Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,541 --> 00:00:21,500
You engaged in copulatory shenanigans
with Godcat?
2
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,958
- Gross.
- You know how weddings are.
3
00:00:24,041 --> 00:00:26,375
We had some drinks.
We slow-danced to Snow Patrol.
4
00:00:26,458 --> 00:00:29,250
Their soft yet rocking jams
can turn on anyone's faucet.
5
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,416
- What are you gonna do?
- I don't know.
6
00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:33,250
- Are you telling Godcat?
- I don't know!
7
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:37,166
The final challenge begins
in five minutes.
8
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:41,083
Also, if you're the owner of
a white unicorn with the rainbow buttocks,
9
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,791
- your unicorn is being towed.
- Oh.
10
00:00:44,916 --> 00:00:47,625
Okay, listen to me.
Everything you said was true.
11
00:00:47,708 --> 00:00:51,625
You are the best one for this job.
You were born to do this.
12
00:00:51,708 --> 00:00:53,750
Okay. Yeah, you're right.
13
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:56,166
I can be supreme leader
of Heaven and Hell.
14
00:00:56,250 --> 00:01:01,041
I interned at Disney,
for God's sake. I can do this.
15
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:03,166
Oops. Sorry. Hormones.
16
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:05,875
Come on. How is that not a penalty?
17
00:01:05,958 --> 00:01:10,416
Okay. Well, she looks pretty psyched up,
so we have to be too. Let's go.
18
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,041
I'm out, okay?
19
00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:16,083
I lost my best friend
slash gaming buddy slash business partner.
20
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,791
You see, we invented
these high-heeled shoes for teenage boys.
21
00:01:20,875 --> 00:01:23,583
Now Bro-lettos will never hit the market.
22
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,958
Oh, come on. I can motivate you.
23
00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:28,750
Um... You have an incredible physique,
24
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:31,458
like a sweaty ottoman
with hot dogs for arms.
25
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:33,708
See? Okay, let's go!
26
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,250
Herb, tell me what is going on.
27
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,458
Well, I've been doing this thing
called embezzling.
28
00:01:43,541 --> 00:01:47,166
It's like bamboozling,
but, uh, with mathematics.
29
00:01:47,250 --> 00:01:49,416
Anyhow, turns out I'm bad at it.
30
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:54,375
So when the ax was about to fall,
I decided to fake my own death,
31
00:01:54,458 --> 00:02:00,208
and who better to leave holding the bag
than that speed bump with eyelids,
32
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,250
Marv Higgins.
33
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,416
But you can't betray your own child.
34
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,833
Even if they aren't exactly
what you thought they'd be,
35
00:02:06,916 --> 00:02:09,583
you... you love them no matter what.
36
00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:11,208
Got to be honest, Abbie,
37
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:14,083
feels like maybe
you're projecting just a wee bit there.
38
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:16,750
Ooh. Wait. Aw, dang it.
39
00:02:16,833 --> 00:02:21,000
I just told you my whole evil plan.
Well, I have to kill you now.
40
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:25,208
Ugh! That is totally going to cut in
on date night with the wife.
41
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:29,208
Nancy, don't be rude.
introduce yourself to Abbie.
42
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,291
Herb, you seem unwell.
43
00:02:32,375 --> 00:02:34,250
I'm fine.
44
00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:36,791
Ever since I stopped huffing mulch fumes,
45
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:40,000
the hallucinations have slowed way down.
46
00:02:40,083 --> 00:02:42,708
Now, come on. I knew I put... Oh!
47
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,500
This chemical cheese hardens in seconds,
48
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:52,000
{\an8}so when I drop you
into the Big Bulk lagoon,
49
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:55,250
{\an8}you'll sink faster
than my balls in a hot tub.
50
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,291
Ladies and gentlemen, angels and demons,
51
00:03:01,375 --> 00:03:04,625
gold-winged celestials
and sock-stealing dryer goblins.
52
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:05,708
This is it.
53
00:03:05,791 --> 00:03:07,791
The final event of the tournament.
54
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:11,875
Who will be our new CEO?
55
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,125
For your final challenge,
56
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:21,958
to prove that mortals
can do the impossible
57
00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,166
when guided by the hand of God,
58
00:03:24,250 --> 00:03:26,666
you must make your counterpart...
59
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,166
Go against human nature!
60
00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:34,291
Oh no. I should've known.
This is a fan favorite.
