeah, we got cocky.

Look, Joanne is gonna be all right.

As long as Crowe needs her.

Pete.

Crowe's always slipped
through the cops' fingers

- by using legal technicalities, right?
- Yeah.

Well, what if the cops found him

in their property room
with his hand in the till?

That'd be a little tough to explain,
don't you think?

Well, sure, but our plan
didn't include taking Crowe

- into the police station with us.
- What if we convince him

that we can't be trusted
with his money?

- Then he'd wanna go in, wouldn't he?
- Well, why should he?

He knows we're not gonna do anything
funny as long as he's got Joanne.

Unless he thinks
we don't care about her.

- You got the whole 400,000 in there?
- That's all of it.

You got the fake money in here?

Very good. Okay.

Yeah, I love the smell of money,
don't you?

Nothing like it.

Clears the sinuses,
you know what I mean?

- By the way, your girlfriend says hello.
- Oh, yeah?

Good.

Well, give us about 20 minutes,
and we'll be back with $2 million.

Wait a second, wait a second.

You gentlemen seem
a little too eager here.

What about the girl?
You didn't ask about her.

- How is she?
- She's fine.

She's watching us right now
with a gun pointed at her head.

Oh, she's out here.
You're not gonna find her.

Well, looks like you got us, Crowe.

Hold it. Maybe this girl doesn't mean
as much to you as I thought.

- That girl? Is my life.
- Yeah, right.

And everybody's got a price.

I'm going in with you.

Nobody's gonna handle
my money but me.

Now, wait a minute. That's crazy.

My plan didn't include you going into
the property room, just MacGyver.

Instead of having one witness to your
supposed drug bust, you'll have two.

When you see me come down
with the trunk, send the girl out.

Come on.

Now, move to that door.
Don't say a word. Move.

You know, you guys are really
gonna get it this time...

I guess you don't remember me,
do you, Crowe?

But then, you don't remember
any of the people

you con out of their life savings.

Look familiar?

Do you hear that, honey?

Because if your boys don't come up
with the money, then you're history.

Get him in there!
Get him down in there.

One peep out of you, Crowe,
you'll never live to see daylight again.

Have a nice day.

All right, easy. Easy.

Come on.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

Come on!

Thanks.

How you doing?

Well, what can I do you for?

Sergeant Thornton.

I got a trunk here
with a lot of coke in it.

I had a lousy bust.
The guy got away, but I got his stash.

Lucky you. What about him?

Oh, the detective and I are
very attached to one another.

He's a pickpocket.

I gotta get him downtown for an
arraignment as soon as we're through.

So we gonna get
this booked in already?

- I got a busy day ahead of me.
- Sure.

But you gotta have a 31 4-72A form
before I can do anything.

Okay, but I gotta get the watch
commander's John Hancock on this.

Wait here.

- Hey.
- Yeah.

You reading the sports section?

- No. You-- You want it?
- Yeah, thanks.

I'll give it back to you
as soon as I'm done.

Sure.

Sarge, I need your okay
on this, please.

Joe, I'm kind of in a hurry.
Could you get the sarge to okay...?

I'm looking at two dead men.

- Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.
- You're dead meat, MacGyver!

You're both dead!

You're dead meat!

Come on, let's go.

- What's taking him so damn long?
- Take it easy.

Excuse me. No, no, you first.

Give me a hand.

Now, Mac, this part
we take nice and easy.

Sarge, I need your autograph here.

Do you mind? There's a line here.

That's Crowe. Come on.

Howdy.

What, are you stupid?
What, are you gonna shoot him?

- There's a million cops out here.
- Where the hell's Crowe?

Who cares? Let's get the money.

Okay, I'll get the van.

Thanks.

You know, you could
have been a doctor.

Who the hell are you?

And what are you doing in my cage?

Gee, you're all tied up.

- Maybe I should come back later.
- MacGyver.

- MacGyver?
- Yeah, the pants could come in a little,

but they're not bad, huh?
Come on.

Quick, there were two other guys
here too. With a trunk!

Twenty years on the force,
I never had so much excitement.

You're not gonna just
let them get away.

Nope, I think the bottom's
about to fall out of that plan.

- That's the guys!
- Right there!

- Freeze!
- Hands up!

Get your hands up!

Come on.

- So, what do you think now, Kelly?
- Hey, after helping you guys

pull this off,
I feel like I can do anything.