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1
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I wanna have kids,lots and lots of kids.
And I don't need a husband to help do that.
2
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I needn't a life.
3
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because my mom says she ain't gonna clean my room forever.
4
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I like this one girl sara,
5
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but my mom says I can't marry her because she's my cousin.
6
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sync:YTET-doriay
7
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Til Death
8
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1x19
9
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so,uh...
10
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you guys just invited us over for brunch?
11
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It's strangely friendly of you.
12
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Well,we just wanted to thank you for that awesome cappuccino maker that you got us.
13
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-Cappuccino maker.
-Mm-hmm.
14
00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:37,600
Oh,right.
15
00:00:37,690 --> 00:00:39,450
Yeah. You're...welcome.
16
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So great.
17
00:00:41,070 --> 00:00:44,680
Now our kitchen looks just like the williams-sonoma catalog...
18
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{\a6}Williams-Sonama
19
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except for,you know,us.
20
00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:50,040
anyway,eddie's gonna make us all cappuccinos.
21
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:52,010
I haven't really learned how to work the thing yet,
22
00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:55,040
but he's the masteR.He's so good at stuff like that.
23
00:00:55,130 --> 00:00:55,990
Well,that's true.
24
00:00:56,090 --> 00:01:03,820
I do know how to push the right buttons,be it a cappuccino machine,a vcr,or the ladies.
25
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,150
All right,what can I get evybody?
26
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Mmm. Do you serve soy milk?
27
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,630
Soy milk?
28
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We're in america,sweetie.We drink from cows.
29
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Honey,actually,I picked some up for the brunch.
30
00:01:15,690 --> 00:01:16,650
-Ok.
-Oh,great!
31
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I'll have a soy cappuccino,and could you warm the milk before you whip it?
32
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Warm then whip.
33
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Ok,I'll have a cappuccino,
34
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and if you could add an extra shot of espresso.That would be great.
35
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Yeah,extra espresso.
36
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For me,I'm gonna have a half-caf latte and use the cinnamon beans.
37
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Cinnam beans.
38
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And dust it with nutmeg.
39
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Ooh,ooh! Dust mine,too!
40
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But not too much dust.
41
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Ok,everybody's gonna get dusted,all right!?
42
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,760
Just--just...
43
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no more talking.
44
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I have it all up here.
45
00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:41,300
Please...
46
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:44,140
-eddie,could you make mine--
-bup,bup,bup!
47
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Pah!
48
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All right,I'm gonna go she my frittata.
49
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That's right,you heard me.Deal with it.
50
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,640
Why did you buy them a cappuccino maker?
51
00:01:59,730 --> 00:02:00,800
Those things are expensive.
52
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:04,100
For that kind of money,I could have had that thing removed.
53
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:05,890
Oh,no,no,no.
54
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,110
We didn't buy them one,
55
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we just gave them the one we had and never used.
56
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We need the counter space.
57
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:14,970
Steph,that was a wedding gift for my mother.
58
00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:18,160
Was it?
59
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,290
You knew that!
60
00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:23,750
What else are you giving away without my knowledge
61
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,720
My old indian arrowhead collectiong?
62
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,600
No,I did not get rid of your indian arrowheads.
63
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,550
And for the record,every rock that shaped like a triangle--
64
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it's not an arrowhead.
65
00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:37,550
Ok,one down...
66
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:43,540
this is steph's half soy frappe-kappa ladysmith black mambazo.
67
00:02:43,590 --> 00:02:45,470
Look at that. It's so professional.
68
00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:46,850
Your foamed milk looks--
69
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yes,it's like an angel sneezed.
70
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,690
I know,I know.Look,I'll tell you what.
71
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Why don't you make the next one,and I'll go grab a bagel.
72
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,200
You know I don't know how to use that thing.But I'm gonna learn.
73
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,720
-I will.
-Oh,ok.
74
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Don't forget my nutmeg dust.
75
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,590
All righty...steph,here is your cappuccino.
76
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:07,260
Mmm!
77
00:03:07,330 --> 00:03:08,750
Looks delicious!
