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1
00:00:12,291 --> 00:00:15,666
He was a high-powered CEO
in control of everything...
2
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:17,041
It's settled.
3
00:00:17,125 --> 00:00:20,375
We give humans the physical ability
to run a marathon,
4
00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:23,875
but the punishment is
they can never stop talking about it.
5
00:00:25,708 --> 00:00:27,625
...except his own heart.
6
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:29,250
Hmm.
7
00:00:32,541 --> 00:00:34,000
How long have you been waiting?
8
00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:36,875
For you? All my life.
9
00:00:37,958 --> 00:00:39,916
They were a match
made in heaven
10
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,041
with just one small problem.
11
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,583
He was from Hell.
12
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,875
And sometimes when a woman
13
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:01,041
and a ghoulish, mega demon
love each other very much,
14
00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:02,041
they do a thing.
15
00:01:02,125 --> 00:01:05,416
Dear lord, I know what sex is.
And stop talking like a movie trailer.
16
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,375
Well, excuse me for world-building.
17
00:01:08,458 --> 00:01:12,583
Ah. Whoa.
I've always wanted a flaming sword.
18
00:01:12,666 --> 00:01:15,041
I could stab stuff but with fire.
19
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,166
Uh-uh. Focus. This is important.
20
00:01:17,791 --> 00:01:22,583
As you were born of a forbidden love
between a human and a demon,
21
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:27,291
{\an8}it was determined
that you must stay with him in Hell.
22
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:29,375
My mom is a human on Earth?
23
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:32,833
She can answer all my burning questions.
Come on, let's go find her.
24
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:35,958
Nope, put it back.
25
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:41,166
Sorry, Earth is like super big.
Do you happen to have her address?
26
00:01:49,333 --> 00:01:52,750
Why do cats
keep coming out of my toilet?
27
00:02:02,416 --> 00:02:04,333
So, Halcyon Springs.
28
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,750
{\an8}Looks like some backwater place.
29
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:09,333
{\an8}This even says
there's no internet or cell towers.
30
00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:11,833
That means there might be
a portal to Hell there.
31
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:14,083
The closer you get to Hell,
the worse the Wi-Fi.
32
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:15,875
Heaven's internet sucks too.
33
00:02:15,958 --> 00:02:19,333
A Luck Dragon keeps getting confused
and humping our cell towers.
34
00:02:19,916 --> 00:02:21,000
I have to meet my mother.
35
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:23,583
If I'm half-human,
that would explain so much,
36
00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,916
like why I'm bad at my job,
37
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,083
or why I do idiotic human-y things
like take pictures of fireworks?
38
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:33,250
Yo, 30 Seconds to Marvs,
39
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,583
wanna drive us
to a nowhere, nothing-to-do town,
40
00:02:35,666 --> 00:02:37,666
and wait for us
in the car for a few hours?
41
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:41,291
I'd love to, but Mr. Bulkington
is making me work overtime,
42
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:43,041
cleaning the display toilets.
43
00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:46,583
You'd be surprised how many people
mistake them for the real deal.
44
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,041
He's got you cleaning toilets?
45
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:52,708
No wonder Heaven hasn't sent me back.
I need to get you promoted.
46
00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:55,250
Me? Upper management?
47
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:58,958
{\an8}Jet-setting around the store
on my private forklift?
48
00:02:59,041 --> 00:03:02,833
Putting up those little cones
around vomit incidents?
49
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,583
Okay, let's do it.
50
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:08,333
Well, I guess I could take an Uber.
51
00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,958
I get a discount
since the founders are in Hell.
52
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,958
Is that a dog toy?
53
00:03:15,041 --> 00:03:18,375
I ripped all my stress balls in half,
figured I'd give this a go.
54
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,875
Greta isn't talking to me.
55
00:03:20,958 --> 00:03:24,708
I think it's because I might've
kinda maybe implied
56
00:03:24,791 --> 00:03:27,125
that I regret quitting the SEALs
to have kids.
57
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,500
Hmm.
58
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:32,041
Know what you need? A road trip.
59
00:03:32,125 --> 00:03:34,500
And I know the perfect destination.
