Original subtitles

Last season OnRealEstate.

Some agencies, they help their clients

sell their houses by reducing clutter.

We help them by stopping the walls from bleeding.

I’m Luke Roman.

I have this kind of connection to these things all of my life.

- If you like her... - Hey.

you should make a move.

Everybody, this is Susan Ireland, our new agent.

The technical term

is telekinesis.

Tonight, for the first time in my entire life,

I really felt like

I was in control.

Those things, they can hurt you!

They are dangerous.

Until you learn a little more about them

you might want to think about doing things our way.

Oh, dear.

This house is clean.

Bitch.

The things I’ve seen these past few months

feel like one big hallucination.

I’m going to be really busy over the next few weeks.

Guess maybe you’ll see me if you have time.

- Here, buddy, look at me! - Something’s changed.

The voices, they’re not there.

I got nothing.

Hey, I can handle things for a little while.

I’m afraid you’re going to have to.

These final negotiations

are always a little...

tricky.

Of course, the seller wants something.

The buyer wants something else.

And, sometimes, there are

other parties involved

who have desires of their own.

That’s when your representation really matters.

Excuse me. I just need to take this.

- Zooey, where is he? - I don’t know.

He was in his car headed your way

when his phone cut out! Did you check in with August?

August is a little busy right now.

Oh, dear.

Oh, shit!

- He’s here! - Does he have the key?

- Do you have the key? - That thing zapped my car

and chased me the last eight blocks!

Real estate is exciting, isn’t it?

Okay, if August crunched these numbers correctly,

you have, like, seven minutes, max.

One sec. Hi.

Suppose I could trouble you for a glass of water

and some Tylenol?

I have the key!

Technology is not cooperating.

As soon as the numbers come up on screen,

we need to reset the clock, wind it up and make...

Augie, was that you?

I find nothing funny about our current situation.

Nothing electrical seems to work.

Looks like we have to do this old school.

This was so much simpler when Luke could just

talk to these things.

Those days are gone.

Come on, come on!

Read me the numbers when you get ’em!

Uh, it looks like eight.

Four, eight.

- Four eight? That’s not a time! - Well, that’s what it says!

Wait. The O in four is directly above the H in eight.

Oh, oh! Four-oh-eight.

Oh! Duh.

Resync By M_I_S www.opensubtitles.org

See, the house was owne by two brothers.

An electrician and a plumber. But...

one night the electrician murdered the plumber.

So, like Cain and Abel in the Bible.

Yeah, most of the really nasty shit

starts in that particular book.

Anyway, they say the grandfather clock you have

stopped at that moment. So,

we had to track down the exact time of death,

find a key that would work in the clock,

reset it and then get it running

so that the plumber could move on, but...

the electrician fought us every step of the way.

So... Ooh!

- Who wants to sell a house? - Are you okay?

Oh, I’m super! I’m super!

August just has a little wet cleanup to do in aisle five

and then we’re good to go.

So, what now?

Well, now we sell this place!

Well, we’re a little worried ’cause our neighbors,

they showed their house nonstop for six months

before they found a buyer.

Remember, it only takes one.

One person to step into a house and whammo!

Feels like home.

Does it ever really happen that way, though?

Oh, it totally does! See...

I believe the right house is like a soulmate.

You can look at a thousand other houses

but when the right one comes along, you know.

And it’s magic.

Well, let’s hope for some magic.

Thanks, Susan! You’re amazing!

I, uh, I don’t suppose you have any jumper cables, do you?

Hey, Susan in yet?

- Hopefully not for a while. - I have seven urgent messages

for her and she’s late for the Cantervilles.

Yeah, well, I’m, uh, six houses behind

on PIP searches and HCP profiles.

- Have you seen August? - In his workshop.

He slept on his couch last night.

Yeah, I keep telling myself busy is good, but damn!

This is what our future looks like

if Luke doesn’t get back, like, now.

Any word at all?

Well, then it’s time to rattle his cage a little.

It’s an absolute bloodbath out there.