61
00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:37,125
The board figures out the hardest thing
for the human counterpart,
62
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,541
then the god has to make them go
against human nature to do it. But it's...
63
00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:44,583
Are you okay? Should we get a doctor?
64
00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:45,666
I don't want your help.
65
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,541
You're the one that got me into this mess.
66
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:49,666
You and those butt clowns
from Snow Patrol.
67
00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:51,583
Fucking soft rock.
68
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,000
- Fucking motherfuckers.
- What an odd thing to say.
69
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,083
Eh, not really.
70
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,625
Have you listened to their new album?
It's rap metal.
71
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,041
Herb, you don't want to do this!
72
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:03,250
Abbie, I'm sorry, but...
73
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,583
Marv...
74
00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:13,250
...how did you find me?
75
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:16,541
It all started 20 minutes ago.
76
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,333
Hmm.
77
00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:24,750
That's the whole story?
78
00:04:24,833 --> 00:04:28,833
{\an8}You walked into the garden department
because you saw my melted ice cream?
79
00:04:28,916 --> 00:04:32,250
{\an8}Well, I also drank it,
but that's neither here nor there.
80
00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,583
{\an8}Marv, son,
81
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,708
I'm so glad to see you.
82
00:04:36,791 --> 00:04:41,250
Dad! Thank goodness you're alive.
When you blew up, I was so sad.
83
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:45,833
He didn't blow up. He faked his death
so he could leave you holding the bag.
84
00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:49,041
{\an8}Son, your wife has clearly gone crazy.
85
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:52,583
{\an8}You see how she tied herself up?
She got cheese for feet.
86
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:54,250
{\an8}Oh, I've seen this before.
87
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:58,083
{\an8}Sad, very sad.
Well, I actually have to get going. So...
88
00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:02,250
{\an8}- Dad, wait! The feds came by and...
- Oh, right, that little legal stuff.
89
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,375
Marv, here's what you're gonna do.
90
00:05:04,458 --> 00:05:10,208
You're gonna take responsibility
for all of it because you love me,
91
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:12,916
and I love you, son.
92
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:24,416
Marv, where did you learn
to swing on a rope like that?
93
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,458
Oh, I've been combat role playing
as Tarzan with my gaming group lately.
94
00:05:28,541 --> 00:05:33,041
Well, technically I play a mating gorilla
whom Tarzan falls in love with, but...
95
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,541
Wait, stop the car.
96
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:39,666
Wow, they're gorgeous and on sale.
97
00:05:43,916 --> 00:05:47,250
Devilcat, you and your human counterpart
are up first.
98
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:52,250
Devilcat, your partner Greta is incapable
99
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,958
of connecting with other creatures
on an emotional level.
100
00:05:55,041 --> 00:05:57,958
So, in order to make your human
go against her nature,
101
00:05:58,041 --> 00:05:59,500
you must defeat this.
102
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:08,458
Wait! How does defeating a giant
vampire anus go against Greta's nature?
103
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:09,916
Because to save it,
104
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,666
you must quench its thirst
for human suffering.
105
00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:15,916
It drinks human tears.
106
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,791
Either you make Greta cry,
or the monster eats her. Good luck.
107
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:24,375
Oh. Here, read the last page of this.
108
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:28,791
"And then they took Old Yeller out
to the lawn and tied him to a tree."
109
00:06:30,083 --> 00:06:33,666
Uh... Uh...
"For sale, baby shoes. Never worn."
110
00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:37,833
Uh, okay. There's this movie called Up,
and right in the beginning...
111
00:06:37,916 --> 00:06:40,208
- It's not working.
- Wait. Wait. I got it.
112
00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,541
Why would bagpipes make me emotional?
113
00:06:44,625 --> 00:06:48,625
It's an instrument that sounds like
it's apologizing to you for how it sounds.
114
00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:50,875
Okay, **** this.
115
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:57,583
Whoo.
116
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,958
- Yeah!
- Ooh! So tough.
117
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,666
Yes, you defeated the monster,
118
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:04,541
but you technically didn't get Greta
to go against her nature.
119
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,875
Zero points awarded.
120
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:10,250
Yes! We've got this, Travis. Ha-ha.
121
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,625
Oh, look, Nancy, we've grown apart.
122
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:22,541
I am a strong, independent man and you're...
123
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:26,250
{\an8}Well, you're just a bag of rice
that I drilled two holes into.