60
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:36,208
Halcyon Springs.
61
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:40,458
My long-lost mother is there,
and it's only a six-hour drive away.
62
00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:41,541
Win-win.
63
00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:43,041
Six hours?
64
00:03:43,125 --> 00:03:45,916
In that amount of time,
I could conceive two new kids,
65
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,291
preferably ones who like me.
66
00:03:47,375 --> 00:03:49,750
Yeah, who cares
if you told your kids you hate them,
67
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:53,166
and they grow up to be junkies,
murderers, or podcasters?
68
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,458
Who cares if you all wind up in Hell?
69
00:03:58,166 --> 00:04:01,750
In two miles,
you will arrive at your destination.
70
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:05,750
What a fun, family bonding session
this trip has been, right, kids?
71
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,416
Right, kids?
72
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:10,166
Oh. You mean the trip Travis and I
never assented to,
73
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,583
so technically it could be
considered "kidnapping"?
74
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:16,083
Excuse me, young lady.
I didn't even have a mom growing up.
75
00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:21,166
You know who explained womanhood to me?
An Incubus with an eel for a mustache.
76
00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:24,541
You have arrived at your...
at your dest... dest...
77
00:04:24,625 --> 00:04:27,541
{\an8}Oh no! Please, no!
78
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:32,250
You have arrived at your destination.
79
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,708
Well, we're here.
80
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:39,166
Hey, I can't get any reception.
81
00:04:41,791 --> 00:04:44,208
Huh. That's weird. The car went dead.
82
00:04:44,291 --> 00:04:46,375
I'm gonna go look for my mom. Bye.
83
00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:50,083
This can't be happening.
I've never been without internet before.
84
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:54,000
Must you continue to torture us, Mother?
85
00:04:54,083 --> 00:04:56,375
You know, if you never wanted children
in the first place,
86
00:04:56,458 --> 00:05:00,416
you could've just sold us
at birth to the circus or Nickelodeon.
87
00:05:05,666 --> 00:05:07,000
I don't know about this.
88
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:09,000
The last guy who asked for a raise,
89
00:05:09,083 --> 00:05:12,416
Herb tarred and feathered him
using Vaseline and Cheetos.
90
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,750
Then let's warm up with a test run.
91
00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:18,017
Marv, you wanted to see me?
92
00:05:18,041 --> 00:05:24,583
Uh. Yes, I... I did want to see you
b-because you're so handsome.
93
00:05:25,666 --> 00:05:27,041
I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
94
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,750
You... You should demote me
and pay me less.
95
00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:31,958
Okay, new plan.
96
00:05:34,166 --> 00:05:37,916
{\an8}Wow, Marv.
Now, that is a honey of a toupee.
97
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,541
Got nipples and everything. What's up?
98
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:42,166
Mr. Bulkington,
99
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,916
I believe I've earned a promotion
and a raise.
100
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,708
Why in the world would I do that?
101
00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:52,041
Herb, I could list off
a bunch of reasons why,
102
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,583
but you don't have
time to sit here and listen to
103
00:05:54,666 --> 00:05:58,833
a marble-mouthed-human-thigh-pimple
like me drone on all day, do you?
104
00:05:58,916 --> 00:06:02,708
Now, Higgins,
maybe you are upper management material.
105
00:06:02,791 --> 00:06:06,916
Of course, first, you'll have to pass
the Big Bulk manager emergency test.
106
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,666
It measures one's ability
to handle disasters.
107
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:13,833
Floods, hurricanes, murder hornets,
music festivals, zoo explosions...
108
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,875
We've got it in the bag.
I invented those things.
109
00:06:21,708 --> 00:06:23,541
Greta? Travis?
110
00:06:23,625 --> 00:06:25,958
No touching the other kids here.
111
00:06:26,041 --> 00:06:28,666
There's a real unvaccinated vibe.
112
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:34,666
Sorry.
113
00:06:34,750 --> 00:06:38,666
Sitting in the dark helps my migraines.
What can I do for you?
114
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:42,875
- My car's electrical system crashed.