78
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,250
It's got a nice little aftertaste.
79
00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:17,320
Oh,that might be cascade.The dishwasher's on the fritz.
80
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:21,840
Maybe it's the bitterness of my mother's tears.
81
00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:23,640
Oh,joy!
82
00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:28,020
I finally found out what that weird lady down the street is keeping in her trashcans.
83
00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:31,000
No,wait,wait,wait!Wait,I want to hear this.Is it cats?!
84
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:33,580
Is it a--is it a pile of cats?!
85
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:36,780
No way! She does not!
86
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:40,660
She does not what? What is it she doesn't do?
87
00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:47,890
Huh? Ow!Oh! Son of a mocha frappe latte!
88
00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:53,430
I wanted to thank you for brunch the other day--
89
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:56,060
especially those cappuccinos. They were delicious.
90
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,890
You must be loving that cappuccino maker,huh?
91
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,570
It's making my life a living hell.
92
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:02,470
Really?
93
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,360
Joy has me making these cappuccinos all the time.
94
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:10,090
She's like,"oh,honey,can you make me a decaf bedtime cappy?"
95
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:12,280
Or--or else it's,"oh,I really gotta learn
96
00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:13,800
how to work that machine,"
97
00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,860
but she never does,and she never will.
98
00:04:16,910 --> 00:04:19,130
It's like she's playing me.
99
00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:24,280
Sounds like you're running a starkbucks.
100
00:04:28,130 --> 00:04:31,030
'Cause stark is my last name.
101
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:35,610
Your cleverness is exceeded only by your love affair with the sweater vest.
102
00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:38,970
Hey.
103
00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:40,310
Hey there.
104
00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:42,450
Oh!
105
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:46,060
I had such a crazy day at work today.
106
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,890
Could you make me a tiny little cappuccino?
107
00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:57,220
I know,I know.I'm gonna learn how to use that thing.
108
00:04:57,270 --> 00:04:59,710
You know what? We're gonna teach you right now.
109
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,450
-What? Now?
-Yeah,we are.
110
00:05:01,550 --> 00:05:04,330
-But I'm tired.
-Yeah,we're all tired.
111
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,710
Ok,this is what you do.Very simple.
112
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,180
You take the water,
113
00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:13,110
you put it into the tank. You fill it right up to there.
114
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,380
Ok,I'm lost.
115
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,290
You're lost?
116
00:05:19,390 --> 00:05:20,350
Yeah.
117
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:22,840
Where did I lose you?
118
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,850
I don't know,the water,the tank.
119
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:27,560
Ok,ok,ok,it's easy.
120
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,760
You take the water.You put it into the tank.
121
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,740
You do speak english,correct?
122
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:34,810
Yeah,it's just a little confusing,
123
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:35,720
-that's all.
-Confusing?
124
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,730
Ok,let me put it in terms that you could understand.
125
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:44,180
Pretend that the tank is your bell,and the water is merlot.
126
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,450
Ok.You put the water into the tank.
127
00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:49,280
-Got it.
-Ok.
128
00:05:49,330 --> 00:05:53,510
Then you close the lid like this.Ok.
129
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,070
You're so good at this.
130
00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:58,510
You're an amazing man.
131
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:05,540
Ok,then you press the button right here to prime.
132
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,170
To prime button.
133
00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:13,190
Where are you,joy?
134
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:14,840
Close the lid.
135
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,990
No,we're--we're way past the lid!
136
00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:19,850
The lid is closed!
137
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,720
Then you take the espresso coffee,ok?
138
00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:26,630
You put it into the basket.
139
00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:27,360
That's the basket?
140
00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:28,140
This is the basket,
141
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,500
-and you tamp it.
-Tamp it.
142
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:30,650
You tamp it down.
143
00:06:30,740 --> 00:06:32,880
Ok,then you put it right in here.
144
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:35,810
And you twist it.You make sure it is tight.
145
00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:39,470
You push this button.And you starit.Voila.
146
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:40,710
That's it.