Your neighborhood is white-hot and you’re competing with

every house on the block.

It’s a seller’s market. It’s like...

it’s like a big, angry bear and with this kitchen,

your house is Leonardo DiCaprio waving a stick.

Mm, but it’s so much money.

Look, you knock out this wall, put in a nice big island,

upgrade those appliances, a backsplash here,

a wine fridge there and...

you can increase your asking price to this...

But you’ll only be spending...

that.

Your R-O-I is going to be at least 84%!

Even more if there’s a bidding war

and there is nothing like a farm sink

and a restaurant-quality stove

to make a buyer think about invading Poland.

You are a rock star, Susan!

Well...

These are killing me, August.

I am literally dying.

"The idea is to die young

as late as possible."

Ashley Montague.

I know this agency was founded on Luke’s ability

to see these things,

talk with them, reason with them,

even when they didn’t feel like it.

A difficult gift to replace with technology.

But he can’t do that anymore! So you’re the guy!

There has to be something more efficient here

than Scrabble tiles.

And yet they came through.

Keep working it, Augie.

Hello!

Tell me how you died!

Hm.

Hm!

- Ha. - Hm.

- What a day. - Yeah.

How are we doing on McTeer and Bryce?

Uh, McTeer title’s clean.

Bryce had a lien from a crazy roofer,

but we’re getting it cleared up.

Did you finish the PIP on Sanderson?

Uh, two previous owners, no DOPs,

no Undies, no Baby Janes.

Okay. No deaths on premises,

nobody buried under the basement and...

Don’t tell me.

Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, 1962.

Uh, uh, nobody... Blah!

Nobody being tormented by a family member!

- That’s it! - Uh!

Um...

I, uh,

I noticed you brought in three more normies this week.

Not every house has to be a horror show.

Oh, and I’m supposed to look at a bank repo this afternoon

that Julie Chen is interested in.

Ah.

Aren’t you getting, um, a little tired?

And I’m only asking because the rest of us

are really exhausted watching you.

I thrive on being busy. Always have.

I’m living my best life.

Next step is to take out the wall.

Try not to make too much of a mess.

You’re on a crusade about the radiation.

Yeah, they have... gamma rays on vegetables.

What the hell is that?

I don’t know.

Ah!!

They asked us to look for...

the finger...

so they could sew it back on.

Any luck?

Guy’s probably lawyering up as we speak and where’s Susan?

It was her idea to remodel the kitchen.

Well, Susan is primarily a sales and marketing specialist.

When shit gets real and your walls start to bleed,

they generally call on Mister Ripley and myself.

So, tell me about this voice you heard.

It was a very high one, a boy.

Uh, little one, singing his heart out.

It was beautiful.

Like that choir. The...

- The Vienna Boys’ Choir. - Exactly!

Yeah, we can check, but most of them

probably have an airtight alibi.

Being in, you know...

Vienna.

Where is this Luke Roman person?

His name is on the sign! Why isn’t he getting involved

with this? Where the hell is he?

Bless me, Father, for I have whiffed.

Gimme three Hail Mary’s and close your stance.

So, I’m here for my biweekly wellness check.

Stopped going to Funland?

Eh. Stopped being fun.

Now it’s just land.

Anything new on the adoption front?

They say it’s only a matter of time

and finding the right situation.

It’ll work out.

So, how’re you keeping busy these days?

Watch a lot of TV.

You know, Jeopardy is a lot more challenging

without the voices whispering the answers in my ear.

I think I found your mom.

Got some hits on the name.

Kinda tracked her through a couple of towns over the years.

Yay, internet!

Where is she?

Not far.

I want to check out some things, you know, just to make sure.

Well, keep me posted, okay?

Everything good at the office?

Yeah. Uh...

Susan’s killing it.

Felt kinda bad about the Travis house fallout.

She didn’t even work for us then.

Did you not see her interview on Channel Seven?

No. You know, I’ve been kind of...