- Yeah, we see that a lot around here.
115
00:06:42,958 --> 00:06:46,083
I know the part you need,
but the only place to get it
116
00:06:46,166 --> 00:06:49,291
is the junkyard on the other side of town,
117
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,291
near the portal to Hell
that vampires come through.
118
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:56,166
This town has a portal to Hell
that vampires come through?
119
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,750
Do you think maybe you'd wanna have a sign
that says that when you enter town?
120
00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:01,291
We had a sign made,
121
00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:05,250
but our graphic designer
hasn't used the internet since the '90s,
122
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,416
so it was mostly just wingdings.
123
00:07:10,375 --> 00:07:12,125
Very confusing.
124
00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:14,583
My kids are out there alone!
125
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:17,041
Okay, hold your horses.
126
00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:20,500
You're gonna want
a certified vampire hunter with you.
127
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:22,916
Lucky for you, I am one.
128
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,500
I'm also a notary.
129
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:29,291
I was a Navy SEAL.
130
00:07:29,791 --> 00:07:32,791
Oh man, I'm so nervous to meet my mom.
131
00:07:32,875 --> 00:07:36,250
Fair warning, she's probably gonna be
some horrifying human slash monster.
132
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:38,791
Like a cross
between Pennywise and Roseanne Barr.
133
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,125
At least your mother doesn't regret
giving birth to you.
134
00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:43,625
Actually, in Hell the males give birth.
135
00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:46,541
You think the women scream
when they're crowning? Yesh.
136
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:50,208
Well, this is the address.
137
00:07:51,666 --> 00:07:53,375
{\an8}Oh. You've got to be kidding me.
138
00:07:55,916 --> 00:07:56,958
Hello, all.
139
00:07:57,041 --> 00:08:00,500
Um... Oh, I see a few new faces here today.
140
00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:03,041
I'm Shirley. Our pastor is running late,
141
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:05,458
so I thought I would squeeze in
a few reminders.
142
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:07,708
That's her. That's my mom!
143
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:11,875
First off, I am hosting
a charity bake sale tomorrow morning.
144
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:15,041
After that,
my entire afternoon is wide open.
145
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:18,125
So if anyone needs help moving apartments
146
00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:21,541
or just wants to ramble on
about a dream they had,
147
00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:23,375
I am here for you.
148
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:25,083
Sorry I'm late, all.
149
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:26,833
Got held up at the gym.
150
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:28,625
You know my motto,
151
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:33,500
"Never skip church,
and never skip leg day." Ha!
152
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,833
Before I begin today's sermon,
153
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,875
I'd like to remind you all
to be on the lookout.
154
00:08:40,958 --> 00:08:46,291
{\an8}This sinful man
has been mooning people all over town.
155
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:50,041
Shirley, please pass these butt pics out
to the congregation.
156
00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:52,375
Psst.
157
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:54,666
Shirley! Hey, I'm... Um...
158
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,500
your daughter, but as a cat.
159
00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:58,583
That settles it.
160
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:01,500
I'm finally gonna install
a carbon monoxide detector.
161
00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:06,041
No, I'm just stuck in this body.
I am the spawn of Satan. Here, look.
162
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:09,708
Long story short, you guys did it,
and, nine blood moons later,
163
00:09:09,791 --> 00:09:13,208
he birthed me out of his left butt cheek,
and the afterbirth crawled to Texas.
164
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:17,041
Wow. Both your backstory and Ted Cruz's.
165
00:09:17,125 --> 00:09:18,333
Fascinating.
166
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:21,041
I'm a mom of the Antichrist,
167
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:24,458
but still, I'm a mom.
168
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:28,166
Come on, just one bar, please.
169
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:31,666
- Are you okay?
- No.
170
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:34,000
I've never been anywhere
without internet before.
171
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,458
How do you people
even know what time it is?
172
00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:38,166
We like it that way.
173
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,875
This town is a safe haven
174
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:43,625
for those who have had their lives ruined
by the internet.
175
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,250
I'm Millie.
176
00:09:49,708 --> 00:09:54,041
Okay, these are easy.
Blizzard is space heaters and shovels.