124
00:07:30,041 --> 00:07:32,791
If he gets to that Lambulkini,
he's gone.
125
00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:34,375
I can't let him get away.
126
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:55,958
Not so fast, Herb.
127
00:07:57,375 --> 00:08:02,083
Marv, sometimes when a father
and a son love each other very, very much,
128
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:03,541
but can't make it work,
129
00:08:03,625 --> 00:08:06,625
well, one of them murders the other
with a crossbow.
130
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:07,625
Bye, Marv.
131
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:16,583
Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna move your cart.
132
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:18,958
I'm gonna drive off in my Lambulkini,
133
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:23,750
and then you are gonna call the feds
and turn yourself in for bamboozlement.
134
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:25,791
How's that sound? Sound good?
135
00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:26,791
No.
136
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:29,000
How dare you, Marv?
137
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,666
You are supposed to respect your father!
138
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:40,041
You're not my father!
139
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:46,625
Mother...
140
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:57,291
Huh? You stood up to me
and crowned yourself with my perm?
141
00:08:57,875 --> 00:09:01,041
I'm... I'm proud of you, boy.
142
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,625
Whoa, what happened?
143
00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:07,166
I... I blacked out there for a second.
144
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:12,250
Okay, folks, this is for all the marbles.
145
00:09:12,333 --> 00:09:16,541
If Godcat fails,
Devilcat will be named the new CEO.
146
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,750
But if Godcat completes his challenge,
147
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:21,875
the games will be tied,
and we will go to sudden death.
148
00:09:21,958 --> 00:09:26,250
And if you both die, we pick fifty mortals
and we do a wet t-shirt contest.
149
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,750
- Let's go!
- Yeah!
150
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:32,375
For your final challenge,
we picked something extra difficult
151
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,666
for this screen-addicted,
Hot Pocket of a child
152
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:38,083
who needs the internet's approval
more than he needs air.
153
00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:41,708
He will have to defeat
his online troll, Aidan.
154
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:45,250
Summon the Aidan!
155
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:50,208
Nah, you guys go ahead
and pillage the nursing home without me.
156
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,541
Whoa! Am I being raptured?
157
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:56,000
Sick!
158
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:03,000
Aidan and Trashfist,
you will now engage in a horrific battle,
159
00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:06,458
made popular
by Earth's least talented joke writers,
160
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:07,833
a comedy roast.
161
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:10,291
Human Dorito, you go first.
162
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:13,958
A roast? My pleasure. Um...
163
00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:16,458
Travis is so ugly,
164
00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:20,291
if he met One Direction,
they'd go in a different direction.
165
00:10:21,583 --> 00:10:23,291
Travis is so dumb,
166
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,416
he thinks Dunkin' Donuts is
a basketball team.
167
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,583
Ooh!
168
00:10:27,666 --> 00:10:29,166
Oh yeah? Well...
169
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,208
Wait. Dunkin' Donuts?
170
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:34,000
That's not a joke.
You literally thought that.
171
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:42,000
Oh. Well, yeah, Aidan's skin is so oily,
it's being acquired by Pizza Hut.
172
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:46,916
Well, Travis sucks so much,
his wisdom teeth had him removed.
173
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,708
Seriously. His teeth are horrible.
174
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:52,541
What? No, no.
You're the one with bad teeth.
175
00:10:52,625 --> 00:10:56,166
The nurse said that your mouth looks like
someone threw a piano into an open grave.
176
00:10:56,250 --> 00:11:00,083
Wait, you're just projecting
your insecurities onto me.
177
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:01,708
Really, that's what all trolls do.
178
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:03,666
I shouldn't care
what you think of me at all.
179
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,750
Oh yeah, dork?
180
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,125
If you were an energy drink,
you'd be called "Cringe."
181
00:11:10,208 --> 00:11:13,708
See? Like that.
That didn't hurt at all.
182
00:11:13,791 --> 00:11:18,333
You can call me whatever you want.
I don't need your validation anymore.
183
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,583
Yours or anyone else's
184
00:11:20,666 --> 00:11:22,333
because I'm awesome.
185
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,333
Oh!
186
00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:26,458
You're right.
187
00:11:26,541 --> 00:11:28,291
You are awesome.
188
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,375
You're a great streamer.
189
00:11:30,458 --> 00:11:34,291
You have a clean house,
and crows don't live in your dishwasher.