A reminder that the wonders of modern life come with danger

And that’s why the Roman Agency

is sponsoring the Home Safe Home initiative,

subsidizing furnace inspections to low-income housing.

Because home is the one place

where you should always feel safe.

- Wow. - Yeah, it was a great idea.

Totally saved our bacon.

That’s great.

Did you hear we sold the Donovan house?

- It’s a great property. - Once you get past the portal

- and the hellhound and... - Sister Act?

Yeah.

So, you coming back or what?

Thinking Monday. My dad’s birthday and I know

he’d tell me to get my lazy butt back to work.

Besides...

Runnin’ outta quarters.

Hail Mary, full of grace.

Do you see the finger?

- No. - Are you sure?

I work in real estate.

I’m perfectly aware of what a middle finger looks like.

♪ ...a little pony ♪

♪ His name was Happy Dan ♪

♪ But if he enters the woods at night ♪

♪ He won’t be happy again ♪

♪ ’Cause bad things live in the forest ♪

♪ They wait for ponies at night ♪

♪ If Happy Dan runs too slowly ♪

♪ They’ll gather around and bite ♪

♪ They’ll nip his ears off They’ll eat his eyes ♪

♪ They’ll break his legs if they can ♪

♪ Goodbye to Happy Dan ♪

- Luke! Oh! - William!

How’s our favorite repeat client?

Oh, I am well! I am wonderful.

Now, where is Sylvia?

Susan? She is really busy,

but I thought I’d drop off this housewarming gift.

- Oh, very kind. - I take it

- you’re starting something new? - Oh, yes.

You know how I like to start every new novel

in a new and fresh place. I mean,

if you cannot frighten your own willy off you

from time to time to prove to yourself

that you’re still fogging up the mirror, eh?

Well, this place’ll do it.

Yes. In fact...

I was just getting the spare keys

and a few tips from the former owner.

Hello, Luke.

Megan. Hi.

Well, I think perhaps, uh,

I’m just going to go indoors and, uh...

get better acquainted. Yes.

Huh.

Hey.

Uh, congratulations on the sale.

- Yeah. - And the residency.

It’s really exciting.

Kinda scary.

Well, you don’t scare that easy.

So, when do you leave?

Day after tomorrow.

I was gonna call you.

It’s okay.

You got a lot going on.

Hm.

How are you getting by without the, um...?

I’m good.

Some days are better than others.

But I’m good.

You know, it feels really ironic.

The things you do... Did.

The things you saw and talked to.

Those were the things that I struggled with.

And, now, they’re um... They’re kinda gone.

And you’re leaving, too.

Thank you for making my world so much bigger.

It’s that bank repo. They call it the Ensom House.

I finally got up here to check it out.

Look, I’ll call you back.

Whammo.

I believe the right house is like a soulmate.

You can look at a thousand other houses,

but when the right one comes along,

you know.

And it’s magic.

Wowza.

I’m sorry. I do not understand your request.

Oh, sure. There’s a smart-house function.

What can I do for you?

Just looking.

Please let me know if you have any questions, Susan.

How’d you...

Did the bank add me to the database?

Yes. Please let me know if you have any questions.

Sorry I’m late. Everything okay?

Uh, the Cantervilles are freaking out.

Okay. In moments like these

I think it’s important we follow a process.

Luke always counted on intuition and magic

those days are over.

- Susan, sh. - No, no.

I think we need to face the truth here.

Luke has lost his special sauce. He’s just a regular guy now...

On a good day.

Luke!

So, it’s a step-by-step process I call ECHIDNA:

Engage, Coordinate, Handhold, Investigate, De-terminate,

- Neutralize, Assess. - De-terminate?

A lot of our clients don’t really understand what we do.

So, when we get fired... terminated...

Which we always do.

We need to be rehired. De-terminated.

But why ECHIDNA?

Echidna is an egg-laying mammal indigenous to Australia.

- Oh, well, there you go. - It’s a mnemonic.

To help you remember the key steps of the process.

Well, Heaven forbid you forget your ECHIDNA.