177
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:57,958
Zombie apocalypse is crowbars
and imitation brain meat.
178
00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:01,041
No, wrong.
179
00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:02,291
All wrong.
180
00:10:02,375 --> 00:10:04,666
The correct answer was toilet paper.
181
00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:06,125
In any crisis,
182
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:09,666
everyone rushes the store
and buys up all of our TP.
183
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:11,000
You failed, Higgins.
184
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:13,791
Now, run up to my office
and get my firing whip.
185
00:10:15,791 --> 00:10:18,666
The town of Horkville
has run out of oat milk.
186
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:21,833
{\an8}Repeat, no oat milk in Horkville.
187
00:10:30,208 --> 00:10:33,208
I'm... I'm getting word now that there's
an entire display at Big Bulk,
188
00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:35,541
{\an8}but supplies are limited, and...
189
00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:38,333
Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, okay. Yes.
190
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:40,166
Lawlessness reigns.
191
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:45,291
So that's basically my life.
192
00:10:45,375 --> 00:10:48,166
Single, no kids, CEO of Hell.
193
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,375
I continue to get my meal delivery kits,
194
00:10:50,458 --> 00:10:52,791
even though half of them go
straight into the trash.
195
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,583
So what's your deal?
196
00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:58,333
Are you actually super evil
and faking the "sweet old lady" thing?
197
00:10:58,416 --> 00:11:01,083
Oh, heavens no!
198
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:03,125
I'm decent all the way through.
199
00:11:03,208 --> 00:11:07,166
I have a lifetime of questions for you.
So you volunteer here?
200
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,250
I actually used to lead the congregation,
201
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:14,208
but after Pastor James showed up,
he forced me out.
202
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:15,166
Excuse me?
203
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,541
He forced my mother
out of doing the thing she loved!
204
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:21,666
Well, we'll see about that.
205
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:28,208
Hey, Walt, we need a fuse for a...
206
00:11:28,291 --> 00:11:30,916
Shh. The vampires are sleeping.
207
00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:40,416
Wait, is... is that... a pug?
208
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,541
And a vampire.
209
00:11:42,625 --> 00:11:45,750
- A vampug.
- Why didn't you say that earlier?
210
00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:49,916
For the same reason
I don't mention Slenderman is a Gemini.
211
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,875
What difference does it make?
212
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,000
Bad dog.
213
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:05,291
So what brought you to this godforsaken
skid mark of a town? Huh?
214
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:08,125
I thought a road trip
with my kids would bring us together.
215
00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:11,375
Yeah. My ex and I talked
about doing the whole kids thing,
216
00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:14,375
but he was like, "When you're a mom,
you can't stay out all night
217
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,083
beheading vampires."
218
00:12:16,166 --> 00:12:18,291
Uh, "Okay, Ian."
219
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:22,125
"Newsflash, that's when vampires are out."
220
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:26,166
Truth is, that mom life seems so boring.
221
00:12:26,250 --> 00:12:28,791
Well, I wouldn't exactly say I'm bored.
222
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:32,333
Between Greta accidentally
setting the house on fire with experiments
223
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,666
and Travis intentionally
setting the house on fire for views,
224
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:36,750
things aren't dull.
225
00:12:37,333 --> 00:12:39,000
Actually, when you think about it,
226
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:43,041
being a mom is kind of the ultimate
high-risk, high-reward adventure.
227
00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:48,458
Seems like this town also attracts
conversation vampires.
228
00:12:50,708 --> 00:12:53,625
The fuse! Okay, now let's go before they...
229
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,642
When I was little,
I threw up on a roller coaster,
230
00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:04,791
and the guy behind me was Fabio.
231
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:08,208
And from then on,
I was the girl who puked on Fabio.
232
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:10,791
Wait, you're girl-who-puked-on-Fabio?
233
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,625
Yeah. They rushed him
to the hair and face hospital,
234
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:14,791
but it was too late.
235
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:17,333
Being puked on made him
three percent less handsome,
236
00:13:17,416 --> 00:13:20,333
which was enough
to bring his entire empire crashing down.