147
00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:43,780
Can I have that?
148
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:47,940
Ok,look,you are a very bright college-educated woman.
149
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,470
I know you can make a cappuccino.
150
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,640
It's very easy.
151
00:06:51,730 --> 00:06:58,610
Ok,it is water,prime,coffee,tamp,twist,button.
152
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:04,030
W-p-c-t-t-B.Wapacitiba.
153
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:08,890
You got it?Wapacitiba.
154
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:15,200
Ok?Wa-pa-citi-bla.
155
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,380
I know your game,woman.
156
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:20,250
You see,you refuse to learn this because you don't
157
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,590
want to have the skill because you don't want to do it.
158
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,840
So,you're gonna repeat after me,ok?
159
00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:30,790
It is water,prime,coffee,tamp,twist,button.
160
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:37,230
Wapacitiba!Wapacitiba!Wapacitiba!
161
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,980
Ok,you know what? Fine!
162
00:07:39,030 --> 00:07:41,510
I could learn,but I don't feel like it.Are you happy?!
163
00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:44,230
No! No! I am not happy because I am--
164
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:48,050
I am physically and spiritually exhausted.
165
00:07:48,150 --> 00:07:52,980
But the free ride is over,sister!
166
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,580
What are you saying?
167
00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,700
You're refusing to make me cappuccino?
168
00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:59,610
That's right! I am.Starkbucks is closed--
169
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,430
starkbucks?!
170
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,510
Stark!Starkbucks,that's right.
171
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,850
Ooh,good one!
172
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,910
It happens to be very clever.
173
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:10,100
I can't believe you won't do this one little thing for me.
174
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,390
If I made a list of everything that I do around here,
175
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:13,710
it would go once around the equator.
176
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:18,540
Oh,don't threaten me with your travel agency fancy lingo.
177
00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:21,150
Ok,because I have a list,too,missy!
178
00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:22,470
Really? I'd like to see that list.
179
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,190
I would like to show you my list.
180
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,020
Ok,should we do it now
181
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,040
or after I prepare dinner for us like I do every night?!
182
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:28,970
We're gonna see it after dinner
183
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:31,880
because I don't want to do it on an empty stomach.
184
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,110
You could just sign right here
185
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Sure.
186
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,440
What's wrong?
187
00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:44,900
Usually you're magic trick of the month puts you in a great mood.
188
00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,530
Oh. Oh,it's not that.
189
00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:51,540
I'm psyched as hell about my new chinese linking rings.
190
00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:55,400
It's just,actually,I got a thing with my wife
191
00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,840
She gave away a gift my mother gave me without asking.
192
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,140
Wow. Not cool.
193
00:09:03,490 --> 00:09:07,650
No. It is not,ups mitch. It is not.
194
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,470
All right.
195
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:12,830
Well,I got,like,400 packages to deliver...
196
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:14,480
wait,wait,wait,wait,wait,hey!
197
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:17,910
What did we give you for a holiday tip last year?
198
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,700
A tin of something brown.
199
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:22,630
I'm gonna say hard fudge.
200
00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:26,420
Well,I am about to bump that up,my friend.
201
00:09:26,470 --> 00:09:28,170
Oh,here we go!
202
00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:30,200
Merry belated christmas.
203
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,770
My wife,she loves this thing.
204
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:34,030
But I think it's just taking up space.
205
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:34,870
Wow!
206
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,880
A crystal apple.
207
00:09:35,970 --> 00:09:36,580
Uh-huh.
208
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,730
I've never been happier.
209
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,020
What's up with you?
210
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,840
Your new magic trick came,didn't it?
211
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:51,140
I'll go sit on the couch.
212
00:09:51,140 --> 00:09:53,570
It came,but that's not why I'm so happy right now.
213
00:09:53,610 --> 00:09:54,400
What's up?
214
00:09:54,450 --> 00:09:56,260
Look,I am sorry,sunshine,
215
00:09:56,310 --> 00:10:00,680
but I just gave away your precious crystal apple to ups mitch.
216
00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:03,030
Bam!
217
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:05,630
Jeff,you shouldn't have done that.
218
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,500
Why not? Why? Because it was something meaningful to you?
219
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:09,250
Because it was given to you
220
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,800
by someone that you love and care about deeply?
221
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,310
Well,that is exactly how I felt about the cappuccino maker.
222
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:16,550
Now you know how I feel.
223
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,200
Jeff,I am truly sorry
224
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,120
I gave away that gift from your mother.
225
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,570
But here's the thing:
226
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:26,330
That crystal apple was also a gift from your mother.
227
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,070
Remember when you got your first teaching job?
228
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:35,180
Oh,that's starting to ring a bell,yeah.
229
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:42,420
Ok!Things joy does around the house.
230
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:43,920
One,cooks.
231
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,020
Two,cleans.
232
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3,pays the bills.
233
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,030
4,does the laundry.
234
00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:50,320
5,buys all gifts.
235
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,850
6,handles all federal,state,and local taxes.
236
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:58,320
Oh,wait,wait,wait,wait.Are we allowed to include government related activities?
237
00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,810
Because that was not made clear.
238
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,020
7,oversees handymen.
239
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:10,800
8,administers all your pills,injections,and ointments.
240
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:12,620
9--my list goes to 25.
241
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,960
Do you want me to take a break and you can read yours?
242
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,360
Sounds great.
243
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,140
One,I take out the trash.
244
00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:21,220
Ok.
245
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,420
Two,I grill.
246
00:11:23,530 --> 00:11:27,230
3,I make pancakes.
247
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:31,150
4,I make blueberry pancakes.
248
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,820
That's all you got?
249
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:43,860
Trash,the grilling,and the pancakes.
250
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,800
And the blueberry pancakes.
251
00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,950
And I also am in charge of a lot of intangibles
252
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,170
that I didn't have time to put on the list.
253
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:56,650
Such as?
254
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:02,330
I protect us...
255
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,980
from intruders.
256
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,530
And bears.
257
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:12,830
And strange people carrying...religious pamphlets.
258
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,680
Ok,so,let me get this straight.
259
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:22,000
While you are making the pancakes,in the back of your mind,
260
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:30,890
you're also on the lookout...for pamphlets and bears.
261
00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:34,390
Do you really think it's a coincidence
262
00:12:34,460 --> 00:12:36,760
that there has never been a bear or a pamphlet
263
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,770
in our house?
264
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:43,120
That's--that's all me,baby!
265
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,190
You know what?
266
00:12:44,380 --> 00:12:46,190
You are the one who is getting the free ride.
267
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,270
No,I am not!
268
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:51,100
I am your cappuccino,pamphlet,bear guy.
269
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:52,890
Ok,you know what?You know what?
270
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,890
This is what we're gonna do.
271
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,300
Ok,I am gonna learn how to make cappuccinos...
272
00:12:58,390 --> 00:13:05,070
and I am also going to protect us from all animals and all intruders.
273
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:08,200
And you are gonna take on one of the things that I do.
274
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,370
How about you're gonna do... bills.
275
00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:12,560
You know what?
276
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:15,370
-I would love to do the bills.
-Great.
277
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:20,480
Because,you know,I keep hearing about these mysterious bills.
278
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:24,880
Oh,I can't go out tonight because I have to pay the bills.
279
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,960
Oh,I just cannot wait to see what these bills are all about.
280
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:30,930
Great. Here you go.
281
00:13:35,790 --> 00:13:38,270
Wait,we pay for water?
282
00:13:42,042 --> 00:13:43,643
Wapacitiba
283
00:13:47,417 --> 00:13:48,710
ba
284
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,333
What's ba?
285
00:13:51,974 --> 00:13:52,931
button
286
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,375
boomya
287
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,710
How's it going with those bills,my prince?
288
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:10,180
I am in an epic battle of good and evil
289
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,360
with the gas companies of greater philadelphia,joy
290
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:17,350
I am in "the matrix!"
291
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,010
Oh,my god.Didn't that burn?
292
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:26,660
Not as much my throat,just my insides.
293
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:28,870
Ok. Hey.
294
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:33,310
Did you know that if you badger a customer service representative long enough
295
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:36,060
he will actually drop the state usage fee?
296
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:36,980
How much is that?
297
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,760
$3.00 per fiscal quarter.
298
00:14:42,790 --> 00:14:43,960
Hey.
299
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:46,370
I got 3 channels here. They're all fuzzy.
300
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:51,490
Oh,yeah,I switched us over to satellite because the first month is free.
301
00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:53,460
And then I'm gonna switch back to cable
302
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,040
where the first month is free.
303
00:14:56,150 --> 00:15:00,980
Cable,dish,cable,dish.Boom,boom,boom. Ping-pong of savings.
304
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,830
Eddie,you can't do that.You're gonna get caught.
305
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,780
And if I do,I just change my middle initial.
306
00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:10,560
Ha ha ha ha ha!
307
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:19,320
The battle of antietam was the single deadliest day in american history.
308
00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:22,070
The rivers ran red with the blood of--
309
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:26,350
Keystone cellular.This is barbara.May I help you?
310
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,220
Yeah,hi.just a second,please.
311
00:15:29,310 --> 00:15:31,250
Kids,I have to take this call.
312
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,930
I've been on hold with this company for,like,7 hours.
313
00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,220
And have to resolve this situation
314
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:41,030
so I will be able to teach you at the high level of excellence
315
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:42,920
that all of you deserve.
316
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,610
So,um...heads down.
317
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:50,210
Uh,yeah,hi,barbara.It's eddie again.
318
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:55,980
Yeah,uh,listen,I'm gonna need you to drop the international plan for my cell phone
319
00:15:56,130 --> 00:16:00,890
because I really have no use for europe or it's neighbors.
320
00:16:01,030 --> 00:16:04,570
Yeah,yeah. Can you--can you hold?I have another call coming in.
321
00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:05,480
Hello?
322
00:16:05,610 --> 00:16:06,820
Hey,it's me.
323
00:16:06,910 --> 00:16:11,470
Look,I have $200 worth of groceries here and my credit card has just been declined.
324
00:16:11,590 --> 00:16:14,600
Oh,yeah,well,we don't work with that credit card company anymore.
325
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:19,780
I really didn't care for supervisor gene richmond's tone.
326
00:16:19,910 --> 00:16:21,780
What am I supposed to do,eddie?
327
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:27,590
I--I have $700 in petty cash in the hamper under my dirty underwear.
328
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,890
Can't get it now,won't touch it ever.
329
00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:35,030
I think that this is getting a little bit out of control,don't you?
330
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:37,820
Listen,I'm in the middle of molding young minds here.
331
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,500
So,we're gonna have to deal with this later.
332
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:45,230
Ok,I'm gonna level with you,barb,that was verizon,and they want me bad.
333
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:49,630
So,you're--you're just gonna have to start dancing.
334
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,690
You wouldn't want to buy these for me,would you?
335
00:16:59,230 --> 00:17:01,790
I'll show you one of my boobs.
336
00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:07,830
Joy?
337
00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:09,520
Joy?
338
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,730
Eddie,stop.
339
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,710
I told you,if you can't do it without waking me up,we're not doing it.
340
00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:19,550
No,it's not that.This is very important.
341
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,090
I figured out a way to use our miles to pay our electric bill. Ha ha!
342
00:17:23,140 --> 00:17:25,140
What the hell is wrong with you?
343
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:26,820
It's--it's 2 A.M.
344
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,700
Not in new delhi,my dear.Uh,hello,mohandas.
345
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:31,920
What time is it there,please?
346
00:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,570
It's already friday?
347
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:36,680
Well,T.G.I.F.,If you know what I'm saying.
348
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:38,850
You don'T.
349
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:39,660
Oh. Oh,ok.
350
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:43,880
I'll call you back.
351
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:46,300
-Did you hear that?
-Yeah,I did.
352
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,350
Ok,you're up.
353
00:17:48,490 --> 00:17:49,290
What?
354
00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:50,510
You're intruders.
355
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,810
Go see what the noise was.
356
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,840
You're actually gonna make me go down there
357
00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:56,880
and confront what could possibly be... a murderer?
358
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,530
Or a bear.
359
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,460
Either way,it's your job.So,go check it out.
360
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,770
And I'll crawl into your warm spot and make some more calls.
361
00:18:05,590 --> 00:18:06,690
You are unbelievable.
362
00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:07,900
Aah!
363
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:24,720
Ok,I'm here in no official capacity.
364
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,320
But I heard you scream,and I just want to make sure everything was ok.
365
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,720
There is a squirrel in the house.
366
00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:31,400
How the hell did a squirrel get into our house?
367
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:32,270
Oh,come on,look.
368
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,740
He's just a cute little--
369
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:35,690
oh,god!
370
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:39,000
He only has one eye!He's a fighter!
371
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:39,720
Go!
372
00:18:39,850 --> 00:18:41,610
What are you doing?Get it!
373
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,540
No,no,no. You get it.
374
00:18:42,670 --> 00:18:47,150
I already got us matching fleece pullovers for renewing "sports illustrated."
375
00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:48,770
All right,if you are not gonna get it,
376
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,710
I am gonna call animal control.
377
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:51,980
Oh! Careful!
378
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,700
there's no dial tone
379
00:18:57,910 --> 00:19:02,530
yeah,we don't have a land line for...about 24 hours.
380
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:03,490
What?!
381
00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:04,310
We don't have a phone?!
382
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,540
No,no. Because I switched our provider.
383
00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:08,650
We're now with majik.
384
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:12,300
And all you have to do is dial 1-684-39-pound before your calls.
385
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:14,380
They'll put you right in there.
386
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,220
You know...
387
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,880
I thought that by giving you the bills,
388
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:20,160
you would realize how hard I work around here.
389
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,760
But it turns out I'm the one who has realized something.
390
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:28,950
I am married to A...obsessive,anal-retentive manic.
391
00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:32,880
That's pretty harsh for a guy who just saved us a bundle on prepaid gas.
392
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:35,470
I can't make a phone call.
393
00:19:35,470 --> 00:19:37,030
I can't buy groceries.
394
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:38,900
I can't get cash from an atm.
395
00:19:38,990 --> 00:19:41,130
Do you know what I had to do for lunch today?
396
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:42,620
Steal a burrito!
397
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,230
I had to rob a mini-mart,eddie!
398
00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:48,180
Effective immediately,
399
00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:50,130
I will do everything around here,
400
00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,940
you will do nothing!
401
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:52,760
Got it?!
402
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:03,270
The only thing that you have to do right now is get that squirrel out of my house.
403
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,580
All right,just give me the shoe.
404
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,660
It's go time.
405
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,820
Ok! Oh,ha ha! Got him right in the tail!
406
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:18,600
All right,he's not pleased.
407
00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:19,260
All right,
408
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:24,920
he's coming at us with either a hot dog or a finger in his mouth.Go! Move!
409
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,970
What the hell are you thinking?
410
00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:42,230
We got it back,sweetie.
411
00:20:42,370 --> 00:20:43,960
Would you look at that.
412
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,040
You know what?
413
00:20:45,180 --> 00:20:48,100
I never should have given it away in the first place.
414
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:49,340
I'm really sorry.
415
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,630
Oh,no.Look,baby,I overreacted.It was just...
416
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:57,880
you know,we were getting married,and my mother,the woman who bore me,
417
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,960
took a day of from the bottling factory and took the bus downtown
418
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:07,370
and dug deep into her heart and her bank account and bought us this.
419
00:21:07,450 --> 00:21:10,290
Hey,what's this sticker on the back?
420
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:15,260
"Thank you for trying out for wheel of fortune..."
421
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:21,120
"please enjoy this consolation prize."
422
00:21:23,530 --> 00:21:26,530
It's a re-gift.
423
00:21:26,670 --> 00:21:28,570
That bitch.
31031
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