Great. Good. Thanks so much.

Can you catch me up on what’s happening

- with the Kingston place? - Oh, boy.

The DeVores want a contingency deal, right?

But Jack Kingston’s not having it.

He says, "Buy it or don’t. I don’t care."

Return to the sweet embrace of the grave.

We’ve tried any number of devices to

facilitate communication beyond the veil.

There’s something about toys that works particularly well.

Possibly their simplicity and... playful appearance

create a rapport with those on the other side.

Luke, do you think this...

your current status, do you think it’s...

permanent?

You mean do you think I’m going to remain a normal person?

Well, gee, I hope so.

Yeah? What?

Your office.

Why were you so nasty to Susan?

I wasn’t nasty.

You were a condescending, dismissive jerk.

Look, we have a lot of work to do.

Susan is great. You know that I think she is great,

but she does tend to get bogged down in the process.

And we just don’t have the time.

Well, Susan made the time to keep this agency running

while you were off having your two-month

case of the Mondays!

- Where is she? - I have no idea.

Where does she go when she feels sad, unappreciated and

justifiably pissed off?

Who’s there?

Um... house?

House control voice thingy?

Creepy man-projecting internet connected simulated person unit?

Hello, Susan.

Did you just play that music a minute ago?

Did you not like it?

I...

Yes, it was fine. It just startled me.

I’m sorry.

My device at home waits until I ask it to play music.

Yes, the older models do that.

I gotta go.

Come back... soon.

I was... I am really grateful

for the way you stepped up and ran things while I was away.

I don’t know if I expressed that really well in there

and I’m really sorry if I sounded like anything

other than really grateful. Really.

You know you say "really" a lot during difficult conversations?

No shit?

- Sorry to interrupt. - Whattaya got?

A few things dribbling in on the Canterville house.

1938, a ten-year-old boy named Samuel MacAdams

died of scarlet fever in the house.

Child’s voice.

It all adds up.

What all adds up? It’s one clue.

I’ll take it from here.

Yeah, um... I’ll let you know when the...

rest of the records come in.

So, you’re really just going to do this yourself?

Screw the process.

Susan, you took what we do and you color-coded it.

There’s nothing magical about your process.

It’s my process with a cute name but without the intuition.

Susan.

What are you going to do? Rat me out to Zooey again?

You go ahead. I’ll be right up.

I’m telling you, Mom, I was killing it.

Clients loved me.

Competitors respected me.

Bob Livingston feared me.

Monsters are always afraid of fire.

- And I like Luke! - Mm.

I like the old Luke. The new Luke seems...

Defensive. Territorial.

Just insecure.

You never really know what people are going through.

Now, that being said,

I never believed you’d be truly happy

unless you work someplace with your name on the door.

Am I that arrogant?

Oh, that good.

Do you remember that house we had

on the shore that one summer?

The one with the amazing ocean view?

Oh, you really loved that house.

Oh, it was bright and cheerful

and I would just lie there and daydream.

That was the one summer daddy wasn’t away at work.

Mm.

I would just lie in the sunshine...

and listen to him play piano.

That was a good summer.

Anyway, I...

I found a beautiful house

that brings it all back.

I didn’t know you were thinking of moving.

Neither did I.

Hm.

Heading for the Canterville place?

- So, how’s this work? - You speak slowly and clearly

and pull the string.

The words that come out are those of...

whatever is there.

You are... certain you’re up for this?

It’s a kid, August.

A kid lost in a house. If I can’t handle this,

I might as well hang it up.

Ah! Luke.

Huh.

We were beginning to wonder if you were real.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

You going somewhere?

We can’t stay here another night.

I think I have a solution.

Randall,

get in the car.

We are going to stay with my sister

and that stops being fun...

really fast.

Get rid of this thing,

or pull up your sign and get out.

