Original subtitles

A VIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Did you fall asleep yet?

I need to be focused to talk to the pendulum.

Talk?

This pendulum has been in my family

for six generations.

It contains the spirit of an ancient witch.

It is my family's legacy.

Isn't it one of those things they sell in Coyoac�n,

at the Sunday market?

- No! - I saw one there.

No, it's not the same.

Brigida.

Oracle of times and the ages,

please be my guide to the truth.

I'm asking you.

Is this Lalo?

YES

Yeah, you see?

I told you I was me.

Oh, right, I thought you didn't believe in this?

Well, I didn't know that Frigida was on my side.

Brigida.

Brigida.

Did Lalo turn into a woman because of a disease?

NO

No.

My turn. My turn.

Frigida, am I going to go crazy now that I'm a woman?

Will I get my period?

Will I go crazy over everything like all women?

What?

It doesn't answer stupid questions.

Asking about my future isn't stupid.

Stop, Lala,

this isn't a game.

Have I never told you Brigida's story or what?

Of course not, how could I know the story of Frigida?

I'm sure it's stupid.

The inquisition accused her of witchcraft.

But she escaped using magic and left

an evil woman in her place.

While they were burning her

at the stake of the bonfire, she yelled,

"I'm not me. I'm not me."

Just like you.

And...

did they burn the substitute?

She burns at the stake of eternity.

Brigida.

Can Lalo's condition be...

treated scientifically?

NO

Can he be cured by going to therapy?

You should go anyway, bro.

NO

Is it revenge?

Yes.

Shit, Lala!

Come on, Alexa, you're moving it from there.

- I'm not moving it. - Of course you are.

- You're screwing with me. - I'm not doing anything.

- You love screwing me up. - I can't move it!

Then what the hell!

Shit! Fucking revenge?

Who or what?

Why? I'm a being of light, I'm a being of peace.

I'm awesome, I'm good company.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

Well, maybe not all light.

I have my dark side like everyone else.

But, I mean, living means breaking some hearts

every once in a while.

What is this a binding spell?

Brigida. Is this...

But you know what? Binding is to keep you close.

I feel like someone sent you to hell.

So what the hell is this?

Don't alter my pendulum.

What the fuck is this?

Brigida, is this a spell?

Yes.

How do I get rid of it?

- Ask her how I get rid of it. - I will.

I'm getting to it.

Brigida.

Can the spell be broken?

Never.

It will never be broken.

- Fuck him. - Hey.

This feels good.

Enjoying the pleasure of something impossible

in this country: justice.

- He's a jerk. - This feels great.

- For being a jerk, an ass. - A chauvinist.

Do you know what this is, Romina?

Do you know what it is?

- Is it mezcal? - No, no.

This celebration, this happiness, this joy.

Do you know what it is?

It's a holy party.

No, no.

It's revenge.

And revenge is ecstasy.

Do you feel it?

Oh yes, let the wretch suffer.

Suffer what I suffered.

But this isn't the best part.

No...

Do you know the source of the pain?

Menstrual colic.

Coitus interruptus.

No.

- Love. - No.

I'm sure coitus interruptus hurts more.

No, love is women's curse.

We let ourselves be mistreated for love,

knocked down, beat up...

That's why we have to be...

What do they call it?

Bitches.

Right, but...

But it's not just about trying to love yourself.

But learning to love the cosmos, nature, wisdom.

Not just a skeleton with a dick.

There are fat ones too.

Look, it's about you living.

But living intensely.

It's like...

it's like grabbing a star.

You turn me on so much

when you get philosophical.

You too, with that shirt I love.

Shorty, you dressed for me...

Oh, my hair.

My hair, my hair.

You're so tasty.

So, to love or not to love.

That is the question.

That so 19th century.

It's about accepting or not accepting

that you are not the navel of the world.

Nothing revolves around you.

Do you understand?

I don't think she understands.

Allow me. Daddy, come here.

While you think, honey.

Come here, my love.

Oh, you're so tasty.

And who is she?

I don't know.

How can you not know?

I don't know, I don't remember.

Being the man everyone wants has its disadvantages,

and one of them is that you can't remember them all.

You're making me not want to help you, remember.

Gentlemen don't kiss and tell.

Exactly.

You're pretty skanky, so stop the bullshit.

What woman could you have done so much harm to?