190
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:38,875
Meanwhile, my stepparent sold our bathtub
to buy Hoobastank tickets.
191
00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:42,333
So yeah, I was trying
to keep you from getting too confident
192
00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:43,958
so you wouldn't ditch me.
193
00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:46,666
And I'm kind of... you know...
194
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:47,625
sorry.
195
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,083
Hey. You don't have to worry
about losing me.
196
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:51,833
You're my best friend.
197
00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:58,000
Challenge accomplished.
One point to Godcat.
198
00:11:58,083 --> 00:11:59,791
We have a tie, folks!
199
00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:07,083
Uh, Marv, wait for me?
200
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,583
Uh, no.
201
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:12,416
But how about I send you
some care packages in prison?
202
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,500
Any requests?
203
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:19,125
Maybe a heartfelt letter telling me
how much you appreciate our special bond?
204
00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:22,791
Oh! And maybe a bag of rice.
You know my type.
205
00:12:25,583 --> 00:12:28,958
Honey,
you were incredible out there.
206
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:32,583
You're like Jason Bourne,
but balding and trying to hide it.
207
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:34,500
So like Matt Damon, I guess.
208
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,083
Look, Abbie, I screwed up.
209
00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:41,083
I've been too focused
on my job and my hobbies.
210
00:12:41,166 --> 00:12:43,458
None of that is worth losing you over.
211
00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:44,458
I'm sorry.
212
00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:48,541
I'm sorry too. I should've taken
more of an interest in those things.
213
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,083
I should've taken
more of an interest in you.
214
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:54,875
Well, from now on that all changes.
215
00:12:54,958 --> 00:12:57,000
Does that mean
you'll come to my book club?
216
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,250
{\an8}We're reading He-Man fan fiction.
217
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:01,000
{\an8}Sure, if you come with me
218
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:03,916
{\an8}to that alligator combat class
I saw on Groupon.
219
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,458
{\an8}Or how about we split the difference?
220
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:09,458
{\an8}Go get drunk on Smirnoff Ice
and play Buck Hunter?
221
00:13:09,541 --> 00:13:10,375
Deal.
222
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,666
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie score,
223
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:19,208
which means we are headed to sudden death.
224
00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:22,666
Sudden death!
225
00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:37,208
Whoever gets their mortal advisor
across the finish line first
226
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:41,291
wins the CEO position
and a sponsorship with Purina Dog Food.
227
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:43,041
Easy-peasy.
228
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:46,541
Now, remember, if you get sprayed
with lava, just keep running.
229
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:50,166
Hopefully, the momentum will carry your
flaming corpse across the finish line.
230
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:53,166
Listen to me, you got this.
231
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,541
Own this course.
232
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:57,500
Own it like my stepdad owns
eight pitbulls.
233
00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:59,166
Let's go!
234
00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:07,000
Hey, if I get laser murdered,
235
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,333
I just want you to know
you've been a good sister.
236
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:10,958
And if we make it out of this alive,
237
00:14:11,041 --> 00:14:13,208
I promise to start flushing
the downstairs toilet.
238
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,708
Thanks, Trav. You've been a good brother.
239
00:14:15,791 --> 00:14:18,583
I promise to stop micro-dosing
your Froot Loops with ketamine.
240
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:20,916
- Wait, what!?
- And your time starts...
241
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,250
...now!
242
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,583
Good boy. Good boy.
243
00:14:33,666 --> 00:14:35,291
Turn. Turn.
244
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,375
Okay, run.
245
00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:39,583
Buddy, hup. There you go. Hup.
246
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:46,583
Jump. Get down. Slide.
247
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:55,000
Travis! Travis! Travis!
248
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,583
- Get up! Come on!
- Get up! Come on!
249
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:10,750
- Run!
- What are you waiting for? Go!
250
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,125
Travis wins!
251
00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:21,166
We have a winner!
252
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:25,166
Introducing your new CEO,
253
00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:29,125
Godcat!
254
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:37,166
Congrats, you are now CEO
of both Heaven and Hell.
255
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:40,916
Thank you. It feels good
to have all the power again.
256
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,625
Now, first things first,
I want to eat an entire dolphin.
257
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:47,000
Ever since becoming a cat
I've had this hankering...
258
00:15:47,083 --> 00:15:50,916
Now that you're hired,
we can begin phase two of the reorg,
259
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,708
the annihilation
of the human race.