237
00:13:20,416 --> 00:13:23,875
That's when people started recognizing me
in public,
238
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:26,291
asking me to barf on them for selfies.
239
00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:29,500
- I'm the Horky Porky kid.
- I know.
240
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:37,541
Remember, you are God's children,
and he loves you,
241
00:13:37,625 --> 00:13:39,250
unless you live in a blue state,
242
00:13:39,333 --> 00:13:41,291
then you're more like a whiny nephew
243
00:13:41,375 --> 00:13:44,208
that he pretends to like
during the holidays.
244
00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:49,750
I'm just kidding. God is dead.
245
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:51,833
Go commit every sin imaginable.
246
00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:53,750
Park in handicapped spaces.
247
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,125
Microwave cauliflower at work.
248
00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:58,416
Pee in a rented wetsuit.
249
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,208
Did you just possess him?
250
00:14:04,291 --> 00:14:06,750
Yeah. We're gonna get your old job back.
251
00:14:06,833 --> 00:14:08,625
Ha! That's my girl.
252
00:14:10,875 --> 00:14:13,333
Go forth. Eat bacon.
253
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:15,375
Use plastic straws.
254
00:14:15,458 --> 00:14:18,125
Wear a fedora unironically.
255
00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:20,791
Pastor James would never say that.
256
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:23,041
He must be possessed.
257
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:26,041
Come on, y'all. Let's exorcise him.
258
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:31,041
The power of God compels you.
The power of God compels you.
259
00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:33,500
The power of God compels you.
260
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:37,291
Hey! You ever get like
an electric tingling in your butthole,
261
00:14:37,375 --> 00:14:39,625
like a call for help from deep within?
262
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:41,208
Nope.
263
00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:50,625
Holy water! It burns!
264
00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:55,791
My brothers and sisters,
you just witnessed a failed possession.
265
00:14:55,875 --> 00:15:02,000
The devil chose to attack me
because of my divine connection to God.
266
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:03,875
Praise God!
267
00:15:03,958 --> 00:15:06,083
Praise me!
268
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,041
Praise James.
269
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,958
- Praise him forever!
- Praise him!
270
00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:16,166
There. Good luck getting through that.
271
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,291
{\an8}Huh. Guess I shouldn't have
wished them luck.
272
00:15:21,375 --> 00:15:23,291
{\an8}Hey! The oat milk's gone.
273
00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:26,458
{\an8}Let's demolish this place!
274
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,625
I need my oat milk!
275
00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:31,875
Hey, oat chuggers!
276
00:15:31,958 --> 00:15:33,416
Leave him alone.
277
00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,041
Oh well. Guess it's time to die.
278
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:39,958
Come on, man.
279
00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:44,291
You're Marvelous freaking Higgins,
for Christ's sake. Take charge!
280
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,166
{\an8}People of Big Bulk.
281
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,291
{\an8}You are heard. You are understood.
282
00:15:54,375 --> 00:15:56,458
{\an8}You want oat milk.
283
00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:58,583
{\an8}We have none,
284
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,791
{\an8}but we stocked an alternative.
285
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,125
{\an8}It's called milk.
286
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:08,833
The color must be a subtle homage
to oat milk.
287
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:11,833
Oh, so they blend the cows
to make the milk.
288
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:14,750
Shouldn't it technically
be called "milk milk"?
289
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,583
Wait.
Milk doesn't have lactose in it, does it?
290
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:24,041
We have toilet paper.
The answer truly is toilet paper.
291
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:31,375
I'm so sorry.
I just made things worse for you.
292
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,833
I don't belong up here.
I don't belong in Hell.
293
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:38,125
- I don't belong anywhere.
- Oh hush. You know who you sound like?
294
00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:39,541
Your father.
295
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:43,208
What? Yeah, right.
Dad was the greatest Satan of all time.
296
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:45,208
That's who he became.
297
00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:48,833
When he first got hired,
he failed constantly.
298
00:16:48,916 --> 00:16:51,458
I couldn't even get
a measly possession right.
299
00:16:51,541 --> 00:16:53,583
Don't worry about it.
300
00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:56,541
Pastor James, and pardon my language,
301
00:16:56,625 --> 00:16:57,625
is an ass.
302
00:16:57,708 --> 00:17:00,000
He can have the congregation.
303
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:02,333
Wait, what did you just say?
304
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:10,958
Shirley, I said I wanted
"We Built This City" in D minor.
305
00:17:11,041 --> 00:17:12,750
Get it together, dummy.
306
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:19,791
E... Everyone, everyone,
I have an announcement.
307
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:22,000
Pastor James is...
308
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,583
the serial mooner.
309
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:34,500
{\an8}The cheeks!
They are an exact match!
310
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,708
You literally just hit me
where the good Lord split me.
311
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,208
Praise Shirley!
312
00:17:41,291 --> 00:17:42,666
Shirley forever!
313
00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:47,416
Impressive. How did you know it was James?
314
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:50,458
Well, first off,
streakers love to be seen.
315
00:17:50,541 --> 00:17:52,125
They're exhibitionists.
316
00:17:52,208 --> 00:17:55,208
Never skip leg day. Ha!
317
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,166
{\an8}Then, I thought about
what you said.
318
00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:01,375
Pastor James, and pardon my language,
319
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:04,541
is an ass.
320
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:09,708
Wow, no purebred demon
would've ever put that together.
321
00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:14,083
Being half-human makes you so much better
at figuring us out.
322
00:18:14,166 --> 00:18:18,750
This is why you are destined
to be the greatest devil,
323
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:20,500
or Devilcat,
324
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:23,375
the universe has ever known.
325
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:26,708
Hey. Maybe you could come down
and live with me.
326
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,625
I could blow up the air mattress.
327
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,291
Actually, all beds
in Hell are air mattresses, so...
328
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,208
Oh.
329
00:18:32,291 --> 00:18:35,666
That's very kind of you,
but I belong up here.
330
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:38,875
And thanks to you,
I've got a congregation to run.
331
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:44,666
Huh. Rejected by your own mother.
I can relate.
332
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:48,333
Look, Greta, I know you're still bent
out of shape about what your mom said.
333
00:18:48,416 --> 00:18:52,625
But you have to understand.
She's just a dumb, confused human.
334
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:55,791
And that human part is
what makes her so wonderful.
335
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,958
You know, Marv, I was wrong about you.
336
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:08,708
You're not a feckless, uncharismatic,
hunched, gutless, bald human bagpipe
337
00:19:08,791 --> 00:19:11,208
incapable of managing a Big Bulk.
338
00:19:11,291 --> 00:19:14,916
You are capable of managing a Big Bulk.
339
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,708
I'd like to promote you
to general manager.
340
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:20,375
I won't let you down, sir.
341
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,125
Marv, well done, man.
342
00:19:23,208 --> 00:19:24,666
I'm proud of you.
343
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:29,083
Hey, that sounded sincere
when I said it. I think I meant it.
344
00:19:29,166 --> 00:19:31,666
Oh, Godcat, that's so sweet.
345
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:33,583
You know, we make a good team.
346
00:19:33,666 --> 00:19:36,458
Hey! You should join
my Dungeons & Dragons league.
347
00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:39,125
Whoa. Slow down.
I said I was happy for you.
348
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:42,500
I didn't say I wanted
to turn my beard beard into a neck beard.
349
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,416
They're closing in. What do we do?
350
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,708
Grab my waist. I have an idea.
351
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:59,375
- Uh... Mom?
- Greta? What are you doing here?
352
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:02,750
There was a note at the auto shop.
I couldn't read your handwriting.
353
00:20:02,833 --> 00:20:07,125
I thought it said, "Headed to junkyard.
Off to butt ham fires."
354
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:12,500
- No. "Off to hunt vampires."
- Aw, look at these little doggos.
355
00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:14,250
Ow!
356
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:15,375
No!
357
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:23,666
There must be some way
to reverse it. Think.
358
00:20:23,750 --> 00:20:27,791
Well, legend has it,
as long as the alpha roams the earth,
359
00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:30,625
its victims will forever be vampugs.
