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1
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,125
Steal Truck Drive Drive!
2
00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:18,625
Ouch! My hip!
3
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,041
Ow! My butthole!
4
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:24,666
{\an8}Oh! My colon!
5
00:00:24,750 --> 00:00:27,375
{\an8}Achievement unlocked. Punched a bald dude.
6
00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:32,333
Good morning, Travis.
From your unlocked achievements,
7
00:00:32,416 --> 00:00:36,541
it looks like you knee-capped a pimp
with a sack of doorknobs.
8
00:00:36,625 --> 00:00:37,875
Good for you.
9
00:00:38,958 --> 00:00:41,958
{\an8}Achievement unlocked.
Disrespected a college education.
10
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:45,125
So, tell me, how's Travis's day going?
11
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:46,250
Bad.
12
00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:49,458
My family didn't even remember
today's my half-birthday.
13
00:00:49,541 --> 00:00:52,416
Your half-birthday? What's a half...
14
00:00:54,541 --> 00:00:55,833
Die, Stillwell.
15
00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:01,083
Sorry. He's from a rival therapy practice.
16
00:01:01,166 --> 00:01:03,041
Please, continue.
17
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:07,541
See, my actual birthday is on Christmas,
which means I get totally shafted.
18
00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:09,333
So, this year, I asked my mom
19
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:12,000
if... if we could celebrate
my half-birthday instead.
20
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,750
But does she listen? No.
21
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:16,500
Just went in one ear
and out that same ear.
22
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:19,416
{\an8}Achievement unlocked.
Was vulnerable during therapy.
23
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,333
{\an8}So, anyhow,
I bought one of those body pillows
24
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,916
{\an8}that pregnant ladies sleep with,
and when I'm alone...
25
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,791
Oops. Wi-Fi's breaking up. Gotta go.
26
00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:33,458
Ew. I touched that pillow.
27
00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:47,000
Whoo-hoo!
28
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:49,458
Holy hell, I was good at my job.
29
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:54,083
On the sixth day, I not only created
butterflies but also grizzly bears.
30
00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:57,458
That's like reading poetry
while wanking at the same time.
31
00:01:58,708 --> 00:02:00,125
Looking for family fun?
32
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:03,250
Well, look no further
than Shane & Chugger's.
33
00:02:03,333 --> 00:02:08,333
Hot games, cold beer, tepid cheese,
and technically edible Cajun cuisine.
34
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:09,958
Yeehaw!
35
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:14,000
This! See? This is what is so frustrating.
36
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,125
I painstakingly create a planet
37
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,791
where there's a worm
that goes into a sleeping bag,
38
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:22,000
then comes out with wings
that are stained-glass windows.
39
00:02:22,083 --> 00:02:24,291
Then you idiots fill it with this crap.
40
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:28,375
Shane & Chugger's? Looks like
they gave hepatitis its own restaurant.
41
00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:30,666
Travis is always asking to go there,
42
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,000
but I can't afford to blow
an entire afternoon
43
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,416
spending time with my son.
44
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:37,208
Well, makes sense. That place looks like
the inside of his brain.
45
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,458
Marv, emergency.
46
00:02:39,541 --> 00:02:42,583
Today is Travis's half-birthday,
and he told his therapist
47
00:02:42,666 --> 00:02:45,458
that it's the most important thing
in the world.
48
00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,500
Therapist?
Our insurance doesn't cover therapy.
49
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:51,500
Wh... Why do you think I scream
into the toilet every night before bed?
50
00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:53,875
Okay, fine, you got me.
51
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:57,416
I created an avatar
so I can pose as Travis's therapist
52
00:02:57,500 --> 00:03:00,416
in his Drive-Kill game
to know what's going on in his life.
53
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:04,625
Abbie! Th... That's a total invasion
of Travis's privacy.
54
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:07,000
A teenage boy isn't gonna open up
to his mom.
55
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:10,083
Anyway, we need
to throw Travis an amazing party
56
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:13,333
if we want to accomplish
Operation Happy Family.
57
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:17,666
Do we have to treat every family activity
like a military mission?
58
00:03:17,750 --> 00:03:20,083
I mean, It was bad enough
when you used to scream,
59
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:22,083
"Operation Reproduction!"
60
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:26,333
What? So a birthday party on his
actual birthday isn't enough for the kid?
61
00:03:26,833 --> 00:03:29,000
♪ Happy birthday ♪
62
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,833
♪ Happy birthday... ♪
63
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,625
Wait a minute.
64
00:03:34,708 --> 00:03:38,333
Formerly broken family comes together
to throw pointless party
65
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:39,541
to make child happy.
66
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,583
This is exactly
what I need to show the board
67
00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:46,000
what a great job I've done
to bring your pathetic family closer.
68
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:48,208
Dear God, please help me.
69
00:03:49,250 --> 00:03:50,708
Hey, Cheryl. It's me.
70
00:03:50,791 --> 00:03:52,750
Send the cherubs down
for a performance review.
71
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,593
Welcome to the prayer line.
72
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,083
If a sports team you bet on
73
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,625
isn't covering the point spread,
press "one."
74
00:03:58,708 --> 00:04:01,750
If you just got back
from Cancun and it burns when you...
75
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,916
Ugh! Representative.
76
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:06,375
Main menu.
77
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,875
- Happy half-birthday!
- Happy half-birthday!
78
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,333
You know it's my half-birthday?
79
00:04:12,416 --> 00:04:17,000
Of course. We've been planning your party
for weeks, ya silly goose.
80
00:04:17,083 --> 00:04:20,458
Yeah. Since... um, half-Veterans Day.
81
00:04:20,541 --> 00:04:23,875
Can it be like Aidan's birthday party,
where we demolished a giant piñata,
82
00:04:23,958 --> 00:04:26,500
and his stepdad let us shoot
bottle rockets into traffic?
83
00:04:26,583 --> 00:04:30,166
Sure. We know
how important this is to you,
84
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,166
so it's important to us.
85
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:35,125
Huh, wow. Oh. I'm gonna go call Aidan!
86
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:37,958
Dude! Dude! Dude! Dude!
My parents are throwing me a rager.
87
00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,666
Bring over that list
of new swear words you came up with.
88
00:04:40,750 --> 00:04:43,416
It's gonna be lit, you butt guzzler!
89
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,458
Okay, we have one hour
to set up the kind of mind-blowing rager
90
00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:48,541
that will show our son that we love him.
91
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:51,791
Abbie, as someone who's been
to many a mind-blowing rager
92
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:55,750
and a handful of fairly epic Google Meets,
we just can't pull it off.
93
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,416
Marv, I can't do this without you.
94
00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,750
We are a team.
95
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,916
Did my SEAL team say,
"We can't pull it off"
96
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,250
when we were ordered
to blow up the Pope? No!
97
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,541
We did it, and we blamed it on a volcano.
98
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:10,166
Yeah, I don't think you're supposed
to be telling me this stuff, hon.
99
00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:19,625
Perfect.
100
00:05:19,708 --> 00:05:21,041
Happiest family on earth.
101
00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,583
Godcat? I'm trying to reach Father.
102
00:05:24,666 --> 00:05:27,583
I need his hot glue gun again.
My hair is being unmanageable.
103
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:30,416
Are you calling me from your room?
You could just come down here.
104
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,666
I prefer to telecommute.
105
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:35,500
In today's world, there's no logical need
for interpersonal physical interaction.
106
00:05:35,583 --> 00:05:38,666
Well, I sometimes frequent a club
out by the Heaven Airport
107
00:05:38,750 --> 00:05:40,875
that says you're wrong. Marv's busy.
108
00:05:40,958 --> 00:05:44,958
Your folks are throwing Travis
a half-birthday party later today.
109
00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:46,041
What?
110
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,250
They're here!
111
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,750
Hey, GC. What's good?
112
00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:58,625
That's how humans say
"how are ya" colloquially.
113
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:01,041
We brushed up
so we could fit in down here.
114
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,041
What's good, guys?
115
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:07,500
How are things up at the old bless-mess?
Total crap show without me, I bet? Huh?
116
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,000
Oh, big-time.
117
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:11,416
We need you back up there pronto, boss.
118
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:15,500
But you know, got to really prove yourself
to the board first. Right? So lame.
119
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,875
Well, that's exactly
what I called you guys down for.
120
00:06:18,958 --> 00:06:22,083
Once you see
how this family has come together, you...
121
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:29,416
Is that strawberry sherbet
with a serotonin swirl?
122
00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:34,083
Mmm! Mmm! Yum. Sweet ride, guys.
123
00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:37,333
Ha! This isn't just a sweet ride.
124
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:40,541
It's the 2024 XRC Unicorn Deluxe.
125
00:06:40,625 --> 00:06:43,541
One horsepower,
platinum hooves, rainbow interior.
126
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,833
This is the only unicorn like this
in all of Heaven.
127
00:06:45,916 --> 00:06:47,666
Borrowed it from the VIP stable.
128
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,375
Mmm, hope there's room
on that unicorn for a third,
129
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:53,958
'cause I got a feeling after you guys see
the work I've done down here,
130
00:06:54,041 --> 00:06:56,291
I am gonna need a ride back home.
131
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,958
Well, there is a suicide seat
that folds out from the butt cheeks,
132
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,250
and the you-know-what
becomes a cup holder.
133
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:04,208
Well then, shotgun!
134
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,041
Okay, let's head in.
135
00:07:11,916 --> 00:07:14,333
Come on, the clock is ticking.
136
00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:16,416
We have to make it look like
we put real effort
137
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,000
into throwing Travis this party.
138
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:19,208
Now, up a little.
139
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,041
My up or, or, or your up?
140
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,291
Same up, Marv!
141
00:07:23,375 --> 00:07:25,791
Are they always screaming
at each other like that?
142
00:07:25,875 --> 00:07:29,833
Um... Sure, yes.
That was an idea I came up with.
143
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,458
"Loud is love."
144
00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:33,625
I love you guys too!
145
00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:38,666
Oh, and here's Greta,
lending a hand to throw this party
146
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,291
for the brother she now loves
because of me.
147
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:44,125
The only thing I love
about Travis is that he's a deep sleeper.
148
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:46,416
I've been feeding him spiders
and glow sticks at night
149
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,250
to try to create a new superhero.
150
00:07:50,958 --> 00:07:52,708
These are the party decorations?
151
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:54,833
Uh... Don't you get the theme?
152
00:07:54,916 --> 00:08:00,208
It's a half-birthday party,
so everything is half-assed! Doy.
153
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:02,458
Oh. Great idea!
154
00:08:02,541 --> 00:08:05,375
I'll put out some stale Pringles
and warm Sprite.
155
00:08:05,958 --> 00:08:08,250
We need more time. Take Travis somewhere.
156
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,416
Also, while you're out,
can you grab some wine?
157
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:11,833
I need a mixer for my vodka.
158
00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:15,958
And leave the cherubs here to witness
how your trainwreck of a family interacts?
159
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:16,875
No way.
160
00:08:16,958 --> 00:08:18,041
Take them too.
161
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:22,208
Show them all the breathtaking creations
you're always bragging about.
162
00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:23,916
Actually, that's a decent idea.
163
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,250
I can show them some
of the majesty I created.
164
00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,833
Have them remind the board
what kind of high-end product
165
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:30,666
the GOAT put out back in the day.
166
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:32,500
Guess what, Trav?
167
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,291
We got together with Godcat
168
00:08:34,375 --> 00:08:38,375
and came up with a fun activity
for your big half-day.
169
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,625
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
170
00:08:39,708 --> 00:08:44,208
Oh man, I've been waiting my whole life
to have my own special day.
171
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,791
Huh. Oh man, you guys are wearing diapers?
I can't wait to find out why.
172
00:08:48,875 --> 00:08:50,583
This day's gonna be so sick!
173
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,291
{\an8}Slagnar, if I may,
174
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:58,375
{\an8}I had one idea I wanted to pitch
in this week's board meeting.
175
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:00,916
{\an8}Yes, Beelzebub. We're all ears.
176
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,583
Ha. This ought to be idiotic.
177
00:09:03,666 --> 00:09:06,750
Okay, what if instead of torturing souls
178
00:09:06,833 --> 00:09:09,916
with spikes and fire
and all that lame junk,
179
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:14,500
we make them try to fold a fitted sheet?
180
00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:18,541
And we can get a great price on them.
As you know, we own IKEA, so...
181
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:23,125
Enough! We got it.
We'll put our best guy on it. Dan.
182
00:09:25,291 --> 00:09:28,666
Isn't Dan just a head
on a stick we use to scare people?
183
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:33,083
{\an8}For now, sure. But everyone's got to start
somewhere. Okay, bye.
184
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:35,666
Ugh!
185
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,791
I should've done what other demons do
when they're cast out of Hell.
186
00:09:38,875 --> 00:09:40,416
Open a Jimmy John's.
187
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:50,333
Hah!
188
00:09:50,416 --> 00:09:53,041
Okay. There goes the neighborhood.
189
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:56,208
Oh, you're kidding me. Another person?!
190
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,708
And one of them has a Hacky Sack.
191
00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:04,166
Everyone knows that Hacky Sacks
are actually marijuana purses!
192
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:09,541
Hello. This is Karen, and...
Don't say "again" like that.
193
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,791
I have every right
to call whenever I want.
194
00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:17,000
I just thought maybe you should know
there's an unapproved party
195
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,000
happening in our neighborhood.
196
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,666
You'll "look into it"!
197
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:26,333
I will just have to take matters
into my own hands!
198
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:33,041
Now that lady is evil!
199
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:37,625
She's like if Genghis Khan worked
at Lululemon. Hey, Karen, wait up!
200
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:43,250
Now come on, tell us,
which one of you posed for this one?
201
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,500
I think it has Aslandeus' playful spirit,
202
00:10:45,583 --> 00:10:47,458
but the wiener
definitely looks like Craig's.
203
00:10:47,541 --> 00:10:49,833
Can we go somewhere fun now?
204
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,583
I think I've seen
enough marble testicles for one day.
205
00:10:52,666 --> 00:10:54,750
But look at all this natural wonder.
206
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:57,583
Look at this busy little bee,
207
00:10:57,666 --> 00:11:01,583
upholding our entire ecosystem
by the simple act of pollination.
208
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:04,458
Frankly, sir,
that was a bit of a design flaw.
209
00:11:04,541 --> 00:11:05,958
Well, I couldn't have anticipated
210
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,083
that the stupid humans would figure out
a way to actually kill bees.
211
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:13,041
I gave them swords for butts.
Doesn't that seem like enough protection?
212
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:16,000
Okay. Okay. Let's go into the museum.
213
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:17,708
A museum?
214
00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:22,541
A museum is the most boring thing
that can happen to a human being.
215
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,625
Okay, buddy.
216
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:27,958
Tell Unky Godcat what you wanna do.
217
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:32,708
I know. How about we go down to the woods
and feed some deer to the bears?
218
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:34,958
No way.
219
00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:38,083
No. No. No, we are not going there.
220
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:39,833
So, guys...
221
00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:44,416
Obviously, I made
the most exquisite planet of all time.
222
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,500
Sunsets, cheetahs, tiki bars...
You know my hits.
223
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:50,083
But this place... not on me.
224
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,166
The humans are totally to blame for...
225
00:11:52,250 --> 00:11:55,541
Oh man, oh man, oh man, I am so pumped!
226
00:11:55,625 --> 00:11:58,625
They have a game where you guide
a healthy adult through a Bass Pro Shop
227
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,250
and see how quickly you can reduce his IQ!
228
00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:04,000
It's called "Living in Arizona."
229
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:05,458
Travis,
230
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:08,625
obviously Aslandeus and Craig
aren't interested in...
231
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:11,250
Whoo!
It's like a rat casino for children!
232
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,708
Okay, but one hour tops,
and then we're going home.
233
00:12:14,791 --> 00:12:16,750
Aslandeus, no running!
234
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:19,583
I wasn't sure
what to get for a half-birthday.
235
00:12:19,666 --> 00:12:22,500
All I could find was a box set
of Two and a Half Men
236
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:24,166
and a dozen cartons of half-and-half.
237
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:28,250
That thing came out of nowhere!
238
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:29,958
Ahh!
239
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,791
Oh no, it's not breathing.
240
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,583
Come on, live, damn you.
241
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,208
Its mouth tastes like Starburst.
242
00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:45,500
How is that possibly worse
than horse mouth?
243
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:53,541
Meh, figures.
Happens every time I get a car wash.
244
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:57,541
Agh! This is all Godcat's fault.
If he hadn't summoned those cherubs down...
245
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:03,333
Ugh, Mother, for the last time,
246
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,291
please stop bringing home roadkill
for dinner.
247
00:13:05,375 --> 00:13:07,541
This isn't for dinner. Well, it could be.
248
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:10,041
Depends if I have sour cream
in the fridge. Ugh!
249
00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:13,583
Your father hit it with the car.
Just grab me the jumper cables.
250
00:13:13,666 --> 00:13:15,375
Mother, tell me you're not attempting
251
00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:17,916
to defibrillate a unicorn
with jumper cables.
252
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,583
Well, what the hell would you use
to restart a unicorn heart?
253
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,791
Jolly Ranchers and Christmas lights?
254
00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:26,166
I got it.
255
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,125
Hmm.
256
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:31,041
Buckle up, Greta. Hurricane Karen
is headed straight for you.
257
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:34,791
I've never seen a creature this evil,
and I've been to a taping of Ellen.
258
00:13:34,875 --> 00:13:35,875
Excuse me.
259
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:38,666
- Young lady, are your parents home?
- Yes.
260
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,208
Well, they're not supposed
to be throwing a party
261
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:44,333
without written consent
from the Neighborhood Council.
262
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:47,041
- I agree.
- How dare you call me that.
263
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:50,291
I... Wait, what? You agree?
264
00:13:50,375 --> 00:13:52,833
Yes. I abhor the idea of this "party."
265
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,250
It's a celebration
of my brother's half-birthday.
266
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:57,625
In my opinion, the only time we should
celebrate Travis
267
00:13:57,708 --> 00:13:59,708
is when he finally stops eating chapstick.
268
00:13:59,791 --> 00:14:03,958
Well... uh, regardless,
you can't have this many guests...
269
00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:07,291
...on one's property, regardless
of plot size, per Section 7C of...
270
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,000
...the HOA agreement.
271
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:13,125
I'm as shocked and appalled as you are,
but as a minor, there's nothing I can do.
272
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:16,375
Why not come in? We'll work together
to present evidence to the HOA.
273
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,666
I... Well... You...
274
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:21,416
But I would like to speak to your...
275
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:24,291
Okay. Sure.
276
00:14:28,791 --> 00:14:30,333
Damn! How'd you do that?
277
00:14:30,416 --> 00:14:31,250
It's simple.
278
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:34,208
Karen requires conflict to survive,
and I've deprived her of it.
279
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,625
Soon, she will shrivel and die.
280
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:38,541
Easy.
281
00:14:38,625 --> 00:14:42,541
You do know she's making
those Hacky Sack kids pee in a cup, right?
282
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:43,708
Oh, for chrissakes.
283
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:55,041
I don't believe this.
Is this the culmination of human creation?
284
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,083
Is this what they've done
with the free will
285
00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:59,708
I so kindly bestowed upon them?
286
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,875
Come here!
287
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,041
You're not my father!
288
00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:12,166
See ya.
289
00:15:12,250 --> 00:15:13,625
Goodbye.
290
00:15:14,208 --> 00:15:17,791
I should put the whole planet up
on Zillow. See if I get any bites.
291
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:20,083
Well, hello there, mon ami!
292
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:24,166
At Shane & Chugger's,
everything is ça c'est bon!
293
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,958
What sort of Hell-demon
manifested this freak of nature?
294
00:15:28,041 --> 00:15:30,958
Certainly wasn't me.
Unless it was that third day.
295
00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:32,666
One too many whippets on Day Three.
296
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:35,666
Why doncha come on
down to the bayou some time?
297
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:37,500
Yeehaw.
298
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:40,291
I'm not going anywhere with you,
swamp rat.
299
00:15:40,375 --> 00:15:42,083
Do you know what my day has been like?
300
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:43,583
Repeatedly facing the reality
301
00:15:43,666 --> 00:15:46,083
that the magnificence I forged
means nothing,
302
00:15:46,166 --> 00:15:50,750
and all humans appreciate is flat beer,
blinking lights, and chemical cheese?
303
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:53,583
Laissez les bontemps roulez!
304
00:15:53,666 --> 00:15:56,000
How dare you tell me what to do.
305
00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:59,208
And in French,
a language I made up as a silly joke.
306
00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:09,500
Holy Chugger's, that felt good.
307
00:16:18,708 --> 00:16:21,250
Interesting shirt choice.
308
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:26,166
Did you know that Bob Marley used pot?
309
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,083
Yeah. Wanna guess how he ended up?
310
00:16:28,666 --> 00:16:29,875
Dead!
311
00:16:30,833 --> 00:16:32,916
Not from pot. From cancer.
312
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,500
We actually read his biography
in my book club.
313
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,500
Clear!
314
00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:38,583
Hmm.
315
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:41,125
Karen, I've been looking for you.
316
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:45,166
So far, I've counted
a half-dozen HOA violations in this house.
317
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:49,500
Expired coupons, a chandelier
with mismatched bulbs, dust bunnies.
318
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,708
And what's that odor?
319
00:16:51,791 --> 00:16:54,708
It smells like
the Lip Smacker factory burned down.
320
00:16:54,791 --> 00:16:56,000
Uh...
321
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,125
It's probably coming from the pantry.
322
00:16:58,208 --> 00:17:00,958
We used to have a chemical toilet in there
to save on the water bill.
323
00:17:01,041 --> 00:17:03,541
Come on. Probably a ton of violations.
324
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:05,708
Hmm.
325
00:17:06,708 --> 00:17:08,291
We could try my wishing idea.
326
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:11,416
I... I saw this movie called
The Last Unicorn.
327
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,666
We are not taking advice
from a kids' movie.
328
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,958
I mean, the plot is very advanced.
329
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:19,208
A kid would have a pathetic grasp
on the political tensions
330
00:17:19,291 --> 00:17:20,541
of the Mushroom Planet.
331
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,875
Dammit, they're back!
332
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,291
We promised Travis
the best half-birthday ever.
333
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:27,916
Instead, we've got CSI: Narnia.
334
00:17:31,541 --> 00:17:33,541
Great party. No piñata.
335
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,041
There's barely any people here.
336
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,291
And one of them is the kid
who accidentally called
337
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:38,750
our math teacher "Mom."
338
00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:42,416
Oh, piñata shmiñata. Look at this turnout!
339
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,625
Six, maybe seven people.
340
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:47,208
On Earth, that's a lot of people.
341
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:53,083
Something's awry.
342
00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:56,000
Mm-hmm. In that garage.
343
00:17:56,083 --> 00:18:01,375
I'll call the HOA to get over here.
Let's meet in the driveway at 1700 hours.
344
00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,708
This is it, Greta. We got 'em!
345
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:11,625
What do you mean you had an accident?
346
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,541
"We had an accident."
347
00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:17,666
"I can't keep my widdul wife togethaw
for two widdul houwaws."
348
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:19,208
"My bwain has no winkles."
349
00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:23,541
Oh man!
That is a spot-on Abbie.
350
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:24,791
Uh, okay, now do me.
351
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:25,875
Ow.
352
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:29,333
Okay, update.
Karen's calling the authorities,
353
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:30,833
and they'll be here any minute.
354
00:18:30,916 --> 00:18:35,291
Dammit! Do you have any idea
how screwed I am if the cherubs realize
355
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:38,708
that the family I was assigned to help
not only ruined their child's party
356
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:41,541
by killing their borrowed unicorn,
but also,
357
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,750
they killed their borrowed unicorn!
358
00:18:44,375 --> 00:18:45,375
Hmm.
359
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,416
Wait. I have an idea.
360
00:18:56,125 --> 00:19:00,583
Criminy! What does this thing eat?
Deep-fried kettlebells?
361
00:19:00,666 --> 00:19:03,625
Just a bit further.
362
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,416
Hey, where's the XRC going?
363
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,875
We're in position. Go! Go! Go!
364
00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:17,958
You know, you really shouldn't let
your pony eat that grass over there.
365
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:21,416
Our neighbor Karen douses it
in all kinds of chemicals.
366
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:25,458
Come on. It's just a bit of grass.
What's the worst that could happen?
367
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,250
Whoa.
368
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,833
That's the greatest piñata I've ever seen!
369
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:56,333
- No!
- No!
370
00:19:56,416 --> 00:19:58,375
Stay with me. Stay with me.
371
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:00,625
Be alive again! Be alive again.
372
00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,041
Wait, what?
373
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:03,000
No!
374
00:20:03,083 --> 00:20:07,541
That unlicensed party pony trespassed
on my property!
375
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:09,916
Karen, we welcome you with open arms,
376
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:14,416
and in return you poison
slash blow up an innocent pony? Shame!
377
00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:16,416
I need to speak to a supervisor.
378
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,750
Karen, I'm going to need you
to hand in your badge and gun,
379
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:25,000
and by "badge and gun"
I mean citation pad and loud whistle.
380
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,750
My whistle is how I yell at joggers.
381
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,625
How am I going to...
382
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,500
Okay.
383
00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:39,208
This isn't over, Greta.
384
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:41,458
Did Karen give up
when she got kicked out of Walmart
385
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,708
for assaulting a greeter?
386
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:45,500
Or when Burger King got
a restraining order to keep her away
387
00:20:45,583 --> 00:20:47,458
from their managers? No way!
388
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:48,791
She'll be back.
389
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,208
Uh, hey, Karen, wait up.
390
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:54,125
Why don't we go down to Home Depot
and harass the day laborers?
391
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,625
Genius, Greta. H... How'd you do it?
392
00:20:56,708 --> 00:21:00,250
Well, after analyzing the sugar content
of the unicorn's lower intestine
393
00:21:00,333 --> 00:21:04,166
and noticing it had a similar make-up
to that of popular mint candy Mentos,
394
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:07,500
I timed the release of a flood
of a carbonated, aspartame mixture,
395
00:21:07,583 --> 00:21:11,458
or "Diet Coke," into its system
at exactly the right moment. Then, kaboom.
396
00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:14,458
Hey, just like what happens in my belly.
397
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:17,083
That's how I got banned from AMC Theaters.
398
00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:19,833
Then all that was left
to do was push the blame onto Karen.
399
00:21:19,916 --> 00:21:22,916
The look on her face,
the shame, the defeat.
400
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,666
Hey, maybe I do like parties.
401
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:31,708
It's totaled!
402
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,625
But again, to get back
to the whole reason you're down here,
403
00:21:34,708 --> 00:21:36,791
I did bring the family together.
404
00:21:36,875 --> 00:21:40,833
Oh, shut up! We have bigger problems
than your stupid Earth project.
405
00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:43,791
Let's go, Craig. Yo, turn these in for me.
406
00:21:43,875 --> 00:21:47,458
And get good value. Don't be coming back
with any of those troll-doll keychains.
407
00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:50,041
I'm talking black light frisbee or higher.
408
00:21:54,291 --> 00:21:58,875
Well, I will say there are a lot
of things humans really frigged up.
409
00:21:58,958 --> 00:22:02,625
Murder, taxes, John Krasinski starring
in action movies.
410
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,583
I didn't do any of that.
411
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,791
But they did get one thing right.
412
00:22:06,875 --> 00:22:07,875
This game.
413
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:11,833
And orange soda. Fine, two things.
414
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:16,708
I don't know.
I guess maybe it's not all their fault.
415
00:22:16,791 --> 00:22:20,000
I have been on cruise control
for a few centuries.
416
00:22:20,083 --> 00:22:23,333
Maybe I can help them
if I put in a little more effort.
417
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:31,208
Hey, I'd be jambalyin' if I said
I wasn't having a good time with you.
418
00:22:32,416 --> 00:22:36,208
You know what, Chorgle?
I'd be jambalyin' too. One more game.
419
00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:45,958
Aw.
420
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:50,833
- Hey, bud. What's that for?
- Thanks for today. It was pretty awesome.
421
00:22:50,916 --> 00:22:53,958
Aidan says he's going to be pulling
unicorn guts out of his hair for weeks.
422
00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:56,750
Oh. Best piñata ever.
423
00:22:57,750 --> 00:22:59,708
I kinda felt
like no one ever listens to me,
424
00:22:59,791 --> 00:23:03,833
but Godcat took me to Shane & Chugger's,
you guys threw me that awesome party...
425
00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:07,333
Of course we're listening, sweetie.
We love you.
426
00:23:07,416 --> 00:23:11,625
See? It's not "in one ear,
out the same ear," now is it?
427
00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:14,250
Just went in one ear,
and out that same ear.
428
00:23:14,333 --> 00:23:16,708
...out that same ear.
...out that same ear.
429
00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:18,666
...out that same ear.
...out that same ear.
430
00:23:40,916 --> 00:23:43,708
Betrayed!
34926
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