260
00:15:54,791 --> 00:15:58,291
What? I thought the merger
was about redistributing human souls.
261
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,416
Well, once we realized humans
262
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,583
were the source
of most of the company's problems,
263
00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:05,375
we figured we'd wipe them out
and start over.
264
00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:09,250
Look, do I see the appeal
in eliminating the 7 billion dingbats
265
00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:12,291
who invented everything
from nuclear war to eating Tide Pods?
266
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:13,791
On paper, sure.
267
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,625
But my time on Earth with this family
268
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:20,375
has shown me that humans are horrible,
but they're also amazing.
269
00:16:20,958 --> 00:16:24,000
They're terrible and wonderful
and everything in between.
270
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:27,875
So I'm sorry, but as God, it's a hard no.
271
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:30,666
Very well.
272
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,458
Thank you for stepping down so honorably.
273
00:16:33,541 --> 00:16:35,833
Huh? What do you mean? I didn't. I...
274
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:40,250
Beelzebub, we would like to offer you
the CEO position.
275
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,375
That is, if you agree
to wipe out humanity.
276
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:46,125
I mean, I do want the job, but...
277
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:50,083
Wait! Wait, don't do this.
Humans may not be perfectly designed.
278
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,750
We might even be
straight-up evil at times,
279
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:55,208
but our goodness
doesn't come from being perfect.
280
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:56,291
We're a mess.
281
00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:59,041
And you know what? Messes are okay.
282
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:03,291
I'm a mess. My family is a mess,
but that's why I love them.
283
00:17:03,375 --> 00:17:05,041
That's why we love each other.
284
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,125
♪ Take it to the river ♪
285
00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:13,583
It's your decision, Beelzebub.
286
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:17,708
I'll do it.
287
00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:18,708
No!
288
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,750
Every step of the way,
you've been there haunting me.
289
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:33,125
But I am done living in your shadow.
290
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:36,750
I am darkness.
291
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,416
I cast the shadow now!
292
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:41,125
Yes, Beelzebub.
293
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:42,708
Do it. Do it.
294
00:17:42,791 --> 00:17:48,083
You're all fired!
295
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:07,833
Beelzebub, my little demon,
296
00:18:07,916 --> 00:18:10,125
I always knew you had it in you.
297
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:16,000
Wow. Where did that come from?
298
00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:20,541
I'm done doing things their way.
I'm in charge now. So...
299
00:18:22,541 --> 00:18:25,583
Hey, you're not supposed to pee
on office furniture.
300
00:18:25,666 --> 00:18:27,875
I learned that like an hour
after becoming a cat.
301
00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:30,250
I'm not peeing, you idiot!
302
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:32,000
I'm going into labor!
303
00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:34,916
Labor? You're pregnant?
When did that happen?
304
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,500
Argh! Remember my cousin's wedding?
305
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,750
Oh. Hell yeah.
306
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:44,708
Snap out of it!
We don't have time for a steamy flashback.
307
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:50,875
Whoa! Anti-Christ on a cracker.
This is really happening.
308
00:18:50,958 --> 00:18:54,333
Okay, who do I know
that knows how to deliver a cat baby?
309
00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:58,000
Wait. Abbie!
We've got to get back down to Earth.
310
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,291
Mmm... Bubedy bubedy bup!
311
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:04,041
Gah! A little help!
312
00:19:07,166 --> 00:19:09,250
Everyone, hop on. We're going home.
313
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:14,541
Whoa. Hi, kids!
314
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,958
Abbie, Marv, Devilcat's pregnant,
and I'm the father.
315
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,583
Hey, congratulations.
316
00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:25,083
Now what's with all the fire
and destruction?
317
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:27,375
Oh, is this a gender-reveal party?
318
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,625
Agh! No, dingus, I'm in labor!
319
00:19:29,708 --> 00:19:32,375
Marv, boots, bungee cords, toilet plunger.
320
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,250
You did this to me!
321
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,833
Take my paw!
322
00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:38,666
Probably a bad time to ask,
323
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:41,666
but does this technically make us
boyfriend, girlfriend, or...
324
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,208
Yeah, let's put a pin in that for now.
325
00:20:10,791 --> 00:20:15,333
Gee, I wonder if today will be the day
I get chosen to destroy a planet.
326
00:20:15,416 --> 00:20:17,875
Pfft. Wouldn't count on it, kid.