360
00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:33,583
But no one has ever seen the alpha.
361
00:20:36,208 --> 00:20:39,125
What about the house-sized one
with the collar that says "Alpha"?
362
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:42,041
Huh. Well, fresh eyes, I guess.
363
00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:48,666
Hyah!
364
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:52,333
- Bad dog. Heel. No treats. Bad.
- Hyah!
365
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:54,333
Huh?
366
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,041
Behind you.
367
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:03,333
I've got an idea.
368
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:23,916
Greta! Thank God you're back to normal.
369
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,041
My nose was pressing on my brain.
370
00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:27,625
Pugs are not okay.
371
00:21:29,291 --> 00:21:30,666
Hmm.
372
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,791
Greta, honey,
I'm sorry for dragging you on this trip.
373
00:21:35,875 --> 00:21:38,708
I was trying to make up for...
Well, you know.
374
00:21:38,791 --> 00:21:41,958
Mom, I know you didn't mean
that you regret having me and Travis.
375
00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:45,916
You just have complex feelings
about trading your career for a family.
376
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,041
I was too hard on you.
377
00:21:51,041 --> 00:21:54,333
It's on the house,
and I've got something for you.
378
00:21:55,625 --> 00:21:56,458
Wow.
379
00:21:56,541 --> 00:21:59,916
I forgot how good it feels
to get a commendation.
380
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,916
It's like burpees for my self-esteem.
381
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,166
You know, I could use a partner.
382
00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:07,416
Ever think of going pro?
383
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:12,958
Do it, Mom. It'll make you happy.
384
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,125
Greta, I'm already happy.
385
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:18,333
Besides, being your mom
spikes my adrenaline way more
386
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:20,041
than monster hunting ever could.
387
00:22:20,125 --> 00:22:23,791
Oh, sorry, I meant the car stuff
was on the house.
388
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:28,833
Notarization of the Vampire Hunter
certificate is actually 80 bucks.
389
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:31,750
Keep the change.
390
00:22:31,833 --> 00:22:33,833
Yeah, it's hard to describe.
391
00:22:33,916 --> 00:22:35,375
It's art, sure,
392
00:22:35,458 --> 00:22:38,041
but it's also a commentary on our society.
393
00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:41,250
It's beautiful and tragic, all at once.
394
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:45,833
Wow, I hope one day you could show me
this butt clap compilation.
395
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,208
Come on, Trav. We're leaving. Now.
396
00:22:50,291 --> 00:22:53,708
Oh. Looks like I gotta go,
but can I get your number?
397
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:57,333
Oh, right. Um... Can I get your email?
398
00:22:58,125 --> 00:22:59,458
Oh, right.
399
00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:04,666
You could write me a romantic letter,
and then I could write you one back,
400
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:08,458
and we'll sit by the mailbox and wait
for the postman to arrive each day,
401
00:23:08,541 --> 00:23:09,958
hoping against hope.
402
00:23:10,041 --> 00:23:12,875
- Yeah, I'm not doing that.
- I get it. It's a lot.
403
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:14,416
Mwah!
404
00:23:16,291 --> 00:23:18,958
Best trip ever!
405
00:23:21,416 --> 00:23:22,583
Abbie, pull over!
406
00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:32,375
Oh!
407
00:23:45,708 --> 00:23:46,708
Huh?
408
00:23:49,833 --> 00:23:51,375
♪ Leaves that unfold ♪
409
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:53,708
♪ In the age to come ♪
410
00:23:57,666 --> 00:24:01,125
♪ As they burst to life ♪
411
00:24:01,208 --> 00:24:03,916
♪ Each great and small ♪
412
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,083
♪ For the age to come ♪
413
00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:10,208
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
414
00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:13,166
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
415
00:24:13,875 --> 00:24:16,541
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
416
00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:20,125
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
417
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,791
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
418
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:26,333
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
419
00:24:26,416 --> 00:24:29,166
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
420
00:24:29,250 --> 00:24:32,708
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
421
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:38,583
♪ Mark your compass ♪
422
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:44,583
♪ Larks to follow you home ♪
33127
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