♪ -[Boy] There was a little pony ♪

♪ His name was Happy Dan ♪

♪ He loved to run in the sunshine ♪

♪ Just frolicking in the sand ♪

♪ He’d kick his heels up with frisky fun ♪

♪ He’d toss his tail and his mane ♪

♪ But if he enters the woods at night ♪

♪ Dan won’t be happy... ♪

Oh, shit.

♪ -For bad things live in the forest ♪

♪ They wait for ponies at night ♪

♪ If Happy Dan runs too slowly ♪

♪ They’ll gather round and bite ♪

♪ They’ll nip his ears off ♪

Samuel?

I don’t know if you can hear me,

but I’m here to help.

♪ -Goodbye to Happy Dan ♪

♪ Goodbye to Happy Dan ♪

Let me guess.

Not Samuel.

If it’s not the little boy, who is it?

His name was Edgar Cornell.

He was a serial killer. He murdered six people

that we know of.

He removed various body parts and dropped them in mailboxes.

This was in, like, ’78, ’79.

He was convicted and executed in 1985

but in between, in the early ’80s,

- he lived in this house. - Oh, my God.

Yeah, Luke could not have gotten this more wrong.

He has no idea what he’s walking into.

But what about the voice, the-the singing?

The thing was, he had this freaky high voice.

He lured his victims by impersonating a child

in trouble.

Like a lot of serial killers, Cornell liked trophies. A...

hair ribbon here, jewelry there.

A body part that he would cut off or bite off.

Trophies! That’s gotta be it.

He came back for the trophies!

But why now? He’s been dead since ’85!

Look, we’re right outside.

How long until you guys get here?

We’re, like, a minute away.

Hurry! Luke’s in there with no powers, no clue...

and that... thing!

I came back to get my goodies.

- Stay back! - Luke, he’s a serial killer.

He collected trophies from his victims.

They must have been hidden in the wall!

The kitchen remodel brought him back from wherever

to find them!

It’s somewhere in the wall! Find it!

Go, quickly!

The hole needs to be bigger.

- Zooey, watch out. - What?

- Watch out. - Okay.

Waahh!

♪ -He was a little boy ♪

His name was Happy Dan.

Luke, look out!

- What am I looking for? - A bag, or a box.

Jewellery; a hair ribbon.

Body parts.

Oh, my God.

Hey! Handsome!

Give me a call when your voice changes.

Susan! Here!

You guys are all so tough

until somebody torches your goodies.

Thanks, Deb.

As soon as the kitchen is done, we hit the market.

Yeah, I spoke with the contractor. Yeah.

Yeah, I sort of lit a fire under his ass.

Two weeks. Great.

’Kay, bye.

The Cantervilles?

We’re back on.

So we are de-terminated.

Great job on this, Susan.

- Thanks. - No, I mean...

I screwed up and you pulled it out.

You really should take some time.

Time?

You could be kicking ass and closing escrow

almost single-handedly.

Take a few days off! I got this covered.

Um...

Yeah. Maybe. Thanks.

Hey, Bob.

Ah, yeah. Back at the helm, steering the ship.

Listen, about this, uh, Frederico listing,

what’s his bottom line price?

Julie, it’s Susan.

Hey, so I checked out that bank repo like you asked.

Yeah.

No, it’s okay. It’s just, um...

It’s just not for you.

Yeah.

N-no, yeah, of course, we’ll keep on looking.

Okay. Goodbye.

Feels weird coming here to feel close to you.

Lacks the atmosphere of Funland.

And the hot dogs aren’t nearly as good.

Sorry I haven’t been by in a while.

But I’m, uh, back at work

and, Dad, I’m just tearing it up.

Alienated Susan,

best real estate agent to ever live.

Faced down a serial killer

armed with nothing but a stuffed animal

and an epic misunderstanding of the situation.

Oh, and you’ll like this...

Phil thinks he found mom.

Yeah.

"For reals" this time.

For as long as I can remember I wanted to ask her...

Why?

Why’d she leave?

What did we do?

What did I do?

I really wish that we could talk about these things.

Hm.

Maybe someday.

Maybe not.

Here, Dad.

Nice catch.