- So much? - So much.

It could be anyone.

Lalo, you deserve everything that's happening to you.

I don't know why we're friends, you suck, dude.

Viridiana.

- Your ex-wife. - Yes.

- Why? - Well, when we broke up,

and I left her, she said,

"You'll pay for everything you did to me, motherfucker!

And she sounded hateful.

I saw it in her heart, her face, her voice.

Yeah, but Viridiana was years ago,

Because I cheated on her Why wwith her best friend, now?

and she took it very personally.

This is more a reward than what you deserved.

Hey, what was I supposed to do?

Her best friend offered me,

I couldn't say no, thank you, she was cute.

Your dick falling off is the least you deserve.

Viridiana is your daughter's mother.

Shit, my daughter!

- What? - My daughter, Sol.

She can't see me like this, what do I do?

We have to do something, Alexa.

Look, but if Viridiana...

did this to you, then Sol already knows.

Or maybe it was both.

I mean, like you say, it could be anyone.

I mean, you chicks take

everything so personal, dude.

Everything to heart.

You're very resentful.

We just want sex, and you're already in love.

"You're the love of my life. I love you."

"When can I see you? Send me flowers." No.

With us, it's just...

- Can you suck it, please? - Hey.

- Romina! - I'm so close to...

No! Romina, yeah, she's the last woman I saw.

Show me her photo, let's see.

- You have a ton. - Open the photos, go up.

Down.

It was that chick, I'm sure of it,

I bet my dick.

- If you can find it. - Come on.

- Pendulum, pendulum... - No, I'll ask my pendulum.

It needs my energy.

No, don't get it dirty. Stop it, stop it.

Leave it there, don't touch it.

Pendulum, pendulum.

Was it Romina?

YES

- Yes. - Shit, I knew it.

You know, when I saw her I thought,

"This chick looks resentful.

I knew it, I didn't follow my intuition.

Well, that's that.

Now I have to look for her,

and have her tell me how to break the spell.

And how are you going to do that?

Well, I may not have a dick,

but I have my most important organ.

No, you're too much, Lalo.

Why would I want to know about your sick shit?

Show some respect.

- No... - Shit, shit.

No, I mean, I'm good with words.

Well, I'm not that bad, am I?

Welcome to your moment of tranquility.

Let's take five minutes to breathe.

Remember, at all times

imagine you're in your happy place.

Inhale with me.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

You have nothing to worry about here.

This is relaxing.

Can't you help me out?

She...

Will never leave you.

Because next time we have a meeting

here with you, with us...

you come dressed in a more conventional way.

Understood?

And when they tied her to the stake of the bonfire screamed,

"I'm not me, I'm not me."

Just like you.

- No way. - What?

I tried to comb my hair like my mom and...

I don't know what happened.

- I... - What? No!

Put on your towel...

- You got some nice boobs... - Thanks.

Here, put this here.

What?

Well, I tried to brush it like this...

sexy.

- Let me. - I wanted to show off...

- the curls... - Show off?

My goodness.

Hey, wait.

What should I do, Lalo?

I don't understand how... No no, don't pull it!

No, wait!

Being a chick is horrible.

Just relax.

But yeah, if you think about it,

the role of women has always been punished

by the patriarchy.

Yes, that's right.

What?

What do you mean "what"?

I don't have any clothes.

I just have boxers, suits, and...

- men's things. - Let's see.

Here, these don't fit me anymore.

What?

- What? - They'll squeeze my balls.

What balls?

Oh, right.

It feels weird to have a female roomie.

I mean, I like my friend Lola,

but I kind of miss my friend Lalo.

I just feel like I don't know you.

So far you are the person who knows me best.

Yeah.

Lend me some clothes.

A blouse, a dress, something.

OK.

Here.

- What? - Really?

Yes.

From the flea market?

So what?

Are you really going to lend me

clothes from the flea market?

- Yes. - Second-handed?

- We have to recycle clothes. - No, not this,

this isn't fit for a woman.

This is like for trolls from the mountains.

Wow, I mean...

You're too much.

I won't lend you anything else, if you want it, use it.

I feel lonely.

- Like... - It's hot.

- Thanks, does it have sugar? - Yeah.

Lost.

In the middle of nowhere, like...

I don't know, like I'm not me.

I miss having a lump here, it's all flat.