327
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,791
Here I go to kill and destroy.
328
00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:33,750
Ah, you guys... look!
329
00:20:40,375 --> 00:20:43,625
I don't understand.
I thought Devilcat stopped the apocalypse.
330
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:46,333
Someone must have survived
and hit the button.
331
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:49,875
All right. The first time I prayed to you
might've been a misunderstanding,
332
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,250
but this one is the real deal.
333
00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,416
A legit bona fide prayer.
334
00:20:55,291 --> 00:20:56,541
Dear God,
335
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:59,500
save us from that thing!
336
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:02,916
I would, but it needs
to be destroyed in orbit.
337
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,500
And last I checked,
I'm a cat, not a space dragon.
338
00:21:06,583 --> 00:21:08,541
Space dragon, you say.
339
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,041
I have an idea.
340
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:12,500
What the hell is that?
341
00:21:12,583 --> 00:21:15,375
It looks like an Apollo Lander
made by Garbage Pail Kids.
342
00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:18,416
The biggest problem is
I don't have enough propellant to launch.
343
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,625
Turns out rockets are ten stories high
for a reason.
344
00:21:20,708 --> 00:21:24,083
Godcat, can't you generate
some sort of magic God energy?
345
00:21:24,166 --> 00:21:25,833
Aren't you like a holy USB brick?
346
00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:28,000
What about the power of love?
347
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:33,250
Maybe if everyone started loving you
super hard, you'd sprout angel wings.
348
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,916
That's actually the secret
to beating the Twilight board game.
349
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,791
Those are both
the dumbest things I've ever...
350
00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:42,375
Wait. Angel wings, USB brick...
351
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:45,333
Marv, Travis, you're geniuses.
352
00:21:45,416 --> 00:21:47,250
Dear God, it's me.
353
00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:49,666
Get the cherubs down here now!
354
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:53,041
Hey, buddy. Um...
355
00:21:53,125 --> 00:21:55,833
We're super sorry about what happened.
We didn't know...
356
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,625
Shut it. There's no time for that.
357
00:21:57,708 --> 00:22:00,333
You two are made of pure divine energy,
358
00:22:00,416 --> 00:22:03,708
and for once in your stupid lives,
you're going to help me.
359
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,250
I want to say I love you,
but there's no time.
360
00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:09,916
Also, I assume I'll feel weird
about it later,
361
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,250
and it'll be awkward
when we say goodbye on the phone.
362
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:13,375
Okay, bye.
363
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,416
Mmm... Ah!
364
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,875
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
She'll be riding six white horses ♪
365
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,791
♪ She'll be riding six white horses
When she comes ♪
366
00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:35,500
♪ Yee-haw! ♪
367
00:22:45,041 --> 00:22:48,250
Armageddon, meet arm.
368
00:22:48,333 --> 00:22:50,708
Aw, look, a kitty cat.
369
00:22:50,791 --> 00:22:53,458
Hello, little kitty cat.
370
00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:57,833
I'm just so gosh darn excited
to kill your entire planet.
371
00:22:57,916 --> 00:22:58,750
Nope.
372
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:06,875
He did it!
373
00:23:06,916 --> 00:23:08,583
Godcat saved us!
374
00:23:09,875 --> 00:23:11,875
Godcat, yeah!
375
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,291
Wait, where's Godcat?
376
00:23:14,375 --> 00:23:15,375
Is he...?
377
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:18,000
He... He can't be.
378
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:34,958
I did it. I have mastered endoscopy!
379
00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:36,708
Empathy!
380
00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:39,250
Oh, whatever. You knew what I meant.
381
00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:43,166
And I did it all
because the damned family came together.
382
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,416
Godcat's right.
383
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:47,708
We finally came together as a team,
and it worked.
384
00:23:47,791 --> 00:23:49,958
You know, I always thought of you guys
385
00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:53,000
as the extras in the background
of my live streams.
386
00:23:53,083 --> 00:23:56,708
But now, I see how each of you are cool
and interesting in your own...
387
00:23:56,791 --> 00:24:00,666
Will you shut the **** up and help me?
This baby wants out!
388
00:24:04,625 --> 00:24:07,625
I think it's happening! Everyone, hold on!
389
00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:09,041
Here it comes.
390
00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:10,916
Wait. No.
391
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,625
Here they come!
392
00:24:31,541 --> 00:24:35,041
Holy mother of God!
30823
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof