Original subtitles

How much should I use?

A little bit goes a long way, so... Can't quite get it to... Oh, um... Why is it... Oh, this is the other part of the photography.

To take pictures of your penis?

Yeah, it's erotic photography 101, so I gotta have some nude photos.

Okay, well I can leave the room for the nude photos.

Well, I need you here because I need the model here or I fail.

So... I mean, I don't know.

What would your father think about this?

Dad knows I'm taking this class and everything.

He's totally fine with it.

I mean, here.

Let me throw this out there.

Just put your head near it.

You know, just near it.

That way it doesn't... But not touching it.

Well, I mean, just to hold it up and make it look like it's there, but other than that, yeah.

But it's not, this is like an art project, right?

Yeah, no, just put it in the area, it doesn't look like you're doing anything.

It's like one of those museum things, right?

Come on, just help me out.

I bet if I was your real son, you'd do it.

Oh, sweetheart, you don't feel like I treat you like my real son?

Baby, you know I love you.

I'm sorry.

I'm being difficult and old-fashioned.

It's just a generational thing.

You know, there we go.

Now I can take some photos.

Get your head closer to it.

Just, um, how about you put your tongue near it?

That would be erotic.

Yeah?

Just near it.

Not touching it, just near it.

Just for the eroticism.

Get closer.

There you go.

That's good.

We're getting it, we're getting it, but it doesn't look real.

I'm just not a real model.

You know, baby, I don't really know what face to make.

Maybe if you actually put it in your mouth.

Why?

That would actually do it.

I don't know, I just feel like putting it in my mouth would really be crossing a line.

Well, you know the big sports magazine, don't you?

How they do a swimsuit issue every year?

Oh yeah, I love that.

Yeah, well it's just like that.

You know, sex and photography, they just intertwine, you know?

Oh, I know, you know, but...

And they're the top girls, you know, like... I just... I don't really know what I'm doing, and I'm your mom, and it just feels... awkward.

Well, they don't know that.

Yeah, I guess that's... true.

But... what about when it's like, parent-teacher conference day, and like, you know, the pictures, and... Nobody's gonna know.

This is really important.

Yes, this is this is the last this is the end-all be-all Yeah, mm-hmm So like just put it in my mouth, yeah, just kind of just yeah, that's I'll take pictures of it.

Yep.

Look here.

I Don't know

That's good.

I feel awkward doing this, and I feel like I don't really know what I'm doing.

I mean, we already got this far.

I just need to get a few more, and then that's it.

All right.