Like a dandelion.

You know the dandelions that are like...

Everywhere, like mountain goats.

Are you going to cry?

- Are you going to cry? - No.

Lalo, you never cry.

No.

- Only chicks cry. - Hey.

Stop calling women chicks, OK?

And don't tell me you're crying now

because you're more sensitive.

- No. - OK.

Well, yeah, kind of.

I'm sensitive.

I feel...

bad, at work...

Did you get fired?

Almost.

Look.

Eduardo, what the hell is wrong with you?

That was enough, wasn't it?

You're blowing it, man.

You can mess up anything,

but leaving customers hanging...

That's crossing the line.

You're not the only writer with talent out there.

This is a job, man.

Or what? Is that enough? Should we part ways?

All right. Sure.

But at least show your face.

- Relax. - Oh, it's just...

fucking Romina, she ruined my life, dude.

She really ruined my life, she went too far.

- What? Are you leaving? - Yes.

Hey, it's OK to cry.

No, I haven't cried since...

Do you remember when my grandma...

was dying and they gave her the Holy Oils?

Yes.

Before she died, she called me ungrateful,

looking straight into my eyes, that affected me a lot

and I felt really bad for years,

I got depressed and everything.

But this is different.

The feeling I feel, it's like I'm not here,

like I'm in another dimension.

Like I'm gonna lose the most important thing I have.

Two things: my work

and all my chicks.

- Chicks. I was about to... - You know what?

I'm glad you have your priorities in order.

- Good luck. - Where are you going?

- To work. - Don't leave me.

Look, Lalo.

Not everyone revolves around you.

Wake up already.

Look at yourself.

And you know what?

Ask yourself how you got here.

For playing with women, you lost your dick.

And all you care about is getting it back.

Yeah.

I'm nothing without my dick.

And without my balls.

Wait, don't leave me, Alexa.

- What? - Don't you see a sign up here

on my forehead that reads " help "?

What can I do?

Yeah!

Help me!

I look terrible!

Bro, I'm a chick...

- Woman, girl, sorry. - Woman.

And I'm not even me,

I'm not even pretty, sexy,

I don't dress well, I dress like shit,

in your fucking Coyoac�n clothes.

Don't criticize my clothes, asshole.

- Secondhand shopping, dude. - Whatever.

It shows.

Please help me, I want to look good.

- Help me be Lalo. - I already lent you some shoes.

- What do you want? - I still looked like ass.

Help me be Lola!

Look.

Request an Uber for me.

I have fifteen minutes.

Let's go.

Don't criticize my clothes, man.

- Well, it's second-hand. - So what?

Vicky!

Yes, boss.

Have you talked to Lalo yet?

No, no, not yet.

What about his cousin?

- My cousin? - Lalo's cousin.

- Lola, who came in yesterday. - No, no, I haven't.

Do you want me to call her?

- Move it! - Yes.

Did she leave a number?

- Fucking hell, seriously? - Yes.

No, no, what a family.

I don't know, call Lalo, because he doesn't answer me.

OK...

Hey, move your hair.

No...

Don't turn to look, you'll poke your eye.

You're gonna paint my retina.

That's awful, you could go blind.

- You don't know that. - It's bad.

You have to turn like you were looking at a ravine.

- Pick up, pick up. - Me?

Yeah.

I'm not posing as your secretary.

Answer.

Hello?

This is Vicky.

I'm here with Mr. Aguirre.

We need to talk to Lalo.

We have a client on top of us.

Is your cousin around to talk right now?

- Keep going. - Hello?

Hello? Vicky?

How are you? Hey, remember the...

I told you about the boil that Lalo has?

Well, he did some studies,

he got the results,

and it turns out that he has...

Malignant anthrax?

- Put on speaker phone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And is that contagious?

Well, he says it is,

but I don't know, I wouldn't know

if it's contagious or not.

What I can tell you is that he's isolated,

like a pandemic, in a bubble.

But how did it happen?

Is it a venereal disease?

Coming from Lalo, that's the best guess.

No, no, no, of course not.

Lalo uses a condom.

OK. Tell your cousin

to put hot water bags on it.

The steam will help speed along the boils,

so they can drain.

Vicky.

For God's sake.

Why do you know about that?

Well, boss.

That's what happens with STDs.

So I hear.

Lalo is already in treatment,

and he asked me to take his place in the office.

- You, Lola? Again? - Yes.

Yes, Mr. Aguirre, but don't worry.

Look, Lola.

Do me a favor, tell your cousin

to go to the doctor, to get a check-up

and bring us a certificate stating it isn't contagious.

Because if it is, we have to prevent here in the office.

Otherwise, we'll have a whole mess

and no one wants that.

And most importantly,

our client is on top of us, like Vicky said.

We need to get the gay soccer player series out.

Understood?

Got it.

- You hang up! - Yes.

- Vicky. - Yes, boss?

Bring me something preventative.

Please, for the boil that has to be drained.

But like what?

Well, I don't know.

You're the one who knows.

Yes.

Malignant anthrax.

- What? Pretty smart, right? - No, Google saved you.

You might be joking...

- Let me see. - But look...

Anthrax is a very contagious bacterial disease.

I mean, this is good for your alibi, but...

You know you have to gather a bunch of things

to keep up your lie, right?

What?

Medical certificates, prescriptions.

And if you don't hurry, my dear Lola,

you'll be...

out of a job.

Boss, do you have a minute?

A six-letter word with "H" meaning

to besiege a woman with insistence.

Let's see, think.

Boss, sorry, Vicky told me you had a talk

with Lalo's cousin and...

that anthrax thing is bad, right?

Yeah, guess what? In the morning,

I touched myself and I felt a pimple, look.

- There, right next to it. - That's terrible.

Well, and we were also thinking that...

Lalo won't be back for quite a while.

So, Gast�n and I, are willing

to take the reins of the project.

It's not like we're going to wait for Lalo

and that pimple to explode on his ass.

- What can we do? - Look, if you're worried about

taking the legal route,

everything that Lalo proposes in this office

is property of Pandora's Box.

So, there's no problem there.

With respect to the author,

we have Lalo's cousin, don't we?

She can tell Lalo about everything

we do with the project,

and if he doesn't like

what we're doing with his idea, well...

he should have thought of that before not using a condom.

You're right about the condom.

And Lalo's cousin.

Well, this has to go ahead.

Move!

Look, porphyria is a disease

that makes people more sensitive to light.

Especially the blue light of electronic devices.

Now, if we say the anthrax

produces porphyria,

we can explain why you can't go on

a video call with the office.

And does malignant anthrax produce porphyria?

I don't know, dude, you made it up.

- Oh, right, it does. - It does?

So, step one.

Falsifying your prescriptions.

Step two.

We have to falsify Lalo's voice,

so I can call in to the office and they'll believe me.

So, we have to go to your cabin

and falsify his voice.

Right.

And step three.

Buy me shoes that fit and...

sexier clothes.

- Right? - Yeah.

For now, try to live your life normally.

OK?

What's wrong?

- Are you going to cry again? - No.

Well, I kind of want to.

I'm like a chick.

No, not a chick.

Slap.

Girl, woman, lady, miss, right?

- Hello. Carlos? - Good morning.

Yes, yes.

Come in.

You're weird, dude.

Put your seat belt on.

Put your seat belt on.

Hell yeah, man!

Voil�.

- Thanks. - Want a cookie?

Yes.

Thank you.

There you are, bitch.

So relaxed.

Are you going to exercise?

Sorry, do I know you?

Really?

Tell me right now how to break this curse!

Lalo?

Romina?

Oh, shit!

What are you doing? Come here!

Wait!

LA LOLA

You don't understand.

I'm going to stop paying Lupita,

so you can do the cleaning.

Honey, no.

No, I don't want to.

Look, I have a career,

I have goals, I have dreams.

I like to work.

Come on, what century do you live in?

But you don't need to work.

That's why I work.

Plus, I earn more than you

and I don't like you being in the street.

Who will take care of the baby?

What do you mean, what baby? The one we're gonna have.

Soon. Jos� Luis, my mini me.

What do you expect?

That the nanny raises him?

Obviously you're his mom,

you're my wife, you have to be here.

Seriously?

Obviously, yes.

Is that why you wanted me to marry you?

To keep me locked up all day?

Well, you didn't expect everything to be trips

and shopping, obviously.

- What are you laughing at? - I'm not laughing.

I'm looking at you, you're clearly laughing.

What...

You're out of your mind.

Can't you see?

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